The Resolution
by coldplaywhore
Summary: Bella is coming out of her shell with the help of her two best friends, Rosalie and Alice. All three girls have visions of falling for the popular boys, but when Bella's life is turned upside down, will Edward be able to help her? Will he even want to?
1. My Last First Day

**A/N: Since Love Will Come Through is on its last legs (2 chapters and an epilogue) I thought I would share with you guys the new story that has been running through my extremely tired brain. It won't be updated as often, since I'm going to focus on American Boy next, but expect a weekly update, in the very least.**

**Thanks to MaggieMay14 for encouraging this madness, and flightlessbird11 for all her input. The music in this story will be country based, so if you have a preference (since I know not everyone loves the Kings of Leon or Death Cab for Cutie) send me some song recommendations. Yes, I listen to country music too. In fact, I listen to a little bit of everything.**

**Clothes for the chapter are on my profile btw!**

**I don't own twilight, but I am munching away on a pack of skittles that my kid doesn't seem too interested in. Yes… I am so mean, I take candy from a baby.**

**BPOV**

_That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive  
carved my name into his leather seats...  
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,  
slashed a hole in all 4 tires..._

Sweet lord make it stop.

I moved my hand along my nightstand, desperately trying to find my cell phone and make the music stop. Rosalie had programmed the ringtone a few days ago and ever since I had been having trouble figuring out how to change it. New fucking phone; well new to me. It's not like I could currently afford some fancy piece of shit iPhone or anything like that. "I'm up," I mumbled into the small hand me down phone as I heard knocking on my front door.

"Chief Daddy just left, so come unlock the door and then get into the damned shower," she yelled at me clear as day. I could hear her outside my window, even without the cell phone in my hand. I stood up reluctantly and looked out the window to see her and Alice pacing along my porch in their pajamas with bags of stuff, which I assumed was clothes and makeup.

"The spare key is inside the damned mailbox Rosalie. Let yourself in and I'm going to get in the shower," I replied in frustration as I closed the cell phone and tossed it onto my bed. I dragged my ass into the bathroom and glanced at myself in the mirror. God I looked like shit. Rosalie and Alice are going to yell at me for not getting enough sleep, but I could handle that. What I didn't think I would be able to handle the first day of senior year at Forks High.

As I stepped into the shower, I couldn't help but recall the past few years with Alice and Rosalie. We had been best friends since pre-school and had weathered some pretty bad storms together, usually because of me. However, during the summer, we found ourselves finally growing into our gawky looks and realized that we were growing up. Alice got the braces off, Rosalie grew boobs (well, bigger boobs) and I got curvy, or as Alice would remind me, I now had an hourglass figure. We had made a pact during the summer to go back to school in the fall, shedding our former images and oozing confidence and sex appeal, and this is why they were outside my house at six o'clock in the morning. Our parents would no doubt murder each of us if they saw what we had planned to wear to school.

"Get out of the shower Bella," called Alice as she pounded on the door and I reluctantly stepped into my bedroom dressed in my bra, panties and an oversized sweatshirt of Charlie's. Charlie is my dad and I love him with all my heart, even if he does tend to get a little overprotective of me.

Ever since Renee deserted us more than eight years ago, it's been just the two of us. Charlie and Bella…. Bella and Charlie. I could say I missed my mother, but I would be lying. In my opinion, the way she left us was simply heinous and she rarely came into my thoughts these days, I had more important things to worry about than a woman who couldn't handle a little rough patch in our lives. We had gone through our fair share of ups and downs in our years together, but Charlie was my rock. Of course Charlie still treated me like an eight year old, which was why I was glad he worked the early shift for the Forks Police Department and was never home in the morning.

Alice and Rosalie were excited to reap the benefits of his early mornings by sneaking over and getting ready to blow away the male population at Forks High, and possible some of the females. The verdict was still out about the sexual preference of Tanya Denali and most of the school liked to speculate and gossip about her. Although, I think it was Rosalie who spread the initial rumor that she was a 'carpet muncher' after her and Rose got into a spat during gym one day about knee high socks. It was in that instance that I was glad Rosalie was my best friend and not my worst enemy.

"I'm here beauty nazi, do your worst," I mumbled to Alice as she grabbed the blow dryer and immediately set to work on my hair. I glanced over at Rosalie, who was putting her makeup on using the small mirror on my dresser, as carefully as possible. We couldn't afford any mistakes today; this had been Alice's mantra all week.

"So, did you see Jasper Whitlock got a new truck?" asked Alice curiously as Rosalie and I both laughed. Alice had been crushing on Jasper ever since the fourth grade when he moved to town from Dallas, Texas. He used to be the tall lanky kid with the southern accent that everyone got along with until he hit high school. Puberty had been excellent to Jasper and he soon found he had quite a way with the girls. He was charming and personable, however, joining the football team as their kicker didn't hurt either. "Well, it's new to him. I think it's an old Chevy Silverado or something, but he looks so cute driving it."

"Stop dreaming of his damned truck. Remember the plan Alice, by the end of the day, you need to have talked to him or Bella here gets to dress you for the rest of the week," giggled Rosalie as I heard Alice groan behind me. Alice was our fashionista in our threesome and the mere thought of me dressing her for the week was clearly a threat in her eyes. Rosalie was the makeup artist and the brawn; she could not only put on mascara perfectly but also complete an oil change at the same time. I however, was the brains of the operation. I was the one who forced good taste in books and music on them. I also reminded them to do their homework and was probably responsible for the fact that we all had near perfect 4.0 grade averages.

"I know… talk to Jasper or wear sweat pants. I remember Rosalie," Alice replied angrily as I simply grinned and let her continue to curl my hair. I already knew what clothes I would force Alice to wear, a holey flannel shirt of Charlie's with a pair of oversized sweatpants that she would be forced to roll up at the waist because they were two sizes too big. "You do remember your task, right Rosie?"

"Like I could forget… make Emmett McCarty drool. I doubt that will be an issue with these babies," she said with a loud boisterous laugh as she turned around and pointed to her breasts which were now at least a 36D. Emmett, the captain of the football team, was always known to be a breast man, which Rosalie was now planning to use to her advantage. I knew Emmett lusted after Rosalie, because on many occasions last year he had cornered me to ask about her, specifically some of her likes and dislikes. However, he never once made a move on her, which still baffled me to this day, especially since he was such a confident and outgoing guy who everyone either looked up to or envied.

I, however, had the distinct displeasure of lusting after one of the most unattainable guys in all of Forks High School, Edward Cullen. He was a jock, a brainiac and a player, which was the worst possible combination. A smart, athletic guy who could have and always did get any girl he wanted. There was no way he would even consider dating me even with all the changes over the summer. "You don't need to remind me of my goal… talk to Edward before the end of the week," I said with a reluctant sigh.

When it came to the opposite sex, I lacked any and all confidence. I could quote Chaucer with the best of them or sing all the lyrics to every CCR song known to man (a side effect of living with Charlie Swan), but I couldn't talk to boys. Last year when I was asked out on a date by Sam Vernon, I giggled incessantly and then ran to the bathroom to throw up. I never said yes and he never asked again, not that I blamed him. It was small things like this that reinforced why we were doing this plan in the first place.

"Don't sound so fucking emo Bella. You guys are both in advanced classes, I am sure you will run into each other at some point. Just drop your pencil and squeeze your tits together or flash him the top of your thong," explained Rosalie as Alice and I both laughed easily at her.

"That's easy for you Rosalie, you have tits to flaunt," I added as she groaned at me in frustration. I smacked myself mentally, reminding myself quickly that I was supposed to be confident, and I was confident … confident this plan would fail.

"Shut up Bella. You have decent breasts. Much better than Jessica fucking Stanley. I heard her dad bought her a boob job for her eighteenth birthday but the Doctor was a bit shifty and now they look lopsided. I have so many potential nicknames for the little hussy, I can barely wait for her to piss me off this year," stated Rosalie firmly as she started sorting through the bags of clothing that Alice had brought with her.

Rosalie pulled out a red and black halter top and adjusted the fit until it showed more of her cleavage before finally settling on a pair of jean shorts that were so tight and short they looked like they were painted on. "If Forks High institutes a dress code it will be because of that outfit Rosalie," laughed Alice as Rosalie did a quick turn in front of my full length mirror and checked out her ass for a moment.

Alice then proceeded to grab a black and white striped sleeveless shirt which she threw towards me. "Put this on," she muttered without even looking in my direction. I slipped it over my head as Rosalie came up behind me and tied the excess fabric in a knot on the lower part of my back. The shirt was now so tight on me; I figured everyone would be able to see my rib cage. "Here's part two."

I caught the small jean skirt that Alice tossed at me and slipped it on before walking towards my closet to fetch my comfortable old black lace-up Vans that I planned to wear. "No way Bella. New girl, new shoes," chided Rosalie as I sat on the floor and acted like a protester for PETA, complete with a childish pout.

"The shoes stay. If I even consider trying a pair of heels like you girls, you do realize I will break my leg or something. How confident will I be with a fucking cast? Anyways, why do I have to be trendy… why can't I be quirky and sexy?" I countered as they both stopped and stared at each other for a moment, finally relenting as I jumped up and cheered excitedly.

"We agree on one condition," said Alice as I turned back to her ominously. "No Vans with a dress."

"Fine, I think I can manage that one," I said as I glanced over at Alice with envy as she pulled on a pair of jeans. She rolled the hem up to her calf and then tossed on a white vest, with nothing underneath. We were all going to the principal's office today, I could feel it.

Less than thirty minutes later, we all managed to be completely ready for school and even ate some breakfast. Sure it consisted of a Red Bull each and a handful of granola, but it was better than nothing. We stepped out onto the porch with our backpacks in our hands and I locked up, turning around and staring slightly slack jawed at Rosalie's new truck. "Sweet Baby Jesus… where did you get that beast?"

"It's fucking gorgeous isn't it? Grandpa Hale came back from his extended vacation *cough cough* sleeping with his mistress in Boca, and bought it for me as a gift for my eighteenth birthday last month," said Rosalie proudly as she slid her hand along the side of her new cherry red Ford 450 Super Duty Pickup Truck. The thing was huge and probably wouldn't fit into one of the parking spaces at Forks High, but she would definitely stand out.

"Shotgun," I called out as we all piled in to the truck, Alice getting the backseat for not being quick enough on the draw. She moped the entire time we rode to school, only perking up when she saw Jasper's Chevy in the parking lot. Rosalie turned up her anthem, 'I like it, I love it' by Tim McGraw as we pulled in to a parking spot, the windows down and her hair blowing slightly in the wind. Thank god it was sunny today; otherwise we would all be freezing our girly bits off.

"You girls ready?" she asked as she turned to face both Alice and I.

"Yup," declared Alice confidently as I simply nodded my head, reached for my backpack and Rosalie shut off the truck and whipped open the door. None of us were surprised to see the random assortment of Forks losers that had gathered around the truck and were practically drooling. Alice and I wandered over beside Rosalie and we all started to walk into the school, trying to ignore the stares and glares from the other students. The boys were staring and the girls were obviously glaring and wondering what the fuck had happened to us over the summer as Alice giggled beside me, apparently pleased with our transformation.

"Rosalie…"called out Emmett just as we reached the front door. We all turned around slowly and saw Jasper and Edward standing beside him, which was nothing unusual. I smiled casually, trying to play it cool and aloof and most likely failing miserably since my insides were screaming for Edward. Emmett left his friends and walked up to Rosalie, taking a piece of her hair in his hand before laying it back down on her shoulder, his hand oh so casually brushing against her breast. "You look really hot."

"I know. Now if you are done stating the obvious I have to get to math," she stated bitchily as he stared at her chest a little dumbfounded. "Emmett… my fucking face is up here."

"Oh, shit… sorry Rosalie. Do you have Math with O'Brien?" he asked nervously. Rosalie's mission was working brilliantly. She was playing it cool and Emmett was already drooling at her tits. Rosalie simply nodded her head and Emmett suddenly took her bag from her and offered to walk her to class.

"Shit, that was fast," laughed Alice as we watched them disappear from view into the building and down the hallway. "Let's get to Spanish before Senorita Marquez has our ass."

"Lead the way sugar."

**EPOV**

_Untouchable._ That's what I call her. Well in my head I called her that, to anyone else I barely acknowledged her existence. To everyone else, she could just be like any other student at the school whose name I didn't know and face I didn't recognize, except she wasn't… she was perfect. Isabella Swan was the stunning only daughter of the Chief of Police and that fact alone is one of the many that has made her unattainable to me. She is the small town girl with the classic features like deep chocolate brown eyes and long dark hair, who would end up marrying a guy just like her father and having a bunch of kids, all the while staying in Forks. I was not that guy.

I, Edward Cullen, was the guy who enjoyed quick fucks from random girls and never once had a serious girlfriend in eighteen years. I never had girls in my bedroom, I never took anyone out on a date and on the rare occasion I needed to be seen somewhere, I was usually alone, looking for the next piece of ass. It's not that I was opposed to the entire concept of relationships, I was just opposed them for me. For now anyways. I had bigger fish to fry and that involved getting my ass out of this fucking hick town. The last thing I needed was to fall for some girl, stay behind in Forks to be with her and toss all my fucking dreams out the window.

Bella, however, was the long term romance kind of girl which was why, no matter how much I wanted her, I never even once talked to her. Sure, we had conversations through grade school, most likely about Jasper's penchant for eating paste, but the moment high school came along and I started to think very impure thoughts about her, she became untouchable to me.

My initial feelings for her started in grade four. Bella started the school year and I decided I was going to try to talk to her during recess one day. The day I got up the courage, she wasn't at school. In fact, she was gone for the rest of the school year and most likely left with her mom when her parents got divorced, at least that was the rumor going around school. She came back for the fifth grade, but my courage was gone and she didn't even talk to me anymore. She never left the side of her best friends, Rosalie and Alice.

I had done an admirable job of ignoring her virtually all summer. Our friends hung out in different circles, so that was one of the things that made the few months away from school slightly bearable. The worst moment by far of my summer was also the best, when I happened to see her sunbathing down at Lake Olympia with Rosalie and Alice. I was running late to meet Jasper, Emmett and some of the other guys from the football team to play a game of beach volleyball and when I pulled into the parking lot, I ended up with the worst possible parking spot. Thankfully for me though, I was also graced with the beautiful image of Bella wearing a very sad excuse for a bikini and turning over on her long lounger chair that she had brought with her. When she moved and adjusted herself, her top slipped and revealed more of her breast to me that I had ever considering seeing. Of course, then my eyes immediately fell between her legs and I noticed wetness, which was probably from swimming in the lake, but I didn't care. I ran back to my car, peeled out of the parking lot and found the most deserted spot I could and beat off like a madman, eventually arriving over an hour late to play volleyball. These images kept me very busy for the next few weeks and also kept my house out of water.

Now today, sitting here in my dilapidated old hand me down Volvo from my parents, I was dreading going into school and seeing her again. Perhaps we wouldn't have any classes together. Then again, with my luck we would have every fucking class together. I rested my head against the back of my seat and closed my eyes, trying to relax before the bell rang and I was forced to head to class.

"What the fuck?" I shouted loudly within the confines of my car as I heard hard knocking on my window and turned around to see Emmett outside with the gayest look on his face. The Volvo wasn't anything special, an ugly grey thing that barely passed emissions testing, but it was mine, it worked and the back seat was spacious, so I was happy. I turned off the car and stepped out slowly as I noticed Jasper on his way over to join us.

"Don't look so shocked Cullen. It's not like I caught you beating off or something," laughed Emmett as I groaned at him while accepting the standard good morning pat on the back from Jazz. Little did he know that if I had kept my thoughts on virginal Bella any longer, I'd probably be harder than a rock and envisioning myself banging her like a screen door in a hurricane.

"Fuck off Em," I replied angrily as I grabbed my backpack from the passenger seat of the car and locked it before walking towards the building with them. We were about to go inside when we were suddenly overwhelmed with Tim McGraw's voice singing loudly.

_But I like it, I love it, I want some more of it,  
I try so hard, I can't rise above it.  
Don't know what it is bout that little gals lovin,  
But I like it, I love it, I want some more of it._

"Sweet Jesus," Emmett commented as Jasper quickly followed up with "I like to think of Jesus as wearin' a tuxedo T-shirt, 'cause it says, like, 'I want to be formal, but I'm here to party too.' I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party."

"Shut up Jasper," I retorted as I looked over at Emmett who had completely ignored Jasper's Talladega Nights rant and was now staring stupidly at the big red truck that just pulled into the parking lot blaring Tim McGraw. I was about to let my jaw drop to the ground when I saw Bella jump down from the huge truck along with Alice and Rosalie, but I couldn't do that.

_Untouchable, remember dickhead._

"Holy fuck… look at Rosalie Hale," said Emmett as he punched me in the shoulder and I looked towards the girls. Unfortunately for me I couldn't take my eyes off of Bella in her way too tight black and white striped shirt and jean skirt. "Okay boys, watch me work my magic."

"Rosalie… " yelled Emmett as the three girls were about to open the main door to the school. They all turned around slowly, moving perfectly in sync with one another as though they had practiced their seduction moves over the summer. While Emmett couldn't take his eyes off of Rosalie, I noticed Jasper's seemed to be glued to Alice's chest. It would be just my luck if these two dickheads would end up dating Bella's best friends and we'd be awkwardly put together in every fucking possible scenario. Bella was smiling easily and part of me really wanted to walk up to her and kiss her; that part was not my brain.

Emmett walked away from us and up towards Rosalie, and I couldn't help but notice the sly way he touched her hair and then felt up her tit. He wasn't as slick as he thought he was. I think everyone within a ten mile radius caught that freshmen move. "You look really hot."

"I know. Now if you are done stating the obvious I have to get to math," Rosalie said bitchily as Emmett blatantly stared at her tits. Everyone in the western hemisphere knew Emmett McCarty loved breasts. Some even speculated that this was the reason Jessica Stanley got a botched boob job over the summer, but none of it was proven, yet. "Emmett… my fucking face is up here."

"Oh, shit… sorry Rosalie. Do you have math with O'Brien?" Emmett asked nervously as he fidgeted with his fingers and she nodded her head. He grabbed her backpack from her and led her into the building and down the hallway.

"Holy fuck, one look at Rose and he's already fucking whipped. This is going to be a long year," groaned Jasper as we walked into the school, directly behind Alice and Bella who we could hear discussing going to their Spanish class. "What's your first class?"

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small crumpled up ball of paper that held my schedule. I smoothed it out against a locker and stared at it for a moment. "I have Government with Francis. What about you?"

"Spanish with Marquez," he said with a wide shit eating grin. I watched with envy as he continued to walk down the hallway, his eyes glued to Alice's tiny ass as I turned on my heel and headed off to Government.

The day passed by pretty fucking slowly. By the time lunch came around, I had yet to have a single class with Bella, which I was very thankful for. I sat at my usual table, munching on some Sunchips with Jasper, Emmett and a few other guys from the football team when Rosalie, Alice and Bella all walked in, causing quiet a commotion. I felt a pang of jealousy as some of the guys who usually sat with the school sluts Lauren and Jessica suddenly got up from their seats and sat down with the girls. I couldn't help but think they were suddenly popular because of their new look, but they didn't seem to care. In fact, they all seemed to relish in it, even Bella.

"Earth to Edward," snapped Emmett as he waved his hand in front of his face and I looked at him, a little pissed for being caught staring.

"What?"

"Coach Clapp has delayed our first practice until next Tuesday. Apparently he's just as pissed as we are that they started school a week early. I mean, what's the fucking point of starting school at the end of August only to give us next Monday off," he asked as I looked at him with a raised eye brow.

"Next Tuesday, that's fine.

"You boys are coming on Saturday right?" asked Tyler as all three of us looked at him oddly, unsure of what he was talking about.

"All day and night on Saturday, Lauren and Jessica are apparently hosting a beach party down at Lake Olympia. Rumor has it that Lauren's older brother is buying a ton of booze for the party and there will even be some beach volleyball. You will show up on time, right Cullen?" he asked with a laugh as I nodded my head and went back to staring at the girls.

"I should convince Rosalie to bring Alice and Bella," stated Emmett, no doubt envisioning her squeezing her now D sized tits into a bikini.

"Good idea, man," said Jasper as he slapped Emmett on the back and I simply laughed, knowing damn well he suddenly had the hots for tiny Alice Brandon. "What? Who wouldn't like to see those girls lying on towels in some skimpy ass bikinis."

"I know I would love to see Bella in something fucking hot. She certainly had an excellent summer," laughed Mike Newton, one of the offensive linemen on the team. The moment he spoke about Bella though, I had visions of ripping of his head, handing it to Jasper and letting him kick a fucking field goal. Dipshit.

I sat for the rest of the lunch hour with my eyes burning holes into the back of Bella's shirt while trying half-heartedly listen to my friends discuss both their plans for the party on Saturday and the upcoming football season. Lauren came up to me at one point to try and strike up conversation, asking if I was going to her party on Saturday but I ignored her and left the table early. I headed off to the first of my last two classes, Biology, which was an easy A in my opinion. I ended up sitting next to Jessica Stanley for the entire period as she blathered on about her party and how she hoped I would be able to come, preferably as her date. I briefly wondered if the best friends realized they were both trying to get me? Probably not.

"I don't do dates Jessica," I reminded her coolly as she nodded her head and started to pet my arm like I was a fucking terrier. "I had to tell Lauren the exact same thing earlier today."I pushed her hand from me and tried to focus on the class, reminding myself to try to make changes to my schedule at the end of the day, desperate to get out of her talons. When the bell rang, I was out of my chair like a flash and practically running to my last class of the day, health.

Emmett had suggested I sign up for it as one of my electives, stating it was an easy grade and a lot of naked pictures in the textbooks. My father of course was excited about me taking it because he hoped I would follow in his footsteps and become a doctor, and this was a college credit course. I didn't care though since I had no idea what I wanted to do when I graduated. I just needed a class to fill up my timetable and it was either this or home economics. I took my seat in the back corner and waited patiently for the class to start. When Mrs. Jameson walked in she started to hand out the textbooks, but only had enough for half of the class.

"It turns out some students have been opting to keep these textbooks at the end of the school year, so until we receive the new ones we have ordered, you are to share with the person directly to your right," she said sternly, clearly unimpressed that people like Emmett were swiping the books for their own personal pleasure. I smiled brightly though when I noticed I had an empty seat next to me, so I started to scan through the book she handed me until I heard the voice that would ruin my fucking day.

"Sorry I'm late Mrs. Jameson," said Bella gently as I lifted my head up and noticed the only empty seat was beside me.

"It's fine Bella. Go sit beside Edward and share his textbook," she said as she pointed beside me and Bella walked down the small aisle taking her seat. She nodded her head at me and I just thrust the book in her direction. I wasn't exactly feeling up to reading it anyways. "Today we will be discussing the sociocultural aspects of human sexuality, so turn to page twelve and starting reading." _Shoot me._

**A/N: So… good? Shit? Confused? Share… hit the green button. Oh and come looking for me over on twitter… I actually shared a teaser about this beast there today. **


	2. My Sandy Beach

**A/N: Okay, so I was overwhelmed with the response and support that Chapter 1 received, so I decided to post Chapter 2 tonight. I promise that E will not be a complete asshole man whore for the entire story; because I noticed some of you lovely reviewers were concerned about that.**

**I also hated the fact that B &E had biology together… I hate science. So, to make things more fun, let's toss them in Health (aka Sex Ed) and see what hilarious trouble we can get into. I even named their teacher after a porn star, I'm that obtuse.**

**I have links to their clothing on my profile page, and this will continue as the story goes along, so go check them out.**

**I don't own twilight, I do own a lot of country music CD's.**

**BPOV**

The first week of school went nothing like I had imagined. Ok, that's a flat out lie. I knew the boys would flock to us like hummingbirds to sugar water, but I didn't know how difficult it was going to be to talk to Edward. I sat next to the guy for four straight days in health class and he never once looked at me in the eye. Every day I would wander in and take my seat and he would be the last person to join us, looking around the room awkwardly while he sat down and pushed our textbook over t o me. If I hadn't known him since grade school, I would think he was a fucking mute.

Today was the last day for the goal I had set with Rosalie and Alice over the summer and I was determined to accomplish it. I just had to talk to him, nothing else. It's not like I needed to give him a blow job in the middle of the classroom, although this was 'sex class' as Rosalie liked to call it, so I doubt Mrs. Jameson would frown upon it. Knowing her she would probably point out the flaws in how I gripped his cock or felt his balls or something. I shook my head of the disturbing image and flipped open the book to page 32 as she requested and Edward and I continued along with our silent agreement, I read first, he read when I was done.

Once the reading was finished, we were discussing the public's views on sexuality and Mrs. Jameson was leading a rather 'frank' discussion on the topic which included her rants on the media and politicians. It was eye opening to say the least and I think even Edward seemed a little shocked. I took this as the perfect opportunity to speak to him.

"Do you think she'll be discussing the censors and Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction next?" I asked with a laugh as Edward stared at me, his eyes completely wide in shock. It was as though he thought I shouldn't be talking to him or something. I pulled away from him and turned back to the front of the room, proud for having spoken to him but pissed because he was acting like I was a fucking leper. I didn't acknowledge him for the rest of the class and thankfully, he did the same.

At the end of class, I grasped my bag firmly in my hand and was about to walk out when one of the players on the football team, Mike Newton, tapped me on the shoulder. "Yes?" I asked curiously as I tried to work the flirting shit that Rosalie and Alice had attempted to teach me. I twirled my hair in my fingers and cocked my head to side, waiting for him to speak. I felt like a complete fucking phony, especially since I wasn't really interested in him.

"I was wondering if you were going to the beach party tomorrow down at Lake Olympia?" he asked, sounding pretty apprehensive about the whole deal. Could he really be nervous about talking to me? I mean, shit I had known this guy for years and now all of a sudden I let Alice dress me like a daytime hooker and he acts like we've never met, let alone made snowmen out of colored paper and cotton balls in the second grade.

"Yeah. Alice, Rosalie and I will be going together," I replied as I noticed Edward, frozen in his seat and staring at Mike, from the corner of my eye. "Maybe I'll see you there?"

"Fuck yeah… I mean… yes, I'll be there," he stammered as I walked from the room and didn't bother to turn around. I stepped outside the building and found Rosalie flirting unabashedly with Tyler Crowley as Emmett paced angrily mere feet from her.

"Great, you're here Bella… let's go," she said, sounding relieved as she jumped into her truck and I followed suit. She sat in the front seat for a few moments, practically eye fucking Emmett who was now leaning against the hood of the truck, his eyes staring at her and I couldn't help but feel like I was intruding on a private moment.

"Do you need to go and talk to him Rose?" I asked her as she suddenly whipped her head around and looked at me angrily.

"No. Fucking jerk hasn't said two god damned words to me since Monday when he walked me to math," she said furiously as Emmett suddenly stepped back to join Edward and Jasper who had just walked out of the building. Rosalie turned the truck on and started blaring Miranda Lambert at the top volume as she suddenly pulled from the parking lot.

"Aren't we forgetting Alice?" I asked suddenly as she whipped out onto the street and headed towards Port Angeles.

"She left after lunch. Apparently she felt we needed new bathing suits for tomorrow's festivities, so she went on a mission. She texted me during last period and told me we had to meet her," said Rosalie as she tossed her cell phone across the seat. "So… today was the day. Did you talk to Edward?"

"Yeah. He didn't talk back."

"Fucking idiot," mumbled Rosalie angrily. I think she was getting a bit frustrated that our plan wasn't going like she wanted it to. She had clearly garnered Emmett's attention, as well as that of the rest of the male population of the school, but Emmett was acting like a complete jerk to her suddenly. At least Emmett knew she existed.

The rest of our drive was filled with silence, with the exception of the country music blaring from the stereo. Once we were out of the town limits of Forks, I turned down the volume and Rosalie just glared at me for a moment, apparently mad that I had touched something in her beloved pickup truck. Half an hour later, we were pulling up in front of one of the only store in Port Angeles that sold bathing suits and I could see Alice's tiny form through the window searching through the racks.

"Well hello ladies," she called out to us as we strolled in and she was smiling brightly. "There's a change room for both of you… go try these on." I looked at the small swatches of fabric she handed me and gasped. Charlie would chain me to a wall in the basement if he saw me wear this.

"Alice, I can't wear this," I replied as she ignored my pleas and shoved me into the small room.

"Think confidence Bella," she explained to me as I looked at the bathing suit and gave up. It was actually fairly cute but I didn't think I could pull it off. It was a small baby blue striped bikini that tied at the hips and featured ruffles around the waist and the breasts. Once I had it on, I had to admit, I looked good in it, maybe Edward would agree. _If he even looked at me._

I walked out awkwardly from the room and noticed Rosalie shifting her breasts within her bright red bikini, trying to accentuate her cleavage more. "Trying to suffocate yourself?" I asked with a laugh as she actually cracked a smile for the first time in over an hour.

"No Bella," she said with a giggle as she squeezed them together and they practically popped out of the top. "That's better."

"If you want to poke somebody's eye out then yes… that's better," I replied as Alice strolled in wearing a multi colored plaid bikini and Rosalie and I both burst out into laughter. "Let me guess… you found out Jasper likes plaid?"

"Maybe," said Alice as she blushed profusely and we all stood beside each other in the mirror. "Those boys are toast."

The next morning, Rosalie pulled into the driveway just after nine in the morning with Alice in tow. We quickly made sure we had all the essentials, like lawn chairs, towels, suntan oil and oversized sunglasses. Apparently we were pretending to be mysterious today. "New rules for the day ladies," laughed Rosalie as we sat at my kitchen table making our plans. "You are allowed to talk to any other boy, but the object of your affections."

"What the fuck is the point of that?" questioned Alice angrily as she slipped on an oversized purple hat that matched her swimsuit. Who the fuck was she… Jackie O? Alice had clearly hoped her plaid bikini would get her more face time with Jasper and Rose was clearly against it.

"The point, dear Alice, is to make them want us more. Jasper, Edward and Emmett won't be able to take their eyes off of us," she said confidently as I mumbled under my breath. "What was that Bella?"

"I said, not likely." Rosalie looked at me with disappointment in her eyes and I knew I was getting ready for a lecture.

"Bella, I could give you some long winded pile of shit about how beautiful you are but here's the deal. Edward likes you. How do I know, you wonder? Simple… I spent the last five days watching him stare at your back in the cafeteria and I saw him glare at the guys who sat at our table in jealousy. So, he didn't talk back to you in class. Perhaps he was nervous. Just put on the fucking bikini, slather yourself up in sunscreen and don't talk to him today," she groaned as I headed up the stairs to get changed while the girls waited for me in the kitchen.

Two hours later, we pulled up into the parking lot near the beach area of Lake Olympia and I couldn't help but remember us girls perfecting our tans here during July and August. I even recalled seeing Edward's shitty ass Volvo pull in one day, only to leave a few minutes later and then return again, confusing me to no end. We hopped out of the pickup, with our casual clothes hiding our bikinis and before we could even make our way to the back of the truck, Tyler and Mike were there with their buddy Eric to try to help us.

"Pretty girls like you ladies shouldn't be hauling stuff down to the beach," declared Tyler as he winked at Rosalie and hopped onto one of her oversized tires to get our chairs and bags out of the back of her truck.

"Well, isn't that really sweet of you Tyler," said Rosalie as she noticed Emmett on the beach, staring at her, from the corner of her eye. She stepped over to Tyler and kissed him gently on the cheek once he stepped back onto the uneven pavement of the parking lot.

"Anything for you Rosalie," he sat stoically as the boys grabbed all of our things and followed us onto the beach.

We stood there for a few moments, trying to find the best spot, somewhere as far away from Jessica and Lauren as humanly possible and Rosalie winked at me and walked towards where Jasper was lying on his back, listening to his iPod. She was probably pretty certain that wherever Jasper went, Emmett and Edward had to be nearby.

"Right here looks good," she said cheerfully as the boys set up our chairs, right in the eye line of the guys. "Thanks so much boys," she added sweetly as we all noticed Emmett and Edward wandering over. Tyler, Eric and Mike got called to play in the next game of volleyball, so they walked away from us and I giggled as Mike, who was walking backwards to keep his eyes on us, tripped over Jasper's feet and fell right on his ass.

"Okay, it's go time," laughed Alice as we all lifted our shirts over our heads to reveal our skimpy bikinis. All the boys on the beach were watching us intently at this moment and I couldn't help but laugh as Alice and Rosalie started to rub suntan oil on each other, hearing a few gasps from the male population. Rosalie and I slipped out of our shorts as Alice put on her oversized hat and took a spot in her chair, smirking proudly.

As expected, the three guys were all staring at us; open mouthed and drooling. Well, Emmett was definitely drooling, but the other two looked like they were ready to start at any moment. Before I could even feel proud of myself, Edward grabbed his towel and disappeared back towards the parking lot. Emmett and Jasper never moved a muscle.

The moment we were done, we placed our towels down on the chairs and then lay down on our stomachs, hoping to get our backs a little more tanned. "I seriously think I am an Edward repellant."

"Whatever Bella, he wants you. Perhaps back in class on Tuesday you can accidently drop something on his lap and reach for his cock," laughed Rosalie as I buried my head in my hands, completely mortified. Alice, of course, took the opportunity to embarrass me even further.

"If his hard on this afternoon is any indication, he looks like he's got a fucking redwood down his trunks."

**EPOV**

Bella fucking talked to me today and I sat there like a complete moron and I ignored her. I was a raving fucking idiot. Then to make things worse, Newton came over at the end of class and was practically drooling on her as he asked her whether she was going to Lauren and Jessica's beach party. I wanted to punch him in the face and tell him to stay the fuck away from her, but I had no right doing that or being jealous and it would probably piss off most of the football team if I suddenly beat the shit out of a fellow player for no particular reason. So when they finished talking, I stalked out of the room behind them and went to my locker, where Jasper was waiting rather impatiently.

"Alice left school this afternoon," he muttered, sounding surprisingly concerned for a guy who wasn't even dating her.

"So?"

"So… do you think she has a boyfriend? She hasn't mentioned anything during the times I have talked to her, but I can't help but wonder why she wasn't around for class after lunch," he explained as I rested a hand on his shoulder and held back the desire to smack him across the face and call him a pussy.

"I don't think she has a boyfriend, otherwise she wouldn't drool over your lame ass all day. Maybe she went away for the long weekend and left early," I suggested calmly as I shoved my books away and headed down the hall and out the front door to find Emmett. "What the fuck is he doing?"

Emmett was pacing around the front of Rosalie Hale's big ass truck like a man on a mission, a mission to beat the fuck out of Tyler and then grab Rose by her hair and drag her back to his cave. _Fucking Neanderthal._

I couldn't help but notice Bella was already sitting in the passenger side of the truck as Emmett leaned against the front of the hood, his hands firmly on the red metal as Rosalie stared at him intently. When Emmett noticed us approaching, he took a step back and joined us as we stood there a little slack jawed as Rosalie started her truck, turned up the loud country music she had streaming from her truck and got out of the parking lot faster than I could ever imagined that oversized truck going.

"What the fuck did you do to her?" asked Jasper curiously as we walked towards where we had parked all three of our cars.

"Nothing," replied Emmett as he stopped in front of his jeep and punched it, creating a small dent in the passenger side door. "Fuck."

"You did nothing? Does this mean you haven't even talked to her?" I asked anxiously as Emmett nodded his head and I laughed uncontrollably. "You can't seriously tell me that Emmett 'Magic Peen' McCarty hasn't even tried to fuck Rosalie?" Even Jasper found this pretty fucking hilarious until Emmett punched us both in the shoulder, no doubt leaving bruises behind.

"Dude, it's like I become a fucking mute when I am near her. Maybe if I didn't stare at her tits all day I could manage to fucking talk to her. It doesn't help that when she walks, her ass looks like two Pringles hugging," he answered, sounding pretty fucking disgusted with himself for not being able to talk to her. "I am going to talk to her tomorrow. Ask her to the movies or something."

"Perhaps you can take her to a sock hop or over to the five and dime for some milkshakes," joked Jasper as Emmett glared at him angrily. Jasper raised his hands in defeat before finally hoping in his old Silverado and headed home, no doubt to do some investigation into Alice's whereabouts for the day.

"You are still going tomorrow right?" asked Emmett curiously as he opened the door to his Jeep and hopped in.

"Yeah, I'm going." _I need to make sure Newton keeps his fucking hands off of Bella._ Emmett nodded his head at me before turning the Jeep on and waving goodbye. I sat in my car for the longest time, listening to my radio which only got one fucking station, before finally heading home.

The next morning, when I pulled into the parking lot at Lake Olympia, I was surprised to see how many people had already arrived. It was past eleven and I could see Jasper and Emmett throwing the football down on the beach, but there was no big red truck. I wondered briefly if Bella had lied to Newton just to get him to leave her alone, but that was definitely not her style. She was too sweet and honest for that shit. When we were in middle school, I remembered Angela Weber once dropping a dollar bill on the ground and while most of our classmates would have pocketed that shit and bought themselves some candy, Bella ran after her and gave it back as quick as she could.

A little while later, after I had completely situated myself on the beach with my friends and was getting ready to go swimming, in pulled Rosalie's monstrosity with Kenny Chesney pouring from the speakers. I could practically hear Emmett and Jasper cringe as Eric, Tyler and Mike headed over to help the girls with their things. I decided to head over to the keg, which Jessica's older brother oh so generously got for the event, and help myself to a cup of beer, which I chugged in one shot as I watched Bella from the corner of my eye.

When I finally got up the balls to head back to the beach, the girls had taken residence a few feet from where Jasper was lying in the sand and as Newton tripped over Jasper's feet, I felt like dropping to my knees and praying to the gods. Bella stood there and pulled her small t-shirt and white shorts off to reveal the sexiest blue bikini I had ever seen. _Fuck_. I stared for a moment, clearly catching her attention before finally grabbing my towel and stalking back up to my car. I spent ten minutes in the Volvo trying to will my cock to relax before Jasper strolled up and sat in the passenger seat.

"I'm guessing you like Bella huh?" he asked as I nodded reluctantly. "Are you going to do anything about it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Simple Jazz, Bella is not the girl you fuck around with. She's the girl you bring home to mom. She's the girl you spend weeks planning the perfect proposal for. She's the girl who stays home with the kids and makes muffins for bake sales," I stated emphatically as he groaned at me. Yeah, I had thought long and hard about this decision and I knew no matter what happened, I had to keep my distance from her. I didn't even want to think about becoming friends with her because then I would fall for her more because she was probably sweeter and sexier than I ever imagined.

"You're a fucking idiot."

"Thanks asshole."

"No, seriously. You don't want to be with her because she's a nice girl? Grow a fucking brain and stop thinking with your dick," he grumbled as I ran my hand through my hair.

"Yeah, she's a nice girl and I'm not exactly a nice guy. I don't want to fall for her and then all of a sudden the sun rises and falls in her eyes and I completely forget the dreams I have to get the fuck out of this shithole known as Forks," I explained as Jasper cocked an eye brow at me and groaned.

"Don't you think Bella wants more than Forks has to offer? Why can't you guys do that shit together?" he asked curiously.

"It's not even a consideration. I'm not staying around after graduation Jazz, so what's the point of falling in love?" I retorted as he looked at me with a big smile.

"You should stop arguing with yourself. If you could see the way you looked at her fifteen minutes ago, you'd realize you already loved her. Probably have since like the second grade when she let your borrow her magic markers that smelled like candy." Jasper hopped out of the car and headed towards the beach as I threw my head against the steering wheel, completely fucking confused about what to do.

I ended up growing a pair and headed back down to the beach to play football with Emmett, Jasper and a few other guys from the team. The girls were now sunbathing; their barely covered asses high in the air and Jasper couldn't take his eyes off of Alice, as she laid there talking animatedly to her friends. I watched with interest as he attempted to go over to talk to her, only to have Marcus wander over first and start chatting her up. Jasper looked pissed and I couldn't help but laugh at the irony of it all.

The rest of the afternoon was spent doing my best to avoid Bella at all costs. Unfortunately for me, she looked like she had enough admirers that she probably wouldn't have noticed if I had ran down the beach on fire and asked her to piss on me. Emmett and I gathered some of the guys from the team to start a huge bonfire and just after dusk, I couldn't help but notice seeing Bella sitting alone on a log off to the side of the fire, in her t-shirt, shorts and wrapped in a blanket.

I could go say hi. I could apologize for being a dick all week and never talking to her. I could see if she would completely object to letting me fuck her until the school year was over and I got the fuck out of dodge. I finally got up my nerve, with the help of the rest of my cup of beer and wandered over, sitting right beside her on the log. I wanted to reach and move her hair behind her ear but she looked at me with complete shock in her eyes for even attempting to sit beside and then, to make matters even worse, Newton had to appear.

"Here's your beer Bella," he said, almost sounding possessive as she reached out her small hand and took it from him. "Care to join me for a walk?"

Bella looked directly at me and the look in her eyes was almost one of conflict, as though she wanted to stay but _had_ to go. She nodded her head at Mike and when he reached out his hand, she seemed to take it reluctantly. _What the fuck? This girl was throwing out more mixed signals than a retarded catcher at a baseball game._

"I'm out," I sighed to Jasper and Emmett a few minutes later when I found them talking to a couple of the cheerleaders, but watching Rosalie and Alice. The girls were still talking to Eric and Tyler, who seemed to have latched on to Rosalie like a fucking barnacle. She didn't seem overly impressed, but I did catch her watching Emmett, which I think was spurring on her flirty reactions to Tyler.

"Why?" quizzed Jasper as I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I tried not thinking with my dick and got shut down." Jasper looked over my shoulder and saw Bella wandering away with Newton. "Make sure nothing happens to her, or I'll be forced to kill him and make it look like an accident." Emmett looked at me confused, which was the usual with him and I headed back up to the parking lot to get into my car.

"Leaving so soon Edward?" I heard Jessica's shrill voice ask as I opened my door and was about to get in. She was stumbling towards the car, her small red plastic cup in her hand was over flowing with beer and she kept spilling it all over the ground.

"Yeah. Family emergency or some shit like that," I lied as I felt Jessica's drunken hand move up my arm in a very pathetic excuse for flirting and immediately jumped in my car, slamming the door behind me. I had fuck buddies, but there was no way Jessica Stanley was going to be one. As I drove down the road towards my parents' house, I tried to call all my usual suspects in an attempt to assist with the Bella fueled hard on I was currently suffering through, with no luck. _Fucking long weekends._

I ended up running up the stairs to the bathroom and jacking off to the repeated image of Bella pulling off her t-shirt and shorts to reveal her baby blue ruffled bikini. That thing was going to be the death of me… and my cock.


	3. My School Daze

**A/N: So, a Tornado took out the campground I was supposed to be at this weekend, so now I am home. I figured, I'm just chilling, why not post Chapter 3 for my lovely readers. I'm working on American Boy and the Epilogue for Love Will Come Through. I am sure I will get one of them posted this weekend as well.**

**Thanks for all the awesome reviews and support. I love the 153 of you who put this bad boy on alert. You folks rock!**

**I don't own Twilight, but I do know it's like 90 days till New Moon is in the theatres.**

**BPOV**

I was a bit nervous when we finally headed back to school after Labor Day weekend. Mike had begun to show an overly enthusiastic interest in me that culminated with him trying to eat my face off when we went for a walk on the beach during Lauren and Jessica's party. I awkwardly kissed him, pulling away when he tried to shove his tongue down my throat because even though I had kissed guys before, I wasn't anywhere near ready for that with Mike Newton.

It didn't help matters that the entire time I was with Mike, I was thinking about Edward. I couldn't get him out of my mind. Why had he sat down beside me? Why didn't he say anything? And most confusing of all, why did he look disappointed when I left for my walk with Mike. The entire time Mike talked about the homecoming dance, I prayed that he wouldn't ask me to go with him. Thankfully, just as I thought he was about to ask, Alice came skipping over and let me know that they were heading home. Mike had offered to give me a ride home, hoping that I would stay with him at the party, but I made up some lame ass excuse about my dad and he relented easily.

"Why the hell did you let Mike kiss you? Edward didn't even see it," cursed Rosalie once we got into the truck and were preparing to pull away from the parking lot. "You could have at least timed it so that he would get be watching and then get jealous and shit."

"Where did Edward go anyways?" I asked curiously and trying to casual while deflecting Rosalie and Alice's interest in the kiss I shared with Mike.

"I dunno… I think he left when you walked away with Mike. Which, by the way, was priceless. I thought Edward's head was going to pop off," added Rose as I ran my palms down my face in confusion. The more I thought about it, the more I found myself coming unhinged because of Edward Cullen. If he wanted me, he was throwing out completely wrong signals. Then again, if he hated me, he wasn't showing that either. I had no idea what to make of him these days. Perhaps he was skipping doses of his Colzapine.

"Did you see the way Emmett was looking at you when we were leaving?"

"Yeah, I noticed. Unfortunately for him, my new plan is for him to look but not touch. I need to play it really cold with him, increase his interest ya know? Guys only want what they can't have," stated Rosalie as she turned on the truck and turned down the volume. "You should do that with Edward. Pretend he doesn't exist."

"That should be easy enough," I said with a reluctant sigh. "He doesn't know I exist."

"So, what's the plan for Monday?" asked Alice with a wide grin as she noticed Jasper getting into his truck a few spots over from us. I looked over and quickly noticed he couldn't take his eyes off of her. It was good to know that someone's plans were falling into place.

"The plan is to dress to impress. We'll head to Bella's early on Tuesday morning for our usual routine and I will pick the clothes this time," said Rosalie confidently.

This brought us to today. We were just hopping out of Rosalie's red truck in the parking lot of the school when Mike made his way over to help me step down from the monstrosity. "Thanks," I muttered quietly as he then walked with the three of us towards the front door of the school. Rosalie had finally listened to me when I bitched about clothing and she let me wear a pair of jeans, although they were skin tight and a really cute red plaid top, so I was feeling a little less self conscious.

"Morning Rosalie," sang Emmett from his perch beside the front door. As expected, Rose completely ignored him and when I glanced back to see Em's reaction, he was throwing his hands up in the air and complaining to Edward and Jasper who were standing alongside of him.

"I think it's working," I muttered to her as we stopped in front of our lockers and Mike, my new lapdog started talking about the football game the following week. I was never a fan of the sport, although I will admit to watching more than a few Seahawks games with Charlie on a lazy Sunday afternoon while trying to do some homework or reading a book.

"Of course it's working Bella. Emmett won't know what hit him," said Rosalie as Mike looked at her in both confusion and anger for interrupting his conversation about the new field goal posts the school had installed over the summer. Thankfully the first bell rang signaling the start of class, so we all disappeared to our classes, Alice and I following Jasper as we headed off to Spanish.

The rest of the school day went by painstakingly slow. Calculus kicked my ass, as per usual, and I was more than a little relieved when lunch came along. However, finding Japer flirting unabashedly with Alice at our table was a little bit of a downer. She made basically no effort and yet Jasper was falling all over her. To say I was envious was probably an understatement.

I went up to stand in line, waiting eagerly to grab a piece of pizza and some salad. When I got to the front though, Edna, the lovely lunch lady, informed me that they were out of pizza. I seriously considered going postal on someone and by someone I meant Mr. Banner who kept me late after class to discuss me possible volunteering to work on the upcoming homecoming dance since Student Council had yet to be elected for the year.

"You can take mine," I heard a smooth voice say as I looked around and noticed Edward a few feet away, holding the last piece of pizza.

"Umm… no, that's fine. I'll just have salad."

"No really, I'm not that hungry after all," he added as I looked at him anxiously. I didn't know what to make of him. Edward barely acknowledged my existence and now he was suddenly offering me his lunch.

"No thank you," I finally said as I grabbed the salad that was offered, paid my two bucks and headed over to the table where Alice was now giggling incessantly.

I did my best to ignore her as I poured some thousand island dressing on my leafy greens and watched Edward from the corner of my eye. He sat at the table with several of the other football players and picked aimlessly at his food, not even paying attention to anything happening around him. At one point I even caught Emmett smacking him on the arm to try to get him to join their conversation, but Edward eventually just left the cafeteria in a huff as I watched Jessica Stanley follow behind him eagerly.

"Did you hear me Bella?" asked Alice, her giggles finally subsiding.

"Umm… no. What did you say?" I replied as my stomach churned at the thought of Edward with Jessica.

"I said Jasper asked me to a movie on Friday night. You don't mind if we push back our movie night to Saturday do you?" she inquired as I nodded my head easily. Alice and I had a standing Friday night movie night ever since the fourth grade when I was out of school for a bit. She would come over, curl up in bed with me and we would watch the most asinine movies known to man. This week's choice was 'Just Friends' with Ryan Reynolds, which we had seen ten times already, but was totally worth it for the comedic genius of Anna Faris and Ryan singing in the fat suit.

"It's okay," I said stoically as she looked at me questioningly.

"Forgiveness… is more than saying sorry. To forgive is divine. So let's have a glass of wine. And have make-up sex until the end of time, time, time, time, timmmmmeee. Time," sang Alice, quoting word for word from the movie, as she smiled cheerfully at me and I rolled my eyes.

"Alice, I don't mind at all. I can use the time to catch up on my calculus, which I already envision myself failing miserably this year," I said with a laugh as she reached over and gave me a gentle hug.

Rosalie showed up a few minutes later with Tyler following right behind her, a huge smile on his face. He went to sit at the table with the other football players, taking Edward's seat and earning an angry glare from Emmett. "Where have you been hussy?" asked Alice with a loud laugh.

"For your information, I was helping Tyler fix his car. In turn, he has agreed to help me make Emmett jealous. It seems young Tyler has a thing for Lauren and was cozying up to me to make her jealous. Funny isn't it? So we have agreed to join forces in an effort to get what we want," stated Rosalie confidently as she grabbed a cherry tomato out of my salad and quickly popped it into her mouth.

"I don't get why we are going through all this trouble?" I said emphatically as Rosalie raised her eye brow in confusion at me. "Look at Alice. She did virtually nothing, with the exception of talking to him, and now she and Jasper have a date."

"You have a date? That's wonderful Alice," gushed Rosalie for a moment before turning her gaze back to Emmett, who was talking animatedly with a few of the guys.

"Emmett is not the kind of guy who you just talk to and he falls at your feet. It takes methodical planning, some subtle flirting and sexual innuendo to land a guy like him. I could have him in seconds if I went over there and whispered into his ear that I wanted to suck his cock, but where's the fun in that?" Rose added with a laugh as I smacked myself on the forehead.

"So this is all a game to you?" I asked as she sighed slightly.

"Not all of it Bella. It's just how Emmett and I work. I know we're meant to be together, but he's got to work for it," she said with a low laugh as I groaned slightly and went back to my salad, trying to ignore the fact that Rosalie was trying to make Emmett implode.

I sat for the rest of the lunch hour wondering how the hell the three of us could be so different, yet so similar. Rosalie, Alice and I all lusted after three boys, but whereas Alice was forthright and admitted her attraction, Rosalie was more aloof about everything. I on the other hand was completely quiet and never once made me feelings known, either verbally or otherwise. _I'm gonna be a virgin till I'm 30._

When I walked into my last class of the day, Edward was sitting in his usual seat, scanning through the textbook we were still forced to share. I wanted to talk to him and thank him for offering me his pizza earlier in the day, but when I saw the dark purple hickey on the side of his neck, I instantly wanted to vomit. How the fuck he could touch Jessica Stanley, let alone allow her put his lips on him was beyond comprehension to me. Unfortunately, just as I gathered up the courage to grab my bag and run out of the room, Mrs. Jameson showed up and was excited about the lesson plan for the day. I slumped down in my seat and didn't even look at the text book as we began talking about the male and female reproductive organs.

"Isabella, is there a reason you are not following along with Edward?" Mrs. Jameson asked about fifteen minutes into her lecture, when she noticed I wasn't paying attention. Even Edward had tried to push the book closer to me and I just ignored him.

"I'm actually not feeling that well," I lied as she cocked her eye brow at me curiously.

"Are you menstruating? Because I was about to cover that topic next," she said cheerfully as I suddenly wished the world would implode. I shook my head violently from side to side and she just nodded her head and opted to pretend I wasn't even in the class for the rest of the day. I was completely mortified to be sitting beside Edward while my teacher asked if I was riding the crimson wave. _Lovely._

When I finally got home from school, all I wanted to do was lie down and take a nap. Unfortunately for me, when I got there Charlie was already home from his shift at the station. "Hey Bells," he called out as I walked in the door and threw my book bag down on the kitchen table.

"Hey Dad," I said as I moved into the living room and found him lounging in his favorite beat up recliner. My father had saved up his pennies last year and bought himself a big ass flat screen TV, but he still lived in the rickety old dirt brown recliner that was handed down from his parents almost 20 years ago. When I mentioned him getting a new one, he muttered something about how he had perfected his ass groove and I chose to ignore going into further detail with him for my own sanity. "How was life at the station today? Catch any peeping toms or flashers?"

"Do you know something I don't know Bella? Are there sexual deviants in Forks?" he asked, his voice brimming with fatherly concern. I was certain if we were at the station he would pull some bad cop shit on me, force me into a chair in an interview room (aka the Forks Police Station Lunch Room) and shine a light on me in an attempt to interrogate me. "Do I need to send some officers to the school to keep an eye on you?"

"Oh, I'm sure there are some sexual deviants dad, they just keep that shit in their own home. Please do not send of your three officers to the school unless something actually happens," I said with a giggle as he frowned at me slightly for cursing. "Sorry. I'm gonna go make some dinner."

"Don't do anything fancy Bells, I had a late lunch down at the station," he called out to me as I opened up the fridge and scanned for something decent to make for dinner. I ended up deciding on simply making us tacos, which we ate in front of the TV while Charlie continued to pepper me with questions about the sexual deviants in Forks. He then went into a long winded discussion with me about the birds and the bees, which made me want to run and hide. I didn't have the heart to tell him I already learned everything I needed to know from Rosalie, who found out from one of her brother's old 1980's porn's on VHS. Remind me to never be sarcastic around him again.

**EPOV**

When I got home that Saturday night, I sat outside on the picnic table in the backyard of my parent's modest house and grew frustrated with myself for not talking to her. For a guy who was supposedly in love with the girl, I certainly had no fucking balls where she was concerned. When Mike offered her the cup of beer and suggested they go for a walk, part of me wanted to punch his fucking face in and grab her hand, running away into the nearby woods to ravish her.

The more sane part of my mind said to ask her for a few minutes to talk. Of course, neither parts of my brain agreed so I sat there like a bump on a log, literally and watched as she walked away with him.

When Tuesday morning rolled around and it was time to go back to school, I was dreading it. I met Jazz and Emmett in the parking lot and we talked for a few minutes about the NASCAR race on Sunday before Jazz broke into one of his oft used Talladega Nights quotes.

"Hey, Emmett, I just wanted to share a piece of personal information with you. I've got a...a chubby right now because THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST AWESOME EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE!! I'M GETTIN' TO DRIVE A RACECAR. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT OH MY GOD!!!" gushed Jasper as both Emmett and I punched him on the shoulder at the same time in annoyance. It had been years since the movie had come out in the theatre, but Jazz still watched it on DVD on a weekly basis and then spent every waking moment quoting it.

"Shut up man," I uttered as we walked towards the front door of the main building, lounging around for a moment as Rosalie's big red pickup pulled into the parking lot with Alice and Bella inside. I cringed as I notice Newton run up to the truck and help Bella out. Had they gotten that close since Saturday?

"Morning Rosalie," said Emmett sweetly as he watched her walk along with her friends, all of whom were ignoring Mike. It gave me a small bit of hope, which only lasted a moment because when we walked into the school, he was standing beside Bella at her locker, laughing happily and touching her shoulder like they were more intimate than they should be. I groaned and said a quick goodbye to Jazz and Emmett as the first bell of the day rang.

When I finally got into the cafeteria for lunch, I was happy as fuck to find out I managed to get the last piece of pizza. I mean, the café food sucked on a good day, but the pizza was really the only thing I could stomach. As I waited in line, I clearly heard Bella behind me bitching to Edna, the lunch lady, about there being none left.

"You can take mine," I found myself offering without a second thought. Sure, I would probably go without lunch because there was no way I was eating anything else they offered, but it would be worth it to make her smile.

"Umm… no, that's fine. I'll just have salad."

"No really, I'm not that hungry after all," I added as Bella looked at me with one raised eye brow. Before I could make another gesture and insist that she have it, she moved to turn away from me.

"No thank you," she added as she turned her back to me and grabbed a plate of salad. I tossed my money down on the counter and stepped away feeling very indignant. I tried being a gentleman with her and she treated me like shit she scraped up from her shoe. When I walked back to our usual table, Jasper and Emmett were waiting for me.

"Did you strike out? Perhaps if you didn't ask her to service your manhood you might get somewhere," laughed Jasper as I held back the desire to shove his face against the table repeatedly. I began picking at the pizza in front of me and trying to ignore my friends as best as I could.

"Yeah, that's what I did Jazz. I asked her to suck my dick in the middle of the lunch line," I said sarcastically. "She wanted pizza and I took the last piece, so I offered it to her. She brutally rebuffed me though," I said as I glanced over at her table and saw her munching away at her salad.

"You like Bella dude?" asked Emmett, his eyes wide with surprise. "Okay, this is just too much. We each like one of the girls. It's like some fricking lame ass soap opera or reality show."

"It doesn't matter if I like her or not Em. I'm not going to do anything about it. I'm not staying anywhere near Forks when school lets out in June and Bella… well Bella would totally be a hitch in my plans," I stated emphatically, although I sounded like I was trying to convince myself more than I was trying to convince him. "I don't want to go to college simply because I want to stay with my girlfriend and I'm not even sure if I want to go to college. A girlfriend right now, any girlfriend, would just complicate my life."

"Whatever dude. You do realize if you don't jump all over that than Newton is gonna get first dibs. Prick couldn't stop talking about her during Gym and I wasn't even listening to him," sighed Emmett as he started to ramble on about our upcoming football practice and I did my best to tune him out. After ten minutes of listening to him discussing plays and formations, I grabbed my book bag and left the café, desperate to be away from everything. I had been watching Bella out of the corner of my eye, talking happily to Alice, completely oblivious to the fact that she practically crushed my will to live in the lunch line.

I was rounding the corner by the library when I heard some heavy feet close behind me. "Jessica, what are you doing?" I asked as she came up behind me, grabbing my shirt and forcing me to turn around.

"You look stressed Edward," she purred awkwardly to me as I suddenly realized she had me pinned up against the door of the janitor's closet. "I can help you relieve that stress you know."

I fought back the urge to vomit all over her as her hand moved up along the seam of my jeans, awakening my cock from its peaceful slumber. Suddenly, my dick had a mind of its own and it was taking over my voice box. "What did you have in mind?"

Without warning, I was suddenly shoved inside the janitor's closet and Jessica was tugging off my jeans to access my hard dick. Her small hand wrapped around me as her lips found purchase against my neck and she began sucking my skin for dear life. It wasn't erotic at all, but I had to admit that the moment I began to fantasize that it was Bella getting me off, the process began to move along smoothly.

I let out a low groan as I neared my climax and Jessica seemed spurred on by my sounds. "Oh yeah Edward, let me take care of you," she muttered as I suddenly wished she was giving me a blow job so I wouldn't have to hear her talk to me. I nodded my head reluctantly as I reached up and grabbed her tits a few times, before finally coming in her hand with a hard grunt.

The breasts were definitely lopsided by the way.

I thanked her with an awkward kiss before making my way to the boys' bathroom to clean up a bit. As I was washing my hands, Newton strolled in, his face practically glowing in excitement. "Nice hickey dude," he said to me as he walked up to one of the urinals and began doing his business. "Bella has certainly developed over the summer huh?"

I grimaced as he spoke and began running through several violent scenarios in my head, all of which involved him never EVER touching Bella again. "Um, sure."

"You can't tell me you didn't notice her in her tiny blue bikini at the beach on Saturday. Fuck, the things I want to do to that girl," he muttered as I finished washing my hands and tilted my head to the side to check out the hickey Jessica had left. Five minutes in the closet with her, one half assed orgasm and I was already regretting it.

"She looked good," I replied as I turned and left the room, not really eager to continue talking with him about Bella. It was probably best for the both of us if I left, because if he continued talking, I knew there was no way I could be blamed for what I would do next.

When I got to health class late in the day, I was a little bit early. I waited patiently, hoping Bella would come in soon and I could talk to her for a few minutes before the rest of our class got there. However, when she did finally step in and took her seat, she looked… disappointed almost. I couldn't quite read her expression, but it was clear she wasn't happy. She grabbed her book bag and moved to get up from her seat when Mrs. Jameson came in and started her lecture about the reproductive organs. _Perfect._

As we started going through the textbook, I couldn't help but notice that Bella was slumped down in her seat, her arms crossed against her chest and she never once looked at the book when I offered it to her. I tried to listen as much as I could to Mrs. Jameson discussing the uterus but after ten minutes of basically watching Bella pout, it was getting to be a bit too much.

"Isabella, is there a reason you aren't following along with Edward?" Mrs. Jameson asked when she noticed Bella wasn't paying attention or following along to the material we were studying.

"I'm actually not feeling that well," she claimed as I looked over at her once more and finally caught her eye. She was pissed.

"Are you menstruating? Because I was about to cover that topic next," said Mrs. Jameson as all the guys in the class groaned and Bella began shaking her head side to side as fast as she could. I felt embarrassed for her as Mrs. Jameson just shrugged her shoulders and continued on with the lecture, avoiding Bella altogether. I couldn't help but find myself wondering if she actually wasn't feeling good or just angry about something in particular. I watched Bella out of the corner of my eye for the rest of the class, but she bolted as soon as the bell rang and I never got a chance to talk to her.

When I finally left for the day, I was somewhat relieved to be done with the day from hell. I was even more confused about Bella than I had been when I woke up this morning. My mother, Esme, had gone down to San Francisco for a few days on a conference. She worked as a nurse in my father's private practice that he operated out of a few rooms at the back of our house. Everyone in town visited my father since there weren't that many doctors in town, so needless to say, everyone knew where I lived, which kinda sucked.

Just after six my father called me down from my room for dinner and I was pleased to find out he had ordered us a pizza from Gino's since I never ate mine earlier in the day. As we sat on the couch watching a gay couple lose miserably on 'Cash Cab' I decided to quiz my father about Bella's family.

"Do you know the Swan Family?" I asked as I took a huge bite of the supreme pizza he gotten for us.

"Chief Swan's family? Sure, he's a great man," said my father casually. "The daughter Bella is kinda quiet and Charlie has had some tough times since Renee left many several years ago. They had a rough go of it for a while but they are a very strong and close knit pair. I kinda envy how close they are," said my father as I caught him staring at me, his words obviously meant for me and the distance in our relationship.

"His wife left them?" I asked nervously as my father grabbed a napkin from the table and wiped his mouth gently.

"Yeah, back when you guys were in the fourth grade. He's done a good job adjusting with everything though and his world revolves around Bella," he said with a nervous pause. "Isn't she in your class?"

"We're taking health together. She sits beside me."

"Might I inquire as to why you are interested in her family? I mean, you've known the girl since kindergarten and you've never once asked me about her or her family," said my dad as he took a sip from his beer and waited patiently for me to answer.

"Just curious I suppose," I lied as I turned my focus back to the television show and my pizza. As much as I was dying to know as much as I could about Bella's family and what happened back in the fourth grade, I wasn't up to getting into an in depth discussion with my father about it. He was far too curious for his own good and I would no doubt end up confessing how I had been secretly harboring feelings for Bella since we were nine years old.

I definitely didn't need that shit today.


	4. My Party Disaster

**A/N: Okay, so I am so overwhelmed by the intial response to this little bastard child of mine. I promise you that even though this is a high school based story it is more than your usual fluffy shit and that makes me as giddy as Jasper while watching Talladega Nights. I hope you are all enjoying the ride so far. Can you believe I let Edward and Bella talk in this chapter? How dare you CPW? LOL**

**As usual, thanks to my beta MaggieMay14 for making my shit ten times better than I ever could. She would probably drink me under the table in a game of Kings, and to flightlessbird11 who told me to just post this baby already.**

**I don't own twilight, nor do I own the little yorkie poo currenly perched beside my feet and farting up a storm, while sleeping no less. Who knew tiny dogs could smell so bad?!?**

**BPOV**

"Just wear it Bella," chided Rosalie angrily as she tossed me a fucking tiara and insisted I wear it for the day. Today was September thirteenth. Two weeks since the end of summer beach party and my eighteenth birthday. I have been dreading today like the fucking plague because Rosalie's parents were out of town and she was throwing me an invitation only birthday party, with their permission of course. Then again, she did lie and say it was only going to be about ten girls from school attending. She also fed this line of crap to Charlie when she got him to agree to me sleeping over at her place that tonight.

"Bella, I didn't waste fifteen bucks of my hard earned babysitting money to have these babies drawn up at Kinko's for no reason," said Alice as I reluctantly pulled on the skin tight jeans and black tank top they had given me to wear for the day.

"Fine. But I want it noted that I am completely against this," I replied as I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and Alice fastened the tiara with a few bobby pins. I was going to have a raging headache by lunchtime.

By the time lunch did roll around, not only did I have a migraine but I was also tired of people asking me why the hell I was wearing a silver plastic tiara. Senorita Marquez tried to get me to remove it in first period Spanish, but there were so many bobby pins and it was taking so long, she ended up giving up as Alice and Jasper laughed at my expense. "Okay, let's get this bitch rolling," laughed Alice as she handed Rosalie the invitations and we watched as she suddenly stood on the table we were sitting at and whistled loudly, calling the entire cafeteria to her attention.

"Listen up. Today is the birthday of one of my best friends in the entire world, Bella," shouted Rosalie as a few of the nearby guys started clapping madly and Rosalie sliced her hand across the air, telling them to shut the fuck up. "Tonight, at my house there will be a very special, by invitation only, party. If you get an invitation, it's only for you. Don't bring a guest. Don't bring a gift; all details are on the invites. Any questions? No… good," she yelled out rudely, not even giving people the chance to actually ask anything.

Rosalie effortlessly hopped down from the table and with Alice by her side, began handing out the invitations. I knew that Rosalie and Alice only had 50 created and there was like 80 people in our senior class, so I felt kind of bad for those that weren't invited but I had no say in the matter. I did however; snicker gently as they passed by Lauren and Jessica, giving them both rude glances in the process.

The 'gonorrhea twins' as we had taken to calling them had not been friendly to us at all during high school. When Alice had braces, they teased her. When Rosalie was flat, they called her a boy and when I was subjected to wearing glasses for a little while after I lost my contacts, they took turns calling me names as well. They were due their comeuppance and now that we had wormed our way into the Forks High Elite, as Rosalie like to call it, they were slowly being edged out. Of course becoming one of the popular girls at school was something I didn't strive for, although it seemed to be happening anyways.

I couldn't help but look over at the table where most of the football players sat as Rosalie slowly ambled over there with the now tiny stack of invites. She handed one to Mike, then Tyler and Eric, who I think was actually just the equipment manager, but he was nice enough to us at the beach to warrant an invite. She had three left and I couldn't stop the snicker that left my mouth as she handed the last three invites to Jasper, Emmett and finally Edward, who seemed to breathe a sigh of relief at getting invited. It was Alice's bright idea to give him his invitation for last for being such an ass to me lately.

During the past week, Edward didn't try to talk to me again, so I gave him the cold shoulder and completely shut him out. I felt bad about rejecting him so harshly when he offered me the pizza, but I gave up wanting to apologize the moment I saw the huge hickey on his neck, which was put there by none other than Jessica Stanley. I overheard her in the girls' room one day gushing about how she was certain she would be dating Edward by homecoming and I hoped and prayed that he wasn't stupid enough to fall for her pathetic manipulative ways.

Edward and I never even looked at each other in health class anymore and he seemed genuinely relieved when the replacement textbooks arrived and I finally got my own copy. Even today as Rosalie and Alice paraded me around in a fucking tiara, he never looked at me, until we got to final period.

"Thanks for the invite," he said casually as he waved the small piece of paper in front of himself in the air.

"Thank Rosalie. She made the list."

"Oh," he said sounding slightly disappointed. "Well, I'm not sure I can make it. Kinda short notice don't you think?"

"Once again, not my doing. Complain to Rosalie. It doesn't' matter if you show up or not Edward, the party will go on with or without you," I retorted angrily as Newton came over and leaned over the edge of my desk, gushing about how he was planning to come and was really excited to be invited.

"I hope you will save me a dance," said Mike as I pretended to be interested in what he was saying and I heard Edward muttering swear words behind me as he opened up his textbook. Mrs. Jameson came in moments later and forced Mike back to his seat, which left me extremely relieved. I couldn't wait for the day to be over and that included the party.

Unfortunately for me, Edward had to slip me a note just as Mrs. Jameson was discussing an upcoming project she would be forcing upon us having to do with sexually transmitted diseases.

_Do you not want me to come to the party?_

How the fuck was I supposed to respond to that? No, I want you to come to the party and then I want you to ravish me upstairs in the guest bedroom as I scream your name over and over again. Hmm… not even an option.

_It would be nice if you came to the party._

I watched with interest as Edward read the note and then began scribbling something in response to me. I never got the chance to see what he had written before Mrs. Jameson wandered over to our table and distracted us.

"Bella… you and Edward will get Chlamydia," she said with a smile as my eyes grew wide.

"Umm… excuse me?" I asked rudely as she looked and me with one raised eye brow.

"For the project we are doing on sexually transmitted diseases Bella. You and Edward are partners and your disease will be Chlamydia. Its due in two weeks, so please no slacking guys," said Mrs. Jameson as she turned back to the class and began handing out assignments to the other students. Newton and his partner Eric got Pubic Lice and I couldn't help the giggle that escaped when she announced their disease.

"I guess we'll need to make some sort of arrangements to get together," said Edward casually as he balled up the note he was writing and tossed in the trash can behind us. My eyes glanced down at it quickly before he coughed; reminding me he had actually spoken to me.

"Umm… yeah. How about Monday after class?"

"Sounds fine," said Edward with a slight smile as Mrs. Jameson called us back to order and we began a rousing discussion about sexually STD's. Of course all I could think about by this stage was that I had to work together with Edward on a project and we would no doubt be alone. I wanted to soak my panties and puke my guts out all in the same breath.

When class let out, I moved slowly as I packed my book bag and once everyone was out of the room, I eagerly retrieved the crumpled up note from the garbage can. I smoothed it out on the top of my desk and gasped slightly when I read his words.

_I would love to come with you_

Fuck. Me.

"Belllaaaa… " shouted Alice as I walked out of the building and found her in the driver's seat of Rosalie's truck singing 'Man I Feel Like a Woman' by Shania Twain. "Let's go honey; we need to slut you up for tonight." I looked around the parking lot and couldn't help but notice Mike, Edward, Jasper and Tyler standing off to the side, staring at me in complete surprise and I was instantly mortified.

"Fuck off Brandon," I shouted to her as I channeled my inner confidence and casually hopped in the back seat of the truck. As I was getting comfortable, I noticed that Rosalie had finally showed up and was yelling profanities at Alice for even stepping near her truck without her. "Can we get this night over with?"

"Bella, you should be a little more excited. When I handed Edward his invitation today, he looked relived to be invited, almost happy even. I haven't seen that dick happy all fucking semester," explained Rosalie as I groaned and threw my head against the front seat head rest.

"I'm not sure if he's even coming. He told me today in class that it was too short of notice for him. Then Mrs. Jameson tossed us into a project together about STD's," I said with a sigh. I knew full well that the entire reason for this party was for me to get drunk and make a play for Edward. I wasn't against the idea in theory, but knew I would have Mike all over me for the night, which I wasn't looking forward to. "I'm getting so many mixed signals; I feel I'm lusting over a broken traffic light."

"Who gives a shit? Let's have a good time regardless of what Cullen is or isn't doing," stated Alice firmly as I took one more look across the parking lot and noticed Edward with his hand on the roof of his car, staring at us. "If Edward decides not to show up, don't let your night be ruined. There's other fish in the sea Bella. Let's reel in one, what do you say?"

"Stop with the fishing analogies and you got a deal. You sound like my fucking father."

Five hours later and after sitting for way too long in a chair in front of Rosalie's mirror getting my hair straightened, I was finally ready. "Last touch," said Alice with a grin as she put that damned tiara back on my head.

"I thought I didn't need to dress up since I was the birthday girl," I asked as I looked Alice over and noticed she was dressed in a short black mini skirt with a white tank top. I looked like a slut and she was covered head to toe in black, how is this fair?

"Sorry Bells. I lied," scoffed Alice as she looked in the mirror and primped her hair a little bit so that it was perfect. She then began tugging her skirt up a little bit, which was the complete opposite of me who was busy pulling my skirt down to make sure my underwear didn't show at all. "It's your birthday, but it's not like I made you dress like a whore or anything. Edward won't be able to resist you."

"Great," I sighed as I looked outside the front window and noticed that some cars were finally pulling into Rosalie's driveway. "Let the games begin."

Rosalie was downstairs in short and tight red dress letting people into the house. When I finally wandered down into the great room, there were about fifteen people gathered around, already enjoying the mass quantities of booze that Rosalie painstakingly laid out in the kitchen.

"Hey… there's the birthday girl," called out Mike as he strolled across the room and I noticed he was wearing the same clothes from earlier in the day. Thanks for making an effort, I scoffed to myself as he wandered closer and offered up a very strained hug. "You look sexy as hell Bella."

"Umm… thanks."

"Stop staring at her tits. You haven't even wished her a happy birthday yet," laughed Alice as she handed me a drink and gripped my elbow tightly, leading me away from Mike as quickly as she could.

Half an hour later, almost all the guests had arrived, including Emmett and Jasper, who was glued to Alice's side most of the time. When he wasn't right beside her or holding her hand sweetly, he was staring at her longingly from across the room. "Did you and Jazz already sleep together?" I asked Alice with morbid curiosity as we stepped onto the porch of Rosalie's house to get some fresh air.

"No. Hell, we haven't even rounded second base yet. We had one date, that was it," she said with a laugh as she pulled out a flask from the pocket of her skirt and handed it to me. "Consider it your birthday gift; just don't do anything stupid like fuck Newton."

"Tell me oh wise one, what the hell did you do to make Jasper so crazy for you?" I asked anxiously as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder and I flipped open the flask eagerly.

"Would you believe I have done nothing? I was honest with him and told him I liked him and that was it. I swear," she said with a grin as I nudged her shoulder gently. "I just lucked out because apparently he's been a little smitten with me for a while and never had the balls to do anything."

"All that wasted time," I said quietly as she nodded her head.

"I know! We could be passing home on a thrice weekly basis if it wasn't for our own stupidity," she said with a smile as Jasper showed up at the open door and leaned against the jamb, watching Alice intently.

Emmett showed up at the door and spoke quickly to Jazz, who disappeared back into the house with him. I quickly opened the flask and took a quick swig of the whiskey contained within it. "Did you notice that Forks boys suck? I'm seriously considering heading up to Port Angeles to find a guy Alice. This is ridiculous."

"Edward will come around Bella. I can feel it in my bones."

"That's a calcium deficiency Alice," I replied sarcastically as she leaned forward and kissed my cheek.

"Have faith birthday girl."

**EPOV**

Why I bothered going, I'll never fucking know. When I pulled up to Rosalie's house, Bella and Alice were standing outside on the porch and Bella looked absolutely sinful in a short blue and black plaid skirt, black t-shirt and that mother fucking tiara on her head. The weather was unseasonably warm, so I was sure neither of them was cold even though they were barely dressed. Hell, I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt and I was warm as hell. That could be because of my nerves as well. It probably didn't help that I had spent the last forty minutes combing through the only gift store in all of Forks trying to find something to give Bella for her birthday and I still came away empty handed and feeling like an idiot.

I also felt like a fucking stalker as I sat motionless in my car, watching them talk and share a flask of something. I had finally gathered up my nerve and was about to go join them when I saw them walk back into the house after Rosalie popped her head out the front door and said something to them.

I anxiously stepped out of the car and wandered into Rosalie's place. Her grandparents had a lot of money, but her mother apparently liked to spend it like crazy. At least this was one of the many rumors I had heard through the nurses at my dad's office. I'd never been to her house before but I was surprised at how simple it was. Two story, red brick, porch that wrapped around the front… it was actually pretty nice for Forks.

"Dude, I didn't think you would make it," said Jasper as I strolled in and saw him clutching a red cup filled with beer. I grasped it quickly and pounded it back as he laughed and then headed into the kitchen where all the booze was laid out on the counter. Several of the guests were busy pouring shots and taking them off of Angela Weber's navel. I was shocked; I had no idea that the Reverend Weber's daughter had it in her. I watched as Jasper made both of us some nasty looking concoction using a little bit from each of the bottles of liquor and thrust it towards me. "Liquid courage."

"Thanks," I grumbled as I took a tentative sip and scanned the room for Bella. Unfortunately, I found Emmett instead who was in the living room playing a card game with a few other guys from the football team as Rosalie and Alice looked on. I reluctantly sat down beside Emmett on the couch as Mike began telling everyone the rules to Kings as though we had never played it before.

I opted out of the game, but watched reluctantly as everyone else proceeded to get wasted. It was only half an hour later that Eric was puking in the fake plastic fern in the kitchen and Tyler had broken some vase that was on the living room mantle.

"Fours for whores," called out Emmett drunkenly as I looked at him with one quirked eye brow.

"Weren't you paying attention Debbie?" asked Emmett. Ever since he found out I liked Bella, he had taken to calling me various girls names because he didn't think I had the balls to hook up with her. It was getting old very fast. "When a girl flips over a four, she has to kiss another girl. Rosalie lucked out this time by flipping over the four of spades. Come on Rosie… your adoring public awaits."

Emmett sat back on the couch and draped his arms over the back, as though he was expecting to get a blow job or something. Rosalie motioned to Alice who simply leaned over and opened her mouth slightly to welcome her in. The girls kissed fervently for a few moments and seemed to really get into it amid the gasps and groans of the male contingent in the room. Jasper and Emmett were smiling widest of all though once the girls finally pulled apart.

"That was so fucking hot," yelled out Emmett as he slammed back the rest of his drink and Rosalie stood up, finally noticing the broken vase by the mantle and disappeared angrily. The game continued on and after a few moments, I noticed Alice wink at Jasper and then she moved out on to the porch with him close on her heels.

I was shocked when I walked outside and found them practically humping against the red brick exterior of the house. I coughed loudly to alert them to my presence and Jasper tried to shoo me away. I was sure he was bursting at the seams to be with Alice after her little display of lesbianism we both just witnessed.

"I just want to know if you've seen Bella," I asked awkwardly as Alice pulled back from Jasper and her face lit up like a fucking Christmas tree.

"I think she said she was going to go to Rose's room for a minute, the fuck me boots we forced her to wear were killing her. Upstairs, second room on the left," explained Alice as she suddenly grabbed the back of Jasper's head and pulled him back to her face. I could hear loud slurping noises and shuddered as I walked through the house and up the stairs.

I easily found the door to Rosalie's bedroom and it was open slightly, so I casually pushed it open and walked inside to find Bella sitting at the window seat, staring out into the darkness and not even noticing my arrival. I wracked my brain but I had no good line to start out with so I went simple. "Hi."

"Hey," replied Bella as she turned around to face me for a second before looking back out the window.

"Having a good birthday?" I said stupidly as I closed the door behind me, walking closer to her. She seemed angry or upset, I couldn't tell which, perhaps both. "The party seems fun. I think Angela was about to climb on the dining room table and do a little dance for everyone," I added with a laugh as Bella pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs.

Jesus fuck! Did she not realize what she was wearing? I peeled my eyes from between her legs where I could now see a hint of her sexy white panties and tried to focus on her. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Plus it's hot as Satan's Balls down there. Has Rose never heard of air conditioning?" I replied coolly as she quirked her eye brow curiously at me. "Has no one else wished you a happy birthday?"

"Birthdays are pointless. It's not like this is some major milestone. Sure I can vote, but I can't drink legally and I can already drive," she muttered as I sat down on the floor, my back against the edge of the window seat she was sitting on. Other than sitting beside her in health class, this was the closest we had ever gotten to one another, unless of course you count the second grade when I hugged her after she gave me a really nice Valentines Card. It had Scooby Doo on it. "I'm hardly friends with half the people down there and they are probably fucking up Rosalie's parents' house."

"Isn't that Rosalie's problem though? She's the one throwing this little shindig," I asked curiously as Bella rested her head against the window pane. "Anyways, it's just possessions. I'm sure she can clean the plant Eric puked in and replace the vase that broke. I'm not so sure about the chandelier I saw Angela swinging from earlier though. She's a little girl but she drank her weight in beer tonight. I'm kinda worried about her." I knew I was rambling at this point, but I didn't know quite what to say to her. 'Hi my name is Edward and I would love to stick my cock inside of you' just didn't seem appropriate.

"Why did you come?"

"It's a party and I'm a teenage boy, so of course I came for the free booze," I lied as Bella suddenly reached her hand over and began running it through my hair. It was by far the best feeling in the entire world. Like an orgasm but ten million times better because it was Bella touching me. Fuck, if she ever got to touch my dick I knew I would spontaneously orgasm. It wouldn't be pretty and I wouldn't last very long, but it would so be worth it.

"No you didn't. If you really came for the free booze, you'd be downstairs drinking it like all the other lushes who showed up tonight. So cut the shit Cullen. Why did you come?" she asked again as she went to move her hand away from my head, but I gripped her wrist and held it in place.

"That's very soothing, so feel free to do it whenever the hell you want," I muttered as I let go of her and she went back to massaging my scalp and playing with my hair. "I came because I wanted to see you. Even though we don't get to talk much in class, you seem nice."

"Thanks… I think," said Bella with an awkward grin as my heart soared slightly from making her smile.

"So, if you don't want to be at this party, what do you want to be doing?" I asked curiously as she began scratching her forehead with her free hand. The silence in the room was deafening as Bella took a few moments to consider how she wanted to respond to my query.

"I want to do something memorable. Something that will stay in my mind forever as a great moment in my short little life," she said succinctly as I pondered her answer for a instant.

"I'm guessing this party won't be memorable for you?"

"Not likely. Unless something major happens like Newton sticking his head in the oven and singeing off all of his hair. Of course, that won't happen because this is Forks and Newton might be stupid but he doesn't have a death wish." Bella stopped for a moment and I heard her giggle the sweetest little noise I have ever heard. I couldn't help but wonder if she was envisioning Mike's suicide mission like I had been. "This party will just be a fleeting moment for me and I won't remember anything that happened here tonight when it really matters… with the exception of this conversation of course," she said genuinely as I tried to think of some way to make this night memorable for her. My first thought would be to kiss her and maybe fuck her, but then again, I wasn't sure that Bella would even find that memorable, although I knew for me it would be mind blowing.

"Okay then, let's make it memorable. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know Edward," she said with a groan as her hand moved harder against my scalp and I let out a low groan. "You really like this?"

"Oh fuck yes…" I growled as Bella turned in her seat and was sitting cross legged on the window seat, directly behind me. Suddenly she had both hands massaging my head and it took every ounce of self control I had not to jump up and start kissing her furiously. I was about to offer up a suggestion for making her birthday memorable, when her door opened and there stood Rosalie in all her glory, staring at us angrily. I turned back to look at Bella, wanting to gauge her facial expression and I came face to face with her white panties again. Apparently Bella had no idea they were visible to me and my dick hardened immediately as I gazed at her fabric covered pussy for a moment. Would it be wrong of me to take a deep breath and take in her scent?

"What in the hell is going on in here?" Rosalie asked furiously as I was woken from my thoughts of Bella's body wrapped around mine and I shrugged my shoulders.

"Scalp massage?" I offered up as Bella giggled behind me and slowed her motions on my head. Fuck I loved that giggle.

"Seriously?" questioned Rosalie as she quirked her eye brow at us. "You two don't even talk and now I am supposed to believe that you are alone in my bedroom simply getting a scalp massage?"

"The door was open Rosalie. Do you think if Edward even considering doing… whatever the fuck it is you are thinking about, that he would leave the door open?" Bella asked as I turned around to look her in the eye and she winked at me with a sly smile.

"She's right. I would have locked that fucker if I was going to do… well anything," I said with a small laugh as Bella continued moving her hands along my head and I let out another involuntary moan. Why the hell hadn't I locked the door?

"Whatever. Anyways, can I talk to Bella for a moment… in private?" asked Rosalie as she came further into the room. I could see her and Bella having some sort of staring contest as I reluctantly got off the ground and stood up.

"Come find me downstairs later," I said to Bella with a wink as I wandered out of the room, looking back for a moment to catch Rosalie sitting beside her on the window seat and both of them smiling about something.

When I walked down the stairs and into the living room, I wasn't surprised to find Emmett pounding back a beer while holding an arm wrestling contest with Eric on the coffee table. Even with one hand holding tightly on to his red plastic cup, Emmett still beat Eric easily. He noticed me from the corner of his eye and when he finished his drink, he wandered over to join me. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Talking to Bella," I admitted honestly as Emmett patted me on the back and smiled drunkenly.

"It's about time. Did you get some, Judy?"

"I said we were talking, so if you want to know if she talked back to me, then yes… I got some," I replied sarcastically as Jasper came over without Alice and Emmett and I both looked at him in surprise. "Now stop calling me girls names you fucking douchebag."

"Where's the midget?" asked Emmett crudely as he shook his head at me and Jasper pointed up the stairs.

"She went up to join Rosalie and Bella for some reason," said Jasper with a sigh as we all walked into the kitchen where the beer was. Jasper and Emmett helped themselves to a new drink and I decided to not drink anymore than the one beer I had already taken from Jasper earlier and the nasty concoction he had made me. Things were going well so far with Bella and I thought staying sober may be a wise move in the grand scheme of things.

We milled around the kitchen for a while, talking to some of the other football players for a bit. Practice that week had been brutal and Coach Clapp certainly didn't ease up on us since we were just back to school and all the guys were complaining about it. Our first game was in a week and even though it was just with Port Angeles High, Clapp was acting like it was the god damned Super Bowl.

After almost an hour with no sign of any of the girls, I began to get slightly worried. When I told Bella I wanted her to find me downstairs, she looked almost happy about it. I glanced at the kitchen clock and noticed it was past midnight, so I headed out to the front porch to get some fresh air. This was when I noticed something major; Rosalie's truck was missing.

"Umm… where's Rosalie?" I asked Angela who was walking out the front door with her boyfriend Ben on her arm.

"She left like ten minutes ago with Alice and Bella. She just texted me to let everyone know to get the fuck out of her house, but when I told them no one else seemed to care," said Angela with a sigh as I raised my eye brows in concern. "I don't actually know where they went, if that's what you want to know."

"Thanks," I said casually as I walked back inside the house and stared kicking people out. Several of the guests looked pissed as I turned into asshole Edward and told them to get the fuck out. No one was more pissed than Emmett though.

"She left? What the fuck? I've spent the last three hours practically eye fucking her at every possible turn and she leaves with her friends? This is fucked up," said Emmett as he kicked Mike and Eric out and then the only people left were Jasper, Emmett and I. Just as I was about to suggest we leave, Jasper got a text on his phone and furiously started digging into his pocket, which was probably a sign that the message was from Alice.

Jasper furrowed his brow for a moment before running outside the hopping in the back seat of my nasty old car. "Get in the car and take me to the beach at Lake Olympia," he stated coolly as I looked at him as though he was talking a foreign language.

"Did you just tell me to do something? I think you should ask politely Mr. Whitlock. It's not my fault you're too fucking drunk to do anything, let alone drive," I said furiously as I wandered towards the car and Emmett turned off the lights in the house and closing the door behind him before joining us outside.

"Just get in the car and drive."

"Not until you tell me what the fuck is going on," I replied angrily. I was never particularly a fan of being told what to do, even by my own mother. Although with her I tended to get frustrated, but I did whatever she asked me of anyways. I was kind of a push over when it came to her.

"Get in the mother fucking car Cullen."

"No."

I watched as Emmett climbed his big burly self into the passenger seat and waited patiently, completely ignoring the fight that was occurring between Jasper and me. Emmett seemed content, like a little kid who was promised ice cream when the ride was over if he behaved himself.

"Fine then we'll go without you," said Jasper as he climbed over the front seat and into my driver's seat. I whipped open the door and he fell out onto his back, which made me laugh uncontrollably. "Just read this and get in the car," he ended up saying as he passed me his phone and I read the little test message that graced the screen.

_Skinny Dipping at Lake Olympia. Bring Em and E._

**A/N: I promise the next chapter will continue on from here. Like I wouldn't write about skinny dipping! Gah!**


	5. My Birthday Suit

**A/N: It seems everyone wants Edward to go skinny dipping. So here ya go!**

**This chapter is for GreenEyedGirl17 and Nelln both of whom were a little over enthusiastic last night about seeing this chapter. I think my beta maggieMay14 might have teased Jen too much about the penises in this chapter, but enjoy none the less.**

**We tease like crazy on twitter, so feel free to find me or MaggieMay14 and join in the fun. LOL**

**I don't own Twilight; I do have an almost three year old who loves the Seahawks. I just think their coach looks like a walrus.**

**BPOV**

"What the fuck are you doing with Edward Cullen alone in my room?" asked Rosalie curiously once we knew Edward was out of earshot. We had waited until we heard his footsteps going down the stairs before either of us even considered speaking… and then we waited a few more seconds.

"Nothing but a scalp massage and some conversation. He wished me a happy birthday," I said honestly as a little smile broke out across my face and Rosalie immediately brightened up. "What on earth are you doing up here? Shouldn't you be working your powers of persuasion on Emmett?"

"I came up to find you since I hadn't seen you downstairs. I can't believe that all you two did was talk and you are smiling like that? Jesus fuck, if he ever touches you, you might actually burst with excitement," added Rosalie as I smacked her on the shoulder a little harder than I would have liked because now my hand hurt slightly and she was rubbing the spot where I had hit her.

"He did touch me," I said with a grin as Rosalie's eyes grew wide. "Not that kind of touching Rosalie, he just held my wrist for a moment. Is your mind always in the gutter?"

"Generally yes," she said and we both broke out into laughter. "Now when you say he held your wrist, please say he was holding it over your head and against the wall or my bed as he shoved his tongue into your mouth."

"Sadly no," I said with a small frown, wishing I had thought of that earlier.

We chatted for another moment and then Rosalie whipped out her cell phone and texted Alice to join us up in her room. I didn't think our small conversation warranted all three of us but apparently Rosalie disagreed. When Alice came up and I recapped the entire story for her, she was practically bouncing off of the edge of Rosalie's bed where she was sitting. "See, he doesn't think you're a pariah," laughed Alice as she leaned back on her palms and began kicking her feet in front of her happily like a three year old waiting for a cupcake.

"We talked about how lame the party was and I rubbed his scalp. That was the extent of it. Although had Rosalie not bust in the room when she did who knows what would have happened," I admitted as both of them stopped and looked me with disappointment in their eyes.

"You don't like the party?" Rosalie asked sadly and I reluctantly nodded my head.

"I told you guys ages ago I didn't want a party, but you never listened. Sure, I'm glad I got to talk to Edward, but I was in the room for like an hour before he came in and no one even noticed I was missing. Parties are for drinking and debauchery, neither of which I wanted to be involved in," I said stoically as Rosalie leaned forward and gave me a hug. Alice followed suit and jumped off of the bed, wrapping us both into a hug. "I'm not knocking the effort you guys put forth. I'm sure the people puking in your plants down stairs love it, but it's not my style."

"Okay. Tell us what you want to do and we'll do it," said Alice firmly as I looked at her and quirked my eye brow. "I'm serious. Fuck the party. Your birthday is almost over, so let's go do what you want to do," said Alice as she stood up and rested her hands on her hips. I could tell by the look on her face that she was not going to be easily dissuaded, so I didn't even bother trying.

"Well, as Edward said 'It's hotter than Satan's Balls' so I kinda want to go swimming," I said as I shrugged my shoulders. I looked over at my best friends in the entire world and was surprised to see them staring at each other as though a light had gone off and they had some sort of joint epiphany.

"Okay, go get in my truck. We are crossing something off that mother fucking list of yours," said Rosalie enthusiastically as she ran to the linen closet and grabbed a handful of towels. Alice and I went downstairs and out the front door as though there was no party going on, completely ignoring everyone behind us. "Should Rosalie even be driving?" I asked nervously. While I had been upstairs I had no idea how much alcohol either of my friends had consumed and I was a little reluctant to get in the truck at first.

"Rosie has had one beer all night and she was taking her time with that fucker. I think it's still half full somewhere in her living room," said Alice with a gentle smile. "I managed a beer and a shot, which was it. Although I am sure everyone thought Rosalie and I were plastered since we made out during a game of Kings."

"You did what?" I spluttered out incredulously as Alice simply shrugged her shoulders in response.

"We were playing Kings and Rosalie flipped over a four which meant she had to kiss another girl, so we kissed. Jasper and Emmett really enjoyed it," said Alice with a wink as she began to giggle and I just shook my head in mock surprise at her. A moment later we noticed Rosalie yelling as she came out of the house, most likely kicking people out, before she got in the truck and we headed towards the lake.

"We need to go back and get our swimsuits," I said anxiously as Alice sat in the backseat impatiently strumming her fingers along my headrest, which was annoying to say the least.

"No… we're going skinny dipping. It's one of the things on Bella's list, so we are doing it. Killing two birds with one stone and all that shit," explained Rosalie as she pulled onto the main highway out of town. Lake Olympia was only about twenty minutes away from Rosalie's house, so it was about quarter after twelve when we pulled into the deserted parking lot.

Lights from the town lit up part of the lake, but otherwise it was pretty fricking dark outside. Rosalie turned off her truck but left on her low beams before jumping out of the driver's seat and shedding her dress as she jumped into the cool lake water. I couldn't help but notice Alice shove her cell phone on the back seat as she got out and pulled her dress off, leaving her in her bra and panties as she danced across the beach like a retarded ballerina before diving into the water, head first.

"Come on Bella. The water is actually very refreshing," shouted Rosalie as I nervously pulled off the flip-flops I had slipped on as we were leaving the house. I tugged my skirt off and then pulled my shirt over my head along with that mother fucking tiara, nervously determining that being in my underwear was no worse than being in a bikini. Of course, my bikini wasn't white and potentially see through when wet, I thought to myself before just biting the bullet and running into the water.

"There's a difference between refreshing and fucking freezing," I called out to Rosalie when I came up for air. Alice and Rosalie giggled at me as they began treading water slowly and splashing around childishly. "This was a great idea Rosalie."

"Yeah, I know. The party might have sucked, but at least I was able to do something to make up for it. Lord knows you won't appreciate the birthday gift Ali and I got for you," chuckled Rosalie as her and Alice broke out into laughter and I was immediately confused.

"You didn't get me a gift," I said as I furrowed my brow together and swam closer to them. After being in the water for a few minutes, I had to admit that it was actually really soothing. The unseasonably warm and humid night air was uncomfortable against my skin, but the cool of the water was balancing it out nicely.

"We got you a gift. It's back at the house though," said Rosalie with a smirk. "Unfortunately for you, it's not Edward with a bow on his cock."

"Whatever Rosalie," I said with a groan as all three of us suddenly tensed up. We could hear a car coming down the lane towards the parking lot and fear coursed through my veins. It was actually a bit exhilarating. "Who the fuck would be coming here now?"

Alice giggled quietly beside me as I dipped my body beneath the water to cover everything but my head. Rosalie, of course, didn't give a shit that there was someone coming and moved closer towards the beach, her black lace bra and panties on display for everyone to see. The car pulled to a stop and parked beside Rosalie's truck and she stood in their headlights looking like a glamazon, her hands on her hips defiantly. "Motherfuckers."

"Holy fuck Rosie. Now that is a fucking greeting," yelled out Emmett as I looked over at Alice who shrugged her shoulders in confusion. "Might I just say you looking simply stunning? Black and… umm… wet certainly suits you."

"Get the fuck out. How the fuck did you even know we were here?" asked Rosalie as she stared down Emmett, who was already peeling off his shoes and t-shirt without any invitation to join us.

"I could lie and say we just happened to want to go to the ol' swimming hole, but where's the fun in that? Midget over there texted Jazz and asked him to bring me and Edward," said Emmett casually as he pointed towards Alice and I immediately splashed her as hard as I could. I swam closer to her and jumped up angrily, dunking her head under the water. If she wasn't my best friend, I would totally be trying to kill her at this very moment. I pulled away and let Alice come up for air, gasping uncontrollably as she still kept her eyes trained on the parking lot where Jasper stood.

I looked up from giving Alice a death glare and noticed Edward sitting on the edge of his hood, with Jasper flanking his side. Unlike Emmett, they were actually waiting for permission to join us. Rosalie held up her finger at Emmett, signaling him to stay put, and stormed back into the water over to where Alice and I were currently swimming. "You're dead Alice."

"Whatever Rosalie. Aren't you getting tired of your games? Emmett wants you, so have some fun. Anyways, I hardly got to see Jasper all night," said Alice as she waved her hand at him and he instantly perked up, waving back as Edward elbowed him in the gut. "Live a little, ladies."

I shrugged my shoulders in indifference as I watched intently as Rosalie moved back out of the water to confront Emmett. "You can stay, but you better behave yourselves," she said as she motioned between Emmett and Edward, not Jasper.

"Thanks sugar," said Emmett as he suddenly yanked down his shorts and moved into the water buck naked.

"OH MY GOD! MY VIRGIN EYES! AVERT YOUR EYES LADIES," yelled out Alice as we both turned around and haphazardly covered our eyes, trying not to see Emmett's dangling participle. Emmett's was the first actual penis I had ever seen outside of my health textbook, because of course I hadn't turned around fast enough to completely avoid seeing it and I had to say I was slightly impressed. "That was unexpected… but lucky Rose if she lands that guy," laughed Alice as we heard more splashing in the water and I determined that Edward and Jasper had finally joined us.

"You know Rosie, it's only fair that since all of us boys are naked, you girls should be too," laughed Emmett as I watched Rosalie narrow her gaze at him. "It's not true skinny dipping if you have clothes on."

"Emmett, don't make me kick you in the junk," she said fiercely as she moved further into the water, Emmett following her every move. I think Rosalie was reveling in the attention he was giving her because it was mere moments later when Emmett moved up behind her and she didn't push him away at all. In fact, she grabbed her bra and tossed it onto the beach, earning a low whistle from Emmett. She was teasing him and I hoped she didn't regret it.

The tension in the air between Edward and I was thick. He swam near Jasper for a little bit before venturing further into the water on his own. Jasper and Alice were then inseparable, her tiny hands wrapped around his neck as she either rode on his back or was kissing his lips from the front. I had to admit it, they were pretty adorable together and it was very obvious that Jasper was just as into her as she was into him.

"I'm sorry we crashed," said Edward from behind me as he caught me off guard and I let out a little gasp in shock. "I'm sorry I scared you too."

"It's okay. I just didn't see you there," I admitted reluctantly as he swam closer to me and I realized he was completely naked. If it wasn't so dark, I was certain he would see a blush cover my entire body.

"So is this what you had in mind when you wanted to do something more memorable for your birthday?" asked Edward as he swam circles around me slowly and I could see his face more clearly now that he was practically beside me. He was smirking smugly and his confidence was attractive. _Very attractive._

"Yeah, this is a lot more memorable than that party," I said coolly as Edward moved closer, his hand touching mine under the water. At least I think that was his hand, I thought to myself as my eyes grew wide and Edward smile again. "So, do you think Rosalie and Emmett will ever hook up?"

I was trying to discuss anything but the obvious sexual tension that was ripe between us and I hoped that moving the conversation to our friends would work. "I'm sure one day they will be the King and Queen of Forks High but right now Emmett likes playing her games too much," Edward said with a laugh. "He acts like it frustrates the hell out of him, but I know he secretly loves it."

"Do you like it when girls play games?"

"No."

"Why not? Isn't it all about the chase for you guys?" I asked curiously as Edward shook his head slightly.

"I can't speak for everyone else, but it's never about the chase for me," sighed Edward as he suddenly moved away from me and turned his eyes towards Jasper and Alice. "Take Jazz for example. He's loved Alice for ages, but he never chased her. The moment he knew she was interested, he threw himself head first into the water and hopes to never come up for air."

"Alice believes they are soul mates," I said with a giggle as Edward looked at me in surprise.

"I take it you don't believe in soul mates right?"

"Not really. My father believed my mother was his soul mate and look where that led them," I said quickly and then instantly regretted it. I didn't really want to start telling Edward my sob story about my parents and my childhood. As far as I was concerned, it was in the past and it was staying there. "Sorry about that. I didn't mean to unload my baggage on you."

"It's fine. Not everyone can have parents who have been together for twenty years and finish each other's sentences," laughed Edward as he continued to swim further away from the beach. I struggled to keep up to him at first and then he stopped and began treading water as I moved closer to him. "Even though I see true love on a daily basis in my own house, doesn't mean I believe in it."

"Aren't you cynical," I said with a laugh as he nodded his head.

"I could say the same for you."

**EPOV**

Was I cynical about love? I wasn't one hundred percent sure. I knew I had a firsthand example of love and destiny in my kitchen every single morning, but I wasn't sure if I was a believer or not. When I looked into Bella's eyes, I wanted desperately to believe in fate and soul mates, but I knew that wasn't fair of me or her for that matter. It wasn't right of me to fall for her, lead her on and then dump her when I left Forks in June after our graduation ceremony. I loved her enough not to do that to her, although every moment I spent with her my resolve was slowly breaking. Even now as I swam naked in the lake with her and our friends, talking about love, I wanted nothing more than to pull her body to mine and kiss her passionately, but I couldn't do it. This couldn't end well.

"You seem deep in thought," Bella said casually as she pulled me from my thoughts.

"Sorry," I said as I shook my head lightly and looked at her as sweetly as I could. "It was nothing."

"Nothing huh? We're talking about true love and you suddenly space out. Thinking about your own true love?" she asked with a smirk as I nodded my head and I knew I was blushing slightly. Thank god it was dark and she couldn't really see my expression. "I don't mean to pry into your personal life, but if you have a true love, or someone you at least think is your true love… why the fuck would you let Jessica Stanley suck your skin off?"

I shut my eyes slowly and tried to tread water as best as I could while also regretting with every fiber of my being every single second that I ever spent with Jessica. "You knew?"

"Everyone knew. Fuck, the space station probably picked up that massive hickey she left on you last week," said Bella with a nervous giggle and I felt infinitely worse. "It probably doesn't help that she is obsessed with you and is telling anyone who will listen that she wants you to take her to the homecoming dance."

Well now, that was news to me. The last person on the planet that I wanted to take to that damned dance was Jessica Stanley. "Huh," I said with a laugh as Bella perked her eye brow at me. "That won't happen. I'm not even sure if I will be going."

"Why not? Don't you football players have to go?" asked Bella with a smirk.

"Are you going Bella?" I asked her curiously.

"No one has asked me yet. I'm sure if someone asked, I would be going. Unless it was Newton," replied Bella with a laugh. As I sat there in the water, contemplating asking her, Emmett suddenly swam over and splashing both of us and pulling us from our conversation.

"You're a fucking jackass Emmett," I shouted angrily as I jumped forward, my chest coming out of the water and I pushed him under the water, holding him down for a moment before finally letting him up. He coughed for a moment before staring at Bella a little too long for my liking.

"Why are you still dressed Baby Bell? Alice and Rosie both got naked," he said with a grin as he motioned towards the beach where sure enough, their bras and panties laid. Bella let out a low groan as Rosalie joined us, smiling from ear to ear.

"Don't let Emmett pressure you baby girl," laughed Rosalie as she jumped on her back, affording me quite the view of her tits before she pressed her chest against Emmett's back.

"I'll do it if you and Emmett agree to go on a date," said Bella with a smug smirk as she looked at Rosalie who was narrowing her eyes at Bella.

"Well Baby Bell… that right there is a great idea. What do you say Rosie baby? Wanna go on a date with me? You've already manhandled my member, what's a date in the grand scheme of things?" said Emmett crudely as I looked over at Bella whose eyes were wide with shock. Alice and Jasper had come over to join us and I tried not to pay attention to the fact that both Alice and Rosalie were topless. Shit, the water was dark but not that dark.

"What is this about Emmett's peter being pulled?" asked Jasper with a giggle as he wrapped his arm possessively around Alice, effectively hiding her breasts from my view. Thank god.

"It wasn't pulled or manhandled," said Rosalie indignantly. "I might have accidently touched it or something like that."

"Accidently touched it… wrapped your hand around to determine its thickness and length… both work," laughed Emmett as Rosalie smacked him upside the head.

"Shut up; now take off your clothes Bella. I'm going on date with Emmett," said Rosalie in annoyance as Emmett threw his hands up in victory, effectively knocking Rosalie off of his back and into the water with a loud splash.

"You don't have to do this you know," I whispered into Bella's ear as I watched her hands move below the water and she yanked off her panties and left them floating in the water for a moment. Would it be completely crass of me to steal them for a memento? Probably.

"Yes I do. Rosalie and Emmett are meant to be together, so I get naked for a little bit and they get the shove they need in the right direction," stated Bella as Jasper and Emmett watched with wide eyes as she attempted to reach behind her back to unclasp her bra. "Can you do me a huge favor and unhook it for me?"

I choked for a moment as I Bella looked over her shoulder to where I was swimming. I reluctantly reached my hands up and unclasped her white and blue bra before I tentatively reached my hands up along her shoulders, pushing the straps of her bra down along her soft arms. I looked down at my hands and they were practically shaking as I touched her skin. "Thanks Edward," I heard Bella mumble softly as I pulled my hands away quickly and pushed them into the water. Fuck, now I was hard and all I did was touch her.

"Awesome Baby Bell, now I get to show Rosie here a good time. I hope you like McDonald's baby," said Emmett with a loud guffaw as Rosalie smacked him upside the head again. I swam away from my friends again, trying to think of anything other than the fact that the object of my desire was twenty feet away and completely naked.

"You do realize you'll never get anywhere near where you want to get if you take me to McDonald's," threatened Rosalie as I heard both Alice and Bella laugh genuinely at her as I continued to swim away. In instances like this, I would generally just lounge on my back, but considering the state of my cock, I couldn't exactly do that seeing as it would be pointing north for all to see. When I noticed everyone else was distracted, I slowly got out of the water and made my way to car, tossing my dry clothes back on. They stuck to me a little bit, but at least now my cock wasn't on a constant search for Bella.

I sat on a log by the edge of the water, my bare feet digging into the sand as I tried to think of a way to make this work between Bella and me. That was if she even wanted something to happen between us.

"Why did you get out of the water?" I heard Bella ask as I looked up and found her lying face down in the water a few feet from me. Everything was covered by the water, but just the sheer image of her like that was enticing to say the least.

"I was cold," I lied as Bella perked her head up slightly.

"Oh, well I'm sorry you left the water," she replied as I gave her an awkward half smile and I noticed her smile cheerfully in return. "Okay, everyone turn around please. I'm getting out of the water," shouted Bella as I buried my head in my hands, not wanting to get caught looking at her.

"Oh come on Baby Bell, just streak," shouted Emmett as I heard another smack against his head from my position on the beach. I looked up for a moment when I heard loud splashing and sure enough I caught Bella's naked body as she ran to Rosalie's truck to get a towel from the back seat. I whipped my head around to continue watching her and couldn't help the grin that crossed my face as I caught an excellent view of her ass. Jesus Christ she had a sexy ass and I couldn't help envisioning myself biting it.

"Sorry about that," laughed Bella as she came over to sit beside me wrapped in only a towel.

"Um what?" I said as I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to distract myself by apparently breaking my nose.

"I said sorry about streaking. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable," she said sweetly as I nodded my head slowly. Without warning, Bella reached her hand up and began massaging my head again, my damp hair threading through her fingers as I let out a low moan again.

"No worries, I wasn't uncomfortable," I lied. I was hard as a fucking rock and that shit was painstakingly uncomfortable, especially with Bella sitting beside me, rubbing my head and me having no hope of dealing with it.

"I think everyone else is thinking about going back to Rosalie's soon. Are you going to come?" she asked as I shuddered for a moment as she moved her hand to the back of my neck. Jesus fuck, why couldn't I think of this girl in any but a sexual context? Oh right, she was beside me naked in a towel, that's why.

"Uhh… I don't know. It's getting pretty late you know," I remarked, trying to sound as casual as possible and pretend that I wasn't envisioning her mouth around my cock as I came in her mouth. That would be wrong on so many levels.

"It's one in the morning, Sandra. If we are going to Rosalie's so are you," shouted Emmett as he strolled out of the water and Bella and I both threw our hands over our eyes so that we didn't have to be forced to see any more of Emmett's twig and berries. I heard Emmett put his shorts back on and then he came over to Rosalie's truck and grabbed two towels out of the back seat and brought them over to Rosalie, shielding her as she came out of the water. I knew he had it in him to be chivalrous, even if he was a complete asshole more often than not.

"Why does he keep calling you girls' names?" asked Bella curiously as she nudged my shoulder with hers.

"Cause he's a complete fucking loser," I said with an anxious smile. There was no way I was going to sit here and tell her that it was because Emmett thought I couldn't man up and hook up with her. A few minutes later, Jasper was running up from the beach as Bella stepped away from the log we were sitting on to go and get dressed behind Rosalie's truck. I noticed her bra and panties were lying on the water's edge so I went over and picked them up to innocently bring them to her.

When I got behind the truck, what I saw was anything but innocent. Bella was slipping her t-shirt on over her head and I was afforded a fucking fantastic view of her tits. Between seeing her ass and her breasts I certainly had enough material for the spank bank for the rest of my life. I turned around so that I wasn't facing her before I began to speak. "Umm… do you need these?" I asked as I lifted the bra and panties up behind my head.

"Can you toss them in the back of the truck? They're gross and covered with sand. I'll just go without for now," Bella said casually as I growled for a moment, thinking about her going commando was even more painful than seeing her perky tits on full display for me.

"Um… okay," I muttered in response as I tossed her undergarments into the back of the truck. In a moment of weakness, I reached in and grabbed her white panties, shoving them in my pocket before anyone could see. I'm sure she could assume that they had just been misplaced in the truck or on the beach, right? _Fuck, I was a pervert._

"Let's go. I have some people to kick out of my house and I'm not afraid of using violence or a weed whacker," stated Rosalie firmly once she was all dressed and getting into her truck.

"No worries babe. Edward, Jasper and I made sure the house was empty and closed up before we left. We didn't think you would appreciate coming home to find Tyler drunkenly humping your couch cushions," laughed Emmett as Rosalie suddenly hopped down from her truck and went over to him, gripping his face in her hands and kissing him passionately.

"Thanks," she muttered as she turned on her heel and got back into her truck. Emmett just stood there looking a bit dumbstruck at the entire scene while Jasper, Bella, Alice and I just laughed at the absurdity of it all.

As we got into my car and followed Rosalie's big red beast out of the parking lot, I looked over at Emmett who had his hands resting on his lips. He looked like he was going to go into shock. "Should we take him to the emergency room?" laughed Jasper as he punched Emmett on the shoulder. "I think Rosalie kissed his brains out of him."

"Shut up," said Emmett angrily as Jasper and I continued to laugh at his expense, even though I knew if I ever got the chance to kiss Bella I would probably be just as incoherent. "Anyways, at least I now have a date with Rosalie. How was your night Edward?"

"It was fine."

"Just fine? If it wasn't for me suggesting Bella take her shit off, you would have never seen her tits," state Emmett firmly as I withheld the urge to punch him in the nose. "She has a nice rack man. No wonder you want to hit that."

Without a second thought, I pulled the car over to the side of the road and watched for a moment as Rosalie's tail lights faded into the dark. "I can handle you being a crude asshole about everything but don't bring Bella into it. She's better than that and you might feel the need to objectify Rosalie, fuck she might even get off on it, but don't even think about doing it to Bella."

"Calm down dude, I was just commenting. It's not like I saw much of them anyways," said Emmett as he held up his hands in defeat, but I was still furious.

"Just don't. Not with Bella okay?" I said angrily as Emmett nodded his head. "Feel free to make fun of the skanks who deserve it like Jessica and Lauren."

I turned the Volvo back on the road and we continued in silence back to Rosalie's house, getting there about five minutes after the girls had. I reluctantly walked back into the filthy house behind Jasper and Emmett and found all three girls lying on the couch in their pajamas. "Did the party start without us?" asked Jasper with a wink as he moved across the living room and Alice got up from her seat to climb onto his lap in the big armchair he sat down on.

"What's the plan now?" asked Emmett as Rosalie stood from her spot on the couch and took his hand dragging him up the stairs.

"I don't even want to know what is going on there. I think we are all just going to crash in the basement. If something happens up there I don't want to hear it," said Bella with a giggle as my heart fluttered slightly at the gentle laugh. "There are two big couches and a ton of blankets and stuff down there."

Alice and Jasper led the way as Bella made sure all the doors were locked and the lights were off before I followed them down. The basement was actually just a huge family room, with a big screen TV, two huge recliners and two big couches. "Jasper and I are taking the pull out couch," announced Alice as Bella narrowed her eyes at her for a moment.

"You can have the blue couch Bella," I said as I watched Alice pull the cushions off of the dark green couch and then Jasper pulled out the bed easily. "I'll take the recliner."

"Okay," sighed Bella as I saw a small look of disappointment in her eyes as I moved to the far side of the basement and sat down on the dark blue leather recliner. I leaned back and put the chair into its reclining position as I watched intently as Bella struggled to get comfortable on the couch. Jasper grabbed a few of the blankets that were lying on the other recliner and handed one to me and then Bella before he reached up and shut off the light, climbing onto the squeaky bed beside Alice.

"Goodnight Edward," said Bella quietly.

I laid the blanket slowly over my body as I leaned back and stared at the drop ceiling. How the fuck did I get to the point that I was about to sleep ten feet away from the object of my desire? I let my mind wander back to the images of Bella in the water, Bella's sexy ass and Bella's awesome breasts. I wanted it all, but most especially I wanted her. As I listened to her breathing even out and I sat up slightly, watching her sleep, I decided to just throw caution to the wind. I was going to make her mine, even if it broke me.

"Goodnight Bella," I replied, my voice sounding somewhat hopeful.

"Goodnight John Boy," laughed Jasper.

**A/N: Now that you have read this, run and go read 3,2,1 by Heather Dawn and Picture Me Sexy by LoriRae. Both are awesome WIP's that I have been reading recently.**

**Also… go read anything and everything by GreenEyedGirl17. I'm already swooning for her footballward in Illegal Contact. *wipes up drool and posts chapter***


	6. My Conflicting Emotions

**A/N: I wasn't going to post this for a few more days, but since I am so excited about posting the next chapter, I figured I might as well get this one out as soon as possible.**

**The usual thanks to MaggieMay14 for being a superspectacular beta. My pre-readers flightlessbird11 and my newbie pre-reader beegurl13, who along with TsWard1 and Kerry Hansen, gave me lots of insight into Homecoming, which we don't celebrate in Canada. We celebrate things like beer and moose.**

**Thanks to the girls on Twitter for their fabulous support. I love you and this is why I tease.**

**I don't own Twilight, I do have an overwhelming urge to kill the people who created the 'Little Einstein's' because I have been watching them non-stop for two days. FML.**

**BPOV**

I rolled over as I stretched my arms over my head and fell off of something… with a loud thud. I lifted my head up to check my surroundings and felt a bit like a prairie dog as I glanced around and noticed I was sitting on the floor of Rosalie's basement. Why the fuck is Edward in the corner on her dad's recliner?

I awkwardly stood up, all my bones aching from sleeping on the damned couch and made my way upstairs to brew a pot of coffee. Rosalie's main floor was a gigantic disaster area with two overturned plants in the living room, dozens of cups, empty bottles and ashtrays everywhere and what the fuck is that smell??

After I set up the pot of coffee to brew, I grabbed a garbage bag from under the counter and started tossing everything from the counter inside of it after I poured any leftover booze in the sink. Considering I didn't want to have this party, it was ironic that I was standing here cleaning up the mess. "What are you doing?"

I jumped up, slightly startled to hear Edward behind me and I ended up dropping the garbage bag I was holding onto the ground with a loud clang. "Sorry about that," he muttered as he bent down and helped me pick up the few red plastic cups that had fallen out of the bag when it dropped.

"No, I'm sorry for being so surprised," I admitted ruefully as I bent down in front of him and my eyes were focused on his as I tried to pick up some of the mess. As I finished picking up the last things from the floor, Edward and I stood up simultaneously, our eyes practically trained on each other. "Do you know what that smell is? I tried to find it when I walked around cleaning up this fucking mess, but I don't know where it is, let alone what it is." _Great job there Bella_. You actually have Edward alone again and all you can think to ask him is where the putrid smell is coming from.

"Umm… no, I have no idea," Edward said with a shrug of his shoulders as he opened up the door to the backyard to air out the house, which made me feel like an idiot for suffering with the smell. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Other than the kink in my neck right now, it was just fine. Alice and Jasper's giggles kept me up a bit though. How about you?" I asked as I grabbed the full garbage bag and took it into the backyard to put it with the rest of Rosie's trash. When I dropped the bag in the large trash can at the bottom of her deck, I felt Edward's hands on my shoulders, massaging roughly the area where my neck and my shoulder met, exactly where it had been sore from sleeping on the couch. "You don't need to do that."

"It's one of the few things I know from being the son of a doctor, so let me use my expertise," said Edward confidently as I held back the moan that was threatening to escape my lips. "Anyways, I owe you for the scalp massage you gave me last night." Before I had a chance to reply, Edward was holding me by my shoulders and directing me towards the picnic table that sat in the middle of Rosalie's backyard. The sky was still slightly dark and the sun hadn't completely come up yet, so I knew it was before seven in the morning. Why the fuck I was up at seven was beyond me, but considering I was with Edward, I wasn't going to complain.

Edward made me sit on the bench as he sat on top of the table directly behind me and resumed massaging my shoulder and neck. It was insane how well his hands worked against my sore neck and my mind instantly wondered how good his hands and long fingers would be in other situations. _Since when did I have such a dirty mind? _"Your whole body is tense Bella. Was that couch really a bed of nails in disguise?"

"Um no," I said nervously. I couldn't exactly blurt out the truth which was that I was tense because I couldn't believe he was actually touching me. As if spending time last night with him wasn't surreal enough, here he was the next morning giving me a neck massage. "I'm fine really. You don't need to do this anymore." I pulled back from Edward's touch and when I looked at him sitting up on the picnic table, I couldn't help but notice the hurt in his eyes. He couldn't possibly be mad that I won't let him touch me… could he? "We should go find out what that smell is."

I shakily moved to stand up from the bench, Edward's eyes never once moving from mine. As I turned to walk into the house, I felt Edward's hand encircle my wrist, holding me in place. "Can you wait one second?" he asked; the nervousness obvious in his voice as he jumped down from the table and walked towards me. "I need to ask you something."

Edward's hand let go of me, but his eyes had just as strong of a hold on me that his hands had. "Okay, ask me," I replied in trepidation as he moved towards me and I involuntarily backed away until I was leaning against the tall oak tree in the yard. "You had a question?" I asked, my voice cracking slightly as my hands reached down and pressed firmly against the bark of the tree as Edward stopped inches in front of me. My finger nails dug into the hard bark in the most painful way as my nerves increased tenfold as Edward moved his face towards mine and his hot breath which reeked of peppermint and boy washed over me.

"I want to know if…" he said quietly against my ear as I felt his lips touch my ear lobe softly and my entire body quivered. I let out a low gasp of both shock and arousal as Edward then left a trail of hot kisses along my jaw and finally the corner of my mouth. Edward was going to kiss me. _Holy fuck… Edward was going to kiss me._ I took a deep breath, both eager and nervous to feel his soft lips on mine and just as our lips were about to touch, there was a loud clanging from the back deck and the screen door was whipped open.

"Here's the deal -- I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence," shouted Jasper as he walked out the back door, his arm draped lazily over Alice's shoulder like it was always meant to be there. She patted his chest when he finished speaking, no doubt embarrassed by his oft used Talladega Nights quotes, but she beamed happily at him anyways. I hadn't even noticed when it happened, but Edward was now a couple of steps back from me and looking up at Jasper as though we weren't about to share our first kiss.

"Why the hell are you guys up?" asked Alice as she pointed between Edward and me. I shook my head in disappointment and frustration while Edward just shrugged his shoulders.

"I could ask you the same thing," I replied as Aiice stood on her tip toes and kissed Jasper's jaw as though it was the most casual thing to do, like breathing.

"Jasper's mother called his cell phone to remind him that he's supposed to be at his grandmothers to mow her yard in an hour," said Alice as Jasper just nodded his head and I climbed up the steps from the deck to move back into the house. "Were you guys cleaning?"

"I was cleaning… Edward was… I don't know what he was doing," I said as I shook my head in confusion and I led everyone else into the house. Edward was mystifying me. One moment he was cold and the next he was offering up massages and trying to kiss me. Of course, I couldn't just stand here and call him out on everything, even though I wanted to. I just wanted to ball my hands into little fists and scream out at the top of my lungs 'what the hell do you want from me?' That would never happen though.

"Can you drive me home man?" asked Jasper as he looked at Edward who was nodding his head quietly and he looked anywhere but at me. "Thanks. I'm sure Emmett wants as much time with Rosie as he can manage." I backed away from my friends and found the smell getting stronger as I got closer to Rosalie's pantry.

I reluctantly pulled open the door and was shocked to see Eric Yorkie fall out of the small room, which reeked of piss and puke. "Holy Christ," I yelped out as Eric smacked his head on the hardwood floor and woke up looking very startled. "Well shit, at least he's not dead."

"What the fuck are you doing in there Yorkie?" yelled out Jasper as he grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him up from the ground. Eric looked like a complete mess and was clearly the source of the smell that had been emanating throughout the house.

"I don't know man. Last thing I knew I was doing shots with Newton here in the kitchen," Eric admitted, sounding very ashamed of the situation he had found himself in. As Edward and Jasper forced him to clean up the mess in the pantry, Alice and I sat back for a moment and I couldn't help but find myself laughing at the absurdity of the situation. Mere moments ago Edward was about to kiss me and now he was making a puke covered Eric clean up the pantry with a Swiffer and some heavy duty air freshener.

"Okay, now tell me what Jazz and I interrupted in the back yard?" asked Alice after the boys had left, dragging Eric with them. I was glad that the smell had gone, but I was slightly disappointed Edward had to leave. I wanted to discuss with him and possibly reenact what had happened earlier outside against the oak tree that used to hold the tire swing we played with when we were little.

"You didn't interrupt anything," I said nonchalantly as I began putting some dishes into the dishwasher. Once I had part of the kitchen island cleaned up, Alice jumped her tiny ass up and sat down.

"I don't believe you for one second Bella. When Jazz and I stepped onto that deck, you and Edward looked very… cozy," she said as she winked in my direction and suddenly Emmett wandered in with Rosalie at his side. They were holding hands and smiling happily until they saw Alice and me in the kitchen. Emmett ran his hands through his short curly hair and strolled into the room like he owned the place.

"Who was cozy… and what the fuck is that smell?" asked Rosalie as both Alice and I broke out into loud laughter.

"Edward and Bella were getting cozy in your backyard and that smell was the half dead body of Eric Yorkie," replied Alice quickly as Rosalie turned her head towards me, a wide smile on her face.

"It's about time Baby Bell got some action," commented Emmett as he helped himself to a cup of coffee and sat down at the small kitchen table, sipping on his drink with a grin. "It took him long enough to make a fricking move. I told Susie that he had to man up otherwise some other jackass would sweep you off your feet and he'd be too late."

"Who the fuck is Susie?" asked Alice as I turned my head towards Emmett, as I wondered the exact same thing.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Emmett's eyes grew wide and he clapped his hand over his mouth as he realized he had said too much. He took a big gulp of his coffee, hoping that we might forget his small outburst, but it didn't happen. Rosalie, sensing that he wasn't going to repeat himself, moved over and sat on his lap, running her finger seductively along his cheek as she whispered in his ear something that we were unable to hear.

"Shit, alright," he stammered as Rosalie looked at us victoriously. "Please don't tell Edward I said this, but he's had a crush on you for years. He's kinda put you on a bit of a pedestal though so I'm not sure if he will ever make a move on you or not. I call him Susie because I think he's a girl for not doing anything about how he feels about you," said Emmett with a sigh as Alice and Rosalie looked at me with smug expressions on their face.

"We can _so_ use this to your benefit Bella," said Alice as she jumped off of the counter and danced casually over to Emmett. "Em… can you tell me one more thing?"

"No." Rosalie leaned over again and whispered something else in his ear as he nodded his head quickly. I had to admit, I was very curious about what she was telling him that made him bend to our will.

"Does Edward have a date for Homecoming?" asked Alice in curiosity. Emmett shook his head in the negative and a wide smile grew on the faces of both my best friends. I had no idea what they were thinking but based on the evil grin they now had, it couldn't be good.

Emmett left shortly after he had a world's biggest bowl of Froot Loops out of a gigantic mixing bowl. Alice and I peeked around the kitchen door as we watched Rosalie give him a very graphic kiss as Emmett grabbed her ass and she yelped happily. When Rosalie came back into the kitchen, she had a smile a mile wide and insisted on us not asking any questions about her night with Emmett. "I will just say that his dick is bigger than it looked at the beach and it looked huge there."

"What did you say to him to convince him to tell us about Edward?" I asked, the curiosity getting the better of me as I finally took a sip of the coffee I had made over forty five minutes ago.

"I just informed him that he'd never get to third base if he didn't tell us. That boy has no self control," she said with a laugh as I rolled my eyes and let out a muffled sigh.

Alice and I both had wide eyes as Rosalie spoke candidly about Emmett's wee willy winky. "Speaking of dicks, we forgot to give you your gift," announced Alice as she ran upstairs to Rosalie's room to get the present they had gotten me as I moved into the living room, lounging casually on her couch which was ten times more comfortable than the one I slept on. I had to admit, when it came to Rose and Alice, I was anticipating the worst. My worries were completely founded when I opened up the medium sized rectangular box they had given me.

"Sweet Lord, you guys got me a vibrator?" I exclaimed in surprise as I tossed the box on the coffee table in front of me as though it would give me some sort of disease just by looking at it. I was mortified that they thought I would even want something like that.

"Don't be such a prude. That's not just any vibrator honey. That is a top of the line Rabbit with rotating G-spot feature," laughed Alice as she read straight from the box.

"Just take it home with you Bella. If you do manage to hook Edward, he will appreciate the fact that you know how to take care of yourself and he might even be turned on. I know Emmett was," declared Rosalie as I coughed loudly in shock. "What? Did you think we played Battleship up there?" I rolled my eyes for a moment before Rosalie declared it was time for her to drive us home. She had an entire house to clean up and a pantry to disinfect. I attempted to help before we left but she insisted on taking care of it since she was the one who threw the party and I didn't really want it in the first place. I had a feeling Emmett would be over later to help her take care of some of it though.

Monday morning in school was monotonous as hell. A bunch of people came up to thank me for the party at Rosalie's even though I didn't have a hand in it nor did I enjoy it. When we were sitting in the cafeteria during lunch, I kept glancing over to Edward's table but he was never looking in my direction. I immediately sensed that both health class and afterwards in the library as we worked on our project would be difficult.

"Hey Bella," I heard a kind voice behind me say. When I turned around I came face to groin with Peter Green, one of the linebackers on the football team. I looked up to his face, where a wide smile formed on his mouth. Peter was definitely one of the cuter guys to grace the halls of Forks High. With light brown short hair that he tended to spike up slightly and the cutest set of dimples besides Emmett. "Umm… do you have a minute?" he asked as he motioned with his head to the doors leading out of the cafeteria. I glanced over to Rosalie and Alice who were both nodding their head and urging me to go with him.

"Sure," I said with a slightly reluctant sigh as I followed him out of the cafeteria and noticed Edward glaring at me as we went. Peter sat down on one of the picnic tables outside and we were out of the line of sight of Edward, thank god. I was beginning to get nervous as I waited impatiently for Peter to start talking even though I had a feeling I knew what was going to come out of his mouth.

"So, a little birdie told me this morning that you didn't have a date for the Homecoming dance and I wanted to know if you were interested in going with me. I know it's like two weeks away, but I didn't want to let the chance to go with you slip through my hands," said Peter genuinely. The expression on his face seemed sincere, but I couldn't help but feel that Rosalie or Alice had put him up to it.

"Umm…" I began to reply tentatively. I wasn't sure how to respond to him. I was really hoping that Edward would ask me and I was even going to casually mention the dance when we worked on our project after school. However, the odds of him asking me seemed slim to none since he had acted like I didn't exist when we saw each other this morning outside of the school. "Can I let you know later tonight?"

"Sure. No rush. I'll wait for you to give me an answer," said Peter cheerfully as he ripped a piece of paper from one of his notebooks and wrote down his phone number. "Feel free to call or text me on my cell phone anytime you want Bella."

I nodded my head as I watched him walk away and back into the cafeteria. Alice and Rosalie ran out a few minutes later and I told them everything that Peter had said to me. Alice insisted that she hadn't asked him to ask me to the dance, but I was somewhat skeptical. She did admit to casually mentioning in her second period math class that I was still available. "Nothing will get Edward off of his ass more than a little healthy competition."

"Anyways, we have to get back to the cafeteria. Senorita Marquez is supposed to announce the nominees for Homecoming Court today," said Rosalie excitedly. I groaned and reluctantly followed the girls back into the school. When I looked over at the football players table, Peter was smiling cheerfully at me and even waved. Edward on the other hand was sneering and looked pretty damned angry. Perhaps a little competition wasn't so bad.

**EPOV**

Peter Fucking Green. When we had practice tomorrow, I was seriously going to pummel the shit out of him. When I watched Bella walk from the cafeteria with him my blood started to boil. I knew why they were going out there because he had mentioned it to me in second period math when Alice stealthy announced Bella didn't have a date to Homecoming.

"_No one has asked her yet. Shit, there's a surprise," said Peter casually as he nudged me with his elbow and I felt the urge to snap his arm off._

"_Her dad's the chief of police you know. I bet he'll shoot any guy in the leg who tries to get close to his daughter," I remarked, hoping to dissuade him somewhat so that I could ask Bella before he got the chance. I didn't really want to go to the dance even though it was kind of expected of everyone on the team to go, but going with Bella would certainly make the night a bit more bearable._

"_A shot to the leg would heal," said Peter casually as he turned around and looked at Alice who was smiling happily at him. "It's always the good girls that are actually bad."_

_Fucker._

Now here we sit in the cafeteria as Senorita Marquez calls the room to order and prepares to announce the Homecoming Court nominees. Fuck my life. I hadn't even voted, Emmett had stolen the nomination sheet from me and wrote down his, mine, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie and Bella's name for me, since the ballot allowed for three girls and three guys. Emmett was a shoo in for Homecoming Court. He was the funniest fucker in the school and the quarterback; it was like that stupid crown was made for him.

"Okay, calm down kids," shouted Senorita Marquez as the room got completely silent. I had to laugh at how seriously the students here took Homecoming. The football games, the pep rally and the dance were one of the most important events of the year next to Prom. All the girls sat with baited breath, whispering to the girl next to them about who would get announced and I just laughed at the entire thing. "We will start with the Kings Court first."

"Emmett McCarty," she announced first as Emmett stood up and shook his hands in victory, though from my seat he looked a little too much like Richard Nixon promising that he wasn't a crook.

"Peter Green." There was a smattering of clapping in the room, including some from Bella as she watched him for a moment before leaning over to answer a question posed by Alice.

"Edward Cullen." Shit. I hadn't been expecting that.

I ignored the response from my classmates as Emmett pounded me on the back and assured me that he knew I was going to be in the Court. All football players, no surprise there, but please god don't let it be all cheerleaders that are chosen for the Queen's Court.

"Now onto the Queen's Court. Our first nominee is Rosalie Hale." There were loud cheers around the room, especially from Emmett beside me, whose yells were so loud I thought I might need to talk to my father about getting my hearing tested.

"Jessica Stanley." Oh Christ. We'll never hear the end of this one, I thought to myself as Emmett nudged me quickly.

"Who the fuck voted for crazy tits?" he asked as we broke out into such loud laughter that we interrupted Senorita Marquez. "Sorry about that," added Emmett as he apologized to her for interrupting and we waited patiently for the next nominee as she glared at the two of us at the back of the room. Jasper had taken to sitting with Alice during lunch, so sure enough he was perched at her table where Rosalie was bouncing happily about being nominated.

"Lauren Mallory."

"Why do the guys at this school have the worst taste in women, with the exception of Rosalie of course," said Emmett as the final lunch bell rang and it was time to get to class. I shrugged my shoulders indifferently and watched as Peter went over to talk quickly to Bella. I gathered up my tray which had my half eaten lunch on it and tossed it all in the trash before heading off to my next class feeling like shit. As I walked down the hallway, various people congratulated me on being nominated but I truly didn't care about it at all. It was all made infinitely worse was when Jessica Stanley ran up to me, gushing about us being nominated together.

"So, I was thinking that since we were both nominated for Court, we could go together," she said with wide eyes as she walked down the hallway at my side. My head ran rampant with visions of me pushing her to the right and her head smacking into some of the lockers that ran down the hallway, but I wasn't that mean, even to Crazy Tits.

"I'm thinking … no," I said a little callously as she stopped dead in her tracks and glared at me.

"Well Lauren is going with Tyler and I doubt you'll be taking Rosalie, so why not?"

"Why not? I'm not even sure I am going to go to be honest with you Jessica," I said as I stood in the doorway of my classroom and she waited impatiently for a good reason. "And anyways, there is someone else I want to ask."

"Who?"

"Anyone but you," I said with a smirk as I turned and walked into the classroom as the teacher, Mr. Jansen, glared at Jessica before telling her to leave, since she wasn't in this class with us.

The next hour went by slowly as I eagerly waited for the bell to ring. I wanted to get to health class and talk to Bella about our almost kiss on the weekend, but when I got there, she was deep in conversation with Mike, which made me pretty pissed off. "You got the shaft Bella. You totally should have been nominated," I heard him say as I walked over to my desk and tossed my books down a little too loudly. Everyone in class turned around and looked at me curiously and I just glared at all of them, even though my anger was actually directed at Newton.

"Okay, let's start talking about sexually transmitted diseases again," announced Mrs. Jameson as she walked in and my opportunity to talk to Bella was lost.

When the class finally let out, I was both nervous and relieved. "Do you want to go to the library and work?" I asked her as we gathered up our books and I watched her nod her head. I let her walk ahead of me and I kept my hand on her lower back as I guided her towards the library. Oh who I am I kidding, I just wanted to touch her.

When we walked through the double doors of the library, I reluctantly dropped my hand as I saw Lauren, Jessica and Lindsey sitting at a table near the door. Jessica's eyes narrowed at me as she saw I was walking with Bella. "I didn't know you knew were the library was Cullen," commented Lauren as I opened my mouth to make a comment but Bella beat me to it.

"We're working on a project for health class about Chlamydia. Perhaps you three could help us out since I'm sure you've all dealt with it," she said confidently as I laughed and followed her to a table near the back of the room.

"That was classic," I commented as we tossed our books down and Bella looked at me with a bit of remorse.

"I can't stand those girls. They are bitchy and just… revolting," she said with a nervous smile. "I can't believe Lauren and Jessica got nominated for Homecoming Court. I guess since they've spread their legs for most of the male population of the school they were expected to be nominated, but it's just gross."

"You should have been nominated," I said as I sat down in my seat and pulled out my textbook, flipping to the section about the disease we needed to study. I heard Bella snort loudly as she sat down across from me and pulled her notebook out of her bag. "What? You should have been nominated. I voted for you," I admitted, even though it was a bit of a lie. I would have voted for her with all three nominations if I could have.

"I'm not the Homecoming Court kind of girl. I'll go to the game, the pep rally and the dance and when the night is over, I will be glad to never have to be subjected to that shit again," she said with a small smile. I felt my heart break for her slightly. I wasn't someone who was totally in support of all the crap that happened during Homecoming, but I thought every girl loved that shit.

Bella quickly changed the topic back to our project that we needed to get done and we spent the next hour writing down notes about symptoms, prevention and every single little fact about the disease. By next Friday we had to hand in a five page type report about it and give a presentation to the class, which we were both dreading.

"I can probably get some pamphlets from my father about it to hand out in class. That could get us an extra grade right?" I said with a weak smile as Bella nodded her head.

"Sure. Every little thing counts right? Plus, it would be funny to hand them out. Although I wish I could be there when Newton's mom finds a pamphlet about Chlamydia in her son's backpack." We both laughed casually as I noticed Mrs. Cope the librarian signaling to us that it was almost time to close up.

"We should go."

"Yeah, it is getting late. I want to get home and make my dad dinner before he gets there," said Bella simply and I wondered how often she cooked for her dad. My mother barely let me near the kitchen to eat let alone let me cook something for her. "I will type up all the notes into the report and then we can review it in a few days."

"That's not exactly fair. We should be working on this together," I said hopeful that she could sense my reluctance to stop working on this project. "I should help with the actual report, not just the research. I have football practice tomorrow and Thursday but we could work on it at your place on Wednesday after school if you want."

"Umm… okay."

"Cool. I'll drive you home on Wednesday then," I said with a huge smile on my face. "Do you need a ride home now?"

"Would you mind? Rosalie and Alice left right after class to head to Port Angeles. Apparently Rosalie has to find the perfect dress for Homecoming now that she is part of the Court," said Bella as I nodded my head and rested my hand against her lower back again, guiding her out of the library and towards my beat up old Volvo. I opened up the passenger door for her and cleaned off the seat, tossing a bunch of shit into the back seat, before I would allow her to sit down.

"Sorry the car is a bit of a mess," I said casually as I closed the door behind her and I watched her buckle her seatbelt. I think I was a little in shock that Bella was sitting in my car because a moment later, Bella was smacking me on the hand, reminding me that we had to go home. "Sorry about that."

I ran around to the other side of the car and quickly jumped in. I immediately turned off the stereo as we drove in silence down the road. "You're over on Clover right?" I asked, trying to sound casual when in fact I knew exactly where she lived. Everyone in town knew where Chief Swan lived.

"Yeah," she said quietly as I noticed her hands fidgeting on her lap. "So, are you going to Homecoming with Jessica? I saw you guys talking outside of your classroom after lunch," she said as we pulled up to a stop sign. I looked over at her with surprise. Why the hell would she care who I went with when she was going with Peter?

"Fuck no," I replied caustically. "I'm not even sure if I will be going. I'm sure you'll have a great time with Peter though, he's a great guy," I said through clenched teeth as a horn sounded behind me and I continued driving.

"He seems nice enough," said Bella coolly. "Why wouldn't you go though? I mean, you're nominated and everything… you should go." Just as she finished speaking, we pulled in front of her house and we sat in silence for a moment before she moved to get out of the car. I couldn't just tell her that I wanted to go with her but Peter asked her first, could I?

"I think I have some family thing next weekend," I lied and Bella just nodded her head and unbuckled the seat belt.

"Thanks for the ride. I'll see you in school tomorrow," she said as she stepped out of the car, closing the door firmly behind her. I stayed put, watching her as she walked into the house and closed the front door. Just as I was about to pull away, I saw her father's police cruiser pull into the driveway, blocking me from making a hasty exit.

Sure enough, he got out of his old school Crown Victoria and wandered over to the driver's side of my car. "Good Afternoon Chief Swan, Sir" I said politely as he leaned down and peeked in my car. He was staring intently around the back seat as though he expected to find some sort of grow op or something going on.

"Dr. Cullen's kid right?" he asked gruffly as I nodded my head, a little scared of the man. Sure he was in his early forties, but he could definitely take me in a fight. "What brings you by my house boy?"

"I was dropping Bella off sir. She and I worked on a project for our health class together in the library after school," I said, trying to sound confident though I was certain my voice was cracking like I was just hitting puberty.

"Well, I'm glad to hear it was school related," said Charlie as he leaned in to the car a little bit more and I backed away slightly out of fear. "I'd hate for Bella to get hurt. She has enough going on in her life these days. Thanks for bringing her home son," he finished as he pulled his head out of my car and patted the roof, signaling for me to leave.

I backed the car up a bit and drove away carefully, not exactly eager to get a ticket from the guy who already hated my guts for driving his daughter home. If he knew what I really wanted to do to his little girl, he'd be chasing me away with a shotgun.

**A/N: Here's my rec'd for the day... I Get Off by Britpacksuccubus, Illegal Contact by GreenEyedGirl (your kiss is coming soon bb) and Reality Minus Expecations by mjinaspen (You'll be thanking me for this one once you reach Chapter 5!!)**

**Am I on author alert? I hope so, cause tomorrow night I will be posting Chapter 1 of my collaboration with one of my FF besties, Flightlessbird11, entitled 'Maybe I'm Falling For You'. We've already written the first four chapters and hope to post on a weekly basis.**


	7. My Homecoming Calamity

**A/N: Okay, so I contemplated splitting this up into two chapters but eventually decided against it. Big love to my beta, MaggieMay14, flightlessbird11 and beegurl13 for their help and support with this monster.**

**I don't own Twilight… ah fuck, I don't own much. Let's get to it shall we?**

**BPOV**

"What do you mean he didn't ask you?" asked Alice incredulously as she and Rosalie stood in my bedroom the next morning as we got ready for school. As September drew to a close it was starting to get colder and colder, so gone were the short shorts and jeans were now becoming a staple for the three of us.

"I would think that I was pretty clear when I originally spoke. Edward didn't ask me, so I texted Peter last night before bed and said I would go with him," I said as I tossed on an old Beatles t-shirt and then added a Forks Police Force sweatshirt that actually belonged to Charlie.

"That wasn't the point of my scheming though. The point was for Edward to ask you to go after he got jealous because Peter asked first. Everything was working out perfectly, what the hell happened?" shouted Alice in frustration as I clapped my hand over her mouth to keep her quiet.

"Keep that shit up and Port Angeles will be able to hear your bitching," said Rosalie as she finished putting up her hair into a really nice and polished looking ponytail. "Did you tell Edward that you hadn't said yes to Peter?"

I sat for a moment on the edge of my bed as I pulled on my socks and thought about my conversation with Edward yesterday. He had mentioned me going with Peter, but did I ever tell him I didn't accept? "Fuck beans, I am an idiot," I declared in frustration as I buried my face in my hands.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," said Rosalie with a smug grin. "So what did Edward actually say?"

"He said Peter was a good guy and I would have fun at the dance with him. I asked him if he was going and he said he wasn't sure," I said quickly as I realized my first mistake. I should have told him I hadn't yet accepted Peter's invitation and now it was too late. There was no way I could call Peter and tell him 'No' and that I actually wanted to go with someone else. Especially since I wasn't even sure that someone else wanted to go with me.

"Okay, this is totally fixable. We'll get you a stunning dress for Homecoming and Edward won't know what hit him. We'll make him realize what he is missing and then everything will be perfect," said Alice cheerful and hopeful as she bounced out of the room and down the stairs. "Hurry up you two or we won't have time for breakfast before we need to leave for school."

I stood up reluctantly and I felt Rosalie's arm wrap around my shoulder supportively as she led me out of the room. "We know Edward likes you Bella, that's a given. He'll wise up soon enough."

"Yeah, but I'll probably be dead by then," I said jokingly as Rosalie stopped where she was standing and stared at me with fury in her eyes.

"Don't ever joke about that Isabella Swan."

The next few days at school were awkward at best. At lunch on Tuesday, Peter insisted on joining us at our table now that we were going to the dance together. He was a nice enough guy who seemed really into biology and science, but he wasn't the one I wanted. Every time I found myself looking over at Edward's table, he was picking away at his food or talking with Emmett about something. For the rest of the week he didn't even talk to me unless we were in class or working on our project.

Edward had to reschedule our Wednesday afternoon appointment to work on our project in order to attend football practice. Apparently Coach Clapp didn't think the team was ready for the big Homecoming Game with Clallam Bay and was insisting on practices every day for the rest of the week. Edward, not wanting to let me work on the project by myself, agreed to meet at my place on Sunday afternoon to work together, under the watchful eye of my over protective father of course.

Friday afternoon when school let out Rosalie, Alice and I all headed into Port Angeles in search of the perfect dresses for the dance. Having already gone through the two stores in Forks that might carry a semi-formal dress, they dragged me through every single one in Port Angeles until we were all exhausted and finally had our outfits. I was starting to get worried that we would be spending Saturday heading to Seattle to find something suitable when we came across some perfect outfits in the last store we went to. We managed a quick dinner at a small Italian restaurant and when I got home, I was feeling a bit put out that I had spent $200 on a dress that I would wear for one night. Hardly seemed worth it, especially since Edward wasn't going to be at my side.

Sunday couldn't come fast enough but the moment it arrived, I dreaded it. "Dad, you are going to behave right?" I asked my father as he relaxed in his trusty old green recliner in our living room. I had repeatedly reminded him that Edward was coming over to work on our project for health class, but every time I mentioned it, he acted like it was the first time he was hearing me.

"Yes Bells. I promise, I will be quiet. I'm going to sit here and watch the Seahawks while you guys do your work. Just remember my rule," said Charlie as I rolled my eyes and continued to clean off the dining room table.

"Yeah, yeah. I remember. Stay within your line of sight or within ear shot. You do realize he's not a criminal right?" I asked my dad as I brought him another beer and I heard John Madden start speaking on the TV.

"They are all criminals until proven otherwise sweetie," said Charlie as I kissed his forehead and moved into the dining room, pulling out all of the notes Edward and I had compiled during our last meeting for the project before he arrived.

I was pacing nervously, much to the dismay of an annoyed Charlie, when I heard the slam of a car door outside the house. I withheld the urge to jump to the front door and greet him, waiting patiently for him to the knock on the door instead. When I got there, rain had started to fall outside and Edward looked ten million shades of gorgeous with a little bit of rain water dripping from his hair onto his forehead.

"Hey," he said casually as I opened the door and welcomed him in. "I brought the laptop just like you asked," he added as he held up his arm and underneath it was a computer bag that contained his computer. My current computer was so old even the folks who owned Commodore 64's were laughing at me. I think it was powered by a hamster in a wheel, if I am being honest with you. My father had refused to let Edward into my bedroom to work on the project, so I requested that he bring his laptop so that we could work in the dining room.

"Follow me and we will set it up in the other room," I said casually as directed Edward through the living room to the dining room table. He said a casual hello to my father who grunted in response which made me giggle slightly. "Sorry, the Seahawks are on. There's a rule around this house that you don't interrupt Charlie during the game," I said with a small laugh as Edward nodded his head in understanding. Poor guy had no idea what he was getting into when it came to my father.

"Chief Swan," yelled my father in correction as I rolled my eyes and Edward pulled his computer from the bag and set everything up.

We worked in relative harmony for the first hour, with me offering up the suggestions for the actual text and Edward writing down everything into the computer. During half time, Charlie came into the room and offered us some chips and soda, which we both accepted greedily. "So, what are you kids working on?"

"Chlamydia," said Edward nervously as he turned back to the computer after accepting his Dr. Pepper from my father.

"Excuse me?" said Charlie incredulously, a vein on his neck now beginning to surge as he grew angry. "Why are you learning about that?"

"It's health class Dad. We are leaning about sexually transmitted diseases, not contracting them," I said exasperatingly. "If I ever want to be a nurse, isn't it about time I study health?"

"I'm not against it Bells, it's just a little surprising is all," said Charlie as he mumbled something incoherently as he walked out of the room and back to his recliner.

"Your dad is a bit of a nut isn't he?" asked Edward quietly as I shook my head in agreement. "I didn't know you wanted to be a nurse. My mom is a nurse at my dad's office." I just nodded my head again at Edward as he spoke, because of course everyone knew his parents, just like everyone knew Chief Swan. Dr. Cullen was the primary family physician in town and he had given me every single one of my shots since I was born. He tended to all my skinned knees, broken bones and other ailments while I grew up.

"Yeah, I've wanted to be a nurse since I was little," I replied casually as Edward took a sip of his drink and buried his head back in the computer. I was a little relieved he didn't pursue the questioning about my career aspirations. In fact, I didn't even bother to ask him what he wanted to be when he graduated college for this fact alone.

Edward and I finished our report around five and Charlie actually invited him to stay for dinner which was a shock. Of course, we were ordering in which was our typical Sunday night routine, so it's not like Charlie was going out of his way to accommodate him. Edward declined, saying that his mother was making a pot roast and he was eager to get home, so after he packed up his computer, I walked him outside.

"Thanks for coming over and getting this done. I am sure you had better things to do with your Sunday afternoon," I said as the screen door slammed shut behind us and Edward motioned with his hand for me to follow him down to his car. Of course, I went.

"I wanted to talk to you about something," he said as he opened the car door and put his laptop on the passenger seat. I couldn't help but smile when I noticed his Volvo was suddenly spotless inside. I waited patiently for him to talk as I leaned up against his car, my heart beating out of my chest because the last time he wanted to talk to me about something alone, he had attempted to kiss me. _Oh God, please let him kiss me again. My breath smells good, I promise. _"I wanted to apologize for almost kissing you last weekend at Rosalie's place."

_That_ was not what I was expecting.

"Oh." Shit, I couldn't figure something better to say than 'oh'? _Good job there Bella._

"I know our friends are all dating now and everything, so we will inevitably be forced to hang out and shit, so I didn't want things to be awkward at all between us," Edward said with what sounded like a small sigh. I nodded my head in agreement, unable to form any sort of coherent sentence and bid him goodnight as I watched him get into his car and drive away.

I sat on the small wooden swing on the patio, my arms wrapped around my chest as I tried to come to grips with the fact that any small glimmer of hope I had during the past week of me and Edward becoming a couple had disappeared. I hated to admit that when Emmett confessed that Edward was interested in me last Saturday, my heart had swelled at the thought that we felt the same about each other. However, know that I knew that Edward didn't actually want me was like a punch to the gut by a prizefighter. I watched with tear stained eyes as the red sky turned to black and I groaned when I heard Charlie come out the front door, the screen clattering loudly against the door jamb.

"When did Edward leave?" he asked as he sat beside me and draped his arm over my shoulder. I rested my head against his comforting chest and breathed in the calming scent of my father. Even when I was younger and our life was in nothing less than turmoil, Charlie was my rock. Sure, I didn't confess everything to him these days like I had when I was nine years old, but the connection between us was so strong that he could sense things without me speaking. As a teenage girl, I wasn't sure I really liked the unspoken connection between us anymore, it was a little daunting.

"I dunno. What time is it?" I asked coolly.

"It's almost six. I ordered us dinner already, pizza from Gino's," he said with a slight grin as he patted my shoulder. "You like him don't you?"

I turned my head and looked up into the tired eyes of my father. I don't think he had gotten a good night's rest since the day I was born. "No," I muttered indifferently as my father let out what sounded like a huge sigh of relief. Charlie had enough to worry about in his life, he didn't need to sit here and listen to the emotional ramblings of his teenage daughter.

"You're a terrible liar Bells, but if it makes any difference, he seems like a good kid. Is he the one taking you to the dance next Saturday?" he asked as I felt his hand move soothingly along my shoulder. Charlie was appeared to be the strong but silent type to the people who he served in the community, but when it came to me, Charlie was all knowing and anything but quiet. I didn't even need to talk to him and he could sense my emotions about certain things, which was both a good and a bad thing. However when he wanted to talk to me, he didn't mince words. He was always very blunt and honest, which I appreciated.

"No," I muttered again as I felt Charlie's chest slowly rising and falling with his breaths. "I'm going with some linebacker named Peter Green. I think his father owns the Chrysler dealership." I felt Charlie nod his head beside me and we sat for the next twenty minutes in peace until our pizza delivery arrived. Charlie and I had an odd relationship where we always protected each other, which I think was due in part to my mother leaving us when I was so young. After dinner, I gave Charlie a kiss on the forehead and headed upstairs to finish up some reading for English class before heading to bed. Too bad thinking about Edward and his rejection of me made it more difficult for me to get the sleep I so desperately needed.

The next week at school was absolutely crazy. It was Spirit Week and every single day of the week we were forced to dress in something crazy, which made getting ready in the morning before school a hell of a lot easier. My favorite day was Pajama Day because on Monday morning it meant no effort was needed for once in my life, but Alice and Rosalie still managed to make it difficult for me, insisting I try to wear something slightly sexy to attract Edward. I settled for a cute white pant and tank top set covered in cherries, which Rosalie said was ripe with sexual innuendo.

Wednesday was also easy to get dressed for because it was 'future occupation day' and we were supposed to dress like the person we wanted to be when we were older. I bought some cheap ass scrubs down at Wal-Mart and was ready to go. Alice dressed up like a businesswoman because she said she wanted to own her own business one day and Rosalie was a mechanic, which was no surprise. We all giggled incessantly when we arrived at school and noticed that Emmett was dressed like a pimp straight out of the 70's, complete with a huge hat topped off with a feather. Edward hadn't dressed up. He didn't dress up all week actually, unless you count Friday where all the football players were forced to wear their jerseys for the pep rally that afternoon.

Ah the pep rally, one of the world's most vicious beasts in my humble opinion. Sure, we got out of our last period class, but we were forced to sit on the uncomfortable bleachers in the gym and listen to the annoyingly perky cheerleaders and try to pump the football team up for the game. Rosalie, Alice and I always sat in the back row, making fun of everything happening and today was no different. The only thing that changed was when the football players were introduced, Alice and Rosalie cheered happily for Jasper and Emmett. That was it.

"Jessica's tits look even more lopsided from a distance, as if that is even possible," commented Rosalie as the football team took their seats and the cheerleaders tried to entertain the crowd as we waited for Coach Clapp to speak.

"Did you see Lauren's ass in her cheerleading skirt. She looks like she's gained at least ten pounds since school started and all of it is in her butt," commented Alice as I look across the gym and saw Edward staring at me. I shook my head and leaned back against the cold brick wall behind me, closing my eyes as my classmates cheered on the end of the cheerleaders' performance.

"Do you think Lindsey stuffs her bra?" asked Rosalie as I tried to drown out the conversation between my friends.

"Well, she is dating Kirk and everyone knows he stuffs his Speedos, so it's very possible," giggled Alice as the gym grew silent when some of the teachers moved towards the podium.

Coach Clapp was introduced and he began espousing the virtues of football and Forks High's Students while trying to rally the school to cheer on his players. Emmett, being the quarterback, was given the chance to give a speech but the moment he began cursing, Clapp pulled him back amid the boos of the crowd that had been hanging on his every word.

"I wish Clapp had let him talk. I bet him ten bucks he wouldn't be able to say penis in his speech," laughed Rosalie as Alice and I chuckled beside her.

"That would have been classic," I replied stoically as both girls looked at me curiously.

"Hey look Rosalie, Bella finally showed up," stated Alice as I punched her on the shoulder in frustration. "I was starting to wonder when you would join in the fun. You never even helped us make fun of Tanya when she smacked herself in the head during a high kick."

"Shit," I said with a shrug of my shoulders. "That would have been nice to see. I should have paid more attention. She didn't get a bloody nose did she?"

"Unfortunately no. What's wrong?" questioned Rosalie as I looked over at her and noticed she was looking at me rather sadly. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Edward apologized the other day for kissing me. I don't think it hit even hit me until I was sitting here watching him with the rest of the team," I admitted as Rosalie wrapped her arm over my shoulder supportively. "I think Emmett was drunk when he told us that Edward liked me."

"Emmett is a lot of things, a jackass, a comedian, an oral sex aficionado and an amateur porn star but he is not a liar," said Rosalie confidently. I looked up at her and she nodded her head slowly at me before I glanced back down at the football team. Edward was staring at me and Peter, who was sitting two seats over from him, waved happily to me under the misconception that he had caught my attention. I stupidly waved back and watched in confusion as Edward turned and looked at Peter, glaring at him angrily. "Look at Edward right now, Bella. If he wasn't sitting in front of everyone mere hours before the big game, he'd be beating the shit out of Peter for even looking at you."

"Great, so Edward is possessive of me but he doesn't actually want me? Lovely, it's like having the big brother I always wanted," I deadpanned as Alice groaned beside me.

"He'll pull his head out of his ass one day," she stated as the rally was called to an end, some confetti fell from the ceiling and we all started filing out of the gym. Rosalie and Alice came back to my house when the day was done and we got ready for the game. Rosalie and Ali got decked out in old jerseys that belonged to Jasper and Emmett and I simply pulled my hair into a ponytail and put on my worn out Forks High School sweatshirt, which was all I could muster in the way of school spirit. After a quick dinner of tacos with Charlie, we made our way back to the football field for the game, assuming seats closer to the front so that Alice and Rosalie could wave and blow kisses to their boys. It was vomit inducing and I cringed the entire time until Peter came over to talk to me before the game officially started.

"Hey, nice shirt," he said with a wink as I raised my eye brows at him in surprise. "I just wanted to let you know I'll be at your place around seven to pick you up tomorrow night. You're the white house on Clover right?"

"Yeah," I said casually as he suddenly moved his hand up to slip some loose tendrils of hair behind my ear. It was a simple yet sweet gesture that seemed to impress Rosalie and Alice more than me. "Seven sounds fine."

"Great, I'll see you then and maybe after the game," he said with a wink before sneaking in and kissing me softly on the cheek. I wanted to cringe but when I noticed Edward fuming from the sidelines after Peter had walked away, I felt a small satisfactory grin cross my face.

**EPOV**

If we weren't five minutes from starting the Homecoming game, I would be over in Peter's face, attempting to snap his neck like a twig. What the fuck did he think he was doing? I stared angrily at Bella for a moment, even though she wasn't who I was directing my anger towards and was livid when a small smile crossed her face after Peter had walked away. Please tell me she hadn't enjoyed that shit.

The game was boring at best. Clallam Bay's best players had apparently graduated last spring, so we were left with their second string players who didn't seem to put much effort into the game. In my position as wide receiver, I managed to catch ninety percent of the passes Emmett threw to me and two of them I managed to run in for touchdowns. When the game ended, we ended up winning 28 to 7.

The crowd of classmates and parents rushed onto the field and I noticed Bella standing beside Peter and his parents, no doubt being introduced to them since they were going to the dance together. My parents were unable to come so I gathered up my gear and headed right to the locker room, hoping to avoid some of the group before I left to head home for the night.

"Are you going tomorrow night, man?" asked Emmett when he came into the room a few minutes later and began peeling his jersey and padding off. Jasper, Newton and a few other players were right behind him.

"I don't know," I admitted reluctantly. My mother had my suit dry cleaned and it was hanging over my closet door because she held out hope I was going to go. I hadn't even worn the suit since my grandfather's funeral earlier in the year. "There's no reason for me to go."

"You're nominated for Homecoming King, even though I know I will win," shouted Emmett confidently as he raised his hands in the air triumphantly.

"The quarterback always wins douche bag. What will you do if Jessica 'crazy tits' Stanley wins Queen? You do realize you will have to dance with her right," I said with a smirk as Emmett shook his head vehemently.

"I will demand a recount stating there must have been a computer glitch or some hanging chads from the ballots and then I will dance with Rosalie," stated Emmett with a loud laugh as I shoved my uniform into my duffle bag and slung it over my shoulder. Jasper and Emmett were going out with Rosalie, Alice and Bella after the game and I decided not to go with them, trying to spare myself further heart fail. "We're only going to Dairy Queen man, you should come with us."

"No thanks, I have to head on home. Family shit," I muttered as I walked out of the locker room and headed straight to the parking lot. Thankfully I didn't see Bella as I went to my car otherwise I might have been convinced to go out with them.

When I got home, my mother was in the kitchen in a pair of scrubs that had seen better days. "You finally killed dad?" I asked with a smirk as I pointed towards her clothes that seemed to be covered in blood.

"No, I finally killed some tomatoes from the garden," she replied as she noticed my duffle bag and her eyes lit up with disappointment. "I am so sorry we missed your game honey. Your dad is still at the hospital with Mr. Johansen who suffered a stroke this morning."

"Its fine Mom," I admitted as I tossed the bag to the corner of the room and I went over to give her a kiss on the cheek. I wasn't upset that my parents weren't able to come to the game, because it was a regular occurrence in the life of Edward Cullen. The well being of the citizens of Forks took precedence over everything else sometimes and I understood that. Do I wish it was different? Sure, of course I did. I wished my parents were there to give me a congratulatory hug like Emmett and Jasper both received from their parents, but I had come to grips with their absenteeism a long time ago. They may not be at every game, but I knew they loved me and wished they were there.

"Did you guys win?"

"Yeah, 28 to 7. They sucked pretty badly," I admitted with a smug grin. "I think our equipment manager and mascot could have beaten them by themselves with one hand tied behind their backs."

"Well, I'm glad you guys won," she said as she patted me on the back and opened up the fridge. "Do you want me to make you something for dinner? We have some chicken pot pie left over from last night." I nodded my head easily as I watched my mom work her way around the kitchen, reheating me a plate of leftovers. I had eaten a quick burger with some of the guys from the team before the game, but I was suddenly ravenous now that the game was done and I was home.

"Can I ask you something about girls?" I asked curiously as my mother slid my plate in front of me and poured me a big glass of milk to wash it all down with. After she handed me my drink, she sat across from me at the table, her eyes wide with curiosity. "I like this girl, but she is going to the dance tomorrow night with someone else."

"Okay. Are you going to tell me who the girl is?" my mother asked as she tapped her finger nails against the kitchen table.

"No, because you know everything about every teenage girl in this town. If I told you who she was, you'd probably tell me she wasn't suitable because of her blood type or the results of her most recent physical," I said with a tentative laugh as my mother grinned. I knew my mother would never reveal confidential patient information to me, but the way she would scowl or glare would certainly be just as bad. "Anyways… I was going to ask her to Homecoming, but this other guy beat me to it. He's a nice enough guy but every time I see him I want to punch him in the thorax as hard as I can."

"So, you are jealous of the guy taking the girl you like to the big dance?" asked my mother with a snicker as I narrowed my eyes at her. "Sorry to make light of this. I just never thought I would see the day that my son came to me for romantic advice."

"Yeah well, I guess you didn't get the memo about hell freezing over," I said with a chuckle as my mom picked up a few pieces of paper on the table and searched through them jokingly.

"Nope. I must have missed that one," she said with a gentle laugh that I always loved.

"Okay… so here's my thought about the girl. I could go Homecoming tomorrow and ask her for a dance and tell her how I feel about her or I could not go to the dance, wait until all this homecoming sh... umm… stuff is over with and then tell her. Telling her that I like her is the right way to go, right?" I asked as I closed my eyes, waiting patiently for a response from my mom and feeling slightly mortified for asking her in the first place. Before she could answer though, I briefly told her about the kiss and how I apologized for it and she looked at me as though I was a complete idiot.

"Edward, you have a lot to learn about women."

"Do they have one of those 'Women for Dummies' books that I can buy? Cause you are stating the obvious and I am looking for some serious help here mom," I said coolly as my mother broke into laughter.

"If you want my honest advice, I think you should go to the dance and tell her how you feel. First thing you should do is take back your apology for trying to kiss her because you are clearly not apologetic about it at all," she said as I nodded my head and took a huge bite of the chicken pot pie in front of me. "I don't think you should wait to tell her either because, what if she goes to the dance with this boy and spends the entire time dancing with him and decides she likes him? What would happen then?"

"I would be in an orange jumpsuit picking up trash on the side of the road cause I would have to kill him."

"That's not funny Edward," said Esme with a sigh as I bowed my head slightly after being chastised by her. "Don't let the opportunity pass you by. I was dating someone else when I met your father and he pursued me relentlessly until I finally gave up. Twenty two years later, here we are, happily married with a smart aleck son."

My heart started beating out of my chest as my mother spoke. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I want to go on a date with her not pick out china patterns."

"Edward, true love hits you when you least expect it. You could be at the grocery store feeling up melons," she said seriously as I broke out into a nervous laughter at the mere mention of feeling up melons. "Grow up Edward. I'm trying to tell you that true love doesn't wait for the right time to come into your life. It comes when you don't expect it and sometimes don't necessarily want it, so just sit back and enjoy the ride."

"I don't think this is true love. Probably just some high school crush and once the year is over with I'll go away to school like I always planned," I said casually as my mother looked at me disbelievingly.

"Do you really think that this is just some crush Edward? You've never asked me about any other girl before today and you've never had a serious girlfriend. Don't you think there is a bit more to this since you are putting in so much effort?" asked my mother as I stood up from the table and rinsed off my empty plate before putting it the dishwasher.

"I don't know."

"Whatever it is that you decide to do Edward, just follow your heart. It will always lead you in the right direction," she said with a smug grin.

"Thanks for listening though mom," I added as I picked my duffle bag and kissed her on the temple before heading off to bed.

"Oh Edward, just one more question… who's the girl?" she asked again as I rubbed the back of my neck with my hand, deciding to just get it over with.

"Bella Swan." My mother didn't say anything in response; she simply smiled and nodded her head before going back to cleaning the kitchen. Her silence was almost deafening though and I found myself staring at my suit all night long and wondering what my mother's opinion of Bella really was.

When I walked into the gym at school it was just before eight o'clock and I couldn't help but notice various people looking at me because I was flying solo for the night. I headed straight towards the front of the gym, working my way through the throng of dancing teenagers as I tried to see Jasper and Emmett anywhere. I was sure that if I found them, Rosalie, Alice and subsequently Bella wouldn't be far behind.

I was almost tempted to stand up on the bleachers surrounding the floor when I saw Emmett out of the corner of my eye, walking towards me with Rosalie on his arm and looking very smug. "Cullen, I didn't think you would show."

"Glutton for punishment," I said with a sigh as I nodded at Rosalie. "You look pretty tonight."

"Thanks, Edward," she said with a sigh as she smoothed down her red dress and I noticed her eyes darting around the room, no doubt looking for Alice or Bella. "You look handsome yourself."

"Yeah well, thank my mother for this," I said as I noticed Bella and Peter out of the corner of my eye dancing to some horribly slow Kenny Chesney song. "Has it been country music all night?"

"Unfortunately," added Emmett with a groan as the song ended and Bella, Peter, Jasper and Alice all made their way over to us. Emmett couldn't stand country and preferred to listen to hard core rap but I could listen to virtually anything as long as it either had great lyrics or a good beat. As everyone approached us, I felt like the seventh wheel in their small group and my heart sank when I noticed the big smile on Bella's face as her arm intertwined through Peters. Her smile instantly evaporated when she saw me standing beside Emmett though.

"Glad you could make it Cullen," said Jasper as he patted me on the back and I simply nodded my head at him. We all sat down on the bleachers for the next song and when Peter disappeared to go get Bella a drink, I moved over a seat and jumped at the chance to talk to her for a minute.

"Can I talk to you outside for a second?" I whispered to her as I tried not to look down the v-neck of her midnight blue dress which clung to her tiny body perfectly.

"Peter will be back any minute, so I don't think it's a good idea," she mumbled quietly, though I could see the remorse in her eyes for rejecting me.

"I promise it will only take a minute," I said as I grabbed her hand and pulled her with me, out the double doors at back of the gym. I didn't really give a shit if everyone, including Peter, saw us leave. I only needed two minutes to say my piece and then I could deal with the consequences.

"I really don't think this is a good idea," sighed Bella once we were outside in the slightly cool night air.

"If I don't say it now while I know what I want to say, I'll never say it," I began to say as Bella quirked her eye brow at the incoherent babble currently coming out of my mouth. "I am taking back my apology from last Sunday outside your house. I don't apologize for trying to kiss you. I would try again right now if I didn't think you would knee me in the junk."

"You are so fucking infuriating."

"Yeah, so I've been told," I said with a small and nervous laugh. "I'm sorry I didn't ask you to the dance the day we almost kissed. I wanted to ask you, but I was scared and didn't, so I'm clearly an idiot in addition to being infuriating. I was going to ask you on Monday but you were already going with Peter."

"I didn't say yes to Peter till Monday night after we worked on the project," said Bella coolly as I my hand reached up and involuntarily smacked me on the head.

"Shit. I'm a fucking moron."

"I have one question for you Edward and then I'm going back inside to my date," said Bella apprehensively. Her hands were fidgeting with her sequined purse and I wanted to grab them and make them stop, but I knew if I touched her, I would then try to kiss her again and I could tell she wasn't exactly ready for that. "What do you want from me?"

"I'd like a date with you but I think tonight I'll settle for a dance," I said with a half hearted smile that I hoped was tugging on her heart strings and weakening her resolve. Bella didn't respond though, opting instead to simply shake her head at me and head back inside to the dance. I waited a few minutes and snuck back in through a different door, hoping that I wouldn't call attention to myself or her.

I watched from the back of the room as Bella and Peter danced together a few more times and then stood with the rest of our friends as the teachers on the stage prepared to announce the Homecoming Court. They called all six of us nominees onto the stage and when I went up, I stood between Peter and Emmett, waiting impatiently for all of this to be over with.

"This year's Homecoming King is… Emmett McCarty," announced Mrs. Cope as Emmett bent slightly and accepted the crown. I clapped eagerly for him, simply because I was glad I wasn't in his shoes. I definitely didn't want to be him if Lauren or Jessica was crowned queen. I watched in anticipation as Emmett grabbed the microphone and began to make an impromptu speech.

"I'd like to thank each and every one of you who voted for me. Those of you who didn't should know that I know who you are and plan to beat the crap out of each of you after school on Monday," laughed Emmett as Mrs. Cope pulled the microphone away from him and glared at him angrily.

"Thank you for that interesting threat of pain Mr. McCarty," she announced as I hear Emmett casually mutter 'no problem' to her and I shook my head and laughed. "Now this year's Homecoming Queen is… Rosalie Hale." The crowd of students erupted into loud cheers and claps, led by Emmett and I started to walk off of the stage as she was given her crown and gave a simple yet sincere 'thank you' as her speech.

The DJ announced that the Homecoming Court needed to step onto the floor for a dance, but the last person I wanted to dance with was Lauren or Jessica, so stepped out into the hallway and waited out the next ten minutes in awkward silence. Just as I was about to walk back into the overheated room, Jasper found me in the hallway.

"What on earth are you doing? Jessica was looking for you like a mad woman possessed when it was time for the Homecoming Court to dance," he said with a mischievous smirk on his face. "It was pretty fucking funny. There may or may not have been smoke coming out of her ears."

"Yeah, I'm sorry I missed that," I said as I leaned back against the row of lockers behind me and Jasper looked at me with a hint of concern. "I told Bella I wanted to go out on a date with her."

"What did she say?"

"Nothing. That's why I'm out here being all emo while she is inside dancing with Peter," I admitted sadly.

"She's not in there," said Jasper as I quirked my eye brow at him, both in curiosity and concern. "She told Peter that she wasn't feeling very good and asked him to take her home."

"When the fuck was this?" I asked in frustration as Jasper backed away from me, no doubt thinking I was about to hit him.

"Like five minutes ago. Not long after the Homecoming Court dance was done," said Jasper as Alice peeked her head out of the door to see if we were finished talking. I patted Jasper on the back and made a mad dash to the parking lot to find that sure enough, Peter's shitty old Toyota Camry was gone from its spot. I hopped in my Volvo and made quick time over to Clover Street, where I parked across the street, watching Bella's house for any signs of life.

Chief Swan's car was in the driveway, but since it was nearing eleven, I figured he was probably asleep. I saw the light go on in the front bedroom window, the large tree in front hiding the room slightly, but if I leaned back in my seat, I could see movement within the room. I felt like a fucking stalker as I watched Bella move towards the window, her blue dress clinging tightly to her small body as I watched her stare out into the night. She opened the window slightly to let the cool air into her room. Without any second thought, the moment she turned away from her window, I grabbed my iPod and got out of my car as I ran across the street to her front yard like a madman possessed. I looked down at my suit and up at the tree and decided to just do it. My mother would understand if it got ripped or scuffed right?

I didn't care; I just climbed the tree as best as I could, hooking my dress shoes onto a small branch that I was shocked actually held my weight as I latched my hands onto a much larger branch and pulled myself up. I awkwardly moved my body along the thick branch until I was able to reach her window ledge and I pushed it open as I crawled into her room through her window, landing awkwardly on her hardwood floor.

I held back a laugh as I saw Bella in her formal dress clutching a baseball bat while pressed against her bedroom door. "What in the hell are you doing here?" she asked quietly, no doubt trying not to disturb her sleeping father. "I thought you were some fucking burglar or something and I was about to have some batting practice with your skull. Now get back out that window before I beat whatever fucking brains you have left out of your head Edward."

"No," I said confidently as I stood up and wiped the bark and dirt off of me, proud that my suit was still in one piece. "You owe me a dance."

"You fucking scaled my oak tree because you wanted a dance? You are something else, do you know that?" she asked as I shook my head knowingly.

"Yeah, I know," I said with a smirk as I moved closer to her and found that I wasn't deterred even though she clutched a baseball bat in her small hands. "Can I have that?" I asked as I pointed at the bat and she put it down against the door frame beside her instead of giving it to me as I had asked. "Now can I have your hand?"

"No."

"One dance Bella? That's it. Then I'll climb back out the window and you can go back to hating me," I stated as I remained glued to my spot in front of her, my hands outstretched waiting for her to take them from me.

She gave me a little smile as I reached into my pocket and pulled out my iPod, picking the song 'Then' by Brad Paisley and putting one ear bud in my ear. I offered the other one to her and as she took it from me, I offered her my hands again. "I'll still hate you while we dance."

"Fair enough," I said with a shit eating grin on my face as I she put her small hand in mine and I pulled her closer to me. I wrapped my hand firmly around her waist and held her body against mine as tight as I could. We moved at a snail's pace around the room, dancing in an awkward circle like most teenagers do and halfway through the song, I noticed Bella's body wasn't as tense as I had been when I first held her. Her left hand moved to rest against my lower back and she suddenly rested her head against my chest. I honestly felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest in excitement.

I reached up and gently touched her hair which was in loose curls that fell down to the middle of her back. I ran my fingers tentatively through the dark brown mass and I listened intently to the sound of her breathing, not the music. It felt like a natural progression, but our feet had stopped moving and we were simply holding each other, tenderly touching and listening to the music.

_We'll look back someday at this moment we're in. _

_And I'll look at you and say, _

_And I thought I loved you then._

When the song ended, Bella lifted her head up slightly from my chest and I could see her eyes were red and puffy, she had clearly been crying. "I'm sorry," I muttered as I held her face in my hands and wiped a tear away from her cheek languidly. My fingers burning in excitement from her touch.

"For what?" she asked quietly and I swore I could see my emotions running wild in her beautiful dark brown eyes. She felt the same way I did. I knew she did.

"For this," I said almost in a whisper as I leaned forward and touched my lips to hers. It wasn't a hard crashing of desperate emotions, although in that moment I definitely felt desperate. It was simply an exchange of tenderness and declarations of adoration. Bella's eyes were firmly closed as I drew my tongue out and ran it slowly along her bottom lip, which she opened willingly before I pressed my lips against hers again.

I felt Bella's hands reach up to the back of my neck and she stood on her tip toes as she tried to further our kiss. Bella look my bottom lip into her mouth and I felt her sucking and nibbling on it softly with her teeth, which caused me to groan lightly. I eyed the bed directly behind us, thinking this would work so much better if she was on her back and I was hovering over her, but neither of us was ready for that. I felt her tongue slip past my open lips and sucked on it eagerly, resulting in a low moan from Bella which went straight to my cock in the most painful yet pleasing way.

"We have to stop this," I said as I gripped her shoulders and pushed her back from me. Her eyes were clouded with confusion as I admired the redness of her lips, pleased with myself for making her look so goddamned sexy. My thumb pressed firmly against her mouth, moving slowly as I leaned forward and kissed the tears from her cheeks before I rubbed some of the wetness from her face. "If we don't stop now, your father will come in here and shoot me. How the fuck will I get to take you on a date then?"

**A/N: That was officially my longest chapter ever and the next one is just as fricking long. Yeah for my readers, right?**

**So my story Follow Through was recently reviewed on the Southern Fan Fiction Review Blog, there's a link on my profile page so go visit it. She's referenced a lot of great stories and has some awesome reviews on there. There's also a link to the girls Homecoming dresses on there.**

**If you aren't one of the seven hundred and thirty readers that have me on author alert, you probably didn't notice that I had a new story posted on Sunday. A collaboration with flightlessbird11 called 'Maybe I'm Falling For You'. Go check it out. We will be posting again on Sunday or possibly earlier if you are lucky. It's basically You've Got Mail meets Friends meets 500 Days of Summer, so hurry on over there and review.**

**Here's a story rec for you guys: It Was Only His Baby by Juliamine. It deals with an A/B pairing, so be forewarned, but it evolves into much more. It's very well written so go take a look.**

**Speaking of reviews… did you like it? Finally some kissing action. There's even more hotness in the next chapter so hit review and maybe I'll offer up a teaser. MAYBE! LOL. I guess you'll never know unless you review right?**


	8. My Sunday Afternoon

**A/N: So I'm going away for the long weekend and since I am that nice, here's an update for your Labor Day weekend. I think I deserve extra reviews for pushing this out at 1:21am. LOL.**

**Special thanks to the usual crew, MaggieMay14 (who now has a blog to recommend awesome fics, link on my profile page), flightlessbird11 and beegurl13 (my newbie pre-reader). **

**I don't own twilight, I do have 7 Cabbage Patch Kids lying on my floor in what looks like a mass suicide scene.**

**BPOV**

I lay in my bed in my pajamas and stared at my ceiling. I had been staring at the same non-existent spot since Edward had snuck out of my window just past one this morning. According to the clock it was now nine thirty and I hadn't slept at all. Not one single wink. So much had changed last night, all for the better, but I couldn't help the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. _Stop overanalyzing everything and just enjoy the fact that you have a date with Edward next week!_

A soft knock on my door woke me from my reverie as I heard Charlie cough behind the door. "Are you decent Bells?"

"Yeah Dad," I said sleepily as I pulled my purple comforter up around my chest and kicked the blankets around a bit to make it seem like I had slept last night. He tentatively opened the door and I couldn't help but laugh as I noticed he was wearing his fishing vest that was covered in his favorite lures. "Going fishing?" I couldn't help but here the voice of comedian Bill Engvall as I pointed out the obvious, 'Here's your Sign.' I was a little ashamed to admit that Charlie had me watch the Blue Collar Comedy Tour a little too often recently. He was a big fan of Larry the Cable Guy, though he would never admit it in public.

"Yeah, the weather is supposed to remain clear all day so Billy and I are going out in his boat with Harry today. I should be back before dinner, so just order the usual pizza for us from Gino's and pay with the cash I left on the dining room table, alright?" asked Charlie, the concern clear in his voice. "Are you sure you will be okay staying home alone today?"

"I'll be fine dad. I'm eighteen years old now. I think I can manage to take care of myself for a few measly hours. I'll probably just invite the girls over to watch movies or something," I said with a grin, knowing full well if I was inviting anyone over it would be Edward.

"Okay, well I'm gonna go then. If you need anything call Sue. I'm sure she'll be able to help you," he said with a genuine smile as he headed out of the room, closing the door behind him. I buried my body into my comforter, reveling in the softness of the fabric against my skin. The moment I heard his cruiser pull out of the driveway, I grabbed my cell phone and called Edward.

"Jasper, if you tell me anything about you going fast or being number one, I swear I will kick your ass so fucking hard you won't be able to sit down for a week," said Edward drowsily as I let out a small giggle.

"Good morning Edward," I said sweetly as I heard a low grunt followed by a very loud 'ow'. "Are you alright?" I asked, as I tried to muffle the laughter that was threatening to spill out. I heard some rustling of his sheets before he finally answered me.

"I'm fine just fell out of bed and am surprised to get your call at um… nine thirty seven in the morning," he said simply as I twisted my hands around my comforter nervously. I wanted to invite him over to do … well anything really, but this was all so new to me I could feel myself wanting to vomit as we spoke. "Maybe I should ask you if you are alright."

"Yeah… I'm all good. My dad left to go fishing this morning and I wanted to know if you wanted to come over and watch a movie or something," I said quickly, unsure if he even understood what the hell I was saying.

"What time?"

"Whenever you want."

"Five minutes good with you?" he asked enthusiastically. My heart beat out of my chest as I heard Edward jump off of his bed and land with a thud on the floor again. "I'm putting on my jeans now, I'll be there really soon."

"Well, don't injure yourself or anyone else in your effort to get here. I'm not going anywhere," I said with a laugh into the phone. It would be my dumb luck to have Edward get into a car accident on his way here. I heard Edward grunt incoherently before we hung up the phone and I laid my head back against my pillows, trying to compose myself before he arrived.

When I heard his car door slam outside, I was jolted from my thoughts and pissed at myself for losing track of time. I ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth as quick as I could and looked at myself in the mirror. I was somewhat presentable even though I was still in my pajamas. I didn't even have time to get changed because I had been too busy daydreaming, so when I heard him knocking on the door, I ran down the stairs and whipped open the front door a little too enthusiastically.

I couldn't help but grin at the image before me as Edward stood at my door. His hair was a bronze mess and his long sleeved button up wasn't even buttoned properly, which made me giggle. His boxer shorts were coming out of the top of his jeans and his fly was open. "Did you even look in a mirror?" I asked as he shuffled in and greeted me with the sexiest smile I had ever seen in my entire life.

"My mother said something about me grabbing a coat when I ran out the door, but I didn't care. I even left my cell phone and wallet at home because I was so eager to see you again. Don't tell your dad I drove here without my license." Edward's hands found my hip and he kicked the kitchen front door closed with his foot as he leaned in to give me a kiss.

Gone was the gentle kiss from the night before and in its place was a kiss laced with passion and desperation. Edward's hands gripped tightly onto me as he pushed our bodies against the living room wall, an old photo of me from the third grade, banging above us as he pressed his lips firmly against mine and I let out a little squeal of excitement.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he pulled away from me for a moment and looked at me with an intensity I had never seen before.

"Yeah, I just… I never thought I'd be standing here kissing you. I didn't even sleep last night because I thought if I woke up last night would be a dream," I admitted a little nervously as Edward gripped my hand in his and he led me over to the couch in the living room. Edward sat down and I sat across from him, unsure of exactly how to proceed, but he moved closer till we were touching and he was unconsciously easing my nerves.

"I promise you that last night was not a dream, although I have to admit I have had many dreams about you," he said with a devious smirk. I licked my lips involuntarily and stared into his luscious green eyes, hoping to calm myself somewhat. "Whatever it is that you want us to be, I just want you to know that I am all in. Whether it's just friends, friends with benefits or us dating exclusively, I'm in."

I looked up at Edward and felt like tears were going to burst forth at any minute now. This was surely a dream right? I finally passed out from exhaustion when Charlie left and I was completely imagining Edward saying he wanted to date me. Exclusively. I pinched myself and let out a low 'ouch'. _Holy shit, Edward wants to date me._

"Yes Bella, I want to date you. Is that so hard to believe?" he asked as my eyes widened in embarrassment. He reached his hand up and swept some of my hair off of my shoulder, revealing my neck to him and I was certain there was a vein on my neck about to burst in mortification.

"I said that out loud?"

"Yeah, you didn't mean to?" he said with a small laugh and I shook my head in the negative.

"Nope. I think my lack of sleep is affecting my verbal filter," I said slowly as Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him.

"Why don't we just catch a nap here on the couch for a little bit?" he suggested sweetly as I nodded my head. Edward lay down on his side, practically falling off the edge of the couch and patted the spot between him and the back of the sofa. I was a bit nervous, but I followed suit and soon enough I was wrapped in his arms, my head buried into his chest and we fell asleep within moments.

"Holy shit. What do we have here?" I heard a voice exclaim as I jumped up and stood on the couch and felt remorseful as I noticed Edward had just fallen to the ground in my haste. Rosalie and Alice stood before us, both of them with their hands on their hips and looking like a pair of angry superheroes.

"We were catching up on some sleep, that was it," I said with a sigh as I reached my hand down and helped Edward up from the floor. I looked up at my friends, who both had big smirks of satisfaction on their faces and I couldn't help but be relieved that it was them and not Charlie who had found us. I had been sleeping so soundly beside Edward that had the girls not arrived, Charlie would have definitely found us and who knows what would have happened then.

"Do you usually sleep with Edward's hand on your ass?" laughed Alice as I glared at her through narrowed eyes. _His hand had been on my ass? I slept through that shit. Jesus Christ_. I heard Edward cough slightly at being caught with his hand on the cookie jar and suddenly felt the desire to protect him from my homicidal best friends.

"What in the hell are you two doing over here? I don't recall inviting you," I said snidely as I sat comfortably on the couch and Edward sat right beside me, his knee touching mine which made me a bit giddy. I glanced over at him quickly and Edward gave me a reassuring smile as I withheld the need to squeal like a fan girl since he was beside me.

Alice looked at me with surprise in her eyes for even questioning her. "When have we ever needed an invitation? We've been coming and going in this house since the fourth grade. Hell, Charlie is more of a dad to us than either of our own fathers," she stated firmly as she then sat herself down in Charlie's old recliner and looked at us as though she was about to interrogate us. "So… when did this happen?"

I let out a loud chuckle and stood up, grabbing Alice's hand in mine as I walked into the kitchen. "I'll be right back Edward," I called out to him as I shoved Alice and Rosalie onto the front porch. I was suddenly freezing since I was dressed in my small grey tank top and pajama shorts from the night before. "You guys need to go home."

"Ali and I will leave when you tell us how the hell all of this happened?" said Rosalie as she pointed towards the living room where Edward sat patiently waiting for me to return. I shook my head in frustration for a moment before finally deciding that if I wanted to enjoy any more peace and quiet with Edward, I needed to get rid of the cock block sisters who stood before me.

"He showed up after the dance, did a rather stealthy break and enter into my bedroom and admitted that he wanted me. I think we were about to agree to dating exclusively when we fell asleep together instead." I laughed slightly as Alice's eyes grew wide in excitement. "Before you ask, yes we have kissed. Now let me have some more time with him before Charlie shows up. I will tell you girls everything tomorrow morning if you please leave right now." I held my hands in front of me, pretending to pray to them and they leaned in at the same time and kissed me on opposite cheeks.

"Go get him," laughed Rosalie as she grabbed Alice by the back of her coat and dragged her down the stairs of the porch. I gave a quick wave to them as they drove away in Rosalie's truck and then bounced happily into the house, eager to see Edward again. I found him looking at various pictures on the mantel, which I knew for a fact were all of me.

"You look really cute in this one," he said softly as he held up the photo from my grade eight graduation. I was standing beside Rosalie and Alice, all of us in pastel colored dresses that, now that I looked back on it, were pretty fricking hideous.

"Umm… thanks," I said with a nervous sigh. "You went to the graduation dance with Brandi Easely." I said it so quickly I didn't even realize it. Edward put the picture back down on the mantle and turned towards me, his eyes wide and his smile bright.

"How the hell do you remember that shit? I barely remember what I had for breakfast let alone who I took to a dance four years ago," he muttered as he took a seat on the couch and he patted the space beside him for me to sit with him. I reached for a blanket behind the couch and wrapped it around myself before I sat down. Edward eased his arm around my shoulder and pulled me against his body, which made me squeal with delight on the inside.

"Let's just say I knew who you were long before you knew I existed," I muttered quietly as I felt Edward's hand on the back of my hair.

"I always knew who you were Bella."

I turned slightly and looked up into his deep green eyes and Edward kissed my forehead sweetly. "So you want to watch a movie or just make out for a while?" Edward asked with an infectious grin as my eyes grew wide in surprise. Less than twenty four hours ago I was preparing to go to a dance with someone I had no attraction to whatsoever and now I was sitting here beside Edward, the guy I've wanted for longer than I remember and he's asking whether I'd rather watch a movie or kiss him? Life certainly has gotten rough.

"How about we watch a movie? " I said without a second thought.

"Sounds good," Edward replied as I got up, the blanket still wrapped around me and sorted through the tiny DVD collection my father and I had. We ended up watching Spiderman in relative quiet, both of us too focused on the movie to do anything else. Well that was a lie, I was nervous beyond belief. I wanted nothing more than to sit here making out with him, but I wasn't exactly the most experienced and had no idea how to initiate anything with him.

When the movie was over, I leaned my head back and noticed that Edward as staring right at me, his green eyes practically dark with what I assumed was lust because a moment later he was cupping my cheek and drawing me into a deep kiss.

I was suddenly overcome with something completely unknown to me and found myself straddling his waist, his hands on my ass as we tried to deepen the kiss or devour each other, whichever came first. I reached my hands up and threaded them through Edward's hair. I tugged lightly and Edward groaned beneath me which woke me from my lust filled reverie. "Oh my god, is this okay?" I asked anxiously as I pulled away from him, a little shocked at how I had just mauled him.

"Oh fuck yes… please don't ever worry about kissing me. I've spent the last two hours trying to figure out how to get you to do just this," he said with a smirk as he squeezed my ass, pulling me closer to him and I rubbed my hand over my face for a moment.

"Me too," I said shyly as I leaned my face down and buried it in his neck. "Why are we so confused?"

"I have no idea baby, but it's funny as hell. We both want the same things and we just don't realize the other wants it," Edward said with a laugh as I kissed his forehead sweetly and was about to lean down to kiss his lips when I heard a loud crash.

I looked over and saw Charlie standing there with a look of shock on his face. His tackle box had fallen from his hands and had cracked open when it hit the ground and there were lures and fake plastic worms all over the floor. "Hi Daddy… this is Edward, my boyfriend."

**EPOV**

I am dead. It was nice knowing you Bella and the few kisses and ass grabs we shared were spectacular, but I was certain Chief Swan was going to pull a gun out of his fishing boots and shoot me in the dick and then the heart for good measure.

Bella didn't dare to move, even though she was straddling my waist, my aching and hard cock resting a few inches away from her obvious arousal. The fact that Bella had a blanket draped over her shoulder and was still in her pajamas didn't help to ease the Chief's worries that his daughter was busy having sex in his living room. "Did you catch anything?" she asked casually as she raised her eye brow quizzically at her dad.

"Isabella Swan, in the kitchen this instant," he said forcefully as he turned on his heel and walked out looking furious. Bella kissed my cheek to try to reassure me, but thankfully my erection had subsided as she crawled off of my lap and followed her father. Nothing makes your dick shrivel more than the father of the object of your desire walking into the room and catching you copping a feel of his daughter.

I sat still, my fingers digging into my knees as I tried not to listen to Charlie and Bella arguing in the kitchen. I heard him asking her about why I was there and inquired as to when she had a boyfriend, which made me smile slightly when she responded so casually to him. Bella was trying to reassure him that we hadn't been having sex and that I wasn't the devil incarnate, while I thought about jumping through her living room window and running like the wind.

"Edward," I heard the gruff voice of Chief Swan as I turned towards the entryway into the kitchen and there he stood, looking just as intimidating as he did in his uniform.

"Yes sir," I asked as I stood up quickly, trying to remember every little thing my mother had taught me about being polite. I wiped my sweaty hands against my pants and was about to shake his hand when he wrapped his arm around Bella protectively. She was bouncing happily beside him and I couldn't help but feel a bit of relief.

"Call your parents and let them know you won't be home for dinner." _Gulp._ "You will have dinner here with Bella and me so I can get to know you better." Chief Swan didn't even wait for me to accept or agree; instead he stepped out of the room and headed upstairs to get changed out of his fishing gear.

Bella bent down and began picking up all of the fishing tackle that Charlie had dropped, so I knelt down beside her to help. "What did you say to him?" I inquired as Bella gave me a gentle smirk and winked at me.

"Don't worry about it. Just know that he no longer wants to shoot you and he doesn't think you defiled his baby girl," she said with a smile and we finished putting everything back together. "I'm going to go get dressed in something more respectable than these pajamas." I nodded my head and watched for a moment as Bella ascended the stairs to her bedroom. I couldn't help but stare at her ass as she walked, wishing again that my hands were holding her again.

When Bella was out of my line of sight, I stepped into the kitchen to use their land line to call my mother. "Chief Swan, what a surprise," I heard my mother say on the other end of the line. God damned caller ID.

"No, Mom, it's me."

"Are you in trouble? Is this him giving you your one call?" she asked anxiously as I let out a low groan because my mother's first thought was that I was being arrested.

"No. If that was the case wouldn't I be calling from the police station instead of his house? I don't think the Chief is stupid enough to allow criminals where his daughter lives," I replied as I heard my mother let out a sigh of relief. "I'm calling because I followed your advice last night and now the Chief is insisting I stay for dinner with him and Bella tonight."

There was silence on the other end of the phone and I even looked at it once to make sure we hadn't been cut off. "Edward," she started to say slowly as I heard my father in the background asking her where I was. "Have a nice dinner with Chief Swan and we can talk about this further when you get home, okay?"

"Sure Mom. I don't think I will be too late since I have a bunch of homework to get done for my government class," I said sincerely as the Chief walked in a moment later and noticed me on the phone. "I'll see you when I get home," I said quickly and with that, I hung up the phone and the Chief was eyeing me from the fridge where he was reaching in for a beer. "Thanks for inviting me to dinner Chief Swan."

"Thank Bells. She seems to think you're worth something," he muttered as I nodded my head in agreement. Lords knows I thought she was worth everything and I was even willing to deal with an awkward dinner with her father for her. "I just want to reiterate what I said in the driveway two weeks ago. I cherish Bella more than anything else in this world and I would hate to see her get hurt Edward."

"Yes sir," I said quickly in understanding and utter fear. "I promise I will do my best not to hurt her. I've cared for her for a long time sir." I was about to finish my sentence but Bella suddenly appeared at my side in a pair of jeans and a hooded sweatshirt.

"Edward and I are going for a quick walk. We'll be back by five and then we can order dinner and you can interrogate him all you want," said Bella as her hand slipped into mine and I felt instantly relived by her gentle touch. Chief Swan just nodded his head and Bella dragged me out the back door and into the woods that were behind her house. When we were far enough away from the house that she thought her father couldn't see us, Bella suddenly stopped.

"Are you cold?"

"No. I mean, I should have listened to my mother when she told me to grab a coat before I ran out of the house this morning, but I was so excited to see you I didn't think," I admitted as Bella moved around a little bit and suddenly had her back pressed up against a thick tree. I stalked towards her until my hands were on either side of her head and my heart was beating out of my chest. Even in just jeans and a hooded sweatshirt she stole my heart. "You are so beautiful."

I noticed a small tear fall onto her cheek and I leaned in to kiss it away. "You have no idea how long I have wanted this…" she said as she motioned between us. "How long I have wanted you."

"You shouldn't cry about it," I said as I kissed her other cheek and my hand moved up along the crook of her neck, settling in the thick mess of hair at the back of her head. I leaned forward even more until our foreheads were touching.

"They are happy tears," she insisted as I silenced her with my lips, which found purchase against hers. We meshed together like a puzzle piece as Bella's hands worked into the back pockets of my jeans and she pulled my entire body against her as I deepened the kiss, both of our mouths opening to welcome the other.

I tried with all my might not to rub my now throbbing cock against her, but she kept pushing me against her, so I gave up easily. I grabbed both of Bella's wrists away from ass and pulled them over her head, pressing them against the tree as I moved my lips down her chin and under her neck, sucking a little too furiously at one point on her collarbone. In a fairly bold move, I held her wrists up with only one hand and then used the other to hitch her leg onto my hip, making it easier for me to grind against her jean covered pussy.

"Oh fuck," she muttered as I began sucking on her ear lobe and was spurred on by her cursing. "Oh yes Edward." Bella's hands began tugging on my hair again and I was suddenly awoken from my lustful mind by the pain I felt on my scalp. _We shouldn't be doing this. Stop before this goes too far. _

I reluctantly pulled back from our kiss and Bella's closed eyes opened slowly and revealed the obvious disappointment she felt because I had stopped. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not."

Bella's hands reached forward and she pulled me closer to her with the collar of my shirt and began kissing me again, effectively tossing all my willpower out the window. I grasped onto her shoulders and pushed back slightly, our lips detaching as Bella let out a low groan. "I want you Bella… more than you'll ever fucking know."

"I think I know how much you want me Edward," she said as she slipped her hand up against my jean covered cock and it throbbed in excitement. Fuck she was suddenly very forward wasn't she? I took a step back and suddenly noticed the hurt in her eyes.

"I care for you way too much to take you against a tree and we both know that if I didn't pull away, you'd be losing your virginity in the woods two hundred feet from your back yard. You don't want that Bella," I said stoically as her eyes darkened and I could sense her anger about to form. Bella pushed forward against me again, trying to kiss me, but I moved back one step, which made her even more furious with me. As I expected, Bella pushed herself away from the tree and began walking quickly back to her house.

"You have no right to tell me what I want, Edward," she forced out through clenched teeth. I chased after her, my hands tight at my side as I withheld the urge to punch the nearest tree. Once I caught up to Bella, I grasped her wrist firmly and turned her around to face me. "Plus, who are you to question my virginity? How do you know I still am one?" she screamed out and I only hoped her father couldn't hear her.

"Fine. You're right. You might want to have sex against a tree but I don't. I don't want that for you and I don't want that for us," I said confidently as she pulled her wrist free and continued walking home and a much slower pace. "I want everything to be perfect. As for your virginity, I'm just making an assumption based on the fact that you seem really nervous about any physicality between us."

"There's no such thing as perfect Edward," Bella said as she stopped within the boundaries of her backyard. We were far enough from her house that the Chief couldn't hear us, but he would definitely see us if he looked out one of the several windows that lined the back of his house. "If life was meant to be perfect, my mother would still be here and you and I would have gotten together a long time ago."

"Are you?" I asked hesitantly, hoping that she knew what I was talking about.

"Am I what? A virgin?" she asked angrily as she took a step towards me, her eyes filled with both sadness and rage. "Yes Edward, I'm a virgin. Isn't that what all the boys want?"

I reached up and rubbed her cheek with my thumb as I held her face in my hand. "All I want is you Bella. I don't care about your past. I don't want to rush us and I have no idea how to be a boyfriend. I've never been a boyfriend before, so let's play this by ear alright?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to my chest, hugging her tightly to me. Minutes, hell hours could have passed and I wouldn't have noticed until we heard the Chief open the back door.

"You two were taking too long so I ordered the pizza and it already arrived. Come eat before it gets cold," he called out loudly sounding somewhat angry as he went back into the house. I kissed the top of Bella's head and let her lead me back into her small dining room.

We ate in relative silence as the Chief peppered me with questions about school, the football team and my parents. He seemed to know them more than I thought he did, which was a bit of surprise, but I brushed it off when Bella started telling him about the two touchdowns I made during the homecoming game. It seems the Chief was a huge football fan and I was floored when he invited me over to watch the game with him since the Seahawks were playing the Buffalo Bills on Monday Night Football the next week.

"Thanks for the offer Chief. I'll need to make sure I have no prior plans before I agree though," I said with a smile as I felt Bella's hand on my thigh supportively.

"I'm sure you'll show. Bella makes the best fajitas in town and always makes them when the Seahawks play at night," he explained with a wide and proud smile. The rest of dinner was uneventful and I helped Bella clean up the kitchen before I had to say goodnight.

"Thanks for everything Chief," I said with a quick wave as I was about to leave.

"No problem Edward. Just remember what we talked about earlier in the kitchen and you'll be all set," he mumbled as he turned back to Sportscenter and gave me a reluctant wave as Bella walked me outside.

The sky was slowly turning black and it looked like it was about to rain any second, which was typical for Forks. Bella walked with me to my car and leaned against it casually as I reached into my pocket for my keys. "Do you want me to pick you up for school tomorrow morning?" I asked, hopeful that she would say yes.

"Rosalie, Alice and I have a morning ritual before school and they come over for a bit. Is it alright if I just meet you there?" she asked as I noticed her hands playing with each other nervously.

"Of course that's fine. I just hope that I can one day drive my girlfriend to school, that's all," I said with a sly wink as Bella's face lit up.

"We're tossing those terms around pretty loosely all of a sudden."

"What's that?

"Boyfriend and girlfriend," she said with a smile that could melt all the polar ice caps. I looked up at the window of her house and didn't see Charlie anywhere so I clasped her face in my hands and kissed her furiously.

"Well you are my girl now Bella," I replied when I pulled away from her and I smiled when I noticed Bella was a little breathless. I watched intently as she reached her hand up to her mouth, her fingers pressed firmly where I had just kissed her. "I'll see you when you get to school alright?"

"Sure Edward," Bella replied as she gave me one more kiss, this time very chaste and I got into my car. I rolled down the window after Bella had knocked softly against it. "Just so you know you can drive me home tomorrow. I know you don't have practice and Charlie won't be home till six, so we can have some private time to do our homework… or whatever," she said with a wink. Then just like her father did two weeks ago, Bella patted the roof of my car, signaling it was time for me to leave.

When I walked in the door of my house, my mother was doing dishes in the kitchen and perked her eyes up when she heard me come in. "So… things went well last night I take it?" she asked with a snicker as I grabbed an apple from the counter and bit into it happily.

"Well… would be an understatement. Feel free to squeal like a girl because I am officially dating Bella."

"Bella Swan?" said my father as he walked in from his office and patted me on the shoulder. "Congrats on the game by the way."

"Thanks," I said quietly as I continued to munch away on my apple and my mother gave me a disapproving look for being so casual with him. "We played good. It was too bad the other team sucked huge. I'm sure we would have all appreciated more of a challenge."

"Yeah well, I heard you made some great plays," my father said as he began to put the dishes into the dishwasher to help my mother. "So you and Bella. That's an interesting pairing."

"How so?"

"Well, she's just so quiet and you are… not," laughed my father as my mother smiled up at me.

"Carlisle, if you do recall I was a little shy when we met too," she said as my father kissed her cheek sweetly, no doubt recalling their younger days before they were saddled with careers and a kid. "You turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me."

"I think you have that twisted around Esme. You were definitely good for me. I hope Bella is good for you Edward," he added as he looked at me somewhat suspiciously.

"Trust me when I say this, she's the best thing that ever happened to me and I have no idea why it took me so long to see it," I said as I finished my apple and tossed it in the bag my mother kept on the counter for composting. I said goodnight to both of them and then made my way upstairs to finish my homework for class.

When everything was done I went up to my room and tried to focus on my work for government class but all I could think about was Bella and our date. That was my next concern… where to take her on our date on Friday night. I spent half an hour researching shit online before deciding to simply ask my mother the next day, she would certainly be able to give me some ideas that would work for me.

As I lay in bed, I couldn't tear my mind away from the thoughts of my day. I now had a girlfriend. I had almost fucked her against a tree and I felt like shit about it. I didn't feel like shit about the fact that she basically said I could take her home tomorrow after school and have a repeat of today though. I wanted to feel her against me again. Her hot breathe on my neck, her soft hands tugging on my hair and her sweet moans escaping her lips.

Before I had a chance to think about it, I was running to the bathroom to take a shower and jerk off to thoughts of Bella pressed against the tree, her thigh in my hand as I ground my hard on against her fabric clad pussy. I came against the cold tile wall, harder than I had ever experienced before and stumbled out of the shower, all my bones feeling like jelly. When I climbed into bed, I thought quickly about seeing Bella tomorrow and fell asleep almost immediately, even though I couldn't help but wish that I was curled up with her on the couch to sleep, her ass in my hand and her head resting against my chest, where they belonged forever.

**A/N: Yup… another A/N. Go to my profile page and find the link to my new blog where I post teasers. Why do you ask? Because I posted a teaser for Chapter 9. I am that nice. Miss you guys… now hit the green button and then go get your teaser.**


	9. My First Week

**A/N: Ah yes, I'm back from the wilderness and offering up a new chapter. I'm hoping to post a new American Boy chapter tomorrow. I got a little caught up in writing a DILF contest one shot (my first contest ever), so make sure you have me on author alert for the story, 'Sweet and Lowdown'. **

**Big love to MaggieMay14, Flightlessbird11 and beegurl13. Come play with us on the blog or twitter.**

**I don't own Twilight, I do own a very old Late Night with David Letterman shirt covered in holes that I cannot seem to throw away.**

**BPOV**

"Okay. What so what happened after the ass grab you were unconscious for?" asked Alice as she sat me down on a stool in the bathroom and proceeded to curl my hair a little bit. It was six thirty in the morning on Monday and I hadn't seen Edward since he left my house after dinner last night. Rosalie was currently cursing up a storm as she sorted through my closet, desperately trying to find me something alluring to wear since I finally had a boyfriend.

I noticed my black pencil skirt that I last wore to a funeral shoot across the room and land on my bed softly. "No skirts."

"Shut up Bella. You have him, now you need to keep him," said Rosalie who was dressed in a cute pair of jeans with a very tight t-shirt on above it, no doubt to accentuate her extremely ample bosom. "Does this shirt fit you? Not that it matters, the tighter the better," Rose commented as she then tossed out an argyle sweater I didn't even recall owning.

"Bella, don't dodge the question. What happened after you forced us to leave?" I let out a loud and reluctant sounding sigh before finally telling Rosalie and Alice everything about the day before. I mentioned the movie, the kissing, the walk outside, the additional kissing and the dinner. They were most interested in the conversation Charlie and I ended up having in the kitchen that made him take it easy on Edward.

"If that was my father and he came in and found Emmett and I macking on his couch, he would seriously punt Emmett's ass out of our house and then chase him with a shotgun down the road," laughed Rosalie as she joined Alice and me in the bathroom, hopping up onto the counter.

"Yeah well, I convinced Charlie to take it easy on him," I said with a smile as Rosalie pulled out my mascara and handed it to me so that I could work on my makeup as we talked. "He wasn't even hard to crack. I reminded him how he once told me he wanted the world for me and I emphasized that Edward was what I wanted. He just leaned back against the counter like he does when he's anxious and stared at me for a few minutes."

"That was it?" asked Alice incredulously.

"Well, no. I had to promise to continue to meet curfew and not do anything overly stupid or dangerous. He then insisted that Edward stay for dinner last night," I explained to them. I put down the mascara and fidgeted with my hands as Alice finished up my hair. Alice and Rosalie both looked at me like I was leaving something out because to them it seemed too easy that Charlie had folded like a lawn chair. "I also had to remind him of how short life is and that we shouldn't take anything for granted. Since this has been Charlie's motto since my mom left, he ended up just nodding his head and relenting."

Rosalie and Alice both fell quiet, knowing full well we didn't discuss my mother any more. We had run out of excuses for her when I was nine years old and none of us cared anymore. Well, Charlie still cared, but I wished he didn't. Even after she left us so callously and disappeared, he still loved her. It was a little heartless to think that she was dead to me, but that was how it was.

Thankfully, the girls finished up a few minutes later and Rosalie forced me to wear the outfit she had chosen, which mercifully she let me wear with my old Vans. When we finally stepped outside the house, I was glad that it wasn't freezing cold out today, but there was a bit of a cold breeze from the north. Rosalie got us to school in record time and I was a little disappointed when we arrived and Edward was nowhere in sight. Then again, neither was Jasper or Emmett. Instead of waiting around outside looking pathetic and desperate, all three of us girls decided to head inside and get rid of our coats at our lockers.

"Shit, trouble brewing at two o'clock," said Rosalie as I turned around and was greeted by the smiling face of Peter. My mouth instantly felt parched and I couldn't speak as he smiled happily at me since he had no idea what was going on.

"Hi Bella. Are you feeling better?" he asked as a look of confusion no doubt shot across my face. When the fuck was I feeling bad? Alice suddenly elbowed me in the ribs and when I looked over at her, she was dancing slightly. Oh yeah, shit.

"Yes, I'm fine. It was just a bit of a stomach bug," I said with a sigh. "It passed rather quickly thank god. I'm sorry you had to leave the dance early because of it."

"I thought you had a migraine?" he asked quizzically as he raised his eye brow and I suddenly felt like my head was going to explode. Rosalie let out a little cough but I didn't turn around as I desperately tried to work my way out of this mess I had managed to find myself in.

"Yeah, a migraine and a sore stomach. I think I might have had food poisoning or something like that. I'm all good now though and that's what's important," I announced confidently as Peter ran his hand down my arm and smirked at me.

"I'm glad to hear you are doing better Bella," said Peter genuinely. I was hoping he would end there, saving us both a lot of trouble, but he clearly couldn't read my mind at that moment. "I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner with me on Friday night?" he asked sweetly as I noticed a flash of bronze hair walking down the hall towards me, with Jasper and Emmett flanking him. It was like a scene straight of 'Grease' and they were the T-Birds, without the leather jackets.

Before I had a chance to respond, Edward was at my side and he draped his arm possessively over my shoulder. "Hey Pete," said Edward with a wide grin as I rolled my eyes and shrugged him off of me for a moment.

"Can you give us a second?" I asked Peter as I pushed Edward backwards down the hall a bit and away from my friends and hopefully from hearing distance.

"What do you thinking you are doing?" I asked, a little furious at his behavior in front of our friends.

"I was about to kiss my girlfriend and say good morning to her," he said with a smirk as he leaned forward to kiss me and I patted his chest. "Is there something wrong with that? You look so fucking hot by the way, like a naughty librarian look you are rocking."

"Okay, I need to talk to Peter and tell him I'm not interested in him and I don't think I need you being all possessive around me for a few minutes," I explained as Edward raised an eye brow in concern.

"Why do you need to tell him anything?"

"Because he asked me out just as you arrived, so I should tell him no and let him know about you and me. If you hadn't been such an ass when you showed up and not have interrupted me, you would have heard me turning him down," I said nervously, unsure of how Edward would take the news that his teammate had asked me out. Edward nodded his head and I walked back to my locker where everyone was still converged. "Peter thanks so much for the invitation, but I think I should tell you I'm seeing someone else."

"That was fast," he said with a slight frown as I felt bad for leading him on a bit during the past week. Edward, of course, rejected my request to give me space to talk to Peter and was at my side again within a moment. This time his hand was wrapped firmly around my waist as he pulled me tightly to him. My heart was beating out of my chest as Peter glanced between us curiously, his eyes bright in understanding. "Oh… well, if he ever steps out of line, let me know. I'll talk to you later Bella."

"I'll keep you posted," I said with a laugh as I looked at the sour expression on Edward's face. He clearly wasn't pleased with the fact that I hinted at giving Peter a chance if Edward ever screwed up. I wasn't exactly going to admit to him though that Peter had no chance with me whatsoever.

Peter turned quickly and started to walk away, but I noticed he looked back to where we were standing and gave me a gentle smile. Edward had now engaged Jasper in some sort of conversation about their plans for the upcoming weekend and I felt like slapping Edward for being such a possessive jerk. Instead, I grabbed Alice's hand and pulled away from his grip, heading off to Spanish class and leaving him to look at me bewildered.

"What the hell was that?" asked Alice as we took our seats and pulled out our notebooks. Jasper walked in a moment later and I noticed Edward standing at the door, but he didn't come in. I put my head down into my book and shrugged my shoulders at Alice, who had noticed Edward at the door. "So, he's all sweet to you on the weekend and come Monday morning he turns into a possessive asshole?"

When I looked up again, much to my relief, Edward was gone. "I have no idea what goes through that boys' mind," I muttered as Senorita Marquez walked into the room tittering in Spanish about something I didn't understand and called the class to order.

My morning classes went by in a blur and I honestly didn't remember most of what was discussed because I was too busy trying to determine Edward's motivations in my head. His possessiveness was a bit disconcerting and I found myself eager to discuss it with him when we went back to my house after school. Of course, that wasn't what I had really planned us to do, but I had to nip this shit in the bud before it went too far. When I walked into the cafeteria a little late thanks to my English teacher holding me back after class to discuss a recent essay, I looked over at the football team's usual table and didn't see Edward there.

I waited in line with Angela, discussing a biology lab we had done last week when I suddenly felt a smooth hand wrap around my shoulder. "I got you some pizza."

"I can manage to get my own lunch you know," I replied in frustration as I turned around and found Edward standing there, looking sad and a little bit remorseful.

"I know," he said with a sigh as he rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. "I just wanted to do something to apologize for this morning." I looked over at Angela, who was looking at me indifferently because she had no idea that Edward and I were dating or even friendly for that matter. "I even got you a Dr. Pepper."

Edward's hand now slid against my lower back and even though I wanted to be mad at him for being a complete jerk in the morning, my body was starting to betray me. I bid Angela a quick farewell and let Edward lead me over to my usual table, where all of our friends including Emmett were waiting for us, clearly having been watching the scene in the lunch line. "Just because I let you buy me lunch doesn't mean I forgive you for being ass."

"Duly noted," he said with a grin as I sat down and tried to listen to the conversations happening around me. I aimlessly took bites of my pizza in front of me, but found myself feeling like I was in an alternate universe or something. Edward, Emmett and Jasper were all discussing their football practice set for the following afternoon and some of the players on the team, while Rosalie and Alice were discussing some reality show about fashion. Neither topic of conversation was really interesting, but I couldn't help but enjoy the fact that Edward's hand was resting firmly on my thigh. No one around us could see this, and would probably just assume he was sitting at our table because of Emmett and Jasper were dating my best friends, but inside I was hiding a squeal of excitement that he was mine. "You're not saying much."

"Sorry, I'm just thinking about how big of a jerk you are," I said with a laugh as Edward narrowed his eyes at me for a moment before kissing my temple. I held back the urge to look around the lunch room to see if anyone had noticed the small gesture. I had to admit, I kinda wanted some of the skanks who lusted after him to know he was taken, but I was sure it would happen soon enough.

"So are you guys like official now? Is Baby Bell here gonna start wearing your letterman jacket and shit?" laughed Emmett as I rolled my eyes at him, before I turned to Edward, waiting for him to respond.

"Yes."

"That's all I get is a yes?" inquired Emmett in disappointment. I felt Edward's hand squeeze my thigh again before he turned back to Emmett with a bit of a glare.

"Yes."

"Fuck, you suck, Cullen," added Emmett as Edward let out a small laugh.

"If Bella's lucky he does," chimed in Rosalie as I turned my head quickly towards her with wide eyes and a mortified expression on my face. She did not just say that. Please god, rewind the last minute and have Rosalie take that back, I said in my head as Edward's hand moved from my thigh to my lower back, rubbing gently as he tried to soothe me.

"If Bella decides to tell you whether or not I suck, that is her business," said Edward with a grin as he grabbed my hand in his and stood up. "We have five minutes before the bell rings. Care to come with me?"

The sexual innuendo was ripe in his question and I heard Rosalie snicker as I nodded my head and stood up, letting Edward lead me out the double doors of the cafeteria and around the side of the building. Once there was no one around, Edward pushed me up against the red brick exterior of our school, his hands cupping my face gently before he leaned forward and kissed me softly.

"I should have done that a lot earlier," he said with a sigh as he rested his forehead against mine and I shivered slightly as his hands now ran the length of my arms, teasingly. "I'm sorry I was a complete and utter asshole this morning."

"Are you going to tell me why?" I inquired as I moved my hands around his waist, holding him close to me. I wanted to know the answer to my query, but I also didn't want the comfortable silence and closeness of us at that exact moment to be disturbed. Everything felt right.

"I saw you talking to Peter and…" he began to say as I reached up and started to stroke his hair back from his forehead. "I just got all jealous and possessive and shit. He didn't know that we were together and I know he wants you." Edward stepped back from me for a moment, his anger towards Peter very obvious on his face.

"Just because Peter wants me, doesn't mean I want him," I said confidently as I grabbed some belt loops on Edward's pants and pulled him back to me. "I want you," I whispered, what I hope was seductively, into his ear.

I looked up into Edward's eyes and they were dark and hooded as he leaned in and began kissing me furiously, his hands now wandering down my body between the wall and my ass. I let out a small gasp as I felt Edward's hands grip my bottom, but then the bell suddenly rang directly above us, signaling the end of the lunch period. "Saved by the bell," I said with a groan as Edward reluctantly backed away from me for a moment.

"Fucking school," cursed Edward as he grabbed my hand and we walked back in through the cafeteria doors, kissing in front of my locker quickly before we headed our separate ways to class.

Biology dragged more than usual and when the bell rang I already had my books in my arm and was running out the door, when I was grabbed by the arm by Jessica Stanley. "What are you doing?" she asked with a smug grin on her face.

"Umm… going to health class," I replied in confusion as I tried to pull my arm away from her but she tightened her grip and didn't let go. I desperately wanted to smack her across the face with my biology textbook, but instead I stood there and listened to her inane babble.

"I don't know what you think you are doing with Edward, but it won't last long," she muttered insanely as I rolled my eyes and let her continue on with her rant. "He's never date anyone before and whatever you think you guys have won't last long before he comes crawling back to my bed."

I let out a choked laugh as she glared at me for not taking her threat seriously. "I feel safe in assuring you that even if I wasn't dating Edward, which I am by the way," I began to say smugly as I wrestled my arm away from her, "he would never go to your bed. In fact, the only thing crawling around in there is the crabs you and your other cheerleading whores have. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go to health class to see my _boyfriend _and then let him take me home to ravish me." I pushed Jessica out of the way, my shoulder hitting hers with a sense of satisfaction as I ran down the almost empty hallway towards my health class.

Mrs. Jameson had already called class to order and she looked at me with disdain as I shuffled to my seat beside Edward and quietly laid my books down. Edward looked at me with concern and I quickly shook my head at him before turning to the front to try to pay attention to the lecture, which was on the AIDS epidemic. Half way through the class, Mrs. Jameson pulled out her archaic TV and VCR that sat in the corner of the room and dimmed the lights as she turned on a video that was due to last the rest of the period.

The moment the lights dimmed, Edward moved his chair closer to mine and put his right hand on my knee softly before he leaned over, his mouth right beside my ear. "Are you alright?" he asked curiously, most likely concerned about the fact that I was late.

"Yeah, I just had to talk to someone," I said coolly as I felt his hand moving further up my leg, pushing my skirt along with it. "We can continue this at my house, okay?" I looked over and even in the darkness of the room I could see the excited expression on Edward's face at the mere mention of going back to my house, without any parental supervision. Mrs. Jameson cleared her throat, calling the class to attention and I did my best to focus on the video as Edward continued to stroke my thigh. This was going to be a very long class.

**EPOV**

I couldn't help it. When I found Peter talking to Bella in the hallway beside her locker this morning, I felt instantly jealous. It got infinitely worse when Bella mentioned to me that he had asked her out. I was suddenly turning into a possessive jerk that I didn't want to be.

When we left health class, I walked Bella to her locker where she grabbed a few books and shoved them into her backpack, complaining about her Spanish homework the entire time. I didn't want to admit that I wasn't really paying attention and was watching her ass as she bent over, but I just nodded my head in agreement and dragged her out to my car as she bid a quick farewell to her friends.

"Are you always gonna drag me out of there as fast as you can?" asked Bella with a laugh once we were driving away from the school and towards her house.

"When it means I am taking you home so that we can spend some time alone, then yes," I stated confidently as I reached my hand over and intertwined her fingers with mine. I thought it was a small gesture, but the wide smile on her face said otherwise. "So, who did you have to talk to after biology?"

"Jessica."

"What the fuck did she want?" I asked angrily. I could only hope that she hadn't opened her mouth about all the things we had done over the years. Jessica was not my favorite person in the world, but she was an easy lay and an eager one at that. She had mentioned on more than one occasion how she thought we were destined to be together and that no one was good enough for me, but I was determined to prove her wrong. Even though I still had thoughts in the back of my mind that I might one day hurt Bella, I was resolute in following my heart.

"She tried to warn me that you would ditch me and go crawling back to her. I set her in her place though. She's just a jealous and wretched little bitch," Bella said with a laugh as we turned onto her street. My heart still felt heavy and with good reason because as we pulled in front of her house, Bella unbuckled by didn't get out. She turned towards me in the driver's seat and asked the question I really didn't want her to ask. "Did you sleep with her?"

Fuck.

"I'm not going to get angry. What you did with her before we decided to be together isn't important to me, but I want to know what I am dealing with here," she said sweetly as she continued to hold my hand in hers. I wished I could say no and that I was a virgin waiting for her but I couldn't.

"Yes, but it was a while ago. We haven't slept together since early in the summer."

"Can you do me a favor?" she inquired as I quickly nodded my head, not even caring what her request was. "Can you get tested?"

Well that was a surprise, but not a completely unwelcome one. I had thought about doing in regardless but had chickened out from mentioning to my father for fear of his reaction and disappointment, but I would do it for Bella. "Consider it done," I said willingly to her as we both began to get out of the car and walked hand in hand into her quaint house. As she dropped off her book bag and ran upstairs to get changed into something more comfortable, I sat on the couch and waited patiently as the realization hit me.

_Holy shit. If she wants me to be tested than that means she wants to have sex with me._

I heard Bella's footsteps on the stairs as she descended but I was still doing a little happy dance in my mind because Bella wanted to sleep with me. "Are you thirsty?" she asked as she peeked her head into the living room where I was nervously tapping my fingers against my knees.

"Uh… sure. You can get me whatever you are having," I replied aimlessly, my mind now overwrought with images of Bella and me fucking. I shook the images from my head knowing full well it wouldn't happen today and tried to calm myself. "I'm putting on a movie."

"That's fine," said Bella with a laugh as she walked in holding two cans of cold Sprite and handed me one. I flipped it open and took a sip as Bella sat down beside me and 'Ocean's Eleven' started on the TV. "Good pick."

"Thanks," I muttered quietly, suddenly feeling very nervous. I had no idea how to start things with her all of a sudden. What I really wanted to do was pounce on her, push her against the couch and feel her body beneath mine as I explored every inch of her with my lips, but that was a bit forward, even for me. I rested the soda can on the end table and turned to look at Bella, who was now dressed in a pair of shorts and t-shirt. I was about to open my mouth to say something, when she suddenly wrapped her hand around my neck, gripping tightly and pulling me onto her body as she laid down on the couch. _Holy shit, she's a mind reader._

I slipped my left hand beneath Bella's back, between her and the couch as I used my right one to steady myself as I hovered above her. Our kisses were passionate, needy and full of desire as our tongues met and we explored each other greedily. Bella's hands moved up and down my back fiercely as I pulled back for a moment and then leaned back in, this time kissing her neck with newfound fervor. I pushed the neck of her t-shirt down slightly, eager to leave my mark on her but not really wanting it where her father could see.

"Oh god," Bella moaned out when I ground myself against her while sucking furiously on her luscious collarbones. "Don't stop," she pleaded as I continued to suck on her chest, Bella's tiny hands now finding purchase on my ass as she pulled me closer to her. Her words and actions were spurring me on, but I pulled back from her anyways.

"I don't think we should move so quickly. I mean… shit… I know we're not going to have sex today, but don't you think this is moving a little fast?" I asked as I sat down on the far end of the couch, leaving Bella looking at me with hurt in her eyes. My heart ached because I had made her feel hurt, but I didn't want to do anything that she wasn't ready for.

"Edward," said Bella as she sat up and sat against the back of the couch, her knees now pulled up to her chest protectively. _Fuck, I am an ass. _"We wasted way too much time apart. If I thought we were moving too quickly or I was uncomfortable, I would let you know. Are you uncomfortable with this?"

Shit, how do I answer that? 'No Bella, actually I am very comfortable making out with you. it's my rock hard cock that is uncomfortable.' Well, that was clearly not the answer I should use. "No. I just don't want you to do something you are not ready for."

Bella suddenly crawled across the couch in a rather bold move and repositioned herself in my lap, straddling me and my aching dick. She gripped my face in her hands and kissed me tenderly on the lips. "I'm ready for anything you want to throw my way baby," she said, her voice dripping with lust as I grabbed her ass and pushed her down onto my cock. Bella let out a low groan and I bent forward and kissed her neck again. Her hands moved up my back as she threaded them through my hair and began massaging my scalp again, leaving me moaning in pleasure.

"Are you sure you're ready for everything?" I asked as she wiggled her hips above me, my cock throbbing painfully within the constraints of my jeans. Bella didn't respond, instead she bent towards me and look my bottom lip into her mouth, sucking eagerly as my hands worked their way up the back of her shirt. I could feel the clasp of her bra and was about to unclasp it when I heard a car door slamming and Bella suddenly jumped off my lap.

"He's home early, look busy," she said with a small frown as she tossed her biology notebook at me and we quickly created a scene that looked like we had been studying. Of course, the text book Bella had given me was now strategically placed over my lap to hide my straining cock. Surely if the Chief saw that bad boy struggling to get free and into his daughter, he would shoot it off.

"Hey Bells, is that Edward's car out front?" asked Charlie as he walked into the room decked out in his full uniform, his gun resting snugly against his hip. He eyed me up on the couch and I gave him a weak hello as Bella jumped off the floor and hugged him eagerly.

"Hey daddy, we are working on our biology homework. I hope you don't mind," she said with a grin as Charlie reluctantly nodded his head. I could see the concern in his eyes as he glanced between Bella and me, especially since her hair looked a bit like a rats' nest from behind from when I was grinding against her on the couch, but he didn't speak up.

"Schoolwork is important," he said with a groan as he headed upstairs to get changed out of his uniform. "Are you staying for dinner Edward?" he shouted down and I looked at Bella in complete shock.

"No sir," I called up to him. "I have some things to attend to at home." Fuck, I was lying to the Chief of Police; I am officially going to hell. Bella walked back to the couch and sat beside me, her hand gripped firmly around mind.

"You can stay if you want too. I'm making steak, green beans and mashed potatoes," she explained sweetly and I leaned in to kiss her chastely.

"Thanks for the offer Bella, but I should get going home. I need to schedule some time with my dad for that test," I said with a grin as she nodded her head in appreciation. "The sooner I get that done, the better." I didn't mean it come out that I only wanted the test so I could fuck her, but I had to admit that since she had mentioned it to me in the car, it was a good idea. I hadn't ever worried about it before until we started studying STD's in health class and now I couldn't help but wonder.

"I agree," she said with a wink as Charlie suddenly bounded down the stairs quicker than I thought he could. "I'm gonna walk Edward outside. He's got to get home," said Bella as she grabbed my hand and led me out to the car.

"I'll see you later Chief Swan," I said with an amiable smile as he nodded his head and bid me goodnight. When Bella and I finally got to the car, we resumed the same position as the night before, but this time I saw her father watching us from the living room window. "Don't even think about doing anything that I know you want to do," I said regrettably as Bella turned to look over her shoulder at the window.

"How do you know what I wanted to do?" she asked as she batted her eye lashes at me and I opened the car door.

"Bella… "

"Edward…"

"Okay, I'm going to go before he runs out with a shotgun. I have nightmares about that you know," I said seriously as Bella broke out into a fit of giggles. I kissed her chastely on the cheek and promised to see her in the morning at her locker before class.

The rest of the week didn't allow me much time to spend with Bella unfortunately. Tuesday and Thursday I had football practice and on Wednesday she had to work with Alice on a project for her Spanish Class. When I had gotten home from her place on Monday night, I took the chance to talk to my father in his office about testing me and he readily agreed, although seemed a little disappointed that I felt it needed to be done.

"Didn't you and Bella just start dating?" my father asked curiously as I nodded my head. I didn't want to tell him that it was Bella who was basically pressuring me for sex and not the other way around.

"Yeah, but we're just making sure it's done. A pre-cautionary measure and all that," I said with a slight groan of mortification. "We're not doing it, if that's what you are wondering."

"I never assumed that you were. I would think you were smarter than to have sex with your first real girlfriend three days after becoming a couple," my dad said with a smirk. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I wasn't smarter than that and had Bella suggested we do it, I would have jumped at the chance.

"Yeah well, she's special to me."

"She's special to a lot of people," he replied cryptically as I stood up to leave. Since my father had his final appointment of the day about to come in, we agreed to do the test on Wednesday after school. I wasn't looking forward to it, but I wanted it done.

When I had gotten to school on Thursday morning, I let Bella know that I had taken the test and told her I would have the full results back in a few weeks. My father wanted to know if I needed a specific test run and for safety's sake I told him to do them all.

Friday was a much better day because Bella and I were officially going on our first date. During lunch and health class, she had been practically giddy with excitement. Alice and Rosalie were apparently going over to her house after school to help her get ready, but I wasn't allowed to pick her up until at least six, because Charlie wanted to be home when I picked her up. I thought it was a bit silly, but agreed regardless because Bella was so enthusiastic about it.

I had spent almost an hour in the kitchen with my mother after practice on Tuesday, chowing down the dinner of homemade Macaroni and Cheese that she had made and getting her input on date ideas. I was hopeless, but thank god for my mother who after many recommendations just said I should take her to Port Angeles for dinner and a movie.

"Bella's a simple girl Edward; she won't appreciate some grand gesture like hiring a limo and sweeping her off of her feet. Go to either the Italian place or that British pub near the water and then take her to see some chick flick. Girls love that stuff," she advised before finally leaving me to my thoughts for the night. I ended up deciding on the small Italian place and checked out the movie listings, finally deciding to do something a little different and hoped that Bella would appreciate it.

I spent way too long on Friday after school getting ready. I almost went to my mother for fashion advice, but decided simple was best and ended up with a pair of dark wash jeans and grey striped sweater. It wasn't anything fancy, but since it was supposed to be a little cool, I decided it would do just fine. My hands were literally shaking as I drove over to Bella's house. I tried to calm myself as best as I could, but when I pulled up in front of her house and saw the police cruiser belonging to her father, everything just seemed so much more real for me.

I grabbed the small bouquet of gerbera daisies that my mother picked up for me in her infinite wisdom and climbed the steps onto her porch. The flowers were clutched so tightly in my hand; I was certain the stems would turn to dust after I knocked on the door and waited impatiently.

When Bella finally opened the door, I felt my breath hitch because she looked so beautiful. "Hi," I stammered out as I thrust the flowers towards her forcefully. "These are for you." I couldn't take my eyes off of her in a bright white sweater that went off of one shoulder and a pair of skin tight jeans. Her hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail that I suddenly envisioned myself grabbing as I kissed her furiously.

"Thanks. You look sexy," she said as she whispered out the last word and I smiled. Charlie showed up at her side a moment later and as Bella ran to put the flowers in some water, I advised Charlie that we were going for dinner in a movie in Port Angeles and we would be home before midnight, which was her curfew on the weekends. "I'm ready to go," she declared as she ran out the front door and onto the porch where I was waiting.

"Take your coat Bella," said the Chief as he grabbed it and thrust it towards Bella who was already down the steps and away from him. I took it and thanked him as I walked to the car where Bella was eagerly waiting for me. I opened the passenger door for her and threw her coat in the backseat, kissing her softly on the cheek before she sat down and I closed the door behind her.

"Are you ready?" I asked when I finally got in beside her and started up the car, pulling off of her street and onto the main drag in town.

"I've never been more ready."

**A/N: Okay, so don't forget there is a link on my profile page to my blog where I am offering up teasers to my existing stories as well as Fic Rec's. **

**I'm recommending a new story that I am reading, Home Run by jadedandboring. Go check it out people!**


	10. My Awkward Date

**A/N: The twitter girls know this chapter would have been up last night if we weren't shamelessly flirting and exchanging porn, so if you don't twitter and are pissed this wasn't posted, too bad. This chapter is for my girl GreenEyedGirl17. If you don't read her story 'Illegal Contact' then I am very disappointed in you. Get on it. LIKE NOW!**

**Usual thanks to my gang: MaggieMay14, flightlessbird11 and beegurl13 for their help and encouragement. Come and play with us on twitter or my blog (links on profile page)**

**If you haven't been following me like a hawk lately, you might not know that I am hosting an Esme contest with one of my girls, kikikinz. There's info on my profile and we are encouraging all newbies and established writers to get their Esme groove on… come on… you know you want to write one.**

**I don't own Twilight although I do have a new AVI on my twitter account that is the two old guys, Waldorf and Statler from the muppets. I also strongarmed my twitters girls into changing their AVI's to the Swedish Chef, Beaker, Animal and Fozzy Bear. You wanna see it don't you? Come play on twitter!**

**BPOV**

"Where are we going?" I inquired as I fidgeted nervously in the passenger seat beside him as we drove down the highway towards Port Angeles. Edward's hand grabbed my knee supportively and he looked at me for a moment before turning back towards the road, seemingly ignoring my request.

When Edward had showed up at my door earlier in the night clutching a small array of daises in his hand, looking nervous as all hell, I think I fell for him just a little bit more. The gesture had been so sweet that it literally took my breath away. Even Charlie seemed to crack a smile at his chivalry and I held back a joke asking him where the candy was to go with the flowers. With my luck, he had them in the backseat of his car to give to me a little later. Edward seemed practically scared when we finally stepped away from the front door of the house and it was so endearing in my eyes.

"Port Angeles," he said smugly as I turned towards him and smacked him gently on the shoulder.

"No shit, I managed to figure that out."

"I'm glad to see you were able to put your detective skills to good use Nancy Drew," he said rudely as I punched him again and he feigned that I had actually hurt him by rubbing his shoulder. "We're going to get dinner."

Edward didn't seem willing to offer much more in the way of specific information so I decided to sit back and do my best to enjoy the ride. I listened to the random assortment of country music on the radio and when 'Then' by Brad Paisley came on, Edward reached over and wordlessly entwined his hand in mind, in what I determined was the sweetest gesture ever. EVER.

The rest of the ride was not as nerve-wracking but I still wondered where we were going until we pulled into the parking lot of Il Fornello, one of the nicest restaurants in town. "Edward, I'm so underdressed," I said with a sigh of mortification as he unbuckled his seat belt and I went to do the same.

"No, you can wait a second. We're not eating here," he said casually as I looked at him, my eyes full of confusion. "Alice already told me what you like to eat. I did a little research into this date you know."

"They don't do take out though," I retorted as Edward opened the door and put one leg out onto the cement ground.

"They do if your name is Esme Cullen," he said with a snicker as he stepped out into the night and closed the door behind him. I watched the smug grin on his face as he walked into the restaurant. I was completely flabbergasted as I to why the hell we were eating such a fancy meal outside of the restaurant. When Edward finally came out the front door a few minutes later, he carried two fabric bags and his smile was even wider than when he had gone in.

Edward put the bags in the backseat as I watched each one of his actions intently. When he closed the door, I couldn't help but notice the small red cooler and blanket also on the floor. He took his seat beside me wordlessly as we drove through town and back towards Forks. When we found a side road just south of Port Angeles, Edward turned right and I began to get nervous.

"You know, if you are planning on taking me into the woods to kill me and then enjoy a gourmet meal, you have the wrong girl beside you," I said with a tentative laugh. Edward reached his hand over and rubbed my thigh soothingly. Of course, the only thought running through my mind was about how close his hand was to the promise land, which was already aching from being in such close proximity to him.

I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn't even notice when Edward rolled his window down. When I finally looked around, I let out a small sigh of relief, followed by a laugh.

"We're at a drive-in?" I asked with a huge smile as Edward nodded at me and paid the gate attendant the fifteen dollars to get in. "I've never been before."

"The movie doesn't start for another half an hour, so we can just sit back and enjoy our dinner. It's not cheesy is it?" he asked nervously, trying to gauge my reaction to the surprise. "I was worried it would seem shitty and the flowers would seem overdone and tacky, but my mom convinced me otherwise." Edward attempted to say something else, but I covered his mouth with my fingers, effectively silencing him.

"It's perfect and definitely one of those memorable moments I mentioned to you on my birthday." When I was finished speaking, Edward kissed my fingers gently before his eyes suddenly darkened and he pulled them into his mouth, sucking on them furiously. I let out a small gasp as his tongue swirled slowly around my finger and sat there shell shocked, my mouth agape as I watched him. It was so sensual, I was tempted to crawl into his lap and let him have his way with me, but the moment I gathered up the nerve, he pulled my fingers out of my his mouth and then grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me to him.

My own eyes searched his face for any sign of reluctance and when I found none, I practically dove in, tongue first. My lips opened the moment they touched Edward's and within moments, we were clawing at each other, panting breathlessly as our lips explored fervently. When Edward pulled back, I felt completely flustered and extremely fucking horny.

"Let's have dinner shall we?" he said coolly as I looked at him in shock. Unfortunately, my stomach took that moment to growl and Edward just chuckled as he rolled his eyes slightly.

I unbuckled my seat belt and turned in my chair as I watched Edward mess with his radio, no doubt tuning it to the station for us to listen to the movie. "I got you chicken parmesan, because Alice said that was your favorite," he said with a small grin as he pulled a styrofoam container out of one of the bags and popped it open, checking the contents. Edward handed me my dinner with a knife and fork and I sat back, watching him as he then offered me a Dr. Pepper from the cooler and pulled out a Sprite for himself.

We ate our dinner in relative silence, with the exception of Edward's constant moans as he ate his lasagna. My mind was a flurry of very dirty thoughts as I heard the noises he made and I wondered if he made them during sex or while other things were occurring; other things I desperately wanted to do with him. When I mentioned the topic of blow jobs to Alice and Rosalie a few days ago, they cautioned me against doing it too soon into a relationship. "Once a boy has had one… that's all he wants. A good blow job is a like good chocolate for women," Rosalie had advised me through her laughter. I had rolled my eyes for the umpteenth time during that conversation, but actually listened when she and Alice began bantering about technique and the things that Jasper and Emmett both liked. I had tried to pretend I wasn't listening as I actually paid very close attention and Edward's appreciation of his dinner was reminding me of the entire conversation in graphic detail.

"Are you alright?" he asked when I had stopped eating and was practically staring at him. I think I might have even drooled a bit as I suddenly looked down into his lap and imagined his dick in my mouth.

"Shit… fuck," I muttered out as I noticed Edward quirk his eyebrow. I had clearly been caught. "Sorry, I was just wondering when the movie is supposed to come on," I said tensely, although I hoped I was sounding casual. The last thing I wanted was Edward to call me out on staring at his junk because I would have word vomit spew from my mouth and I would no doubt admit I had been thinking about giving him a blow job. Not exactly first date talk unless you are Jessica Stanley, in which case a first date isn't successful unless she's been fucked thoroughly.

"Umm… ten more minutes," he said with a grin as he turned back towards his lasagna and began moaning again. _Mother fucker._

Just as I finished devouring my meal, the sound started through the radio and I turned to look at the screen as the movie began. Edward took my empty container from me and put it back in the fabric bag in the back as we both took a sip of our respective drinks. I leaned my chair back slightly and slipped off my shoes, trying to get comfortable. "Would you mind if I put my feet on the dash?"

"You're actually asking? Emmett already has his foot imprints on there, so feel free," he said with a laugh as I looked up at the screen and immediately shuddered. "Is something wrong?"

"We're watching a horror movie?" I asked as I gulped slightly. Horror movies and I were not friends. Ever since Rosalie and Alice made me watch 'The Ring' a few years ago I had hated them with a passion. They were not even allowed for consideration during our movie nights anymore.

"Yeah… it's the original 1970's version of Halloween with Jamie Lee Curtis. Shit, you don't like horror movies?" he inquired as I noticed the look on his face was one of clear remorse. I felt bad that Edward thought he had ruined our night, so I shrugged my shoulders indifferently. "If it gets too bad, let me know and we can leave."

"Or you can keep me safe," I said somewhat huskily as Edward glanced over at me and smiled cheerfully at my extremely obvious attempts at flirting. I figured if I wouldn't enjoy the movie, there might as well be something I could get some enjoyment out of.

Not even twenty minutes into the movie I was already wrapping my arms around my chest, trying to keep from hyperventilating as the girls in the movie walked home from school oblivious to the car that was following them. The music didn't help matters as I shuddered at every little suspense filled moment. At one point, Edward tried to wrap his arm over my shoulder to pull me to his side, but the console in between the two front seats made that a little bit difficult. "Do you want to move into the backseat?" I suggested lamely, knowing full well I would never see any of the movie if we moved back there.

"But then you won't…" started Edward to say as a light went off his head and he scrambled to move into the backseat, overtop of the console. I pictured his enthusiasm to be much like last Sunday morning when I had invited him over for the day and he sounded beyond excited to be spending any sort of time with me. I did the smart thing and opened the passenger door as I moved into the back seat, no doubt calling attention to us from the other movie goers, but I didn't care.

I slid onto the seat as Edward still worked his way across the console awkwardly. "Are you okay?" I asked as I heard him huff in frustration as he finally managed to get himself seated on the bench seat.

"I'm just an idiot. I could have saved time by just getting out of the car and getting into the backseat and I should have asked you what movie you wanted to see, I really struck out on that one," he said reluctantly. I could see in his eyes that he was sad the night hadn't worked out as perfectly as he had planned it to be so I reached my hands across the seat and cupped Edward's face in my hands.

"Just shut up." I leaned forward and kissed him as firmly as I could, desperate to feel him against me and rewarded tenfold when he suddenly moved closer on the seat and wrapped his arms around me tightly, pulling my body onto his lap.

**EPOV**

This date was nothing like I had expected, but having Bella at my side seemed to make it work somehow. She didn't seem happy when we pulled into the parking lot of Il Fornello and was confused as hell when I went into the restaurant, leaving her in the car for a few moments while I picked up dinner. Thanks to the genius that is my mother, I not only showed up at Bella's house with some flowers that seemed to impress her, but had ordered our dinner in advance so that we could eat it in the car. I thought maybe it would be more comfortable for us to be alone, rather than in a crowded overpriced restaurant, but I was wrong, because the conversation through dinner was strained and every time I looked over at Bella, she looked like she was in a daze or something.

To make matters worse, I picked a horror movie simply because Halloween was quickly approaching and I had no idea that she hated them. I would complain that the entire date had gone to shit, until Bella suggested we hop into the backseat of the Volvo and even made the first move, kissing me fervently as I pulled her onto my lap, desperate for any sort of physical contact with her.

"I'm sorry," I muttered quietly against her lips. My first attempt at a real date and I felt like I had fucked it up beyond all recognition. Why couldn't life go back to old days when I called a girl up, went to pick her up and we fucked somewhere, preferably not my house or car. It was easy then, less complicated. The downfall of this master plan was that there was no Bella and I honestly wouldn't change a thing in my life since it led me to her.

"Edward. Shut it," retorted Bella as her lips descended to my neck and she began sucking furiously. I groaned her name loudly as the creepy music from the movie filled the car and I felt her shudder above me. Bella suddenly reached behind her to turn off the radio and her back arched, leaving her breasts tight against her pale white sweater. Without even a second thought, I suddenly leaned forward and bit down on her nipple, through the two layers of fabric and Bella moaned appreciatively, spurring on all further actions.

I was certain that at any moment Bella was about to still my hands and tell me she wasn't ready, but I proceeded anyways, desperate to determine her limits as I struggled with my own unwavering need to touch her, all of her. I slowly slipped my hands under the back of her sweater and looked at her in the eyes as my hand reached the clasp of her bra. I watched her intently, awaiting a refusal but she slowly nodded her head in approval and I unclasped it, a small gasp leaving both of our mouths. It took all of my willpower not to simply push her sweater over her tits so that I could fondle them to my hearts' content.

"Edward," said Bella quietly as I had my eyes trained on hers, watching every single emotion that crossed over her face and thankful that none of them seemed to be regretful. "I want it."

"Want what?" I asked in confusion as I pulled her face down to mine again and began kissing her eagerly, our tongues exploring every single surface of our mouths and necks like we were some sort of oral Lewis and Clark.

"Everything. Please," she replied cryptically as I watched in awe as she grabbed the hem of her shirt and suddenly pulled it over her head, her bra falling from her body. My mind was moving a mile a minute thinking about everything that was currently going on but all I could stare at was her perky breasts and the dark pink nipples in the middle that were hard as diamonds. She was fucking beautiful as a blush crept across her face and I grabbed her face, mimicking her earlier move, and kissed her with every single ounce of passion I had for her.

"You are gorgeous," I stated firmly, this time staring at her face and not her breasts. As much as I had thought about this, I didn't want Bella to think I was addressing her tits and not her. "Are you sure?" I asked again, still worried that she would regret this in the light of day.

Bella didn't respond to my question though. Instead, she ground her hips down on my now aching cock and leaned forward, her nipples practically resting on my lips. I threw caution to the wind as I opened my mouth and sucked her hard nub into my mouth, biting it as I reached up with my other hand to massage her other tit. I couldn't help but groan as I pleasured her because I was simply beside myself in excitement due to the sheer fact that I was touching her. Bella had been the object of my desires for so long I seriously thought I would wake up and this would all be a dream.

"Oh fuck," Bella cursed out, causing me to lift my hips into her greedily. The heat radiating from her thighs was unbelievable and I wanted nothing more than to rip off all of our clothes and just thrust my cock into her, but I held back. "Don't stop," Bella growled as her hands threaded through my hair and she began massaging my head, making my eyes roll back into my head as I switched to sucking her other nipple furiously, giving her breasts equal time.

Bella and I were so wrapped up in our own little world, it wasn't until some headlights lit up the Volvo that I noticed that the movie was over and all the other cars were leaving. When one of the cars passed us, I looked up Bella's chest and grinned happily at a hickey I had left at the top of her right breast. I leaned back on the seat and Bella leaned forward, her bare chest pressing against my sweater and I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tightly against me.

"We need to get going home don't we?" Bella asked reluctantly, her breath hot against my neck as I kissed her shoulder tenderly.

"Yeah. The Chief has a strict curfew I don't really want to break since I'm going to be over at your place on Monday night for the football game," I uttered as I grabbed Bella's sweater and bra from beside me on the seat. I greedily breathed in the scent of her before I handed them to her once she had pulled away from my grasp.

"Did you just smell my sweater?"

"Maybe," I said with a shrug as Bella kissed my cheek. "You smell good."

"You are welcome to smell me anytime you want Edward," said Bella seductively as I let out a low groan at the obvious innuendo in her words. Bella quickly dressed and we got out of the car properly and back into our regular seats.

As we drove back to Forks, the country music was on low as we began chatting about anything and everything in our lives. Bella told me about her love of books, both modern and classic and how she, Alice and Rosalie met and have been the best of friends since pre-school. I in turn, went into detail about being in pee-wee football with Jasper and Emmett before we finally ended up in the same middle school and that until we realized what the fuck a girl was, we were practically inseparable.

When I pulled in front of Bella's house, I didn't want her to get out of the car. I even locked the doors as we stopped so that she couldn't just hop out and leave, not that I expected her too. I wasn't shocked to look towards her house and find the porch light was on and the shadow of her father was in the living room window, the television behind him illuminating him to my view.

"My dad is watching isn't he?" asked Bella as she turned away from the front of her house to face me. I nodded my head in agreement and Bella simply smiled. "He's been a bit nervous since I told him I had a boyfriend."

"Well, that's understandable. I would feel the same way if I ever had a daughter," I admitted ruefully as Bella looked over back towards the house where her father was finally stepping away from the window. "He's not coming out here with a shot gun is he?"

"It's hard to tell with my father, although I will admit he seems to like you for some reason," she admitted with a wide smile as I leaned in to kiss her chastely on the lips, still making sure the Chief wasn't about to chase me down. The Volvo might not reach the top speeds it did when it was brand new, but the Chief was definitely in better shape than most people give him credit for.

"Well, let's keep him liking me then. How about I walk you to the door, that will probably earn me bonus points right? It sure beats pulling up to the house and kicking you out the door as I pulled away," I said with a nervous laugh as Bella shook her head at me like I was an idiot and then I got out of the car, running around to open her door for her.

I took Bella's hand firmly in mine and helped her out of the car before I kissed her again on the cheek and then walked her to the front door. "I hope you had fun tonight, even though it was a bit of a disaster," I admitted weakly as Bella pressed her body against mine and leaned in, sucking on my bottom lip with reckless abandon. Just as I was about to reach my hand up and grab her breast again, the front door whipped open and there stood the Chief, looking extremely smug for having interrupted us.

"Half an hour before curfew, I'm mighty impressed Edward," said the Chief as he opened the screen door that separated Bella and me from his daunting form.

"I'm nothing if not punctual sir," I said with a slight grin that masked the utter disappointment I felt, as the Chief narrowed his eyes at me.

"Perhaps we should change Bella's curfew to eleven thirty then," he said with a guffaw as Bella and I both yelled out 'no' at the same time. The Chief just shook his head at us for our response and I gave Bella one more chaste kiss on the cheek before hightailing it down the steps and back to the Volvo.

I took my time driving home seeing as I had the luxury of not having a curfew and when I finally pulled into the driveway just after midnight, I was surprised to find my mother was still awake and sitting in the kitchen drinking a tea. "Why are you still up?" I asked as I dropped the cooler and leftover packages on the counter. I started putting everything away as my mother looked up at me from her steaming cup.

"Can't a mother be concerned about her son's first real date?" she asked, her voice laced with something more than concern.

"Okay, spill it old lady. Why the hell are you awake?" I asked jokingly. "You were never awake when I would go out with Jasper and Emmett, and we were usually getting up to a lot more trouble than a date," I admitted quickly. I then put my palm against my face and slide it down slowly, realizing that I had just admitted to getting into loads of trouble with my friends.

"What kind of trouble?" she asked as she raised her eye brow at me in curiosity.

"Let's pretend I said nothing. So, were you going to ask about my date?" I inquired as I put the two leftover sodas back in the fridge and then wiped the cooler clean for any future usage. I went to sit down across from my mother with the bottle of water I had just taken from the fridge and waited for the third degree. In agreement for getting her assistance in planning the date, I had to tell her how it went and I was just waiting for the spotlight to be placed on me so she could begin her interrogation.

"Just give me a quick rundown. How was the food and the movie?"

"The food was delicious and Bella seemed to really enjoy the chicken I ordered for her. She definitely loved the flowers I brought her so I should hug you for that move. I think even the Chief was impressed," I admitted with a smile as my mother's indifferent looked turned to one of almost pride. "The movie was fine." There was no way in hell I was admitting to my mother that the movie scared Bella and I spent almost twenty minutes with her nipples in my mouth. I could just imagine the way she would react to that shit.

"Well, I'm glad you guys had a good time. When are you seeing her next?" she asked as she took a sip of her tea.

"I don't know. We didn't make plans other than the fact that I am having dinner there on Monday night to watch the football game with her dad," I replied as Esme simply nodded her head in acknowledgement. I stood up from the table and kissed my mom gently on the head before heading towards the door. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight Edward," she said with a small tentative wave as I bounded up the stairs to my bedroom and threw myself on my bed. I tossed my hands behind my head and lay there, staring up at the ceiling. I had seen Bella's tits. I had touched, kissed and sucked them. Could my life get any better?

I suddenly felt my cell phone vibrate in my pocket and noticed I had a new text from Bella.

_Charlie's going fishing in the am. Care to come over around eight?_

I didn't even have to be asked twice as I started tapping away furiously on the small phone, texting her back as quickly as I could.

_Fuck yes._

**A/N: Are you ready for some football?? LOL**


	11. My Laundry Day

**A/N: I don't have much to say except check out the Esme contest link on my profile page. A lot of newbies and awesome authors have expressed interest in writing… why don't you give it a shot?**

**I don't own Twilight. I do own 2 tickets to see 'Leaves of Grass' starring Edward Norton and Susan Sarandon at the Toronto International Film Festival and 2 tickets to see Joshua Radin, both tomorrow in Toronto. WOO HOO for me and my fucktabulous beta MaggieMay14.**

**One more thing... check out my blog and get links to Maggie's blog and ARenee363 (author of the totally awesome Inked and it's subsequent sequel 'Scooby Doo meets the Inked Gang') Just kidding, well only about the name of the sequel. Go check out our blogs. Maggie will have a scale for lemony goodness in fic!**

**Oh and thanks to my lovely pre-readers beegurl13 and flightlessbird11. Come play on twitter. We have porn and Muppets' AVI's. I'm talking to you Fozzie, Animal, Beaker, Piggy and the Swedish Chef! btw... I found Bunsen Honeydew on there too!**

**Shit, I guess I did have a lot to say.**

**BPOV**

The moment I stood from my desk in health class once the final bell rang on Monday, Edward was immediately by my side. Tonight was Monday Night Football at the Swan house, with the Seahawks playing the Bills and Edward was both nervous and excited. "How long till your dad gets home from the station?" he asked as we sat in his car at a stop sign down the road from the school, our hands locked together.

"He should be there by five at the earliest. His friends are coming over around six for dinner so I need to start cooking around…" I said as Edward suddenly raised his hand and interrupted me.

"There are friends coming? No one mentioned any friends," said Edward with a bit of a scowl. I looked at his eyes intently and he looked even more anxious than before when he thought it was just dinner with Charlie and I.

"Yeah… I'm sorry I didn't mention it. Billy and Jacob Black are coming over. Billy is my dad's best friend and Jacob is his son. They live down on the reservation at La Push and I am sure you will get along with them just fine, so stop worrying," I said genuinely as Edward heard the honk of the car behind us and made his way through the intersection, suddenly very quiet.

When we finally got into the house, I quickly noticed the clock on the wall, 3:15pm. "Come with me," I said simply as we dropped our book bags on the floor by the couch and I dragged Edward upstairs to my room. As I walked in, I casually threw my jacket on my desk chair and Edward stood at the doorway, looking in. "It's not like you've never been in here before," I said smugly as I remembered him showing up through my window the night of the Homecoming dance.

"It's different now though. Now I see your bed and I just… fuck," he grunted as he walked into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed, his hands fisted together in his lap.

"Relax. What the hell has gotten into you all of a sudden?" I asked as I moved closer to him and bent at the knees, my hands resting on his thighs. My mind immediately flashed to the fact that I was in the perfect position to pull out his cock and have my way with him, but considering how tense he was; this was definitely not the time to try anything. Especially something I had never done before. Perhaps if I had a bit more experience, I would be more willing to go down on him, but that just wasn't happening right now.

"Nothing, I swear. Did we need something from your room?" he asked as I noticed his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed and I suddenly stood up and pushed Edward against the bed, straddling his lap. His eyes grew wide in shock and I was overcome with something unexplainable as I began to kiss my way down his lips to his tempting throat. I felt Edward's hands grab my shoulders but I pushed my weight back against him, refusing to let him push me away.

I could feel Edward's excitement beneath me and I moved over him gently, desperately to feel it but not wanting to anger him by moving too quickly. Edward still seemed to harbor some aversion to us just doing it and even though I didn't want to push too hard, I didn't want to wait either. I noticed the time on the clock again and sat up slightly looking down at Edward, who still seemed surprised. "We didn't need anything from my room. I wanted something in my room though… you."

"Bella… your dad will…" he began to protest and I silenced him by kissing him again, biting on his bottom lip in the process. I was encouraged to continue based solely on the growls and moans Edward was releasing as my hands moved their way down his chest. I pulled back and looked at him shyly.

"My dad will not be home for at least an hour," I said confidently as I stood up from his lap and quickly yanked my t-shirt over my head, leaving me in my bra and jeans. "Get comfortable, I'll be right back," I said with a grin as I walked into my oversized closet and simply tried to compose myself. I could hear my old bed squeaking, so I knew Edward was doing something. I was tempted to peek but instead I calmed myself down as much as I could.

However, my mind began to wonder what all the noise was on the other side of the door. Was he getting undressed? Was he pulling down the covers on the bed? Did he make a run for it? I tentatively opened the door and saw his sock covered feet on the edge of my bed, so I relaxed and opened it fully. Edward hadn't left, but was resting comfortably in the middle of my bed, his hands behind his head and his feet crossed casually. I kicked off my shoes to make it seem like I had done something in the closet and then climbed onto the bed beside him.

"Are you alright?" he asked sweetly and I simply nodded my head and moved in for another kiss. As if he changed into a different person while I was in the closet, Edward was suddenly the aggressor. His hands reached up my back and he pulled me flush against his chest, so I was hovering over him again. Edward's legs suddenly wrapped around mine, effectively holding me in place and he leaned his head up and began kissing my neck eagerly.

I released a low moan as Edward's hands moved down my back and I felt him fumbling with my bra. I wanted so badly for us to have a repeat of Friday night, which had left me feeling hornier than I had ever felt in my entire life, but it was rough to come home alone. "Sit up," I heard Edward direct me and I did so eagerly and felt him move beneath me, into a sitting position as well. "Come back here," he said as he patted his crotch and my eyes grew wide.

"Don't start something you don't plan to finish Cullen," I said with a seductive grin as Edward rolled his eyes.

"Trust me Bella, if I was going to start that, I would most definitely finish it. You'd be screaming my name so fucking loudly you would lose your voice," he declared confidently as I grinned and reached over for his belt, desperate to get it off of him. "No."

"No?" I asked feeling somewhat saddened by his rejection.

"Bella, stop being so pushy about it. Yes, we will have sex, now come back here," he said sweetly as I tentatively climbed back onto his lap and Edward grabbed my bra, pulling it off of my shoulders and throwing it onto the floor. He leaned in and kissed right between my breasts before pulling back. "I want you more than I have ever wanted anything in my entire fucking life."

"I want you too, so much," I said genuinely as I withheld the urge to cry. Edward was it for me and I knew this, in fact, I had known for years and just hadn't done anything about it. I didn't want to waste another minute without him.

"I want you so badly that I know I can't just give you some quick fuck in your bedroom as we dreaded your dad coming home in 40 minutes. I want to take my time with you. Fuck, I _need_ to take my time when I have you, so let's just wait a bit and have fun in the process. I need you all night, not for half an hour," he said stoically before leaning down to suck on my neck and then he began trailing a line of kisses towards my bare breasts.

"Do something for me?"

"Anything Bella. I would do anything for you," he said sweetly and I completely believed him. I trusted every single word that came out of his mouth and loved him all the more for it.

"At least let this be equal between us," I declared as I grabbed the hem of his shirt and began tugging it upwards, over his chest. It was only fair that we were both topless, don't you think? Edward's hand reached over top of mine and finished the job, leaving him sitting beneath me, his bare and totally fuckhot chest practically calling out to me. I scooted back on his lap a bit and bent forward, immediately pulling one of his nipples into my mouth as his big, rough hands began massaging my breasts.

"God you feel so good, so fucking soft," Edward forced out as I bit down on his nipple and he then let out a small hiss. I worked my tongue in circles around him, envisioning his hard cock in its place and that simply spurred me on. Before I knew it, I was switching up which nipple I was sucking on and pinching the other. Edward growled above me before following my lead and suddenly pinching both of my nipples at once.

"Hey," I forced out as I pulled back from him and he began rubbing my tits softly instead.

"Turnabout is fair play baby," Edward said with a smirk as I he grabbed my face in his hands and pulled me down for a kiss. Our lips met, igniting the fire between us and before I knew it, I was suddenly repositioned on the bed, Edward hovering above me as he continued to kiss me fiercely.

"You have no idea how much I want you right now Bella," he forced out as I kissed his chin and wrapped my legs around him, pushing his hard on into my eager pussy. "Oh fuck."

"Yes please," I muttered lamely as Edward suddenly ground his dick against me again and I shuddered. He felt so hard and so fucking tempting, it was taking all of my willpower to not rip his jeans off with my teeth and have my way with him. "Don't stop, please," I begged of him as my fingers raked over his back and he continued to move against me.

"Bella," Edward forced out as I felt him move against me again, the seam of my jeans now pushing firmly against my clit, causing me to cry out in pleasure.

"Just don't stop, please," I pleaded as he moved one more time and I bit down on my bottom lip, the friction between us feeling so good to me. Edward's hand moved down my chest and between my legs as he pressed firmly against my heat.

"Let me make you feel good," he said huskily as his tongue moved to my breasts and he continued to press against me with his hand, moving up and down slowly and putting hard pressure on me, causing me to writhe beneath his touch.

"No… like before," I said breathlessly as Edward nodded his head and moved back between my legs, his mouth now latched onto one of my breasts before he began rubbing himself firmly against my denim covered crotch.

"I am so fucking hard for you Bella," he forced out through clenched teeth. I reached forward and began pulling on the waistband of his jeans, desperate to get them off of him now but he grabbed a hold of me and stilled my hands and I relented

A few minutes later after some more extremely heavy petting and forceful grinding, I bit down on my bottom lip and called out Edward's name as an unknown but very welcome feeling washed over me, my body shivering in pleasure.

"I'm gonna come. Oh Christ," Edward growled as he flinched and pulled back from me slightly and his face contorted in what looked like pain.

"Are you okay?" I asked as I sat up slightly and Edward kneeled in front of me breathless and smiling from ear to ear.

"I need to go home."

"What? Why?" I said as I sat up further and pulled my knees to my chest in a defensive position. "Did I do something _wrong_?" Edward reached his hands in front of me and rested them on my knee as he bent forward and kissed my lips sweetly as he tried to reassure me.

"You did nothing wrong. Fuck, that was unexpected but so fucking good. You are fucking exquisite when you come," he said as I let down my legs and looked at him in surprise. Well that explains the sensations I was feeling a few minutes ago. "I have to go home so I can change. I don't think your father would appreciate me sitting at the dining room table with wet jeans from his daughter dry humping me and making me come."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh," he replied with a laugh as he looked between my legs and noticed my own wet spot. I had to admit, I felt like going for round two when I saw Edward lick his lips as he stared at me, but then my alarm clock went off, reminding us that we had shit to do. "Give me fifteen minutes. I'll run home, put on some new jeans and boxers and then I'll be back to help you make dinner, okay?"

I nodded my head slowly as he reached forward with one hand to cup my cheek as he pulled me in for a tender kiss. "So fucking hot when you come. I can't wait till you do that with my cock inside of you," he whispered quietly into my ear before biting it. I moaned from his words alone as he jumped off of the bed and I smiled at the obviously issue he had going on in his jeans.

"Get going. My father is expecting you to be here when he gets home."

"I'm leaving, but I might suggest you change to, I can smell you from over here and it's getting really hard to leave," he said with a smirk. "And by 'it's getting really hard', I mean my dick." Edward winked at me as I stood up and walked over towards the door where he was standing.

"Hurry back to me."

"I'll be back before you know it."

**EPOV**

Holy fucking shit. Best fucking dry hump ever and although I had never had a dry hump before because they always turned into actual sex, I was certain it beat every other one known to man. As if I wasn't excited enough when I got to access her tits again and I began showing them as much love I could, then Bella was pleading me to continue rubbing against her. I never meant to do it to begin with, but I couldn't help it. Even now I sat here in the driveway of my parents' house, willing my newly formed hard on to go away, I wished I was back in her room, thrusting against her. Fuck, she even smelled heavenly after the fact and I couldn't stop my brain from going into overdrive as I thought about getting her panties off of her and getting my mouth all over her sweet pussy.

I shook the thoughts from my head and ran around the back of the house to the kitchen door and took the back stairs up to my bedroom, avoiding my mother in the process, thank god. I quickly stripped off my jeans and boxers and tossed them at the bottom of my laundry hamper as I resigned myself to the fact that I would actually need to start a load of laundry to hide the evidence.

I looked at the clock and decided to take a quick shower to clean up and five minutes later I was jumping out and pulling on a new pair of a jeans and a sweatshirt as I grabbed my laundry bucket and went downstairs to the laundry room.

"What are you doing home?" asked my mother as she caught me entering the laundry room.

"I spilled some soda on my lap after school. Can't exactly go over to the Chief's house like that right?" I said quickly, suddenly proud of myself for coming up with such a plausible lie.

"You've never done laundry in your life. I can understand you getting changed, but why the sudden need to actually wash your own clothes Edward?" asked my mother as she stalked towards me with her eye brow raised, making me nervous as hell.

"The bucket was filled, so I thought I would do it. You're going to make me late you know," I said with a reluctant sigh as my mom rolled her eyes. "Plus, don't you think knowing how to do my laundry would be something I should know before I move away to college?"

Thankfully, my mother relented and showed me how to start a load of laundry, disappearing before I began emptying everything out of the basket and into the machine. A wash of relief fell over me as I closed the lid tightly and ran back to my room to fetch my wallet and cell phone. I ran down the stairs and bid my mother a quick goodnight before jumping in the Volvo and speeding away, eager to see my girl again.

When I pulled in the driveway, I was relieved to see that everything was the exact same way I had left it. I parked on the street in front of their house and practically sprinted in the house, without even knocking, and found Bella in the kitchen talking to some tall dude with long hair. "Hey," I said casually as I walked in and the guy and Bella both turned around. He looked to be about our age, but I had never seen him around town before, but my blood began to boil with jealousy. Bella looked excited to see me, but I couldn't say the same about her friend, who looked downright pissed at the interruption.

"You were quick," said Bella with a laugh as she came over to stand beside me, her hand wrapping firmly around my waist as I kissed the top of her head, but continued to stare at the guy a few feet away.

"Yeah, I would have been here sooner but my mom apparently wanted to teach me the finer points of doing my own laundry," I said with a small laugh as Bella patted my chest and then look at her friend. Tall guy and I were both sizing each other up so I took a moment to compose myself and break the tension. "Umm… are you going to introduce me to your friend?"

"Oh shit, yeah. Sorry baby. Edward, this is Jacob Black a friend of my family. Jacob, this is Edward, my boyfriend," Bella said cheerfully as I extended my hand out and Jacob shook it rather tightly, his fingers flexing mid grip, which made me laugh to myself. I kept Bella by my side though, so I let a smug smirk cross my face knowing full well she was mine and not his.

"It's great to meet you. Bella has told me so much about you and your dad. Where is he anyways?" I asked as I looked around the kitchen and the living room. "Bella told me you guys were coming together."

I watched intently as Bella opened the fridge and began pulling out things that she would need for her enchiladas. She insisted that Jacob and I sit down to get to know each other as she worked away in the kitchen, so I did as she wanted and grabbed a seat at the kitchen table, which afford me to the chance to watch both of them closely. "I finished fixing my bike, so I brought it with me. My dad will be here in about an hour to join us for the game," he said casually as he sat down across from me.

"Oh you have a bike, like a Schwinn or something?" I asked all serious.

"Uh no. I have a dirt bike," he said angrily as Bella snickered from the kitchen. I felt a bit like an ass because I was being serious. I could tell he was a bit younger than us, but it couldn't have been by much.

"Cool. "

I spent the next twenty minutes trying to get Jacob to open up to me. I figured it was smart to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. I could tell by the way he looked at Bella that he was interested in her more than a friend, but I was pleased that she only had eyes for me. I kept catching her staring at me while she should have been cooking, but I didn't care. Every time Jacob saw her watching me, he seemed even more frustrated. Edward 1, Jacob 0.

"Do you need any help Bella?" Jacob asked after the room got eerily silent because I ran out of questions. He never once tried to get to know me at all and I was the one putting forth of the effort, which I really didn't want to do at all.

"No Jake, I think I can handle this."

"Are you sure, cause I'm not adverse to helping you? You could always teach me how to chop things again," he added smugly as he turned to look at me. Bella refused him once again and I was at my wits end.

Jacob had officially begun to really get on my nerves and was obviously flirting with Bella, so I stood up from the table and went to stand behind her. I bent my head down into the crook of her neck and kissed her sweetly before whispering into her ear, "I can still smell you. It's so fucking sexy."

"You cannot Edward," she said loudly and with a groan as she looked up at Jacob, no doubt feeling embarrassed. "I took care of everything shortly after you left."

I was about to respond loud enough for Jacob to hear me when the Chief suddenly walked in the room and stopped just inside the door, surveying the situation before him. "Well, isn't this fun," he said with a laugh. "Dinner smells good Bella."

"Thanks Dad," Bella said with a blush as I moved away from her slightly my erection no longer pressing into her ass. "Dinner should be ready in about half an hour."

"Hey Charlie, how are you doing?" asked Jacob as he interrupted the conversation between Bella and her dad. I felt a little bit envious that he was calling him Charlie, but I liked to think I had more manners than him and wasn't raised in a barn.

"I'm great Jake. That's awesome Bella, just in time for the game," he stated happily as I watched him ascend the stairs to his bedroom. The kitchen fell silent as I gave Bella another chaste kiss on the lips and helped her slide the pan with the enchiladas into the oven. It was awkward and tense as I darted my eyes between Jacob and Bella, but thankfully the tension was broken when Charlie came down the stairs and made us all join him in the living room to watch the pre-game.

Billy showed up just as Bella was pulling dinner out of the oven and I continued on with being the prodigal boyfriend in front of the Chief, so I helped Bella serve up dinner, which we all ate off of TV trays in the living room in front of the TV. "Their commentators suck these days. Frank Gifford, now he was the man. Well, until he married Kathie Lee and basically handed her his balls," announced Billy after he took a sip of his beer and turned back to his dinner.

"Even OJ Simpson was better than these idiots," added the Chief as I let out a low laugh, finding it ironic that the Chief preferred a criminal to do his commentary.

"Al Michaels wasn't half bad. Too bad he doesn't do the play-by-play since ESPN took over Monday Night Football," I added in, pleased with myself when I saw the Chief nod his head in agreement. With the exception of Jacob eye fucking my chick all night; this was turning out pretty good for me. I moved slightly closer to Bella who was sitting beside me on the couch and wrapped my arm around her shoulder once I had finished dinner.

We watched the game for the next few hours, Billy and the Chief cursing the lackluster plays by some of the Seattle linebackers, but I kept quiet and simply reveled in being with her and her family. It was obvious that Billy and Jacob were practically family to her based on the rapport they shared, but Jacob remained quiet almost all night unless someone spoke to him.

"Fucking Edwards," the Chief cursed out when the Quarterback for Buffalo made an excellent pass that was caught in the end zone by one of the other players. I hadn't actually been paying attention to the game at the time and was busying myself by running my fingers through Bella's hair as I greedily breathed in her scent. If the quarterback had a different name, I probably wouldn't have turned around at all.

The game ended just before 10, with Buffalo winning 21 to 7. Billy and Charlie cursed the two inceptions that Hasselbeck threw as the reason for the loss and I just nodded my head in agreement, to make it seem like I had paid attention to the game.

"We're gonna get going," said Billy as he let out a slight yawn as he turned towards Jacob. "Go put your bike in the back of the truck."

"Okay. Can I talk to you for a second Bella? Alone?" he asked a bit rudely as I nodded my head towards Bella and stepped back from her for a moment. She walked out onto the porch with Jake as I said a quick goodbye to Billy. I then stepped into the kitchen and grabbed myself another soda as I saw Bella come back in, looking upset.

Billy and Jacob left almost immediately and I found myself desperately searching for ways to stay a little longer. I wanted to spend time with Bella, but I also wanted to know what Jacob had said to her so I helped her clean up in the living room and then we did dishes together.

"Shouldn't you be getting home son?" asked Charlie when he walked in the kitchen just after ten thirty and I was there, trying to convince Bella to let me touch her tits, which she refused since Charlie was in the next room.

"Yeah, I'm just gonna say goodnight and then I'm on my way," I said reluctantly as Charlie nodded his head and then waved goodbye.

"I'm heading up to bed Bella, lock up when Edward leaves please," he said as Bella and I both waved goodnight to him. I listened as his feet climbed up the stairs heavily and the moment I heard the door shut for his bedroom, I pushed Bella up against the fridge and my hands immediately went to her breasts.

"Any chance for a repeat of earlier this afternoon?" I asked desperately as I moved my lips down to her neck, sucking tenderly as I continued to pull and tweak her nipples through her thin cotton t-shirt. Before waiting for a response, I grasped her thigh tightly in my hand and hitched it onto my hip, grinding my aching cock against her.

"Edward," she growled out with a moan as her hands threaded through my hair, tugging gently.

"I need you so bad."

"Edward," she repeated again, this time sounded a little frustrated.

"Please don't say no," I uttered as I pulled back and then crashed my lips against her, desperate to touch her. I was about to move my hand down to cup her pussy when I felt her hand grab my wrist, pulling me away from her. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? My father is awake upstairs and you are trying to hump me against my fridge, with my father's magnetic bottle opener digging into my back, that's what's wrong," she said quietly as she pushed against my shoulders and I reluctantly stepped away.

"What did Jacob say to you outside?" I asked curiously as I shoved my hands in my pocket to keep them from groping Bella.

"He's concerned about us. Thinks we're moving too fast," she said reluctantly as she bent her head down and began staring at the linoleum floor.

"Do you think we are moving too fast?" I asked as I moved towards her and lifted her chin with my finger so that I could see her. "I want to go at whatever pace you do."

"I'm happy with us right now. I like where we're going and what we've done Edward. I wouldn't change it for the world," she said as she rested her head onto my chest and hugged me tightly, her breathing starting to calm down a bit. "You don't like Jacob do you?"

_Where the hell did that one come from?_

"I don't know him enough to like him," I admitted, although I could have said something a little more positive like 'he's alright'. Bella immediately quirked her eye brow at me as we walked together to the front door, no doubt thinking that I didn't like him.

"So you know him enough to hate him? I saw the way you guys were looking at each other all night," she said quietly as she stood out on the porch with me, her arms wrapped tightly around her chest as I waited impatiently for her to say something else. "Are you gonna tell me why you instantly disliked him?"

"If I tell you the reason, you'll groan at me and call me stupid. I know how boys think Bella and I know what he was thinking the moment you announced me as your boyfriend. I know what he was thinking as he watched you all night. Don't tell me I'm over reacting either," I said a hint of anger in my voice. Bella didn't take kindly to my attitude around Peter when I discovered he had asked her out, so I knew she wouldn't like my thoughts on Jacob either.

"Tell me the reason."

"He wants you," I blurted out, feeling like an idiot for showing my jealousy yet again. "He was practically eye fucking you all night and he kept staring at your tits. Not to mention the sour look he got on his face when I walked into the house earlier tonight. He clearly wasn't expecting me to be there and was looking forward to monopolizing all of your time."

"You know I only want you right?" she asked gently as her hands rested on my chest and she got up on her tip toes to kiss my lips.

"Yeah, I know. I just wish I could stop other guys from having thoughts about you the way I have thoughts about you," I admitted ruefully, feeling like a complete idiot the moment the words left my mouth.

"How do you think of me?"

"Honestly?"

"Yeah, honestly," she said with a laugh as we walked down the steps of her porch and towards my car. I opened the door slowly and Bella leaned back against the car as I leaned into her, my hands resting on either side of her body against the car so that she couldn't get away.

"I think you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I think of you naked with me buried inside of you. I think of you with your lips wrapped around my cock. I think about you begging me for more. I think about you writhing beneath me as you come over and over again, my name falling from your luscious lips," I said forcefully as I ran my thumb along her bottom lip sensually.

"Shit."

"Do you finally believe I want you just as much as you want me?" I asked coolly as I saw her gulp slowly and I latched my lips onto the side of her neck.

"Y-y-yes," she stammered out as my cock began to ache again, desperately needing some form of release.

"I need to go now, but I will see you tomorrow morning at your locker. Sleep well baby," I said with a smirk as I pulled away from her before giving Bella one more chaste kiss and getting into the car.

I was relieved when I got home and discovered my parents had already gone to bed. When I walked into the bedroom, I had to smile when I saw my pile of laundry was dried and folded neatly in the laundry basket on my bed, so I put it onto the floor and turned down my bed before I ran into the bathroom and turned on the shower.

I considered having a cold shower to calm myself, but opted instead for a hot one as I jerked off to thoughts of Bella's tits in my mouth as I dry humped her and came in my pants. It wasn't the least bit embarrassing, but suddenly I was overwhelmed with images of her riding me and I was lost. Two pumps later, I was coming all over the tile wall, my left hand holding me up as I struggled to reclaim my breathing. I slept like a log when I finally climbed into bed, dreaming of fucking my girlfriend.

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed enough to hit that little green button right there… you know it. That one, there. *pointing eagerly towards the review button.***

**As a small side note, the next chapter promises more interaction between all three couples, as well as the three girls by themselves. Expect and update by the weekend and a teaser on Thursday. I'm out of commission on Wednesday WOO HOO!**

**Ohh... fic rec time… Hand Me Down by hope4more. If you like pregnancy stories, this one is for you. Edward is so fricking adorable I just wanna put him in my pocket and take him home. It's also complete!**


	12. My Barn Raising

**A/N: Apparently you dirty folk love a good dry hump. I got a great response from the last chapter, so thank you. **

**Here's my public service announcements for the day. I have a one-shot in Ninapolitan's D.I.L.F contest, so go check it out. It's on my profile page and is called 'Sweet and Lowdown'.**

**If you have been living under a rock, then you aren't aware of the Esme Contest that me and kikikinz are hosting. We already have our first submission from the fuckawesome sparagus, so go check it out. Then go write your own one-shot. We have some awesome authors who are planning to write for it.**

**Usual shout outs to MaggieMay14, my fuckawesome beta who I am going to see the Kings of Leon with tomorrow night. Also to my pre-readers, flightlessbird11 and beegurl13, you two rock! I also love the Muppet brigade over on Twitter, even if ARenee363 changed her picture from Animal to some tattoo porn. LOL**

**I don't own twilight, but I do have a fic rec at the bottom of the chapter.**

**BPOV**

The next few days at school were kinda blissful. Edward had practice every single day after school, but we disappeared during lunch together and spent time making out, either in the janitor's closet or behind the school if it wasn't raining. We never got as far as we did at my house on the Monday, but it wasn't for a lack of trying. I almost convinced him to come over to my house on Wednesday night and sneak back in my window, but then Edward called and reminded me that he had a game on Thursday after school in Port Angeles and he wanted to be completely refreshed.

"Seriously? You're turning down making out with me because of football?" I asked incredulously into the phone as I tapped my fingers aimlessly against my leg. I wasn't really upset about the whole thing, I just missed him.

"Bella, I would be there in a heartbeat if your father ever went to bed before eleven and didn't own a gun, I promise you," he said genuinely as I lay back in my bed, aching for him.

"I'm naked."

"FUCK, really?" he asked, suddenly very excited and I immediately felt a bit of remorse for lying to him.

"No. I just wanted to see you."

"Bella, you're going to give me a heart attack."

"I'd much rather give you something else," I said seductively as I thought of other ways to break his resolve. "Did I ever tell you what Rosalie and Alice got me for my birthday?"

"How the hell is that relevant to our conversation?" he inquired. I could hear the curiosity ripe in his voice and smiled to myself as I walked over to my dresser and fished the toy out from underneath all my socks and underwear. I took it back with me to the bed, not planning to use it, but still hoping I could convince Edward to come over.

"Trust me, it is," I said slyly as I turned it on and held it up to the phone, trying to hold back my laughter. When I finally lifted the phone back to my ear and turned off the toy, resting it back on the bed, I was greeted with silence. "Are you still there?"

"Do you seriously have that?"

"Have what?" I asked with a nervous giggle as I heard Edward sigh on the other end of the phone.

"You know… a vibrator," he replied, practically whispering and I giggled louder into the phone. Edward was never shy about anything sexual and suddenly tell him I have a vibrator and he becomes all nervous, which I found completely adorable.

"Yes."

"Have you used it?" he asked breathlessly, waiting for my answer. Part of me was tempted to tell him I was using it right then but I think it might seriously kill him.

"No."

"SHIT," I heard him curse out loudly through clenched teeth. "I can't do it baby. I am sooo fucking sorry."

"It's okay Edward, I understand. I'll see you at school tomorrow okay?" I said reluctantly as I went to hang up the phone and I heard him speak up quickly.

"What are you gonna do?" he asked nervously as I giggled quietly so that he couldn't hear me. I glanced down at the clock and saw that it was only nine thirty, so I was most likely going to do some reading for English class and go to sleep. He didn't need to know that though.

"I'm going take care of myself. See ya later baby," I replied as I hung up the phone, feeling rather smug. I tossed my phone down onto my nightstand and pulled out my book of short stories for English, leaned back against my pillows and began reading.

Not even twenty minutes later, as I was curled up on my side with my iPod blaring old school Faith Hill, I felt something cold along my leg and jumped back, having not heard any noise in my room. When I turned, there stood Edward looking completely frazzled. "What's wrong?" I asked him as I sat up against my headboard.

"Where is it?"

"Where the hell is what?" I asked in confusion as I noticed Edward's eyes darting around the room.

"You know what I am talking about," he said as he came closer and began to whisper. "Your vibrator, where is it?" I broke out into laughter and Edward looked mortified. I was excited that he was standing here in my room, but a little flustered that he came because of that. I shouldn't have teased him the way I did.

"It's put away," I said as my eyes darted towards the dresser and Edward noticed. He suddenly stepped over and opened up my first drawer, pulling out some of my more risqué panties and bras.

"Shit, when do I get to see this one?" he asked smugly as he held up a black lace set I had gotten over the summer and never worn. Rosalie and Alice had basically made me buy it, insisting that Edward would one day enjoy, which made me laugh now that he was all excited about it.

"I'll wear it to the fair on Friday night if you are a good boy." Edward's eyes immediately perked up at the mention of either the lingerie or the fair, I wasn't sure which. We were going with our friends to the Forks Fall Fair, which was one of those annual events that everyone in town went to. It was never anything exciting. Just some rides, a demolition derby, some games and cotton candy, but it would definitely be a fun night out. Especially since Emmett and Jasper were both beyond excited about the derby.

"Ah ha," Edward yelled out, breaking me from my reverie as I jumped up and covered his mouth.

"Charlie is still awake you idiot."

Edward shrugged his shoulders and pulled the vibrator out of the top drawer, feeling very proud of himself. "It's a little creepy."

"It's an artificial penis Edward, what the fuck did you expect it to be… cuddly like a bunny?" I asked as Edward tossed it onto the bed and suddenly stalked towards me, his eyes dark with desire.

"Did you use it?"

"N-n-no," I stuttered as Edward backed me up against the wall and put his hands on either side of my head, holding me in place. Suddenly his cell phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out and glared at it before shoving it back in his pocket again. He leaned in, his lips grazing my ear lobe gently as he began to whisper to me.

"You will only use that with me Bella," he said as I let out a small gasp in arousal. "I need to go home now before I get grounded, but I trust me when I say this, if I didn't have to leave, I'd be eating you out right now." I closed my eyes, letting his words sink in as his lips descended on my neck and when I finally opened them, he was gone. I almost thought he hadn't been in my room, but then I noticed the toy was still lying on my bed and my underwear drawer was open. _Motherfucker._

Thursday at school was hell. I saw Edward in the morning but at lunchtime he and the rest of the team headed off to Port Angeles for the football game. It sucked royally because the cheerleaders were going with them and even traveling on the same bus, so when I went outside to say goodbye, Jessica was looking at me all smug as she was dressed in her tiny excuse for a cheerleading uniform. I should mention the obscene size of them to Charlie so he can complain to the PTA or whatever.

"Call me when you get home okay?" I asked as we walked hand in hand towards the bus. I caught Jessica staring at us a few feet away so I pulled Edward down and kissed him firmly, our tongues mingling happily until Coach Clapp forced them all to get on the bus.

"I will. I'll miss you," Edward said sweetly as he kissed me quickly one more time and loaded onto the bus with the other players. Rosalie and Alice came to stand beside me as Jessica walked by and shot me a dirty look.

"Don't worry girls, we'll take good care of them," she said smugly as she loaded onto the bus with Lauren and Lisa right behind her. Alice and I both flipped them off as Rosalie shot out a mouth full of expletives which was overheard by everyone and made Emmett shove his head out the window.

"That's my baby," he called out with a cheerful grin and Rosalie ran back to the bus and jumped up, kissing him through the small window. After we watched the bus pull away, the three of us headed into the cafeteria and our now lonely table and actually sat down to enjoy a conversation. It seemed like it had been so long since we had spent any amount of time together.

"Okay, spill the beans Bella," said Alice firmly as she took a bite of the salad she had sitting in front of her. I twirled the cap for my lemonade beneath my fingers as I looked up at her anxiously.

"What do you want to know?" I asked.

"Is he a good kisser? How far have you gotten?" asked Alice quickly, apparently full of questions for me.

"How big is his dick?" asked Rosalie crudely as I looked at her with wide eyes. She immediately sensed my anxiousness and disregarded it as she quickly continued on with her line of questioning. "You don't know do you? So then you haven't given him a blow job yet huh? Have you felt it though… through boxers or jeans or anything? Please tell me you have moved past first base Bella."

"Yes, we moved past it and no I haven't seen it," I admitted ruefully as I was suddenly mortified and buried my face in my hands. I felt Alice's hand on my back as she began talking to Rosalie and me, while trying to soothe me. Unfortunately, it wasn't helping.

"Jasper and I haven't done it yet, if it makes you feel better, although we have gotten to third base. For the record by the way, he's hung like a fucking moose. I think if any girl here got anywhere close to him I would seriously snap their necks," she said with a giggle, though I could tell she was being as serious as a heart attack. "That boy can sweet talk with the best of them and the dirty talk... sweet Jesus the dirty talk. Oh and the things he can do with his fingers…" she continued to say before she suddenly trailed off and when I looked at her she was clearly daydreaming.

I poked her quickly but she didn't move. "I think she's been hypnotized by his cock," laughed Rosalie as she turned me towards her and became all serious. "Listen, you don't need to rush with Edward. I can tell by the look on his face that he's not going anywhere. I just need to k now what we are working with here. Have you done anything?"

"Yes, we've done stuff. Second base has been sufficiently reached and we are currently hanging around there. I keep trying to steal third and he keeps catching me," I admitted with a laugh as Alice suddenly pulled herself out of her Jasper induced coma and turned to us. "I want to move forward but I don't want to come off like a complete slut."

"There's no way that can happen," said Alice happily as I then explained to them all the things that Edward and I had done, from the kissing to the dry humping and everything in between. Alice actually seemed surprised that we had done so much in so little time. "I'm kinda proud of you. My little girl is growing up," said Alice with mock sadness a she wiped a fake tear from her cheek.

"Fuck off Alice," I said with a groan as I turned towards Rosalie. "Any other questions?"

"Are you on the pill?"

"Yeah. Ironically, Doctor Cullen prescribed it to me two years ago for some other issues I was having. Can I just say it's really weird that my boyfriends' dad is my doctor? Very weird," I said with a small frown.

"Don't worry about it. They have some sort of hippopotamus oath that restricts them from talking about their patients or some shit like that," said Alice I looked at her incredulously and started laughing, with Rosalie following right behind me.

"It's called the Hippocratic oath genius," Rosalie retorted as our laughter filled the cafeteria and some classmates turned around to look at us. "Do you think you and Edward will do it soon? I mean, I can't compare you guys to me and Em or even Alice and Jasper, but I know you want to right?"

"Yeah. It's no longer just because I don't want to be a virgin anymore though," I said shyly. "I just want to be with him like that. I want to give him all of me, in addition to my heart and soul."

"Aww, our girl is falling in love."

"Shut your pie hole Alice," I replied as the bell rang signaling the end of lunch. I grabbed my bag and headed off towards Biology, silently cursing the fact that the rest of the afternoon would suck until I heard from Edward.

When the school day ended, Rosalie drove me and Alice home in her oversized truck and we hung around in my living room, doing homework and chatting aimlessly about our plans for the weekend. "So, did you tell Edward about Saturday yet? I mentioned it to Em and he was positively jealous of us," laughed Rosalie as she flipped open her calculus notebook and stared at it for a few moments. "When the hell will I ever use calculus in real life?"

"No, I haven't told him yet," I admitted reluctantly as they both looked at me in surprise. "He won't exactly be pleased when I tell him."

"Did you tell him you were going away overnight at least?" asked Alice as she walked back from the fridge clutching three sodas for us. I shook my head slowly as their eyes grew wide. "I told Jasper. What if Em or Jazz tells Edward before you do, do you think he will be upset?"

"I was kinda hoping to tell him after the fact. He'll be a lot less concerned once he knows I am safe," I said with a slight grin as the girls relented. "I've wanted to do this since the sixth grade and I saw that crazy video online. Sure Charlie insisted I wait until I turn 18, but it's all good now, right?" I asked as I looked between my two best friends, now feeling somewhat frantic that I hadn't told Edward what I was doing on the weekend.

"Tell him," said Rosalie stoically as my cell phone began buzzing and I pulled it from the pocket of my jeans. It was Edward.

"Hey," I said casually. "We were just talking about you."

"All good I hope," he said with a chuckle as I let out a quiet sigh and wished he was here with me right now. It hadn't even been six hours that we had been apart and I was already a mess.

"Not at all. We were discussing penis size and you ranked third in the group," I said with a laugh as Rosalie and Alice both burst out laughing behind me. Edward, of course, let out a snort knowing full well I had yet to see his. "So… how was the game?"

"Meh, we won but the other team was full of douche bags. There was a fight afterwards and Emmett may or may not have kicked someone in the nuts with his cleats," Edward said seriously as I suddenly heard a distinctly female voice in the background call his name. "The team is going out to celebrate the win. Do you want to meet us?"

I covered my hand over the receiver and quickly told the girls that the boys wanted us to meet them to celebrate, but I was shocked when they both shook their heads in the negative. "Apparently not. I think we're going to have a lingerie pillow fight and then go down on each other. You know, usual Thursday night fun at the Swan household," I said with a loud laugh as I heard the female voice in the background again calling his name.

"You are evil."

"Yeah, so I've been told," I said quietly, now suspicious about the voice in the background. "Sounds like you have someone who wants your attention anyways. I'll see you at school in the morning." My mind starting going a mile a minute as the green eyed monster reared his ugly head and I began wondering what fucking chick was trying to get anywhere near my boyfriend.

"Bella, are you…" I heard him start to say before I stupidly interrupted him.

"Yeah?"

"Shit… I'll see you in the morning." I closed my phone and looked towards Alice and Rose who were both a little shocked at our conversation.

"Why the hell would you do that? If he mentions anything to Em about lingerie, my night is completely shot to hell. If he comes over here, he's going to try to have his way with me on your kitchen counter," Rosalie began to say as I noticed her eyes grow wide and I turned around to see my father standing there.

"Evening girls," he said with a small groan, no doubt having heard Rosalie's outburst. "Are you ladies staying for dinner?" Charlie pulled his coat off and hung it on the coat rack, followed by his holster. I used to be scared shitless whenever I saw Charlie's gun when I was little, but he was pretty diligent about gun safety around the house, so I don't worry anymore. The only one who worries about the gun is Edward and honestly, he might have something to be worried about.

"Sure Papa Swan," said Alice as Rosalie nodded her head slowly, still mortified by her remark. My dad instructed me to call and order the pizza as he walked up the stairs to get changed out of his uniform. When we heard his door shut firmly, Rosalie jumped up from her seat on the couch.

"Your dad must think I am some sort of turbo slut now. Shit," she cursed out as I hugged her tightly, hoping I was reassuring her somewhat. "I actually care what he thinks, ya know?"

"I know baby," I said soothingly as I pulled away and headed into the kitchen to get the menu for Gino's. "It's not like he's going to call you out on it or anything. He's a little too laid back and non-confrontational thankfully." The girls both agreed and went back to their homework as I ordered two pizzas and some garlic bread for us.

Charlie came down shortly before the pizza arrived and paid the driver as we all got comfortable in the living room, eating our pizza while Charlie watched SportsCenter. "So are you girls ready for this weekend? We're going to take my truck with us instead of the cruiser. I figured you girls would prefer that right?"

We all looked around the room at each other, as we spit out our pizza in confusion. "You're coming with us? I thought you just had to sign the permission form and I was good to go?" I asked in frustration, my eyes wild and my hands moving erratically in front of me.

"You're 18 now Bella. You technically don't need my permission, and yes, I am going with you. I got us two hotel rooms for the night so it's not like I will be cramping your style, I just want to be there. Do you have a problem with that?" Charlie stared at me and I could tell he wasn't going to back down, so all three of us simply said 'No, sir', softly and resigned ourselves for a weekend with Charlie.

**EPOV**

When I hung up from the phone with Bella, Emmett came bounding over to me all excited. "So are the girls on their way over?"

"No."

"What the fuck do you mean no?" he asked incredulously as Jasper came over as well, looking rather smug, although he did deserve it because he had kicked three successful field goals. Just then, Jessica walked by, purring my name disgustingly as I shoved my finger down my throat and mock vomited. She had been saying my name almost the entire time I was on the phone with Bella and I was kinda pissed she could hear Jess. "Why aren't they coming over?"

"Bella claimed they were having a lingerie pillow fight, but I don't believe that for a second since Charlie should be home by now," I laughed as Emmett's mischievous grin suddenly turned into a frown. We had been waiting in the parking lot of the high school after the game since all the players wanted to head to the main diner in town to celebrate and I had really been hoping that Bella would join us. I never thought I would miss school while I was away at a game, but I really missed being in health class with her.

"Jesus Christ. If that lingerie pillow fight is legit Cullen, I might need to break your legs," laughed Emmett as I groaned and pushed him out of the way.

"Are you going to the diner Edward?" asked Jessica as she suddenly lifted her foot onto the bumper of Emmett's truck and bent over suggestively.

"No. I just lost my appetite."

Emmett and Jasper grinned at me and the three of us agreed to go back to Casa de Whitlock for a little while. I just happened to drive by Bella's house on the way over, even though it was completely out of the way and noticed both Rosalie's red truck and her father's cruiser were parked in the driveway. There was definitely no lingerie pillow fight going on.

When I pulled up to Jasper's house, I wasn't surprised to see his parents weren't home. It was a regular occurrence for his father to be out of town on business and I seriously didn't think Jasper minded the peace and quiet, especially since Alice no doubt spent a ton of time over at his place. I wished my parents or the Chief would go away for a night or two so I had more time alone with Bella. With the exception of our Monday afternoon dry hump, it seemed like the fates were conspiring against us and I was getting cock blocked at every possible moment.

I walked inside and found the boys pounding back shots of Jack Daniels with big smiles on their faces. "For the record, the Chief is home so there is no lingerie pillow fight going on," I said as Emmett gave me a quick high five.

"No wonder it took you so long to get here," laughed Jasper as he poured another shot and slid it along the counter towards me. I quickly let it pour down my throat, the burn a welcome relief as I looked at my friends with a grin.

"Yeah, I know. I'm completely pussy whipped," I said with a sigh as we moved into the living room and Jasper pulled out his Xbox360.

"Shouldn't you be getting pussy to actually be pussy whipped?" asked Emmett smugly as I punched him on the shoulder. I didn't really want to go into detail about my sex life with them so I changed to a completely different topic before I was forced to either duct tape Emmett's mouth shut or break his jaw, either was completely feasible.

"What time are we meeting at the fair?"

"Six. We need to get good seats for the derby," said Jasper enthusiastically, his hands rubbing together at the prospect of watching piece of shit cars slam into one another. "I'm picking up Alice at five thirty. Do you guys want to meet at the gates?"

Emmett and I both nodded our heads and we spent the next three hours playing video games and eating hot pockets until my mother called, eager to have me come home. When I got into the house my parents were both sitting in the living room, watching The Colbert Report, which surprised me. "How was the game?" my mother called out to me as I explained quickly how things had gone.

"So, what's going on here tonight?" I asked as sat down in the empty loveseat and looked at them curiously.

"Nothing," said my father as my mother looked at him oddly and then nudged him as though she wanted him to say something to me. "Oh yeah… your mother and I are concerned with how fast things are moving between you and Bella."

"Seriously?" I asked as I broke out into laughter and actually slapped my knee. I don't think I had ever done that before.

"Yes seriously. You snuck out of here late last night and I'm pretty sure you went over to her house," said my father as he looked at me disapprovingly, his eyes narrowed. I couldn't help but continue to laugh. My mother always thought it was a great idea if got a steady girlfriend, instead of fuck buddies and now that I have done that, they are worried about how fast we were moving.

"Okay, yes. I went to her house last night, but for the record all we did was talk and I wasn't even there that long," I said, surprised at my honesty.

"Edward, are you…" my mother began as I interrupted her quickly, knowing exactly where she was heading with her question.

"No, we are not having sex, alright?" I forced out through clenched teeth. "Even if we were, I don't see how that is any of your business. It's not like I'm gonna go knock her up or something." My mother looked at me in complete surprise by my candor and I rolled my eyes as I got up off of the loveseat and began to leave the room. "Just so you know, I really like her. I'm not going to do anything stupid."

"Edward, we aren't done discussing this," snapped my father as I stepped up the stairs, my feet loud against the hardwood.

"Yes, we are." I slammed my bedroom door behind me and immediately called Bella, desperate to hear her voice. It went to voicemail, so I left her a quick message to bid her goodnight and then I had a quick shower before heading to bed.

School the next day was boring as all hell. Jessica kept winking at me while I stood in line to get lunch for Bella and me. There was so much winking in fact, that I had to ask her if she needed to have her vision checked. Okay, I was a little more blunt and asked her if she had come in her eye, but it did the job and she ran away mortified.

When we finally got out of school, I couldn't have been happier. Unfortunately for me, Bella was going home with the girls to get ready for out night out at the Forks Fall Fair. "Five thirty right?" I reminded her as she nodded her head and I followed her like a lost puppy towards Rosalie's truck. Emmett was standing on the step of her truck, leaning in and kissing her like crazy as I noticed Jasper and Alice beside his truck making out like banshees.

"Yes Edward, five thirty. I'll be ready, I promise."

"Can I come earlier?" I asked as Rosalie suddenly yelled out from the cab of the truck.

"No, you cannot come any earlier. Jesus, you are an impatient fuck aren't you?" she said as I flipped her the bird and she gave Emmett an angry glare.

"Why the fuck are you getting mad at me? You yelled at him and he flipped you off. If you were any other girl but MY girl, I would have fucking flipped you off too," he said with a laugh as he hopped down from the truck and came over to where Bella and I were standing. She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before hoping into the truck and closing the door tight behind her. Alice followed suit and soon the three of us guys were standing there watching them drive out of the parking lot, Tim McGraw blaring from Rosalie's speakers.

"We're fucked."

"Definitely."

I pulled up in my shitty ass Volvo right at five thirty and was relieved to see that both Rosalie's truck and the Chief's cruiser were nowhere in sight. I practically ran up the stairs in my dark jeans and grey hoodie. My mother informed me of the weather as I was leaving the house and she forced me to dress warmer than just the long sleeved t-shirt I was wearing. Even though I had rolled my eyes at the time, I knew I would appreciate it in the long run, especially since it was already a bit chilly.

I rang the door bell and waiting impatiently as I heard some cursing from inside the house and then a loud crash. "Hi," Bella said when she whipped open the door and stumbled back into the house. "I knocked over a chair."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'll live," she said with a laugh as she came over and gave me a quick kiss that quickly turned hot and heavy as I pressed her up against the front door and began practically rubbing myself all over her.

"I missed you," I muttered into her hair as I began kissing her exposed neck. I felt her shudder beneath me as she let out a small hiss and I was about to move forward a bit when I thought I saw a car pull into her driveway, but it was just passing down the street.

"Are we gonna go?" she asked breathlessly as she grabbed her purse from the table and I lifted up the kitchen chair she had knocked over. I nodded my head and grabbed her hand in mine as I led her out of the house. We weren't even off of her street before I felt Bella's hand settle dangerously high on my thigh.

We pulled into the fairgrounds parking lot with a few minutes to spare and when we got out of the car, I noticed Bella didn't have a coat or sweater with her. "Are you trying to get sick?

"Excuse me?" she asked in shock as she stepped out of the car.

"I asked if you were trying to get sick," I said again as she continued to look both mortified and confused. "You didn't bring a coat or anything. As much as I like seeing you in that tight ass shirt, you're gonna get cold."

Bella shyly nodded her head and I grabbed a fairly clean hoodie that I had in the backseat and tossed it to her, smiling as I watched her breathe in my scent before putting it on. "Thanks," she muttered as I walked over to her and entwined her fingers with mine tightly.

"Come on. Alice will skin us if we're late."

"For not knowing her too long, you certainly know her well," laughed Bella as I led us towards the gate where our friends were already waiting. We said our quick hellos to our friends before making our way over to the entrance to pay our fees. There were a few barns to the left of the entry, one of which held a petting zoo that Jasper was desperate to visit, but Emmett refused, insisting we should get our dinner in us before the derby.

We all ended up eating various junk like French fries and hot dogs from some of the vendors and we watched some of our fellow classmates wandering around from the picnic table we had found. "Alice and I are going to play a few games," Jasper stated coolly as he took Alice's hand in his and stood up from the table. I looked at Bella, curious to know what she wanted to do and she simply leaned over and began to whisper in my ear.

"I need to be alone with you."

I jumped up from my seat at the table and looked right at Emmett. "Go save us some seats in the bleachers. We will be there in like forty five minutes, tops," I said happily as I took Bella's hand in mine and dragged her away from our friends. I felt a bit like a caveman but considering all the teasing we had done to each other in the past few days, her even mentioning any sort of alone time had me hard as a rock.

We ended up behind one of the barns, some trees blocking us from the view of all the other people at the fair. "What did you have in mind?" I asked as I pushed her up against the barn, my chest pressed firmly against hers.

"This," she said forcefully as she grabbed the back of my head and pulled me down into a desperate kiss. Our lips were meshed together as she slipped her tongue out slowly, teasing my bottom lip before I allowed her entrance. As I began to suck on her tongue, I heard her moan loudly and my resolve almost totally cracked. I pushed my hips against hers and let out a hiss as I felt her fingers push up under my shirt and run along my bare chest.

"You're a tease," I spit out quietly into her ear.

"I intend to follow through Edward, just not behind a barn at a fair," she said as she moved her other hand down and rub my denim covered cock. I let out another hiss and took one quick step back from her.

"We're not doing this here. I don't have a change of clothes." I was shocked when I saw Bella stalk towards me, her eyes dark with lust.

"Then just pull your cock out. I promise I won't make a mess," she muttered as my eyes grew wide, even more shocked than I was a minute ago. Just as she had walked towards me enough until I my back was up against a tree, we heard some moaning and both of us started giggling.

"Oh fuck yes… oh Mike," we heard a female voice say as Bella and I looked at each other and ran back to join our friends. When we finally got into the bleachers where Rosalie and Emmett were holding our seats, our faces were completely red and we were both out of breath. Even as we took our seats, Bella and I were still giggling.

"What has you two pissing yourself with laughter?" asked Emmett crudely as he took a sip of his soda and looked back out towards the paddock where cars were starting to get ready in the dirt. Alice and Jasper showed up a moment later, so Bella and I waited till they were seated before we spoke.

"So… we were hanging out and… "

"What does hanging out entail, because we are basically hanging out right now?" said Jasper with a snicker as I glared at him.

"We were making out and I was going to go down on him," said Bella a little too loudly as several seniors and townsfolk turned around to see us. "Hey Mrs. Dean," said Bella with a tentative wave as she gave a half-hearted smile to the librarian from the public library. She then buried her face in my shirt, completely mortified as we all broke out into laughter at her expense.

"Anyways… we were making out when we heard someone getting something done to them by Mike Newton.," I said, somewhat disgusted that we heard anything at all.

"Was it a girls' voice?" asked Alice, as we all started to roar with laughter, including Bella. "What? It's a logical question. Even though he is a football player, he wears too many sweater vests. If he's not gay, he's at least one of those metrosexuals."

Our laughter had almost died down when we saw Mike Newton climbing into the stands with Jessica Stanley on his arm. Bella and I looked at our friends and we all broke into fits of laughter again, as they passed us and went to sit at the back of the bleachers with Lauren, Tyler and a few other classmates.

Almost an hour later, the derby was coming to an end and I was a bit relieved. I had hardly watched the cars crashing into one another, unless Jasper elbowed me to watch. I had been staring at Bella almost non-stop and had been trying to find ways to get her alone, unfortunately I wasn't being very creative or successful. It didn't help the fact that she was sitting there wearing my hoodie. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer when I could no longer handle just holding hands.

"Are you okay?" she asked me quietly as she rested her head against my shoulder.

"Yeah," I said quietly. I didn't really feel the need to tell her that I was as hard as a rock and desperately wanted some sort of release. It had been a bit windy tonight, so every time a big gust of wind came, I was overwhelmed with her scent, which didn't help my situation either. "Are you guys ready to go play some games or get on some rides?" I asked our friends once the last car was a crashed and a winner declared. Everyone nodded their head and we followed the masses through the stands and back down onto solid ground.

We rode a few of the crappy rides first and then I spent way too much money trying to win Bella some stuffed dog she didn't even want. Of course, Emmett won Rosalie some huge Marvin the Martian without even trying, so I felt like a complete douche. I was extremely happy when we ended up leaving around eleven.

"We'll see you in the morning Bella. Bright and early," called out Rosalie as she tossed her monstrosity into the back of Em's truck. I looked at Bella and she wasn't even facing me. I was kinda hoping that I would get to spend time with her tomorrow, but it looked like that idea was gone out the window. I opened the passenger side door of the Volvo for Bella and she got in wordlessly. The drive back to her house was also quiet, with the two of us exchanging general chat about the fair.

When I pulled in front of the house, Bella unbuckled and turned in her seat to face me. I noticed all the lights were off in her house, with the exception of the outside porch light, so I figured the Chief was asleep already. "Can I come in?"

"That's probably not the best idea," said Bella quietly as I reached over and lifted her chin up, so that I could see her eyes. Something was wrong.

"Five minutes. I'll even crawl through the window so he doesn't know. I'm not asking for sex Bella, I want to talk to you." Bella reluctantly nodded her head and stepped from the car. I drove around the block and ran back, climbing haphazardly up the tree and into her now open bedroom window. Bella had hung my hoodie on the back of her door and I had to smile, because it looked like it belonged there.

She was sitting cross legged in the middle of her bed, all of her clothes still on, sadly. I climbed on and lay down; pulling her down beside me so we could simply cuddle. "Where are you going tomorrow?" I asked casually, hoping I wasn't coming across as a jealous boyfriend.

"My dad is taking me and the girls away for the night."

"Seriously?" I asked with a bit of a laugh. I couldn't imagine the Chief spending more than five minutes in the same room as those girls.

"Yeah, seriously. Let's just say it's one of those memorable moments I keep mentioning. Alice, Rosalie and I have wanted to do something for a long time and he encourages our madness, so he's coming with us," she said as she nuzzled her head against my chest and I began running my fingers through her hair.

"Is that all I'm getting?"

"Yep.

"No specifics?" I questioned.

"Nope."

"Well shit. Can I come?" I asked simply as Bella perched herself up on her elbow and looked at me with one eye brow raised. "I meant on this little trip. I want to be a part of the moments."

"You are in almost all of them Edward, trust me." Bella leaned forward and kissed my lips sweetly before backing away for a moment. "I just need to do this one with the girls. How about you and I do something memorable soon?" I kissed Bella's temple softly and reluctantly agreed. I was desperate to know what she was doing with the girls on the weekend, but I wasn't going to become some aggressive asshole and push her away from me. It certainly couldn't be anything bad with her dad going.

"I don't want to go home."

"Stay."

**A/N: Okay… now you should all go and read 'Seeing Their Future' by my girl kikikinz and leave a dozen reviews. If only that was possible.**


	13. My Halloween Surprises

**A/N: Let me just say, I have some of the best fricking readers ever. I am overwhelmed by the response this story is having and so thankful to everyone who reviewed or alerted this little disaster. I'm also thankful to everyone who has entered Esme's Erotic Ecstasy Contest. We have five submittals in the first week alone, 3 first time authors and 2 established. All the entries are amazing, so check out the link on my profile and go read them and review.**

**Big thanks to my fuckawesome beta MaggieMay14 and my girl's beegurl13, flightlessbird11 and kikikinz who helped me during the later portions of this chapter. Also thanks to the twitter girls who kept me writing with the help of their twitter porn to inspire me.**

**I don't own Twilight, but I do own a stuffed mystery machine that is providing me with inspiration for my Scooby doo meets Twilight crackfic. Yes, you read that right.**

**BPOV**

"This is absolutely ridiculous Bella," sighed Alice as the instructor snapped a few things closed and tightened the cord that was now wrapped around her waist. "How the fuck did I let you talk me into this?"

"Watch your cursing Alice," chastised Charlie quickly as I looked back at Alice who was standing nervously beside the edge of the bridge, looking down.

"I didn't talk you into it Alice. When I saw the video back in the sixth grade and I said I wanted to do it, you insisted on doing it too. I never twisted your arm or forced you, just like with everything else," I replied in frustration.

Every single time I mentioned something that I wanted to do, Alice or Rosalie were right at my side jumping in with both feet to do it with me, even if they didn't want to. More often than not, they were often found pushing me towards things, like the skinny dipping in Lake Olympia or dressing a bit slutty to get Edward's attention.

So here we were, in Amboy, Washington and Alice was about to bungee jump off the Pacific Northwest Bridge. We had driven down this morning with Charlie and Rosalie in my dad's truck and after we checked into the hotel, we came here immediately. After all, this was the reason why we were here in the first place.

"You don't have to do this you know," I said genuinely to Alice who began to shake her head. The instructor helped her over the edge of the bridge and she held on tight to the rail, her knuckles turning white and her face turning green. Rosalie was standing a few feet behind me, eagerly awaiting her own turn and my father was clutching my digital camera in his hands as he tried to take photos.

"You look like you are gonna puke Alice," shouted out Rosalie, who had no fear when it came to doing this. During the ride here she told us that when she explained to Emmett what we were doing, he was completely envious and wanted to bring her to do it again with him.

I looked at my dad and I could see his hands were already shaking as he watched Alice prepare. If he was shaking for her, he would no doubt have a coronary as I took my turn. It was funny how close we all were to my dad. We bickered like sisters during the entire ride to Amboy, with Charlie trying his best to mediate but not wanting to play favorites. We were all his girls, he loves us equally and I didn't mind in the least. Rosalie and Alice are the closest thing I have to sisters and I couldn't have asked for a better family.

"I'm doing this Bella. If you can do it, so can I."

"I haven't done it yet Alice. What if I'm a chicken shit and can't do it," I explained with a laugh as she turned her face over to me and groaned.

"Don't you dare fucking back out Isabella Swan. If you try, I'll just push you off the bridge, lord knows the water will break your fall," responded Alice angrily as I nodded my head. There was no way I was backing out of this now. I had wanted to do it for so long that when my father gave me the gift certificates for me and the girls to jump for my birthday, I literally squealed like a fan girl who had just seen Robert Pattinson or Zac Efron.

"Alice, really? Do you need to swear constantly?" asked my father, the disappointment obvious in his voice as I watched her shrug her shoulders.

"Sorry Charlie," Alice said remorsefully. "I can't help the potty mouth sometimes."

I watched intently as Steve, our instructor, gave Alice a few words of encouragement and advised her that she was ready to jump. She reached over and grabbed my hand tightly while staring at me with her sad doe eyes. "You jump, I jump right?" I nodded my head in acknowledgement and suddenly Alice let go of my hand and she was gone. I watched with envy as Alice was barreling towards the water below, screaming like a banshee the entire time.

"Holy fuck that was awesome," she yelled out loudly when she was simply bouncing a little bit at the bottom of the cord, awaiting her rescue. I looked over at my father and Rosalie. She was stepping from one foot to the other, totally excited to take her turn and Charlie was white as a ghost.

"Don't curse like she did," he advised as Steve started to attach the harness to me as another associate pulled the cord back up a few minutes later, Alice no longer attached.

"Who said I knew how to swear?" I joked to my father who narrowed his eyes and took a picture of me and Rosalie together before my jump. "Have I ever swore in front of you?"

"Well, not since you were three and you said the f word, repeating me," laughed Charlie as I joined in. I had heard the story my entire life of my one moment where I swore as a child. Charlie never chastised me for it then, he was too busy laughing at the fact that I had swore at all. It didn't surprise me that he left the part about my mother out of the story though. I kind of preferred it that way.

"So what are we going to do next on the list? Foreign language course? Join the Circus? Learn how to Salsa?" asked Rose as I looked at her and offered a small wink.

"I think someone else is going to help me with the next moment," I said quietly as I elbowed her and she smirked. She knew damn well my next moment was going to be with Edward but I wasn't sure what it would be.

"Are you guys going to have sex soon?" she whispered to me as I noticed Charlie was focused on taking pictures of the scenery and Alice, who was making her way back up to the bridge to join us.

"I don t know, but I hope so."

I turned from Rosalie as I heard my father calling Alice's name and she stopped as he took a picture. Suddenly, Steve the instructor was at my side and it was my turn to go.

"Are you sure you are ready for this? You look more nervous than your friend was," asked Steve kindly as I nodded my head and he guided me over towards the jump spot at the bridge. I was more certain of this than anything in my life. I was happily in a relationship with Edward and things were moving along smoothly and that was a big leap for me. This would be a monumental moment in my life and I couldn't wait to do it.

"I'm not scared," I replied as I stood there and he hitched everything into place in what seemed like record time. I'm sure he took several minutes to prepare everything, but I didn't notice. Time was moving so fast for me these days I was certain the jump would be over before I knew it. A lot of things would be over before I knew it. "I've been preparing myself for this for a while, so let's do it." I said, trying to sound enthusiastic and failing miserably.

"One question though… what's with all these things you girls are doing? You girls working on your karma like in 'My Name is Earl'?" he asked with a laugh as Alice jogged over to my side, her face completely red and graced with a smile a mile wide.

"Something like that," I said simply as Alice swooped me into a hug.

'"That was fucking awesome Bella. You are going to love it," she said as she released her grip on me and Steve reassured me that everything on my harness was tight and I was ready to go. I looked over at Charlie and he was getting a hug from Alice as she thanked him profusely for paying for it all. Steve helped me over the edge of the bridge and I stood there nervously.

"Everything is set Bella. Jump when you are ready," said Steve cheerfully as I nodded my head and looked down at the water below me before looking back up at my two best girlfriends and my father who showed me unwavering support. Even when my father found Edward and I making out on his couch he agreed, albeit reluctantly, to give him a chance. I knew that Edward had yet to let my dad down, although if he knew what we did before the football game earlier in the week, he would probably toss his ass in jail for the night.

"Has anyone ever died from jumping?" I asked coolly for a moment as Steve and Charlie both looked at me with wide eyes.

"Not through our company, but sure, stupid people have died before. I would think your friends' jump would have made you less nervous," he explained as I groaned slightly.

"I'm not nervous, just contemplating my options. I'll see you in a few," I said happily to three of the most important people in my life as I threw myself off the bridge with careless abandon.

The wind was rushing through my hair as I plummeted twenty stories towards the rushing water below. I started to scream loudly, just as Alice had a little while earlier and quickly found my throat was dry and scratchy, but not too uncomfortable.

I wished I could say my life flashed before my eyes and everything went black, but I saw everything in perfect color. The green of the trees surrounding us, the beautiful smirk on Edward's face, the dark black of the water below me covered in a few small white caps and the silver of the small raft coming to get me from where I was left dangling. I'm still here and it was awesome.

By the time I managed to get freed from the harness and back onto the bridge, Rosalie was just getting ready to take her own jump. "Was it as awesome as it looked?" she asked me as I nodded my head vigorously.

"It was even better than I imagined," I admitted to her as I ran over and gave my father a hug. "Thanks daddy."

"Anything for you pumpkin," he said as he put a kiss to my temple and I squeezed him harder, which reinforced the fact that I would always be his little girl.

As we drove home from Amboy on Sunday morning, we were all exhausted, but I was on pins and needles. I wanted desperately to tell Edward what we had done, so I whipped out my cell phone and texted him quickly.

_I'm on my way home. Should be there in an hour. What r u doing?_

"Ohh Bella's texting her boyfriend," laughed Alice as she sat beside me in the back seat. Rosalie was a million times better with directions than anyone else in the car, so we gave her shot gun so that she could play navigator for Charlie. I smacked her on the arm which resulted in her yelling loudly at me for abusing her.

"I'm not against locking you two up overnight in jail for annoying the hell out of me," said Charlie as Rosalie snickered beside him and flipped through my iPod, finally selecting some old school country tune that Charlie loved. Just as I was about to pinch Alice and really piss her off, my cell phone buzzed.

_I'm waiting for you to get home. Can we have a date tonight?_

"Can I go out with Edward tonight?" I asked my dad in my best puppy dog voice. I knew I still had a bunch of homework to be done, but at that moment I didn't really care, I just wanted to see him.

"Is your homework done? Didn't you have some big report due for English class?" Charlie asked as I suddenly cursed mentioning it last night during our dinner at TGIFriday's. Of course, I hadn't expected Edward to ask me out this afternoon, so I had mentioned how far behind I was and that I would have a few hours to put in tonight in order to get it done. Of course, Charlie took my silence as confirmation that I wasn't done and quickly put the kibosh on a date. "Yeah, I thought so. No date."

_Nope. No can do. Charlie won't let me out until I get my English paper done. Can you come over tonight, around 10?_

I didn't care if I only saw him for five minutes, but I desperately needed to see him.

_Leave your window open and get naked._

I laughed at his comment and I showed the phone to Alice who groaned and pretended to puke.

_Nice try. See you at 10._

I turned off the phone and joined back into the conversation, which was actually about Halloween which was coming up. "So, Daddy Swan, my parents are letting me have a Halloween party and they will be home to chaperone. I'm sure you won't mind if Bella stays the night right?" asked Rosalie sweetly as I looked up at her with wide eyes from my station behind my dad. This was the first I had heard of any Halloween party.

"As long as your parents are there like at her birthday party, I don't mind," said Charlie as I noticed Rosalie wink from the passenger seat, which meant her parents were clearly not going to be home. I always joked that her father was some shifty drug dealer or something because they were never home. I'm sure Emmett loved that fact with a passion.

"Thanks dad," I muttered as Alice starting bouncing in her seat beside me, her body ripe with excitement at the prospect of another party and potential costumes.

The moment we got home after dropping the girls off at their houses, I grabbed my bag and ran up the stairs, eager to get my homework done as quickly as possible. Within two hours I had finished my entire report and did some additional work for Spanish, just so my dad wouldn't bother me about it. We ate dinner in relative peace, enjoying some burgers my dad had delivered from the diner and I wasn't surprised when he went to bed just after nine. I took a quick shower, desperate to wash the day off of me and as ten neared I opened my window, the cold air a welcome feeling against my warm skin.

I sat on my bed, reading ahead in my book of short stories for English, since I knew I wouldn't be studying tomorrow afternoon, when I heard a rustling noise outside and Edward awkwardly climbed in the window. I practically launched myself off of the bed, pressing him against the far wall as I forced my lips onto his, kissing him desperately.

"I should go wake up Charlie and press charges against you for assaulting me," Edward joked quietly as I smacked him on the arm.

"I don't see you complaining," I said as he latched his lips onto my neck and pushed me back towards the bed, throwing his coat off in the process.

"I'm not complaining, especially since you look like this," he said as he motioned with his hand across my body at my pajamas, which was a black cotton cami and boy short set I had picked up while in Port Angeles in the summer.

"You like?" I said seductively as I moved back on the bed slightly and he climbed on in front of me, his one knee between my legs as he hovered over me.

"I love," he muttered slowly as he kissed my lips chastely. "So baby… where were you this weekend?"

I sat up slightly until my back was against my headboard and Edward lay beside me, his head in my lap. I moved my hand slowly against his scalp, massaging gently like I usually did when we were just sitting around doing nothing. "I went to Amboy."

"What the fuck is in Amboy," he said as I felt the laughter against my bare leg.

"The Pacific Northwest Bridge."

Edward sat up slightly, his head propped up on his hands as he looked at me in the eye. "Pacific Northwest Bridge. Isn't that where people go bungee jumping?" I nodded my head as I watched his eyes grow wide with concern.

"It was fun. I'm safe and everything is all good. Charlie, Rosalie and Alice were there the entire time. In fact, the girls jumped too. We almost convinced my dad, but he backed out at the last minute," I giggled as Edward repositioned himself till he was sitting up perfectly straight, the concern still on his face. "I didn't want to tell you earlier and have you worry the entire weekend. You would have worried and freaked out right?"

"Fucking right I would have," he stated angrily. "Why the hell would the Chief let you do it??"

"He paid for it Edward. He knew it was something I've wanted to do for a long time, so it was my birthday gift from him. I'll show you the photos tomorrow after school and you'll see it was all very harmless," I said as I leaned forward and kissed his lips gently.

"I wish you would have told me."

"What would you have done if I had told you?" I questioned as he grew silent, but then laid back down, his head on my lap again. I went back to massaging his head as I felt his hands rubbing up and down my bare thighs, which excited me to no end.

"I would have probably dragged Jasper and Emmett down there with me to convince you not to do it, although I see now that would have been fruitless," he stated as I felt his lips against my leg and I shivered involuntarily.

"Yeah."

"Are you alright?"

"Perfect. I am so fucking perfect," I said confidently as I laid my head back and continued to move my hands against his head as he emitted small moans. We sat in peaceful silence for what seemed like ages before I finally spoke. "Rosalie's having a Halloween party in two weeks. Will you come with me?"

I waited with baited breath for his response, hoping he would say yes but dreading a no. I had no idea if he had other plans with his parents or something and I didn't want to get too excited. "Do we have to wear matching costumes?"

"No."

"Okay, I'll go," said Edward as he sat up from my lap and I noticed him glance at the clock. "Speaking of going, I need to get home before Doc takes my car away for being late again," he said as he leaned in and kissed me gently. I ran my hands through his hair, pulling him closer to me as my tongue darted into his mouth eagerly and he moaned his sexy sweet moan again. My willpower was crumbling quickly.

Edward gave me one last chaste kiss before grabbing his jacket from the floor and heading towards the window. "I'll see you at school."

"Do you want to pick me up?" I asked quietly. I knew it would probably piss off the girls, but I didn't care. He could swing by and get me after we were ready for school. He already had one foot out the window, but he suddenly jumped back into the room and pressed me against the bed, his weight holding me down as he kissed me fiercely.

"I would love to pick you up." With that, he ran back towards the window and I watched as he climbed down the tree and ran to his car. I picked up my shitty old cell phone and texted the girls, ready to face their wrath.

**EPOV**

"What are you going as man?" I asked Jasper the morning of Rosalie's Halloween party. Bella said we didn't have to dress the same, so I had no idea what she would be wearing because she wouldn't tell me. Sadly, I kind of wanted to dress like her so people knew we were together, not that there were many people in town that didn't already know.

"Ricky Bobby, after the car crash. So I just need underwear and a helmet," he said confidently as I cocked an eye brow at him. "I already have most of my lines mastered and if someone asks me something I don't want to answer I'm just gonna say 'Is that a catchphrase or epilepsy'?" I laughed at him for a moment before I realized he was completely serious.

"What is Em going as?"

"I have no idea, but I believe him and Rosalie will have a matching costume, which makes me laugh. Alice won't let me know what she is coming as, just that I will find it hot, so I'm happy as fuck really," he said as we walked into the cafeteria and noticed Bella was nowhere to be found. I hopped into line and got us the last two pieces of pizza and two sodas before going to our regular table. Alice and Rosalie fell mysteriously quiet, which immediately piqued my interest.

"Where's Bella?"

"She's probably just running late from class. You know how Mr. Tanner is with her, always wanting something more," said Alice as she then took a big bite from her apple, as though she was trying to silence herself from saying more.

I ignored her as best as I could and kept an eye on the door, waiting for her to come in. Ever since the Sunday night in her room two weeks ago, things had been at a bit of a standstill, but I didn't mind. There was now a new morning ritual in place where I picked her up from home and took her to school with me and on the days we didn't have practice or games, I also drove her home.

I felt my entire body calm the moment I saw her walk through the doors of the cafeteria and she wandered over to our table. She sat beside me and I pushed our tray over to her so that we could eat our lunch together. She gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek before wordlessly biting into her slice of pizza with a moan. Apparently she was hungry. Unfortunately for me, I was now hard.

I watched her intently as she devoured her lunch and I didn't even look at mine. Her lips looked so soft as she then took a sip of the Dr. Pepper I had gotten for her. "Do I get to take you home after school?" I whispered to her as my tongue gently licked her ear lobe and I noticed she shivered.

"I'm going straight to Rosalie's to get dressed. I'm staying at her place overnight remember?"

Shit, I did know that. It was the reason she showed up with a duffle bag when she got into my car this morning. We had tossed it into Rosalie's pick up when we had gotten to school so I had almost forgotten all about it until now. "Oh yeah," I said sounding somewhat disappointed.

"You'll be at the party tonight though right?" she asked sweetly as I felt her hand on my thigh, moving slowly upwards. I let out a small squeak as I felt her hand against my cock and I noticed she was grinning from ear to ear. "I can't wait for you to see my costume."

"I'll be there. In fact, I will be the first person there since I'm excited to see what you are going to wear," I said confidently. Suddenly, the entire conversation turned into one about Rosalie's party and my flirting with Bella fell by the wayside. By the time health class rolled around I was ready to kill someone. I had talked with Bella for a total of five minutes during lunch and now we were forced to sit here and watch a damned video about cancer. It was torturous.

When we walked out of class, Bella looked white as a ghost but insisted that she was fine as she ran over to Rosalie's truck and claimed she was just anxious about her costume. I kissed her gently before she got into the truck and watched as she drove away, my hands threading through my hair nervously as I finally decided to make a run to Port Angeles in the hopes of finding some sort of costume. Nothing like leaving it to the last minute, I thought to myself as I drove silently towards the city. I managed my way through two costumes stores before I found something suitable, quickly buying it and hoping like heck that it wasn't too cold tonight.

When I pulled into the driveway at Rosalie's house, I was pissed that the party was already in full swing. Emmett was bringing our booze, courtesy of his big brother who was home from college, so I grabbed my big yellow coat and hat and walked into the house, my eyes looking all over the room for Bella and failing miserably.

"You look fucking hot Edward," said Jessica as I walked in, her finger hanging from her mouth as she began eye fucking me in my firefighter uniform. "The lack of shirt really makes the costume." I ignored her blatant flirting and walked into the kitchen where I found Jasper and Alice downing a shot of something blue.

"What's going on?" I asked casually, still looking for Bella. I eyed up Alice who was dressed like a sluttier version of Alice in Wonderland and wasn't shocked that Jasper had done as he had claimed and came dressed like Rickey Bobby from Talladega Nights, just wearing some tighty whities as he held a helmet under his arm.

"I sent in my application to The Real World, so I'm hoping to hear back from that. I'm putting a lot of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. And if that doesn't work out I'm thinking about getting a gun and dealin' crack. Being a crack dealer. Not, like, a mean crack dealer, but like... like a nice one. Kinda friendly, like, 'Hey, what's up guys? You want some crack?' I'm just kinda waiting on those two things to flesh themselves out," he said with straight face as Alice elbowed him lightly and laughed cheerfully. She had clearly been drinking for a while.

"Uh… have you guys seen Bella?" I asked as I ignored Jasper's Tourette's like outburst and noticed Alice was pointing to the back of the house.

"She went to the cooler on the back porch to get some sodas I think," added Alice as I nodded my head in thanks and practically ran to the back where I found her chatting to Jacob of all people. I watched from inside as they talked amiably and checked out her outfit. Bella was dressed like Little Red Riding Hood and she looked so fucking sinful. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she had on a short red checked skirt, a tight white top that showed off her shoulders and a red cape. She even carried a small picnic basket that I hoped was filled with condoms so I could fuck the hell out of her.

"Hey baby," I said coolly as I walked outside, my hat under my arm and my thick yellow coat draped over my shoulder. I noticed Bella gasp slightly as she noticed my chest and when I looked over at Jacob, he was rolling his eyes. "Happy Halloween Jake. I wasn't expecting to see you here." I hoped I sounded polite even though my voice was laced with venom and I wanted him to get the fuck away from my girl.

"Yeah well, Rosalie invited me over. I just didn't get the message about the costume," he said coldly as he motioned to his jeans and sweatshirt.

"It's easy to forget Halloween is the 31st of October right?" Bella smacked me on the chest and I noticed she had two drinks in her hand. "Can I talk to you inside?" I whispered to her, my lips firm against her ear. I felt her nod and as I entwined my fingers in hers, pulling her into the house, she said a quick goodbye to Jacob and my night was salvaged.

I watched as Bella put the Dr. Pepper's on the counter and poured them both into oversized beer steins and then topped them off with some Jack Daniels. "Drink of the gods," she said to me with a grin as she passed one my way and I greedily took a sip, enjoying every drop of it as it went smoothly down my throat.

"I didn't know you drank," I admitted ruefully as Bella nodded her head.

"I'm a social drinker. I have one or two, that's it. I nurse them most of the night and have never actually gotten drunk," she said as I looked at her with surprise.

"We'll have to take care of that one weekend," I said as my hand moved along the back of her neck, massaging it gently as she bent her head into my hand, as a small moan escaped her gentle lips.

Emmett and Rosalie strolled casually into the kitchen a moment later, effectively ruining our moment, and I looked them up and down with a grin. Rosalie was clearly dressed as Daisy Duke in her cut off denim shorts and short gingham check shirt that was tied in a small bow beneath her tits. Emmett looked as proud as could be with his hand wrapped firmly around her waist and I laughed at his outfit. "Are you supposed to be Cooter to her Daisy Duke?" I asked with grin.

Emmett was wearing a pair of overalls and no shirt, with a dirty old hat on his head. He looked like the quintessential redneck and I was actually kind of impressed as he nodded his head in confirmation. "What is it with all of our guys going shirtless?" asked Rosalie as Bella burst into laughter.

"Perhaps this is a sign that you ladies should take off your tops too," said Emmett as he crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked at our girls expectantly.

"Sorry to burst your bubble," I said to Emmett as I cozied up next to Bella and draped my free arm over her shoulder. "But if anyone is seeing my girl topless, it won't fucking be you."

"Who's going topless?" asked Jasper as he strolled into the room with Alice beside her, both of them looking a bit odd.

"Dude, your fucking underwear is on backwards," said Emmett as he broke out into raucous laughter, the rest of us following suit.

"Shit," said Jasper with a grin as Alice began blushing and then Jasper suddenly began whipping his underwear down in the middle of the kitchen, flashing everyone his junk as he readjusted himself. "There, all good."

"Jesus Christ, no one needs to see that shit," I said loudly as I covered Bella's eyes and she moved her hand up to move my fingers so that she could still see his dick. I felt a little taken aback by that and then had a slight epiphany. "You do realize if you want to see a cock, you can see mine anytime," I whispered to her quietly as she suddenly looked at me with her eyes wide.

Bella's free hand wrapped around mine and suddenly she was dragging me out of the room and up the main stairs of Rosalie's house. We stepped inside a bedroom which I had never seen before and Bella was instantly pulling her cape off and tossing it aimlessly in the room. "You were late," she huffed as she stalked towards me until my knees hit the back of the bed and I ended up sitting down on it as Bella straddled me.

"Jesus Bella, relax," I said coolly as I placed our drinks down on the nightstand beside the bed and I held her in place on my lap, my hands gripping her waist. "Did I tell you how fucking gorgeous you look tonight?"

"No," she said quietly as I felt her soft fingers move down my chest and I shivered at her touch. Fuck, I was now hard as a rock.

"Well you are so gorgeous, the things that are currently running through my mind are so fucking dirty," I said as I used one hand to move her hair off of her shoulder and I leaned forward, my lips latching on to her neck and sucking eagerly at her tender skin

"Tell me," she whispered slowly, her mouth right beside my ear. "Tell me what you want to do to me, or better yet… show me."

_Fuck. Me._

Bella never gave me a chance to respond as she suddenly yanked her shirt off and was left before me topless and it was the most glorious sight I had ever seen. "Wait a second," I said as I lifted her from my lap and stalked towards the bedroom door to make sure it was locked. When I turned back around, she was on her knees, motioning to me with her finger to join her. My stomach started doing flip flops at the prospect of what was to come but I never imagined in a million years what would happen.

The moment my legs hit the edge of the bed, Bella grabbed my suspenders with one hand and tugged them off as she pulled my yellow firefighter pants down, leaving them to pool around my knees thanks to my oversized boots that I was wearing. "Bella," I began to say when I suddenly felt her hand wrapped around my length and I let out a low guttural groan. This was ten millions times better than I ever expected. "Oh fuck."

My head fell back involuntarily and I missed the sight of Bella taking me into her mouth, which made me want to come the moment it happened. Her mouth was hot and oh so tempting. My mind began to race as I wondered how the hell she had learned to give such an excellent blow job, when she claimed to have never done it before. Surely she had talked to Rosalie about this right? Please god, let her have learned from her friends.

"Jesus Christ," I muttered as I felt her teeth scrap the underside of my shaft gently and she began to alternate between slow and fast motions on me. When she began to hum quietly, what sounded like the star spangled banner, was when I started to growl, the reverberations feeling so fucking good around me. Without even thinking, I suddenly wrapped my hand in her ponytail and as she propped herself up on her elbows, her skirt covered ass practically teasing me as she sucked on me and I found myself thrusting into her, literally fucking her mouth. When I pulled out on my next move, Bella's fingers gripped my cock gently and she began moving her tongue around the tip, ever so gently.

"Holy Lord Bella, you're so fucking good," I growled out through clenched teeth as I fought back the urge to come, especially right then since it would end up on her face. There was no way that shit would go over well on our first fucking try at this together. So when she opened up her mouth and swallowed me whole again, my cock hitting the back of her throat as she gagged slightly, I was officially done for.

"Shit, I'm coming, move," I said as I tugged on her hair a bit and she held in place, her lips like a vise grip around my length as I couldn't hold back any longer and suddenly released into her mouth in several short spurts. I took a moment to regain my breath as I noticed Bella swallow everything down and then sit back on her knees, a look of pride on her face.

"I don't know what all the commotion is about, that wasn't so bad," she uttered with a grin as I was suddenly overcome with lust and practically jumped her. I pushed her down onto the bed and yanked off my boots and pants, pulling my shorts back up and hovered over her. I began kissing her everywhere that I could, starting at her lips and moving my way down to her beautiful breasts that called out to me. "Oh god," she said as my tongue began working circles around her nipple as my hand massaged the other breast.

"Tell me this is okay," I said sincerely as I pulled back, suddenly feeling a bit ill at ease for the way I had behaved.

"It's more than okay," she said as her hand cupped my cheek and she tried to reassure me. "I want you."

I nodded my head and noticed that Bella's skirt was already bunched up slightly around her thighs. I returned to lavishing attention on her tits, I began to move it up further, noticing the black lace panties I had seen in her room a few weeks ago. "Oh fuck… black lace."

"Do you like?" she asked breathlessly as I noticed she spread her legs open further so I could get a better look.

"Fuck yes," I forced out as I sat back on my knees and enjoyed the view before me. I could see her panties were already damp and suddenly my cock was at attention again. "I would like them better off of you and on the floor though."

I looked Bella in the eye and noticed she was biting her lip, which was the exact moment of my complete undoing. I leaned forward, my hands on either side of her head as I held my weight above her half naked body and began kissing her lips gently, tugging her bottom lip into my mouth as I used one hand to move down her body and find the promise land between her legs. I didn't move her panties, but slipped one finger between the lace and her wetness moving ever so slowly along her slit.

"Please," Bella choked out quietly as my lips trailed slowly down her chin to her neck, my finger still dancing lightly outside of her dripping wet center.

"You are so polite, but why don't you say what you really want?" I asked with a groan, hoping to god that she would say something beyond dirty to me. I wanted to hear something filthy fall from her sweet mouth because it would be such a huge contrast from the girl I was dating, and that would be hot as hell.

"Take them off," she said in a quiet whisper. I leaned back on my knees again and latched my fingers into the top of her panties, her scent filling my senses and making it really hard for me to focus on the task at hand. Without any sort of instruction from me, Bella lifted her ass off the bed and I slipped them ever so slowly down her thighs, enjoying every single second of it and knowing full well it would be engrained in my mind forever. I would jerk off to thoughts of this forever.

My thoughts suddenly became completely incoherent and all I could think about was her and what I wanted to do to her. My finger slipped between her lips and I let out a very loud growl that anyone outside in the hallway would no doubt hear. "You are so fucking wet."

"You do this to me," she said shyly. "All the god damn time."

My cock twitched as I kissed her on the mouth and then started to kiss my way down her chest and stomach before coming to a stop at the top of her skirt. I didn't remove it but simply pushed it up a bit more and I stopped as I took in the utter sexiness that was my girl. I couldn't hold back any longer and I bent my head forward and used my forearms to spread her open further to me. I could hear Bella's breathing pick up, no doubt in anticipation and the moment my tongue was flat against her and I licked teasingly up the length of her pussy, I heard her hiss loudly.

I was suddenly overwhelmed and her sexy sounds spurred me on, as my only goal was to make her feel as good as she had to me. I nibbled gently at her clit as I ran my fingers along her slit before gently easing one finger inside of her. _She was so fucking tight_, I thought to myself, suddenly eager for my cock to be buried inside of her. God, I would probably spontaneously combust the moment my dick got anywhere near her bare pussy.

"Oh fuck yes Edward," yelled out Bella as I began to slide one finger in and out of her, adding a second and causing her to arch her back slightly. As I watched her face as I pleasured her, I came to the realization that there was nothing sexier or more fucking hot than Bella's face as she was in the throes of passion. It was beautiful and so expressive. "More."

I continued to thrust my fingers in and out of her and I latched my lips back onto her clit, sucking it furiously into my mouth as I nibbled and teased it with my tongue. Within moments, Bella was gripping the sheets on the bed tightly, her knuckles turning white based on the sheer force she was using. "Watch me," I forced out as I noticed Bella prop herself up on her elbows and continue to bite her lip as she stared me while I finger fucked her into oblivion. When I saw her head fall back, I groaned in displeasure. "Watch me," I instructed her again, this time louder and more forceful.

Bella's eyes practically bore into mine as I curled my fingers up gently and began rubbing her g-spot, my thumb now moving against her clit with a great deal of pressure. I noticed Bella was now grinding her teeth and was having a hard time keeping her eyes open for me, she clearly wanted to watch but her orgasm was nearing. I pulled my fingers out and pushed my face back between her legs, thrusting my tongue deep inside of her and she finally let go, her moans echoing around the room as she came furiously around my tongue, her juices tasting heavenly as I ran my tongue around her pussy and cleaned them all up.

"Holy fuck," I heard Bella say as I felt her body hit the mattress beneath us. "Jesus… that was so fucking…"

"Are you going to finish that sentence?" I asked as I moved on the bed until I was right beside her. I wrapped my arm around her chest, effectively covering her tits from my view as I kissed her lips, her tongue tasting herself on me.

"No. There are no words to describe that." I buried my face in Bella's neck, breathing her scent as we both came down from our high. "Why weren't we doing that sooner?"

I was about to answer her when I was woken from my post orgasm reverie from someone trying to jiggle the door knob. I mouthed to Bella that the door was locked and I saw the panic fall from her face as she kissed me sweetly. "I think we should get back down to the party." As much as it pained me to hear her say those words, I knew she was right.

I grabbed her panties, shirt and cape from the floor and watched sadly as she got redressed. I then pulled on my boots and pants, tossing my suspenders back onto my shoulders. "I forgot to tell you how fucking hot you looked," she muttered to me as she left a small kiss in the center of my chest.

"Let's go before Jasper sends out a search team or I take you against the wall," I said with a laugh as Bella's eyes grew wide, thinking I was serious. "Patience my sexy girl," I said as I swatted her ass playfully as she let out a little yelp and a jump as we walked towards the door.

As we headed down the hallway towards the back stairs that led into the kitchen, Bella and I heard some odd noises coming from one of the bedrooms. Bella slowly cracked the door open against my better judgment and I shivered in fear as I saw Jessica, Mike and Eric going at it like rabbits, Jessica between the two of them as Mike drilled her from behind and Eric filled her mouth. It was positively frightening.

Bella looked like she was about to puke as she quietly pulled the door shut, not wanting to get caught. As we ran down the stairs, we then high tailed it into the backyard where we both broke out into loud laughter. "Jesus Christ," Bella said as I wrapped my arm around her waist and held her to me since it was so cold out.

"At least I knew not to do it in Rosalie's bedroom," she said as the tears from her laughter began to pour down her beautiful face. "She is going to shit a fucking brick when she finds out that there is a threesome happening in her bedroom. Those are new fucking sheets too."

"You know what would be funny?" I asked as Bella's eyes lit up. "If we went to tell her."

**A/N: Fic rec time:**

**First of all, go check out all the entries to the Esme contest, cause they are all wonderful. Then when you are done that go read Fighting For Love by LexyW, one of my twitter gals. She's only a few chapters in, but it is very promising. Oh and then go read Home Run by jadedandboring and 3,2,1 by HeatherDawn. **

**That's all for this time around. Thanks for reading. I promise never to pull a story before I'm finished writing. You know who I'm talking about, Willis!**


	14. My Embarrasing Moment

**A/N: First things first, big thanks to my fuckawesome beta who got this back to me in record time today, so that I could post it for all your lovely ladies *cough whores cough* this evening. **

**I read and love each and every review I get, even if I can't always reply to them all. Just know that I love my readers like crazy. You guys are the bomb! LOL. I sound so old there.**

**Anywhoo, don't forget to check out Esme's Erotic Ecstasy Contest, we have a lot of wonderful entries so far. My bud ARenee363, the author of the fucking great Inked and its upcoming sequel, is hosting a Halloween event, so mosey on over to my profile for the link and enter.**

**I don't own Twilight, but I do have one loyal reader who never reviews, yet chats like crazy with two of her friends about my fics. I know who you are Verity. I will find you and turn you into a reviewer like I did with Risbee!**

**BPOV**

To say Monday at school was interesting would be an understatement. At the party on Friday, after we caught the threesome that was going on in Rosalie's room, Edward and I found her to break the news. I was a little nervous and hesitant, but I knew if that was going on in my bedroom, on my new sheets no less, I would be livid. To say she was disgusted was an understatement.

"_I don't know why you are getting so bent out of shape considering some of the things we have done in that room," said Emmett coolly as Rosalie downed the almost full drink that was in her hand and stomped up the back stairs to her room._

_Thankfully for her and the rest of us, Newton, Jessica and Eric had finished their little 'gathering' and were in the process of getting redressed when Rosalie entered the room, slamming the door behind her, and leaving us all the hallway. We listened as closely as possible to the yelling that ensued and were richly rewarded with words like 'skank', 'whore' and my all time favorite 'slagathor.' When the door finally opened, we all pretended like we weren't listening at the door even though it was obvious._

"_Why the hell would Eric get involved with those too?" asked Emmett in a quiet whisper as Alice mocked throwing up into a potted plant beside the door._

"_Can you imagine the diseases floating around that room right now?" added Jasper as I shivered at the thought. "I mean, Jess is the town bike and all, but Mike hasn't exactly been known to keep it in his pants either."_

"_Can I just say, as someone who actually saw them going at it, I seriously need my retinas burned and my short term memory erased," quipped Edward as I nudged him and gave a small smile. "Well, not all of my short term memory, obviously."_

_A few minutes later, Jessica walked out looking rather dejected but Mike and Eric looking surprisingly… proud. "Don't give me another reason to make your life a living hell Jess," called out Rosalie as all three of them went down the stairs. There was a small commotion as Jessica, Mike and Eric left, but otherwise, the party was back in full swing .All the other guests were left completely in the dark to the situation that had just happened upstairs._

"_So, what happened?" asked Alice curiously as she practically bounced happily beside me._

"_Well, I put the fear of god into them for starters. I also promised I wouldn't say anything on Monday at school, but I lied," she chuckled as Emmett gave her a high five. I was certain that Rosalie was already planning some kind of payback._

"_Do you have some sort of revenge planned?" asked Jasper as he wrapped his arm around Alice's waist and held her to his side. I had to admit, they were officially the cutest couple ever. Besides Edward and myself obviously._

This brought us to Monday morning in school. Rosalie disappeared early from my house after getting ready like usual. Alice rode with me and Edward to school and when we walked in the building we were a little shocked. Everywhere we went, there were flyers up featuring a photoshopped picture of Jessica, Mike and Eric having sex. She didn't even do a good job on the editing, but no one cared. They were stuffed in lockers, taped to walls and almost every student was holding one as they laughed noisily. I found it a bit mean, but I was thankful that I wasn't in their position. Edward, Alice and I tried our best to ignore it all but when Jessica came over to us and began to accuse me of doing this, I had enough.

"You have got to be kidding me. Why the hell would I do that to you?" I shouted angrily as I noticed the Principal walk out of his office and begin surveying the damage.

"Cause you are pissed I flirted with Edward at the party," she yelled as I withheld the urge to slap her in front of everyone.

"I didn't even know you flirted with him, but I damned well know he wouldn't flirt back. Perhaps someone else knows what a whore you really are," I said as she crumpled up the piece of paper in her hand and I groaned in frustration. "There were a lot of people in that house. In fact, there were three participating in the act, so why don't you ask one of your many lovers."

Suddenly Rosalie came out from around the corner looking very smug. "Don't worry Bella, Jessica won't do anything to you, will you Jess?"

"You said you wouldn't say anything Rosalie. Why the hell would you lie?" asked Jessica as she realized who had actually done the damage. As tears starting to form in her eyes, I would have felt bad for her, if she hadn't admitted to flirting with my boyfriend moments ago.

Rosalie just scoffed as Emmett came up beside her and whispered in her ear, warning her about the Principal. "Why the hell would you fuck those two slimeballs in my bedroom?" said Rosalie quietly as she leaned closer to Jessica. "Now you're fucked… all over again."

As the Principal got closer, we all headed to our class and Jessica ran from the building, peeling down the papers from the wall as she went. I found out at lunch time that Emmett and Rosalie had entered the school early that morning and put all the posters up. It was pretty fucking vindictive in my opinion, but at the time, I couldn't find it in me to care.

Edward and I got back to my house in record time after school and I practically dragged him up to my bedroom, pulling my own clothes off on the way up. "Why the rush?"

"I want a repeat of Friday night and well… I don't want it to be quick, so the sooner we get down to business, the happier I will be," I said as I pushed him onto my bed and then locked my door. Edward pulled his hoodie off and I virtually assaulted him with my lips as I straddled his lap. Our hands and lips were everywhere as we yanked our clothes off and made out like crazy on my bed, his hard cock pressed firmly against my inner thigh.

When I was clad in just my underwear, I felt Edward's hand slip between the cotton fabric and my skin, his fingers moving down till he reached my aching center. "Oh Christ," I muttered through clenched teeth as he circled one finger around my clit teasingly.

"You wanted a repeat right?" I nodded in response and Edward quickly thrust two fingers inside of me, leaving me breathless. He continued to fuck me with his fingers for a few minutes and with his free hand, he pulled my panties down, achingly slow. Once I was finally naked, he dropped his head between my legs and began to kiss my thighs sweetly before he plunged his tongue in where his fingers once were.

"Oh fuck," I growled as I grabbed his hair tightly in my hands and he worked diligently to get me off, my screams filling the small room when I finally reached my ecstasy. "Come with me," I said as I grabbed Edward's hand in mine and dragged him towards the bathroom. He looked downright disappointed when I turned on the shower, no doubt assuming he wasn't going to get the same treatment I just did. The moment we stepped under the hot water, I dropped to my knees and took him in my mouth.

"Jesus Bella, you should warn a guy," he shrieked out as I noticed his hand grabbing the small towel bar and he tried to compose himself. Within moments, he had his other hand threaded through my hair as he moved his hips against me, practically fucking my mouth. I moaned around his hard shaft and listened as he groaned a few times and hit his hand forcefully against the tile wall. "You are so fucking perfect."

After only a few minutes of my tongue and mouth around him, Edward let go and I swallowed him greedily. Once I finally finished cleaning him up, Edward pulled me into a standing position and kissed me gently, our tongues wrapping around each other fiercely.

"Can I wash your hair?" he asked when he finally pulled away. I let out a small chuckle as we suddenly went from being extremely horny to very sweet with each other.

"I guess so," I replied as I turned so my back was to his chest and Edward began to squirt some shampoo onto his hands and then work it into a lather on my head. It was so damned erotic, it was no wonder Edward loved when I massaged his head.

"So, there's something I want to talk to you about," Edward said cautiously as he finished rinsing the shampoo out of my hair and set to work with the conditioner. "My parents are going away next weekend."

"Good for them. Where are they going?" I asked curiously. I had become pretty close to Edward's parents in the month and a half that we had been dating. We didn't spend nearly as much time with them as I had hoped, because Edward was usually desperate for us to be alone, but I wasn't complaining. I loved alone time with Edward.

"Seattle for some big charity dinner for the new cancer wing at the Port Angeles Hospital. They are staying in town on Friday and Saturday night," he said slowly, as though he was trying to emphasize something.

"I'm sure they will have a wonderful time. I bet your mom looks really good dressed up," I said casually as Edward turned me to face him and he began to rinse the conditioner from my hair as well. "Is there something else you wanted to say?"

Edward looked at me nervously as he bit down on his bottom lip. "I want you come over."

"Sure, we can watch a movie or something, maybe order in some pizza and then you can bring me home," I said simply. I knew there was no way Charlie would have an issue with Edward and I having a date at his house. It's not like he had to know that Carlisle and Esme were out of town. However, knowing Charlie, he probably knew that anyways.

"No." Edward turned the water off and reached for a towel, which he quickly wrapped around my body. "I want you to stay over. I want you to spend the night with me."

"Oh."

Edward raised his eye brows and looked down at me, his eyes full of lust and desire. "Oohhh. You want me to spend the night. Like you want us to do stuff?"

"Yes Bella," he said as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into him. Edwards' lips descended to my ear and I felt his hot breath against me. "I want to worship you, love you… fuck you." I let out a low gasp as Edward then kissed the corner of my mouth, before wrapping a towel loosely around his waist. He then bent over and grabbed his clothes as he headed back into my bedroom, leaving me with my mouth open wide in the bathroom, in shock.

By the time my father got home just after six, Edward and I were casually sitting in the living room working on a health project about communicable diseases. Edward was behaving normally, whereas I was still surprised by his words from almost two hours ago in the bathroom. Ever since he had mentioned it, I was struggling to find a way to get Charlie to allow me to sleep over at his place. There was no way in hell he would let me do it, even though I was eighteen years old now. As Charlie and Edward sat discussing the fact that the Mariners missed the playoffs again, I texted Alice.

_I need an alibi for next weekend. I can handle one night, but would prefer two – B_

As expected, Alice texted back very quickly. If her lips weren't attached to Jasper's face, then her hands were attached to her cell phone.

_What's going on? –A_

_Edward will be home alone and asked me to join him –B_

_Holy shit, are you guys gonna have sex? –A_

I giggled loudly as I imagined the look of shock on Alice's face, which caught the attention of my two favorite men. "I'm just texting Alice," I said coolly as they nodded their heads in acknowledgement and went back to their conversation.

_Depends on if you have some good cover for me, so I can be away for two nights. –B_

_We can claim to have a sleepover at my place. My parents are leaving for Mexico Friday for a week –A_

_Perfect. Thanks. –B_

_Buy some condoms –A_

I groaned at her remark and flipped my phone closed, shoving it back into my pocket. Now that I had that straightened out, I headed into the kitchen and began to grab the burgers from the fridge that I had made earlier. Charlie started up the barbecue and we had a quick dinner of homemade hamburgers and French fries, which seemed to please everyone.

As Edward and I worked on the dishes, I decided to mention the topic to Charlie, so that Edward could be genuinely surprised as well.

"Hey Dad," I started to say as I handed Edward a plate and he began to dry it with the towel he clutched. "Alice's parents are heading to Mexico next weekend and she invited me to stay over with her on Friday and Saturday night. Is that cool with you?"

"Both nights Bella? When will you get your homework done?" Charlie asked, sounding very concerned about my academic status, even though he knew damn well that I was a straight A student.

"Well, I didn't want Alice to be home alone. I'm sure I can work on my homework during the day since we were just planning to hang out and do nothing," I said simply as Charlie grabbed a beer from the fridge and Edward nudged me before he looked at me with a grin.

"Why don't you invite her here?"

"Who will take care of her cat?" I inquired, knowing damn well Charlie was allergic to cats and hated them with a passion. "Whiskers just can't feed himself you know. He doesn't have the opposable thumbs needed to open his own food." Edward laughed beside me at my smart ass comment, but thankfully Charlie seemed to soften.

"Okay, fine Bells. You can stay with her for the weekend," Charlie declared with a slight groan. "The only rules I have are that you check in with me on Saturday afternoon and have all your homework done before you walk back in this door on Sunday."

Edward smacked my ass quite hard the moment my father left the room and I let out a little yelp. "You are sneaky."

"Thank Alice for the alibi, Mr. Cullen," I said as he kissed me on the temple and we finished washing the dishes. All of a sudden, my stomach was doing flips and I was nervous as hell. I was going to sleep with Edward, not just sleep… but sex. We were going to have sex. _Holy shit!_

**EPOV**

The moment my mother told me about the charity dinner down in Seattle, I almost jumped out of my skin. I would have the house to myself for the weekend, and she was chastising me about having a party. The last thing in the world that was on my mind was having a party. There was one thing I wanted, and that was Bella in my bed… all night.

"Edward, we know what happens in a small town like Forks when the parents disappear for a few days," commented my mother as I rolled my eyes. "No parties."

"Mom, I think I am mature enough not to have a party. Anyways, I don't want to clean it up and lord knows Bella won't help me if I do," I said with a small laugh.

"Oh and if Bella comes over, make sure the Chief knows please. I don't want to come home to find you with a gunshot wound in your leg because you didn't let him know," she added. She clearly knew the Chief just as well as I did, and I didn't underestimate what he would do if I ever disrespected Bella.

"No worries Mom, really," I said as I tried to reassure her. I listened for the rest of our Sunday night dinner as she set down a few other rules for their time away. I pretended to listen to her, but all I could think of was how to get Bella to spend the weekend with me.

I shocked her slightly when I mentioned the prospect to Bella after our shower, but she surprised me just as much when she asked Charlie after dinner about staying at Alice's for the weekend. To discover that she had already come up with an alibi within a few hours of me asking her, made me excited because I immediately thought that maybe she was just as eager as me to have sex. Sure, we only reached third base on Friday night, but we already had a repeat performance today and I felt like I was going to fricking burst if I didn't get inside of her.

The rest of the week Bella and I only managed a few sporadic times together. I had football practice on Tuesday and then a game on Thursday, but Wednesday afternoon when I should have been spending time with her, I drove up to Port Angeles with Jasper, to buy condoms instead.

"Why the hell can't you just buy condoms in town?" asked Jasper as he turned on the classic rock station and began playing air guitar to 'Simple Man' by Lynyrd Skynyrd.

"Because it's embarrassing as fuck and everyone in that town knows my dad and the Chief. They also all know that I am dating Bella because my mother tells every single patient that walks into the office," I admitted with a groan. I wasn't overly pleased that I had to drive almost an hour away for a quick purchase and then turn right around, but it would be worth it.

"Okay, well when you put it that way, I guess it could be embarrassing," said Jasper as he smacked me on the shoulder lightly. We then went into a long conversation about how Alice's parents were leaving on Friday to go to Mexico and how he was planning to take full advantage of them being away. "We're going to play house for the week. I'm sleeping over; she's making me dinner and offering up blow jobs, it will be perfect."

"Is that really what will be happening?"I asked with a laugh as Jasper shook his head in the negative and I laughed even louder than before

"We'll probably eat hot pockets, she'll make me paint her toenails and then we might make out and watch Talladega Nights or Confessions of a Shopaholic on repeat. I'm sure there will be blow jobs and sex, just not as much as I imagine," he laughed as we pulled into the city limits of Port Angeles and I immediately started to look for the local Walgreens.

When I finally parked, I tried to get Jasper to stay in the car, knowing full well he was going to make everything ten times more embarrassing than it needed to be. He followed me in and hung on me like a piece of toilet paper to my shoe.

"What about these ones?" he said as he handed me a pack of Magnums.

"I'm not fucking hung like Seabiscuit, contrary to the rumors going around school," I admitted as I tossed them back on the shelf and looked for what I wanted. I had my usual brand from back in the day, but when I found out my parents were going away, I immediately noticed my stash was completely depleted. However, since it's been a few months since I got anything remotely close to pussy, they may have discontinued my preferred brand. Is that possible? Edward Cullen goes celibate for a while and suddenly his favorite condoms are off the shelf?

"Ooh, these ones are ribbed for her pleasure," Jasper laughed as he threw another box at me and I took a step back as they fell to the floor. I reluctantly put them back on the shelf and searched again, suddenly feeling very nervous.

"I seriously think I am going to die," I admitted as Jasper handed me another package, this one was flavored.

"98% of people will die sometime in their lives," he said coolly as I smacked him upside the head and he reached up to rub where I had hit him. "Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jewish God! Help me, Allah! Help me, Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft to get the asshole off me! Help me, Oprah Winfrey!"

"Stop fucking quoting Talladega Nights while I try to pick out condoms," I said through clenched teeth. "You are such an ass Jazz."

"Fine, I'm gonna go see if I can peek through the plastic covers on the nudie magazines," he said with a loud laugh as he finally left me alone in the aisle to figure out what I needed. Unfortunately, just as he disappeared, Mrs. O'Reilly, my second grade teacher slowly came down the aisle. I grabbed four different packages and practically sprinted to the cash, paying with cash and running out the door, feeling completely fucking mortified.

Jasper found me five minutes later sitting in the drivers' seat, anxiously waiting for him. "Holy shit. How many times do you plan to fuck the poor girl?" he asked as he noticed my wide assortment of condoms. I ran my hand down my face and then mocked beating my head against the steering wheel of the Volvo.

"Hopefully more than once," I said awkwardly.

"More than one dozen times or more than just once?"

"Mrs. O'Reilly showed up the moment you left and I just grabbed some and ran like the wind," I admitted reluctantly. Jasper broke out into loud laughter and then offered to buy me dinner at Burger King to make everything alright. After a Whopper and some casual conversation with Jazz, I went home feeling slightly better about the entire situation.

Friday morning when I picked Bella up from school, she already had her overnight bag with her. "Eager are we?" I said as I kissed her cheek and she smiled happily at me as she put it in the backseat. Regardless of the fact that she was smiling from ear to ear, she still seemed nervous. As we pulled away from her house, I noticed her hands fidgeting with the hem of her coat and even though I tried not to, it still bothered me.

When we pulled into the parking lot, Bella immediately went to get out of the car and I stopped her, grabbing her upper arm in the process. "Are you thinking of backing out? Cause I won't be mad if you decide you aren't ready for this weekend."

"I'm not backing out Edward," she said quietly as her hand reached over and began stroking my thigh gently. "I want you and I want us to have this weekend alone. You just need to be a bit patient with me if I seem nervous; I've never done this before."

"I know. I just don't want you to think I am pressuring you because yeah… I want you really badly. So badly it hurts sometimes, but I don't want you to do it because you think I won't stay with you or something. I'm not going anywhere," I stated confidently as I leaned in to Bella and kissed her firmly on the lips.

"Well, we have to go to class, so let's get that shit done and over with," she said as she turned in her seat and opened the car door. I held her hand tightly the entire way into the school and even took her to her first class, though it meant I was slightly late for mine.

During lunch, it was like we were in our own little world. We chatted casually with our friends, but there was like a silent conversation going on between Bella and me. We were always touching each other, whether it was just me holding her hand or her stroking my thigh, it didn't matter. Alice had agreed to let us come over on Saturday afternoon so that Bella could call Charlie from her phone, thus eliminating any suspicion and I had to laugh at how crafty the girls were being about the entire situation.

When we got up to leave the lunchroom, I couldn't help but notice the stares from Jessica and her friends at their table. Jess and I hadn't talked since Friday night at the Halloween party but I didn't mind. In fact, I preferred to get the cold shoulder from her. She had thought that Bella was responsible for the flyers basically outing her as a slut, but Bella had set her straight.

It had come out that Rosalie was responsible for the situation, but Emmett took all the blame and was currently suffering through a week of out of school suspension. I kinda felt bad for the guy, but I knew that given the same situation, I would cover Bella's ass in a heartbeat. That was what you did for the person you cared about.

All through health class, I stared at Bella. I couldn't help but wonder if we would just have sex the moment we walked in the house, or if I should be doing something more romantic. I quickly realized that romance was definitely lacking in our plans, so I excused myself from class and claimed I needed to go to the bathroom. While I was gone, I called the local florist and ordered a bunch of flowers to be delivered at the house around six and then I decided to order some Chinese food for dinner when we got home. At least I had some semblance of a plan now and didn't feel like some asshole who just wanted to take his girlfriends virginity.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked Bella when the final bell rang for the day and she was shoving her text book into her backpack.

"Yeah, I just need to drop a few things off at my locker and then we can leave." I followed Bella like a lost puppy dog through the hallway and back to her locker. Once she was done, I wrapped my hand firmly around hers and led her out to the car, trying to act like a gentleman as I opened the door for her to the Volvo. The moment she had sat down and I closed the door behind her; I was practically bouncing with excitement. I couldn't believe I was taking her home with me for the weekend. Even if we didn't manage to finally have sex, I knew just sleeping beside her at night would be awesome. Who am I kidding? I needed to fuck her.

**A/N: What's this? Another Fic Rec? Check out AngryBadgerGirl's 'The Naked Guy Upstairs'. I'm sure you can all guess who the naked guy is LOL. How about 'Doctors Without Borders' by Belladelaluna or maybe you want to check out 'Seeing their Future' by my girl kikikinz. Okay, that is all, now press that little green button and make us both happy! **


	15. My First Time

**A/N: Have you guys read my DILF entry, 'Sweet and Lowdown'? Voting is now open, so if you haven't read it, run on over. The link is in the story.**

**Big thanks to my awesometastic beta MaggieMay14 for having such a speedy turnaround time and getting tickets to New Moon for opening night. You rock. Big love to my pre-readers, flightlessbird11, Risbee, beegurl13 and GreenEyedGirl17. Thanks for being so supportive girls.**

**I don't own Twilight, but I am loving the current episode of Glee. Mmm… hot Mr. Schuster. LOL**

**Onto the show.**

**BPOV**

I sat beside Edward in the small confines of the Volvo and for the first time in a long time, I felt nervous. I knew what was going to happen, and I had to admit a small part of me was really, really excited, but the rest of me thought I might just puke.

"You okay?" he asked sweetly as he reached over the console between us and began rubbing my inner thigh. I nodded my head and then leaned over to give him a small kiss as we stopped at a stop sign. I didn't want him to know I was nervous, but I was about to lose my virginity after all, there was bound to be some reluctance on my part.

When we pulled into his driveway and I saw that his dad's SUV was gone, I finally had confirmation that this was happening. Not that I really thought it wasn't, but it suddenly very real to me. Edward grabbed my bag from the back seat and we walked silently into the house together. It was only three in the afternoon and I couldn't imagine that we would move right into the sex, could we?

"Do you want to watch a movie or something? I think we should just hang out for a while. I'll go get us some drinks," said Edward quickly and I immediately realized something important. He was nervous too.

"Sure, a movie sounds perfect," I admitted as I felt somewhat relieved by his anxiousness. I knew Edward wasn't a virgin. Hell, half of Forks knew he wasn't since he wasn't exactly shy in his previous womanizing ways, but it was nice to see him uncertain, like me. I walked over to the family room and began to sort through the insane selection of DVD's the Cullen's had. Edward had told me that when he was younger, his parents used to always have movie or game nights with him on Sundays and they would watch something from their collection. I was envious that he had that time with his parents. I had Charlie and I loved him with all my heart, but our life hadn't been the same since Renee had left.

I pulled a worn out copy of 'You've Got Mail' off the shelf and laughed when Edward rolled his eyes after looking at the DVD case. "That's my mom's favorite movie," he announced as I shoved it back and reached for 'The Dark Knight', deciding that this was more our speed.

Edward and I sat down on the couch, our cans of soda on the coffee table in front of us and not even five minutes into the movie, we were making out like crazy. We had obviously progressed in our relationship to the point where we were comfortable with one another, but as Edward's hands roamed all over my body, I couldn't help but tense up slightly. I was frustrated with myself the moment Edward noticed and then proceeded to call me out about it.

"Are you sure you are okay?" he asked again as he pulled back and tugged my shirt down a bit, as it had ridden up to show my midriff to him. I clenched my hands together and decided to just bite the bullet and tell him about my reservations. Surely he would understand right?

"I'm nervous about this… about us," I said as I motioned with my hand between the two of us. Edward quirked his eye brow, no doubt confused about what I was saying. "I'm nervous about having sex with you. I want to. I REALLY want to, but I feel like there is all this pressure to just do it. Did you want to do it right now? Like on the couch and stuff?"

Edward began to run his hands through his hair and I could instantly tell he was frustrated. We had already discussed the fact that he couldn't be a good poker player because his tells were really quite obvious. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to do Bella. Sure, we have the house to ourselves for like forty eight hours, but I just want to be with you. If you want to spend the next two days eating Macaroni & Cheese while we watch repeats of Glee on the TIVO, I am fine with that too."

"Really?" I asked, sounding way too incredulous for my own liking.

"Yes, really. Why does that surprise you? I don't want to rush you, I just thought this was what you wanted," he said genuinely as I moved closer to him on the couch and rested my head against his chest. "This weekend is all about you."

"Thanks," I said sweetly as I leaned up and kissed his chin as my hand moved its way under his shirt, his bare chest feeling electric against my skin. I might not be completely ready for sex on his parents couch, but I wasn't against feeling up my boyfriend for a little while.

We went back into our usual routine and were making out on the couch again, my tension gone as I felt Edward's lips against mine as he moved me until I was straddling his lap. His strong hands found purchase on my ass and he was gripping it forcefully as he pulled me closer to him, our tongues practically dancing around each other in my mouth. I could feel him harden beneath me and though I was reluctant to have sex with him, there were other things I wasn't against doing.

As Edward's hand moved up slightly and he grabbed the hem of my shirt, I backed away and let him pull off of my body. I never got tired of the look on his face when he saw me in just a bra, or even better, without anything on at all. He always looked at me like he was staring at the Mona Lisa for the very first time, and my heart swelled. "Jesus, you are so fucking beautiful," he said genuinely before moving his head forward, his lips resting on the swell of my breast. My fingers threaded through his hair and I let out a small gasp as Edward's lips then descended on my fabric covered breast.

When I felt like I couldn't take it anymore, I slid off of Edward's lap, much to our mutual disappointment. It wasn't until my hands clasped his belt and I began tugging at it to release him that he realized what I was doing. He casually leaned his head back against the couch and watched intently as I fumbled my way through getting his pants off. "Do you want some help?" he asked, once I finally had his jeans around his ankles, and his cock was straining against the confines of his dark blue boxer shorts.

"Do you think you can do this yourself?" I asked with a sly grin as I moved my hand against his cock, effectively stroking it through the fabric.

"Gah, fuck no," he forced out as I grinned again, feeling fairly smug about the pleasure I knew I was already bringing him.

"I didn't think so," I said as I hooked my fingers in the waistband of his boxers and Edward lifted his ass slightly, allowing me to pull them down easily. It hadn't been that long since I had last seen his cock, but I was in awe of it regardless. It wasn't huge or tiny, but honestly, I thought it was perfect. I wrapped my hand around it and took my time pumping him, enjoying myself as I listened to his small groans and watched his body tense.

I noticed as Edward closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip, so I decided it was the perfect time to take him into my mouth, a sneak attack if you will. Once I had my lips wrapped around his cock, I heard a very loud gasp fall from Edward's mouth. "Oh fuck. You are so fucking good," he growled as I noticed his hands were gripping the edge of the couch cushions tightly, his knuckles white. "So warm."

I sped up my motions and tightened up my mouth slightly, trying to remember everything I had heard between Rosalie and Alice the previous week. My hand moved down lower, between his legs and I gently took his balls into my hands and Edward let out another loud noise. "Holy fuck," he yelled, but I didn't stop because he didn't seem upset, just more turned on.

Each time I thrust my head back down, I tried to move him further into my mouth, testing my own tolerance while trying to get him off. Lord knows I wasn't a professional at this, and deep-throating him was something I wasn't exactly able to do yet, but he didn't seem to mind the pace at which I sucked and fondled him. In fact, he seemed downright enthusiastic about the entire thing.

Within minutes, he was tugging on my ear gently and I knew he was trying to pull me off of him, which wasn't happening. "I'm coming," he called out as he tried in vain to tug on my ear and I instead gripped his hips in my hands and I let out a low hum, just as he came in my mouth. I swallowed every drop and took a few more seconds to clean him up, much to his surprise.

Just as Edward was about to pull me up, there was a loud knock on the door, surprising both of us. "Do you want me to hide?" I asked curiously as Edward pulled up his boxers and jeans. I tossed him his shirt and he shrugged his shoulders.

"No. There's no reason for you to hide, you are allowed to be here," he said with a laugh as I followed him towards the door. When we opened it up, there was no one there, just an identical bouquet to the one he gave me on our first date, with the multicolored gerbera daisies. I was speechless.

Edward picked it up off the porch and handed it to me with the biggest grin on his face. As I wrapped my hand around it, I rushed forward and kissed him fiercely. "Thank you," I said genuinely as I kissed him one more time and I couldn't help but notice the blush spreading on his face. "This was so sweet. When did you have time to get them?"

"You're welcome," he said nervously as he then led me into the kitchen to find a vase to put them in. Edward then proceeded to tell me how during his bathroom break from Health Class he called and ordered them to be delivered, as well as the fact that he ordered us dinner from my favorite Chinese restaurant. I was surprised to see the effort he had put into everything and I kissed him again as he helped me put the flowers into the water filled vase.

We left the flowers on the kitchen counter and headed back to the living room. We spent the next two hours working on the mass amount of homework we were assigned for the weekend. I think it was karma playing a bad joke on us because of course now that we had a house to ourselves; we had tons of work to get done.

Just as we finished up a small project we needed to get done for health class, our dinner arrived. Edward set everything up on the living room coffee table as I cleaned up our school books, somewhat relieved to have almost everything done. I had some reading left to do for English class, but it was nothing I couldn't handle later in the weekend. Edward however, still had some stuff for Government to do, but he was putting it off, saying that if I was done my work, then so was he.

We sat comfortably on the floor of his living room and ate cheerfully with me chowing down on some lemon chicken as Edward devoured some lo mien and egg rolls. Apparently blow jobs and homework made my man hungry… who knew? Once we finished eating, Edward and I decided to go bring my bag upstairs to his room and as we climbed the stairs, my resolve seemed to slip away.

I had been in Edward's bedroom before, but never with the plan of me staying overnight, so everything suddenly looked different to me. His bed looked smaller, even though it was a queen and the entire room seemed different. I briefly wondered if I would feel or look different after we finally had sex. "Penny for your thoughts," said Edward as he called me out of my reverie.

I was now sitting on the edge of his bed, my fingers twisting among each other, although for the first time since we left school I didn't feel nervous anymore. If anything, I was eager… hell, enthusiastic almost. "What do we do now?" I asked, unsure of how to proceed. It was only seven o'clock and no way was I ready to go to bed.

"Why don't we just go watch some TV or something? We can try to watch 'The Dark Knight' again," suggested Edward as I grabbed at my bag and quickly unzipped

"TV sounds good, but I want to get changed first," I announced as I rummaged through my bag and pulled out the tank top and short set I had brought to sleep in. Not that I truly planned on wearing anything while I slept, but I had to give the appearance of being a good girl. Edward turned his back and changed from his school clothes as I tossed my pajama set on. When we finally walked down stairs, I changed my mind about our plans for the night. "I want to bake cookies."

"I don't know how to bake," stated Edward as I gripped his hand and led him towards the kitchen. Esme had dozens of cookbooks and I grabbed one by Martha Stewart and began flipping through it as I called out ingredients to Edward who searched through the cupboard to see if we had everything we needed.

"Why don't we just go buy one of those tubes of Pillsbury cookies at the store?" asked Edward after a few minutes and it seemed like we were getting nowhere.

"Did you want to leave the house?" I asked as I put the book down and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around him and pressing my chest to his back.

"No."

"Then keep looking. I want fresh baked cookies."

After ten minutes, I discovered Edward didn't know much about his own fricking kitchen and I was able to find all the ingredients to make Chocolate Chip Cookies. He pretended to be reluctant about it as he helped me measure the ingredients and then helped me mix it.

"Taste it," I instructed Edward as I got a scoop of the batter on my finger and I offered it to him. He looked at me with raised eye brows and grabbed my finger, slowly sliding it into his mouth. I honestly think him sucking the cookie dough off of my finger was one of the most erotic things I had ever witnessed in my life. I was bombarded with visions of him doing the exact same thing to my nipples and I felt myself get wet. "That was good," he said once he had popped my finger out of his mouth.

"Yes, it was," I said breathily as I then washed my finger and pulled out a cookie sheet. Edward stood behind me, his newly formed erection pressed against my ass and his hands on my hips, as he watched me spoon the dough onto the cookie sheet. Once I had one sheet filled I handed it to him and he slid it into the preheated oven.

I was about to start scooping out the second batch onto the awaiting cookie sheet, but Edward suddenly lifted me up and sat me on the counter, spreading my legs open as he positioned himself between them. "Can I just say that you have me completely baffled?"

"How is that?" I asked curiously as I scooped out a small finger full of dough and shoved it in my mouth, tasting the fruits of my labor.

"One second you are telling me you aren't ready for sex and the next you are sensually feeding me cookie dough and grinding your ass against my cock as I stand behind you," he said firmly as his lips met my neck and he began sucking on my tender skin like crazy. I let out a low moan of arousal and Edward's hands my found my ass again and he pulled me towards him, his hard cock pressing against me.

"Perhaps I just like teasing you," I said as I moved my hips and ground myself against him. Edward let out a hiss and then began sucking on the other side of my neck. We continued like this for almost ten minutes, only separating when the timer on the over went off, signaling that the first batch of cookies were ready. As Edward pulled them out of the oven, I prepared the next pan for him to slide in.

We worked in perfect rhythm, making out when the cookies were in the oven and preparing them the rest of the time. Before I knew it, it was almost nine and we had four dozen chocolate chip cookies made. We spent time washing up as they cooled, although Edward spent more time staring down my tank top rather than actually drying the dishes. I sat on the counter again and enjoyed a few cookies and a glass of milk as I steeled my nerves. As I watched him casually toss a cookie into his mouth, I knew there was no going back now.

Edward wasn't pressuring me, but rather he just enjoyed being with me. He humored me as we made cookies and did our homework and I knew if I asked him right now to come back to the living room to watch some lame ass movie on Lifetime with me, he would do it. My Edward was not the jackass everyone in school knew. He wasn't the guy who randomly slept with chicks because he could. He was mine and I wanted him completely and always.

Once I noticed he was done, I hopped down from the counter and grabbed his hand, dragging him wordlessly through the house and up the stairs into his bedroom. When we entered, I closed the door firmly behind us. I wasn't expecting any interruption, but with my luck Jasper would run in here and start quoting some shit from Talladega Nights like 'Are we about to get it on? Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.'

"What are we doing?" asked Edward as I pushed him towards the edge of his bed and he sat down, looking at me with concern. What the hell did he think we were doing? Rather than try to explain myself, I pulled my tank top off and then pulled down my shorts, leaving me in just my panties. Edward's eyes bugged out of his head as I stood there, almost completely naked.

I watched as he stood up and moved towards me slowly, his hands finally resting against my hips as he kissed me sweetly. "We don't need to do this."

"I want to do this," I said forcefully as I wrapped my hand around his neck and pulled him down to me into a deep kiss, our tongues mingling furiously as I felt Edward's grip on my hips tighten. "I might have been nervous earlier, but you changed everything."

"Really? I have no idea what I did, but yea me," Edward said with a small laugh as he then pulled me in for a hug. God, a hug was so not what I wanted right then. "I'm ready to wait as long as you want me to." I pulled back and looked at Edward in his deep green eyes, realizing again that my decision to be with him was right.

"Just shut up," I said with a small laugh as I walked forward, effectively moving Edward back to his bed again. He sat down with a loud thud and I sat on his lap, my legs wrapped around his back. I held his face in my hands tenderly and kissed him chastely before leaning into his ear. "Make love to me."

Edward stood, his hands holding me in place around him, and repositioned us on the bed so that I was on my back and he was hovering above me. "If you ever decide you don't want this, tell me and I will stop," he said stoically and I could see the reservation in his eyes. He knew he was going to be my first, and if I had my way he would be my only, but I couldn't tell him that. Not now anyways.

I reluctantly nodded my head at his request and agreed to stop if I was uncomfortable, but I knew I wouldn't. Edward lowered his lips to mine and it felt right. After minutes of simply making out, I was suddenly desperate for skin to skin contact and I was tugging at the hem of his t-shirt, eager to get it off of him. "You do realize we have all night right? All weekend technically," said Edward as I kissed him again to silence him. I knew I had time with him, but I couldn't wait.

"I just want you so much," I admitted when I finally pulled away and I finished pulling his shirt over his head, tossing it onto the floor.

"You have no fucking idea how long I have wanted you," he said fiercely as I noticed the resolve in his eyes. He wanted me just as long as I had wanted him, I could tell. "We're not wasting any more time apart."

"Fuck no," I said loudly and Edward pulled back me from as he laughed. "What?" I asked, hoping he was laughing at my comment and nothing else.

"Nothing, you are just so cute sometimes," he said as he then began kissing his way across my bare chest. I had felt a little self conscious earlier when we had changed and I opted to go braless, but now as I felt his lips move to my nipple, I couldn't help but feel happy about that decision. Edward took his time on my breasts, kissing them gently and then biting them softly. While his mouth teased my one breast, his hand massaged the other, eliciting noisy groans of pleasure from me. Every single time Edward touched me, it was like the first time and I felt fireworks.

My breath caught when Edward pulled away slightly and I noticed the smirk on his face as he looked over my body, seeming to approve of what laid before him. I reached up and tried to tug his pants down but his hands quickly caught mine. "Patience is a virtue which you have clearly never learned," he stated as he then rested my hands on either side of my body and began slowly kissing his way down my stomach, kissing around my belly button before finally moving down and kissing my fabric covered wetness.

"Oh-h-h god," I stuttered quietly as Edward kissed me against the fabric again. I unconsciously spread my legs open for him, giving him more room to maneuver as he moved his body between my thighs. My stomach was doing flips in anticipation as I watched him hook his fingers under the edge of my panties and pull them down my legs.

When I was finally completely bare and open for him, he looked at me greedily. "I have missed tasting you this week," he said forcefully as he then bent down and began to lick at my clit.

"Ah gah," I called out hastily. "You can taste me whenever you want," I yelled out frantically as he then added his fingers to the mix and I gripped onto Edward's sheets in an effort to compose myself somewhat. I was ten times more aroused than I had been on Halloween, and that was saying something because I was beyond excited that night.

"Jesus, are you okay up there?" asked Edward as he pulled away and I felt the loss.

"Don't stop," I pleaded with him as I felt him slide two fingers inside of me and I bit down on my bottom lip to keep from screaming out. Edward moved his fingers in and out of me at a slow pace as he then moved his tongue to my clit and he began licking and sucking it on it. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on anything but what Edward was doing to me in order to prolong this, but it wasn't working. Moments later, I screamed out and came, panting loudly and clutching the sheets for dear life.

I didn't give Edward a chance to say anything, I as threw myself towards him as he sat up. I wrapped my arms around his neck and began kissing him passionately, not really caring that I could taste myself on him. "I need you naked now," I said enthusiastically as Edward launched himself off of the bed and began tearing his pants off, practically tripping over them in the process.

When he was completely naked, he came back to the bed and me. "I tried to make you as ready as you could be," he uttered sweetly, concerned about my well being during the whole situation. I knew this wouldn't be that fun and would possibly be painful, but I was prepared for it. Edward reached into his nightstand and I couldn't help but be concerned at the plethora of condoms in the drawer.

"Umm… are you planning for the apocalypse?" I asked with a nervous laugh. I seriously thought he had like four boxes in there. How often did he think we were going to do it? Could we even do it that much in one weekend?

"It's a really long and embarrassing story," said Edward as he rested his forehead against mine. "Believe me when I say that I just bought them and I am not planning to use them all this weekend." I let out a small sigh of relief as I felt Edward's lips move against mine and then I heard the tell tale sound of the wrapper being ripped open. I had seen enough movies to know what was happening, but being with Edward now was so different than anything I had ever imagined.

He deftly sheathed his hard cock and I smiled gently at him as he repositioned himself. "Seriously, if you don't want to do this…" he began to say as I reached my hand up and silenced him.

"Stop second guessing this. I want you and I want this," I said as I wrapped my legs around his ass and tried to pull him closer to me. I didn't want him to have any doubts about what I wanted. I felt the head of his length slide into me and I tried not to tense and effectively freak him out.

"Are you okay" he inquired as I nodded my head quickly, hopeful that he didn't sense my slight hesitance. It wasn't the most uncomfortable thing I had ever dealt with in my life but with each inch he eased into me, it became worse. Edward kissed my lips softly and stayed in place to allow me to adjust to him before he then pulled out and I breathed a silent sigh of relief. He moved against me again and this time it didn't hurt as much.

When Edward was finally buried within me again, I heard him let out a small hiss and it was my time to be concerned, not knowing what the hell was normal in this sort of situation. "Is everything alright?" I questioned tentatively as I felt Edward rest his head against my shoulder before he responded.

"You have no idea," he muttered as he moved out of me once more. "You are so fucking perfect."

**EPOV**

Perfect didn't even begin to describe how I felt with Bella at that exact moment. I was anxious she wasn't ready and that she would regret this in the morning, but the more I worried, the more she tried to reassure me.

I slipped back inside of her, trying to take my time and be as patient with her as I could, but it was harder with every movement to not just grab her hips and thrust into her with all my might. It had never been like this before when I've been with a girl. I've never wanted to go slow and take my time with them or anything like that, but Bella wasn't just any girl to me. It was all about me before and today just felt different somehow.

I almost laughed when Bella asked me if I was okay. Fuck yes, I was more than okay. I was buried cock deep inside the sexiest and tightest girl I had ever known and I had to admit there were thoughts running through my mind about me being the only bastard to be inside of her… ever. I wanted her like this always.

After a few minutes of letting her adjust to me, it took all my willpower not to flip her over and have my way with her, but I somehow managed some semblance of control. "This is so much better than I ever imagined," I whispered to her as I felt her hands work through my hair and my lips moved down to hers as I kissed her, hoping I could convey one tenth of what I was feeling to her. I moved my hand to where we were joined and found her clit, rubbing it slowly with my thumb.

"Ahhh fuck," Bella moaned out as I pressed a little harder and then moved in and out of her a little faster.

"Let me know if it hurts you at all," I implored her, but she simply shook her head back and forth against the pillow her head was resting on.

"Oh fuck… It feels so fucking… so fucking good," she forced out as I continued my motions and then picked up the pace even more. After a few more moments, I was finally fucking her with a bit more vigor and I loved it since she was even tighter than I ever imagined.

I knew I was reaching my own precipice and when I noticed Bella arch her back slightly, I picked up my movements on her clit, pleading with her to come for me. "I want to feel you around me Bella. Please come for me."

"Oh fuck yes," she growled as her fingers dug into my back and I thrust inside of her again, my own release imminent. I pressed against her clit firmly and then pinched it between my fingers, causing her to scream out my name and her entire body to tense. Bella's ecstasy was the sexiest thing I had ever seen in my entire life, and with one more pump inside of her, I came. Her name was falling from my mouth like a religious chant and I couldn't help but want this forever.

"Don't move," she begged me as I went to roll off of her and give her some space to calm down. "I want you with me." I didn't want to keep my weight on top of her, so I rolled onto my side and wrapped my arms tightly around her, holding her as close to me as I could. I then reached down and tugged the condom off, tossing it in the garbage can near my bed before I pulled the blankets up to cover us.

"Are you alright? Sore? Tired? Grumpy? Dopey? Doc?" I asked stupidly, as I tried to bring some sort of humor to the situation.

"You just made love to me and now you have jokes to crack?" she asked with a small laugh as I kissed her temple. Was that what we did? Make love? I wasn't about to sit here and over analyze every little thing that had gone down between us. All I cared about was her and that she was okay.

"I just wanted to make sure you weren't hurt or regretting anything we did," I said stoically as she began to nibble on my bottom lip and I felt her legs entwine with mine.

"Other than being a little sleepy and more than a little fucking ecstatic, I'm fine." Bella smiled such a simple yet gorgeous smile, I couldn't help but kiss her lips sweetly. How the hell did I manage to make it through my life so long without her? Bella rested her head against my chest and I began rubbing circles on the small of her back. In mere minutes she was fast asleep and I was savoring every single second of just being with her before sleep claimed me as well.

The next morning when I woke up, Bella was still curled into my side. I didn't want to wake her since she looked so peaceful, so I simply laid there beside her, stroking her hair gently and recalling every single moment from the night before. They way she looked so happy as we baked cookies in the kitchen and she realized she didn't burn a single one of them. How she took charge of her obvious anxiousness and calmed both of us enough to make love. How fucking gorgeous she looked beneath me as I made her come and she called out my name. Fuck, now I was hard.

"Are you watching me sleep?" she asked about fifteen minutes later, catching me off guard because I didn't know she was awake.

"No, I was counting the hairs of your head."

"How many are there?"

"Umm… last count was 2,934," I replied with a chuckle as I kissed her lips and she rolled away from me slightly and began to stretch her arms over her head. My eyes immediately went to her chest because the moment the blanket moved, I got the worlds' best view of her tits.

"See something you like?" she asked without hesitance before pulling the blanket back up to cover herself. I was about to answer her, when her stomach started to growl and instead I hopped out of bed and tossed on some boxer shorts. I offered her my hand and pulled her up to join me, the sheets falling completely from her body and I tried not to stare. Instead, I reluctantly offered her one of my football jerseys, which she took with a huge smile on her face.

"What's with the grin?" I inquired as she slipped the shirt on over her head and I let out a small groan now that she was no longer naked in front of me.

"It's your jersey," she giggled as she then pulled on a pair of panties that she had grabbed from her bag.

"So?"

"So? This is like major. If any of the girls saw me in this thing they would be so envious. Haven't you ever seen the stares that Rosalie and Alice get on game days when they wear Emmett and Jasper's jerseys?" she asked me as I shook my head in the negative. "I didn't think so. You were probably too busy gearing up for the game or something."

"Something like that," I said as I watched her put away her clothes from last night into her bag and noticed my name across her back, the significance of the jersey. "So, you girls like it because it shows who you belong to right?"

I moved up behind Bella and wrapped my arms tight around her waist. "Something like that," she replied, throwing back my words from just seconds ago.

"Feel free to keep the shirt and wear it every fucking day if you want," I said genuinely as I kissed her neck softly. "Everyone needs to know you are _mine."_

Once she seemed pleased with her appearance, I took her hand in mine and led her downstairs determined to make her breakfast. My downfall however was that I didn't cook. Bella hopped up onto the kitchen island tentatively as I opened up the fridge and began sorting through its contents. How on earth did my parents think I could survive by myself based on the food they left behind?

"How do you feel about waffles?"

"I feel pretty good about them actually, but didn't we use all the eggs last night for the cookies?"

"Why do you need eggs to make Eggo waffles?"

"Are you seriously trying to offer me toaster waffles?" she asked with one quirked eye brow as I shrugged my shoulders and nodded my head remorsefully.

"Yes. I honestly don't know how to cook and our options right now are me cooking Eggos or us eating our cookies from last night." Bella hopped down from the counter and began moving around the kitchen as if she lived here, which made me smile. Within minutes she had two bowls of Frosted Flakes, filled with milk set in front of us at the small kitchen table. We ate silently, both of us practically staring at the other.

"What do you want to do today?" I asked as I shoved the last spoonful of cereal into my mouth and waited patiently for her to respond.

"Absolutely nothing. I told Alice we would be over around four so I could call my dad, but until then I want us to do as little as possible."

"Sounds like a plan. We will do nothing today," I said as I grabbed my bowl and rinsed it out before shoving it in the dishwasher.

Bella seemed in good spirits, but I knew she was hiding how she felt from me. She was clearly sore based on the way she was walking and how she had sat down on the chair and counter gingerly. As she finished her breakfast, I decided to run a bath up in my parents' huge tub and when she came upstairs and found me later, she was surprised to say the least.

"Are we bathing together?" she asked hesitantly. I knew we had moved forward a hell of a lot these last twenty four hours, but I didn't think she was ready for that yet. Then again, she was constantly surprising me. "Would you like to?"

"Do you want me to?" I asked in reply, which I could tell frustrated her because I didn't state my own opinion, but rather asked hers. She nodded and I watched as she pulled my jersey over her head before she pulled down her panties and stepped into the warm water. I followed and sat behind her in the tub, wrapping my arms and legs around her slightly. "This is very Pretty Woman of us."

"Who's the overpriced hooker in this scenario?"

"Umm… neither of us. I just meant the fact that we were in a bath together," Bella laughed as I reached for the washcloth I had left out for her. I poured a little bit of body wash on it and proceeded to wash her as best as I could, considering our awkward positioning. "Can I ask you something?" Bella questioned after we had been in the bath for almost five minutes and I was done washing her.

"What do you want to do when you graduate?"

Wow, that question came out of left field. Here I thought she was going to ask why I made her a bath or if I regretted last night at all. Instead I got the future of my life question. Shit.

"I'm planning to go to college Bella, just like you." Was that vague enough for her? Probably not, I thought to myself as she grabbed my hands and held them up to hers in the air before she entwined her fingers in mine. She stared at them joined together for a moment before finally responding to me.

"I've wanted to be a nurse for as long as I could remember, so I'm planning to apply to a few local colleges and universities that offer programs. Do you know where you want to apply?" Bella asked casually. Even though I knew her question was a simple one, I didn't want to give an answer that would alienate her from me. I didn't want to tell her that I didn't plan to stay local and it had been my dream for as long as I could remember to either head out to California or head east and go to Dartmouth or Columbia. I lived in Forks, but that was all. It didn't define me and I didn't see myself settling here in the long run.

"I don't know yet," I lied. "My dad has been pressuring me about certain schools but I haven't made any decisions about my major or school of choice." I felt Bella rest her head back against my shoulder and the tension in her body seemed to ease, as mine became more obvious.

"You'll tell me when you decide right?" she inquired and I felt my heart ache because I knew deep down that I probably wouldn't tell her the moment I applied. I wanted her happy, not all depressed and worried about the fact that we may be going to schools in different states. I was going to apply to the University of Washington, mainly because of her, but it wasn't my first choice or my fourth.

"Yeah, of course I would," I lied.

I felt like shit.

Just after four, we arrived at Alice's house and knocked on the door, waiting impatiently in the dreary rain for her to open the door. When she finally showed up, Bella and I were both shocked, to say the least. "Is that a fucking toga?" asked Bella as she pushed her way in and I considered staying on the porch and out of the den of sin she and Jasper had clearly created.

I wasn't surprised when he wandered down the stairs a few minutes later with a floral bedsheet draped around him just like Alice's had been. "I didn't know Rachel Ashwell made Shabby Chic togas," chimed in Bella as I gave her a quick high five before she headed into the kitchen to call her dad and Alice followed behind her.

Jasper sat his cloth covered ass on the couch and I reluctantly continued to stand on the other side of the room, far away from any potential sightings of his peen. "So, how was your night? Did you crack open a case of Magnums?"

I immediately groaned at his comment and then reluctantly nodded my head. If I tried to deny it, he would just push me until I cracked. "Yeah, we did it and it was good. Until this morning, when she decided to ask me about college."

"Oh shit. You do realize she will come at you like a spider monkey when you tell her how you want to go away for school right?" he questioned as I moved closer to him and we could hear Bella talking to her father on the phone, reassuring him that everything was fine at Alice's and that they had already finished their homework.

"I know. She wants local universities or community colleges and I want to go away and have that whole college experience thing. I somehow don't think I will be able to convince her to come away with me dude," I admitted sadly as I ran my hands down my face in frustration. "She's attached to Forks and I fucking hate it here. I can't even take her to the diner for breakfast because we have to be sneaky since everyone in town knows us."

"I feel your pain man," said Jasper as he offered his fist out to me and I looked at him like he was the craziest mother fucker I knew. Which he was. "Alice keeps mentioning heading to New York for fashion school and I know damned well that with my grades I'll be lucky to get into Fuckhole Community College. Which I might not be able to afford even if I got in. We agreed to just live in the moment, so I think you should do the same with Bella."

"Thanks man," I said genuinely as he stood and tried to hug me, but I backed away. He was still wearing just a sheet and the last thing I wanted was his junk anywhere near me. The moment Jasper finally resigned himself to the fact that I was not going to show him any sort of 'man love', the girls walked back into the room, both of them with smug grins on their faces.

"Everything all set?" I inquired as Bella simply nodded her head.

"Yeah, Chief Daddy is pleased that Bella is behaving herself and we are having a grand old time here," said Alice as Bella headed towards the door and I followed. I was glad to know she was just as eager as I was to get the fuck out of the Greek bath house that Alice was running in her parents' absence.

"Thanks for doing this for us," I said to Alice as I put my hand on the small of Bella's back and we walked out onto the cold and rainy porch. Alice simply grinned and told us she was glad to help before Jasper ushered her back into the house and we headed out to the Volvo.

We drove back to the house and decided to order in some pizza for dinner and watch 'Tropic Thunder' which Emmett said was worth it, just to see Tom Cruise dance at the end of the movie. When we were done and everything was cleaned up, we grabbed some of the homemade cookies and headed upstairs to my room.

We began watching Season One of Entourage on DVD and before I knew it, we were making out like rabbits again. I didn't think I was going to get any action tonight, but before I could turn her down, Bella was straddling me and reaching into my nightstand for a condom, which she handed to me. "Don't look at me like that," she said with a grin as she peeled her shirt off and I was rewarded with a spectacular view of her tits.

"Like what?"

"Like you think I am doing this just because you want it," she explained as she leaned forward until her lips were right beside my ear. "I need you inside of me Edward."

I officially became unglued when she said that and next thing I knew, I was buried inside of my girlfriend for the second night in a row as she rode my cock. I was in heaven as I watched her move up and down on my length, my hands gripped firmly on her ass while I helped her as best as I could. Unfortunately, I couldn't take my eyes off her tits long enough to focus on anything and before I knew it, I was coming deep inside of her as I rubbed her clit, getting her off moments later. We fell asleep with her still on top of me and in the middle of the night, we rolled onto our sides, still cocooned together.

When I woke up the next morning, Bella was already awake this time. "I don't want to go home today," she said sweetly as she rested her head on my shoulder and I stroked her hair gently. I didn't want her to leave either. Why couldn't we just fast forward six years or so, until we were done with school and this could be the rest of our lives.

"I know sweetie, but unless we want to explain to your father why I am holding you captive, and risk both my life and the life of my penis, I think I should take you back to Alice's around two so that she can take you home to the Chief," I said, my voice sounding horribly sad.

"Cold pizza for breakfast?"

"Sounds like a plan to me," I replied, hoping I sounded slightly happier than I had a moment earlier. I tossed Bella my jersey again, which she had worn almost all of yesterday, and she quickly put it on as I pulled on a pair of boxers and then led her down into the kitchen. I had my hands wrapped around her waist tightly as we walked in and were shocked by what we found waiting for us.

"Edward, Bella," said my father as he looked at me disapprovingly. I glanced over at my mother and she looked twice as disappointed as my father. "Care to tell us what is going on here?"

_Um. Nope, I don't._


	16. My F'in Disaster

**A/M: I'm back and it's a fabulous hump day. Today my one shot for the DILF contest was rec'd on the Perv Pack Smut Shack blog for one shot Wednesday. There is a link to their site on my blog (listed on my profile) if you want to go check it out.**

**Don't forget to show Esme some loving, time is running out and there is more information on my profile as well. Also, I highly recommend you go check out the blog by my twitter girls TillyWhitlock and Kiki Enigma http://picffcorner(dot)blogspot(dot)com/ It's awesome and this week is 'I Get Off' week with the fabulous britpacksuccubus.**

**Okay, I'm done with all the PSA's. I don't own twilight, I do own a bicycle helmet my daughter is petrified of. Thanks again to MaggieMay14, beegurl13 and flightlessbird11 for pre-reading. Anyone with a 12 in their name care to join us? LOL**

**BPOV**

"_Edward, Bella," said Edward's father as he looked at Edward and I disapprovingly. I glanced over at Esme and she looked twice as disappointed. "Care to tell us what is going on here?"_

My face, which I was sure had the happiest look on it that I had ever had, suddenly fell as my eyes focused on Edward's parents, who were home early from their weekend in Seattle. The tension within the room was as thick as could be and I tried to think of some way to alleviate it.

"Good Morning Dr. and Mrs. Cullen. Would you care for a chocolate chip cookie? They're homemade," I said awkwardly as I held the plate of cookies out towards Edward's parents who were staring at me incredulously. They seemed a little more than put off at the fact that they just found their son with his girlfriend in their house and we were not doing homework.

"We trusted you Edward," stated his father firmly, the disappointment clear in his voice. "You reassured us that you were not going to have a party, so instead you bring your girlfriend over to play house?" I couldn't help but understand the frustration that he was going through. I was currently envisioning how Charlie would feel if it was him who walked in on me and Edward and not the other way around.

"Does Chief Swan know you are here Bella?" asked Esme as I felt Edward's hands tighten around my waist, holding me in place. It was then that I realized I was wearing Edward's football jersey and nothing else. Not even underwear. So much for my idea to do it on the kitchen table. Shit, when did I become so sex obsessed? _Umm… the moment you started having sex with Edward genius._

"No Ma'am," I stated politely as I saw the anguish in Esme's eyes. She had played such a major role in my life after Renee had left, unbeknownst to Edward and I felt bad for deceiving her. Ever since Edward and I had started dating, I hadn't had much time to spend with Esme. I had wanted to sit down with her and thank her for everything she had done for me, since I was now so much older and could understand how important everything was. Now that I was standing here half naked in her kitchen, I couldn't help but feel remorseful.

"Both of you need to go upstairs and get dressed. We want you back down here in five minutes or we are calling the chief," I nodded and pulled myself out of Edward's grip. "Oh and Bella, make sure you have your bag packed since you won't be staying much longer." I nodded again silently and ran from the kitchen and up the stairs as fast as my legs could carry me.

When I got into the bedroom, I grabbed my clothes that I wanted to change into and stepped into the bathroom, effectively hiding myself from Edward, which I knew wouldn't go over well. I was tugging on my jeans when he finally stepped into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him in fury before yelling out for me. "I'm in the bathroom. I'll be right out," I called back to him. I finished dressing rapidly and heard more slamming of doors and drawers from inside of Edward's bedroom.

When I finally stepped out of the bathroom, albeit tentatively, Edward was already fully dressed and his elbows were resting on his knees as his face hidden in his hands. I couldn't determine if he was pissed or sad. "I am so sorry Bella. They weren't supposed to be home until later in the afternoon," he said stoically as he tried to apologize, not that I thought he had anything to apologize for.

"It's not your fault Edward. We should count our blessings that they didn't come home the other night when we were actually… having sex," I said, the last few words falling from my lips quietly.

"My dad got a call from the hospital to come home because one of his patients was desperately in need of surgery this afternoon, so they hightailed it back as soon as they could," he said with a groan as he then ran his fingers through his hair and I went over to sit beside him, trying my best to soothe him as I ran my hand along the back of his neck. Unfortunately, I began to worry about Charlie and his potential reaction to this fuckery.

If he knew what the hell was going on right now, he would be livid. Not only because I lied to him, but because I involved Alice in the lie. She was like a second daughter to him and he had lost the trust of both of us in a matter of minutes. Top it all off with the fact that I had lied because I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend while his parents were out of town and I was certain I would drive Charlie to an early grave.

"Do you think they will tell my dad?"

"My mom said they wouldn't say anything to him, but I think they want you to tell him. They feel bad lying to him since they seem to have some sort of history with him that they refuse to let me in on," he said as I just nodded my head, more than well aware with the history that Charlie had with his parents.

I kneeled down onto the floor and began to gather my things into my backpack so that I could leave. I grabbed my cell phone and quickly called Alice, asking her to pick me up at Edward's place. She immediately became concerned that there was something wrong between Edward and me but I reassured her that we were fine just after she began spouting off dozens of curse words. I let her know to stay in the car until I came out of the house because I certainly didn't need her getting her ass reamed out by Edward's parents either.

Once I had everything in my bag, Edward opened up the door to go back downstairs and his father stood there, looking even angrier than he had in the kitchen."It's been more than five minutes."

"Don't freak out. Bella called to arrange a ride home since you guys probably won't let me out before I graduate high school," stated Edward in frustration as Carlisle moved aside and Edward slipped past him, grabbing my hand in his and pulling me down the stairs with him.

"Edward, you shouldn't be taking that tone with me. I can just make life worse for you," retorted Carlisle as he followed us down the stairs and into the living room where Esme was waiting patiently for us. She looked sad and I couldn't help but mirror her expression as I sat on the couch across from her.

Edward took my hand in his as he sat beside me and he tried to reassure me with gentle touches, but I could tell it was frustrating his parents. When I tried to pull away, he held on tighter. "You do realize that we are eighteen years old right?"

"You do realize you still live under my roof so you have to follow my rules right?" responded Carlisle, mimicking Edward and sounding just as condescending. "Your mother and I realize that you guys are old enough to make somewhat mature decisions, such as sex, but we don't condone you sneaking away and lying about it. What if something had happened Edward?"

"Nothing was going to happen. This is Forks for fucks sake, nothing ever happens here. Why the fuck do you think I want to get the hell out of here?" announced Edward forcefully as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and Esme looked at me again, this time her look was of sympathy. She knew there was virtually no way in hell I would ever leave Charlie alone, so she could tell the outlook wasn't as bright for our relationship as Edward seemed to think it was.

I wasn't going to kid myself into believing that Edward wouldn't go off to college. Was it wrong of me to hope that he would want to stay nearby, perhaps in Seattle or something so that we could be together? I knew there was no way I was getting into some top notch Ivy League school, even with my good grades, simply because I wouldn't apply to them. If I did get in, there was no way in hell I could afford it anyways. Charlie wasn't exactly well off and the salary of a small town Police Chief was nothing major, but every single time I mentioned to Charlie the prospect of getting a job, he refused me, which pissed me off beyond belief.

"Edward, watch your language," scolded Esme as I watched her narrow his eyes at him slightly. "As much as we are disappointed with the both of you, here is what we are going to do. We are not going to tell Charlie about this little weekend escapade, although we think you should tell him yourself Bella." I laughed internally at this thought because I knew there was no way I could tell Charlie this. We were close, but he had pulled out flash cards and tried to play a detailed game of Pictionary with me while having the big 'sex' talk a few years ago. He had a decent relationship going with Edward and I wasn't about to ruin that because Dr. & Mrs. Cullen found us together the morning after we had sex.

"Alright," I stated, just so we could move on and cut the tension in the room again.

"Edward, you are grounded for the rest of the month. You can only use the Volvo to drive to and from school and football practice and any time you spend with Bella will be under the watchful eye of either your father, myself or Chief Swan," advised Esme as I noticed Edward's frown turn into a small smile.

"Wouldn't that mean you would have to physically be around once in a while?" he snarled and I was a bit surprised at how callous his attitude towards his mother was.

"Do you care to make it two months?" shouted Carlisle as Edward shook his head in the negative. "I didn't think so. You would do well to remember who the adults in this situation are Edward. I know you care deeply for Bella but there is no reason to be defensive. We are being pretty lenient considering your broke our rules and made your girlfriend lie to her father."

"Um, sorry to interrupt you Dr. Cullen, but Edward never made me lie to anyone. I managed to come up with the concept all on my own. He didn't encourage me to lie to my father," I stated, trying to help somewhat, although it didn't seem like it was working.

"We can appreciate the troubles of young love, after all Carlisle and I were young once," started Esme as I noticed Edward roll his eyes. "However, that is no excuse for what you did. We are happy that you guys found each other and seem to be happy together, but please don't let your emotions rule your mind. You will get into more trouble than it is worth."

I nodded my head at Esme as I heard the crunch of rocks on their gravel driveway, breathing a small sigh of relief that Alice had arrived. "You are excused Bella, but please don't make it a habit of lying to us and your father. We know better than anyone how he feels about lying." I gripped my bag and practically sprinted out towards the front porch as I let Esme's words ruminate in my mind. She was right, Charlie would be absolutely livid if I lied to him about his, but not telling him was the only solution.

I threw open the door and saw Jasper's pickup truck idling in the driveway as he and Alice waited for me. "I'll see you tomorrow at school right?" I asked Edward as he wrapped his arms around me and there was a small cough from the living room. We ignored it though and Edward kissed my lips sweetly.

"Yeah, I'll be there. I promise that once this month is over, I will make everything up to you. I am so sorry this weekend got fucked up Bella," he stated remorsefully as I kissed his lips one more time and turned to walk down his porch steps. I tossed my bag into the back of Jasper's truck and before I got into the back seat, I looked back and saw a look of complete anguish on Edward's face. My heart was breaking for him as his father grabbed his shoulder and guided him back into the house. I felt like it was going to be the last time I would ever see him, even though I would see him before school tomorrow morning.

As I sat down in the backseat of the truck, Alice turned from the passenger seat to look at me. "You guys got busted?"

"Yeah, you could say that. We were going to have breakfast and strolled into the kitchen half dressed to find his parents were already home," I said as I ran my hand down my face in frustration. I felt so bad leaving Edward there to deal with the brunt of his parents' wrath as I drove home with Jasper and Alice.

"What did you guys say?" questioned Jasper as we turned back onto the main road and he headed towards my fathers' house.

"Would you believe me if I said I stood there in a football jersey and no panties and offered his parents some homemade chocolate chip cookies that Edward and I had made on Friday night?" Alice and Jasper both busted a gut at our expense and after a while, I had to admit the scenario would have been hilarious, had it happened to anyone else.

When we pulled in front of my house, Charlie's cruiser was parked in the driveway although I wasn't surprised. He was most likely watching a Seahawks game or something like that while enjoying a soda or a beer. Then again, it was still kinda early so he could be just having coffee. I thanked Alice and Jasper for dropping me off and then I grabbed my bag from the back and headed into the house, dread washing over me at what I might face inside the house.

"Hey Bells, you are back early," called Charlie from his trusty old recliner as I tossed my backpack at the bottom of the stairs.

"Yeah well, after two days with Alice, I was getting a bit overwhelmed," I lied remorsefully. "Don't worry though; I finished all of my homework except for some reading, so I think I will go get that done after I start a load of laundry."

"Okay Bells, I'm just glad you had a good weekend," he said obliviously as I gave him a tentative hug while he remained seated.

"It was the best Dad," I replied as I began to walk up the stairs. "Too bad it got ruined this morning."

I tossed my bag onto my bed and pulled my laundry bucket up beside it, tossing all my clothes in to it as I sorted out the lights from the darks. I then got changed into a comfortable pair of pajamas as I settled in for a long day of reading and fretting over what Edward was up to at his parents' house. He was surely locked away in his room of his own accord and listening to loud rock music at the top volume. It's not like he had homework to distract him since he had done it all on Friday.

After I got the first load started, I sat down on my bed and read. Before I knew it, it was almost three and I had putting in the second load as Charlie came to confirm with me that it was alright if we ordered Chinese instead of pizza. I explained to him that Alice and I had it on Friday night and remorse set in as I lied, but thankfully I didn't have to eat it again and Charlie went out to the diner to get us some hamburgers and French fries.

Once we were finished dinner I put away my laundry and then took a quick shower and curled back into my bed, only to be scared to death by a rapping noise on my window. I walked over tentatively and was shocked to see Edward sitting on my tree branch waiting for me. I tossed open the window and let him crawl in, against my better judgment.

"What the fuck are you doing? If your parents find out you snuck out, they will have your ass," I announced quietly, so as to not alarm Charlie who had just gone to bed.

"I rode my bike over, so the car is still in the driveway. I am sure they think I am still in my bedroom and will probably avoid me like the plague for the next few days," he stated firmly as he moved closer to me, pressing me against the wall, before his lips descended on mine. Suddenly, I was reminded why all the lying and sneaking around was worth it. I was in love with him.

**EPOV**

Being cooped up in my room all afternoon listening to emo music was really getting to me. My parents offered me dinner, but I quickly turned them down, not wanting to leave my bedroom. I had been sitting there trying to figure out ways to sneak out to see Bella, when I remembered my old BMX bike was still in the garage.

Jasper once had a misguided notion that he would become one of those BMX stunt guys that did flips and shit off of the ramps, so we all got bikes. Two days later, he dislocated his shoulder and we all seemed to lose interest, even though I didn't really have much at the time. Now, I couldn't think of a better reason to own that damned Schwinn than to ride over to Bella's and surprise her.

So after my father got called away to the hospital and my mother decided she was heading to bed early, I snuck out to the backyard and got the bike from the garage. I pedaled my little heart out and thanked god that I was in somewhat decent shape as I pulled up beside her house, hiding my bike in the bushes that separated her property from the neighbor. Needless to say, when I finally got into Bella's bedroom, she was shocked to see me.

"I don't care if I get in trouble again or grounded for the rest of my life, I had to see you." I heard Bella let out a small gasp of air and then kissed her again as my hands moved down her body and found purchase on her ass. Now that we had had sex, I had to admit, I enjoyed touching her more and more. Knowing what lied underneath her clothes was killing me though. Bella had a spectacular body, even though she was a bit self conscious about it. I was hard just from standing in front of her and kissing her.

"I missed you too Edward, but we can't do this. We can't blatantly disobey our parents because they will just make life harder on us. If I actually told Charlie the truth about this weekend, he would be over to your house with his loaded shot gun so fast, it wouldn't be funny," she explained to me as I shook my head slowly.

"I don't care. You're worth the risk. Anyways, Charlie thinks I'm one of the good ones," I said Edward as Bella rolled her eyes at me.

"He only thinks you are a good guy because you bring his daughter home on time from dates and talk about old sportscasters with him. If he knew you were sticking your dick inside of her, on a hopefully frequent basis, he definitely wouldn't like you as much," she said with a small tentative laugh as her cheeks turned the loveliest shade of pink.

"You want to have more sex?"I asked, seeing as I hadn't really heard anything after she said she wanted to screw me on a regular basis. Bella tentatively nodded her head and I suddenly felt myself harden even more as I wrapped my arms around her waist and pushed myself against her, making sure she could feel my arousal. "Okay, I promise I will be on my best behavior so we can have sex more, since I don't want to be grounded for the rest of my life."

"We can't have sex again until you are no longer grounded? Seriously?" asked Bella, sounding incredulous and a little bit too loud. I covered her mouth quickly, so as to not awaken Charlie and I tried to reassure her as best as I could.

"I might be grounded, but there are still ways for us to have sex," I said quietly as I kissed her lips. "Do you honestly think that I could stay away from you?"

"I can't stay away from you either Edward. I am so glad you showed up here tonight." Bella kissed my lips again, this time never parting from them and I couldn't help but grind myself against her again, repeatedly. "I hate to say this, but you need to go."

"I know I do. I will see you again in like ten hours, so I think I can cope," I said as I pulled away and headed back towards her window. "Dress sexy in the morning, maybe a skirt, so we can find our way over to the janitors' closet or the back of the art room." Bella let out a small giggle as I reluctantly climbed out onto the branch and headed back down the tree, trying with all my might not to break my neck.

When I had first wanted to go over to see her, I wanted to tell her that I was falling in love with her, but the words just wouldn't come out. Seeing her panicked as my parents yelled at us in the living room solidified my feelings for her. I felt like shit as we sat there, listening to them yell at us for sneaking around, but I had no regret about what Bella and I had done. It had been perfect and I wanted to take away the hurt she felt as my parents looked at us with disappointment in their eyes. It was then that I knew I loved her above anything else and would do anything for her.

I had always wanted her and I had thought I was in love with her since I was in grade four, but after making love to her and then dealing with the repercussions together, I had no idea what love was until then.

When I got into the Volvo the next morning, after being handed the keys by my father who had taken them away the night before, I breathed out a sigh of relief. I hated the fact that I would barely see Bella unless we were at school and skipping classes was definitely not an option since I needed to keep my grades up so I could get the fuck out of dodge.

When I pulled in front of Bella's house, my heart skipped a beat when I saw that both the Chief's cruiser and Rosalie's truck had already left. I glanced at the clock and noticed we had at least forty five minutes until class started. Since it only took us 5 minutes to get from Bella's house to school, I had forty minutes to spend with her. My mind ran rampant with images of her naked and I practically ran into the house, finding her sitting on the living room couch looking hot as sin.

"Jesus, were you really gonna wear that small skirt to school? It's November Bella, you'll freeze your ass off."

"Well, why don't you take it off of me then and I can change into something else later?" she asked seductively as my eyes grew wide. Jesus fuck, did she want what I think she wanted? I moved further into the living room and stood across from her as I glanced down at her body, my eyes focusing on her chest. She was wearing my football jersey.

"You took my football jersey yesterday?" I asked, my voice cracking like I was going through puberty.

"Yep."

"Are you wearing anything under that skirt?"

"Nope."

"Would you prefer I carried you upstairs or if you just ran?" As if reading my mind, Bella hopped off of the couch and sprinted towards her bedroom, with me close on her heels.

I had spend the night before unable to sleep because I was worried that we wouldn't be able to make time for each other and here I was about to fuck my girlfriend again before school no less. My worries had disappeared and were now replaced with frustration that I hadn't thought about the time we had alone together before school.

"Are you coming?" asked Bella as I stood outside her door and she was laid in the center of her bed, her skirt now resting on the floor and her body propped up on her elbows. She looked so tempting.

"I will be in a few minutes."

I moved over towards her slowly, even though we didn't exactly have all the time in the world. However, as I stood there, staring down at her half nude body, her chest still covered with my football jersey, I couldn't help but feel a bit of remorse. "Do you really want to do this? A quick fuck before class?" I inquired of her as she quirked her eye brow at me.

"Are you seriously standing there before your eager girlfriend trying to talk yourself out of sex?" she asked as I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging on the ends nervously.

"Apparently yes. I just don't want you to have any regrets."

"I've never had a single regret about you and me Edward," she stated as she then spread her legs and I couldn't help but wonder where the hell this bold Bella came from. "Now either you come over here and help me or I take matters into my own hands."

Well, after that comment she didn't need to ask me twice. I yanked at my belt and tugged my pants and boxers down. When my cock sprung to life, my eyes clouded over when I remembered we had no protection. Ever since I started dating Bella, I stopped carrying reserves around in my wallet since we hadn't been having sex until this past weekend. I made a mental note to change that when I got home later in the day. As I stood before her, in all my glory so to speak, I noticed a small package in Bella's hand.

"I stole a handful when I was packing up at your place yesterday morning. Lord knows you had enough for the entire school," she joked as she tossed it towards me. I laid it down on the edge of the bed before crawling towards her, settling my head in between her thighs. She was already dripping wet, but there was no way I was just going to fuck her. I wanted to watch her come because of my fingers and tongue.

I pressed my tongue flat against her warmth and then lapped at her slowly as I noticed her hands grip the comforter of her freshly made bed. As I licked, she writhed and when I slipped two fingers inside of her, preparing her for my cock, she let out a muffled string of expletives which would have impressed even the most hardened sailor. I took my time, well as much as I could, savoring her and bringing her to release before finally kneeling before her, covering my cock in the condom and pulling her towards me.

I positioned myself right at her entrance and groaned because of the heat emanating from her. "I can…" I was about to say before Bella interrupted me.

"If you even try to mutter some shit about how you can stop, I might need to find Charlie's shotgun." I nodded in response and moved myself against her, slowly sheathing myself in her tight pussy.

"Oh fuck… so fucking perfect and tight," I forced out as I rocked my body against hers slowly at first. With a few more tentative thrusts, I was moving inside of her at more a rapid pace. I glanced over at the clock on her nightstand and saw that we had only fifteen minutes before we had to leave, so I began to press my thumb against her clit, trying to get her to come as I was holding back my own release until she came again.

"Edward," Bella choked out as I noticed her back arching off the bed and she shuddered around me.

"That's right baby, come for me," I pleaded as she let out another loud call of my name and I fell over the edge, coming deep inside of her with a loud grunt and several short thrusts. "Fuck."

"Are you okay?" she questioned as I bent forward and grasped her face in my hands, kissing her passionately.

"I am fucking perfect, but we have to get cleaned up and dressed. I don't think my parents or the Chief will take too kindly to us getting busted at school for being late," I said remorsefully as I kissed her again and then hopped off of the bed, grabbing my boxers and jeans off the floor. "By the way, no skirt. I don't want you getting sick. Keep the Jersey for Game Day on Thursday. We're playing La Push and I want everyone there to know you are mine."

Bella laughed as she climbed from her bed and strolled into her closet to find something else to wear. "Don't you mean you want Jacob to know I'm yours?" she called as I tossed the condom in the trash can of her bedroom and began to get dressed again, almost as quickly as I had undressed.

"Yeah, something like that," I admitted tentatively. I knew Jacob played defense for the La Push football team and that he would be there, most likely ogling my Bella between plays, so I was planning to do everything I could, short of beating the shit out of him, to let him know she was taken.

"Fine. I'll save the jersey till Thursday, but just so you know, I plan on sleeping in it every night," she called out as she then walked out of the closet wearing a pair of jeans that looked painted on and a tight plaid shirt. I wanted to bend her over the bed and take her all over again.

"That's fine because I plan on sneaking over later and installing a web cam, so I can watch you every night," I explained with a smirk as I walked towards her and wrapped my arms around her. I kissed her lips sweetly and really wanted to tell her how much I loved her, since my heart fucking felt like it would explode if I didn't tell her soon, but I kept quiet. "Thanks for this morning."

"No… thank you. Now let's get out of here before the shit hits the fan." Bella grabbed my hand in hers and we went down the stairs to her living room. I grabbed her book bag as she put her coat on and we headed out to the Volvo.

When we got to school, I wasn't surprised to see that the parking lot was full and there were virtually no students milling about. The first bell rang and I parked in the back of the lot and Bella and I ran into the school, kissing quickly before heading off to our classes. I didn't see her again until lunch and when she walked in to join us, she looked downright smug.

"I got you a chicken salad and a lemonade," I said to Bella as she sat beside me and kissed me with more passion than she ever had before in public. She wasn't tentative about showing me affection, but suddenly her PDA's seemed to increase tenfold. "Are you alright?"

I noticed as Bella glanced over to the table where Jessica and Lauren were sitting. Bella waved at them with a wide grin and then kissed me again. "Let's just say I think I set Jessica straight about you," she muttered as I looked at her curiously. "The bitch confronted me again after class and I may have let her know that she won't get anywhere near your cock since it's mine now."

"You said that?" I asked incredulously.

"I may have gone into greater detail about our sexual relationship, against my better judgment, but at least she managed to shut the fuck up." I kissed her again and we turned around to avoid the eyes of the other people in the cafeteria and began to eat our lunch in silence until Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice strolled in.

"Well, if it isn't the sneaky lovers," said Jasper as he sat down across from us. I was about to comment rudely to him, but since he had driven over to my house yesterday to rescue Bella, I decided to keep my pie hole shut.

"Yeah well, at least he's getting some," added Emmett as Rosalie smacked him upside the back of the head.

"Maybe if you weren't such a crass jackass and actually kept your mouth shut for once, I would give it up," remarked Rosalie as we all looked at them with wide eyes. "Dipshit here came over to meet my parents on the weekend and told my mother she had great tits. Can you believe that shit?" We all burst out laughing, with the exception of Rosalie who looked like she might shank a fucker.

"In my defense, she had just had a boob job and they were very perky. I was complementing the doctor more than I was complimenting her," said Emmett as Rosalie narrowed her eyes at him. No matter what he said, it wasn't helping him.

"I suggest keeping your mouth shut," said Bella to Emmett as he nodded his head at her and then began to eat the slice of pizza in front of him.

Health class went by way too fast for my liking and before I realize it, school was over. I had to head home to suffer through my grounding and I was dreading leaving Bella. "They didn't take your cell phone right? We can still talk even though we can't be together?" she inquired as I led her towards my car. I was still allowed to drive her to and from school, thank god, but that was the extent of it.

"Yeah. I'll probably call you the moment I get home. Is phone sex an option?"

"Are you that horny?"

"Around you? I'm always fucking horny," I declared as I pushed her against the passenger door of the Volvo and began kissing her with an intensity I had never felt before. My hands were all over her thighs and ass and I even heard a few catcalls and whistles from some of the other students in the parking lot, but I didn't give a shit.

"Call me an hour after you drop me off and we'll see what we can do about that," Bella replied as I pressed her palm against my hard on and I groaned. I opened the passenger door for her and we drove back to her house in silence, our hands entwined the entire time. I gave Bella a gentle kiss before she got out of the car and ran up the steps into her house. Once I knew she was safe behind the doors, I headed home, not exactly eager to spend my first Monday afternoon without her in over two months.

**A/N: Don't forget to check out the Naughty Heels Anonymous 80's one-shot contest. They are listed as one of my fav authors, so you can find a link there and check out the entries, voting is already on round 3. **

**And then go check out Marked by ARenee363 and Seeing Their Future by kikikinz, cause I'm a whore like that. Tell em CPW sent ya.**


	17. My Epic Mistake

**A/N: Okay, I don't have much to say. Thanks for all the fuckawesome support from your fabulous readers on this and my other stories. You guys make me giddy like a fat kid in a candy store.**

**Not to play favorites, but I love my beta, MaggieMay14, my pre-readers beegurl13, flightlessbird11 and my luvah, Risbee! To all the girls over on twitter who encourage my madness, my psychiatrist hates you.**

**How about we go onto the madness? I don't own Twilight, but I am enjoying a piece of Maple Fudge and wishing I was lying in bed sleeping.**

**BPOV**

November was agonizing at best. Between Edward's football games, projects for school and me taking on babysitting jobs so that I could afford a decent Christmas gift for Edward, I was exhausted.

Today was the day before Thanksgiving break and Esme and Carlisle had decided to give Edward a slight reprieve for good behavior. He had apparently begged his parents to let him out for the night so that he could take me to dinner, citing his perfect behavior over the past few weeks. However, Edward and I both knew this was far from the truth.

Edward and I managed far more time together than his parents had known. They grounded him to try and teach him some responsibility, but the only thing Edward learned was each curve, dimple, birthmark and imperfection on my body.

"_Where is this scar from?" Edward asked one morning before school. He had gone down on me and refused reciprocation, insisting instead on memorizing my body in case our parents caught wind of us breaking their rules and we were both grounded._

"_Umm, nowhere," I replied casually as he continued to stroke my knee, where the faint mark lied._

"_I call bullshit," Edward retorted as I let out a groan, unwilling to explain the incident fully to him. "Come on baby, if you don't tell me, I'll just be forced to tickle it out of you." Edward raised his hands into a claw position and moved towards my hips as I struggled to pull away from him._

"_Alright," I stammered breathlessly as I pulled away and sat up, with my back against my headboard. "In the second grade, an obnoxious ass of a boy pushed me off the tall slide at the playground at Forks Elementary. It was the old metal death trap that they ended up taking down the next year after Renee complained. She was pretty fucking livid when I cut my knee on the bottom edge and needed five stitches," I said, immediately regretting mentioning my mother._

"_That was you?"_

"_Yeah, that me," I replied, channeling my inner Long Duck Dong from one of my favorite movies of all time, Sixteen Candles._

"_But if you know that…" started Edward as I he sat up in bed across from me and began to run his hands through his hair. He was anxious._

"_I know you were the one who pushed me Edward," I said as he tried to interrupt me but I held up my hand to silence him. "You were seven, so I don't hold it against you. It took a few years for you not to be an insufferable ass though."_

"_I'm sorry," he said stoically as he leaned forward and kissed the mark remorsefully. Unfortunately, the alarm clock on my nightstand went off, signaling that we had to get ready to get to school and we never finished our conversation._

As we walked out of health class, Edward was practically glued to my side. "So, I will be over at six to pick you up. Esme is being generous and letting me stay out till eleven."

"Do you think she is just allowing you to do this so that you can help her tomorrow?" I asked curiously.

"Well, I might have promised to help do the dishes, set the table, clean out the turkey and do almost every imaginable chore related to Thanksgiving, but it will be worth it to spend some extra time with you," he said genuinely as he entwined his fingers in mine and we made our way out to the parking lot.

The past month at school had been fairly low key. Jessica and I had only had one more run in, one Monday morning in the girls' bathroom, but thankfully we were interrupted by Mrs. Cope before things went too far. She tried to tell me that Edward snuck over to her place on the weekend, which I knew was a bold-faced lie because if he wasn't sneaking over to see me, he was stuck at home with his mother. I was in the process of calling her out when Mrs. Cope walked in, looking at the two of us wide-eyed.

"So, are you going to tell me what we are doing tonight?"

"Where would the fun be in that?" Edward inquired as he opened the passenger door to the Volvo for me and I climbed in, getting comfortable by the time he finally sat down in his seat. "Let's just say you shouldn't worry about dressing too warm. We'll be inside."

The entire ride back to my house was fairly silent; Edward's hand firmly entrenched between my legs as he drove. When he pulled into the driveway, we made out for several minutes before I finally pulled away and ran into the house. My first stop was my closet to find something that would be somewhat revealing for our date, since it seemed like we weren't going to have sex, I might as well tease him. Edward had to be home by eleven, so we would only have five hours together, which included a meal of some sort, so I was desperate to make the most of the time we had together.

I ended up picking out a blue and white plaid shirt with a ruffle front that had a deep v neck and showed 'the girls' nicely in the black push up bra I was wearing. I also put on my favorite pair of jeans over the black panties that matched the bra and slipped into my favorite pair of sneakers. I pulled my hair back in a low ponytail and by the time Edward showed up to get me, I was completely dressed, all my homework for the weekend was done and Charlie was pacing nervously by the door.

"You will be back before midnight right?" he asked me as I bounced down the stairs and Charlie opened the front door for Edward, who stood there looking simply delicious in a grey t-shirt, jeans and a black hoodie.

"Don't you have a coat son? It's November in Washington, its cold," chastised Charlie as he gave Edward the once over and then reached for my coat from the rack, thrusting it at me, as though I would apparently forget it.

"It's in the car Chief Swan," Edward said formally as he waited for me to put on my coat. "I'll have her home before eleven, Chief. My mother is insisting that I get home early so I can help her with Thanksgiving tomorrow."

"Well, alright then." Charlie gave Edward a quick handshake and once he thought I was sufficiently dressed for the weather, he wished us a good night and we practically ran down the porch steps to the Volvo.

We drove into Port Angeles and stopped at a small café for dinner. It was only eight when we left and I was a little surprised when we headed over to the regular movie theatre.

"We're going to a movie? You felt like you had to hide this from me?" I laughed as I noticed a lot of kids from school were milling about outside but Edward effectively ignored them as he bought our tickets for Law Abiding Citizen with Gerard Butler and Jamie Foxx. It was rated R, but thankfully Edward and I were both 18, so there was no issue with us being allowed in the theatre.

"Would you have been disappointed if you knew that we were coming here?" he asked anxiously as we walked into the theatre.

"No. You know I would be happy going anywhere with you."

There was still had half an hour till the movie started, so I went to grab us some good seats at the back of the theatre and Edward bought some snacks; popcorn for him and Reeses' Pieces for me. As we sat in our chairs, we aimlessly talked about our Thanksgiving memories, most of mine having to do with spending time with Charlie, Billy & Jacob. Since Renee had left, I didn't have a lot of memories of times spent with her. If I was being honest with myself, I was probably forcing all memories of her away so that I didn't have to think about her.

"Are you making the Turkey tomorrow?" asked Edward as I nodded my head and he casually slipped his arm over my shoulder, pulling me close to him. A few kids from our school made their way, looking towards Edward and me, but we ignored them completely. "Is it just for you and Charlie?"

"No, Billy and Jacob are coming over too."

"Oh. So you get to spend the whole day with Jacob?" he asked cautiously. I had known for a while that he was wary of Jacob, and no matter how much I tried to reassure him that Jacob was not a threat, he didn't seem to believe me.

"Not the whole day. The usually come over around two and the guys watch football. Sometimes Jacob helps me finish things up and set the table, but I usually run the show," I said casually, trying to make him realize how simple everything really was going to be. There was no major alone time for Jacob and me and there would definitely be no flirting.

"Oh."

The previews started on the movie, so our conversation was quickly shelved, but I couldn't help but notice Edward glance down at me a few times during the movie. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking, but I also didn't want to sound like a nagging girlfriend, so I kept my mouth shut and focused on the screen in front of me.

Halfway through the movie, I felt Edward's hand move against the inside of my thigh and I shuddered anxiously. I didn't know what the hell to do, so I didn't do anything, until I felt Edward use both his hands to move my thighs apart.

"What are you doing?" I whispered into his ear as his hand moved up further to cup my crotch.

"This movie is boring, so I thought I would do something to entertain myself," he said breathily as I then felt his fingers stroking me up and down against the seam of my jeans. They were pressing fairly hard and I was getting wetter with each pass of his fingers. "You don't mind do you?"

"N-n-nooo, " I stuttered out as Edward then put his lips against my neck as his fingers began moving in a circular motion against me. I felt a little tentative about doing this, but we were in a dark theatre and there was no one in the back row with us, so I figured I should stop worrying and just enjoy it.

"Spread your legs more baby," whispered Edward, as I did what he asked of me and pressed my knees against the arms of the chair, while my feet rested flat on the floor. There was no way I could open then anymore without being on my back or lifting my knees onto the arm rests. Sadly, that wasn't an option tonight. "That's my girl."

I nodded slowly as the person sitting in front of us turned around and gave us the evil eye. Of course, we simply looked like we were watching the movie like any normal couple. Of course, the older gentleman had no idea that Edward was trying like hell to get me off. As his fingers worked their magic against the fabric, I found myself biting down on my lip and closing my eyes as I reveled in the ecstasy he was trying to bring me. The unmistakable sound of a zipper being lowered pulled me from my thoughts.

"What are you doing now?" I asked as I looked down and noticed Edward's hand was trying to make its way into my jeans. I was a little shocked and my hands gripped the arm rests and his nimble fingers found my clit. "Fuck," I said through clenched teeth as the guy two rows in front of us turned around again.

"Sorry, that was a little scary," I said as I pointed at the screen and he quickly turned around, looking really pissed at us for interrupting the movie.

"You need to be quiet," whispered Edward as I nodded my head and he pressed his finger against me again. With each motion, I found myself clenching my hands and wishing we were alone somewhere so that I could scream out loud. His fingers were like electricity on me and it was fucking fantastic.

Just as a loud bomb sounded out in the movie, I fell over the edge and came undone, panting manically as my entire body shivered. "You are so fucking hot when you come," Edward whispered again as his mouth became firmly planted on my neck and he began sucking like crazy. I had no idea what happened in the rest of the movie and we were the last people to leave the theatre when it did finally end. I couldn't have been happier.

The next morning around ten, I found myself wrists deep in pie crust as I prepared my traditional pumpkin pie. My turkey was already stuffed and in the oven for a pre-cook, and I was struggling to find the time to prepare everything I needed, when the phone rang.

I could hear Charlie chatting happily in the other room and when he came in to join me five minutes later, he was grinning from ear to ear. "What's got you as giddy as a fat kid in a candy store with a hundred dollar bill?" I asked, quoting something Jasper had said to me earlier in the week.

"Billy and Jacob are coming over a little earlier than usual. There's a game they want to watch on the flat screen," he announced and I smiled in response. It would be nice to see them again, but it certainly wasn't as exciting as Charlie seemed to think.

"That's great," I said casually as Charlie noticed the pie batter sitting to the side and he went to dip his finger in it. "Hands off old man," I said I slapped his hand fiercely.

"Fine," he muttered dejectedly as I decided to throw a couple of gingerbread cookies, which I had made earlier in the week, his way instead. "You are the best Bells." Charlie walked off a few moments later and I pulled the turkey out of the oven and replaced it with the pie.

I kept busy for the next half hour and was in the process of cutting up potatoes for mashed potatoes when Billy and Jacob walked in. As per usual, Billy went right into the living room and Jacob saddled over to the counter and sat down on it, taking up half of my preparation space. "Would you mind removing your ass from my counter?" I said nicely as Jacob quirked his eye brow at me.

"I would consider it for a kiss," he said slyly as I rolled my eyes at him and turned my back to finish with the potatoes, not willing to acquiesce to his request. I could hear him hop off of the counter and Jacob was about to wish I wasn't holding a knife when I felt his hands on my hips and body pressed against my ass.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" I said quietly, not wanting to alarm our fathers. I did however, raise my knife to him as I attempted to threaten him. Thankfully, the phone rang a moment later and I was quick to answer it. "Swan house, Happy Thanksgiving."

"Bella?" I heard Edward say as I saw Jacob move towards me and I raised the knife and shook it towards Jacob to keep him away. "I need a huge favor baby."

"What's wrong Edward?" I asked as I narrowed my eyes at Jacob, who shoved his finger down his throat and pretended to throw up now that he knew Edward was on the phone. There was definitely no love lost between the two of them, but I didn't care. I was friends with Jacob and in love with Edward. If they couldn't handle it, it was too bad for the both of them.

"I kinda ruined my mom's turkey. Would we be able to come over to your house?" he asked, sounding panicked. I could hear what sounded like a fire alarm going off in the background and immediately became alarmed.

"What happened to your dinner babe?" I asked curiously as I then heard Carlisle yell something about batteries which made me laugh.

"I'll tell you about it later, that's if you let us come over for dinner," he said sweetly as I looked at Jacob who looked downright disappointed because he knew what I was about to say.

"Sure, Edward. There's plenty of turkey to go around."

**EPOV**

I felt like shit, but I didn't care. The moment Bella told me that Jacob would be spending Thanksgiving Day with her, I started formulating a plan. Unfortunately, my mother's delicious looking dinner was going to take the brunt of the pain for this mission, since I may have accidently set the oven to broil an hour after she put the turkey in. When I called Bella and she quickly told me my family was more than welcome at her house, I knew I would have to get my mother an epic Christmas gift to make up for my fuckery.

"Okay, so Bella and Charlie are welcoming us to dinner with open arms. We have to be there at four," I stated as I watched my mother hose down her turkey in the kitchen sink while my father attempted to fan at the fire alarm with a dish rag to get the thing to stop beeping. It was hilarious as hell, but I couldn't let my parents know that.

"Thanks hon," said my mother remorsefully. "I feel so bad for screwing up this day. All I have ready is an apple pie. Do you think I should bring it with us?" The look on my mother's face was one of complete heartbreak and I felt even worse.

"I'm sure she would love it. I would kinda prefer to get over there earlier than four since I haven't been able to see Bella much in the past few weeks," I said with a small shrug of my shoulders.

"I think you've seen enough of Bella lately, Edward," said my father sounding downright smug as he made another insinuation about our sex life.

"Can we please not discuss the sex thing with Charlie? His friend Billy and his son Jacob will be there and I really don't think Thanksgiving is the time to mention it," I said genuinely as my mother nodded her head but my father looked skeptic.

"Bella told Charlie about it all right?"

"Yeah," I lied cheerfully. "I just don't think we should discuss the fact that I have sexual relations with his daughter over dinner."

"Don't you mean 'had'? asked my mother, her eyes wide with trepidation as I nodded my head furiously as I tried to back track.

"Yes, I mean had. Bella and I haven't done it since the last time." That was not a lie, since Bella and I hadn't done it since Tuesday morning before school. _That was the last time_. My parents finally seemed to ease up and as they cleaned the mess I made out of jealousy, I ran upstairs to take a shower and pick out something respectable to wear. I had to look like a good guy in front of Chief Swan.

At just before three, I found myself fidgeting nervously on the porch in front of Bella's house as my mother clutched onto her apple pie for dear life. "Are you sure this is alright Edward?" she asked as I rang the door bell, bouncing with excitement to not only see her but to get Jacob away from her.

"Do you think Bella would invite us if it wasn't?" I asked incredulously.

"Well, you kinda invited us," said Carlisle as I rolled my eyes in response. "Although it will be nice to see the Chief again. It's been a long time." I quirked my eye brow at my father for a moment, but then smiled brightly when the door opened and there stood my beautiful girlfriend wearing an apron with a picture of a nervous looking turkey on it saying 'I'm naked, stuffed and basted, this can't be good.' I let out a small giggle as Bella hugged me, my hands fighting against my brain as they wanted to reach out and grab her ass.

"Dr. & Mrs. Cullen, I am so glad you could join us tonight. I am so sorry to hear about your dinner," said Bella sounding very excited that we were all here.

"I brought you the only thing that survived, a homemade apple pie," said my mother as she handed it to Bella who lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Thanks so much Mrs. Cullen," she replied as my mother quickly corrected her and asked her to call her Esme. My father, of course, didn't budge and never mentioned that Bella could call him Carlisle, which I thought was a dick move. Charlie strolled in a minute later and took all of our coats as he thanked us for coming, which I thought was funny as hell.

My parents then went into the living room with Charlie to join Billy and watch the football game. My mother wanted to help Bella in the kitchen, but I assured her I had it covered and she finally relented, much to my relief. I was really looking forward to feeling up my girlfriend as I helped her make dinner. That was until I saw Jacob sitting on the kitchen counter looking like a smug son of a bitch.

"Just so you know baby, I would love to see you naked, stuffed and basted right about now," I whispered quietly to her as we walked into the room, my hands on her hips as I rubbed my hard on against her ass slightly. Thankfully, Bella found this pretty funny and she simply turned her head to kiss my cheek and mouthed 'maybe later'.

"Jacob, Happy Thanksgiving," I said lamely as I offered him my hand to shake. I had to at least appear like I didn't want to snap his neck like a twig right?

"Same to you Cullen," he replied as I noticed Bella eyeing him oddly. She didn't seem pleased to have to deal with him on top of everything else and I felt completely out of the loop

"Am I missing something?" I asked curiously. I didn't trust this kid as far as I could throw him, which wouldn't be far since he was so fricking tall.

"Nope, we're just fine right Bells?" he said, his voice sounding sickeningly sweet. Man, I couldn't stand this prick and I suddenly wondered if I would have to burn down Casa de Cullen come Christmas time so I could keep an eye on him while he got to spend Christmas with the Swans. It was obvious that Charlie and Billy were hetero life mates, so I was sure they spent every holiday together, including Arbor Day.

"We will be just fine if you can take your fucking ass off my countertop. I've only asked you like five times since you got here a few hours ago," she retorted, sounding angrier than I had ever seen her before. I wasn't sure if it was the stress of Thanksgiving or Jacob being an ass that had her on edge, so I went over and began to rub her shoulders to soothe her tension.

"How about I help you with the carrots and you relax a little bit babe?"

"How about Jacob gets his big butt off my kitchen counter."

"I told you I would move if you did me one favor Bella," stammered Jacob as he looked at me nervously, apparently already knowing that whatever he said was going to piss me off. "One kiss."

"Over my dead body," I said forcefully as I found myself standing between Bella and Jacob, wanting to punch his lights out. What the fuck was he thinking asking my girl for a kiss with me standing five feet away from him? He either had the biggest set of balls or a death wish.

"She's not yours, Cullen."

"I beg to differ."

"Why do you have to be such a possessive asshole Cullen?" said Jacob as he jumped down from the counter and moved towards me, his eyes dark with fury.

"I'm a possessive asshole? Hell, pot it's kettle… you're black! Ironic, since your last name is Black. Bella is my girlfriend, so stop being so fucking jealous and trying to get in between us," I yelled a little too loudly and Charlie was suddenly in the kitchen, looking like he was going to grab his nightstick and beat the shit out of both of us for disorderly conduct.

"He's still sitting there because I refuse to kiss him," said Bella stoically as her hand found my forearm and she squeezed to try and reassure me. Esme was close on Charlie's heels and seemed disappointed by what she walked in on, which was basically a pissing contest over my girlfriend. "Why don't you boys go watch the game and I will help Bella finish dinner. I've been meaning to talk to her anyways."

"Yes, please get the hell out of my kitchen," Bella scolded as I looked at her eyes and saw the same disenchantment that was in my mothers. I hung my head and dragged my feet into the living room to sit beside my father and watch the game, even though my thoughts were constantly on Bella. I sent her a quick text to apologize and she quickly replied back that's even though she wanted to, she couldn't play favorites today. I knew she wanted me there with her, but she also didn't want to cause a scene. Every so often I would look up at Jacob, who looked very smug. I'm sure he was excited that Bella was mad at me, even though her texts claimed otherwise.

When dinner was finally ready, I was quick to help Bella in the kitchen and get everything to the dining room table. In my infinite wisdom, I managed to save us two seats beside each other, unfortunately, Jacob was on her other side and we were sitting directly across from my parents. When we finally sat down, I put my hand right on Bella's thigh and I felt like I was staking my claim on her. It was pretty fucking juvenile at the time, but I didn't care.

"So, Edward… have you thought about college yet?" asked Charlie as my eyes grew wide. Had my parents discussed with him my plans? Did he know something and was prying for information? I immediately got my defenses up, even though logically, this was a simple question for a senior in high school.

"Yeah… I've got some thoughts," I said cryptically. Of course, being the parents of a high schooler, he was certain to know we had already sent in our applications a few weeks ago. I had applied to Dartmouth, Princeton, NYU and Emory, which is down in Atlanta. I obviously applied to UW, but it wasn't my first choice. Bella glanced over at me, her eyes narrowed and I felt small because we hadn't discussed where either of us had applied. I knew she chose a few community colleges and UW though, because Alice had told Jasper, who had a huge mouth and told me everything Alice ever said to him, verbatim.

"Any majors in mind?" asked Billy, sounding very interested in the conversation, which surprised me. I didn't even know this guy, but here he was, showing interest in my future.

"Medicine," my father piped up as I looked at him with surprise. "What? You always said you wanted to do medicine and I've seen some of your entrance essays." I felt a little upset at my dad for making the comment and assuming medicine was my choice. I was even more upset by the looks I was getting from Bella. Perhaps not telling her about college was going to backfire in my face sooner than I thought.

"Not football Cullen?" added Jacob as I looked over the top of Bella's head and noticed he was smirking at me. I wanted to wipe the smug grin right off of his face, preferably with my fists, but that wasn't going to work at a holiday dinner at my girlfriends' house where things were already tense.

"First of all, you can't major in football genius, but I guess you also didn't hear that I was being scouted by the UW team huh?" I replied smugly. _Fuck you Jacob._

"I thought UW was your last choice?" said my mother casually as I let out a small groan. Why the hell did she have to say THAT? I looked down at Bella and she looked absolutely heartbroken. She turned back to her plate and lowered her head, which allowed me to see Jacob on the other side of her looking even more satisfied than before. Bella didn't even speak, she just continued picking at her dinner and my heart sunk to my toes.

There was no more conversation about my college plans after that.

In fact, the rest of the dinner conversation surrounded my parents talking to Charlie about the good old days, when they were closer friends. I didn't really pay too much attention; I was too busy trying to gauge Bella's emotions. I couldn't exactly talk to her about everything at the dinner table with our family and her friends around, so I decided to talk to her about it when we were clearing the table.

Unfortunately for me, my plan backfired because Charlie insisted on clearing the table as Bella and Esme got the pies ready. When I noticed there was a jar of cranberries left on the table, I quickly snatched them up and practically ran into the kitchen to see Bella.

"I'm sorry," I said sincerely as I put the jar on the counter and she looked at me with red eyes. "Have you been crying?"

"No."

"Edward, can you get the ice cream out of the freezer?" interrupted my mother as I glared at her, but turned my back, catching her hug Bella quickly.

"Can someone tell me what is going on?" I asked as I put the container onto the counter, suddenly not feeling hungry for dessert.

"We're having pie. Now bring those plates to the table." My mother narrowed her eyes at me and looked downright pissed as I reluctantly nodded my head and did as she asked. Everyone else was excited to be having pie, with the exception of Bella and me. I refused dessert and she simply picked at the slice of apple pie she was served by my mother, who looked surprisingly at home in the Swan's house.

Shortly after dessert, my father proceeded to thank Bella and Chief Swan for their hospitality and insisted we had to get going home, which was the last thing I wanted to do. I needed more time to talk to her. I followed my parents to the door and when they were putting on their coats, I cornered Bella out on the patio.

"You are mad at me."

"You're very perceptive Edward. Why didn't you tell me that you didn't want to go to UW?" she inquired as I noticed her hands fidgeting with the edge of her shirt. She looked cold and was shivering slightly. I stepped forward, intending to wrap my arms around her but she backed away and held up her hand. "Where did you apply?

I reluctantly listed the names of the schools and watched her entire face fall and her shoulders slump. She looked defeated. "I might not get into any of those places, or you can always come with me," I pleaded, grasping at straws at this point.

"I can't go with you Edward because I didn't apply to any of those places, or anywhere near those places, with the exception of UW, which I probably won't even go to since I won't be able to afford it. You should have been honest with me." I saw her quickly brush her hands against her cheek and I knew she was wiping away a tear.

"I'm so fucking sorry," I muttered sadly as I tried to move forward again but the front door opened and out walked my parents, who clearly had the worst timing known to man. They both thanked Bella again for a lovely dinner and walked to the car, watching and waiting for me to make a move.

"You should go home. Your parents are waiting for you."

"I'll call you when I get home okay? I need to talk to you."

"I don't think that's a good idea," she said sadly as I looked through the front door and saw Jacob pacing anxiously, a huge smile on his face. _Smug fucking prick_. "I also don't think it's a good idea if you pick me up on Monday morning. I'll see you at school." Bella turned on her heel and walked into the house, closing the door tight behind her.

_I was officially fucked in the worst way possible._

**A/N: Don't hate me. **

**I promise in the next chapter I will have a flashback to the conversation between Esme and Bella in the kitchen after the 'pissing contest.' **

**So, while you are waiting and getting mad at me, why don't you head on over to www . picffcorner . blogspot . com and check out their interviews, recommendations and what not. This week is 'Inked / Marked' week, with the uberfabulous and sexy ARenee363!**

**Oh and here's a great rec for you: Late Night Encounters by Kyla13. So f'in hot. I'm in love with cyber-smexing Edward. LOL**


	18. My Best Friends Parents Bed

**A/N: Okay, so first of all, I have decided to auction off my writing skills in the fandom gives back author auction that starts in mid November. I'm offering up three one shots, either new ones or outtakes from one of my various stories. Go check out www . thefandomgivesback . com for more information. My partner in smut, flightlessbird11, will be offering her banner services, and you can check out my profile for some of her epic work! I will be keeping you posted via my blog, so please consider donating or buying the services of one of the many authors and artists, cause all the money goes to an excellent cause, Alex's Lemonade Stand.**

**Sorry this update has taken so long to get out, if you follow my other stories, you know I have been working diligently on American Boy, which I hope to update again next week.**

**Big thanks to the usual crew, MaggieMay14 for her epic beta skills, flightlessbird11 & beegurl13 for their pre-reading help and advice and Risbee, for just being Risbee.**

**Let's get to it shall we? I don't own Twilight, but MaggieMay14 has my ticket for New Moon!**

**BPOV**

Monday morning couldn't come fast enough for me and when Rosalie and Alice walked in the front door at six thirty, they could sense that something was wrong. I chalked it up to the fact that we had been friends since we basically came out of the womb and didn't think anything further, although I suppose my forlorn look could have had something to do with it. I hadn't bothered to call them earlier in the weekend to unload my problems on them since they both had family in town for Thanksgiving.

"What happened?" asked Alice as we all went up to my bedroom and she immediately started to sort through my closet. For the past few weeks she had granted me the ability to pick out my own clothes since she had thought I was improving in my fashion decisions, but she clearly didn't feel I was in the right frame of mind this morning. I would probably have decided to head to school in sweatpants and an old hoodie, much to her dismay. "Did your dad catch Edward climbing into your window to give you the big 'O'?" I let out a small snort, followed by a laugh and was relieved that wasn't the case at all.

"Was your date on Wednesday a bust?" questioned Rosalie, as she laid down on my bed in her pajamas, her hands behind her head, the knapsack containing her change of clothes was resting on the floor beside her. She usually only took five minutes to get dressed and always looked impeccable; I was envious.

"No, our date was the best part of the weekend actually," I admitted as Alice held up a skirt from the closet and I instantly veto'd it. I wanted to discuss my concerns with them, but I didn't want to outright say that Edward had lied to me and I was heartbroken about it. If I really wanted to overanalyze everything,, then I was also guilty of withholding information from Edward. Unfortunately, I didn't find my information to be as important as his was. I know, I was being a hypocrite, but I didn't give a shit at the time. "Have you girls thought about your life with the boys after high school?"

Alice came out of the closet again, this time clutching one of Edward's hoodies that I had stolen from him and she sat beside Rosalie on the bed, both of them giving me a sympathetic look. "Em is being recruited by UW, so he wants to go there most of all. If we both get in, I suppose that's where we'll go."

I looked towards Alice, eager to hear what she had to say about her future with Jasper. "Jazz and I have talked about it at great length," she admitted and I felt a bit remorseful that Edward and I hadn't talked discussed it at all. It seemed like we were too busy exploring our bodies than worrying about our future. Did Edward not discuss this with me because he felt like we didn't have a future? Was I more serious about him than he was about me? "Jazz knows he won't be able to afford any of the major universities, unless he can find a decent job soon. He's optimistic though, but we've decided to do the long distance thing if I get in somewhere and he doesn't. Why the questions about college? Surely you and Edward have discussed your desire to stay near Forks right?"

I shook my head in the negative as my best friends looked at me with surprise. Their small smiles turned into frowns as I spoke. "Apparently his mom tried to burn down the house or something on the Thanksgiving Day so Edward and his parents came over for dinner. I found out during casual dinner conversation that Edward applied to schools like Emory and Dartmouth. I applied to UW, Antioch, Peninsula College and South Seattle Community College. He's not staying around unless everyone rejects him but UW, and I'm not leaving."

"Did he say he was definitely leaving?" asked Rosalie curiously as I shook my head slightly. "Well, if those words didn't fall from his lips, don't you think you should ask first?"

"His mom said that UW was his last choice, even though he was being recruited by their football team too," I admittedly sadly as I sat down at the chair at my desk and recalled for them briefly my conversation with Esme.

"_Bella, would you like help getting those plates?" Esme asked sweetly, as we walked into the kitchen. I was fighting back tears from the newfound knowledge that Edward wasn't planning to stay around Forks when he graduated. I don't think I had really taken into consideration what we would be doing when school ended several months from now._

"_I think I have them," I admitted softly as I bent down to put some of the dirty plates Charlie had brought from the table into the sink and took a moment to wipe my eyes._

"_Honey, I have known you for a very long time," said Esme as she came up behind me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "So, I am going to be brutally honest with you. I have never seen my son as happy as he has been these past two months with you." The tears started to come more forcefully as I listened to Esme speak, my heart breaking even more. "The way he smiles when you call or when he comes home from dropping you off… he practically lights up the room. Love like that doesn't just go away because one of you goes off to school. Sure things might be tough, but you have lived through tougher situations than this."_

_I nodded my head at Esme, because she knew firsthand how bad things had been when I was younger. How much my life was destroyed with Renee left, and how much she had helped me get over everything. Esme, for a period of time, was like the mother I always wanted. "I just don't want him to go," I admitted ruefully. I felt like a bitch for being so selfish, but I had so little time with Edward already, I didn't want him to leave._

"_Just because he's physically gone, doesn't mean he will be gone from your heart Bella. Carlisle and I were high school sweethearts who were apart for three years before finally getting married and settling down. I wouldn't have changed things though, because they brought us to where we are now," she said with a small smile as she pulled me into a huge hug. "There's still the chance Edward will go to UW."_

"_I don't want him to go there because he feels like he should, or out of obligation to me," I admitted as Edward walked into the kitchen, effectively putting an end to our conversation._

"_I'm sorry," he said genuinely as I watched him put a jar down on the counter. "Have you been crying?"_

"_No," I lied as Esme looked at me with slightly narrowed eyes._

"_Edward, can you get the ice cream out of the freezer?" requested Esme as Edward stared at the two of us. When Edward turned his back, Esme pulled me into another hug and quickly whispered to me. "Lying is the worst thing you can do to your relationship."_

"_Can someone tell me what is going on?" Edward asked as he slid the container of ice cream along the counter towards his mother. He looked almost as heartbroken as I felt._

"_We're having pie. Now bring those plates to the table," snapped Esme as she pointed to the stack of plates and we both watched as Edward stormed from the room with them. "I think if you and Edward just be honest with one another, things will turn out better than you can imagine."_

"_Thanks Esme," I said gratefully as she helped me slice up the pies and we went to head back to the dining room before she stopped me._

"_Bella, I know he has been sneaking out to see you at night, and I promise I won't tell Charlie about this however, I hope you guys are being careful," she whispered lowly and my eyes grew wide when she realized she was discussing sex. _

"_Oh my god Esme, no. I mean… shit… I mean yes, we are being careful, but he hasn't been sneaking over for that. I'm sorry for cursing; you just caught me off guard. Are you mad that he is sneaking over?" I asked, hoping that no one was coming towards the kitchen and could overhear us._

"_I'm not mad. That's what you do when you are in love. You disregard everything else to be with that person," she said wistfully, as though she thought it was romantic. "I'm not happy he is doing it, but hell, he's so much happier when he's around you, I can't find it in me to stop him."_

"_Thanks," I muttered as Charlie strolled in, looking at us curiously._

"_Did you have to bake new pies?" he asked with a gruff laugh as Esme gave me one final hug and we headed back into the dining room for the rest of the Thanksgiving from Hell._

Alice and Rosalie stared at me with wide eyes when I finally finished speaking. I looked over at the clock and rushed into my closet to pick out a simple pair of jeans and a sweater, not really caring how I looked. It was getting too late in the morning to be picky. "So, his mom said it was okay if he was sneaking over here and basically told you that Edward was in love with you."

"Yup."

"Did Edward call to apologize for being a douche?" asked Rosalie as I nodded my head.

"I have gotten like 5 emails from him and at least a dozen text messages. Don't even get me started on the phone messages I got. Each one more asinine, with him basically begging me not to do anything stupid with Jacob," I said as Alice slipped on her clothes for the day and then forced me into a seat to begin working on my hair.

"What the hell does Jake have to do with this?" questioned Rosalie, who was already done putting the final touches on herself. She sat on the edge of my bed, her fingers drumming nervously on her knee impatiently.

"He was here on Thursday, like usual. Every holiday is spent with the Blacks', you guys know this. Jake was being a complete jerk and tried to get me to kiss him in front of Edward, which led to a pissing contest between the two of them. As much as I generally like Jake, he's become an utter asshole since I started dating Edward," I admitted as I let out a low groan. Alice was putting a high ponytail in my hair and was pulling a little too roughly for my liking.

"Jake is just jealous," stated Alice as I saw Rosalie's reflection in the mirror nodding in agreement. "He's wanted you since like the eighth grade when he asked you to the formal down on the Rez. It kinda makes me laugh how oblivious you are to all of it."

"Edward's not oblivious to it. No wonder he left you so many messages," commented Rosalie as Alice patted my shoulder signaling that she was done. "Okay, we need to get going since I promised Emmett we would meet early at the school to make out for a bit. We hardly saw each other over the long weekend thanks to my stupid family."

"I'm going with you girls." Both of them looked at me, their jaws wide open in astonishment. It had been several weeks since I had driven to school with them in Rosalie's big truck and I was kinda looking forward to more girl time with them. "I told Edward not to pick me up. It's sort of his punishment for not telling me about college."

"Bella, what are you doing? All the girls at school are going to see him come in alone and assume he's single. They will be on him like stink on shit. You know how these girls are," she stated as I smacked my hand against my face in remorse. "I understand how you are mad at him, but you never told him about college either, so I think it's wrong of you to punish him. You better wait outside the school and stake your claim on him before Lauren or anyone else sees him alone."

"Should I bring Charlie's rifle, to scare off the bitches?" I asked with a laugh as Rosalie and Alice both looked at me, their eyes completely serious.

"It's not a bad idea," they both said in unison before we all laughed and ran down the stairs to grab our coats and get into Rosalie's truck. The ride to school wasn't as nice as it was with Edward, but it was enjoyable none the less. Talking to the girls about their own boy problems made me see just how good I had it with Edward. He wasn't pressuring me for sex like Em and Rosalie, who seemed to do it every ten minutes, nor was he adventurous like Jasper was with Alice. He had taken her to a monster truck rally the week before Thanksgiving and she was completely out of her element, but he enjoyed himself, so she claimed it was worthwhile.

When we pulled into the parking lot, I wasn't surprised to see Lauren and Lisa hanging over the side of Edward's car, as he stood there looking around anxiously, for what I hoped was me. "What are you going to say to him?" questioned Alice, as we hopped down from the truck and I stood nervously watching Edward.

"Um hi, I'm a complete fucking idiot, wanna come over later and fuck? Does that work?" I asked them as Emmett strolled over, his eyes dark as he stared at Rosalie. They didn't even speak to one another, simply entwined their hands together and marched off, leaving me with Alice to offer her advice.

"That works, but I think you should scare away the bitches first," she added as Jasper bounded over and swept her up into his arms, swinging her around like she weighed nothing at all. I hung my head in shame and walked towards Edward's car, fidgeting with the strap on my backpack the entire way.

"So, if you and Bella have broken up, does that mean you are free after school?" I heard Lauren ask him as I stepped closer to the car. She could clearly see me approaching them and didn't care. She leaned forward and whispered something into his ear that clearly angered Edward.

"Bella and I are not fucking broken up. Is it against the rules for her to drive to school with her friends instead of me?" he shouted at her, calling to attention almost the entire school, with the exception of our four friends, who were most likely sucking face in a darkened corner of the school. When he turned around to look away from Lauren, he was surprised to see me there.

"Umm… hi. Can you please confirm for them and me, that we are still together," Edward requested tentatively as he pointed towards the skanks that were beside the Volvo. Instead of saying anything to him, I moved closer and cupped his face in my hands, kissing him passionately. His hands immediately found purchase on my ass and he lifted me slowly and pressed me against the car, both of us giving in to our emotions. By the time we parted several minutes later, the girls were gone.

"I'm so sorry," we both uttered at the same time, which resulted in us laughing happily, which was something I hadn't done in days. "I'm sorry I overreacted. It's not your fault. Neither of us discussed our plans for college to each other, so I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I was just frustrated that I didn't know and having Jacob there made everything worse."

"You didn't umm… do anything…" began Edward as I let out a small snort which made him laugh even harder.

"Do you honestly think I would want anyone other than you? I mean, I was upset and all, but I never stopped lo… caring about you," I said as I caught myself. I was about to admit to him that I was in love with him, but I pulled back. I didn't want the moment I told him that I loved him to be outside of his car while waiting for first period to begin.

"Thank the fucking lord. When you weren't answering any of my calls, emails or texts, I started to think the worst. You have no idea some of the vomit inducing thoughts that went through my mind these past few days," Edward said genuinely as he wrapped his arms tight around me, holding me to his chest. "I care about you too and I'm sorry I didn't mention anything sooner. I was kinda scared shitless to tell you and because it never came up, I just decided not to mention it."

The bell rang signaling that we should be getting our asses to class, but Edward and I didn't move. "After school, we need to sit down and tell each other everything about college. Okay?" I asked solemnly and Edward nodded his head before bending down to kiss me gently. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, especially since my parents told me I was off grounding and I was actually free to come see you, but you wouldn't let me," he said quietly as his lips then found purchase against my neck. I wanted to continue on the road which we were going the moment his hands gripped my ass, but then we heard one of the teachers clear their voice, bringing us back to reality. "After school, you are mine."

Sure enough, when we got back to my house after school, Edward and I sat down and discussed our plans. He explained that he's wanted to get out Forks for the longest time, because he simply felt stifled, which I could understand. He told me that he had made these decisions long before he and I had become exclusive, so I really couldn't fault him for that. Edward did seem more than a little disappointed when I told him that I just couldn't up and leave my dad. When I listed off the schools I had applied to, he seemed downright shocked.

"You are so much better than those schools Bella," he said as he wrapped me into a tight embrace, my back against his chest as I felt his breathe on my neck. It felt perfect sitting there with him.

"Unfortunately, I won't get any scholarships, not with my slightly decent grades and lack of extracurricular activities. Do you think I can count getting my hair done by Alice every morning as a sport?" Edward let out a small laugh, but I was glad he could see where I was coming from. Charlie simply couldn't afford the tuition at a major school and I needed my dad nearby.

Edward and I decided to simply let the chips fall where they may, and if we ended up apart, we would make it. Somehow, we would make it.

**EPOV**

That week, life as we knew it seemed to go back to normal. Bella and I spent time together, before, during and after school and we seemed to get back on track. Thankfully, my parents had given me a reprieve from the grounding because on Friday night, Jasper was having a party.

"Where are your parents going anyways?" questioned Emmett during lunch as we sat around discussing the party. Apparently the moment that Alice heard Jasper's folks were going to be away, she took it as an invitation to throw a party. Thankfully for her, Jasper didn't give a shit.

"They are heading to Texas to see my grandma who is on her death bed or something like that," he uttered coolly as my eye brows perked up quizzically. "I don't know her that well, so I get to stay home." A few guys from the football team wandered by a moment later, and Jasper quickly took a moment to invite them to the party. Virtually everyone in the school had been invited, with a few glaring omissions; Lauren, Jessica and Lisa had all be left out.

"Where did you guys get the booze from?" I asked as Bella snaked her hand around my waist and pulled me closer to her. Ever since we had our fight about college, we had both been a lot more attentive and loving. I couldn't help but think that it was only chalked up to the fact that neither of us was really coping with what was going to be an obvious separation. In my brain, I knew that she would be staying and I would be going, but telling my heart was something else altogether.

"Em's brother got me two kegs and I only had to give him a forty dollar delivery fee," explained Jasper as I felt Bella's hand slip into the back of my pants and I instantly hardened. We had yet to have sex since the fight, but I knew it was imminent. From the way she was always all over my junk, to the dirty words she whispered to me during Health class all week, I knew it was coming. Literally.

"Stop it," I whispered to her as I felt her other hand move across my jean covered cock slowly. Thankfully, we were sitting in a way that no one could see what she was doing under the table, but it was awkward none the less.

"I thought you wanted it," she replied softly as I nodded my head quickly in response.

"I do… I just don't want everyone in the cafeteria to know how much I want it," I said breathily as she removed her hand from my dick, but kept one in the waistband of my jeans. I think she enjoyed showing off our relationship to some of my 'prior' girls. "Am I picking you up tonight for the party?"

"Nope… I'm staying at Alice's tonight," she said with a laugh as she used air quotes to emphasize Alice's name. My mind instantly went into overdrive, because my parents had already given me permission to stay at Jasper's, since they were unaware of the party that was going on.

"Does that mean what I think it means?" I asked excitedly as she nodded her head slowly. I was definitely getting laid tonight. I did a little happy dance in my head before my mind was bombarded with images of Bella and I together in various positions.

"I'm also planning to get wickedly hammered. Did you know I've never been drunk before?" she announced and I was actually taken aback. I had tried to remember her at every other party we had gone to and she was right, she had never been drunk at any of them. "Can you believe it? It's something I've always wanted to do."

"You don't aspire to being drunk Bella. You aspire to becoming a dancer or a doctor," announced Rosalie as Emmett looked at her with wide eyes.

"A dancer like on 'So You Think You Can Dance', or like a stripper?"

"Same shit, different channel," laughed Rosalie as we all broke out into loud laughter. "If you are really serious about getting drunk though, there are some things you need to bring with you to Jasper's."

"Oh this will be epic, coming from the girl who has gotten drunk approximately three times in her life. Let's hear it, Jose Cuervo," joked Emmett, as Rosalie smacked him upside the head before turning to the rest of us, her face now clouded in seriousness.

"Make sure you bring lots of Advil or Tylenol with you, although I am partial to Advil thanks to their lovely candy coating. Before you go to bed, drink plenty of water and keep some on your bedside table. On our way over to Jasper's tonight, we are also going to pick up some greasy food that we can make in the morning, like eggs and bacon or something," advised Rosalie as everyone looked at her a little surprised.

"Why don't we just go to the diner the next morning?" asked Emmett as Rosalie shot him a dirty look, as though she expected him to know the answer.

"Simple, Bella here isn't supposed to be staying the night with Edward dipshit. She's supposed to be with Alice. Lord knows, Mama Brandon would make a huge breakfast if Bella was there. Don't you think the backwoods townsfolk would mention something to the Chief about seeing Bella at the diner with her hung over friends?" I had to let out a huge laugh, because Rosalie really did have all of her bases covered. It was kinda endearing to see that she was looking out for her best friend, and therefore me too.

"Thanks," I said genuinely as Rosalie nodded her head at me and began to recite a grocery list to Alice, for their shopping excursion after school. The rest of the conversation flowed easily amongst the girls and I just sat back, relieved to have no worries for the short term.

When the final bell rang for the day, Bella kissed me gently on the cheek before running out of health class to join her friends. She promised she would see me around seven at Jasper's and that the girls would be bringing pizza with them for dinner. Jasper had been telling people to show up at the house anytime after nine, so if I played my cards right, I could have my way with her before anyone arrived for the party. I ended up heading back to my own house for a while, packing a small bag of clothes and condoms obviously, before heading to Jaspers a little after six.

I was a little shocked when I pulled up to the driveway and found that his parents were still there.

"You do realize if you have a party this weekend, we might need to shoot you right? I wouldn't aim for your leg either, I'd go right for the heart," laughed his Dad as he came out of the house carrying two bags of luggage. He tossed them in the back of their small SUV and waited patiently for Jasper's Mom, Barbara. "I'm not kidding. Oh… hey there Edward."

"Hey Mr. Whitlock, sorry to hear you have to leave town under such horrible circumstances," I said genuinely as he eyed up my bag curiously. "Jasper and I were planning to play some video games and order some pizza for dinner tonight. Just a casual night in." Damn, I was getting too good at lying.

"Where are your women tonight?"

"Apparently they are tired of us," laughed Jasper as I rolled my eyes. "They are having some girls' night and have banished anything with a penis from coming a hundred feet near them." I let out a loud laugh as Emmett pulled up in his truck, looking just as surprised as I was that Jazz's parents hadn't left yet.

"Then why isn't McCarty over there joining them?" joked Mr. Whitlock as Em looked at us confused. Jasper and I both broke out into loud laughter just as Mrs. Whitlock came down the front steps, towards the SUV.

"No parties," she chastised quickly as Em and I both went to stand beside Jasper on the porch. "I will notice if anything is out of place."

"No you won't Barb, you barely realize it when I rearrange the living room so I can see the flat screen better," laughed Jazz's dad as he held the SUV door open for his wife and we all breathed a sigh of relief the moment we watched them pull out of the driveway.

"My brother will be here around eight with the booze," stated Emmett as we walked into the house. Jasper made us move the breakables into his parents' bedroom closet, and I couldn't help but notice as we put the last lamp away, that his parents' bed was rather spacious. At least now, I had a location. Now I just needed to convince my girlfriend to join me in their bed.

Sure enough, when seven o'clock rolled around, the girls showed up looking sexy as hell and brandishing Pizza from Gino's. I was quick to corner Bella as they came in and let her know of my intentions. "I need something from you before you start drinking," I said huskily as I wrapped my arms tight around her and pulled her into the living room. All of our friends had converged on the kitchen, where they were digging into dinner.

"What did you need babe?"

"This," I replied as I moved my hand between our bodies and slowly stroked her jean covered pussy. "I need to be inside of you."

"Let's eat dinner and then sneak away. Lord knows Rosalie can't go more than two hours without jumping Em's bones, so perhaps no one will notice we are gone," she whispered as I kissed her passionately, our tongues melding together in perfect harmony. Fuck, now I was hard as a rock. "How they aren't the poster kids for teenage pregnancy, I'm not sure." Bye bye erection.

I followed Bella into the kitchen and we joined our friends around the breakfast table and happily enjoyed some pizza as we talked about school issues, things we were planning to do over Christmas break and rumors that were running around school. None of it held my attention like Bella though. Ever since our little fight, I was bound and determined to make it up to her. I know that it had just been a major miscommunication between the two of us, but I wanted to stay with her when we went to school, preferably together. When dinner was over, Alice, Bella and Rosalie all cleaned up the kitchen as Jasper and Emmett went to go deal with Em's brother, who had pulled into the driveway with the two kegs, which Jasper wanted to put into the backyard.

As Rosalie and Alice went to go mediate the fight between their boyfriends, because Emmett thought it was stupid to leave the kegs outside and Jasper wanted to keep them cold, I grabbed Bella's hand and pulled her upstairs, happy that she seemed just as eager as I was to be alone. We quickly stepped into the Whitlocks' master bedroom and when the door was closed, I locked it before pushing Bella up against it, my lips descending onto hers.

"Edward… they are all going to know we are missing," stated Bella as I moved down to her neck and started sucking on her collarbone, while fumbling with the button and zipper on her jeans.

"Not if we do it quickly," I said firmly, as I looked up at Bella and her eyes were wide with lust. She yanked her shirt over her head as I grasped her ass and lifted her up, walking us towards the bed, which I had no remorse over fucking on. Once I sat Bella down on the edge of the bed, she was quick to free me from my pants, pulling my jeans and boxers down to my knees before sucking my cock into her hot, wet mouth.

I threaded my fingers through her hair, helping her slide on and off of my cock as she sucked my shaft like a pro. I had to admit that even though she hadn't gone down on me a lot since we started, each time she had vastly improved. "Oh sweet lord," I yelled out as her teeth grazed the underside of my dick, making me shudder in pleasure. "So fucking warm. I can… I can't take it."

I moved to find the pocket of my jeans, where my condom was, and pulled Bella from my cock remorsefully. As she moved back seductively on the bed, I was desperate to get my cock wrapped so that I could sink myself inside of her, which if I was being perfectly honest, was my favorite place in the whole world.

I climbed into the bed and kneeled before her, stroking myself with one hand and fingering her wetness with the other. I watched with desperate awe as her face contorted under the pleasure I was giving her, but I wasn't ready for her to get off just yet. I licked my fingers clean of her sweetness before grasping her ankles and pulling her towards me. "You are the sexist fucking thing in the world you know that?" I said seriously as I heard Bella giggle slightly.

"I thought you said we had to hurry? Are you going to fuck me or what?" she asked as she slipped her arms out of her bra and unclasped it, tossing it unceremoniously across the room. Without any further laughter, I plunged my cock deep inside of her, both of us releasing low guttural moans as I gripped her hips and fucked her as hard as I could. After a few moments, I grabbed her hand and slipped it between our bodies, pressing it firmly against her clit.

I could feel her hand moving in a circular motion as I slipped my cock out and took a moment to simply watch her play with herself, which I spent a few moments trying to burn into my memory. She was sex personified when she let her inhibitions fall by the wayside, and for a split second I allowed myself a moment to think of what would happen if I ever lost her.

"What's wrong?" asked Bella as she pulled her hand away and I grabbed it placing it back into position. "Am I doing something wrong?"

"Fuck no," I stated firmly as I had her lay on her side and I began to spoon her, lifting her leg up as I slid my cock back into its home. "Oh fuck yes…" I growled as Bella pushed her hips back against me in perfect rhythm. This time our position allowed me to massage her tits as I thrust myself in and out of her.

As I neared my release, I moved my hand down to cover Bella's, pressing down firmly and trying to help her come before I did. I loved feeling her come around my dick, squeezing it for all it was worth, as she screamed out my name, which occurred mere moments later. I bit down gently on her shoulder as I moaned out her name and released inside of her. "Don't ever think you did anything wrong," I said as I wrapped my arms tight around her and buried my head in her neck, my dick still inside of her.

"Are you okay?" she inquired as I shook my head against her shoulder and we were then interrupted by a loud knock on the door.

"If you guys are fucking in my parents' bedroom, I am seriously going to kill you," shouted Jasper as Bella and I let out a quiet laugh and we heard him stomp away down the hallway when we didn't respond.

"Don't worry, I'll tell him we fucked in his room," I laughed as Bella kissed my arm before pulling away and stepping across the room to grab her clothes that were scattered on the carpet. I watched her naked body move across the room and smiled happily to myself. "I am the luckiest guy in the world."

"Yeah, you are," she said with a laugh as she put her bra back on and then began to tug on her jeans which looked like a second skin.

"Where did you get that bruise on your hip?" I inquired as I pointed towards her and she turned, looking at the small purple spot on her side. "I didn't do that did I?"

"No. I ran into the kitchen counter the other day when you called. Remember when it took me like 3 rings to answer the phone?" she said as she then pulled her sweater back over her head and watched me expectantly. I just nodded my head as Bella then pulled her shoes back on. "Well it was then."

"Shouldn't that be faded a bit by now?" I questioned as she pulled her shirt on over her head.

"I might have bumped it again this morning getting ready for school. It's nothing, now hurry up and get dressed. If any of the skanks in our school get wind that you are upstairs naked, I might need to run home and get one of Charlie's rifles to keep the hyenas at bay."

I reluctantly got off of Jasper's parents bed and put my clothes on, giving Bella a passionate kiss before we stepped out of the room, hand in hand. As we walked down the stairs, we were both surprised to see so many people had already arrived. Bella dragged me into the backyard where our friends were all moving around the keg, trying to keep warm. "See, the beer is cold, but so is everyone else," yelled Emmett as we approached and I grabbed two big red plastic cups, one for each of us.

"Beer me," I announced as I held out the cups and Jasper quickly tipped them slightly, making sure not to get a ton of head on the top of our drinks. I was actually kind of impressed at his beer pouring skills. I handed Bella her drink and was a little surprised at how quickly she gulped it down. "You do realize this isn't a contest to drink the most in the shortest amount of time right?"

"How else will I get drunk?" questioned Bella, her face completely serious, which made me and Jasper laugh.

"You can get drunk by taking your time too, you don't have to down them all in ten minutes," explained Rosalie as Emmett draped his arm over her shoulder possessively as Vince approached. He was the star player on the basketball team and had his eye on Rosalie. Of course, I knew Emmett had nothing to worry about, but Emmett begged to differ. Would I feel the same way if someone else was interested in Bella? What the fuck was I thinking, of course I would. I already did. I was a possessive jerk whenever Jacob came within ten feet of her.

We made our way back into the house, Bella with her second beer and me still nursing my first, coming into contact with several classmates and we stopped to chat amiably. It was almost midnight when Bella finished her fifth beer and was walking a little sloppily. I kept my eye on her when I wasn't at her side, which wasn't very often. The one time I went to break the seal; I had Jasper keep an eye on her to make sure she was all good.

When I came back, Jasper had disappeared and I eventually found her in the basement with Alice and Rosalie, insisting on playing a drinking game. "What about strip poker?" asked Alice, who as just as drunk as Bella. As tempting as it sounded, if strip poker was going to be played, there would not be people other than Bella or me in attendance.

"Next suggestion."

"Strip Happy Days game?" added Bella as I looked at her with wide eyes. "Does Jasper even own it?"

"No one is getting naked," I announced with a small growl of possessiveness.

"He owns 'Hungry Hungry Hippos'" laughed Alice as she then recited the rest of the board games he owned which included Battleship, Uno and for some odd reason, Candy Land. "We could always put in a movie and play a drinking game to that."

"The house is full of kids from our school and you guys want to hang down here and play games?" I said curiously, as all three of the girls nodded their heads. "I'll go find Em and Jasper then."

"Edward," purred Bella, as I whipped my head around and she was sitting in a recliner with her legs spread and her finger hanging out of her mouth. "Can you get me another beer?" she asked as she extended her hand, her cup held tightly in it. I walked slowly towards her and took the cup from her before she grabbed my belt and pulled me close to her, her lips now at my ear. "I'm horny again."

"No, your drunk," I said with a small chuckle, knowing full well that Alice and Rosalie hear her.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you have lost your quiet voice. You just announced to Alice and Rosalie that you were horny." Bella's hand flew over her mouth and she looked completely mortified. "Still want another beer?"

"Yep," she said as I headed back up the stairs to the main floor, laughter erupting out of all three girls as I shut the door behind me. As I stepped out into the backyard to grab a beer, I was surprised to see Jacob standing beside the keg with a few of his friends. I wanted to act all cordial, but the fact that he was at a party that he wasn't invited to just rubbed me the wrong way.

"Black," I said sternly as I grabbed the tap and began pouring the beer for Bella, not doing as good of a job as Jasper had done earlier.

"Cullen. If you are here that must mean Bella is around somewhere right?" he asked, a smug grin forming on his face as he looked around the yard, clearly looking for her.

"Well, this is my best friends' house, why wouldn't I be here? And of course Bella is here, with me. I think she was upstairs with Alice last time I saw her," I lied as Emmett ambled over, drunkenly holding onto a large branch that was covered in leaves. "What the fuck happened to you?"

"I got in a fight with an asshole of a shrub," he claimed as he leaned over me and all I could smell was booze. "He was a smart ass I tells ya." I wrapped my arm around Emmett's shoulder and decided that he was effectively cut off. Thankfully, I only had three beers, and I was clearly much better off than any of my friends.

"Let's go Rocky," I announced as I turned my back on Jacob and helped Emmett into the house. Instead of bringing him back into the party, I brought him downstairs to where the girls were settled; playing Candy Land. "What the hell?"

"You took too long," laughed Alice as move her piece along the board with a perky smile on her face. "What the fuck happened to him?" she asked as she pointed towards Emmett, who was still clutching the branch for dear life.

"He lost a fight with a shrub apparently," I stated as Rosalie jumped up from her seat on the couch to see what was going on with Em.

"I din't fooking lose," Em stated emphatically even though he was slurring his words slightly. "Anyways, if you got into a fight with Black, you would definitely lose. I think that kid is taking steroids or something."

"Jacob's here?" Bella asked, her head perking up from the game as I shook my head in the negative.

"Yeah. Did you need to see him or something?" I lied, the jealously rolling off of me in waves. I was shocked when Bella jumped up from her seat and wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing me desperately in front of all of our friends.

"Nope. I have nothing to say to him right now."

"What the fuck? I throw a party and you guys hang out down here? And you…" he said angrily as he pointed at Emmett. "You better take your ass down to the fucking Home Depot or whatever god damn store and get my mother a new fucking bush. Take that branch with you dipshit." Jasper was pissed, but all Emmett could do was laugh his ass off.

"You said bush," giggled Emmett. Rosalie read all of our minds and smacked him upside the head, resulting in Emmett groaning and rubbing his head in pain, since the smack loudly pretty hard.

"I am going to go kick these assholes out of my house," said Jasper as I glanced down at my watch and noticed it was just past one in the morning. Jasper stalked up the stairs as I went to get comfortable in the empty recliner. Bella was quick to sit herself on my lap, moving around slightly and making me hard again.

"Bella…" I said, chastising her for her movement, which she knew was killing me.

"Yes?"

"To quote Ricky Bobby… Are we about to get it on? Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now," I said with a chuckle as Emmett's booming laugh from the other side of the basement filled the small room. I did my best to ignore him as I raised my eye brows at Bella, curious to know what she wanted to do.

"We're going to bed and we will be sleeping in Jasper's parents' room. Not that there will be much sleeping right baby? See all of you in the morning," shouted Bella loudly, her quiet voice still not working as she practically dragged me up the stairs.

When we walked into the kitchen, Bella grabbed me and forced me up against the Whitlock's pantry door, not giving a shit that there were still about fifty people in the house. "I can't wait to get you upstairs and feel you inside of me again," she announced loudly as she palmed my cock for a moment, making me groan in anticipation.

I was a little shocked that she announced to everyone that we were planning to fuck, but as we walked past the back door, I saw Jacob in the backyard; and he definitely saw me and heard Bella's announcement.

He then watched with a sour face as Bella led me towards the front stairs, so I shot him a smug look that said 'she's mine' and followed my woman, feeling a little arrogant because Jacob was now well aware that she was mine and I would not be giving her up easily.


	19. My Christmas Eve

**A/N: What is this fuckery? Two chapters from CPW in a matter of hours? Thank my beta for working some magic on the latest chapters of all of my stories and getting them back to me so quickly. So all together now… thank you maggiemay14! You are the best sugartush!**

**On a more serious note, I'm desperately trying to finish off my story American Boy, which is literally 5 chapters away from being finished. So, if you read that story this is good news… because I will be posting like 2 more chapters of AB before I get to my next TR. However once AB is finished, I will be focusing my efforts on this story a lot more. Oh and if you read AB, there will be another teaser on the Fictionators site tomorrow, so check it out!**

**Ooh and don't forget I am being auctioned in the Fandom Gives Back Author Auction which begins on November 15****th****. Check out my blog for more details.**

**As per usual, I don't own Twilight; I do however own a stuffed Mystery Machine, which provides me with inspiration for the Scooby Doo meets Twilight crackfic I wanna write.**

**EPOV**

December flew by quickly and Bella and I found ourselves tugged in different directions in the weeks leading up to Christmas Break. We both a several major projects due in school, unfortunately we only had one we had to do together for Health Class, and I didn't think it was enough. I hated thinking about it, but it kind of drove me nuts that I had to pass up so much time with Bella so that she could work with other people on schoolwork.

Mrs. Jameson had moved us onto the human genome project in class and Bella and I had to write a lengthy essay about its past, present and future. Luckily for me, this involved a lot of research and more than one afternoon spent in the library together after school. Now that football season was done, I had almost every day free to spend with Bella and I was trying to maximize our time together, even though I knew I would see her almost every day during the break.

"What are you thinking about?" I questioned one Tuesday afternoon as we sat in the library, our noses in a reference book which outlined the inception of the genome project back in 1990 by the U.S. Department of Energy. I was fiddling anxiously with my pen, biting the end of it as I watched Bella twirl a few strands of her hair around her finger.

"Well, I was thinking about all the countries involved and the consortium of geneticists that are involved with the project, but now I'm just wondering why you aren't reading the pages of info I asked you to," laughed Bella as I smirked at her and wiggled my eye brows.

"I promise to focus on my work, if you agree to take a short break with me… perhaps to the sound booth in the back?" I asked with a knowing grin. Bella wouldn't be the first girl I ever made out with in the sound booth which was meant for people to listen to various resources and references, but she would certainly be the only one I would remember.

"I'll agree to five minutes, if you promise to come back and focus on your work," she stated firmly. Even though she was frustrated with my desire to feel her up, which I would do twenty four hours a day, seven days a week if she would let me, I knew she wasn't mad. I gripped Bella's hand firmly in mine and pulled her with me, practically sprinting to the back of the library and throwing open the door to the booth, desperate to be alone with her, away from the prying eyes of the librarian and other classmates.

When we finally entered the tiny room at the back of the library, I was quick to lock the door behind us before lifting Bella onto the small table in the center of the space, her legs opening without question as I settled my own between them. I cupped her face in my hands, kissing her reverently as I felt her hands scrap against the back of my long sleeved shirt. My hands instinctively went to her ass and I pulled her closer to the edge of the table, desperate to feel her against my aching dick, even if it was through two layers of denim.

"If we didn't have this stupid project due on Friday…" she stated breathlessly as I pulled away from her mouth for a moment and my lips found purchase against her soft neck. I ground myself against her and was eager for her to finish her statement. God, I wanted to hear what she had to say.

"What would we be doing if we didn't have this project due baby?" I asked fiercely as one hand moved up and began to pluck and tease at her nipple through her beige knit sweater. Bella lolled her head back slowly and her eyes glazed over.

"Oh god… we'd be in your room fucking," she cursed out as I moved against her again, my cock desperately trying to find a way into her wet folds, as Bella's hand reached up to the back of my head and pulled me down to her lips, our tongues merging together seamlessly.

I had just managed to reach my hand under the hem of Bella's shirt and was working my way up when there was a loud, obnoxious knock on the door. "I know you two are in there, so get dressed and get the hell out," called Emmett, as I rested my head down on Bella's shoulder and she let out a small, yet frustrated giggle.

"Well, he's certainly better than any alarm clock on my cell phone. It has been five minutes you know," I growled in disappointment and reluctantly helped her down from the table. That was the last time I was alone with Bella for the rest of the day. When we walked out the room, Rosalie was stomping her foot impatiently on the floor and she dragged Bella away, practically kicking and screaming. When I ended up talking to Bella later that night on the phone, she groaned about how the girls had dragged her shopping for Christmas, which made me sigh in frustration, reminding me of another issue I had.

What the hell was I supposed to get her for Christmas?

As the holidays quickly approached, I still had no idea on what to get Bella. I asked Jasper and Emmett, but as usual they were no help. "Lingerie dude, it's the gift that keeps on giving," said Emmett one lunch hour as we waited for the girls to come and join us. We had run into them in the hallway as we made our way to the cafeteria, but Alice had claimed that they all needed to use the bathroom at the same time, so I took the opportunity to have a serious conversation with my friends. Unfortunately, they were not as serious about it as I was.

"I've been dating her for only two and a half months Emmett, lingerie is not the answer."

"I beg to differ Edward," said Jasper with his eye brows raised curiously. "Alice would be more than pleased if I got her something skimpy from Victoria's Secret."

"Well Bella isn't Alice. I want to get her something more meaningful and sweet, not just something that says 'Hey baby, wanna fuck?'" Emmett laughed and shook his head from side to side.

"Isn't that what you want though? I mean honestly, you're 17 years old… go get laid man," he grinned as I punched him on the shoulder, hurting my own knuckles in the process. How the fuck did this guy seem to be made of granite?

"I want more than sex from Bella asshole," I said seriously. However, my mind suddenly stepped into overdrive as I began wondering what the hell I wanted from her? College was going to be an issue, but I knew for certain I still wanted her, even if we were far apart. Surely relationships had gone through more than the distance of college, right? We waited this long to get together, I knew we would be fine when it came to us being apart in several months. "I want her while I'm away at college. I know for a fact I don't want anyone else to EVER be with her."

"Possessive much?" tossed in Jasper as I narrowed my eyes at him and mouthed 'fuck off' just as Coach Clapp walked by. "You keep that shit up turd and you're gonna get smacked in the mouth."

"Is that a catchphrase or epilepsy?" I questioned back to him, throwing another Talladega Nights quote his way.

"Touché butt munch," he laughed as the cafeteria doors flew open and in walked Bella, Rosalie and Alice all dressed like Santa's naughty elves. "What the fuck is going on?"

"I have no idea, but I hope to god Rosalie owns that outfit," panted Emmett as he looked like a dog in heat as he watched our girlfriends stroll across the room and meet with Coach Clapp, who suddenly called the room to order.

"Listen the hell up," he yelled gruffly as my eyes couldn't be peeled away from Bella. She was in a red velvet dress with white fur trim, cute black shoes and a Santa hat on her head. Her long brown hair fell sensually down her shoulders and I felt my jeans instantly get tight. "These lovely girls have something to say, and you guys are all gonna listen."

The room fell silent and I watched just as eagerly as everyone else as Alice moved forward and started to speak as loudly as she could. "For the next week, we are running a Christmas Charity event. Every lunch hour, starting today, you will fine Rosalie, Bella and I myself perched at a table in the front hallway selling candy canes for a one dollar donation. For a ten dollar donation, we will be offering up kisses," she stated as the guys in the crowd all began to hoot and holler. "On the cheek boys, so don't get too excited. All the money will go to the Children's Cancer Center at Port Angeles Hospital. Now you know where to find us."

The girls strolled out of the room again, and I noticed Bella's eyes meet mine before she winked sweetly. What the hell was going on? She was offering up kisses for ten bucks and she hadn't even mentioned it to me. I looked over at Emmett and Jasper who looked just as frustrated, especially when we noticed virtually every other guy searching through their wallets. "What the hell are we supposed to do?" I questioned as Emmett pulled a twenty dollar bill from his wallet and stood up, ignoring his half eaten lunch.

"It's simple. I'm going to pay twenty bucks to kiss my girl, tongue and all. Then I'm going to stand behind her and watch to make sure no guys get handsy. Consider me Rosalie's personal bodyguard for the next hour." I watched a little flabbergasted as Emmett strolled out of the room, the first guy leading the stream of guys who were leaving the room with their cash in hand.

"At least the hospital will make some good money right?" said Jasper as I noticed he only have a five dollar bill. I handed him my last five dollar bill that was in my wallet and walked out of the cafeteria, away from the front entrance hallway where the girls were situated. There was no way I could sit there and watch anyone else kiss Bella. There would no doubt be bloodshed if I saw anyone put their lips on her. Unfortunately for me, what I thought I was a smart decision on my part to stay away ended up being the worst.

When I strolled into health class, Bella was already sitting in her chair, her hands folded on the desk and her head resting against it. She looked like she was on the verge of falling asleep. "Hey," I said quietly, not wanting to disturb her. I dropped my text books on the desk and I couldn't help but notice she wasn't speaking to me. "Are you okay?"

"Hey Bella," said Mike as he walked into class and waved at her cheerfully. _Fucking asshole._

"Hi Mike. Thanks for the twenty dollar donation today," she responded, while my jaw fell open and practically hit my desk in surprise. "That was really sweet of you."

"It was nice of you to offer to kiss me on the lips for ten extra bucks. It was worth it, even though now I can't buy the pizza for dinner tonight like my mom asked," he said with a loud laugh as my fists clenched at my side. I was about to speak up when Mrs. Jameson walked in, calling the class to order. Bella and I didn't speak for the rest of the period. When I did finally corner her after class, she was reluctant to talk to me.

"Am I driving you home?" I questioned, as she was packing her book bag down by her locker.

"I'm going out with Alice and Rosalie actually. I figured since you couldn't bother coming to my charity event, you wouldn't mind if I couldn't be bothered to spend the afternoon with you," she stated icily as I grabbed my hair and began tugging, the painful sensation on my scalp feeling almost as bad as the ache in my heart from her angry words.

"I would have gone Bella, but I couldn't sit there and watch other guys try to kiss you," I admitted weakly as she groaned and shut her locker fiercely. Her cheeks flushed with pink, but I couldn't help but notice the fact that the rest of her looked fairly pale, which is saying a lot for Forks, because everyone looks pale. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fucking fine," she snapped as I took a step back from her and held up my hands in defeat.

"Listen, I didn't go because I didn't want to see other guys pay money to kiss MY girl. I know it's very possessive and mean of me, whatever, but I don't care. You're my girlfriend, not theirs and I should be the only one kissing you. Also, if I think you look sick, I'm going to say something, because I care about you and I want you to be happy and healthy." I tossed my book bag over my shoulder and stormed away, not wanting to get into the situation with Bella further. I didn't drive her home, instead deciding to drive into Port Angeles and find her Christmas gift. Only I could come up with a good idea while having an argument in the halls of school with my girlfriend.

When I got home later that night, I found a hand-written note from Bella on my bed. My mom had called me while I was on my way to Port Angeles to let me know that Bella had stopped by to see me and left the note when she found out I wasn't home. I lay back on my bed and stared at the ceiling for a minute before I flipped open the piece of lined paper and read her words.

_Edward,_

_I'm sorry I didn't take your feelings into consideration when I decided to do the Charity Christmas Kisses, but I really just wanted to help out some kids in need this Christmas. I also found out from Jasper that you lent him your last five bucks so that he could kiss Alice, so I'm sorry. Please call me when you get home. I need to hear your voice. I miss you._

_Bella xxoo_

I let out a small groan and folded the paper closed, shoving it back into the top drawer of my nightstand where I kept everything Bella related. The ticket stub from our first movie, the pair of panties she left here the night we first slept together, the Halloween card she gave me that was funny as hell. Hell, even all the packages of condoms were in there, even though they were rapidly depleting. I grabbed my cell phone from my pocket and began to type out a message, quickly erasing it before deciding to just call her. It rang three times before she picked up.

"Hello?" she said breathlessly as I began to wonder what the hell she had been doing. "Jacob, just shut the hell up for a minute. Hello?" she repeated, as I closed the phone and tugged on my hair again, which was becoming a more frequent occurrence. Suddenly, I felt like talking to her was something we needed to do in person instead of on the phone._ Yeah, that's why I was going over to her house. _I grabbed my hoodie and bounded down the stairs, desperate to get over to her house.

When I pulled in front of the Chief's quaint house, I wasn't surprised to see Jacob's red VW sitting there, rusting away happily. I always thought my car was a piece of shit, but his barely looked road worthy. Was the bumper held on with duct tape? I walked anxiously up the front steps of the house and as I neared the door, I could hear Bella's laughter, clear as day, from the other side. I pressed the button on the doorbell and waited patiently.

When the door opened, I should have been shocked to see Jacob standing there, but I wasn't. "Cullen," he said stoically, his happy smile turning into a grim frown as he gave me the once over.

"Black. Is Bella here?"

"Yeah, she just ran upstairs to get changed. She spilt water all over her white t-shirt."_ Jesus Fuck._ Just my fucking luck. "I was helping her make cookies for the charity thing tomorrow at your school since you disappeared on her."

"I didn't know I was supposed to help her make cookies," I said disappointedly. That would have been fun too, licking cookie dough off of her neck before finally dragging her upstairs, and fucking the hell out of as she bent over the bathroom counter, all the while she would be trying to wash her hands.

"Yeah well, there are clearly a lot of things you don't know about her Cullen," Jacob said firmly, the accusation that I didn't know my girlfriend as well as he thought he did was very obvious. I was about to curse him out when Bella suddenly strolled into the room, her eyes growing wide with surprise when she saw me standing there.

"When did you get here?" she questioned as a timer went off in the kitchen and she strolled in, casually pulling a tray of freshly baked gingerbread cookies out of the oven. She put another sheet back in its place, before tossing down the oven mitts and staring at me.

"A few minutes ago, when you apparently went to get changed because your shirt was wet," I said simply. I wanted to move towards her, wrap my arms around her and kiss the hell out of her, but I stood still. I didn't want to assume that she wanted the same thing. "I got your letter and I had to come and see you."

"I'm glad you did," she uttered sweetly, as she walked closer to me and I held my arms out, desperate for her to be in them. When I finally did envelope her, she laid her head against my chest and I looked at Jacob, who was now fuming. "I'm sorry about today. I was feeling and you just thought I looked sick because I didn't eat lunch. However, I didn't think you would mind the whole kissing thing."

"What kissing thing?" questioned Jacob anxiously. I couldn't help but laugh internally, because it was obvious that he was just as upset about the entire thing as I had been, except he had no reason to be upset because he wasn't dating Bella. Perhaps I needed to remind him of this again.

"Okay, so Rosalie, Alice and I are running a charity Christmas event to raise money for the children's cancer ward down at PAH. Today we sold candy canes and offered up kisses for ten dollars a pop," stated Bella casually as Jake's eyes grew wide. "Anyways, tomorrow we are selling gingerbread cookies too. We raised over two hundred dollars today and are hoping to get a thousand by the end of the week."

I almost choked when she mentioned how much money was raised, but I was determined not to say anything. Bella was clearly excited about this and as long as she was kissing them on the cheek only, I shouldn't get jealous. It's not like she's taking these guys into the janitor's closet and blowing them for fucks sake.

"Oh. Well, I hope you reach your goal Bella."

"Thanks Jake, I'm sure we will. Emmett keeps talking about bringing twenty's from his dad's wallet so he can just make out with Rosalie all lunch hour," she said with a gentle laugh as my hand stroked her back slowly.

"How much did you pay Cullen?"

"Nothing."

"Couldn't be bothered to buy a kiss from your own girlfriend?" laughed Jake as I rolled my eyes and Bella patted my chest soothingly.

"Actually, he lent his money to Jasper so that he could kiss Alice," said Bella as she looked up at me with her big brown eyes and I grew hard. "Which I think was the sweetest thing ever." I leaned my head forward slightly and kissed Bella gently on the lips, only to be interrupted by the loud coughing of the Chief right behind her.

"Nice to see you again Edward," he said as he grabbed a beer from the fridge and headed back to the living room where he was watching the Discovery Channel. "You better help Bells with those cookies, she said she wanted to make ten dozen and Jake there keeps eating them."

"Consider it done sir. I'm here to help Bella in any way she needs me." Jacob groaned before I reluctantly let go of Bella, who suddenly turned into the baking Nazi and had both Jake and I working away at mixing and cutting the dough with the small cookie cutter. It took us almost two hours, but we finally got them all baked and put away into several Tupperware containers. Jake said a quick goodbye to Bella and Charlie before sneering at me and heading out the door.

The moment he was gone, I was quick to wrap my arms around Bella again, my lips meeting the side of her neck in desperation. "I'm so sorry about today. I didn't realize I was being an ass, I thought I was …" I was saying, until Bella silenced me with a kiss, her tongue finding mine quickly and wrapping around it firmly.

"You don't have to say anything. I shouldn't have sprung it on you baby," she said genuinely. "Rose told Emmett what we were doing and he pretended he didn't know anything, which was why he had money on him. No doubt tomorrow there will be more guys because they will have raided their piggy banks and begged their mothers for the money."

I let out a small sigh as I took in a deep breath, smelling a scent that was clearly all Bella with a hint of gingerbread. "Tomorrow, I promise to be by your side the entire time. Hell, I'll even make change for the cookies and kisses."

"Do you promise?" she asked excitedly as I kissed her sweetly one more time on the lips.

"I promise. Can you promise to wear that elf costume for me one night though?" I said as I wiggled my eye brows suggestively at her and she patted my chest while she laughed.

"I think that can be arranged."

_Yes, there is a god!_

**BPOV**

When that final Friday came around, I was more than relieved to have everything with the charity done. We ended up raising just over fifteen hundred dollars for the hospital and I gave the cash to Carlisle, who took it down for us to give to the administrators there. I was also relieved because that Friday meant the start of Christmas break. Two whole weeks with no school and hopefully lots of Edward.

The first few days of break were good but very busy. I spent the first Saturday in Seattle with Rosalie and Alice, trying to find the perfect Christmas gift for Edward. His parents were going to some party in town for Christmas Eve, so I had gotten permission from Charlie to go and celebrate with Edward, although I had to promise I would be home by midnight.

Ever since Renee had left, Christmas wasn't as important for Charlie and I. Sure, we decorated the tree and I baked some treats for us to enjoy, but it just didn't feel the same anymore. Billy and Jacob usually came over on Christmas Day and they celebrated with us, eating the ham I would prepare while we played board games or watched Christmas movies like 'The Ref' or 'Mixed Nuts.' We never went the traditional route of choosing 'It's a Wonderful Life' or 'Miracle on 34th Street' because no matter how traditional we Swans were, we just couldn't do it.

Another thing I couldn't do was shop. I spent almost six hours wandering the malls and stores in Seattle with my best friends, and struggled finding something meaningful for Edward. I would find something small every now and then, but never anything that said 'I love you', which was what I truly believed and wanted to tell him.

"Why don't you dress slutty and have sex with him? Lingerie is the gift that keeps on giving," laughed Alice as I rolled my eyes and continued to look through the rows of CD's in the store we were in. Not even music seemed remotely interesting.

"Ooh have anal sex with him. That's what Emmett wants for Christmas," announced Rosalie with no shame, as an elderly couple glared at her and shuffled away fuming. "What? I'm just saying that's what he wants. We're not doing it."

"We're not doing it either," I announced forcefully as I started to look through the new releases and sighed, finding nothing that I wanted to give him. Why was it always hard as hell to find something perfect for your boyfriend? I briefly wondered if Edward had such a difficult time finding a gift for me, but decided to put the thought from my mind, before I started to wonder what he had gotten me. "Is it too hard to find something that says how I feel about him?"

"Ooh, let's go over to the embroidery place and you can get him a throw pillow with that thing you once said to Rosie and I… what was it again Bella? 'Edward has the best fucking cock ever'?" giggled Alice as I threw my hand over my mouth, instantly regretting ever uttering those words. "What guy wouldn't like that?"

"Actually, Emmett would probably love it, let's go," joked Rosalie as I pulled back from her when she tried to grab my arm.

"The only place I want to go is home. Haven't we shopped enough today? We still have to drive back to Forks you know," I said sullenly as Rosalie and Alice both glared at me in frustration. Of course, my little tantrum only meant that I was forced to spend another hour wandering around as my feet grew tired and sore. By the time I got home that night, I had a moment to send Edward a quick text to let him know I survived before I passed out on my bed, still dressed in my street clothes.

Two days before Christmas, I went over to the Cullen's to help Esme with her Christmas baking. She and Carlisle had invested in a new oven after the 'Thanksgiving Day Turkey Debacle of 2009' and we were testing it out by making dozens of cookies for their family that was coming over on Christmas Day. There were gingerbread men, rum balls, shortbread and even some chocolate chip cookies, which were Edward's favorite. He was in and out of the kitchen most of the time I was there, but when our last batch came out of the oven, he was quick to whisk me away.

"What do you want for dinner tomorrow night?" he questioned me, as he sat in his bedroom, his back to his headboard and my back to his chest. His arms were wrapped tightly around my chest and his face was nuzzled into my neck. I let out a low sigh and wished I could stay there with him, forever.

"Rum balls?" I said with a sly laugh as Edward kissed my neck.

"Oh, I'll give you balls alright," he said smugly as I thrust my arm backwards and elbowed him in the chest. "Ouch, that fricking hurt."

"Serves you right," I said with a giggle as Edward resumed kissing my neck. My body shuddered and I found myself getting wet from his languid tongue. "How about we just order a pizza? I'm kinda excited about the prospect of finding out what you got me for Christmas."

"I'm just putting a bow on my penis, cause I'm really hoping we have sex tomorrow night," laughed Edward as he nipped gently on my ear lobe and I let out a small gasp.

"Very funny, and who says penis anyways?"

"The son of a doctor says penis. Did you want me to say other proper medical terms like vagina?" chuckled Edward as I pulled away from him.

"Hell no. You know I hate that word. I hate it just as much as vajayjay, who the fuck says that?" I added as Edward began to tickle my sides and called out various stupid names for the female anatomy including 'love mitten.' When he was finally done tickling me until I cried, Edward drove me home, with promises of continuing everything the next day.

When I woke up on Christmas Eve Day, I found myself oddly nervous, but I didn't know why. I liked the gift I had gotten Edward, and I was sure he would like what I had picked out for him. I even had something a little festive planned to wear under my clothes. While shopping with the girls, I didn't find anything that could pass as lingerie that I wanted to buy, but I found something that I knew would make Edward beg for me.

I aimlessly made my way through my day, wrapping the present I got Edward and all the ones I had gotten my father after I had showered and gotten dressed for our date. When five o'clock finally rolled around, I gave my dad a big kiss and practically ran out the door, jumping into the front seat of Edward's Volvo. "You are on time."

"Aren't I always?" he laughed as his hand intertwined with mine and we drove away in silence. I had tossed Edward's gift on the back seat, and fidgeted nervously the entire time. Even as we sat at the pizza place, awaiting our dinner that Edward had ordered before he left the house, I was anxious. I felt like I was about to lose my virginity all over again or something.

When we got back to the house, we settled in the basement, eating the tempting supreme pizza while we watched 'A Christmas Story' on TBS, which repeated it all fricking day and night during the holidays. As soon as we were done eating, Edward was quick to clean everything up and usher me up to his room, where he claimed he had my gift waiting for me. I was surprised when he opened his bedroom door and I noticed lit candles everywhere.

"When the hell did you do this?" I exclaimed in surprise as I turned around to face him, wrapping my arms around his neck and holding him tightly against me.

"When I was cleaning up, I put all the stuff into the garbage and ran up here to light them all. I set them up earlier today though," he admitted as I ran my fingers through his soft hair and kissed him sweetly.

"Thank you," I said quietly as I noticed both of our presents were sitting in the middle of the bed. My gift from him looked surprisingly small. "Are we gonna do gifts now?"

"Do you want to do gifts now?" he questioned with a laugh as I looked at the gifts again and nodded my head. I really wanted to know what he had gotten me. "Okay, but I want you to open your gift second."

"Alright," I said with a sigh as I settled myself in the bed across from Edward and I handed him his gift. I wanted to see his face while he opened it and hopefully enjoyed what I gave him. He was quick to tear off the shiny silver paper and when he lifted the lid, I felt a surge of relief as he smiled brightly.

I had gotten him several small gifts and put them all together in the box for him to open. The first was a pair of black silk boxers that I thought would look sexy as hell on him. I also got him a couple of CD's from his favorite bands, an iTunes gift card and my favorite thing, a framed photo of him and I that Alice had taken during the final week of school. I was dressed in my elf costume and he was wearing a Santa hat and looked so happy, every time I saw the photo it took my breath away. I had one on my nightstand as of yesterday when I got the photo back from the store.

"I love it all," gushed Edward as I watched his hand move reverently down the photo frame. "You look so beautiful in this photo." I blushed and watched as Edward put it on his nightstand, facing him, so he would see it first thing in the morning. "Time for yours."

Edward offered me the box covered in wrapping paper that was a candy cane design and I laughed to myself as I pulled it off and lifted the lid from the small rectangular box. I let out a gasp as I looked at the bracelet, not wanting to touch it. "This is too much Edward."

"It's never enough Bella," he said sweetly as he picked it up and grabbed my wrist, immediately putting it on me. It was a simple, sterling silver chain link bracelet with small hearts hanging from it, every fourth link. It was beautiful and when Edward had it fully clasped and he grabbed my hand, pulling me towards him, I couldn't help myself.

"I love you."

Fuck. I had said it too soon. It wasn't the right time and from the look on Edward's face, he clearly wasn't expecting me to say it. "What did you just say?" he questioned me as he pulled back slightly and my heart ached. I had fucked this all up, hadn't I?

"Nothing, it was just word vomit."

"Did you say you loved me?" he asked again and I groaned as I fidgeted with the wrapping paper still in my lap.

"Yes… no… just forget I said anything." I let out a small sigh and before I could understand anything else, Edward suddenly flipped me over and had me pinned to the bed. He hovered over me as his eyes grew dark and I felt his hardness against my thigh. What the hell was going on?

"I love you too. I'm a little pissed you said it first, but it doesn't matter, cause you love me. Bella Swan loves me."

"You love me too?" I said incredulously as Edward's hand threaded through my hair at the back of my head and he leaned forward to kiss me. It was strong and passionate, his lips moved effortlessly with mine and it was perfect._ He was perfect._

"Yes, I love you. I've loved you since like the fourth grade, but I never had the chance to tell you until now," Edward admitted as I suddenly felt an overwhelming need to posses him, every single inch of him. I tugged at the hem of his shirt, trying in vain to lift it off of him because his arms weren't moving from their position on either side of my head.

"This isn't going to be rushed Bella," he stated fiercely as his lips descended to my neck and I let out a small groan of arousal. "We are in love and I am going to take my time making love to my girl."

"Oh fuck," I said in anticipation as I felt Edward' hands moved slowly over my body. When he found the bottom of my shirt, he was quick to pull it up and off of me. Goosebumps broke out across my skin as Edward sat on his knees, simply staring down at my half naked body. The white cotton bra I had worn, which matched the panties that were still hidden, seemed to confuse him. "Before you ask, I had a second gift planned for you."

"Oh really?" he questioned eagerly as I nervously moved my hands down to undo the top button on my jeans. Edward's hands slid over the fabric of my jeans and settled where mine were, pushing them away slowly so that he could undress me. When he began to tug my jeans off, I lifted my ass up from the bed and heard him growl as he found what lay beneath. The red and white candy cane underwear that said 'lick me' over my pussy and the knee high socks with candy canes on them. "How am I supposed to be gentle with you when you wear this?" asked Edward as his hand began to move slowly against the words written on my panties, making me literally drip with excitement.

"I never thought you would be gentle," I said with a short giggle as Edward narrowed his eyes and spread my legs open to him. He bent his entire body forward and grasped the cotton of my panties between his teeth, nipping and pulling at me.

"Fuck, you smell delicious," he said as I bucked my hips towards him at his words. At this point, I was absolutely desperate for any sort of contact with him that I would do anything he asked of me.

"Please," I begged shamelessly as he looked up at me from beneath his eye lashes.

"Please what Bella? Tell me what you want," he stated firmly as I clutched the sheets of his bed, my knuckles turning white based on the amount of force I was exerting.

"Anything… do anything to me… something…. Just do me."

Edward was quick to respond to my words and before they were completely out of my mouth, Edward's fingers were buried inside of my wetness, pumping furiously as my eyes rolled back into my head out of sheer ecstasy. I felt him yank the panties away from my body and his firm hands were then on my thighs, pushing them apart fiercely before I felt his lips on me. "Oh My God," I yelled out in surprise as his tongue assaulted my clit in the most feral way possible. Groans and grunts filled the room and came from both me and Edward as he lapped away at me. When his fingers slipped out of my aching heat, I let out a low sigh of disappointment, but was rewarded seconds later with his tongue deep inside of me, fucking me like crazy as his fingers pressed against my clit.

I was desperate for release and when I felt him add a finger inside of me, along with his tongue, I came undone and screamed his name as loud as I could as I came harder than I ever thought possible. When I finally opened my eyes, Edward had jumped from the bed and was in the process of desperately stripping off his clothes. My eyes couldn't tear themselves away from his cock though, which was bobbing happily at attention, desperate for a release of its own.

"Come here," I said with one finger raised as I motioned it towards him. I boldly grabbed the condom from the nightstand and was ripping it open as he knelt between my still open legs. With one hand, I grasped his cock firmly and began to stroke it slowly as I watched him smile crookedly from my touch. This was why I loved him. I touched him, even in the smallest way possible, and we both felt connected to one another.

As my movements on his aching cock sped up, I could see the tension forming in his face. "If you are going to give me a hand job, that is all well and good, but wouldn't you prefer me here," Edward said with a huge smile as he shoved two fingers back inside of me, causing me to buck my hips slightly. "That's what I thought."

I pulled out the condom and was quick to cover him, before he moved closer to me, but was still on his knees. "I love you."

"I love you too," I replied cheerfully as I grabbed his face and pulled him closer to me, our lips meeting in perfect rhythm as I felt Edward's dick against my inner thigh. Close, but not close enough to where I needed him. "Make love to me."

Edward needed no further encouragement, as his hands and lips began to lavish and love every single inch of my body. His fingers danced over my skin reverently, as though he was memorizing me and I felt more loved than I ever had before. Several minutes later when he finally entered me, we both sighed loudly and then we both stopped moving completely. Having Edward inside of me, the true joining of both of our bodies, made me want to break down and cry. This was ten times more emotional than it had been the first time we were together just over a month ago. This was what love was.

"I need to move Bella," Edward said as his lips found purchase against my breast and I nodded slowly, before he began to slowly slide in and out of me, my wetness making it easier for him to move. Our hands intertwined with each other's and Edward held them above my head, pressed firmly to the pillows, as he lavished me with kisses and continued moving in me.

When he released my hands a few minutes later, I was quick to wrap them around his back and dig my nails into his firm skin, making him growl sexily. His finger then found my clit and he was pressing firmly, working in small circles as I felt his breathing get more erratic. "I need to come so bad Bella. Please tell me you are ready for me."

"Oh god yes," I forced out through clenched teeth as Edward pinched my clit between his thumb and forefinger, making me lose control. His name fell from my lips repeatedly and I felt him thrust into me two more times, before yelling out loudly in release and appreciation. Edward ended up laying his body on top of mine for a moment, my legs wrapped around his while his arms held me tightly in place.

"I love you so much you know," he said genuinely as my hand stroked his hair softly. I looked down at the bracelet gracing my wrist and I smiled, knowing he meant every word he spoke.

"I love you too Edward. I always will."


	20. My New Years Nightmare

**A/N: I know I spent like WEEKS pimping out my auction on the fandom gives back auction and I ended up selling 6 one-shots, which was super awesome. I've gotten some of the requests from the winners, the totally fuckawesome Risbee, Kiki Enigma, Nelln, SassyK, Kerry Hale and MaggieMay14, so you guys should thank these girls profusely for the massive amounts of coldplaywhore wordage that will be coming your way before Christmas.**

**On another and completely related note, I bought PIC's Fan Fic Blog (link on my profile page) and I get to run their show for a whole week, so make sure you have them on bookmarked or that you follow them so that you know about the madness that I will bring down upon them. There are still lots of other awesome authors and auctions still up for grabs, so visit www . thefandomgivesback . com for more information.**

**As per usual, thanks to my girls MaggieMay14, flightlessbird11 and beegurl13 for pre-reading and betaing. Risbee12 for helping me off my ledge more often than not.**

**I don't own Twilight, I am watching the New Moon premiere and cursing the screen cause Rob hasn't shown up yet.**

**BPOV**

I hated that I had to leave Edward's house on Christmas Eve, especially after we finally said we loved one another. I couldn't help it when the words just slipped out of my mouth and the look on his face told me he was just as surprised as I had been. Thankfully, the moment ended up being perfect for us. It wasn't forced, it wasn't awkward and there were no regrets from either of us. My only regret was having to leave him and head home.

When I got back to the house, Charlie was passed out in his recliner with the Christmas tree lights still on and the TV buzzing in the background. He had clearly attempted to wait up for me and had been unsuccessful. I woke him up by gently nudging his shoulder before I turned off the TV and the lights and we ambled up the stairs, both of us tired for completely different reasons.

When I climbed into bed, my mind was racing and I couldn't sleep. I looked over at the clock on my nightstand and saw that it was just past midnight. In a moment of weakness, I grabbed my cell phone and texted Edward. Apparently I now couldn't be apart from him for more than an hour.

_Merry Christmas Baby – B_

I stared out the window into the dark night for a few minutes until I heard Edward's signature ringtone.

_Can't sleep without you anymore. Any chance you can sneak back over? –E_

_Highly unlikely. I'm not exactly stealthy like a bond girl –B_

I rested my head back against my pillow and went through the photos of Edward and I that were on my phone. I had been meaning for the longest time to get some of them off of there and printed, because some of them were actually decent for a camera phone, but it never materialized. I began fingering the buttons on my phone as it buzzed again.

_I love you –E_

_I love you too baby. Will I see you tomorrow? –B_

_Yeah. Mom gave me a 2 hour reprieve before the family arrives. I should be there around noon; will you be done with your gifts by then? –E_

_No worries there. Charlie and I never go all out on presents –B_

_Well, expect me there promptly at noon. I can't go that long without you –E_

_Goodnight babe –B_

_Goodnight… go to sleep and I will see you soon –E_

I closed my cell phone and rested it on my nightstand, but sleep still did not come easy to me. Sure, it had been nice to hear from Edward, but it didn't calm my nerves any like I thought it would. I finally gave up the ghost just before three in the morning, and I regretted my lack of sleep when Charlie woke me up around seven, giddy like a kid in a candy store.

"Come on Bells, I have a surprise for you," he exclaimed as I rubbed the palm of my hands against my eyes and began to adjust to the light in the room.

"Dad, you know I'm not five anymore right? I'm not that excited for Christmas. Can you give me ten minutes to get downstairs?" I asked as I heard a tiny barking noise coming from the main floor and my head shot up from my pillow. _He didn't… did he?_

"If you don't want to come down and see what I got you, that's fine," said Charlie non-chalantly, as I jumped up from the bed and grabbed my terry cloth robe from my chair. I quickly tossed it around myself and ran down the steps, two at a time, and came face to face with the cutest little German Shepherd puppy I had ever seen.

"Why… When… You…" I stammered, unable to form the proper words to express my gratitude. I had been begging Charlie for a dog ever since Renee had left and I had way too much free time on my hands. Unfortunately, a dog wasn't in the cards for me until this morning, apparently. When I looked up at Charlie, he had a look of pure elation on his face.

"One of the guys down at the station, Deputy Mark, has a big old dog called Leesie. Well, it had puppies several weeks ago and when he offered one too me, I couldn't pass up the chance to get one for us. I also figured I'd get lonely when you head off to school in a few months, so the pup here could keep me company," stated Charlie as he sat in his recliner and watched as I gave the puppy some belly rubs.

"I'm sure Scrappy would love that," I said as the dog tried to jump up and kiss my cheek, missing me and plowing into my chest instead. I let out a small laugh as my dad cocked his eye brow at me.

"Scrappy?" he said with a low chuckle while I simply nodded my head and watched the dog go underneath the Christmas tree and begin sniffing around at the few presents that lay there.

"Yeah… Scrappy. I always wanted to name a dog Scrappy and don't you think he looks like a resilient little buggar?" I asked as the dog began swatting at a bow I had placed on one of Charlie's gifts. "See… he's scrappy."

"Okay, I can handle Scrappy. It's certainly better than Edward's suggestion of calling it Charlie Jr.," he giggled as the dog began to bite at Charlie's slippers. I let out a long laugh and then was quickly surprised that Edward had known that Charlie was getting me the dog and hadn't mentioned anything. No wonder he was planning to come over to see me today; he probably just wanted to see the damn dog.

Charlie and I spent the next half an hour going through the gifts we had purchased each other and it was clear that Charlie had gotten Rosalie or Alice to get my presents, or both. There were decent looking sweaters and some gift cards for places I would actually go, and this was beyond the scope of his expertise. I had gotten Charlie some very practical gifts that he hinted about over the weeks prior to the holidays. A new fishing reel, some new flannel shirts and a subscription to his favorite magazine. Although come to think of it, I never saw him reading the damned fishing magazine that he had been getting every year since my sixth grade fundraiser while I was at Forks Middle School.

The dog seemed to like the colorful wrapping paper more than anything else and for the first little while, we had to make sure to keep it away from him so he didn't have it for lunch. Charlie showed me all the dog food, treats and other stuff he had gotten for Scrappy and then he took him into the backyard for some play time while I had a quick shower. When I came back down the stairs, my hair dried and my favorite old sweater keeping me warm, I looked out the kitchen window and saw my father and my boyfriend playing fetch with Scrappy and I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face as I headed outside to join them.

"Bella, go get a coat on," chastised Charlie the moment I walked out the door, but I just shrugged him off and continued heading over to where Edward was petting Scrappy's head while the dog panted happily.

"He seems smitten with you," I stated cheerfully as the dog bounced over to me and began pawing at my leg. I scooped him up in my arms and he began licking my face as Edward looked at him with envy. "Then again, all of us Swan's seem to love you."

Charlie passed by us and headed into the house and gave me a small harrumph since I was still without a coat. It wasn't overly cold outside for a Christmas morning, but it wasn't the middle of the summer either. Edward wrapped his arm over my shoulder and pulled me tight against him, kissing my temple as we heard the screen door close behind us.

"Merry Christmas love," he stated as my eyes grew wide, still shocked by our declarations from the night before. "Do you not like me calling you that?"

"No, it's perfectly fine, really," I said awkwardly as I tried to back track. "It's just all so new to me, having never had someone tell me that they love me before. Well, other than like Charlie, Alice and Rosalie I mean." Edward looked at me with a shocked expression before he turned towards me and kissed me softly on the lips, leaving me wanting more.

"I hope you can get used to it because I plan to tell you all the time that I love you." I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck and pulled him down to me, kissing him again, until Scrappy started to jump up and down at my side, tugging on my pants with his teeth as he tried to get my attention. Edward swatted his hand down at the dog, who then tried to bite at his fingers, thinking it was time to play. "This dog might not be that good of an idea. So much for sex in the middle of the afternoon huh?"

"I'll lock him up in Charlie's room and let him eat the world's largest collection of flannel outside of a lumberjack camp," I joked as Edward ran his hands slowly down my arms and then bent down to grab Scrappy and take him into the house.

"You are shivering and I don't want you catching a cold, so let's go inside and you can tell me what Santa brought you," Edward chuckled as I entwined my fingers in his and we headed inside the house, finding Charlie grabbing a can of beer from the fridge. "Are Billy and Jacob coming over later today?"

"Jealous are we?" I questioned Edward as he scoffed at me, as though my question was stupid. I knew the answer was that yes, he was jealous of Jacob. I could see he was upset at the easy rapport that Jacob and I shared, and every time I tried to reassure him that I thought of Jacob as nothing more than a little brother, it never seemed to quell his concerns.

"They're not coming over actually. Billy and Jake are spending Christmas Day with his future son-in-law's family because Rebecca got engaged two weeks ago. So it's just me and Bells," said my father as I quirked my eye brow at him, surprised to hear that Jake and Billy weren't coming over. Now the meal I had been planning to make just seemed a bit much.

"Did you guys want to come over to our house? I'm sure my mother won't mind since we're having like ten other people over," stated Edward as I shook my head in the negative.

"Thanks for the invite, but I think we will stay home. I hope you don't mind Edward," I said genuinely as I noticed the disappointment on his face. "I think we should stay and enjoy the ham I was going to make. Plus, Scrappy here needs some time to adjust to his new surroundings. Thanks for the invite, but really, we're gonna stay home."

"Alright," said Edward sounding really despondent as Charlie left the room with Scrappy following behind him, barking happily.

"Don't be disappointed please. I want to spend some time with my dad during the break and I've hardly seen him, plus it's not fair to leave Scrappy home alone on his first night here," I said tentatively as Edward wrapped his arms around me and breathed me in, making me shudder slightly.

"I understand Bella, really I do. You can't blame a guy for wanting to spend more time with his girlfriend though. Now, let's go play with Scrappy and see if he likes the toys I brought over," said Edward with a small grin as I nodded my head and he led me into the living room.

We sat on the floor in the living room for what seemed like hours, tossing a small rope around that Scrappy loved to play with. He had endless energy and as the afternoon drew to a close, I found myself being envious of him because I was becoming so tired. When Edward left to head back to his family dinner, I started to cook the ham and then laid down on the couch with Scrappy, taking a nap for over an hour.

The rest of our night was very low key. Charlie and I had dinner and I fed Scrappy some of the puppy food that Deputy Mark had brought over in the morning before I woke up. Charlie had even purchased a plush doggie bed that was way too big for Scrappy right now, but when he was a full grown dog, it would be perfect. I put it at the end of my bed and he was surprisingly well mannered as he sat in his bed for a bit, waiting for me to do something else. When he finally came to the realization that it was time for sleep, he gave up trying to play with a pair of my socks and finally went to bed, causing me to sleep restlessly for the rest of the night because I was worried about him.

Unfortunately for me, my lack of sleep continued for the next few nights. I was worried about how Scrappy was making the adjustment to living with me and Charlie, so I found myself napping during the daytime and having restless nights. I was just waking from a nap on Friday afternoon when Edward came into the living room, being allowed into the house by Charlie, who was home early from his shift.

"You're not dressed yet?" Edward asked confused as I rubbed my eyes and Scrappy jumped down from the couch and his position as my foot warmer.

"I'm sorry, I was a little tired from being up late at night with this little poop head," I said with a small chuckle as Edward bent down beside me and kissed the tip of my nose.

"Charlie, if it's alright with you, we're staying home tonight," Edward called out to the kitchen, where my father was in the process of ordering some pizza for himself for dinner and I heard him change the order from one medium to two. Edward and I were supposed to go to a New Years Eve party at Emmett's house, but it appeared that no matter what I said, we were staying home.

**EPOV**

We hadn't talked a lot during the days between Christmas and New Years and when I got to Bella's house and found her asleep on the couch, my heart clenched. She looked so tired, but when she woke up, she tried to reassure me that she was tired because she was up late with Scrappy. I knew dogs could be hard work, since we used to have a schnauzer named Turtle when I was younger, but I hated seeing her take on the job of the dog all by herself.

"Why don't you go have a shower and get comfortable? I'm going to take Scrappy for a walk and by the time both of us are done, dinner should be here, right Charlie?" I asked as I shouted into the kitchen.

"Yup, sounds like a plan," he called back as Bella sat up and nodded her head. I grabbed Scrappy's leash from the table by the front door and he began jumping all over the place, excited that he was going for a walk. I was just relieved that it wasn't snowing out right now, even though they were calling for some later in the night.

I swatted at Bella's ass as she slowly climbed the stairs and I headed out the door with the dog and his small doggy doo bags, which Charlie thrust at me as I held the door open for the dog to step out. We only walked for about five minutes before he had gone number two and pissed all over a fire hydrant and sniffed the butts of two other dogs in the neighborhood. Feeling somewhat pleased at our little trip, I dragged the little fur ball back to the house and found Charlie sitting in the living room watching the news.

"Has she been sleeping a lot?" I questioned as I sat on the couch after taking off my coat and shoes. Scrappy jumped up on the couch and nestled his head on my thigh as I rubbed behind his ears and waited patiently for a response from Charlie.

"No, not really. She has been up late at night with the pup though. I keep offering to help, but she always turns me down. Last night I heard the little guy barking at like three in the morning. Hell, I'd take a nap in the middle of the afternoon if it wouldn't get me fired," he said with a laugh as I nodded my head and he then began telling me about his interesting afternoon taking in a purse thief down at the local strip mall.

When Bella finally came down the stairs, her hair was dried straight and she was dressed in one of my hoodie sweatshirts and a pair of sweat pants. It wasn't the sexiest thing I had ever seen her in, but she looks sexy none the less. Scrappy ran over to her and began licking her feet to get any of the leftover water droplets from the shower and just as she was about to sit down, the doorbell rang signaling that dinner had arrived.

We ate in the living room, with Scrappy staring at us for any small morsel we were willing to share. Of course being the sweetheart that she is, Bella gave him a small piece of pepperoni and he ate it quickly and waited impatiently for more. I helped Bella clean up and feed the dog and then we headed upstairs to her bedroom, with Charlie's permission of course, where he thought we would be playing scrabble or something equally lame that was not in my plan.

Bella and I made out for a little while, our lips, hands and tongues exploring each other's bodies, with our clothes firmly in place and we were both taken aback when Charlie knocked on the door around ten thirty. We had gotten the go-ahead from him for me to stay until just after midnight so that we could celebrate New Year's Eve together, so his interruption was a bit of a surprise.

"Have either of you looked outside the window at all?" he questioned as he stood inside the door way and Bella straightened her shirt a bit and I stood from the bed, pushing the curtains aside. It was snowing like crazy. Not just some casual snowfall, like a mother fucking blizzard.

"Just wonderful. You're going to send Edward home and then we won't be able to spend New Year's Eve together, right?" Bella asked, the sadness at my impending departure clear in her voice. I sat back down and took her hand in mine, weaving our fingers together as we waited for Charlie to speak.

"Actually Bella, I was going to suggest that Edward call his parents and let them know he is spending the night here. The roads look really bad and I don't want him driving on them. You would probably be angry at me for sending him home in it anyways," said the Chief, as I looked at him with wide eyes, surprised he would let me stay.

"Thanks dad," Bella gushed happily as I looked at Charlie warily. There was no way this was going to be so simple… was there?

"Of course, he will be sleeping on the couch and not up here with you. Also, I would feel better if he was here since I might get called in if things get really bad, and there will be someone to watch out for you," he added as I nodded my head.

"Thanks Chief. I'll call my mom and dad and let them know," I said stoically as I walked out into the hallway and grabbed my cell phone from the back pocket of my jeans. I quickly dialed my parents' number and told my mom what was going on. She was relieved to hear I would be safe at the Chief's house overnight and asked me to call her early the next morning to let her know things were alright. I reluctantly agreed, feeling a bit like a child who had to check in with their parents constantly, but I knew she was just worried about me.

When I walked back into Bella's room, she was crying softly and being consoled by her father, who looked just as sad as she did. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, just sad to see another year go by," said Bella as she wiped some tears away while Charlie nodded his head in agreement, but I couldn't help but feel like I was left out of something. He left us alone a few minutes later and promised to bring me a pair of old school Forks Police Department sweats to sleep in as Scrappy followed Charlie out the door. He returned a few minutes later with some surprisingly comfortable pajamas for me and Charlie said he was heading to bed and preferred if Bella and I stayed downstairs, and not in her room… alone.

"Sure thing Chief," I said casually as I grabbed the clothes he brought and I went into the bathroom to get changed. When I walked downstairs five minutes later, Bella was already changed into a set of red check flannel pajamas and was sitting on the couch, stroking Scrappy's ears as he wagged his tail happily. "So, what are we gonna do now?"

"Movie?" questioned Bella as I sat beside her and wrapped my arm over her shoulder, pulling her tight against me.

"Do you think your father would hear you if we had sex right now?" I asked quietly, following it with a small laugh as Bella looked at me mortified for even asking. "Alright then, no sex with the Chief in the house. I can respect that. I might not like it, but I can respect it."

Bella swatted my shoulder playfully and we began to sort through the channels until she noticed a movie she wanted to watch, Best in Show, some dog movie that seemed to interest Scrappy more than me. I sat there laughing when Bella laughed and simply enjoyed the time we were spending together.

"So… college responses will be coming back soon," said Bella quietly as I turned my head around quickly and looked down at her face. Her head was buried into my shoulder and I couldn't see her eyes, so I had no idea how she was truly reacting to her question.

"Yeah, I guess they will," I said tentatively as my gaze turned back to the screen and I watched as the couple on screen argued over a dog toy for what seemed like forever.

"Do you think you will get in everywhere you applied?" Bella questioned as I felt her turn at my side, but I still couldn't see her face clearly. I shrugged my shoulders because I was simply uncertain and not willing to make any assumptions at this point. "You know you will Edward. You may come off like a jackass, but you are a smart one."

"So, I'm a smart ass huh?" I asked with a small laugh, in an attempt to break the tension that had just formed between us. Unfortunately, it didn't work. I knew this was something that we were going to discuss more in depth any day now, but did it have to be today? So much for a romantic New Year's Eve with my girlfriend, I thought to myself in disappointment.

"You know what I mean. You're going to get in everywhere that you applied and if you do, where will you go?" she asked and before I knew it I was saying 'Dartmouth' and the remorse set in. Bella started to tear up and pulled away from me and I was reminded why the hell I hadn't dated anyone seriously before. She was untouchable to me. She was the girl who stayed in the small town and ran PTA meetings and made cupcakes for bake sales. I was not that guy, even though right about now, I wanted to be that for her. I would do anything for her. "Dartmouth huh? Where does the University of Washington rank on your list?"

"What difference does it make where UW ranks?" I asked crankily. I was frustrated that this was where our night had gone. I had thought we would be enjoying the party at Emmett's and maybe sneaking in some sex in his parents' room or something, but instead I was having the last conversation that I wanted to have on New Year's Eve.

"It makes all the difference Edward," said Bella as she turned her entire body and sat against the far side of the couch, her arms now crossed against her chest. "You know if you don't go to UW, we probably won't be together right? You'll break up with me before you head off to college to sew your wild oats or whatever the fuck the phrase is."

"I wasn't planning to fucking break up with you so I could sew my wild oats Bella. I was planning to have a long distance relationship with my girlfriend and find ways to visit her as often as I could. I was hoping she would want to come and see me wherever the hell I ended up, and maybe consider transferring for the next year," I stated firmly as I grabbed the back of my neck out of frustration. "You are automatically assuming that when the summer is over that I will be eager to break up with you, while I am struggling to find ways to keep us together. If you don't want me to try… why are we bothering now?"

"That's not fair. You are making it sound like I am a bitch because I want you to stay here and go to UW with me."

"What if you don't get into UW Bella, or even worse, if you can't afford it and have to go somewhere else?" I questioned her as the tears started to fall from her eyes. I didn't want to make her cry, but I wanted her to see my point of view. "Bella, I love you with all of my heart, but I can't just sit here and forgo my dreams of an Ivy League college. Why can't I have you and college Bella?"

"I don't know Edward … I don't know how we will survive the distance of you being across the country." Bella suddenly stood up from her seat on the couch and turned to head up the stairs, which surprised me. "There's a pillow and blanket on the recliner, Charlie brought them down for you."

"Why are you leaving Bella? We were having a serious discussion and you feel the need to walk away? You don't even want to ring in New Year's with me?" I asked dejectedly as I heard her first footstep hit the wood of the stairs.

"I'm not feeling overly festive right now. Goodnight Edward."

With those words, she was gone up the stairs and I listened in frustration as she shut her bedroom door firmly behind her and then grabbed the pillow and blanket, throwing them onto the couch in annoyance. I lay down and stared at the ceiling, pissed off that Bella wasn't willing to discuss college any further. I wanted to stay with her, but I didn't want to stay home, so it was a bit of a double edged sword that I was precariously balancing on.

I turned off the TV and turned onto my side, staring out the window at the snow that continued to fall. I wrapped the blanket tightly over my body and listened quietly as the clock on their mantle chimed to signal that it was midnight.

"Happy New Year Bella," I muttered quietly, but somehow I didn't think this year was going to be that good.

**A/N: Before you guys all send me hate mail, just know that Bella is being irrational in her thoughts and words to Edward. She's selfish because she wants him to stay in Washington with her and is not taking his wants and dreams into consideration. **


	21. My Moment of Truth

**A/N: I know it seems like it has been forever since I updated this story, but I had a little bit of a block getting out this major chapter, because this is a major turning point for our Edward & Bella. So instead of forcing out a chapter I wasn't happy with, I wrote a few one shots instead, like Room 15, which will be a multi chaptered story in the near future.**

**HUGE thanks to my regular crew, fucktastic beta MaggieMay14, and my gals' flightlessbird11, beegurl13 and Risbee12. LOL. I am hoping it won't be so long between the next chapter, but I do have 4 more one-shots to be written thanks to the wonderful girls who bought my services in the Fandom Gives Back auction. I'm already working on one of them, so expect something soon.**

**I don't own Twilight. I do finally own a Canadian cell phone, woo hoo!**

**EPOV**

The next few weeks, the relationship between Bella and I was strained, to put it mildly. We still spent our afternoons after school together, but it wasn't the same as it had been before the holidays. There was no hours spent cuddling and talking about school or are messed up families. There were no sweet kisses and languid touches that made both of us crazy with desire until we were unable to take it anymore. It was basically just us doing our homework or watching TV until the Chief came home and then I would leave. There was also very few times where we spoke of our love for one another. Every time I thought to speak it, something would interrupt us, being her father, my mother or the phone.

Bella was withdrawn and though I tried like crazy to get her to open up to me, it was like talking to a brick wall sometimes and her stubbornness was driving me insane. She had missed a few classes during the past few weeks; usually they were at the end of the school day though. Rosalie and Alice were usually gone with her and they all claimed to have gone shopping, but I wasn't stupid enough to think that the Chief would allow Bella to skip school to go shopping in Port Angeles.

"If she's trying to push me away, she's doing a wonderful job," I admitted to Jasper Friday after school as we waited for Bella and Alice to come and join us. The four of us were supposed to head into Port Angeles together after school to catch a movie and have dinner, and we were waiting for them to join us to leave.

During health class, Bella had been a bit distant and I tried not to take it personally, but I couldn't help it. If it wasn't for our arguments on New Years Eve, life would have been normal, better than usual possibly. Instead, I was dealing with an emotionally secluded girlfriend who hardly wanted to spend time with me. Every night when I would go home from spending time with Bella, I would be just as removed from my own family as she had been with me, and it wasn't healthy, but I didn't know what to do. Esme questioned my behaviour and I chalked it up to me being nervous about the impending rejections or acceptances from the universities I had applied to. I was getting very good at lying to my parents when I needed to.

"Have a little patience with her Edward, maybe she's got some shit going on you don't know about," said Jasper, his voice cracking as he broke through my thought process and reminded me of our conversation. His words floated around my brain for a moment before I realized that his words implied that he knew something was going on and he wasn't telling me.

"What the hell do you know?" I asked him angrily as he raised his hands and shook his head in the negative fiercely. Jasper looked downright scared as he put his arms down to his side and began to speak.

"Listen man …" he began to say as Alice and Bella strolled out of the main building of the school and wandered over to join us. Alice wrapped her arm tightly around Jasper's waist as he finally found the courage to finish speaking. "Contrary to what you think, I know nothing."

"Ain't that the truth," Emmett called out as he walked up behind Jasper, with Rosalie by this side, and smacked Jasper upside the back of the head. "I still have no idea how you will manage to graduate this year, Ricky Bobby."

"Thanks for the support douche bag," responded Jasper, the frustration clear in his voice. The two boys continued arguing over nothing, with Alice and Rosalie joining in to support their men, which was a bit asinine in my opinion. "I'll have you know I did excellent on my SAT's. I have a 660 in critical reading, 640 Math and 700 in writing."

"What the fuck?" stated Emmett, his mouth opened wide in shock. "Those are better than my scores… and Rosie's too man."

"Yeah, well just because I can't afford to go to a good school and I sometimes act like a lunatic, doesn't mean I'm a fucking idiot Emmett," declared Jasper as he pulled his friend into a headlock and began rubbing his fist furiously against Emmett's scalp, making him fight as hard as he could against Jasper's machinations. "Come on Emmett, say I'm smart asshole." There was a bunch of grunts and groans coming from Emmett, but not once did he admit that Jazz was smarter than him.

In an effort to distract Bella from the scene in front of us, I entwined my fingers in hers and pulled her to the side and away from what had now turned into full on wrestling between them. I wasn't worried because after over fifteen years of their friendship, I knew that five minutes from now they would be joking with each other and everything would be normal again. However, Bella seemed anxious.

"Are you alright? You do realize they are just playing around right?" I asked as Jasper suddenly shoved a handful of snow down Emmett's shirt, making him yelp out as the cold ice hit his skin, which was funny as hell.

"Yeah, I'm all good," Bella said stoically as she looked over at Alice, who was looking back at both of us with a sad expression on her face. When she noticed me looking at her, her frown turned into a large smile, but I could tell she was faking it. I hadn't been born yesterday, and I was certain something was going on. "I think I am going to cancel on the movie though. I'm feeling pretty tired and should catch up on some sleep."

"Okay, I'll come home with you. We can nap on the couch until the Chief gets home. Surely he won't have anything against an honest to goodness nap, right?" I asked genuinely as Bella gave me a rather weak smile, further inciting my thought that something was going on since she hadn't smiled at me in days. "I just want to spend some time with you. I don't even care if you are unconscious for it. I feel like we're drifting apart, and I love you too much to let that happen."

As if on cue, Emmett came over and splattered a snowball on the top of my head, ruining the moment between Bella and I. Her eyes filled up with tears from laughing so hard, but she never gave me a yes or no answer about me coming over to have a nap. I brushed the snow from the collar of my coat and my hair and looked around for Emmett, my eyes narrowed in anger.

"Could you be anymore of a jackass?" I questioned as I watched him help Rosalie into her truck and then he turned around to face me, a wide grin on his face, showcasing his very defined dimples. How could he be so fucking gallant with his girlfriend one moment and then turn around and be a complete ass to me? Perhaps I should have my father check him out for bipolar disorder next time he's in for a doctor's appointment, I thought to myself casually.

"Probably. Did you want to find out?" he questioned as he grabbed a pile of snow from the ground beside him and I took a step away from him and groaned. Why the hell was I best friends with such a childish idiot?

"Hell no. Leave me the fuck alone McCarty," I cursed out as I reached over for Bella, but she was turning away from me and I grabbed her wrist tightly by accident to keep her close. I instantly pulled my hand away, but Bella was quick to grasp her wrist and rub it gently as though it hurt. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to do that."

"I know," she said sadly as Jasper came up and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, making the situation even more distracting. I was frustrated beyond belief at the constant interruptions as I tried to talk to Bella, and unfortunately for Jasper, he came up to me at the wrong time. "Dude, what the hell do you want?"

"I want to go to the fucking movies and feel up my girlfriend. Then I want to take her to dinner and suck face with her until I am forced to take her home because I fear her father coming at me with a shotgun," Jazz stated firmly as I turned my head and looked at him, my entire body about to start shaking with anger. All I wanted was time with my girlfriend and for the rest of them to go away. "Are you guys coming or not?"

"No," I said simply, not regretting my words, even though it meant I wasn't going out on a double date with my girlfriend.

"Do we get to watch you feel up Alice?" chimed in Emmett as I turned around and saw Bella about to get into Rosalie's truck with her. I ran over to the passenger side and grabbed the door, keeping it closed, before she got in.

"Are you really going to leave me here without saying anything? I'm sorry I grabbed your wrist; I just wanted you to stay with me. I really want to spend the afternoon with you, preferably alone," I stated emphatically as she bowed her head slightly and I reached my hand up to rub her cheek sweetly. It felt oddly warm for the middle of January, especially since had been standing outside in the bitter cold for almost ten minutes.

Alice and Jasper bid us farewell and got into his truck, taking off slowly over the snow covered roads as I turned back to Bella, pulling her against my chest to comfort her. I had no idea what was going on with her, but I couldn't handle seeing her like this. It literally broke my heart to see her so sad and disconnected.

"Rosalie needs to get something from my house. Can you come over in like half an hour?" Bella asked quietly as I kissed her temple and quickly agreed. I helped her into the oversized behemoth of a truck and closed the door behind her, watching as the girls drove away, leaving me with Emmett at my side.

"Something is going on," said Emmett as I looked at him, my eyes brimming with surprise as I found relief in the fact that he felt the same way I did. "I don't know about you, but those girls have been acting weird for days."

"I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that," I said with a small sigh as we started walking over to where our cars sat parked beside each other in the lot. Almost everyone else had left for the day, with the exception of teachers and staff, and it was kind of disconcerting to notice the silence of the school. "Do you have any idea what is going on?"

"Oh, I have all sorts of theories, all of them involving Rosalie planning something epic for Valentine's Day in a few weeks. She's already been hinting about the fact that her parents are going to Vegas for the weekend, so I'm certain there will be all sorts of shit going on in her house that weekend, all of which involves her being naked as much as possible," said Emmett excitedly as I rolled my eyes at him. When it came to Rosalie and sex, he really was like a kid in a candy store. He also never thought that anything was out of bounds and I knew way too much about Rosalie's sexual preferences than I would have preferred to know. It was all a little disturbing actually.

"I hate to burst your bubble dude, but I think something else is going on. Why wouldn't Bella just let me drive her home and I could watch TV in the living room while Rosalie got whatever the hell it was she needed? Doesn't that make the most sense?" I explained as I watch Emmett nod his head slowly in agreement. "I think something more serious is going on and no one is telling me shit. Even Jasper knows something and is hiding it from me."

"I'm sure you are just overreacting man. The girls are probably nervous about getting their acceptance notices to college or they are already thinking about prom or some shit," he said casually as I opened the door to my shitty little car and sat down, starting the ignition as the loud music I had been listening to in the morning overwhelmed us. "Actually, Rosalie has been acting a bit weird lately. What if one of the girls is pregnant?"

Pregnant.

Shit.

I never even though about that. Could that be the problem? Bella and I had been so fucking careful every single time we had been together, there was no way. Hell, we hadn't even done anything since Christmas Eve, so there was no way she could be pregnant right? I suddenly began second guessing every single moment we had together sexually and wondered if something could be up.

"Nah, that can't be it. Rosalie was angry as a fucking bull last week, so I knew she was PMS'ing. What about Bella? Do you think...?" questioned Emmett as I quickly interrupted him.

"No. Definately not. We're careful and she is on the pill. It's not even a possibility."

_Or is it?_

My cell phone rang in my front seat and it was my mother, asking me to come home as soon as possible. I informed her that I had plans with Bella and she assured me that it wasn't bad news. She then began to guilt trip me about how pretty soon I would be gone away to college and she wouldn't have the luxury of seeing me everyday, and I gave up, agreeing to head home for a moment before heading to Bella's house. I said a quick farewell to Emmett and glanced at the clock on my dashboard. I had twenty minutes before I had to get to Bella's so I reluctantly made my way home, feeling anxious the entire time.

When I walked in the door, my senses were assaulted by the scent of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. I pulled my shoes off and made it through the house to find my mother in the kitchen putting another tray of cookies into the oven. "Good, you're home. Carlisle, Edward's home," she called out loudly as I put my hands over my ears to save them from her noisy assault. "How was school? How is Bella doing?"

Before I had a chance to reply, my father strolled in the room looking rather smug, and I was immediately disconcerted. "Is there something you need to tell us?"

"Yeah, I'm supposed to be over at Bella's working on some stuff for health class," I lied easily, as I grabbed a warm cookie from the cookie sheet and shoved it into my mouth. "So can you bag up some cookies? I'm sure Bella would love to taste some of your homemade goodies." I waited patiently as my mom began practically bouncing on her toes and my dad handed me three large envelopes. I sifted through each one, Dartmouth, Emory and Princeton, and my stomach sank. There was no doubt in my mind that I had been accepted, since I doubted that the schools sent out rejection letters in such large, thick envelopes.

I tore at each one frantically and pulled out the extensive packages, each one advising me that I had been accepted as my mother smiled brightly, waiting for me to say something. I tossed the pages on the table and sat down, resting my elbows on the table and my head on my hands. What the hell was I going to do? How the hell would I tell Bella I was leaving? If she was actually pregnant, what the hell would we do then?

I stood up from the kitchen chair and headed towards the front door, tugging on my shoes again as I grabbed at my keys on the small table by the door. "Aren't you going to say something?" pleaded my mother as she followed me from the kitchen, my dad close behind her.

"I got in to all three obviously and I have no idea what the heck I am going to do. I need to go out for a drive," I said honestly as my mother shook her head and my dad looked at me with disappointment in his eyes. "I know what you want to say... follow my heart right?" I asked my dad as I opened the front door and stood there for a moment, waiting for him to say something.

"No, you should listen to your gut. Dartmouth has been your dream for a long time Edward; don't let your love for Bella cloud your dreams. If you guys are meant to be, it will happen," he said without any emotion as I grabbed the door and closed it firmly behind me. I got into the car and sat there for a few minutes before I grabbed the wheel and began shaking it angrily, eventually reaching my hands up to pound against it, as though taking my frustrations out against my steering wheel would make me feel better.

It didn't.

**BPOV**

"Thanks for doing this for me, really," I said genuinely to Rosalie as we pulled into the driveway of my house after stopping at the pharmacy in town. My palms continued to sweat and my whole body felt tired, yet hot as we sat in the truck, looking at each other silently. Rosalie, Alice and I were so close, that she didn't need to ask questions to know something as wrong. Having gone through turmoil with me before, Rosalie just offered her support the only way she knew how, by acting normal and being my friend.

"Bella, you never have to thank me. Do you want me to come in for a bit?" she questioned as I quickly shook my head. Edward was due at any moment and I really needed some time alone before he arrived. I had so much to wrap my head around and not enough time in the day to do it.

"No I'll be fine. I just need a little time alone and then Edward will be here. I have no idea what the hell to say to him though," I admitted as Rosalie leaned over the center console and pulled me into an awkward half hug thing.

"He loves you, so whatever you decide to tell him, he'll be supportive. I think you have waited_ way_ too long to tell him in my opinion, but you've heard me say that for a while now, so I will shut up," said Rosalie as she covered her hand over her mouth and I let out a small laugh. Other than the snowball incident with Emmett earlier in the day, it felt like it had been a long time since I had laughed, and it felt really good.

"Thanks Rosalie," I said quickly as I grabbed my backpack and my bag from the store and hopped down from her truck, my shoes slipping slightly on the ice and snow mixture coating the driveway. I didn't fall though, catching myself on the step of her truck before righting myself. "I'm all good, I swear," I said through clenched teeth as Rosalie looked down at me from the open truck door, which I was then quick to close behind me.

She drove away the moment I was safely in the house and I practically ran upstairs, opening up the small container from the pharmacy and swallowing down my pill without water. I had gotten used to that in my short life and even though it sucked, it was a necessary evil. I hid the container behind some other items in the bathroom cabinet and then stepped into my room to get changed into something more comfortable, choosing some warm sweat pants and a heavy sweatshirt. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and settled down to watch TV on the couch until Edward arrived.

A little while later, I was woken up by the sound of loud pounding on my front door, and I rubbed my eyes and looked at the clock as I stood up. It was already after four in the afternoon, and I had been asleep for almost an hour. When I opened the door, Edward stood there looking very frantic as he stepped in and kissed me rather forcefully, which left me gasping for air.

"Weren't you supposed to be here like half an hour ago?" I questioned him as he nodded his head slowly and pulled off his shoes, leaving them beside the front door to dry, as they were covered in snow. Edward laced my fingers into his cold ones and pulled me into the living room, where he sat on the couch and pulled me down onto his lap. He was clearly upset about something, but he wasn't speaking. In fact, we sat curled up in each other's arms for almost five minutes before either of us said anything at all. "What's wrong?"

"I could ask you the same question," he said calmly as my eyes grew wide. What the hell did he know? I had been thinking about talking to him about everything that was running wild in my mind, but each time I thought I had worked up the nerve to tell him, nothing came out of my mouth. Now, that I found myself not prepared to talk to him, I decided the only thing I could do was lie. We had promised each other not to lie or hurt each other, but I had been doing it the entire time we had been together. Why couldn't I just tell him the truth? He would love me even if I was broken… wouldn't he?

"I have no idea what you are talking about Edward," I lied as I rested my hand over his heart and leaned my head down onto his shoulder. If I could have stayed there forever with him, I would have. If I told him what was going on, I would most definitely break his heart. I couldn't do that to Edward. I was much more of a suffer in silence type and I would continue as long as I had to. I wasn't just protecting him by keeping silent; I was protecting myself as well. I couldn't lose him.

"We haven't had sex in a month."

"Is that what this is about? You're disappointed because I haven't been putting out like a good little girlfriend?" I lashed out angrily as he looked at me, his eyes betraying his words. He hadn't meant it, but he had said it anyways. I turned my entire body and straddled him, pulling my sweatshirt off, the cold air hitting my now bare chest like a tidal wave, making me shiver. "Is this what you fucking wanted?"

I grabbed his face in my hands and pulled him towards me, our lips crashing together, but no real kissing going on. There was no love or tenderness in the kiss, merely a touch of lips, which felt empty to me. Edward grasped onto my upper arms and tried to push me away from him, which was fairly easy considering how tired I was. I hopped up from his lap and grabbed my shirt, pulling it over my head swiftly as Edward just sat there awestuck.

"So I offer myself to you and reject me, thanks," I uttered sarcastically as I grabbed my drink, taking a big sip. The water went down easily, but I didn't feel sated. "Are you just going to sit there and look at me like nothing is happening between us Edward?"

"No. This isn't what I fucking wanted Bella. I wanted my girlfriend to be open with me and tell me what the fuck is going on, so I decided to goad you, which worked perfectly I might add. Emmett had me completely paranoid that you were pregnant, but then you pulled off your fucking shirt and I saw how sickly and pale you looked. What the fuck is going on?" Edward said as he jumped from the couch and walked around it, furiously grabbing the back of it as though his life depended on it. I had no answer for him. Nothing that could make the feeling of anger and hurt that was clearly boiling up inside of him go away. "Talk to me."

"What do you want me to say Edward? No, I'm not fucking pregnant, does that make you happy?" I asked him as I paced the length of the room, keeping my distance from him. His entire body was shaking and I wanted nothing more than to go over and comfort him, run my fingers through his hair and reassure him that everything would be alright, but I didn't know what to say to him. I could argue with him until I was blue in the face, but it wouldn't make this any less hard for him.

"No, it doesn't make me happy," he confessed, his voice cracking slightly as he bent over the couch and rested his head against a cushion for a moment before standing up, his eyes red with tears. "I got into Dartmouth, Emory and Princeton. My mom called as I was leaving school and she had me come home to find out."

"Are you going to go to one of them?" I asked quietly as I watched him shrug his shoulders in uncertainly.

"I'm waiting to hear back from the other schools before I make a decision," he said as I just nodded my head. If he got into those schools, surely the rest would accept him. They would be stupid not to. "I'm not ready to make a decision yet, so I'm choosing not to. I'm going to ignore the envelopes and hope they go away."

"They won't go away Edward."

"Well I can just pretend they don't exist. I just think about it right now when I have you to worry about. All I want is to spend time with my girlfriend, with no worries or concerns looming over us," he said as he moved slowly around the couch and opened his arms, inviting me in. I was eager to be enveloped by him, to smell his distinct scent and bask in it, but I knew I was delaying the inevitable. By not telling him everything, I was ignoring something that needed to be faced, just like he was with college. "I love you Bella. With everything I have, I love you."

Tears began to well up in my eyes as I felt his hands ghost down my arms gently. "I love you too," I said honestly as I tried to hold back the waterworks that were threatening to come from my eyes. We stood there for what seemed like an eternity, calming each other with our touch and reassuring the other that we would get through anything as long as we were together. If only I believed the words we spoke to each other. I was resigned to the fact that in a few months Edward would be going off to school. Contrary to what he may have said to me, heading out east and going to a prestigious university was his dream. Who the hell was I to keep him from it?

"Can we sit down? I'm feeling a bit tired," I said to Edward as he pulled us over to the couch and we resumed our earlier position with me sitting on his lap as he wrapped his strong arms around me.

"What happened here?" Edward asked as his fingers danced from my palm towards my wrist where small bruises had formed. "This isn't from this afternoon is it?" he questioned, his eyes narrowing as he glanced between my wrist and my face, my expression clearly giving me away. Edward held my hand and then wrapped his fingers around my wrist, illustrating that it had been his slight grab from earlier in the day that had caused my bruises. He looked crestfallen as he looked up at me with concern. "What the fuck is going on Bella?"

"There's nothing going on," I said, trying to sound convincing. Why couldn't we just enjoy the rest of our time together, no matter how short it would be?

"Bullshit," he stated emphatically as he lifted me from his lap and I moved to cower in the corner of the couch, expecting the worst. "Why can't you just be honest with me about whatever the fuck is going on? Jasper tried to tell me something today…" he said as I interrupted him.

"What did he say?"

"Nothing… he said nothing. He kept your precious little secret, whatever the fuck it is. Why the hell does Jasper know something and I know nothing? You and I have barely talked about anything since New Years Eve and to say we are slipping away from each other would be an understatement," said Edward as he let out a huge sigh and continued yelling at me. "You never smile anymore, you rarely let me hold you and now you are keeping things from me, which concerns me more than anything else. Just talk to me, please!"

As if on cue, my father walked in the front door, brushing the snow from his thick police issue coat and looked into the living room in surprise. Edward didn't notice him though, so he didn't back down from his argument like I thought he would. Instead, he continued his rant, oblivious to everything else.

"Just talk to me. I have been in love with you since the fourth fucking grade and when I finally get the balls to tell you I am in love with you, a couple of days later you back away from me emotionally and physically, how do you think that makes me feel? Did you ever fucking love me?" he pleaded, his eyes full of sadness and despair. I wanted nothing more than to go to him and reassure him that everything I wanted was standing before me, but I couldn't move from the couch.

"Of course I loved you."

"Loved… past tense? Are you not in love with me anymore? It's been less than a month since we said we loved each other Bella. Did you honestly fall out of love with me so quickly?"

"No.. I didn't… that not what I meant… " I yelled in frustration, my anger boiling up and making me shake uncontrollably, as I couldn't find the right words to say to make him understand. How the hell could I tell him what was going on knowing that I was going to break his heart? Then again, Edward not knowing the truth was breaking his heart just as much, because I was shutting him out as I tried to keep my secret. "I can't tell you. You'll leave me Edward. They always fucking leave me. Just like Renee left me."

"Edward, I think it's time you went home now son," said Charlie as he came into the room and sat beside me, wrapping his arms tightly around me in an effort to get me to stop my shaking. "Edward. Go now."

"No… not until Bella gives me an answer," shouted Edward, angering my father as he tried his best to soothe me, to no avail.

"She's sick Edward. Now go home."

"No."

My father released me from his grasp and stood up, grabbing Edward's arm in his hand firmly as he pulled him from the room and towards the front door. I curled my body into a small body ball and laid on the couch, my tears flowing feeling as I mumbled slowly to myself. I could hear their voices over my mumbles, but I wished I hadn't, as Charlie began to confess my deepest secrets to Edward.

"She'll be better soon Edward. You just need to go home and let her rest," said my father tensely. "She's gone through it before and survived. She will do it again, just have faith."

"Have faith about what Charlie? This is my problem. What the hell is wrong with her?" Edward's voice was pleading and terse as I heard him gasp slightly. Charlie was no doubt crying because of everything and I was slowly falling asleep out of sheer exhaustion as my sobs were so loud, I could barely hear what they were saying. When I paused my crying for a moment to catch my breath, I heard the words I had been dreading to hear again.

"She has leukemia."

**A/N: Okay, I know some of you had suspicions about this, which just shows how well you were paying attention, because I have been dropping hints since like Chapter 1. Yes, this was always in the game plan for this story, but I promise you, this story isn't about the disease Bella is suffering through, it's about her relationship with Edward.**

**Have a Little Faith and stick with me. It will continue to be a bumpy ride.**

**For a little more insight into this story, why don't you check out the song 'The Resolution' by Jack's Mannequin, which is where I got the title from. Thanks Flightlessbird11 for the reference!**


	22. My Lack of Clarity

**A/N: I am SOOO sorry for taking so long with this update. I had some major blockage issues that I hope some recent conversations with my awesome beta MaggieMay14 have fixed, but I guess only time will tell.**

**Thanks to my lovely pre-readers Tilly Whitlock, Kiki Enimga, Beegurl13 and Risbee, who gave me some great insight for this chapter which made me add like 1,500 words. My girl flightlessbird11 is too much of a wussperv to handle the heartfail, so she's on pre-reading hiatus.**

**Anywhoo, I don't own twilight. I do however have the latest Harry Potter on DVD, which I plan to watch after I post this chapter.**

_**What happened last chapter?**_

"_Edward, I think it's time you went home now son," said Charlie as he came into the room and sat beside Bella, wrapping his arms tightly around her in an effort to get me to stop my shaking. "Edward. Go now."_

"_No… not until Bella gives me an answer," I shouted, angering the Chief as he tried his best to soothe Bella, to no avail. _

"_She's sick Edward. Now go home."_

"_No."_

_The Chief released Bella from his grasp and stood up, grabbing my arm in his hand firmly as he pulled me from the room and towards the front door. _

"_She'll be better soon Edward. You just need to go home and let her rest," said the Chief tensely. "She's gone through it before and survived. She will do it again, just have faith."_

"_Have faith about what Charlie? This is my problem. What the hell is wrong with her?" my voice was pleading and terse as I heard him gasp slightly. _

"_She has leukemia."_

**EPOV**

What the hell did he just say? I blinked at Charlie several times as though I thought it would make everything he just said go away or perhaps he could be lying to me. However, when I looked up at Charlie's face and I saw the sadness behind his usually very reserved eyes, I knew he couldn't make what he said disappear, even though I was certain he desperately wanted it to.

"I think you should go home for tonight Edward," said Charlie as I looked at him with frustration. He couldn't just drop this on me and then make me leave, how fair was that? "Bella won't want you to leave her, but I think you need to get some answers from your father and I need to talk to my daughter... alone."

I was about to say something in response, but I could tell by his facial expression that he wasn't going to back down from this. I angrily grabbed my book bag from beside the door, where I had dropped it when I came into the house, and I took one final look into the living room, my heart breaking as I looked at Bella on the couch. Tears had stopped streaming down her face, but her eyes were red and puffy, as she was curled up in a little ball. It looked to me like she was sleeping, but I honestly couldn't tell. I turned my face away and nodded briefly at Charlie before pulling the door open fiercely. "I love your daughter sir."

"I know you do Edward, I don't doubt that in the least. However, I need to know you can handle this. It won't be an easy ride, I know... we've been there before." My mind was filled with the Chief's cryptic words, but I held back my desire to punch my fist through a wall in frustration. Why was I left in the dark and what the hell did my father know?

"I'm stronger than you may think I am, but I don't know what to do with this... information."

"Give it time Edward, you will figure it out. Now go talk to your father." The Chief held the door open and the cold air hit me against the face as I walked outside. I practically ran down the steps and towards my car, throwing open the door and tossing my bag into the backseat. When I sat down in the front seat, I realized that my entire body was shaking and I had no idea what the fuck to do. I was a fucking wreck, to put it mildly. I put the key in the ignition and turned on my beater of a car, and drove away as the sounds of 'Lost' by Coldplay poured through the speakers of the Volvo.

I started driving, with no particular destination in mind, the snow laden trees passing by me as I drove out of town and towards one of the places that reminded me the most of Bella. I hadn't meant to come here, but I was driving with no forethought to a destination and this was where I ended up. The parking lot was slightly slick, but I didn't care. I parked towards the back of the lot, the trunk of my car backing onto the tree line behind it and then I got out and for some reason, decided to sit on the hood of the car, as snow started to fall around me. I then let out a deep breath as I stared at Lake Olympia where I had watched Bella all summer.

She had been so happy and carefree all summer as she lay out in the sun with Alice and Rosalie, chatting about whatever the hell they talked about. Almost every time I found Bella out here in the summer, I stayed and watched her, trying to be as covert as possible. I hadn't yet given up my plan to stay away from her, so I was serious in my attempts to keep my distance. I couldn't decide at this moment which was the worst decision; staying away for so long or to getting involved with her in the first place.

I pulled my legs up to my chest in an effort to keep warm and my mind began running through everything that had happened this afternoon. Bella was sick, and it wasn't any of this cough due to cold shit either. She was very sick, which first made me wonder why the hell she was still in school. Shouldn't she be in the hospital getting better? I scratched anxiously at my scalp, my wet hair threading effortlessly through my fingers as I grabbed at the back of my neck, which was one of my nervous habits. I couldn't shake the image of Bella lying on the couch, looking so fragile and heartbroken. She thought I was leaving her and it was the moment her father told me she was sick that I knew I wasn't going anywhere.

"_I can't tell you. You'll leave me Edward. They always fucking leave me. Just like Renee left me."_

I couldn't leave her regardless of what was going on. UW would accept me and I would go there, bringing Bella to Seattle with me if I could, but there was no way I could go away to school. As much as going to an Ivy League school and getting the hell out of dodge had been a dream of mine... I wanted Bella more. I wanted her healthy, I wanted her safe and I wanted her with me always.

"_Of course I loved you."_

Suddenly, those words filled my mind and I began to freak out even more. Did she stop loving me? Was I just some sort of pawn because she wanted to do something on her list? Jesus, the fucking list. I jumped down from the hood and began walking around aimlessly, the snow slushy against my shoes and as the cold wetness seeped through the fabric of my sneakers, but I found myself not giving a shit. The cold was actually a welcome distraction from the epic fuckery that was my life at this particular moment.

My brain wandered back to the list, which I now realized was something I never expected it to be; _a fucking bucket list_. She knew she was sick and she wanted to do all of this shit before she died. I couldn't help but feel a little sick to my stomach as I wondered if this was all a game to her. She did her bungee jumping, her skinny dipping and lord knows what else was on it. Was I on that list... 'Fuck Edward Cullen and break his heart?' I shook my head from that thought because I knew there was no way that Bella was that callous. If it was Jessica on the other hand, she'd use any illness as a guilt trip to try and get into my pants. I shuddered momentarily as that idea crossed my mind and then I noticed I was quiet a distance away from the parking lot, so I turned around and began walking back.

With each step I took back towards the Volvo, I had a new question that I needed answered. Why didn't I know sooner that something was wrong? Had I missed all sorts of signs that would have clued me in earlier? What the hell did the Chief mean when he said they had been through this before? Fuck... Rosalie and Alice definitely knew, of course they did. They knew everything else about Bella and were closer to her than anyone else, so why would this be any fucking different? Their allegiance lay with Bella, so why the hell would they tell me if she was dying. Is this what Jasper knew and he refused to tell me?

"_She has leukemia."_

Those words rang in my ears and as they began to sink in, and I found myself running towards the woods and throwing up violently. I rested my hands on my knees as I bent over and heaved until I felt empty and then the dry heaves began as my entire body ached. All of this was followed by me collapsing onto the cold ground as my cell phone began to ring in my pocket. I fished it out reluctantly and groaned when I saw it was Emmett and not Bella. However, if it was Bella, would I have answered it?

"Where are you?" he breathed into the phone when I finally answered it several rings later, after sitting up, my legs now covered in mud and grass.

"Why does it fucking matter?" I questioned; my voice sore and sounding very rough as I spoke. I reached up and rubbed my neck, hoping to alleviate the pain, but all I succeeded in doing was rubbing mud from my hand and onto my neck.

"Rosalie was here and she got a call from Bella's dad and ran out of here like a bat out of hell. What did you do?" he asked casually as I stood up and groaned, my body making me feel forty years older than I really was. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Is your brother home?" I asked, ignoring his questions and focusing on what I needed to make the pain and my mind go away.

"Yeah, why? Are you going to answer my questions dick?"

"I need booze… lots of fucking liquor. I'm coming over, have him get me a bottle or two of Jack Daniels and I will pay him double for it," I said stoically as I heard Emmett sigh on the other end, clearly not wanting to tell me in what was obviously my time of need. Hell, if I had ever needed booze… today was the day.

"I don't know what the fuck has gotten into you Edward, but I will tell him. When you get here, you will answer my damned questions or I won't let you get the bottle from Kevin," Emmett said fiercely as I groaned loudly in response. "I mean it man. What the fuck is going on with you?"

"I'll be there in like twenty minutes, I'm at Lake Olympia." I didn't even wait to hear if Emmett said anything else because I hung up the phone and then turned it off as I then tried to clean myself up, only doing a good job of getting more mud on my hands. I finished heading over to the Volvo and grabbed a blanket from the back and began to ruin it, as I attempted to clean the mud from myself, to no avail finally giving up and throwing the ruined blanket in the back seat.

I got into the car and turned it on, letting it heat up for a moment as I tried to compose myself. I rested my forehead against the wheel briefly before finally just slamming it into gear and driving away from the lake and towards Emmett's house. I couldn't bear to be at the lake any longer because it was filled with memories of Bella. The McCarty's house, however, held no memories for me that involved her, so I was safe, or so I thought.

My eyes were focused on the road, but my mind was still running a mile a minute wondering about Bella. Part of me couldn't even fathom not being with her while she went through the hell that was no doubt shaking her to her core, but part of me felt weak, like I couldn't handle whatever was going to happen to her. Though moments ago I couldn't think of being with anyone other than her, the more I thought about it, the less certain I became. Could I handle this?

As I pulled into Emmett's snow covered driveway, there was only one thing I was certain about and that was that I couldn't sit back and watch her die.

"You look like shit," Emmett exclaimed as he held open the door for me as I walked the last few steps into his house and I groaned in response. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and simply nodded my head, because he was right. There were left over traces of mud on my legs, my neck and my hands. My eyes looked bloodshot and there were darkened circles beneath them that made me look like I hadn't slept for days, even though it had only been a few hours since I left the Chief's house. Emmett held the bottle of Jack I had asked for in his hand, but he held it far enough away from me that I couldn't grab it from him without some sort of struggle and Emmett looked at me bound and determined to fight. "I told you that you have to answer my questions first."

"Seriously… are you going to be that big of a jackass? Do I look like I want to answer any questions?"

"I never said they would be hard questions… now why the fuck does it look like you were mud wrestling?" he asked with a small laugh as he pointed down at my pants and I looked up at him exasperated.

"I fell," I stated stoically. "Clearly, it was in mud."

"Why were you at Lake Olympia?" he questioned as I pulled my muddy shoes off and left them by the front door, showing a modicum of respect for the McCarty household.

"The car took me there."

"Who was driving the car?"

"Me."

"But the car drove you there? You are not making any damn sense Edward."

"That's what I said. I didn't take a motherfucking hover car and I don't have GPS asshole. I got in the car and drove. That was where I ended up," I said in frustration as I reached my hand up to swipe the liquor from him and he jumped away quickly. "Do I look like someone who wants to play games Emmett?" He shook his head in the negative and then led me upstairs to his bedroom, holding the booze out to me as incentive to follow him, which I did. When we got into the room, I was surprised to find Jasper perched on the bed playing Rock Band especially since he was supposed to be out at the movies with Alice tonight.

"What are you doing here?"

"Genius here called me about twenty minutes ago and told me to get my ass over here. Alice was called away from our date over an hour ago to go to Bella's house anyways," Jasper said with a shrug of his shoulders, but I could read his face like a book. He, once again, knew something I didn't know and I hated it. I detested being out of the loop in regards to something as important as Bella.

"What the hell did you do?" Emmett questioned calmly.

"Why the fuck does everyone think I fucked up somehow? Isn't it possible that Bella did something?" I stammered angrily as both Emmett and Jasper looked at me quizzically and I just dropped my head down, my chin now resting against my chest before I spoke again. "The Chief told me that Bella's sick."

I wasn't surprised when Jasper looked down at his hands briefly, because I had already deduced that he knew, but Emmett looked shocked. "Like, cough due to cold sick?" he asked, mirroring my own thoughts from earlier in the evening. "Based on the look on both of your faces, I'll take that as a no."

"Leukemia."

"Jesus fuck… really?" I nodded in response as Em suddenly began putting two and two together in his mind. "I'm sorry man. How long as she been sick? Is she getting treatment? What are her chances of recovery? Emmett's words hit me hard as I grabbed the bottle from his hand and twisted open the top, quickly taking a long swig of it before I let out a big sigh as I let the liquor burn my throat and ease my tension. Why the fuck hadn't I thought about these things? I didn't know if she had been sick long or if she was getting treatment? I never saw her take any medication and couldn't remember her going to any doctor's appointments. I took another drink as I began to wonder if she even wanted to get better, something that had nagged at me all night.

"She saw her doctor last week and has been avoiding staying in the hospital as much as she can," spoke up Jasper as I looked at him shocked as he gave more insight into her illness than I could. I was her fucking boyfriend; I should be able to answer questions about her. "She's doing some outpatient thing, but apparently the doc said she might have to get admitted to PAGH if she doesn't get better soon."

"How the fuck do you know all this?" Emmett questioned as I took another drink and sat down on the floor beside Emmett's bed, resting my head against his mattress while Emmett stared at me for a moment. "Wait a second. How is it that Jazz knows shit that you don't know?"

"Question of the day man. How the fuck does my best friend know that my girlfriend is dying and yet I am left in the lurch, knowing nothing other than the fact that she has leukemia and could possible die." My stomach churned as I spoke the words but Jasper looked over at me, trying to show some sort of remorse, which I wasn't sure he had.

"Alice told me. She needed someone to confide in when all the shit began going down. She's afraid of losing Bella since they have been best friends for so long," Jasper admitted as my hands balled up into fists at my side. I knew she was close with Alice, but where the hell did she get off confiding to Jasper, while I was left in the dark.

"She's afraid of losing Bella? I fucking fell in love with her… I swore to myself I wouldn't do it… I wouldn't fall for her and I stayed away for so damn long, but then… shit. _What the fuck am I supposed to do?" _I shouted as my two best friends looked at me in utter surprise. Emmett grabbed the bottle from my hand and took a quick gulp of the booze and shook his head, apparently not liking the taste but swallowing it down regardless. Jasper was the picture of calm as his fingers pressed lazily over the guitar for the game which he currently had on pause.

"Edward, stop with the self loathing," Jasper chastised quietly. "Don't you think this is hard on Bella? Fuck, it's hard on everyone who loves her, me and Emmett included."

We spent the next two hours sitting on the floor in Emmett's room discussing the entire fucked up situation, with both of them offering up their suggestions, which of course were to stick by her and see what happened. However, by the time I passed out on with my head on a pile of clean laundry, after getting changed into a pair of track pants Emmett had loaned me, I still didn't know what I was going to do. Part of me desperately wanted to run through town to see her, hold her in my arms and reassure her that I wasn't going anywhere. Another part of me wasn't confident that I could make those promises, so I passed out instead, unable to decide and fell into a fitful sleep.

_I suddenly found myself within a small candlelit room that looked only slightly familiar to me. I was surrounded by my family and friends, all of whom looked heartbroken and forlorn. "She looks so peaceful," my mother whispered to me as I nodded my head involuntarily and she reached over and grasped my hand in hers. She gave me a tight squeeze and I looked over my shoulder to see my father hugging Chief Swan. I was definitely in some sort of parallel universe, I determined as I simply looked around and waited._

_After a short while, I realized that I was sitting on a small bench and looked around the room some more, finding Jasper clutching Alice in the corner, as they talked to Rosalie and Emmett who didn't touch, or talk for that matter. I began wondering what the hell had happened to make them mad at each other, but before I could get up and go inquire, I heard someone speaking and was unable to distinguish what was being said. As I turned towards the front of the room, the same man began speaking again and motioned to the crowd in front of him. Where the hell was I?_

_My mind was racing and as I looked to my left, my mother, father and everyone else around us was crying. I could see them, but I couldn't hear anything. All sound was muffled by something. I reached up and clutched at my ears, wondering if there was something preventing me from hearing what was being said, but there was nothing. So I continued to sit there, feeling absolutely nothing but confused and empty. _

_It seemed like forever before I felt my mother nudge me and look at me curiously. "It's your turn to speak honey. You wanted to say something." Without giving it a second thought, I got up and walked towards the small podium where Alice was standing just moments earlier. There were some small cue cards in the pocket of the suit I realized I was wearing and I pulled them out and rested them in front of me. I was nervous and sad, and I didn't know why until I looked to my right and saw Bella lying in a small coffin, her hands folded neatly across her chest while she wore a navy blue dress and her face as pale as the winter snow._

I woke with a start, sitting up straight as I looked around the room and assessed my surroundings; Emmett's motherfucking bedroom. He and Jasper were both still asleep; Jazz on the floor beside me and Emmett in his bed, looking all comfortable as I reached up and felt my face to find an indentation from his jeans on my cheek. When I looked down, I found the half empty bottle of Jack Daniels sitting mere inches away from me so grabbed it, I opened the top and took a long drink. I couldn't just sit there or go back to sleep in Emmett's darkened room, so I reached for my coat and slipped it on, deciding to take a walk home through the snow with my good friend Jack Daniels.

I took the long way back to my house, ignoring most of the major roads as I kept myself warm by finishing off the bottle. I was so full of self loathing and hatred at this point, I was kinda hoping I would get pulled over by the cops, but since it was barely six in the morning, I wasn't surprised to make it home just after nine in the morning, having not seen a single police officer.

I also wasn't shocked by the greeting I got when I walked in the door and found my mother pacing the living room anxiously as my father yelled impatiently at whomever he was talking to on the phone. "He's home Carlisle," my mother called out as I covered my ears, her yelling giving me a headache that was made worse by the sheer amount of booze I had consumed in the past few hours.

"Can you do me a huge favor and not yell?" I asked as I sat down in the middle of the foyer and pulled off my shoes, throwing them into the corner by the front door carelessly. My mother frowned at me as I lifted my ass from the floor and made it towards the living room, before collapsing into a heap on the couch.

"Can you do me a favor and take your wet feet off of my couch," she asked as I heard my father slam the phone down before strolling into the room. I moved myself into a sitting position and looked up at my parents defiantly. "Now, can you tell me where the hell you have been since you left Emmett's house?"

"How did you know I was at Emmett's?"

"I called there last night looking for you and Mrs. McCarty advised us you were there."

"What time was that?"

"Like one in the morning. Now are you going to tell me where you have been for the past few hours and why you smell like a bar?" My mother practically growled the last question at me and I simply leaned my head back against the couch and folded my arms across my chest like a petulant child, which I felt I had to the right to be. After all, so many people in my life knew the truth for such a long time about Bella and no one told me anything.

"I walked home from Emmett's because I was too hung over to drive. Now, I'm too drunk to do much of anything but thank you for keeping the truth from me that my own girlfriend was dying. So _thank you_ for ruining my fucking life," I shouted as I stood up and began to walk out of the room, only to find myself unable to move as my father grasped my forearm in his hand firmly.

"Apologize to your mother."

"For speaking the truth? No thanks," I muttered caustically as my father narrowed his eyes at me and I let out a short 'I'm sorry' which I didn't believe, and neither did anyone else. My father forced me to sit back down on the couch before he sat across from me, his hands on his knees as he glared at me while my mother moved to stand behind him.

"We couldn't tell you anything Edward. As much as we may have wanted to, because we are your parents, we couldn't because I am also Bella's doctor. I implored her to tell you the moment she had her symptoms occur again, and she reassured me she would speak to you. I didn't want you to find out like this," my father said quietly, the anguish and frustration clear in his voice.

I just shrugged my shoulders in defeat, my indifference showing clearly on my face and when I looked up at my mother, I could tell it was breaking her heart. She had been taken off guard when I first expressed an interest in Bella but she knew we were good together and that she was good for me. I hated to admit it, but she had changed me for the better. Although I couldn't help but wish right then that I was still the same callous, self involved asshole I had been the year before because then I wouldn't be in this situation.

I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging on the ends and letting the pain distract me from the empty glares of my parents, who were obviously saddened by me and my actions. "Do you really think drowning your sorrows in alcohol is the answer? Who the hell got you booze anyways?"

"Does it really matter?" I replied to my mother as she narrowed her eyes at me and I simply hung my head, unwilling to look her in the eye. "I have my ways of getting what I want."

"Clearly," my father deadpanned as I lifted my head and glared at him. "What are you going to do now? Shut out everyone who loves you?"

"It's a consideration."

"Hopefully not a serious one," my mother added.

"I'm not sure what I am going to do. All I know is that I cannot sit by and watch Bella die."

"We don't know what is going to happen."

"Can you promise me that everything will turn out fine?" I asked my dad, as I noticed him scratch the back of his neck, like I often did. We were so much alike, yet he had a hell of a lot more compassion in his pinky finger than I had in my entire body.

"No. I can't make that promise. I wish I could Edward," he sighed as I groaned at his response. Of course I was looking for something a little more promising, but I knew he couldn't give me that. I was upset, frustrated and heartbroken, not stupid. "Bella has beaten this before. She's a strong girl and I have every bit of faith that she will tackle this like she did her first bout of leukemia."

"When I left Chief Swan's, he told me I needed to get answers from you."

"I'm actually surprised you weren't home last night to get those answers. The Chief called after you left his house and told us what happened. He also gave me permission to talk to you about Bella's history, which I didn't have before last night, so I was unable to tell you anything."

"Just tell me."

"Bella was sick back in the fourth grade, but I figure you've already put two and two together and realized this. She was diagnosed early in the summer between third and fourth grade, which is why she never made it to school that year. She was busy fighting for her life at Port Angeles General Hospital. She was a fighter because she felt like she had something to live for, until her mother left." I let out a small gasp and a quiet 'fuck' under my breath, as I finally realized what Bella meant when she said that everyone left her, and then nodded for my father to continue, but found my mother speaking instead.

"When Renee left, Bella's recovery faltered. Renee decided that she wasn't strong enough to sit back and watch her daughter die. She felt helpless and even though I could understand where she was coming from, there was no way I could have abandoned my only child like she did. I ended up going to the hospital daily, even though your father was no longer her primary physician, just to see her and spend time with her. We grew remarkably close, bonding about books and schoolwork that Alice & Rosalie brought for her. I should have known you guys would have ended up together because even back then, she was completely smitten with you." My mother took a long pause and I watched as she wiped some tears from her eyes as she recalled the history she shared with Bella. I knew there was more going on there than either of them was telling me.

"Why... why couldn't either of you have shared any of this with me? Do you know how fucking blindsided I felt yesterday when Chief Swan told me. Fuck… I had to hear it from Chief Swan, not my girlfriend, my parents or anyone else… hell, even Jasper knew more than me. How fucking fair is this? I don't know who to trust anymore," I stated as I jumped up from the couch and drunkenly stumbled as I tried to make my way up the stairs.

"How fair is it for Bella? She's the one fighting for her life_ again_ Edward and do you really think she wants to do that without you?" Esme asked confidently.

"I don't know what the hell she wants, because she never talks to me. She clearly doesn't trust me the way I thought she did."

"Edward," my mother called out to me as I took the steps two at a time. "Though you may have doubts about her right now, the only advice I can give you is to trust is your heart. What does your heart tell you to do?"

I ignored what she was saying and continued heading up the stairs. When I walked into my room, my stomach lurched and I ran into my bathroom and immediately threw up all the booze and bile that my stomach could hold. My entire body ached and my heart hurt most of all, as I watched as the contents of my stomach fill the toilet and I groaned as I felt ten times worse for not being strong enough to handle any of this. I couldn't handle being lied to by my family, my girlfriend or my best friend. I couldn't handle seeing her as she faded away and I couldn't handle the prospect of her dying and leaving me. I gripped the toilet like it was a lifeline before eventually falling asleep on the bathroom floor, feeling like the world's biggest failure.

"Jesus fuck, he looks shit," I heard a male voice declare and when I opened up my eyes, albeit reluctantly I saw Jasper standing above me, with my father flanking his side.

"Thanks for the kind words asshole," I replied caustically as Jasper extended his hand to help me off of the bathroom floor and I swatted it away, not really interested in his friendship at that moment.

"Well what the hell do you expect me to say Edward?" he asked acerbically as I finally lifted myself up off the floor and wobbled slightly as I stood. "You just picked yourself up off the floor, there is puke all over your shirt and the floor, and you have been sleeping for at least six hours on the cold tiles. I think 'shit' is a pretty nice term for how you look."

"Fuck off."

"Okay, both of you need to calm down," stated my father as he eyed up my current state and narrowed his eyes in disappointment again. I was getting used to letting my family down and I honestly didn't care how he felt about me at that particular moment. I was living in a sea of self-loathing and loving every minute of it. _Hardly_. "Chief Swan called earlier this afternoon."

I showed no emotion at the words my father spoke, even though my mind was reeling. I couldn't help my thoughts and wondered how Bella was doing. She looked so broken when I saw her on the couch only twenty four hours ago, that even now my heart ached at the memory. It was Jasper who broke me from my reverie. "Alice and Rosalie went over to see Bella last night and she wasn't doing very well. The Chief ended up taking her to the Port Angeles Hospital last night and they admitted her for exhaustion, dehydration among other things."

I was certain that _'among other things'_ was code for leukemia, but I couldn't be bothered to say anything in response.

"Your mother and I are going to see her. Bella has her own specialist who is tending to her, but as her primary physician and a close family friend, we are going to visit with her. Jasper is here to ensure you don't do anything reckless, stupid or suicidal, unless of course you want to shower that putrid stench off of you and come with us."

"No thanks, but I'm glad to see you have so much confidence in me." I wasn't ready to see her yet. I wasn't even sure what the hell I would say to her when I did finally see her. All I knew was that I had to have a shower and get some more booze in me in order to escape my thoughts.

"You haven't shown anything even remotely close to adult behavior since you found out that Bella was sick, so you can't honestly expect me to exhibit any confidence in you Edward. Perhaps if you showed some damned brains, I could be lenient on you." My father strolled from the bathroom and came back a moment later with some towels and my mother, whose eyes were stained red from her crying. "Act your age and have a shower. You smell like a fucking bum."

"I'm eighteen years old and you are having my best friend babysit me… where is the logic in that?" I shouted as my parents walked out of the room, trying to show a united front. I simply tossed the towels on the ground and stormed into my closet, looking for something to change into that didn't have puke on it. I decided on the first t-shirt I found and when I moved to walk out of the closet, Jasper took it from me.

"Where do you think you are going?"

"To see Kevin. I need something to drink."

"And you wonder why your parents have asked me to look after you while they go see your girlfriend in the hospital," he snapped at me. "Don't you think that is wrong by the way? Your parents are visiting your girlfriend in the hospital, but you aren't."

"Don't lecture me Jasper. You've know for months more than I have that she was sick and you never said anything to me. You have had the time to process everything, for a few months in fact, while I have been happily going about my life, unaware that it was about to come to a screeching halt. So don't get all high and mighty. I mean, what kind of best friend does that shit? How could you tell me nothing? What happened all of that bros before ho's crap we used to spout when we were younger?" Jasper rolled his eyes at me and I then grabbed a new pair of boxers and some jeans and tossed them into the bathroom, deciding to have a shower.

"We're not thirteen years old anymore Edward. Some of us grew up," he said angrily as he sat down at my desk chair and waited impatiently for me to do something. "Go have a shower and sober up. You'll come to your senses and when you do, I will drive you to Port Angeles to see your girlfriend."

Not bloody likely, I thought to myself as I slammed the bathroom door behind me turned on the water as hot as possible before finally stepping in under the spray. It burned against my skin, but the burn was welcome, almost needed. The longer I stood under the water, completely immobile the more my mind got the best of me and happier memories of Bella and I together overwhelmed me. Bella and I together on Christmas Eve, skinny dipping with our friends after her birthday party, the first time we made love. My fingers dancing against her bare skin, my lips as they descended on her neck and the way she shivered beneath me each and every time we came undone together.

"_I want to do this," Bella said forcefully as she wrapped her hand around my neck and pulled me into a deep kiss, our tongues mingling furiously as I tightened my grip on her hips. "I might have been nervous earlier, but you changed everything."_

"_Really? I have no idea what I did, but yea me," I said with a small laugh as I then pulled Bella in for a hug, which seemed pretty insignificant, considering she wanted to give me her virginity. "I'm ready to wait as long as you want me to." Bella pulled back and looked at me as though she was realizing something significant._

"_Just shut up," Bella said with a laugh as she walked forward, effectively moving me back to my bed again. I sat down with a loud thud and Bella placed herself on my lap, her legs wrapping around my back. She held my face in her hands tenderly and kissed me chastely before leaning into my ear. "Make love to me."_

_I stood up, my hands holding Bella in place around me, and Bella repositioned herself on the bed so that she was on her back and I then moved till I was hovering above her, my elbows resting beside her head. "If you ever decide you don't want this, tell me and I will stop," I said stoically and I could see the reservation in her eyes that I knew was mirrored in my own. I knew I was going to be her first, and if I had my way I would be her only, but I couldn't tell her that. _

_Bella reluctantly nodded her head at my request and agreed to stop if she was uncomfortable, but I didn't think she would. She seemed so bound and determined to be with me tonight. I lowered my lips to hers and it felt right; there was no other way to explain it. After minutes of simply making out, Bella was suddenly desperate for skin to skin contact and she began tugging at the hem of my t-shirt, eager to get it off of me. "You do realize we have all night right? All weekend technically," I explained as Bella kissed me again, this time to silence me._

"_I just want you so much," Bella admitted when she finally pulled away and finished pulling my shirt over my head, tossing it onto the floor._

"_You have no fucking idea how long I have wanted you," I said fiercely. "We're not wasting any more time apart."_

I slumped down on the floor, the waiting pouring around me and swirling into the drain at my feet. I couldn't handle the onslaught of memories so I buried my head in my hands as I felt tears begin to pour from my eyes.

What the fuck was I going to do now?

**A/N: I promise that the next update won't be as long. Thanks for sticking with me.**


	23. My Empty Heart

**A/N: Wow, quick turn around on this chapter huh? Much better than the month it took me to update Chapter 22. Anywhoo, the usual thanks to my bestie and fuckawesome beta MaggieMay14! She makes this shit make sense and pretties it up for me. She also sends me photos of Rob pouting that reminds me of E from this chapter. ILY!!**

**I've got a plethora of pre-readers to thank too: TillyWhitlock, Kiki Enigma, Risbee and Beegurl13. They all write, so go do yourself a favor and check out their work. Flighlessbird11 is still on pre-reading hiatus until the HF is over cause she is a wussperv of epic proportions. I love her anyways though. **

**As per usual, I don't own Twilight. I do however have two tickets to go see Kevin Smith (director of Mallrats, Clerks, Jay & Silent Bob) speak in Toronto at the beginning of February. I'm giddy with excitement! **

**BPOV**

It had been a week. One long, boring, monotonous week and every day brought new and different explanations for Edward's absence. I was beginning to not care anymore though. I was tired of hearing _'he's having issues'_ or _'he's busy with schoolwork'_. My favorite excuse and probably the most accurate one, came from Jasper on the second day I was in the hospital, '_he's passed out drunk at home unable to face reality.'_ At least Jasper had the courtesy to tell me the truth, unlike everyone else who thought they were protecting me by keeping the truth from me. Each lie, half truth or exaggeration just made his absence worse.

My memory of what happened on the Friday I last saw Edward was a bit foggy. I knew Charlie had told Edward that I was sick, but it wasn't until Rose and Alice showed up at the house, waking me from my crying induced sleep that I realized he knew the whole truth. Well… truth enough. I knew things were going downhill quickly when I woke up from my nap that night. Then Charlie insisted I go to the hospital late on that fateful Friday night, and I fought with every ounce of strength in me to stay home. I didn't want the hospital to become my life again like it had all those years ago, and I knew if I went I wasn't coming home anytime soon. I had tried to force every one of those memories from my mind and manage a normal teenage life, but as I found myself back in a hospital bed, being monitored more than I cared to consider, I couldn't help but think back to my childhood.

I had very few good memories from my ten months in Port Angeles General Hospital when I was nine years old. My life fell apart in those first few weeks, my support system basically disintegrating before my eyes the moment my father came in to my hospital room and told me my mother was gone. What does a nine year old say to that anyways? The first thing that sprung to my mind was that she had something to do… perhaps get me a new book to distract me with or a change of clothes. I never once thought about the truth… that she had left me and subsequently Charlie because she couldn't handle watching me die.

In the weeks prior to her departure, I had been forced to listen to too many arguments between my parents in the adjoining hospital room, if it was empty, or the hallways. She had no shame in fighting with him in front of me and my doctors at every given opportunity and my one saving grace during those times was Esme. She would come to the hospital to check up on me on a regular basis, and it was usually during a visit from her that my parents would fight, so she would distract me. She told me about things happening in the fourth grade back at Forks Elementary and all about Edward, who was her pride and joy. When Edward and I started dating, it came as no surprise to Esme, of course. If it wasn't for the support of Charlie, Rosalie, Alice and Esme… I don't think I would have pulled through my first bout of leukemia.

Late on Friday Night, Rose and Alice came in shortly after I had been admitted and brought some things from my bedroom, already anticipating that I would be settling in for a long stay at the hospital. I had a new specialist now in Dr. Winston, who informed me and Charlie about my dehydration, exhaustion and that the initial tests they had run showed an increase of abnormal white blood cells, which was collecting in my spleen. _Fuck my life._ I was dragged out of my room for innumerable tests including a CT scan, which confirmed the abdominal swelling was coming on quicker than they initially anticipated. So all I had to do was relax as much as I could as they pumped me full of drugs and we waited for the full results of my blood tests and everything else they ran on me.

Rosalie and Alice tried to keep me occupied by bringing homework in from school, assuring me I would be back in time to graduate with everyone else, but as each day passed, I began to doubt that. We played board games, mad libs and even a few books of Sudoku before I would get too tired to keep my eyes open and fall asleep with thoughts of Edward running through my mind. Even Jacob had made several visits during the week, coming after school with some of his friends from the reservation to try and take my mind off of everything. They were surprisingly the most successful in distracting me because they didn't remind me of anything having to do with Edward. They told me crude jokes and showed me funny videos on YouTube on the laptop that Charlie gave me as a post Christmas gift to try and lift my spirits.

So here I was… a week had passed and no sign of Edward. I couldn't help but think of what Edward and I would be doing if I wasn't lying in this bed watching Jeopardy on the small TV hanging from the wall in front of me. We would probably be going to a party, perhaps a dinner and movie… whatever it was, we would no doubt be having mind blowing sex afterwards, because we usually did. Every time with Edward felt like the first time, even when he wasn't being slow and gentle; it just felt perfect to me. Like we belonged together and he was meant to be inside of me, joined with me. I shook my head of the thought just as Jacob walked into the room with a large wicker basket topped off with a big red bow.

"Well look at you… you're awake," he laughed nervously as I closed my eyes for a moment and let out a small sigh. Why the hell couldn't it be Edward walking in with a basket for me, joking with me and just being here with me.

"Hey," I said quietly as Jacob put the basket down on the small dresser in the room and then grabbed a nearby chair and sat down beside me. "What's got you so happy?"

"I'm here to see you… that makes me happy," Jacob stated genuinely as I reached over and patted his hand supportively. Thank god he walked in here with a smile because I simply didn't think I could take seeing someone else come in with a frown that they then covered with a fake ass smile because they thought I would break. I would rather everyone was honest with me.

"Thanks. I could use a pick me up. It's been a quiet day around here," I said quietly as Jacob nodded his head slowly and I looked up and remembered the basket. "What did you bring me?" I said with mock enthusiasm that Jacob clearly detected.

"I know I'm not the person you want to see Bella… but he's not here and he may never show up. So let me just take your mind off of everything for a while. That's what friends do right?" I nodded my head in response as Jacob slide my small table in front of me so that he could put the basket on it. Inside was a plethora of things to keep me distracted while I was stuck in the hospital. Stuffed animals, some of my favorite books, an iTunes gift card so I could download new music, a deck of cards and a few random DVD's of chick flicks he thought I would enjoy. "Where do you want to start? I have all night."

When I looked up at Jacob, his eyes looked up hopeful and gentle. He clearly wanted nothing more than to be my friend and help me through this bump in my road, so I latched onto him, and deciding not to regret my decision to be friends with him again. At least he was making an effort, when someone else wasn't. I pulled out the deck of cards and thus started my night playing half assed games bullshit with Jacob as we joked, laughed and talked about everything under the sun. It was nice and comfortable, but not what I wanted; not who I wanted.

On Sunday, nine days after being admitted back into Port Angeles General Hospital, I was informed by Dr. Winston and Dr. Cullen, that the best form of treatment for me would be inpatient chemotherapy, meaning I would have to stay in the hospital so that the staff could administer the blood products and antibiotics to me as needed. Even though I desperately wanted to go home, I wanted to get better more than anything else. I wanted my life back, so I agreed to start treatment as soon as possible, to the sheer excitement of Charlie, Rosalie, Alice and even Jacob, who were literally glued to my side twenty four hours a day.

After I agreed to the treatment, everyone left me alone for a little while so I could try to rest, but shortly after they left, the door opened again and there stood Esme, looking like a shell of her former self. Even when I was going through this almost ten years ago, she didn't look as sad as she did now.

"You can come in, I won't bite. I don't have the energy," I replied as Esme closed the door firmly behind her and sat down at the chair beside my bed.

"Yet you somehow have the energy to make bad jokes?" she asked as she moved her hand slowly along my forehead, sweeping my hair out of the way. It was the first gentle touch I had felt in days and I reveled in it. "How are you doing sweetheart?"

"Just peachy. I'm very much looking forward to the nausea, vomiting, aches, pains and hair loss of my upcoming chemo treatments," I deadpanned as Esme rolled her eyes at me before reaching down and wrapping her hand around my fingers and squeezing gently. "If I don't laugh about it all, I will just cry, so I'm trying to find the humor in the situation."

"You are a much stronger woman than I am," Esme said quietly as I squeezed her hand back in return, letting her know I supported her. "He's going to try and come to see you soon."

"No, he's not Esme. I'm not foolish enough to believe that. It's been over a week, I'm tired of people making excuses for him. To be honest, even if he did show up here on his knees groveling, I'm not sure I would want to talk to him. I know he's your son, but I'm finding it very hard to be understanding when I am sitting here in a hospital bed unsure if I will be alive next week," I stated emphatically as Esme nodded her head slowly in understanding and sympathy. We had always had this rather honest friendship, and Esme was like the mother I always wanted when I was sick the first time around, and even though I wanted her in the same capacity now, I knew she had a loyalty to her son, and I couldn't fault her for that.

"Just know he is suffering too Bella. He's never been in love before and to find out right after you have confessed your love, that the person who you want more than anything in the world is sick… well to put it mildly, he is falling apart," she stated honestly as I shook my head, urging her to continue. I was taking a sick sort of pleasure in knowing that Edward was suffering just as much as I was, even though I knew I shouldn't. I couldn't help it though because every moment that passed and he didn't visit; it broke my heart a little bit more. Before I knew it, it would be in a state of disrepair, all at the hands of the boy I fell in love with. Lord knows I couldn't refer to him as a man, because a man would have had the guts to come and see me. Edward was just a selfish boy. "He's… he's empty Bella. Even before he started dating you he still functioned normally, but these days… he's not as strong as you Bella."

"I'm not strong Esme. If I was strong, I wouldn't be here."

"Lack of strength is not what brought the disease back Bella. Never doubt that. You have struggled so much in your young life, but you are doing an admirable job of surviving everything that life throws your way," she said without a shred of remorse as she then leaned forward and wrapped me into a huge hug. "I'm sorry that I just can't drag him down here to see you."

"I don't want him to come here because someone forced him," I replied, the frustration and anger clear in my voice. "I want him to show up here because he still loves me."

"I know he loves you. If there is one thing that I don't doubt right now, it is how he feels for you."

"If you loved someone and they were in the hospital, wouldn't you move heaven and earth to be with them?" I questioned shakily as I reached up and wiped tears from my face, feeling weak for crying about this again. Esme squeezed my hand again, but didn't answer, not that I expected her to. I knew whatever answer she gave would be honest, and thus incriminate Edward further.

I sat back and rested my head against the pillow as my eyes began to grow heavy. I was trying to focus on what Esme and I were talking about, and was relieved when she got off the topic of Edward and we began to discuss how I was coping with being back in the hospital. She was my rock and I was glad that even though things were precarious between Edward and me at the moment, she was still there for me. We talked for a little bit more before I fell asleep and when I woke up she was gone.

The rest of Sunday passed slowly, with Alice and Rosalie coming over to watch the Amazing Race with me in an effort to show some semblance of normalcy. We loved this show because we always discussed all the places in the world we would go someday; most of which were a pipe dream. We couldn't afford to do any of that shit, even if we were made of money, which we weren't. Even if I did graduate high school with everyone else, I still wasn't sure how I would afford college. Between the medical bills we were about to incur and Charlie's decent but not exactly stellar wages, things would be tight. I might have to just get my GED and work full time to get us out of the mountain of debt we were sure to end up with, if I survived of course.

"Earth to Bella… what are you thinking about?" asked Rosalie as she snapped her fingers and brought me out of my thoughts.

"Nothing important… just the future," I said with a sigh and a shrug of my shoulders. "Let's watch the old folks get to the pit stop last. It's always them, every season they end up last on the first episode. I wish they would stop adding an older couple so we could see the dumb blondes that they always cast end up last. Then they wouldn't have the time to make relationships with the hot and somewhat smart guys and latch on to them for help."

"My favorite team was Rob & Amber from Survivor. He was always so sneaky and conniving. Remember when he convinced all those other teams to give up a challenge and sit out eating like moose balls or something, because he couldn't eat them? Then because they gave up first, they ended up having a lead on other teams and didn't finish last on that leg of the race," laughed Alice as I shook with laughter, which also made my body ache slightly. I hid the pain by distracting them.

"I loved when he made some of the teams cough up money to pay the bus driver not to open the back door, thus making the teams at the back of the bus unable to get off first. Then he didn't pay his part of the money, just gave the bus driver the money from everyone else he conned," I added in as we all doubled over in laughter for a few moments. Of course, Rosalie had to be the serious one and bring us out of the relaxed time we were having.

"Valentine's Day is in two weeks."

"Rosalie, do you think it's smart to discuss Valentine's day considering the current situation?" Alice chided her as Rosalie rolled her eyes. I knew she was only doing what I had asked her to do, and acting like I wasn't sick and live life like normal, but Alice didn't agree with my request. She didn't want me to be reminded of all the things I was missing, but every time I looked at them I was reminded. Their smiling faces when they got texts or calls from Jasper or Emmett reminded me of what I was missing with Edward. The homework they brought me in an attempt to help me graduate with all of our friends only reminded me of the fact that they were in school all day, while I was hooked up to machines and being monitored by strangers who worked to keep me alive.

"Alice, shut up. Bella asked us to act like life was normal, so I am. Anyways, I wanted to do something spectacular for Emmett, but I honestly have no idea. We've been together long enough that we have done basically everything known to man these days anyways," she said casually as my eyes bugged out of my head. I didn't really want to go into great detail about Rosalie's sexual adventures with Emmett, so I held my hand up to silence her.

"No. Just no… don't tell me." Rosalie and Alice both laughed at my reluctance to discuss whatever sexual position or god forbid… toy, they were about to discuss. "Just show him how much you care. Isn't that the most important thing you can do for the person you love? Be there for them?"

They both agreed wholeheartedly with me and Rosalie decided to do something a little more romantic for Emmett, rather than bold and daring. Of course by the time the girls left that night, she still wasn't sure what she would do, and I cried myself to sleep curled up with my pillow clutched tightly in my hands as I found myself missing Edward more than ever and wishing he could be there for me.

**EPOV**

"Is it too much to ask for you to take a shower?" my father asked me as he walked across the kitchen on Monday evening. He looked worse than I felt and I could tell by the fact that he wasn't looking me in the eye that he had seen Bella today. "You smell terrible."

"Contrary to your belief, I showered this morning. If you smell anything, it's either the casserole mom made and burnt because she was too busy nagging me about visiting Bella, or perhaps the half bottle of vodka I drank this afternoon before you got home." I wasn't feeling like mincing words with my father any more but then again, he wasn't taking any of my shit either. What I knew for certain was that things had gotten tense at the house since I had came home on the weekend, but each day got progressively worse and it was my fault.

"You are turning into a selfish ass Edward," my father declared as I watched him out of the corner of my eye walk over to the liquor cabinet and lock it. You would have thought he would have done that sooner, but who was I to complain since I was reaping the benefits of his recent forgetfulness? "Hands off the booze and go take a damn shower!"

Esme walked into the room moments later, her eyes red from crying… again. She had just gotten off the phone and I could only guess who she was talking to. "Is everything alright?" my dad questioned as he stalked forcefully towards her and wrapped her arms around her supportively.

"It's fine. I was just talking to Charlie about Bella's progress, but we can talk about it later tonight," my mother said as she eyed me up curiously, no doubt thinking it was for the best if she didn't talk about Bella around me. Whereas my father was blunt about her current situation, my mother walked around me on eggshells most of the time, which made me laugh because they were usually so in sync.

"You can talk about it. It doesn't bother me," I lied as I clenched my teeth and I felt the counter shake as my father smacked his hand firmly against in anger.

"It should bother you Edward. I didn't raise you to be the heartless bastard you have turned into. This is the girl you claim to love, suffering beyond belief in a hospital bed forty minutes from here and you can't even muster up the courage to go and see her. You need to get off your fucking high horse and go see her," he challenged me as I hopped off the counter I was sitting on and began to step from the room, the anger pouring from my body in waves. "That's right… run away from reality Edward."

"I'm not running away from reality Dad," I shouted back as I saw Esme move tentatively around the room like she usually did when we fought, which was often lately. She raised her hands as though it would silence us, but we were clearly having a fight that was five days in the making. "I'm in the midst of facing the fact that not only did the girl I love tell everyone BUT me that she was sick, but I also am trying to cope with the fact that the statistics state she doesn't exactly have a great chance of making it. That's my reality."

"Think about Bella's reality Edward. If her leukemia is as advanced as we think it is, chemotherapy is her best choice. That means staying in the hospital, facing endless tests and drug doses. Let's not even discuss the toll this will take on her body. She's already losing weight; soon she will have no energy and lose her hair. Whose reality is worse Edward?" my father stated emphatically, clearly trying to scare me into going to see her.

"Edward," my mother said as tears streamed down her eyes and my father reached out to hold her and wipe the tears away. "How would you feel if you were in her position? Wouldn't you want her by your side to support you in any way she could? The best thing you could do for her would be to go and see her. Love is the best medicine."

"I thought it was laughter?" I questioned with a smirk on my face, trying to be a smartass.

"You can't talk sense into someone who refuses to listen Esme," my father said, clearly giving up on trying to convince me. I shook my head slowly and stalked from the room, heading up the stairs to my bedroom and slamming my door like a petulant child. I still had the leftover bottle of vodka from earlier in the afternoon, so I sat on the floor looking at the memories of Bella around my room and drank until I passed out on my floor. My nightmares filled with all of the things my father had mentioned would happen to Bella as she got worse. I woke up in the middle of the night and ran to the bathroom, sweat pouring down my forehead and neck as I began puking into the toilet. That was the last time I drank.

I made it through the rest of the week, barely coasting by in my classes as all my thoughts were with Bella. My weekend was boring to say the least, since anyone I would generally hang out with was either with their girlfriends or Bella. By noon on Saturday I had managed to finish all my homework and I then spent the rest of the day perfecting my Rock Band skills. I had sent several texts to Jasper and Emmett, but neither of them bothered to respond. They even ostracized me at school on Monday until I was crossing the parking lot that afternoon to go home and I grew defensive as I felt Jasper grab my arm.

"Come on… we're going to Port Angeles."

"The hell we are," I stated firmly as I wretched my arm away from him and turned around, only to be met with Emmett standing behind me, looking twice as angry as Jasper looked when I turned him down.

"This is not up for negotiation. It's time for an intervention, Emmett McCarty style."

"Does this mean you are going to beat me up?"

"If it comes to that, then yes. I'm not afraid to throw a few left hooks your way just because you are my friend Edward. I've been to see Bella more than you have and you are supposed to be in love with her. How fucked up is that?" Emmett questioned as I looked down at the ground in front of me, slick with snow and a hint of rain, unwilling to look at him directly in the eye because deep down I knew he was right. "Stop throwing your fucking pity party and do what you know you should do. You cannot tell me you are this stupid."

"I'm not being stupid," I declared as Jasper turned me around to face him as he narrowed his eyes at me and groaned before breaking out into laughter.

"Two months ago I spent all my time quoting Talladega Nights and when I was drunk I practically thought I was Ricky Bobby. You are stupider than I was two months ago," Jasper declared as Emmett patted him on the back supportively and I simply felt like an asshole.

"Well that's an unfair comparison," I pouted as I felt Emmett grab my arm forcefully and pull me towards my own car. I looked around the lot and felt like I had been duped because neither of their trucks were in the parking lot. "How long have you guys been planning this?" I questioned as jasper pulled the keys from my hand and unlocked my car. Emmett them opened the back door and shoved me in the back seat as Jasper took his spot behind the wheel, Emmett jumping in beside him.

"Since last night when your mother called and begged me to do this. She didn't think you would go and see Bella on your own," Jasper declared as he began to back out of the parking spot and I felt out of place, being in my car but not in the front seat. "Bella was given her official prognosis yesterday and it doesn't look good. She is starting chemotherapy really soon and everyone thinks it's about time you pulled your fucking head out of your ass. Those were your mother's words, not mine."

I let out a reluctant sigh of defeat and sat back as we drove through town, listening to Emmett and Jasper fight over my iPod, neither of them liking what the other would choose in the way of music. I rested my head against the head rest and tried to come up with a way I could get out of seeing her when we got to the hospital. I knew it had been too long. Just one day was too long to be away from her, but I didn't know what to say to her.

I couldn't just beg her forgiveness for staying away for so long and I wasn't even sure if I wanted to. Even though I had been debating everything in my head for over a week, I was still upset that she couldn't confide in me… couldn't trust me. I felt like I was no more important to her than Emmett was, since he was the only other person who was left in the dark. However, as we approached Port Angeles, I couldn't help but be reminded of my father's words as he told me about what Bella would soon be facing.

'_If her leukemia is advanced as we think it is, chemotherapy is her best choice. That means staying in the hospital, facing endless tests and drug doses. Let's not even discuss the toll this will take on her body. She's already losing weight; soon she will have no energy and lose her hair. Whose reality is worse Edward?'_

"Okay… I'll do it."

"Dude, did you actually think we were giving you a choice?" laughed Emmett as we passed the welcome sign into the Port Angeles town limits. "We were going to drag you in there kicking and screaming if we had to. Hell, I suggested having you committed and tossed into a padded room but your mother thought that was going a bit too far."

I shook my head at the absurdity of the situation and sat back as I tried to gather up my courage to see her. What the hell would I say? Would she even want to see me? Did she already look as fragile as my father implied? Would I be able to handle seeing her so weak and in a hospital bed?

When we were walking down the hallway of PAGH less than ten minutes later, Emmett and Jasper were flanking my sides as though they were protecting me. In truth they were there in an effort to prevent me from running away. Emmett gave a happy wave to a couple of young nurses he saw as we neared Bella's room. I couldn't help but notice how he turned around and watched their asses as they walked away and reminded myself to use that against him in the future if he ever talked shit about me.

"That's her room, 304," stated Jasper as I noticed he had stopped in front of the nurse's station just down from her room. He pushed my shoulder and propelled me forward. "You know what you have to do, so go do it." I nodded my head in acknowledgment and walked forward, my feet feeling heavy with each step I took. However, my heart was eager to see her again and reassure her that although I was a complete and utter asshole, I was and always would be in love with her.

However, my excitement at seeing Bella again was short lived when I gently pushed open her bedroom door and found Jacob Black sitting on the edge of the bed, his arms wrapped tightly around her as she buried her face into his neck. My heart sunk in my stomach as I came to the realization that I was too late.

**A/N: I know… you guys hate me. It's ok. I'm expecting the angry reviews… in fact, bring them on! Just remember my middle name is HEA. It will come eventually!**

**Have you checked out 'Wednesday' my fandom gives back one-shot for my girl Nelln? If not get on it. I have one more that I am working on for SassyK, which I am super excited about cause it will feature one of the best coldplay songs ever, and then I will be all FGB'd out, until the next auction LOL. Woo Hoo!**

**Ok.. now go tell me how much you hate me. I'll be waiting eagerly.**


	24. My Note

**A/N: See at the bottom. Wusspervs avert your eyes.**

**I don't own Twilight, but I do have some pre-readers and a beta who are out for blood.**

**EPOV**

Jacob Black was officially the bane of my existence, again. I hadn't thought much of him in the past few weeks before I found out Bella was sick, because honestly, there had been no reason to. I hadn't seen him since the debacle at Thanksgiving and I preferred it that way. The less I saw of him, the better. Especially when it came to Bella. I didn't doubt that he had feelings for her, even though Bella brushed my concerns off as simple jealousy. So, when I didn't have to see him at all, it was a case of out of sight, out of mind. However, as I stood there frozen in the doorway, my hand clutched around the door jamb firmly, in an effort to keep myself from falling over, I hated him again and my mind could only fathom one thing; he was hugging my girl.

_If she was really yours, you would have come sooner dipshit._

Things escalated from bad to worse when Jacob saw me standing there and gave me a very devious sly grin. Smug fucking bastard, I thought to myself as I realized I couldn't turn my eyes away from the sight in front of me. My hands were balled up in fists at my side, anger was boiling in my gut, but I couldn't do anything. Unfortunately for me, I was developing a conscience where Bella was concerned, so rather than step forward into the hospital room, make a huge scene and beat the shit out of him like I desperately wanted too, I turned around and headed back to the nurses' station. When I got there I was met with the disappointed faces of Emmett, Jasper and a few nurses that they were chatting happily with, clearly having met them before.

"She's sleeping," I said with a slightly sad face as Emmett and Jasper both looked at me in disbelief. Apparently my lying abilities were getting rusty these days. I lifted my right hand up and started biting what was left of my nails and Jasper just nodded his head.

"That's fine cause visiting hours last for a little while longer. Let's go get a snack in the cafeteria and then we'll come back and check on her. Our orders are to not let you leave this hospital until you have talked to Bella and I plan on finishing the job I was asked to do," stated Emmett firmly as a loud growl came from his stomach and two of the nurses at the desk looked at him with shock. "Sorry… I didn't have much of a lunch."

"Dude, you ate almost an entire pizza by yourself," laughed Jasper, as he looked at Emmett who just shrugged his shoulders indifferently. I was relieved by the distraction the guys offered me and as we headed down the hall to the elevators, my mind was still reeling from the scene I witnessed and I couldn't help but wonder what the hell to do about it.

We sat in the café for almost an hour, Emmett eating his weight in various snack foods as I sipped on a root beer and Jasper had a coffee, which was a surprise because it was decaf. Alice was clearly rubbing off on him over the past few months they had been together because he really did seem like he had matured from the childish asshole that I had started senior year with. They didn't question me any further about the situation I had walked in on, but I knew that Jasper was suspicious. Of course, when the hour was up, he was the first to grab my arm and practically drag me back upstairs to Bella's room. I was dreading going back up there and coming across Jacob again in a compromising position with her. Hell, I could go up there and things could be worse than the hug they were sharing earlier, cause really… it's not like he was fucking her, it was just a hug right? Yeah... just a hug, I reminded myself as my mind flashed with the image of Jacob's smirk as he tightened his hold on Bella earlier in her room.

"Quit stalling," he stated as we waited for Emmett outside the men's room after we had left the cafeteria. Apparently Emmett's stomach had realized eating two plates of nachos, a hot dog and some honey buns wasn't that great of an idea after all.

"I'm not stalling."

"Was she actually sleeping?"

"Yup, snoring and all," I said casually as Jasper looked at me in disbelief. "Trust me, I've slept with her… I know she snores. She also talks in her sleep if you need to know that."

"I know she talks in her sleep, I've been here with Alice as she slept and cried for you in her sleep, so don't patronize me," Jasper declared angrily as my gut lurched at the thought of Bella crying about me as she tried to sleep. I hated that the fact that I was so scared of out of my mind with the thought of losing her, that had done this to her… to us. "You do realize you are talking to me right? You don't have to lie to or hide from me Edward. I can sense when something is wrong," Jasper said confidently as we heard Emmett let out a rather loud grunt and then the toilet flushed behind the door. I was officially grossed out and little freaked out if I was being honest.

"How can you sense something is wrong?"

"It's just something I learned from Alice. I can sense emotions and shit."

"Dude you are spending way too much time with that girl. When are you expecting your period?" I asked with a nervous laugh as Jasper pushed my shoulder and Emmett strolled out of the bathroom, looking rather proud of himself. "Don't even talk," I said as I motioned to Emmett with my hand to shut his mouth, which he did happily. The last thing anyone needed to know was what went on behind that bathroom door and sadly, Emmett was usually all to enthusiastic to share.

"So, did he realize that he can't stall us any longer?" asked Emmett as we began walking towards the bank of elevators down the hall. I looked at him, my eyes wide in surprise that even he had caught on to my rather shitty ploy to buy me some more time. "We're not idiots."

"I never said you were an idiot."

"Why did you lie about her sleeping?" Emmett asked casually, as though it was something we had already discussed at length, rather than something I had kept hidden from them.

"Jacob was in there," I said quietly as I shrugged my shoulders, feigning indifference that my friends could see clear as day.

"So? He's her friend and not that bad of a guy actually," added Jasper as I punched the button to the elevator and stood, bouncing back and forth on my heels in nervousness. Of course Jasper knew Jacob now. Hell, they were probably making plans to go play Rock Band or some shit like that cause they were suddenly best friends. It honestly felt like a kick to the gut that no one else could see past his smarmy demeanor. "It's not my fault that he cares for her and came to visit while I was here. Would you have run away if it had been Rosalie or Alice in there with her? They are her friends too."

"They aren't trying to get into her pants," I replied caustically as the elevator door opened and Emmett pushed me inside, unwilling to let me consider getting away.

"Neither is Jacob. You are so fucking blind Edward," cursed Em as he looked around the small lift and noticed an elderly woman in her wheelchair with an orderly behind her, no doubt taking her for some sort of tests. "Sorry for the language," he apologized to her as she shied away and then Em looked at me, embarrassment written all over his face. "Anyways, we all simply are looking out for Bella and trying to make life easier on her, unlike you. If the cancer doesn't kill her… you breaking her heart will."

I nodded shortly in response and we continued the rest of the ride in silence as I ruminated over the words Emmett had said as we then stepped off the elevator and walked down the hallway, as though I was heading to my impending doom. There was no way this could go well if Bella was awake when I walked in to her room. I then let out a big sigh, preparing myself for my impending doom. There would certainly be yelling, mostly from her, as well as crying. I wasn't looking forward to any of it.

A few seconds later, we were outside of her room, with Emmett and Jasper flanking my side, but this time Bella really was sleeping. "Shit, she must be pretty tired from all the drama and stuff," declared Emmett as he patted me on the shoulder.

"I'm gonna go sit with her for a few minutes if you don't mind," I said as Jasper and Emmett both nodded their heads and moved to go sit in the waiting area down the hall. I walked in to her small hospital room tentatively and there was still a chair sitting at her bedside, so I sat down quietly in an attempt not to wake her. No doubt Jacob had been the last person to sit here, and I was relieved that the seat was cold because it meant he had been gone for a while, at least I hope that was what it meant. I took her small hand in mine and smiled briefly when I saw how perfectly it fit within mine. My smile was short-lived though when I noticed how translucent her skin was and how frail her fingers appeared.

"Hi baby," I whispered under my breath and I was thankful she didn't wake up. "I know you probably won't believe me, but I'm really sorry I didn't get here sooner. I just… I'm…," I stammered as I wiped at my tired eyes that were filling up quickly with tears. "I'm having a hard time dealing with this."

A middle aged nurse with jet black hair and a nervous smile walked in a moment later and checked a few of her vitals before nodding her head at me. "Are you Edward?"

"Yeah," I sighed dejectedly. "How did you know?"

"You look just like she told me you would. Plus, I think you are the only person she hadn't had visit her yet. She's been asking for you."

"I figured as much. I'm having a hard time coming to terms with all of this," I said remorsefully as I motioned around the hospital room and the nurse continued to give me a tentative smile.

"You're not the first and you won't be the last person who is unable to deal with leukemia, Edward. If I can give you one piece of advice, from someone who has seen a lot… don't give up on her. Just because she is sick, doesn't mean she will die. Bella is one of the toughest girls I have seen come in here in a long time," the nurse said as I tightened my grip on Bella's hand and looked down once more, feeling like even more of an asshole than I did all fucking week. "The best thing you can do for her recovery is be to be there for her and love her. Your feelings should take a backseat to her illness." The nurse left a moment later and I turned back to Bella and reached up with my free hand gently moving some of her hair away so I could see hr beautiful face more clearly.

She looked tired, more than I had ever seen her, and she had dark circles under her eyes that broke my heart. The paleness of her skin was a little disconcerting as well, but I knew this was something I was going to have to get used to if I was going to stick around. Which, if Bella wanted me to, I would. I kissed her cheek lightly and then grabbed a note from my back pocket that I had written during health class earlier that day. I was getting close to coming to see Bella of my own accord before Jasper & Emmett implemented their intervention… well, until they forced me into my own car and drove me here.

I clutched anxiously at the note, not certain if I should leave it before I stopped second guessing myself. I rested it on her nightstand and kissed her lips again before I stood up from the seat and headed towards the door. "I love you sweetheart," I said honestly as I walked out, planning to let her make the next move. I had poured my heart out to her in the letter, expressing my concerns, disappointments and love and I hoped she would read it and want to talk to me… truly talk to me about everything that was going on between us. I knew that writing her the letter was the chicken shit thing to do, and I wasn't even sure I would give it to her until I got here today, but I wasn't changing my mind now. It was a start… even if it was a small start.

"Did you talk to her? Did she wake up?" asked Jasper excitedly as I found the guys in the waiting room discussing the upcoming NASCAR season while reading an article in the most recent issue of Sports Illustrated.

"Nope, she didn't wake up, but I said some things to her anyways," I said genuinely as Emmett looked at me in curiosity, his eye brows raised in query. "I also left a note behind. I'm hoping things improve in the near future."

"Well, at least we got you here," said Emmett as he clapped me on the back forcefully and a small smile crossed my face. "Baby steps."

The boys seemed placated by the fact that I had made attempts to see Bella, and finally agreed to head home once I explained what I had written in the note. They both guessed that Bella would call me as soon as she read the letter, but I wasn't as confident as they were. However, I was somewhat hopeful that the next time I would be going in to see her, things would be drastically different.

As we drove down the highway and back towards Forks, Emmett was literally bouncing in the passenger seat as he and Jasper chatted animatedly about plans they had with the girls for Valentines' Day and I had done nothing. Hell, I hadn't even realized that February 14th was almost upon us, that was how self involved I had been. "Do you think I should do something for Bella?" I asked anxiously as Emmett turned around in his seat, a huge smile gracing his childlike face.

"That's a great idea and it's also about time you pulled your head out of your ass, man. What do you have in mind?"

"I don't honestly… I forgot all about Valentines until you two idiots mentioned it."

"Well, I think you should take baby steps," said Jasper from the driver's seat as he slowed down for some traffic on the road. "Maybe send her flowers or something. That's a small gesture that will probably mean a lot to her."

So that night when I got home, I scoured the internet and ordered a large arrangement of pink and red roses to be delivered to her at the hospital on Saturday, Valentines Day. According to the site the flowers symbolized love, grace, happiness and forgiveness and I could only hope that Bella could forgive me eventually for being so distant and hurtful, because I didn't know what I would do without her.

It was better late than never right?

**BPOV**

When I woke up from my nap after my short visit with Jacob, I felt different and not in a good way. I quickly buzzed the nurse using my call button and when she rushed in, her face was flushed and she looked concerned.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she tried to catch her breath and I gave her a nervous smile, which made me feel sick again.

"I'm feeling very nauseous," I admitted as I clutched at my stomach and my nurse, Chandra, grabbed a bucket from beside my bed and brought it over to me. It was mere seconds later when I threw up as Chandra graciously held the bucket and smoothed my hair away from my face. She was so sweet and motherly, it made me miss my own mother for a brief moment. Then it made me miss Esme, but every time I thought of her, I thought of Edward, so I threw up again and struggled to catch my breath. "I'm sorry," I said remorsefully as I seemed to have passed the worst of how I was feeling and Chandra handed me a towel to wipe my head and my mouth.

"Bella, there is no reason for you to apologize. You had your first chemo session this morning, it's only logical that there would be some repercussions. Even though your heart, brain and soul are strong… your body is failing you. Don't apologize for it," Chandra stated fiercely as she gave me a smile and checked that I was feeling better before she left to clean up.

I lay back in the bed and stared up at the ceiling, which was my second favorite pastime after watching Jeopardy. It was funny how it was on so many different channels during the day, both repeats and new episodes, and sometimes Alex had a mustache and sometimes he didn't. I was about to flip on the TV and watch another episode when Jacob walked into my room again, all smiles.

"I thought you went home," I said coolly as Jacob sat back in his usual chair and winked at me slyly.

"And miss hearing you puke from the hallway? That was the highlight of my day," he said sarcastically as I simply rolled my eyes. "Actually you weren't asleep for that long. I went down to the cafeteria to get a coffee and when I came back you were already awake, and well… you know what was going on, it was just a minute ago."

"I'm sorry," I said remorsefully as I bowed my head slightly and Jacob slipped his finger under my chin and lifted it slowly, much like Edward used to do. Fuck, I needed to stop thinking about him because I was never going to move on or get better if my heart and head focused solely on him.

"Stop apologizing," stated Jacob fiercely as he kissed the top of my head and looked towards my nightstand, where a small folded piece of paper rested. Where the hell had that come from? I couldn't recall seeing it earlier in the day when Jacob was here the first time.

"Is that yours?" I asked casually as Jacob picked it up and shoved it into his back pocket, without even taking a second glance.

"Yeah, I must have dropped it when I was in here early. Notes for my trig exam tomorrow. I wrote a bunch down and thought I would study a bit if you fell asleep while I visited. I guess one of your nurses picked it up and put it on the desk," he said as he looked around the room, assessing everything, like he was looking for something else.

"Why didn't you bring your text book instead? Wouldn't that have been easier to study from?"

"Too heavy. Plus, like you needed a reminder of school right? Did you want me to drag my backpack up here and toss out a few binders and books to remind you all of that shit you are missing back at Forks High?" he asked as I shook my head in the negative. I didn't want to think at all about what I was missing. I knew I wouldn't be well enough to go to prom, so that wasn't even a thought, but graduation was something I was looking forward to. However, based on the fact that I struggled to keep my eyes open most days, I wasn't exactly getting through the schoolwork Rosalie & Alice were bringing for me, and I refused to cheat, even though they weren't adverse to it at all. I was beginning to come to terms with the fact that if I did survive this, I would probably have to do senior year over again… well half a semester at least.

"Thanks. You always know what I need it seems," I said simply as Jacob grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers, in a gesture that was more intimate to me than it should have been. I pulled away and Jacob tried to hide the hurt that was obvious in his voice.

"I didn't mean that like… well, you know what I didn't mean it like. I was trying to go for a friendly gesture, not a romantic one," said Jacob with a sigh as I looked down and simply placed my hand over his.

"A friendly gesture huh? Do you and Quil or Embry walk around holding hands?" I questioned with one quirked eyebrow as Jacob laughed loudly before finally calming his breathing and agreeing with me.

"No, I guess I don't. Plus, that would just be gross. Quil has cooties," he said with an even louder laugh, and I was relieved by the loss of anxiety in the air. Things were casual, normal and we were having fun. This was why Jacob kept coming around; he was the best distraction I could ever have, both from my illness and my constant thoughts of Edward.

~*~*~

The next few days moved by slowly. I was poked, prodded and provided with copious doses of drugs during my next two chemotherapy sessions. They were tiring, frustrating and most of all… lonely. It seemed like all I wanted to do was sleep when I wasn't being drugged or tested. Sure, Charlie, Alice, Rosalie and Jacob came by to visit… but I was still holding out hope that Edward would come, but he didn't, and I was beginning to resign myself to the fact that he may never show up.

Things were only amplified when Alice and Rosalie showed up early on Saturday morning, all smiles and practically skipping into the room. "We come bearing gifts," shouted Alice excitedly as I let out a small groan as she held up a shiny red gift bag covered in silver hearts. Fuck, it was Valentines Day.

"Lovely," I replied sarcastically as they both offered me nervous smiles, and I suddenly felt like shit for ruining their good day. I tried my best to put on my happy face without giving away the fact that I was actually hurting inside. "Okay, what do we have here?"

"Well, now that you seem a little bit excited about it," joked Alice as she sat down on the edge of the bed while Rosalie brought my tray over so that Alice could pull things out for me to see. "There are some chocolates. A few romance novels, because who doesn't like to read smut? I also got you a stuffed heart that sings Celine Dion… it's what every girl wants."

"I tried to stop her, I really did," laughed Rosalie as I pulled the stuffed heart out of the bag and gave it a small squeeze, letting out a small groan as it began to sing 'My Heart Will Go On'. How appropriate, I laughed to myself. It was cute, and really did make me feel a bit better. "She was like the Tasmanian devil when we got into the store, picking everything she could get her hands on. There are also some cards in the bag. One from Jasper & Emmett, another from Angela and Ben too. Oh, and Esme gave us one as well for you."

"Oh," I said, my voice cracking slightly as it hit me that some of my closest friends had gotten me something, but Edward had not. Hell, I knew so little about his frame of mind and what was going on, that I had to wonder if he was even still in Forks, since no one talked about him. I shook my head from the thoughts and cracked a smile again. "This is really awesome guys. Thanks so much."

Rather than continue to discuss my own heartbreak, I encouraged Alice and Rosalie to tell me all about their plans for Valentines Day, which led to a three hour discussion. We talked for almost half an hour about Alice's dilemma of what dress to wear, and half of the time Rosalie and I were both rolling our eyes because she wouldn't shut up. Rosalie had decided to simply make Emmett dinner at her parents' house and watch a movie, choosing something simple that they could both enjoy over something fancy and expensive, although Rosalie was nervous about the sheer quantity of food she was planning to cook, since Emmett had a massive appetite. "I'm sure we'll have sex, since I heard through the grapevine that he got me a bracelet," Rosalie added with a laugh before my nurse came in and reminded me I had another appointment for chemo this afternoon.

The girls bid me a fond farewell and we shared very long hugs that made me almost breakdown in tears. It hurt to know that they were about to go off and celebrate with their boyfriends, while I basically suffered in silence. Mere moments after they left, Jacob walked in carrying a huge vase filled with red and pink roses, which literally took my breath away. They were simply stunning.

"Happy Valentines Day," he said happily as I kept staring at the flowers, completely in awe of their beauty. I knew red symbolized love, but I wasn't sure what the hell pink stood for. "I hope you like these."

"Why… what… where… where did you get them from?" I questioned, still in shock as he rested them on my nightstand beside my bed and then kissed me gently on the cheek.

"I beat up a guy in the elevator," he said with a nervous laugh as I punched him gently on the shoulder as he sat down in the chair beside my bed. "Okay fine… I got them down at Port Angeles Blooms, the flower shop over on Delaware St. I may not be able to get the new carburetor for my Rabbit now, but it was worth it to see the smile they put on your face."

"Thanks," I gushed honestly as my tired fingers felt the tips of the roses, their softness making me smile brighter. "This really was a wonderful surprise, but I have one question. I know red roses symbolize love, but what about pink ones?"

"Well, Nelly down at the shop said pink stood for friendship. So this is me telling you that I love our friendship," he stated as I reached over an intertwined my fingers in his, which made him positively glow with excitement. "I'll take that as a sign that you like them then."

"I don't like them Jacob… I love them, just like I love having you as one of my best friends," I declared genuinely as he pulled me into a gentle hug and the nurse walked into my room, eager to get me prepped for chemo. "If I wasn't about to be pumped full of drugs and then sleep for a while, I would have you stay."

"It's alright Bella. I'm just glad to see I put a smile on your face. Now keep it there until I get back tomorrow, and I'll be the happiest guy alive," he admitted as I nodded my head sheepishly and he gave me one more peck on the cheek before heading out of the room. "I'll see you in the morning."

I gave Jacob a small wave and leaned back in my bed, desperate to get my therapy over for the day. However, since I had nothing but time as I sat there, I couldn't help but stare at the flowers and think. It was such a sweet gesture for Jacob, but it was completely out of character for him. He was more of a sentimental kind of guy, and I hadn't really known him to do things that were grand romantic gestures. That was more of Edward's department. Between the climbing into my window after homecoming and dancing with me, to planning our first date so perfectly, the flowers were really more something that Edward would have done.

However, Edward wasn't here; Jacob was. Jacob was being my friend, a sounding board for my complaints and was a constant companion since this whole relapse happened. I let out a huge sigh of resignation and decided that I desperately needed to stop worrying so much about Edward and focus on my friendships and most importantly, myself. So I squared my shoulders and pressed my call button, letting Nurse Chandra know I was ready for chemo. Hell, I was ready for anything right now, but most of all, I was ready to get healthy.

**A/N: Thanks so much to everyone for their wonderful reviews on the last chapter. I know things seem a bit rough, but good things come to those who wait right?**

**Thanks to my wonderful beta MaggieMay14, even though she did threaten to kill me once she read this chapter. Much love to my awesome pre-readers Risbee, Tilly Whitlock, Kiki Enigma and Beegurl13, who encouraged the madness in this chapter, so feel free to blame her. She's all about the angst these days. If you don't believe me, go check out her story 'What Hurts the Most' from the Broken Fairytales contest. Did I tell you she won and is now doing an expanded ending beta'd by yours truly? No… well now you know.**

**Anywhoo, if you want something else good to read, go check out my C2 of Underappreciated Fics. We have had a bunch of really good stories added lately, but I can't list them all here, so I listed them there.**

**Now… go write your reviews of hate to me. I know, a lot of you really liked Jacob. Do you still like him? Bwahahahaha. *evil cackle* **


	25. My Teenage Breakdown

**A/N: Holy cow… you guys really hate Jacob huh? The last chapter actually brought me my most reviews for one individual chapter ever, so thank you guys so much! If we happen to beat the last chapter with reviews, I promise to post the new chapter ASAP. It's with the beta as we speak, so think about it.**

**Bear in mind that I am in no way a medical professional. I work in finance and was lucky enough to have computer malfunctions this week at work while helped me write the next two chapters. All my medical information is from thorough research, so if it's wrong, don't shoot me. I'm trying here people!**

**I don't own Twilight, I do however, have three tickets to see 'Playhouse Disney Live in Stage' and am taking the daughter to it today. So enjoy the chapter!**

**BPOV**

The days began to blur together in the most unwelcome way as I remained stuck in my hospital bed at Port Angeles General Hospital. Sometimes I couldn't even tell if it was night or day, or which day of the week it was because I spent so much time sleeping during the first few weeks after I began my chemotherapy. It was not exactly a shining moment in my life. I also found myself wondering if the treatment was worse than the disease, because things just didn't seem like they were getting better.

My appetite fluctuated almost as much as Alice's moods when she came to visit, and on a good day I found it difficult to eat and keep anything down. Every time the nurses threatened to feed me via IV, I managed to eat a little bit more that day, but the nausea always hit and the food didn't last long in my body. I knew my weight had fallen below a hundred pounds, but I was trying. I really felt like I was getting stronger, especially on the days that I was resting from my chemo treatments. Okay, that was a blatant lie, I felt like shit ninety nine percent of the time these days.

There was still no sign of Edward, but a week after Valentine's Day, I found myself relieved that he wasn't coming around. I really didn't want him to see me like this… like a frail, pathetic, shell of my former self. I wanted him to remember me as the girl who was alive, full of energy, the girl who he fell in love with. Not the girl who was going bald from chemo, as Alice discovered when she decided she wanted to brush my hair.

"Bella, you look like shit. Just give me five minutes, a little makeup and you might even crack a smile. We haven't seen you smile in days," Alice said to me sweetly as she tried to convince me on Sunday to brush my hair. I glanced over at the bouquet of flowers which Alice had tied up with a ribbon and hung from my curtain rod. She claimed she was drying them out so I would have them forever, a reminder of my friendship with Jacob, she insisted. I found it weird, but I had faith in her because she was really the most comforting of all of my friends and family. Besides Charlie, she visited me the most and brought the oddest things to keep me busy, today's gift being a ping pong paddle with a ball on it. It was stupid, but I had to fight back a smile because she was genuine in her affection and I loved her all the more for it.

Of course Charlie couldn't come as often as I wanted him too, but we had found a great routine that worked for us. He did his usual work schedule, but got off an hour earlier on weekdays to come and see me. He fed Scrappy, my poor little dog, in the mornings and Alice and Rosalie took turns feeding him at lunch at and dinner. I felt pretty pathetic for the fact that I had a dog and could barely see him, but Charlie assured me that he was doing well. I was surprised when he told me that Jacob would often come over and play with him, keep him company when Scrappy was getting sad about me being away. Even my Dad relied on help from Jacob and I found myself relieved that he was such a close friend and practically a member of our family. Jake had even encouraged me a few times to get cleaned up or brush my hair, but it was Alice who finally convinced me.

"Fine, but please be gentle. I get headaches easily these days, which is why I have my hair in a braid most days. Hell, showering is a bitch in these tiny little showers they have here," I declared as Alice let out a small laugh. She was lucky though because she didn't need help getting into the shower or doing any of the other mundane things that I used to take for granted.

The moment Alice led the small brush through my hair, I knew something was wrong. The gasp that fell from her mouth just made everything make sense to me. "It's happening again isn't it?" I asked as I looked over my shoulder and Alice nodded, her lips drawn into a tight line. "Don't look so upset. It's not your fault Alice. We knew this was going to happen." I reached up and ran my hand through my hair, pulling out a small clump of my brown locks. The sight of the hair within my hands made me feel sick to my stomach and I made Alice grab the bucket so that I could throw up what was left of my lunch from earlier in the day and I held back the urge to cry.

"Do you still have your wig from the first time?" Alice questioned, as I broke out into a mixture of tears and laughter, my hands immediately weaving through my hair to pull out what I could, which thankfully wasn't too much yet.

"No, of course not. It was child sized and did you really think I would keep a reminder like that around?" I asked as I threw my hair onto the floor in a fit of anger and wiped the tears from my eyes. That wig was the last thing that Renee had given me before she left. I used it after she left simply out of necessity and not out of want. The moment my hair started growing back in and it looked somewhat decent, I threw the fucking thing away with a satisfied grin. My emotions regarding everything were getting bloody ridiculous, because one moment I was fine with the fact that this was happening, resigned even. However, now I was unsure of what to do. "Do you think I should just shave it all off?"

"Um, no."

"Then what the hell should I do?" I pleaded as Alice grabbed my laptop from my nightstand and turned it on. She quickly sat down beside me and directed us to a website about wigs, hats and scarves for people undergoing cancer treatments. "I'm going to look like Raquel Welch?" I asked with a laugh as we scanned through the site and that was the first thing I noticed.

"Well no... you're not in your sixties Bella. I'm sure they have something more your style," Alice declared as we scrolled through the site together, giggling at some of them because we knew they would be hideous on me. "Do you want to go blonde?"

"Yeah, no. Next," I laughed, my voice sounding relieved since Alice was doing a great job of taking my mind off of everything. "You think I would look good in that one?" I asked through clenched teeth as I pointed to a red head with a huge perm and Alice just hit the button directing us to the next page as she silently shook her head in the negative. "I didn't think so either."

"Ooh, look at this one… the Dominique. You could turn into a sex kitten with that hair. Doesn't it look like she just rolled out of bed after being fucked senseless?" questioned Alice with a grin as she pointed to the hair on the screen that looked to be a bit too much like Sue Ellen Ewing from Dallas, which I had caught on repeats on TV recently. "I bet Edward would…" Alice cut herself off before she said anything further, but I rested my hand on her shoulder to reassure her. It wasn't her fault at all that she felt like she couldn't talk about him. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize Alice. If I wasn't sick, you would be able to joke about things like this with me. I refuse to let Edward's stupidity cloud my recovery. If he can't be man enough to come here and see me, then he's probably not man enough to help me through this shit," I admitted as I squeezed her hand tightly as I tried to encourage her. "What about this one… the Ashley?"

"It's cute… but umm… Edward came to see you last Monday," said Alice under her breath, catching me completely off guard. I did the math in my head and came to the realization that this was over ten days ago, so why was I only now hearing about this? I narrowed my eyes and shot Alice a look of complete disbelief as she began to speak again, no doubt understanding my need for more information. "You were asleep when he came in, so according to Jasper, he sat with you for a little bit and talked to you."

My heart literally jumped out of my chest in excitement, but I let out a long breath and came to my senses. Just because he came to see me while I was asleep, that was no reason to get my hopes up. After all, it's not like he had been back since and I hadn't heard anything else from him, so why should I care? "So… the Ashley? Do you like it?" I asked of Alice, steering us from the topic of Edward's visit as I pointed to the screen and the picture of the girl with the long straight layers of hair, in a decent shade of brown. It wasn't perfect, but it would do.

"Yeah, I guess it's the closest to your natural hair," she said quietly as I looked back at her and found her eyes silently pleading with me. "I think you should call him and invite him over."

"I think you should take your nose out of my business. The ball is in Edward's court and if he refuses to come and see me while I am conscious, what am I supposed to do?" I stated furiously as Charlie walked into the room a moment later, looking a little disappointed in me for fighting with Alice.

"What am I missing?"

"Where's your credit card Charlie?" asked Alice, which made both of us open our eyes wide in surprise.

"If there is one person on the face of this earth that is not touching my credit card, it would be you Alice Brandon," laughed my father as Alice and I giggled along with him, glad for the distraction from our argument about Edward. It was frustrating and I knew I was angering her, but whatever she had to say about him, I just didn't want to hear it. Edward needed to come and see me if he wanted to talk.

"Sorry there Chief, I'm ordering a wig for Bella. It seems the hair loss is starting sooner than it did last time and she doesn't have that fancy Tinkerbell looking wig that she had before," Alice stated firmly as she kept eye contact with my dad. It didn't surprise me in the least that he simply reached into his back pocket and pulled out his American Express card, handing it to her with ease as she ordered the wig and several head scarves with various modern patterns for me online.

The rest of our afternoon passed casually with Alice sticking around for another hour before finally heading home, my father having to remind her to return his credit card before she left. Charlie went down to the cafeteria and brought us back a few slices of pizza to have for dinner, thinking I would probably prefer it to the Salisbury steak I was supposed to have from the nurses, which tasted like moldy boot to me. When he left just before eight at night, I found it easy to fall to sleep, but I didn't stay that way. Dreams of Edward haunted me like most nights, but I tried to remain calm and managed a few hours of consecutive sleep before I was awoken the next morning.

Mondays were my least favorite day, because I usually started another cycle of chemo after being off for a few days. Family and friends tended to always come on Sundays, as informed by Charlie, because I felt the best on that day. Of course, Alice, Rosalie, Charlie, Jacob and even Esme, came more often, but when Esme came we never talked about Edward. We could casually discuss anything and everything, but not him.

My oncologist came in every day to meet with me and explain what was going on, the results of my latest blood tests and whether the chemo was working. On this particular Monday, the 23rd of February and almost a month after being admitted, when my oncologist came in to see me, he wasn't alone. Charlie was with him and dressed in his uniform. This wasn't a usual occurrence because it was one in the afternoon and Charlie was supposed to be back in Forks at the police station. Something was definitely up.

"Afternoon Isabella," Dr. Winston, my oncologist, said casually as he strolled in and stood beside my bed as Charlie sat beside me, his hand immediately going to mine to comfort me, but I pulled it away. I wasn't in the mood to be coddled because I was tired of being treated like a child. I wasn't nine years old anymore.

"What's the bad news? It's bad news right? I don't see anyone in the room smiling with the exception of J.R. Ewing on my TV, so just tell me," I stammered nervously. I darted my eyes between my doctor and my father, hoping to see some signs of hope, but I was greeted with nothing from both of them. This was not a good sign. "Just tell me. It's like pulling off a band-aid."

"Well, we're only getting a partial response from your chemotherapy treatment. We were hoping to have seen a bigger reaction from your blood tests after you have finished your first two cycles of therapy. Because you have gone through this before, we were hopeful that things would have gone better than they have," Dr. Winston explained as I reached over and grabbed Charlie's hands, his eyes filling up with sadness. "On a good note though, the leukemia is not getting worse, a partial response is much better than progression or stability."

I nodded my head slowly as I brushed the tears from my eyes and Charlie hugged me sweetly, his unmistakable scent filling my senses and giving me a feeling of calm I hadn't felt since they had walked into the room.

"How many more cycles of therapy?" I asked quietly, as I assessed my surroundings and felt anxious that I would have to stay in the hospital longer than I originally thought.

"We're not one hundred percent sure yet," he stated as I rested my head on Charlie's shoulder and he lightly brushed his hand over my head. Only a few small clumps of hair had come out, so my balding wasn't completely noticeable, but it definitely sucked. I was looking forward to my wig arriving in the next week or so, giving me to chance to shave my head. "I'm thinking there will be six cycles at the most, if the chemotherapy continues to deplete the cancer cells the way it has been. So think positive, you're a third of the way there."

"Does that mean I have only like two months left in here?" I asked, the hopeful inflection in my voice not lost on Charlie or Dr. Winston.

"I don't want to give you false hope Isabella. I'm not sure about the short or long term effects of your treatment or what side effects you will have during the cycles. Everything is going along smoothly right now, but that could change. We needed two cycles of chemo to be completed before we could measure any sort of response because this is a reoccurrence of the cancer." With those simple words, I lost almost all hope in the situation. I wasn't going anywhere for a little while, there was no way I was graduating with my friends and my life was basically at a standstill while I tried to combat this. I was fighting for my life and losing.

Things turned from bad to worse when I heard a noise at the door and I looked up tentatively, my hands still locked with Charlie's and saw Edward standing at the door. "What the hell are you doing here?" I shouted angrily as I squeezed Charlie's hand and he began rubbing my back supportively.

"I came to apologize."

**EPOV**

Monday morning was bound to suck. It was raining outside, washing away the small traces of snow that had fallen on the weekend. I had seen very little of my parents or friends, opting instead to stay in my room and wallow because I hadn't heard anything from Bella after leaving my note and sending the flowers to her. I had practically worn down the area of carpet in my bedroom where I had paced, waiting for her to call and wondering what the hell I had done wrong. I didn't want to call her because this wasn't the kind of thing we should have been discussing over the phone. I wanted her to pick up the phone and simply tell me she read my note and that she loved me too. Hell, at this point I would take 'I read the note. We need to talk.'

Hell, I had practically poured my heart out to her in that note and begged her to call me, to give me a second chance and I heard nothing in response. Perhaps my letter was just too late and I was pathetic for even trying. I called Jasper on Saturday night to get his take on things, but he was heading out to dinner with Alice, who he informed me was spending Sunday with Bella at the hospital since Rosalie had been dragged out of town with her parents. I begged him to find out for me how Bella had reacted regarding the note, but he refused, not wanting to be put in the middle of the situation. I relented because he was my best friend I would hate to be put in between my girlfriend and my best friend if the situation was reversed. Jasper even suggested I come with them on Sunday to the hospital, but I didn't want to overstep my bounds. What if Bella had read the note and simply wasn't ready to talk to me yet?

I ended up talking to Jasper again on Sunday night, hoping to get some sort of reassurance from him that Bella was doing better because he was supposed to have visited her, but he admitted to me that he hadn't made it to PAGH after all. His mother desperately needed his help at home, so Alice went by herself and he would be going on Wednesday after class with the girls to see her again. Once again he hinted at me going with them to visit, but I was still anxiously waiting for her phone call.

So on Monday morning when I pulled into the parking lot of Forks High and heard the loud screeches of Miranda Lambert coming from Rosalie's massive pickup truck, I should have known something was going down.

_Hey I'm goin' home, gonna load my shotgun  
Wait by the door and light a cigarette  
If he wants a fight well now he's got one  
And he ain't seen me crazy yet  
He slapped my face and he shook me like a rag doll  
Don't that sound like a real man?  
I'm gonna show him what little girls are made of  
Gunpowder and lead_

"Nice music choice Rose," I said sarcastically as I moved closer towards her and she whipped her head around, her long blonde hair sweeping over her shoulder as she turned off her truck and hopped down, looking furious. "Did you break a nail? Someone cut you off on your way here?"

"You," she shouted as she poked me hard in the middle of the chest and her dark eyes narrowed on me as she moved forward, effectively moving me back until I was against the Ford Focus parked two spots over from her truck. "You are a complete fucking asshole."

"Duly noted," I replied as her bright red lips tensed into a narrow line and she looked like she was about to rip my head off and feed it to her young. "What's your problem?"

"Why the hell haven't you gone to see her yet?" she shrieked and I wanted to back away, hell I wanted to run like the wind, but before I had a chance, she had her fingers wrapped around my forearm, her perfectly manicured nails digging into my coat as a light rain fell around us.

"I went to see her."

"While she was conscious?"

"Fuck you Rosalie. You don't know what I have been going through. Do you think it's easy to sit back and watch the person you love fade away? How would you feel if it was Emmett in that bed?" I yelled in response, not overly keen at the way she was treating me. Some of our other classmates were filtering in to go to class, but they were all moving slowly, stopping to watch the scene that was unfolding before their eyes.

"If it was Emmett in that bed, I would be at his side supporting him and comforting him. Doing whatever the hell he needed me to do," she replied, the anger rolling off of her as Emmett came over to wrap his arm around her shoulder, which she shrugged off, much to his surprise.

"Rose baby, let's go inside hon. No one needs to see this," exclaimed Emmett as he reached out for her hand again, but she refused him and continued to stare at me. It was pointless to try to get away since there was now basically a circle around us as we argued.

"No Emmett, Edward needs to go to the hospital and be a fucking man. He claims he loves Bella, but if he really did, he would be spending all of his free time with her. She needs him, and we all know this but apparently he doesn't," she said snidely as she poked me in the chest again and I swatted her hand away, further inciting her fury. However at this point, with her embarrassing me in front of the rest of the school, I didn't really care if I made her angrier with me. "You didn't spend an hour on the phone with her last night Edward. I did. I listened to her cry about how she was doing, how lonely she felt and how she was starting to lose her hair. I listened Edward. Where were you?"

I opened my mouth to say something in retaliation, aiming to hurt her feelings like she had been doing to me since I walked towards her truck, but nothing came out. Instead, I tossed my backpack over my shoulder and headed to my car, unable to actually go into the school. There was no way I would be able to focus on anything school related after the fight between Rosalie and me, especially after what she had just told me. I pulled out of the parking lot at breakneck speed, ignoring the fact that my cell phone was ringing in my pocket and drove out of town, with no particular destination in mind.

At almost eleven o'clock that morning, I found myself driving around Port Angeles, unsure of where to go. I stopped at a local coffee shop and grabbed a coffee and a blueberry muffin, while sitting at a table near the window and began picking aimlessly at the muffin as I thought about everything that had happened earlier in the day.

My heart ached as I thought of her calling Rosalie last night and crying into the phone, no doubt confessing to her all her fears and concerns, which was something I should have been there for. I should have been the one who held her tight as she told me how worried she was, or how bad she felt. I should have been the one helping her deal with the aches and pains of chemo, holding her hair back if she needed to be sick and reassuring her when her hair began to fall out. However, I was too scared to deal with any of it.

I hurried out of the coffee shop and practically sprinted to my car, where I huddled inside from the cold and buried my face in my hands, against the steering wheel. I looked down at the clock and saw that it was lunch time. I brushed the small tears that had fallen from my eyes and made up my mind. Today was the day I was going to see Bella.

Of course, when I walked into her room after struggling with myself, while sitting in my Volvo, for almost an hour regarding what I was going to say to her. When I finally headed towards her room and waited for her to see me by the door, I got the response I was expecting the moment she laid eyes on me.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to apologize," I stated with shaky confidence, trying not to let my fears get to me as I looked at her in the eyes and saw only sadness. "Is this a bad time?" I asked as I looked between Charlie, who was perched at her side and who I assumed was her doctor. Of course, had I been the diligent and caring boyfriend I should have been, I would have known this.

"Edward," Charlie said as he let go of his grip on Bella's hand and stood up, walking towards me. "You should be in school son." I could tell by the tone in his voice, the way it shook as he spoke to me that something else was going on in this room and I had interrupted them. When I looked back over to Bella, her eyes were red and I could easily discern that she had been crying. This was definitely not good.

"No dad, it's fine. No time like the present right? What else could possibly fucking go wrong today," Bella forced out as more tears fell from her face and she looked between the three of us men, all standing at the end of her bed. It took all of my willpower not to go over to her and wipe the tears from her eyes as I pulled her into my arms and console her. Based on the look of pure hatred that currently covered her face as she looked at me, her eyes practically burning through me, she would probably kick my ass if I even tried to comfort her.

Charlie cleared his throat beside me as he looked at Bella with disappointment. "Watch your language please. I know you are frustrated and disappointed, but it doesn't mean you should speak like that in front of me and Dr. Winston. I know I raised you better," he said as he walked towards her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders kissing the top of her head. "You and Edward need to talk, so I am going to head back to the station but I will be back around six for dinner alright?" Bella nodded her head in response and she whispered a quiet 'sorry' as Charlie walked out of the room with Dr. Winston at his side, who reminded me once again to avoid stress and take it easy if I wanted my recovery to progress. Charlie then patted me on the shoulder and gave me a quick apologetic look, reinforcing the fact that I was in for a rough time this afternoon.

Once they were gone, I moved towards the door and closed it firmly, before turning back towards Bella who looked even angrier than Rosalie did this morning when I encountered her outside of school. "You have twenty minutes. Talk."

"What's happening in twenty minutes?" I questioned, as Bella groaned and pushed her tray table away from in front of her.

"My next chemo treatment. Of course, you would know this if you had been around at all in the past month," she stated decisively and without emotion. In fact, I was surprised at how cold she was being. I was expecting more crying, perhaps her to throw a few things. Then again, it was early in my visit.

"I'm sorry. Really and truly sorry about it Bella, I wrote it all in my note," I said quietly as I sat in the seat beside her bed, but she looked at me in confusion. "You read my note right?"

"No, I didn't read any fucking note," she yelled out, her voice sounding a bit hoarse. "And nothing you write on a piece of paper is going to make up for the fact that you haven't been around for the past month. A month Edward… what the fuck makes you think I would simply forgive you after it took you a month to come and see me."

"I came a few days ago…" I began to say before Bella interrupted me.

"So I heard. You came, I was sleeping and you left," she retorted, the anger in her voice not wavering at all. I looked down at her hands, which were clenched tightly around her bedspread and her knuckles looked even whiter than usual. As my eyes moved slowly up her body, I couldn't help the fact that I felt like I had been kicked in the gut as I got a good look at her. Her eyes were red from crying, but they were also slightly sunken in. Her hair was thinning, just like Rosalie had claimed and she was so tiny now. Hell, if Emmett was to hug her, he would probably break a rib or something.

"I came in and you were with Jacob, hugging," I explained, my entire body tensing up at the memory of finding him with her. "I didn't want to interrupt figuring you would probably prefer to see Jacob over me, and not wanting to cause you any undue stress, but when I came back you were asleep. I sat with you for a few minutes, held your hand and talked to you." I reached over tentatively to take her hand into mine, wanting some sort contact between us so she could see how genuine I was being, but Bella pulled away and scowled at me.

"You're right, Edward, I do prefer hanging out with Jacob over you. He has been here for me during the entire process. He's entertained me, distracted me and even spoke positively of you, if you can believe it. He told me to have faith in you, that this was hard for you too because you loved me so much, but after a month of you not showing up, I don't believe it. I can't believe that you ever loved me as much as I loved you," she shouted loudly as the door to her room opened and the nurse I spoke to on the day I came in and sat with Bella when she was sleeping, walked in looking at both of us with a frown.

"You," she said as she looked me over, recognition crossing her face as Bella glanced between the two of us. "It's about time you came back."

"Yeah," I said casually as I ran my fingers through my hair in anxiousness. "There was a communication breakdown between the two of us and I'm late… but I'm here."

"Better late than never right?" she commented as Bella scoffed under her breath.

"Not so much Chandra," Bella added as my eyes grew wide. Fuck, this was not going anyway like I had hoped it would. Then again, I guess I wouldn't be lucky enough to find out that she was cancer free, no chance of remission and we would run off into the sunset together, both of us going to college together in the fall. Pipe dreams, I know. "Edward here has a lot to make up for and I'm honestly not sure it will happen. Ever."

"I'll give you guys some privacy, but please keep your voices down. There are other patients on this floor," said Chandra politely as we both nodded our heads in acknowledgement. "And don't forget you have chemo in ten minutes. Keep your stress level to a minimum Bella."

"Sure thing boss," she replied with a casual air about her that disappeared the moment her nurse walked out of the room closing the door behind her. "I'd like you to leave now."

"How the hell am I supposed to make this up to you if you don't let me talk to you?" I pleaded as Bella's eyes grew sad again and I felt like I had been slapped. My entire body ached at the thought that she wouldn't even consider anything I had to say. So before she had a chance to physically kick me from the room, I spoke from the heart.

"The moment your dad told me you were sick, my life literally ended Bella. I felt like I had been teetering on the edge of a bridge, ready to plunge into the icy water below, but someone pushed me instead, giving me no choice in the matter. Imagine being in love with someone since your childhood, feeling like you were meant to be with this person forever, and then finding out they could die. A part of me died when your dad said you had leukemia, the rational part. Did anyone tell you what I have been doing since you told me?" Bella shook her head quietly from side to side in the negative and I took a deep breath and opened myself up to her. "First I went to Lake Olympia and sat on my car in the freezing cold trying to come to grips with everything. Then I fucking puked in the woods… it made me so physically sick to know you were ill… that you could possibly die so fucking young, before we could do anything I wanted us too and I couldn't handle it. Fuck, I still can't handle it."

"I didn't lose faith in you or us… I lost faith in myself. How the hell was I supposed to support and comfort you, when I could barely find the strength to get up in the morning? I drank. Fuck, I drank a lot for the first few days, finding comfort in several bottles of booze and everyone yelled at me. They all told me to pull my head out of my ass but I couldn't do it. I couldn't sit there and watch you die, feeling helpless to it all. I wanted to fix you; I wanted to be with you always. Hell, I was going to submit my acceptance to UW so I could stay here to be near you because I loved you more than I wanted to fulfill my dreams of going out east to go to college."

"Then I realized something, as everyone yelled at me and told me to go to you, I realized that you didn't trust me," I stammered, as I fought back the tears that always seemed to come forth when I thought about this. Perhaps this was truly the reason why I didn't call or come sooner. We had spent so long trying to trust each other, but Bella never truly trusted me the entire time we were together.

"I trusted you with my life Edward," Bella claimed as I let out a small scoff under my breath.

"If you trusted me so much Bella, why did everyone in our lives know that you were sick when you were younger? How come everyone else knew that you were going through a relapse now? I understand that my parents are legally bound from telling me anything because my dad is your doctor and my mother his nurse, but Jesus Bella… It's like a swift kick to the gut with a steel toed boot to find out everyone knew but me. Oh… wait, Emmett didn't know. Was I really on the same level as Emmett? Had everything we said and been to each other really been as inconsequential as your relationship with your friends boyfriend?" I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging on the ends as I tried to transfer the pain I felt in my heart to my body. My heart was breaking with each word I said to her and I couldn't stop it. I felt like I was being held under water and I was struggling to breathe.

"Of course not Edward," Bella said sadly, her voice cracking as she hung her head, her chin resting against her chest. "You were everything."

"And now?" I asked stoically as I looked down at the bed, but not at her because I didn't want to see the pain in her eyes. Even though I had told her how I was feeling, almost everything I had said in the letter came from my lips; I didn't think I had made a difference. I looked up at her window and saw a bunch of flowers hanging upside down, drying, like Esme tended to do with some of her favorite flowers in the spring. "Nice flowers."

"Jacob."

"Excuse me?" I said loudly, my voice ringing with shock. Where the hell had she gotten the impression that Jacob had sent those flowers? I looked around again, but didn't see any other flowers and I had called the florist to confirm my delivery was received. What the hell was going on? "Did you say Jacob sent you those?"

"No. He was here on Valentine's Day. He brought them with him, because unlike you Jacob came to see me. I was even awake when he stopped in," she said icily as Chandra walked in the room again and Bella nodded, knowing full well that she would have to go to her appointment now. I went to say something to contradict her story of the flowers, because I had an idea that asshole had paid off the delivery guy and claimed they were from him, but the moment I went to speak, Bella raised her hand to silence me. "If you had come here a few days after I was admitted, maybe three or five days even, I might have been able to overlook everything."

"But…" I began to say but Bella silenced me and continued talking.

"You had your turn. It's mine now," she stated forcefully as I sat back in the chair, feeling like the wind was being knocked out of me. My hands shook against my knees and I knew I would be going home today either the luckiest fucker alive, or feeling completely empty. "A month Edward… a fucking month. Did you think I would just forgive you because I am remorseful for not telling you sooner? I can understand your need to be angry, to keep your distance for a little while, but this was ridiculous. I can't…"

"You can't what?" I said, my eyes pleading with her to finish because I had to know one way or another what future, if any, I had with her.

"I can't go back in time and tell you I was sick… that I am sick. You can't go back in time and realize that love is more important than anything else and that you should have been with me on that first night. You should have been here with Charlie, Alice and Rosalie. It should have been you stroking my hair, watching Dallas or Jeopardy and doing crossword puzzles with me. All I wanted was you," Bella said as her small tears came out a bigger sobs and I moved to hold her, but she pushed me away. "You have no idea how many nights I cried over you. How many times I had to listen as people gave excuses about why you didn't show up? Your mother and I can't even talk about you because I cry too much and she hates to see me cry."

"I'm a fucking idiot, I know this," I announced loudly as I took her hand in mine for a moment, her softness was gone and she felt dry and brittle, much like my soul. She pulled away and when I looked at her, she wasn't the same girl I had fallen in love with. This Bella was broken. "All I want is one more chance."

"I can't do it Edward. I need to focus on me, to get better for me," she said quietly and my heart broke into a thousand pieces. "If you ever loved me, just let me go. Let me make it through the day, go to my therapy and get healthy. After all, I'm untouchable right? Not the kind of girl you should be with?"

"Where did you hear that?"

"You told Jasper that on the beach at Lake Olympia during that party over Labor Day weekend. I guess you were right huh?" she stated as I opened my eyes wide in surprise. I had no idea that she had heard us talking all those months ago. Why the hell did she even bother dating me in the first place?

"Was I on your list?" I questioned as Chandra came in with a small tray on a cart and began looked anxiously between Bella and I as Bella stared at me incredulously. Chandra sensed that things were still tense, so she stepped away for a moment and gave us a few more moments of privacy as my mind began running a mile a minute. I was starting to get furious because she dated me even though she knew I thought I was too good for her. Why would she date me? "I know you had a fucking bucket list Bella. The bungee jumping, the skinny dipping… all that shit made sense when I found out you're sick. So, was I on the list?"

"Would it make this easier if I said yes?" she asked, trying to sound casual about everything but I could see her face was giving away her feelings. Bella appeared strong and resolute, but I knew this was hurting her just as much as it was hurting me. Unfortunately, we didn't seem to be able to get past it all. I looked at her, my heart trying to jump out of my chest since it was beating so fast and I suddenly felt the urge to drive to her house and find that fucking list to prove my point.

"All it would do is make me hate you for having me fall in love with you. It's pretty heartless, like it was a fucking game to you. 'Let's see how fast we can break Edward's heart?" I stated firmly as I backed away from her, unable to hold back my anger at the entire fucked up situation. "If this was a game to you Bella… congratulations, you win! I fell in love with you and you broke my fucking heart. Perhaps I should have listened to myself with all that 'untouchable' shit I used to spout. I'm a fucking idiot for following my heart."

"Edward," Bella began to say as I cut my hand through the air, trying to silence her. I had to get my question answered before we went any further in this argument.

"Was I on your fucking list Bella?"

The awkward seconds grew into minutes as we stared at each other and she didn't speak, so I began heading towards the door. "I guess I have my answer huh? People have been giving me grief for the past month about not coming to see you, but I wonder how everyone would feel if they knew you had been so callous with my feelings since September." With one hand on the knob, I turned back to look at her, tears pouring down her face as her nurse prepared her for her treatment. This is how I would always remember her; broken.

I slammed the door behind me in fury, the shitty painting on the wall outside her door shaking slightly from the impact. As I walked towards the bank of elevators, my heart and soul completely crushed from everything that had happened, I could hear screaming in the background. Then there was a loud crash and as Bella's nurse ran into her room, I could hear her massive sobs and tears surrounding me. I wrapped my arms around myself and struggled to step onto the elevator and away from her forever.

I sprinted off of the elevator and ran to my car in the parking lot, desperate to get away from the hospital. If I ever came here again, it would certainly be way too soon. The moment I got into the car, I turned on the radio as loud as I could, hoping to drown out my screams of frustration as I grabbed onto my steering wheel and began rocking my body back and forth in fury. I couldn't help the fact that I felt like my relationship with Bella… my love for Bella… had been nothing but a coldhearted fucking game for her. I was on that damned list and she just wanted to know if she could scratch me off. Well fuck her. I spent weeks fretting over losing her, and now I felt oddly relieved that everything was out in the open and I knew how she really felt.

I slammed my foot down on the gas and made my way out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell as I maneuvered around the streets of Port Angeles before getting on the highway back to Forks. The more I thought about the entire situation, the more my eyes filled with tears. It got so hard to drive at certain points that I had to pull off the side of the road and compose myself before I could continue.

As I pulled into the Forks town limits, I resigned myself to three things. One; Bella and I were simply not meant to be and I was right to have kept her at arm's length for so long. Two; I was an idiot for not going to her sooner, but at least I was able to determine her true intentions with me. Three, I had to get the fuck out of Forks as soon as possible.

The moment I got home, frantically driving through the streets in a mad rush to get there, I ran up to my room and searched through my papers desperately. The moment I found the thing I was looking for I filled it out as requested and ran back outside, passing my mother as I ran out the front door.

"Edward, why aren't you in school?" she called out as I ignored her and hopped back into my car. I was a man on a mission and no one, not even my loving mother was keeping me from my destination. I glanced down at my clock and realized I didn't have too long until they closed, so I went as fast I could out of the driveway.

I felt an odd calm wash over me as I reached my destination with my envelope clutched firmly in my hand. When I walked into the post office, the woman behind the counter gave me a curious look, probably because I felt like shit, which meant I no doubt looked like shit.

"Aren't you Dr. Cullen's son?" she asked gently as I nodded my head and passed her the envelope, waiting for her to tell me how much it cost to ship. "Oh good for you… you are applying to Dartmouth huh? That's pretty far away though," she added as I looked at her name tag and noticed it read 'Doris'.

"Actually Doris, I already got in. This is me sending back my acceptance letter," I said with an empty grin as she smiled back at me and accepted my five dollar bill in exchange for the postage I needed. "I'm looking forward to getting out of this sleepy little town," I said as she handed me my change and placed the envelope with the rest of the outgoing mail.

When I walked out of the building, I stood on the front step which looked out over the main street of our small town, and I felt vacant. I watched cars drive by and classmates head into the diner and I realized that Dartmouth wasn't far enough away to run from my past, but it was a good start.


	26. My Dartmouth

**A/N: So I didn't reach my goal of beating the reviews, so even though I have been sitting on this chapter for like three days, I decided to just give up the ghost and post it. You folks have been more than gracious in your reviews even though I have made several dozen of you cry, throw things and downright hate me for tearing our favorite two some apart. **

**If you didn't already know, I have a blog: coldplaywhore . blogspot . com (remove the spaces, folks) and I plan to post a teaser for Chapter 27 there tomorrow. So follow me… comment… all that fun shit. I tease for all my stories there.**

**Thanks to the usual crew, Tilly Whitlock, Kiki Enigma, MaggieMay14, Risbee, Beegurl13 and even you flightlessbird11 who is still on wussperv duty, so you have been forewarned. You may need tissues or rotten fruit to throw at me. I like bananas. (See… there's a penis euphemism. I love me a good penis euphemism.)**

**I don't own Twilight, I do now have a garbage can lid I use a shield to keep some of you at bay.**

**EPOV**

"Edward, are you going to MacDougall's lab this afternoon?" called the voice of my exasperating sort of roommate, Victoria. I had agreed to let my friend and former classmate James move in to my rental house near campus in early September, but had I known at the time that along with him came Victoria, I never would have considered it.

"Of course I'm going Victoria," I replied loudly and somewhat snidely as I walked down the hallway and into my bedroom, closing the door firmly behind me. Victoria was one of the most annoying and overachieving people in my entire year, and what made matters worse was the fact that she wanted to go into medicine as well; so she was ten times more competitive with me. Of course it made our situation infinitely worse that during my first few weeks at Dartmouth, over three years ago, she had tried to start something with me, flirting constantly and whispering obscene things in my ear during a lecture, but I wasn't interested. Thankfully, she was quick to move on and ended up dating James during our second year and the rest, as they say, is history.

I still had almost three hours until the scheduled lab was due to begin, so when I stepped into my room, I grabbed my sneakers and undressed from my signature Dartmouth sweats that I wore like a badge of honor, to put on a pair of loose fitting shorts and a t-shirt, so that I could go for a run. When I crossed the front hallway, adjusting my earphones as my iPod rested on my arm band, Victoria looked at me with complete surprise.

"You're going to be late for class you know," she stated rudely as she held a tape recorder in front of her mouth and had her finger down on the pause button. Whenever she studied she liked to take verbal notes so that she could listen to them later or in her sleep, which made me laugh out loud the first time she told me this. If there was one person who loved to hear herself talk, it was Victoria Townsend. "Every time you go out for a run, you come back like an hour later than you mean to."

"You'd think that you'd be encouraging this madness Victoria. After all, if I was out of the way, wouldn't you have a clear shot to that summer internship?" I questioned haughtily as Victoria rolled her eyes and mumbled something under her breath about me being a 'conceited asshole'. "That's what I thought. Now stay out of my business and I will stay out of yours."

With that, I took off out the front door and down the steps of our small two bedroom house, enjoying the slightly cool New Hampshire air on my skin as I began running down the street and towards a nearby park, which had running trails throughout the dense woods that surrounded it. In the past few years, since I got to Dartmouth, running had become a passion of mine. It helped me to take my mind off of everything, and I had to admit the running trails through the park reminded me a bit of Forks, with their thick dark brush and oversized pine trees.

Life in New Hampshire had been a difficult adjustment at first, but three years later, life was finally comfortable for me.

After graduation, I ended up taking a road trip out here with my father to get settled and get my mind in the right frame of mind. Before he left, he told me that his car was staying with me and he was flying home, my mother convincing him to buy a new car for them and making life easy for me in Hanover now that I had my own car to get around. I had sold my Volvo for a few grand before I left, wanting the money more than the rusty old car that was filled with memories of my past.

My parents and I had grown apart a little bit in months leading up to my move out east. My mother hadn't approved of the way things between Bella and I had ended, and she continued to be friends with her and support her through everything, but never told me any of the details. I had wanted it that way. They claimed they understood my position, but I knew they were both disappointed in me. I saw it every time they looked at me, clear as day, the sadness and frustration caused by their only child.

The last few months I spent in Forks, I had basically been a secluded version of my former self. I went to school, I studied and often times Jasper or Emmett would come over, but not for very long. After all, they had girlfriends and lives to lead whereas I was basically just biding my time until I moved away for college. I ended up in Hanover in early July and quickly found an apartment and a full time job for the summer, working for the Parks and Recreation department in town. I ended up making several good friends, but when my first semester started up, I was completely overwhelmed with the work load and I went back to being secluded from everyone, since school was my primary focus.

James was actually the first real friend I made at school because it turned out we both had several classes together. They were usually big lectures filled with a hundred other students, but after a while you tend to notice the same students appearing over and over again in the same seats, so one day after class we went out for coffee and that was it. I had a new friend. James was from Akron, Ohio and was used to being the big shit on campus, so coming here was a major change for him. We both went through a period of adjustment, finding it hard to find a balance between classes, parties, drinking and girls. Well the girls were more for James and the drinking for me.

"_Dude, you are in my human biology class with Professor Witters right?" questioned a rather lanky looking blonde kid who couldn't have been much older than me, asked on a Monday morning. He was wearing a pair of faded blue jeans and a t-shirt that said 'I'm not a geek! I'm a level 12 Paladin', which had made me laugh the first time I had seen him wear it a little over a week ago. I had seen him around in various classes and lectures of the past few weeks, but had thought nothing of him until he walked up to me outside of the Gilman lecture hall, as we waited for our next class. "You aren't like a mute are you?" he asked again, with a rather rude wave of his fingers._

"_No, I'm not a mute," I snapped angrily. I already had a shitty morning because I had received a phone call from my mother letting me know that Bella had gotten out of the hospital the day before. I pretended to shrug it off, acting like I didn't really care, but in actuality I was really happy for her. Of course I would never tell anyone that. In fact, it was very rare that my mother talked about her, figuring that it was probably best for my emotional state if we didn't discuss it, but I knew they were still close and that my mother went to visit her whenever she could. I shook my head from the thoughts of my past and tried to focus on the present. "Yeah we have human bio together. I think we also have microbiology together too._

"_Cool. Now I have someone to cheat off of. I'm James. James Bond," he said with a welcome laugh and I couldn't help but smile. This guy certainly knew how to break the ice with a complete stranger and I felt at ease in his presence. He would probably be able to go far in politics or something of the like, I laughed to myself._

"_Well James Bond. I'm Edward Cullen. Bond isn't really your last name is it? If so, that is just mean. It's like your last name being Newton and you call your son Dwayne." I questioned as James shrugged his shoulders and then let out a loud laugh when he realized the absurdity of my comment._

"_Dwayne Newton? Shit, that's classic," James said with a genuine smile that actually reminded me a bit of Emmett, minus the crater sized dimples that Emmett rocked.. "Actually it's Bondstein, but I don't exactly look like your stereotypical Jewish kid do I? There's no Jew fro, I'm not a particularly big fan of matzo and to be honest… who the fuck likes kugel?"_

"_What the hell is kugel?"_

"_It's like… fuck its gross. Perhaps it's just my mother's that is disgusting, but it's kinda like pasta, with raisins and cinnamon. It's like half Italian, half Jew. Steer clear my friend, steer clear."_

After that initial exchange, we quickly became inseparable and when James changed his major half way through his second year, much to the disappointment of his mother Laura, who took great pride in letting the people of Akron know that her son James was studying to be a doctor, we hung out as much as we could even though we didn't have classes together anymore. So when he asked to move in, it was a no brainer for me because I needed a roommate to split the cost of rent and I wanted my friend to hang out with, until Victoria started making more frequent appearances and one weekend while I was locked in the library, I came home to find most of her shit in James' room. We had a small confrontation about it, but when she offered to pay her portion of the rent and said she would be quiet most of the time, I relented.

Fuck, was she wrong about being quiet. The girl was on my case so often it was like living with my mother again, but worse, because at night whenever I was trying to sleep I got the pure joy of listening to her and James have sex and this completely supported my theory that she was never quiet. Even during sex the girl was like a fucking hyena on crack and I was glad I never hooked up with her back in first year.

I turned the corner as I ran down Maple Street towards my favorite park and was welcomed by a big gust of cold air. It was early April and we were on the verge of starting exams, so running was the best thing I could to do clear my mind and prepare myself for the upcoming marathon study sessions. As I got going again, I passed a woman walking her small white fur ball of a dog, who reminded me a lot of Mrs. Jameson, my high school health teacher. Well, without the blatant sexuality and crass mouth, of course. I slowed to a jog and for a moment fondly recalled the health class that had really been the catalyst for my relationship with Bella.

When I thought about Bella now, I didn't get angry like I used to, I was beyond that now. I had yet to have a serious relationship since I arrived at college, choosing to have protected sex instead with a few random girls during drunken nights at various parties. None of the encounters ended up being even remotely fulfilling for me and usually ended with me cursing myself for having no willpower the next day.

James liked to point out that I never once had a brunette, wondering if I had some sort of aversion to them, but I just laughed off it off, claiming I didn't notice, but of course to me it was just another reminder of Bella, and I tried to avoid all reminders of hr during the first few years in New Hampshire.

There had been Tanya the rather busty blonde who called me constantly for almost a month afterwards, clearly not getting the point of a one night stand. Charlotte had been the red head from Boston who still had a hint of an Irish accent even though it had been years since she moved from Ireland with her parents and my favorite and most regular 'friend with benefits' had been Heidi. She was a tiny thing, no bigger than Alice, with blonde hair that she always kept back in a ponytail. She had no aversion to our situation and knew exactly what I needed and wanted, never once asking for more. It only helped matters that she used to be a gymnast and was extremely flexible during our frequent sexual escapades.

"_Hi," she said breathily into my ear as I accepted a red Solo cup of beer from James at a party held by some of his new classmates during our second year. James was now a political science major and was flourishing in his new classes. It didn't hurt matters that some of his classmates were really cute. _

"_Hey," I replied, trying to sound cool, bust most likely failing miserably. "I'm Edward."_

"_Heidi. I don't think I've ever seen you at one of these poly-sci parties before, I would have remembered," she stated as she looked at me through her long dark eye lashes and I tried to give her the once over as covertly as possible. Long blonde hair, small lithe body, decent sized breasts. She would do, I thought to myself with a small smirk._

"_I'm here with a friend actually. I'm pre-med," I replied as Heidi's eyes lit up for a moment. Oh god, please don't tell me she is anything like Tanya and is simply at Dartmouth to land herself a doctor or politician for a husband._

"_Pre-med, that's impressive. Are you leaning towards a specific specialty?" she asked coolly and I was caught off guard that she seemed to know anything at all about medicine. "I see that look in your eye, but I promise I'm not a stalker or anything. My dad is an ob/gyn back in California, so I know a thing or two about medicine."_

_So began my first interactions with Heidi. We ended up back at my small apartment that night, having the most awkward sex of my life, even more so than I had with Bella our first time. However the things this girl could do with her mouth superseded the fact that I had trouble getting it up initially, until my mind began to recall images of Bella during our own sexual encounters. The way my name fell from her lips, how perky her nipples were before I even touched them and the way her back arched as she came. I felt like shit for needing thoughts of another girl to finish the job, but Heidi got hers, so she didn't seem to care. The following morning, Heidi was quick to reassure me that she wasn't looking for anything serious once I told her I didn't do relationships._

"_You've had your heart broken huh?"_

"_You could say that," I replied caustically as she gave me as tentative smile and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "I'd rather not discuss it though."_

"_Just so you know, you're not alone. I came here specifically to get away from someone who is still back home. I mean, you can't get any farther from California than New Hampshire right?" she laughed genuinely and I kissed her temple lightly._

"_I'm from a small town outside of Seattle. If Florida had more Ivy League schools I probably would have gone there to distance myself further from my past."_

"_Did you go home in the summer?" she questioned as I shook my head in the negative and she climbed out of my bed and began to get dressed. "Me neither. I couldn't do it. He's with someone else now and I just couldn't… It's hard you know? Shit, of course you know."_

_I watched with rapt attention as Heidi finished dressing and then found a scrap piece of paper on my desk and wrote on it before handing it back to me. "Thanks," I mumbled honestly as she smiled from ear to ear before releasing my hand and the paper._

"_Call me if you ever need to talk or want a repeat performance. Once you get your mind off of back home, you'll feel ten times better. Plus, I never got to show you all my moves, handsome." I nodded my head and easily accepted a small kiss from her before she made her way out the door. _

I never once thought when I brought Heidi home that I would find a fuck buddy and a confidant, but that was exactly what she became to me. It was actually refreshing to sit down and discuss my failed relationship with Bella and the strained situation with my parents, but she encouraged it and opened up to me about her own issues in the process.

A few times a month we would go out for dinner, talk about everything under the sun and nothing was considered taboo. I told her in great detail about Bella's relapse into leukemia and my reaction, for which she smacked me upside the head and may have punched me in the arm a few times. She was understanding of the situation, even if she thought I went about everything the wrong way and was a complete jerk. In hindsight I knew this, but it was too late now to do anything about it. Usually once dinner was over; we would go back to one of our apartments and have crazy no holds barred sex. It was primal, needy, and I learned things from Heidi that I didn't even know you could do, but it wasn't what I wanted. It was just a means to an end; a way to prevent me from getting carpal tunnel and fucking up my future as a doctor.

I picked up the pace as I crossed School Street and made my way into Pine Knolls Park, my feet moving as fast as they could as I made my way over to the wooded trail. The familiar noises in the forest and the sound of branches and leaves crunching beneath my feet were most welcome as 'Remember the Name' by Fort Minor came through my ear phones, bringing new energy to my run. I had stopped listening to anything remotely close to country music the moment I had left Forks and I had to admit it was thrilling to leave all traces of my former life behind me. Sure, I made it home for Christmas and for a week during the summer, but during that time it was rare that I left my parents house, choosing to spend time with them instead of anyone else. I was also scared to cross Bella's path, even though my mother assured me that it was probably unlikely, I wasn't taking any chances.

Every now and then I would hear from Emmett or Jasper, but it was usually via email or text. We had grown distant in the few months before I left Forks, so it was understandable that our lack of communication would continue after I left for college. Jasper has decided to stick around and attend Olympic College in Seattle to work towards his associates' degree in fire service, deciding he wanted to be a firefighter. Emmett had left for California to go to USC with Rosalie, but that was all I knew about the girls. I knew Jasper was still with Alice, but we rarely discussed them, because that would invariably bring us back to conversations about Bella and her remission, and I didn't want to discuss it or her for that matter. Out of sight out of mind, or at least that was what I kept telling myself.

As I reached the edge of the forest and was about to turn back and head home with enough time for a shower before I headed off to MacDougall's lecture, I was surprised to hear a small whimpering voice in the distance. I ran closer to the sound and was surprised to find a twenty something year old woman crouched on the ground, her hand clutching her ankle tightly.

"Are you alright?" I asked as I slowed to a walk and tentatively made my way closer to her. She looked up, her eyes red from her tears and I had to admit, she was cute. She had long brown hair and big brown eyes, and her body was in shape, probably from running constantly, but I had never seen her around here before. "Is it your ankle?"

"Ding ding ding, give the man a prize," she replied sarcastically as I rolled my eyes in response and knelt down beside her.

"Have you called someone?" I asked nervously. I had no idea why the hell I wanted to help this girl, but I did. I reached for my cell phone, but she quickly swatted it away when I offered it to her.

"Yeah, I called my sister Maggie. I'm sure she will be here any second, so feel free to leave. I'm not exactly in the mood to be attacked or killed today by a complete stranger," she said with a tentative laugh as her eyes lit up and she reminded me a bit of Bella.

"I'm Edward Cullen," I replied stoically as I extended a hand and she took it without delay. "There, now we're not strangers…"

"Siobhan. I'm Siobhan O'Brien," she answered simply as she used the palm of her hands to wipe away her left over tears from her eyes and cheeks. I lifted my hands up in defeat and when she nodded her head in agreement I moved them down to cup her ankle and see if I could tell what was wrong.

"I hope Maggie is planning to take you to the hospital because it looks like you have a broken ankle," I explained to her as she quirked her eye brow at me in suspicion. "I watch a lot of TLC," I said with a shrug of my shoulders as her soulful brown eyes grew wider. "I'm kidding. I'm pre-med over at Dartmouth."

"Well that's better than you telling me you are a mechanical engineering student I suppose," she laughed as a red Ford Focus pulled up on the edge of the nearby road and a tall redhead ran from the car at breakneck speed. "That would be Maggie."

"What the hell did you do this time?" cursed Maggie as she stopped in front of us, completely out of breath and looked from her sister over to me. "Oh and who is this?"

"I'm Edward. I just happened to find your sister during my run. I think she has a broken ankle and should be taken to the emergency room," I stated as Maggie's eyes practically bore a hole into mine, since she was staring at me so intensely. "Do you want my help getting her into your car?"

"What? Huh? Oh yes… my car," stammered Maggie as Siobhan rolled her eyes at her sisters' confused attitude as I stood up and offered Siobhan my hand to help her up from the ground. When she was standing, I wrapped my arms under her legs and pulled her up in my arms before I began carrying her towards the small car. Maggie ran ahead of us and opened the passenger door and when I sat Siobhan down in the seat, I couldn't help the deep breath I took, inhaling her scent, which was like sunshine and tangerines. "Thanks for all your help Edward."

"You're more than welcome ladies. Stay off that ankle Siobhan and get to the hospital," I instructed her as she gave me a tentative wave and Maggie got in the car. I waited until they pulled away from the curb before I continued my run back to the house, desperately needing to make up time if I was going to make it for MacDougall's lecture.

Two weeks later, while I was on a mid afternoon run, I got to the edge of the forest trail again and was about to turn around and head home when I noticed a familiar figure sitting on a nearby bench. She waved me over and when I got there, I was surprised to see Siobhan sitting there, crutches on her left side and a big cast wrapped around her foot. "Hey," she said sweetly as I walked towards her and looked down, assessing her cast for a moment before looking up at her face. She was smiling with a hopeful inflection that I hadn't seen on woman's face in a long time. "You were right. It was a broken ankle."

"I was right? Can you call my mother and let her know that, she thinks I am never right," I said with a nervous laugh as I suddenly began to wonder what the hell she was doing here. There was no way she just wanted to sit on a park bench in the middle of the afternoon right?

"Gladly," she said with an anxious laugh as I took a seat beside her on the bench and draped my arm over the back as I took a second to catch my breath. "Umm… I came here hoping to see you and thank you for helping me a few weeks ago."

"There's no need to thank me, really. All I did was stay with you until your sister arrived. Any concerned citizen would have done the same," I stated genuinely as she nodded her head slowly in agreement. I looked down and watched as she twirled her fingers together, a clear sign that she was nervous about something. "Ok… what else is up?"

"?" she mumbled quickly and incoherently. I quirked my eye brows at her as she covered her mouth with her hand. "I'm sorry, when I get nervous my brain stops functioning like the grad student I am."

"What makes you nervous?"

"You do."

"I do?" I asked, unable to hide the surprise in my voice. She was a graduate student, which meant she was at least two, possibly three years older than I was. How the hell was it that I made her nervous? If anything, it should have been the other way around. "Just go slow and say what it is you want to say."

"Would you like to have dinner with me this weekend?" she queried again, this time though I was able to understand every word she said and my heart ached. She looked so hopeful and excited at the prospect of me saying yes, but I knew even if I did go, nothing would come of it. I wasn't boyfriend material for anyone, that ship had long since passed for me and I wasn't looking for a repeat performance of that fuckery, so I had been keeping my distance from everyone romantically. Heidi was the girl I was closest too and that was simply because she was a great lay and could keep up a conversation with the best of them. However, as I looked over at a smiling Siobhan, I knew I couldn't hurt her.

"I'll go, if we go as friends."

"Friends is perfect. We can even split the bill if you want," she stated, her voice cracking slightly because I knew she was lying and dissapointed. She wanted more than friends. They all did, with the exception of Heidi. "How about we meet over at The Fire Hall on Saturday night, say around seven?"

"Are you sure you don't want me to pick you up?" I asked as I pointed to her cast and she simply laughed it off.

"No, I'm good. So I'll see you then?" I nodded my head and Siobhan gave me a small hug before I helped her up and she grabbed her crutches, making her way across the small park area to the Ford Focus that was parked there. I watched her until she drove away before I turned my iPod back on, Kayne West's 'Homecoming' hitting me like a ton of bricks as I began running back to my house to prepare for my afternoon exam.

Dinner with Siobhan on Saturday had been surprisingly fun. Once I got past her nervous exterior, she ended up being a really great girl who was currently doing her Masters in comparative literature. We talked for ages about her workload and how difficult life was going to be for me once I started medical school and she was very understanding. I was very honest with her throughout dinner and told her I had my heart broken and was not really looking for a relationship, but she was very persistent, insisting that we could meet again for coffee the next weekend and simply take it one step at a time.

I didn't think I did anything to get her hopes up, but as the end of May approached and Siobhan and I were on our fifth weekend 'date', which was a morning coffee date, when she broached the topic of us dating again. "Edward, don't you see that this is what we are doing already?" she questioned as I rubbed at my temples anxiously. She was a great girl and even though I enjoyed spending time with her, I felt like shit, like I had been leading her on and having her think that there was more potential with me than there really was. "Think about it Edward, we do everything a normal couple does, with the exception of the kissing and sex."

I shook my head for a moment, trying to think of the best thing to say. The song on the overhead speakers at the Coffee Pot, one of our usual haunts, changed to 'Then' by Brad Paisley and I clenched my hands tightly in anger as I recalled happier moments with Bella. Even if she claimed she didn't love me, I knew I had been in love with her, I probably still was in some way, but she didn't have the hold on my heart that she once did.

When I looked across the table at Siobhan I realized I was a heartless bastard and she was completely innocent in the situation. I had insisted that we hang out only as friends, but every week we got closer, so it was understandable that she wanted more from me. However, no matter how much I liked her, I couldn't do it. "I don't think…" I began to say as my phone started to vibrate uncontrollably on the table beside me. I knew I would ignore my phone because Siobhan and I needed to have this talk, but as I looked at the call display, I held one hand up to Siobhan, because I knew I had to answer it.

"Dad?" I questioned somberly as there was silence on the other end of the phone.

"Edward. I need you to come home. There's been an accident," he stated as I rubbed at my temple and my eyes darted up to Siobhan who looked completely confused. "It's your mom."

**A/N: Yes, I am a heartless bitch and I did leave it there, but on a positive note, I have the next chapter in my inbox from my beta all ready for me to review. So… who's pissed it's been three years? Yes I did plan that time jump from the beginning, so have a little faith and leave a little review.**


	27. My Bleeding Heart

**A/N: Blame fail for this chapter not being up sooner. It's been ready, I swear. Now who wants to find out what Bella has been up to for those past three years?**

**Thanks to the usual suspects, Beegurl13 (who helps me ramp up the angst), TillyWhitlock, KikiEngima, Risbee and my awesome beta MaggieMay14. In case you are wondering, Flightlessbird11 is still on wussperv hiatus, as she is waiting till they get back together. I'm trying to smack some sense into her, but she's not listening. **

**I don't own Twilight, just a lot of batteries.**

**BPOV **

Not long after Edward and I officially broke up, Esme strolled into my room one Friday afternoon while I was resting after a particularly brutal session of chemotherapy. "You're looking good hon," she said sweetly as she kissed my forehead and ran her hand kindly down my wig that had arrived the Friday after the fight between Edward and I. Alice helped me shave my head the next day and I had been wearing the wig ever since.

"Nice try Esme," I said with a tentative smile as she lifted up a gift bag and put it on my small table in front of me. "I hope there's a big jar of arsenic in there with a bow on it because right about now I'd like to be put out of my misery."

"Ever the optimistic and sarcastic girl," laughed Esme as she sat down in the chair beside me and took my small hand in hers. "Actually, it's just a little gift. Consider it an 'end of your third cycle of treatment gift'" she said with a gentle smile as I opened the bag and found a leather bound journal inside. I ran my fingers reverently over the cover that was engraved with my initials 'IMS' in a beautiful script.

"Thanks," I muttered as tears fell from my face slowly and she was quick to push them away with her soft fingers.

"It's a journal. I know you have a lot of things running through your mind and you might feel like you can't trust anyone, but I wanted you to have something to write down all your thoughts in. I hear it's great for people going through chemo to write in before, during and after their sessions," she explained as I gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "There's also a fancy pen in there."

"This really does mean the world to me Esme, thank you so much," I said as I extended my arms out and she stood up, giving me a small half hug and a kiss against my temple. We spent the next half hour talking about various topics, including what I was going to do with myself when I finally got out of the hospital, but I could tell something else was up. So before Esme left that day, I finally got it out of her.

"You know that even with Edward and I not dating, we were friends before you were my ex-boyfriends mom, so you can tell me what is going on," I admitted as she buried her face in her hands, lifting them up as I noticed her eyes were red from tears.

"He sent in his acceptance for Dartmouth," she said quietly as a small gasp left my mouth. I was actually nostalgic for the times when Edward and I faced college apart as our biggest challenge. "I really thought I raised him better Bella. I thought he would go to UW and do his best to reconcile with you, but he's resigned and rather excited about leaving."

I reached my hand forward and slowly smoothed her bangs to the side of her face tenderly. Even now, after everything I had been through, I still wished I had a mother more like her. "Edward always planned to move away for college. Why do you think he applied to schools that were mainly on the east coast? I threw a wrench in his plans and I knew he was conflicted between staying here and going away. Lord knows I knew there was no way I was getting into the prestigious schools that he would. He talked about us being in a long distance relationship, but I honestly didn't think it was logical," I admitted remorsefully as Esme looked at me with shock in her deep blue eyes. I always found it interesting that she and Carlisle both had blue eyes but Edward was graced with the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen.

"I raised my son better than to abandon you or cheat on you," she stated as I nodded my head in agreement.

"I agree. He was a very loyal and loving boy before I got sick, but college is supposed to be a time to spread your wings and find out the person who you are truly meant to be. I wanted him to enjoy himself. Hell, after everything, I still want him to enjoy himself. You should focus on the fact that your only son got into such a wonderful school and will make something of himself one day," I explained as my heart ached a bit at the words as I spoke them. Even though things between Edward and I were beyond repair, I still wished the world for him. I wanted him to be happy.

"Like I've always said, you are a much stronger woman than I am Bella," stated Esme as she gave me another gentle kiss before making her way towards the door. "Use that journal and get healthy. There are a lot of people around here who want to see you make something of yourself one day soon. I'll be back to see you in a few days."

"Thanks Esme," I said quietly as I fought back the tears that were threatening to form and watched as she walked away. I grabbed the journal and opened it to the first page. I wrote down the items from my 'list', remembering every last item that I wanted to do but I added two more things at the very bottom: be happy and beat leukemia.

~*~*~

June 23, 2010

Today was graduation day down at Forks High School and I would not be participating with the rest of my classmates. I had spent the past twelve years of my life with these people, going through the mundane routines and learning the exact same stuff as them, but I was stuck in my hospital bed after suffering through an infection which was hindering my progress. Dr. Winston said my white blood cell count was low and since white blood cells were responsible for keeping the body from infections, I was easily susceptible. The fever, cough and sore I got inside my mouth were proof that things were on shaky ground. I was given drugs that increased my white blood cell count and although he had faith about my recovery, the fact that I was still in the hospital after five months was a major disappointment to me. I could only hope that things would take a turn for the better soon.

Jacob came over earlier in the morning and I talked to him about my fears, which was usually what we discussed these days. I was leaning on him more often than I did Alice or Rosalie, trying to prepare myself for the fact that the girls would be heading off to UW and USC in August, respectively. No matter how hard I pushed them away, they always came back for more. Jacob was planning to take an apprenticeship at a local garage and take night and weekend classes to become a mechanic. He finally got his old VW Rabbit working and was excited about me going for a ride in it one day. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I wasn't expecting that day to come anytime soon. He was so hopeful over my progress that I didn't have to heart to tell him about my infection.

August 18, 2010

Rosalie was here today to say goodbye. She brought Emmett with her and we spent over an hour talking about absolutely nothing, but it was nice. They were leaving the next day to move down to California, Emmett and his dad driving a U-Haul Van, while Rosalie drove with his Mom in her gigantic pickup truck. Rosalie's parents were going through a sticky divorce since it was discovered that his father had been having sex for the past two years with Mrs. Jameson, my old health teacher. Rosalie was livid, but was enjoying the fact that he was showering her with gifts and money to buy her forgiveness. The first gift was a condo he bought near campus for her and Emmett to live in together. For a moment I was envious of her, to be with Emmett all the time, but then he reminded us how big of a slob he was and I wished her luck instead.

Charlie has been a lifesaver during the past few weeks, but so had Sue Clearwater. Earlier in the year Sue's husband Harry, who was another fishing buddy of Charlie's, passed away due to lung cancer. In an effort to move on and help others in the same situation as Harry was, Sue began volunteering at PAGH and spending time helping out cancer patients, including yours truly. She and Charlie seemed to strike up an odd sort of friendship that now seemed to be evolving into more and I was so excited for him. I wanted Charlie to be happy and she seemed to be doing that for him.

Sue had two kids, Seth who was twelve and Leah who was eighteen and going to college in Port Angeles to become a daycare teacher. I met them once earlier in the summer when they came to the hospital to visit me with Sue. I had encouraged Jacob to ask Leah out because she seemed exactly like his type and they were friends from the reservation, but he refused. During all our time together Jacob actually never even mentioned having an interest in any girls from the rez or elsewhere, so I tried to persuade him, to no avail. He was stubborn as hell sometimes.

September 13, 2010

People say that thirteen isn't a lucky number, but today it was certainly lucky for me. I was finally released from the hospital with the blessing of Dr. Winston and Dr. Cullen. Of course, Dr. Winston was quick to inform me that although they believed that my cancer was in remission and things were looking well, I still had to take things slowly. My body was feeling better and my hair was growing back in, but I kept my wig on for the time being until I looked a little bit better.

It was a Sunday afternoon and Charlie and Jacob were at the hospital with me when we got word and I literally wanted to jump out of my bed in excitement. Dr. Winston reminded me that it was still a long process until I was feeling one hundred percent better, but I was just excited to finally be leaving the dull pale green walls of the hospital behind.

Charlie escorted me down to the front door in the wheelchair they forced me to use as Jacob piled all of my stuff into the back of the cruiser. I then begged my father to let me ride back to our house with Jacob in his Rabbit, and Charlie was quick to relent, eager to make me happy. When I got home, I was shocked to see Alice and Jasper in my living room, having heard from Charlie the night before that I was getting discharged and planned an impromptu party for me. I literally squealed with excitement when I saw Scrappy and how big he had gotten. In the past nine months, he had turned from my precocious little puppy into a huge, happy mutt. I noticed that one of Charlie's old kitchen chairs was missing and when I mentioned it, Charlie just shrugged his shoulders and blamed Scrappy. Carlisle and Esme showed up a little bit later along with Sue, Leah and Seth. We ate Pizza, chatted happily about the baseball playoffs and everything seemed normal. I loved normal.

January 5, 2011

Esme and I met for lunch today in Port Angeles and finally exchanged Christmas presents. We had grown closer over the past few months now that I was out of the hospital, but since Edward had been home for the holidays, but I chose to stay away in an effort to make things easier for all of us. Even during our lunch we didn't talk about him, other than her casually mentioning that he went back to Dartmouth before New Years.

Instead, Esme and I discussed my mission to finally graduate from high school. Since I was only short a semester of classes, I would be a student at Forks High again in a few days, taking almost exactly the same schedule as I had the year before, minus the leukemia. I was dreading going back because it wasn't going to be the same school I would remember. The students would all be younger than me, I wouldn't have my usual group of friend to support me and pal around with and I was also worried about the reactions from the teachers who all knew I spent the last year battling cancer. Would they treat me the same?

Thankfully Esme talked me through all my concerns and reminded me of my goal to be happy. I would never be happy unless I graduated from high school and I could never truly move on unless I headed off to college. Money would be tight, especially now that I had overwhelming debt from the medical bills, but we would make ends meet. I had faith.

May 20, 2011

All night I felt out of place, as though I wasn't supposed to be there, but Jacob did his best to reassure me. When I had mentioned to him about Forks High's upcoming prom a few weeks prior, I was shocked when he insisted we go… together. I was on the fence for the longest time, until he recruited Leah and Sue in his mission. Before I could say no, I was in Port Angeles with them shopping for a dress.

I ended up in a simple cream colored goddess style dress and the world's most uncomfortable shoes, but the night wasn't all that bad, unless you count the moment that Jacob tried to kiss me when he dropped me off at the door that night. I hated that I had to remind him, yet again, that we were just friends, only to have him repeat to me that Edward wasn't coming back for me. I was quick to say good night to Jacob after that, not eager start a fight with him. I wasn't waiting for Edward. I just didn't want Jacob like that.

September 8, 2011

Today was my first day at Peninsula College in Port Angeles. I worked all summer helping out at the library and saving every single penny for my tuition as I watched Charlie struggle with my medical bills, claiming everything was fine, although I knew it wasn't. There had been a small fundraiser at the High School, run by Esme and some of the teachers, but the few thousand bucks we raised made only a small dent in our bills.

When I got to the campus, all bright eyed and bushy tailed for my first nursing classes, I was surprised to see Jacob. We had been a bit distant since he had taken me to my senior prom, and I had completely forgotten that he was in his second year of the automotive technology course. He had started in night classes, but ended up enrolling full time when he managed to save enough money. We chatted normally and he invited me out for coffee after class, but I informed him I had to get back to Forks since my last class ended at five and I wanted to make Charlie dinner. We made plans to get together that weekend though.

December 25, 2011

Today I spent Christmas down in La Push with Charlie, Sue, Leah, Seth, Billy and even Jacob was there. It was nice, simple and very comfortable to me, and I spent most of the time curled up with Scrappy, scratching his ears lightly. He really was like my best friend, which was kind of sad. Although Leah and I were practically like sisters these days we spent so much time together, so I was surprised when she found me in the kitchen and asked me about my relationship with Jacob.

Although Leah wasn't interested in him for herself, she couldn't help but notice the way Jacob had been staring at me. I tried to reassure her that Jacob and I were just friends, but she wasn't sure he felt the same way. She even accused me of being blind to the feelings Jacob had for me. I brushed her off and went back into the living room of Sue's house and my mind was in overdrive about how Jacob really felt about me.

Before Charlie and I could leave, Jacob gave me a small handmade dream catcher for my Christmas gift and kissed me gently on the cheek. When I looked back at the house, Leah was at the front window mouthing 'I told you so.' I don't know what to do about Jacob anymore.

May 10, 2012

Home sick from school today and Jacob came over, completely freaked out that he didn't see me on campus. I reassured him that everything was fine, I had seen Dr. Cullen earlier in the morning and he thought I just had a cold and then went back to sleep.

June 20, 2012

Jacob asked me out today and I felt like shit for turning him down. I was nice about it, but how do you break the heart of the one person who has been there for you through everything?

October 31, 2012

I went to a party with Jacob, Leah and a few other friends from college for Halloween. Jacob was dressed as an Indian and I went as a pregnant nun; I was lacking creativity. I felt bad when I overheard Jacob tell some girl named Claire that he was flattered she had asked him out, but that he was waiting for someone else. I knew I was that someone he was talking about and that there was no way this would end well.

March 6, 2013

Charlie was admitted to Forks Hospital today because he had a tingly feeling in his arm. Dr. Cullen was concerned he was having a mild heart attack, but when we got to the hospital and they ran various tests, it turned out he just had high blood pressure. Jacob came down to the hospital with Sue & Seth and was a source of great comfort to me. He even drove Charlie and I home, making sure we had his new blood pressure meds and were settled in for the night before he left to go home.

April 1, 2013

I finally agreed to go out with Jacob today. He asked me again and I realized that even though I didn't have romantic feelings for him, perhaps if I went out with him and saw him in a different light, we could become more. I wanted more. I'm just not certain I that wanted more with Jacob, but it would be stupid of me not to see, because he has been great to me for years.

We were supposed to go out Saturday night for dinner and a movie. I'm trying not to get Jacob's expectations up, but he was literally bursting with excitement that I said yes. I had to admit, his enthusiasm is contagious.

April 6, 2013

Dinner with Jacob was nice. We went to a small Italian restaurant in Port Angeles and the entire time I was thinking about Edward. It was the same restaurant he got us take-out from on our first date, but there was no way I could tell Jacob this since he was trying to plan something memorable. Unfortunately for him, it just reminded of memories I had made with someone else, not him. We ate in the restaurant, but Jacob was clearly feeling out of place in his jacket and tie, clearly trying too hard. He was more of Burger King kinda guy than an Il Fornello kind of guy.

It was nice though. He even went to take me to see a cheesy romantic movie after dinner. When he held my hand in the theatre, I didn't pull away even though I was hesitant about it. I have told myself to keep an open mind and that is what I will do. I deserve to be happy. Jacob can make me happy if I would just let him.

~*~*~

In late May, Jacob and I were scheduled to meet up in Port Angeles with Seth and his girlfriend Molly. We had plans to double date with them since Sue was a little concerned about her sixteen year old son dating. I found her over protectiveness a bit endearing, but Seth just found it annoying. We were meeting at the King Pin diner before heading out for a rather simple round or two of bowling. It seemed like ever since I got out of the hospital two years earlier, a lot of things in my life had become simple and rather mundane. I was looking forward to Rosalie and Emmett coming home for a few weeks in the summer and making my life a little more exciting. Dinner and bowling is not what I would consider thrilling. Not even close.

As I expected, Jacob picked me up early so that we could have more time together before Seth and Molly joined us. He had moved up in the world, from his VW Rabbit to a classic 1967 Mustang that he had been lovingly restoring. I thanked god for that car because if he didn't have it, he would surely be spending more time fawning over me than he usually did.

"You look great Bells," Jacob stated as I slid into the car beside him and he gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks. Seth called and they are actually running a little bit late. Apparently Molly has to wait till her parents get home to take over looking after her younger sister," I said casually as Jacob's eyes lit up in excitement. We had only been dating for just over a month and in the same time with Edward our relationship had progressed a lot more than it had with Jacob. Everything just felt different, less rushed with Jacob and other than some kissing, we hadn't done much of anything. In fact, the last person I had sex with was Edward; over three years ago.

"Do you want to go down to La Push beach?" he asked, his eyes filled with so much hope that I felt horrible about the next few words that were about to come out of my mouth. I knew what people did at La Push beach. Hell, Edward and I had steamed up the windows of his Volvo on more than one occasion down there, but I wasn't ready to go there with Jacob.

"Let's head to King Pin, I'm pretty hungry," I said casually as Jacob let out a small huff of frustration and I simply laid my head against the window and stared outside for a moment. I had a feeling that Jacob was going to say something about the fact that our relationship was not moving forward like he wished it would, but instead he simply sighed and started heading towards Port Angeles.

Our conversation during the entire ride was a little forced as he told me about his plans for the summer. I was graduating in two weeks from my two year nursing program at college. Dr. Cullen had even graciously offered me a part-time job in his office as soon as I had graduated, until I had my nurses' license and was able to apply for full-time jobs in the area. Jacob was graduating the same day as me and had already lined up a job at the auto shop in Port Angeles where he had done his internship through the college. However, Jacob was also planning a vacation it seemed. His sister Rebecca had moved to Hawaii and had been trying to convince Jacob to visit for the longest time and he thought it would be great if we got away for a week or so. I did not however feel the same way he did.

"Jacob, vacations are things couples take after being together for several months not a few weeks. I know you are really excited about the fact that we are actually dating, but like I have said before, I want to take us slow. Vacationing in Hawaii doesn't exactly scream slow," I said nervously as I reached my hand over and patted Jacob's hand tenderly. He intertwined his fingers in mine and I did my best not to recoil from his touch when I knew it was a romantic gesture and not simply a friendly one.

"I'm trying Bella, but it's really hard for me," he said genuinely as I nodded my head in acknowledgement. "I think we are moving in a great direction and I'm willing to take things slow. I believe I have been remarkably patient, but we can go on vacation… it's not like I'm dragging you to a wedding chapel Bella. It's a few days in Hawaii in August, enjoying the sun, sand and surf." When I glanced over at Jacob, his eyes were focused on the road and his mouth was drawn into a tight line. He wasn't too pleased with the situation and I shook my head and decided to simply give up, the fight wasn't worth it.

"Washington has sun, sand and surf too," I said quietly as Jacob laughed awkwardly beside me. "Okay, so the sun is lacking a bit. How about we discuss it a little closer to the time we would need to get tickets?" I asked, hoping to placate Jacob somewhat. He squeezed my hand gently and relented somewhat, but I could tell this topic wasn't as shelved for Jacob as it was for me.

During our car ride to the diner, Seth texted me to let me know they were leaving Forks, so thankfully they wouldn't be too far behind us. Jacob I ended up ordering drinks and chatting amiably for about ten minutes before Seth and Molly finally showed up. At first I felt a bit like a chaperone since Seth was 16 years old and I was almost 22, but the easy going rapport between Seth and Jacob really made the date seem more normal than I had expected. When ended up getting two games of bowling in and were about to start our third when my cell phone buzzed in my pocket. It was my dad and he rarely, if ever, called me on my cell phone.

"Hey Dad. What's going on?" I asked, trying to sound as casual as I could. "Did Scrappy eat something he shouldn't have?" My father coughed lightly and I immediately sensed that something was up, so I moved away from our bowling lane so that I could hear him better. Jacob looked at me curiously, but I just waved his concern away as I waited for my father to speak.

"I just got a call from the station," he said coolly, as I sat down in the first chair I could find and tried to calm myself. "Apparently earlier this morning Esme Cullen was in a car accident. I had already left to go fishing with Billy and had left my cell at home, so Deputy Mark was unable to reach me."

Jesus… not Esme, I thought to myself as my breathing slowly slightly and I bent forward as I tried to catch my breath.

"She was driving to La Push to pick up Sue because they were going to that Home Show in Seattle that they had both be raving about," he stated, his words reminding me completely of the fact that the women had tried to convince me and Leah to go with them to no avail. "Esme hadn't yet gotten to La Push when her car was hit by a logging truck. The driver had been awake all night and wasn't used to seeing traffic on the road so early."

"Is she…" I began to ask as tears started to form in my eyes. I didn't know if I would be able to handle it if something happened to Esme. She had truly been my rock over the past few years and was the closest thing I had to a mother. "She's not dead is she?" I finally asked; my voice cracking as I spoke rather loudly. As if he had been listening, which he probably had been, Jacob rushed over to my side and knelt in front of me, his hands on my knees, waiting with me.

"No, she is not dead. She's apparently about to go into surgery right now. From what Mark has told me, it took them a while to get her out of the car because there was extensive damage and once they got her to Port Angeles Hospital, they had to stabilize her somewhat before they could get in to the operating room. I don't know all the specifics of her injuries though," Charlie sounded so forlorn that my heart ached for him as much as it did for me or Carlisle. We had become such great friends with the Cullen's over the past several years; this was devastating to say the least.

"I'm in Port Angeles now. I'm going to have Jacob take me to the hospital," I stated firmly as Jacob looked at me with confusion clear in his eyes. He wasn't going to approve of this completely, especially since he felt like me spending time with the Cullen's was just a way for me to hold on to my memories Edward. It frustrated me that he couldn't see how important these people were to me, regardless of the fact that their son was my ex-boyfriend. "I'll call you in a bit and let you know what I find out."

Charlie and I said a quick goodbye and before I stood up, I pulled my rental bowling shoes off and Jacob looked at me in bewilderment. "Why do we have to go to the hospital?" he questioned as he helped me stand up and I practically ran back to our bowling lane where Seth & Molly were waiting impatiently.

"Esme Cullen was in a car accident. I have to go and see her," I said as I grabbed my sneakers from under the bench and began slipping them back on. I grabbed my purse and then looked over at Jacob, who was standing there, staring at me indifferently.

"Why do you have to go and see her? She has her own family."

"She is my family," I shouted angrily as Seth just shook his head slowly, knowing how much she meant to me. "You don't get it. She stood with me through both bouts of leukemia and I will be damned if she is in a hospital bed five minutes from here and you refuse to let me see her. I'll take a cab," I said as I moved around Jacob and started heading to the main door of the bowling alley. I could hear Jacob yelling at me as I neared the door and as I stepped outside, he grabbed my arm and pulled me into a hug.

"I didn't mean it like that Bella. I understand that you love Esme, so we will go now alright?" I nodded into his chest as I began to sob both in frustration and sadness. Jacob guided me towards his car and within seconds we were out of the parking lot and heading over to the hospital. When I walked in, I immediately recognized one of the nurses at the front desk and she told me where I could find Carlisle. He was sitting in a waiting room on the second floor with his head buried in his hands when I saw him.

I practically ran over to him and hugged him gently as he attempted to tell me everything that was going on with Esme and her surgery. Apparently her doctors were most concerned about the possibility of a traumatic brain injury and were looking to relive some of the pressure on her brain as soon as they could. She also suffered from a torn spleen, several fractured ribs and a broken arm and wrist. Jacob offered to go down to the cafeteria and get us some coffee as Carlisle and I continued to talk, with me providing him as much support as I could.

It was nearing ten at night when a nurse came to advise us that they were finishing up Esme's surgery and that within the hour she was expected to be transferred back to the intensive care unit. We were all relieved, but sadly we still didn't know how well the surgery went. We wouldn't know that until her surgeon, Dr. Dolan came to speak to us. Carlisle left us to go speak to one of the nurses after we had waited for fifteen minutes and heard no information yet.

Jacob and I sat together in the waiting room, him reading an old issue of Car & Driver magazine with his arm draped over my shoulder somewhat possessively, and me staring at the clock impatiently. When I looked towards the door thinking I had heard Carlisle return, I was shocked by what greeted me instead.

Edward.

**A/N: I know… another fucking cliffy right? You guys cursing me still? At least E&B are in the same state! The next chapter is already with my beta, so think positive… it should hopefully be posted this weekend. So during the great fail of January 2010 I caught up on the story 'High Anxiety' by Edward's Blood Type. Are you guys reading this one? If not, get one it. I wouldn't generally recommend a story with so many reviews, but when I found out how many people weren't reading 'The Screamers' by Kiya Raven after I rec'd it, I decided to throw this one out there. Blame Risbee and Beegurl13 for this one. They made me read it. Held a gun to my head and everything. It was excellent though! So go read while you are waiting for my next update.**


	28. My Epiphany

**A/N: I'm back, and you would have gotten this sooner if it wasn't for the fact that has been in total failmode lately. *knock on wood this actually works***

**Anywhoo, thanks so much to whoever the hell rec'd this. I've been getting a whack of new readers, so it much appreciated. Big thanks to my girl MaggieMay14 who has been turning these chapters around to me quickly because she too is just as excited to read it.**

**If you are waiting to read until the HF is completely over, flightlessbird11 I'm looking at you, well we are not quiet there yet. Although things are most definately moving in the right direction. Thanks to my awesome pre-readers Beegurl13, Risbee, Tilly Whitlock and TwiOthGirly (the artist formerly known as Kiki Enigma) for giving me your honest opinions about this chapter.**

**I don't own Twilight, but I think I lost my husband's bluetooth. FML.**

**EPOV**

The moment I got off the phone with my father, I literally felt like I was going to be ill. I hadn't felt like this since Chief Swan had told me that Bella was sick and that was three and a half years ago.

"Is everything alright?" Siobhan asked as I stood quickly from the table and fumbled in my pocket for my cell phone. "You look like you've seen a ghost or something Edward."

"I have to go," I stammered as I practically sprinted towards the door, Siobhan lagging behind slightly since she had only just gotten her cast off.

"Edward… is this because I wanted more?" she questioned as I stopped dead in my tracks just as I was in front of the door.

"No. Fuck … no, it's not because you wanted more. My mother was in a fucking car accident back home and I need to be there for her," I stated angrily as Siobhan's face went from one of frustration to one radiating concern. "I'm sorry… for leaving and for clearly misleading you into thinking I wanted anything more than a friendship, but I really have to go." I handed twenty dollars to our waitress who walked by a moment later and ran from the coffee shop, desperate to get home to Forks.

I called James as I drove back to our house and begged him to look for a flight online for me leaving out of the local Lebanon airport. When I ran into the house and up the stairs, taking them two at a time, I grabbed a duffel bag, shoving my clothes into it without any regard for what I was actually packing. "Your flight is at twelve thirty dude," said James casually as he stood in my doorway, leaning against the jam with a slight frown on his face. "This isn't about that girl is it? The one you still harbor feelings for?"

"Um no Dr. Phil, this is about my mom. She was in a fucking car accident this morning," I spluttered as I sat on the edge of my bed, my heart literally jumping out of my chest as I tugged at my hair and James lolled his head against the door, emitting a loud thump in the process. He and I had talked briefly over the years about Bella, but I narrowed my eyes at his accusation because I didn't think I still had feelings for her. Those had long since passed, in my opinion.

"I'm sorry man. You didn't exactly give me any details earlier other than for me to book you a ticket to Port Angeles, which is not the easiest thing to do by the way." I looked up at James and he had the same look of concern on his face that Siobhan had only fifteen minutes earlier. "You have a layover at Logan, but you should get into Port Angeles by like nine or ten tonight, after you switch plans in Seattle. Stupid time change."

"Thanks man, you really are a lifesaver," I said as I stood up and gave him one of those awkward half hug things that men do in moments just like this. "Drive me to Lebanon?" James nodded his head slowly as I grabbed my duffle bag from my bed and headed out, closing my bedroom firmly behind me, not sure when I would see my room again.

My flight took off promptly and less than an hour later I was sitting in Boston eating a bagel and drinking a tepid coffee, looking down at the ground and waiting for my next flight. I called my father's cell phone and kept getting his voicemail because he was most likely at the hospital, where cell phones weren't allowed to be on or used around all the medical equipment. I begged him to call me when he got the chance and then I tried desperately to think of someone who I could call that would be able to tell me something. Jasper and Alice were still living in Seattle and last time I checked Emmett and Rosalie were somewhere in California. I had burned almost every other bridge before I left, but then I had an epiphany of sorts and I considered calling Chief Swan.

As my fingers danced over the numbers, which I still had memorized, on my cell phone while contemplating calling him, they began boarding my flight, so I tossed my leftover food into the trash and prepared to board. I arrived in Seattle around 7:15 local time and then had another short layover before I caught my flight to Port Angeles, which was in the smallest plane I had ever been in. When I landed, I called my father once more, getting his voicemail and simply deciding to take a cab from the airport to the hospital. I had to go there first; I had to see my mother and know how she was doing.

When I walked in, I headed straight to the information desk and was told that my mother was in surgery. Sheila, the woman behind the desk informed me that my family was waiting on the second floor, that she knew my father very well and that she and the rest of the hospital staff were praying for her. I just nodded my head, both in numbness and because I was so fucking tired from traveling all day. This was not how I pictured my day would end up.

It also wasn't how I envisioned seeing Bella after being gone for so long, but sure enough, when I walked into the second floor waiting room expecting to find my father, there she was… with him.

Jacob's arm was wrapped around her shoulder possessively while he attempted to read some magazine with his free hand. Bella looked sad, empty and above all, bored out of her mind. I watched them for a few moments quietly, her head going straight up to the clock to check the time before she looked towards the door where I stood, shifting nervously. She was as beautiful as ever, her hair a little shorter, but definitely attractive. She looked good, albeit a bit rundown, but above all she was healthy and my heart literally jumped in my chest, even more so when she looked up and saw me standing there.

The moment our eyes connected, I knew that my three and a half years of claiming I didn't love her had all been a lie. Even that morning when James questioned my motives for coming home, I knew I loved her, I just refused to accept it because Bella wasn't the only person to get their heartbroken when our relationship splintered irrevocably.

Her entire body tensed and I groaned internally to myself because I knew Jacob could sense the change in her because he was sitting so close to her. "What's wrong?" he asked as he looked over at her quickly and without any true concern, not bothering to put his magazine down as Bella just shook her head from side to side slightly, insinuating that nothing was wrong. However her eyes were glued to mine and I could tell she was just as shocked as I was. I didn't know what to say or how to start conversation with her, so I didn't. Instead, I pulled a trademark Edward Cullen move and turned away, heading down the hall to the nurses' station where I found my father talking to a doctor who I didn't recognize.

"Edward," he stated as he grabbed my forearm and pulled me into a gigantic hug. He then let out a huge sigh and I followed suit, until he finally let go and motioned towards the doctor beside us. "This is Dr. Dolan, he just got out of the OR from performing surgery on your mom. They are getting ready to take her back to the ICU."

"How did the surgery go?" I inquired in a panic. Dr. Dolan didn't look too upset, and neither did my father, so I was quick to assume that things had gone well.

"It was touch and go there for a while, but she pulled through just fine. We're keeping her in the ICU to monitor her as closely as possible because she had several serious injuries, including a broken leg, internal bleeding, a torn spleen and some head trauma."

"But she's doing alright?" I questioned again, as though what Dr. Dolan was telling me wasn't sinking in. For fucks sake, I was a pre med student and I seemed to have having trouble understanding what he had been saying. Then again, if I could get Bella off of my mind maybe I could focus.

"The first few hours will be tricky, but we are hopeful of a full recovery with no long term issues." Dr. Dolan finished and my father thanked him for his help and he promised that he would keep us up to date with her progress. My dad inquired as to when we would be able to see her and Dr. Dolan promised to get a nurse to tell us the moment she was settled in the ICU. It didn't make me feel any better about the situation though. I looked down at my hands, which were shaking almost violently and I needed to sit down, but the nearest chair was in the waiting room, with Bella and him.

"Are you alright?" my dad questioned after Dr. Dolan had disappeared back down the hallway and my eyes began darting around looking for an exit.

"Yeah. I just need a coffee, it's been a pretty long day," I said as I shoved my hands in my pockets, trying to hide my jerky movements from him. "I'm assuming they haven't moved the cafeteria in the past three years?" I asked with a nervous laugh as my dad simply nodded his head. I headed towards the elevator, hoping for two minutes of peace and quiet, but I was followed by my father, who after speaking briefly to a nurse about something, seemed even more concerned about me that he did my mother's recovery.

"I have to forewarn you about something," he stated as we sat at a small table in the cafeteria, facing each other, both of us clearly anxious. "Bella is upstairs with Jacob." Those were the exact words I expected to come from his mouth, but hearing them didn't make it hurt less. "She and your mother are still really close and she came over as soon as she heard about the accident. You don't need to see her if you don't want to."

"I already saw her."

"When?"

"I went into the waiting room looking for you there first. "

"How did that go?"

"I didn't say anything. I turned and walked away," I admitted to him. I hung my head slightly in shame and felt like that scared eighteen year old boy who had been here just three years prior worried about seeing his sick girlfriend. The same girl who was now upstairs looking empty, and yet so damned beautiful.

"You do realize that this is the perfect time for you to repair that relationship right?" my father questioned as I looked at him incredulously. Did he honestly want me to reconcile with Bella after everything we had been through? Jesus there was no way in hell she would even consider being with me again after everything I had done. I knew I was at fault; I blamed her illness for tearing us apart when it had really been me, but three years was a long time to go without making amends. "I'm not saying that you need to date her again Edward. She seems perfectly content with Jacob, most of the time. I just think you should apologize so the both of you can move on. I know it would mean the world to your mother."

"Do you honestly think Bella wants to hear a single word I have to say?" I asked curiously as my father quirked his eye brow at me, signaling that he knew something more, but he wasn't saying anything. "Just spill it… I can tell you want to say something old man."

"Hey, I'm not old," he said with a slight smile as his hands reached up and rubbed at his temples, where his hair was starting to grey slightly. Of course on my father it simply looked distinguished. "I think you would be surprised by the reaction Bella would have if you apologized to her. She's been through a lot since you saw her last. She's wise, charming and infinitely more mature than you guys were when she got sick," he added as I held up my hand to silence him.

"Regardless of how much she may have grown in the past few years, I still don't have any delusions where she is concerned. I am one hundred percent certain that she hates my guts. Lord knows if the shoe was on the other foot, I would have a really hard time forgiving her," I explained as my father nodded his head slowly in understanding. "It's a little ironic that I can come here and deal with mom being sick, but when Bella was in basically the same position, I ran like the wind."

"Edward, it's clear you have matured quite a bit in your time at Dartmouth, too. Your mother and I actually discussed it a few weeks ago when you mentioned helping that girl in the park. You need to forgive yourself first if you want to try and get Bella to forgive you."

Just as I was about to speak again, a nurse came over to our table to let us know that my mother was settled in the ICU and we could visit. We both stood up immediately and practically ran to see her, our arms flailing about our sides excitedly. I hadn't seen my mother since Christmas and the last thing I wanted to see was her lying broken in a bed, but I loved her and I had to go to her.

I stopped dead in my tracks outside her door and smacked myself against the head in frustration. Why the fuck did it take me over three years to realize that if you love someone, you do anything to be with them? I rushed here to be with my mother, paying over a thousand dollars for a last minute flight and practically freaking out the entire way because I loved my mother enough to help her through this. Why couldn't I have done this for Bella?

"I should have done this for Bella," I stated as I grabbed the door jam to support my now shaking body and my father looked at me expectantly as I wondered my anger over how I found out about Bella being suck clouded over everything else.

"Did you say something?" he asked me as I shook my head from side to side in the negative and then followed him into the room. My heart lurched and I had to put my hand over my mouth to keep from gasping too loudly at the sight of my broken mother on the bed in front of me. She was always so infallible, nothing could hurt her, but apparently I had been wrong. Then again, I was quickly realizing I had been wrong about a lot of things.

Her face was bruised and there were a few bandages around her eyes and face, for minor cuts and scrapes no doubt. Her leg was wrapped in brace and was dangling from the traction device above her bed. Dr. Dolan had mentioned a broken leg when he had told us about how her surgery went, but I hadn't really thought about it until I saw her lying there. She looked years older than I had seen her last and I couldn't help but wonder why. "I'm going to go tell Bella and Jacob that she is doing alright, so they can head home. They have been here for hours and surely need to get some rest."

I just nodded in response at my father and grabbed the nearest chair, pulling it to my mother's bedside as he left the room and taking a seat as I reached for my mother's small, delicate hand. I held it tightly in mine for what seemed like ages before I finally spoke.

"Hey Mom," I said quietly as I attempted to brush a bit of her hair away from her face, but failed miserably. "You look good, well… better than I expected I suppose. I'm sorry it took you being hit by a lumber truck to get me to come home. I'm sorry I told you I didn't want to come home for the summer." I whispered the last part so quietly I wasn't even sure I had said it until I hear small footsteps a moment later.

"Why didn't you want to come home?" I heard Bella's tentative voice ask and when I looked up, she was standing there with a small smile on her face. Her hands were in front of her, clasped together and she was wringing them nervously and I honestly felt like I was about to throw up. "Hi."

"Hi," I said timidly as Bella moved closer to get a good look at my mother. What surprised me the most was when she grabbed the chart at the end of her bed and began looking at intensely. "I didn't want to come home… it's too hard."

"Yeah, try staying here, it's no picnic on the best day," she said with a small laugh as she put the chart down and I raised my eyes at her curiously. "I am graduating in a few weeks with my nursing degree. I need to get my license, but I have a few contacts at the hospital who are trying to get me to work here."

"That's really wonderful," I said honestly as Bella simply nodded her head. "Where's Jacob?" Bella smile immediately turned into a frown and I regretted the words the moment I said them. "I'm sorry."

"He's getting another coffee from the cafeteria before he drives me home to Forks."

"You still live with the Chief?"

"Yup."

"Oh."

"Nothing has changed since you left Edward. The leaves may have fallen off the trees and the wind may have changed direction, but everything is still the same." I looked at her curiously, wondering if there was another meaning to the words that she spoke, but before I had a chance to reply, we were interrupted.

"Bells, are you ready to go?" I heard Jacob's voice call as he walked into the room and his face went white as a ghost when he saw me sitting there beside my mother. "Cullen," he added shortly as he moved right beside Bella and entwined his fingers in hers possessively. I had never felt the urge to beat the shit out of anyone as much I wanted to right then and there.

"Black."

"Back to the old ways, I see," Bella laughed tentatively as she pulled her hand from Jacobs and moved closer to my mother, who was still sedated and moved her hair out of her eyes, succeeding where I had failed. "I'll be back to see you tomorrow Esme," she added, emphasizing the fact that she would be visiting my mother and not me. It didn't really bother me, I was just looking forward to seeing her again, even if it was just for two minutes and she kicked me in the junk; it would be worth it. "Goodnight."

"Night," I said quietly as Jacob tugged on her hand and pulled her from the room. I watched my heart break as he then wrapped his arm around her shoulder and kissed her on the temple, wishing it was me in his place. Then again, if I had pulled my head out of my ass years earlier I probably wouldn't be sitting here watching Jacob Black with my girl, as my mother laid broken in a hospital. Why the fuck couldn't I have come to my senses sooner?

**BPOV**

Seeing Edward show up at the hospital was surreal. The moment I saw his face which had lost its natural baby faced look and was more mature, stoic even, I knew he had changed. Then he turned on his heel and walked away without even a small 'hi' or a wave of his hand and I realized he even though he looked different, it was obvious that not everything had changed; he still ran away from me.

As per usual, Jacob was oblivious to everything and when he asked me what was wrong, I just shook my head from side to side. I knew he would see Edward sooner rather than later, but I wasn't looking for that confrontation to happen before we knew how Esme was doing. She was at the forefront of my mind, not my ex or current boyfriend. They could go out into the parking lot and beat the shit out each other for all I cared, my concern was Esme.

About ten minutes after Edward disappeared, Nurse Claire came to see us and I had to push Jacob's head off of my shoulder because he had decided to simply fall asleep against me. Must be nice to sleep so soundly during a major tragedy like this, I scoffed to myself as Claire explained to me that Dr. Cullen requested I be told that Esme was out of surgery and would be moved back to the ICU soon. Claire promised to keep me apprised of the situation and once we were given the okay to see her a little while later, I told Jacob to go and get a coffee down in the cafeteria because after I saw Esme and had a few minutes with her, we would be going home. Like the little lap dog he seemed to have turned into, Jacob simply acquiesced and went on his way. Of course, it was during his absence that I got to see and talk briefly to Edward.

If I thought he looked more mature from the doorway earlier in the night, seeing him mere feet in front of me, I was surprised by how much he had grown and changed. His hair was still the same massive mess of bronze and brown, his eyes were almost emotionless and his posture was stiff. He wasn't even close to being the same Edward I had fallen in love with four years earlier. Alice often complained to me that I was a shell of my former self, simply going through the motions, but Edward seemed ten times worse than I did, or so I thought.

Of course, I expected all hell to break loose the moment that Edward and Jacob saw one another, especially when Jacob wrapped my hand in his, doing his best to point out the fact that we were together. However, Edward just shook his head and focused on his mother, not the fact that Jacob was basically marking his territory. I wished him a short goodnight and when Jacob helped me into his car, his ranting and raving began immediately.

"Did you know he was going to be here?" he asked breathlessly as he shoved the key into the ignition a little harder than was necessary. "I mean, is this why you wanted to come here … to see him?"

"Jesus fuck Jacob, pull your head out of your ass," I stated firmly as I put on my seatbelt and stared out the window for a moment trying to find the right words to say that didn't involve me verbally bitch slapping him for being so inconsiderate. "Esme is my friend, and has been since I was a young girl. I came here to see her and make sure she was alright, nothing more. Did I know Edward would be here?" I stopped speaking for a second; not wanting to state to him that I hoped he would be here and I would see him again. "No, I didn't know. However, she is his mother. If this was your mom or dad, wouldn't you run to their side from anywhere to be with them?"

I glanced over and watched as Jacob shook his head in agreement silently before pulling out of the parking spot and heading onto the main road to drive home. It was fairly quiet for most of the ride until we were about ten minutes outside of Forks and Jacob decided it was time to cut the tension between us. "I don't want you spending time with him."

"First of all, I am not planning to spend time with him, but I won't let you keep me from seeing Esme," I stated firmly as Jacob's hands grew tighter against the steering wheel. "Secondly, we just started dating Jacob, who are you to give me ultimatums like this?"

"I know how he works Bella. He's going to do or say something and you will fall under his spell again," Jacob stated, his teeth clenched and I could sense the tension he was emanating. "I saw it the first time you guys started dating and you picked him over me."

"I'm not picking either of you," I replied angrily as we passed the 'Welcome to Forks' sign and I felt relief wash over me because I knew I would be getting out of this car soon and into the warm confines of my own bed. "I'm picking me. I need to see that Esme is alright and I need to be there for her because she was always there for me. Both times I was sick, when I struggled to get through my last year of school and she was my mentor as I worked on getting my nursing degree. I'm not going to give up on her, because she has never given up on me."

"Are you willing to give up on us?" Jacob asked as we pulled up to a stop sign and my shoulders rose and fell with a huge sigh. I wrapped my arms around myself and struggled to maintain some semblance of calm. Dating Jacob was becoming more fucking stressful than I had imagined, and I didn't know how to reassure him that his issues were all of his own making.

"If you make me choose between you and Esme Cullen, then yes. That would be like you asking me to choose between you and Charlie and I won't even consider it Jacob. I love you," I stated, as my mind instantly regretted the words they moment they came out of my mouth. "Like my best friend. I know you want us to be so much more, and I am working on it, but you can't ask me to stay away from one of the most important people in my life. How would you feel if I asked you to stay away from Paul, Quil or Billy?"

"It's not the same thing," Jacob said as we pulled onto my street and he tried half-heartedly to defend himself.

"Yes Jacob, it's exactly the same fucking thing," I stated as he pulled in front of the house and I quickly undid my seat belt and grabbed the handle of the door to get out. Jacob grabbed my forearm and I pulled it away quickly as I jumped out of the car, with Jacob following right behind, sprinting up the front steps behind me. "I think you should go home."

"Bella," he said as he jumped in front of the door, his eyes pleading with me to listen to him, so I relented a bit. "Okay, I'm not going to ask you to stay away from Esme. I know she is important to you, but can you try to avoid Edward?"

"Did you think I was going to go out of my way to find and confront the guy who broke my heart as I laid in a hospital bed fighting for my life?" I asked in frustration, both at Jacob and Edward, who I still hadn't managed to forgive.

"Well, no…."

"Then stop worrying. Are you still going hunting tomorrow, or later today I guess, with your dad and Quil?" I questioned as Jacob's hands moved up and down against my arms tenderly. I felt so bad because I knew in my soul I was misleading this man into thinking I had more feelings for him than I really did, but my mind kept rationalizing that in time I could fall in love with him. My heart didn't think the same way though, especially now that I had seen Edward again.

"Yeah. How about we meet for breakfast at the diner around nine?" I nodded my head in response as I heard Scrappy begin scratching at the front door, sensing that Jacob and I were there. I opened the door so that he didn't start barking and wake up my father and he lapped happily at my hand before giving Jake a small growl. Even after having the dog for almost four years, Scrappy still was not Jacob's biggest fan. I was never sure if this dog was smart or just stubborn.

Jacob gave me a small kiss on the cheek and I guided Scrappy back into the house. He followed me up the stairs and got comfortable on the bed we had for him on the floor at the foot of my bed. Within minutes of crawling into bed, I had fallen asleep, but it was a tumultuous and short lived period as all my dreams were filled with happy memories of times I shared with Edward, not Jacob.

As we had planned, I met Jacob at the diner and he was sitting in a booth holding a small bouquet of yellow sunflowers, my least favorite flower. I shook my head from side to side and showed mock enthusiasm as Jacob pulled me into a small hug and apologized for the night before. Our meal went by quickly, and conversation flowed casually about random topics and nothing of consequence until our bill came and Jacob suddenly turned serious.

"So, I think we should go away next weekend. Just you and me." Jacob's eyes were alit with excitement and my heart sunk into my stomach at the thought of being alone with him for an entire weekend. "There's this great bed and breakfast in Olympia called the Swantown Inn, and I thought it would be great if we went there. Get a room, be alone."

I let out a small sigh because I knew for a fact Jacob was frustrated with our lack of intimacy and this was an attempt at trying to bring us closer, but I wasn't ready yet. I wasn't sure if I would be ready with him, ever, but I knew this was only happening because of the reappearance of Edward. "Jacob, I told you just last night that I don't think I am ready to go away with you. Anyways, Alice is coming into town next weekend," I remembered quickly as Jacob let out a small groan. "It's been ages since I have seen her and Jasper. They just got engaged and he is working as a firefighter and everything. I need to spend some time with her while they are back in town."

"Do we have plans with them?"

"I'm seeing Alice Saturday afternoon. Did you want to get together with Jasper and us for dinner?"

"Not really. I'm actually not that fond of them," Jacob admitted as my mouth fell open in shock. He had always seemed so happy about spending time with them, but apparently it had all been one big lie. "They are your friends, and I don't make you spend tons of time with some of my friends because I know you don't like them that much."

"I have no problem with any of your friends actually," I replied callously as Jacob accepted his credit card back from our waitress and signed the small slip of paper. I was so frustrated that I simply slid off of the bench seat and stepped outside into the warm spring air, letting it overcome me. "I can't believe you think I don't like your friends," I said as Jacob finally joined me outside and we moved towards our cars that were right beside each other in the small diner parking lot.

"You come on, I know you don't like Sam," Jacob countered as I shook my head slightly. He was right there; I didn't really like Sam since he dumped Leah and took up with her cousin Emily. Leah was like a sister to me and I just thought it was a bit heinous since Leah thought they would be engaged by now. Then again, the moment Alice told me that she and Jasper had finally gotten engaged, I immediately thought of Edward and where I would have seen our future going if we had stayed together.

"Sam hurt someone I love and I'm not sure I can ever like him," I stated seriously as Jacob let out a small laugh and opened the door to his car, preparing to leave.

"Now you know how I feel about Edward." I simply nodded in response and offered Jacob a small kiss before he closed the door of his car. "I'll call you tonight when I get home." Jacob waved goodbye and I got into Charlie's old truck, which was my new vehicle since he had the engine rebuilt as a graduation gift to me. He ended up getting it early, so he gave it to me the moment it was all fixed and I had been overwhelmed with the gift.

I hopped up and sat in the front, my keys dangling in my fingers as I decided what to do. I could go get groceries because the house desperately needed them and Charlie never did anything domestic like that, or I could go see Esme. I had talked to Sue briefly this morning and she was anguished over what had happened because Esme had been driving out to La Push to pick up Sue so that they could head to a home show in Seattle, hoping to beat some of the traffic by going so early. Sue hadn't even known until later in the afternoon the day before about the accident because she had been unable to get in touch with Esme, Carlisle or Charlie. I had reassured Sue and she informed me that she was heading to Port Angeles to see Esme today. I needed to talk to someone and since Sue was like my third mother, after the woman who gave birth to me and Esme, so I decided to head to the hospital and hope that I would see her and check in on Esme.

~*~*~

When I got off the elevator on the second floor, I made my way over to the waiting room and found no one sitting there. I headed to the nurses' station and the lovely nurse on duty informed me that Esme had been moved to a private room on the third floor now that she was considerably more stable than she had been the day before. I thanked her for her help and headed over to the elevator bank, pressing the up button and waiting impatiently for it to arrive. I shouldn't have been shocked when the doors opened up and there stood Edward, clutching two coffee cups tightly in his hands and looking sleep deprived.

"Morning," I stated as I stepped onto the elevator and turned my back to him, trying not to focus on the fact that I was standing mere inches away from him.

"It's afternoon actually. It just turned twelve a few minutes ago."

"Well hell, I didn't know I was riding the elevator with Big Ben," I replied caustically as Edward let out a small laugh.

"I could respond honestly, but I would probably earn a well deserved slap, so I will keep my thoughts to myself."

"Good idea," I answered as the elevator dinged and the door opened up. I walked out first and then stopped, waiting for Edward to lead the way to Esme's room. When I walked in, Carlisle was holding vigil at her bedside, his hands wrapped tightly in hers.

"Oh Bella, it's wonderful to see you," Carlisle replied as Edward handed him one of the cups of coffee he had been holding. I moved behind Carlisle and gave him a gentle hug as he remained seated at my insistence. He then began to tell me about Esme's remarkable progress and recovery in the past twelve hours. She was currently in an induced coma but her doctors were expecting her to wake up within the next twelve to twenty four hours. We spent the next hour talking casually and discussing happier memories with Esme, none of them coming from the period where Edward and I were dating though; neither of us was ready to bring it up at all. However, I was shocked by the words that came out of Carlisle's mouth just after one thirty in the afternoon. "You know Bella, maybe you can convince Edward to go home and get some rest. He's been awake since yesterday morning and I even managed a small nap, unlike him."

I looked over at Edward and he was anxiously scratching at the back of his neck, one of his more famous tells for when he was nervous. "Dad, I told you I will get some sleep soon. I don't want to leave you here without a vehicle, so I'll go home when you go home."

"I'm sure Bella would be willing to drive you home Edward," added Carlisle as my eyes grew wide at his suggestion. It was one thing to be in the same room with Edward as we listened to his father tell us stories about Esme, but it was another to sit in the small confines of my truck with him as I drove him back to Forks. Could I do it? Would I be willing to do it?

"I'm not even going to ask," Edward stated as he took a sip of his coffee and I could tell he was faltering. He was clearly exhausted because he looked even worse than he had when I left earlier in the morning, shortly after our short encounter with Jacob.

"You don't have to ask Edward. I'd be willing to do this for Esme and Carlisle. I doubt it will help your father if you stay here and can't function. He doesn't need to be worrying about you and Esme." I was forceful as I spoke and Edward seemed taken aback by my statement.

"See," said Carlisle as he looked directly at Edward and gave him a small smile. "Go home, have a shower and get some rest. You need it. Like Bella said, I don't need to be worrying about both you and your mother."

"Are you sure you don't mind?" Edward questioned as I simply shook my head, and he finally agreed to the prodding by me and his father. Not two second later, Sue Clearwater walked through the door with a tentative smile on her face and I stepped forward and gave her a big hug. We talked briefly, but Carlisle was insistent at me getting Edward home, so I left Sue to console Carlisle as I made Edward grab his duffle bag and follow me.

I couldn't help but hear the tiny laugh that fell from his mouth when he saw that I still had the old Chevy. "This thing should have been put down years ago," he said as he flung his bag into the back of the truck and I hopped in, leaning over to unlock the door since I didn't have automatic locks on the truck. "It's in surprisingly good shape though."

"Yeah, my dad gave me the truck for a graduation gift. He had Jacob do the work on the engine and hired someone else to do the interior work," I admitted casually as I heard Edward grumble incoherently, most likely cursing about Jacob under his breath so I couldn't hear him. "It runs better than ever, so I'm happy with it."

"Well, it looks good. Could use a paint job, but other than that you seem to have a nice tank here," he added as I motioned for him to buckle up his seat belt and he did as requested. "I'm sorry about this by the way. I didn't want to put you into any awkward situations and my father seems to have done a great job of ignoring my requests."

"It's fine, really," I said reassuringly as Edward smiled slightly at me and I put the truck in reverse and we headed back towards Forks. The first few minutes of our ride to his parents' house were filled with awkward silence and I turned on the radio as I tried to ignore it as best as I could. Unfortunately, the longer I spent in the truck with Edward, the more I recalled the little things about him that I loved. He smelled the same as ever, if not slightly better, and he tapped his fingers nervously against the glass of the window in perfect rhythm with the song. He was constantly running his fingers through his hair, and even though I never forgave him for what happened between us, the deterioration and utter failure of our relationship, I couldn't help it when my fingers twitched, desperate to be entwined in his hair.

While our intense silence continued, the radio changed to 'Then' by Brad Paisley and we both reached over to the dashboard to change the station, our fingers touching for just a moment, but the spark I used to always feel when I touched Edward was still there.

"I'm sorry," Edward whispered quietly.

"Really, it's no problem."

"No… I don't mean about the radio. I mean… about everything. I'm sorry about everything Bella. I'm sorry I didn't come to the hospital the moment I found out you were there. I should have come a lot sooner than I did and I should have been open and honest with you. I should have opened the lines of communication between us when things started to go downhill. I shouldn't have written down my words of love and regret to you in a letter," Edward stammered on quickly, clearly flustered but desperate to finally say his piece. I went to hold up my hand to silence him as I attempted to keep my eyes on the road. "Bella, this is long overdue and you know it."

I pulled the truck over into a small gravel area on the side of the road and decided to just let Edward get this off of his chest, so that I could share a piece of my mind as well. "Go ahead then."

"You have no idea how much I regret everything I have done and said to you since the moment I found out you were sick, but I didn't know what to do. I just couldn't handle watching the girl I love fall apart and die in front of my eyes. By the time I managed to come to terms with everything, it was too late. I really hoped and prayed it wouldn't have been, that you would have read the note and realized I was remorseful, confused and heartbroken. It didn't help matters that Jacob was always around whenever I did show up."

"Jacob was nothing but a friend to me while I was sick," I countered angrily as Edward narrowed his eyes at me, the anger rolling off of him in waves.

"A friend? I beg to differ."

"You can say whatever you want about you back in that time, but Jacob was a better friend than I probably deserved or still deserve," I confessed as Edward just scoffed loudly.

"Did you ever read my letter?"

"No. I never got a letter Edward."

"I left it a few days before Valentines when I came in to visit you, but you were asleep," he admitted as I looked at him completely confused.

"There was no note Edward," I replied honestly as my mind started to reel with memories from those days before Edward and I broke up. "I saw Jacob that night and he had some paper that he was using for studying math or something, but no note…" I trailed off, my mind running a mile a minute as I realized that Jacob never even opened the piece of paper that day, so how did he know what the hell was written on it. I could have been anything, not his geometry notes or whatever the hell he claimed to have been studying.

"He took my note?" Edward asked incredulously as I shook my head from side to side repeatedly because there was no way Jacob would do that. He wouldn't prey on a sick girl and do things to make her think her boyfriend didn't love her… would he?

"He wouldn't do that."

"Oh really? He claimed my flowers were from him, I wouldn't put it past him to have seen my note on your nightstand and pocket it, so that you couldn't read it."

"Huh? What flowers from you?" I asked breathlessly as Edward grabbed at his hair again and let out a long sigh.

"I sent you flowers on Valentines' Day Bella, with another note of apology. They were red and pink roses that cost me like two hundred bucks. Stupid fucking florist. I called them and confirmed they were delivered, but when I came to see you, you insisted they were from Jake. At this point you didn't even want to hear anything from me, so it was pointless to argue. You wouldn't have believed me."

"What makes you think I believe you now?" I questioned angrily as Edward let out a small groan. "You could be lying to get into my good graces."

"Bella, I know it will be a long journey to get your trust back and you probably won't ever love me like you used to, but I don't want to see you with Jacob. He's not good for you and I think you know this." I couldn't help but think that Edward could sense my dissatisfaction with my life and Jacob. I wasn't happy and almost everyone knew this, but they thought that this was what I wanted for my life, so no one pushed me or told me otherwise. Everyone placated me, but Edward apparently.

Without even thinking, I turned the truck back on and we pulled onto the highway again once traffic was clear. "Are we going to finish this conversation?" I looked at the clock on the dash and thought that maybe we would get to Jake's father's place in La Push right around the time they were due home from hunting. I knew Jake would be angry and defensive because I had Edward with me, but at that moment I didn't care. I needed answers.

"No. I need to talk to Jacob and you are coming with me."

**A/N: Yeah, they are talking. Isn't it exciting? The next chapter may already be back from my beta, and she may have cheered during some of it. LOL.**

**I want to say a huge CONGRATS to my girl flightlessbird11 who's solo fic 'Someone to Watch Over Me' was recently nominated for an Indie TwiFic Award. WOO HOO! So if you need something new to read, head on over to read her story, it's on my favorites. It's also recently completed, so enjoy! :)**


	29. My Clean Break

**A/N: I promised a Saturday update and I didn't fail. Yeah Me.**

**Now, onto some news… my girl flightlessbird11 was nominated for an Indie TwiFic award for her first fic, Someone to Watch Over Me. Head on over and read it, then go vote. She's still shocked I'm sure. **

**I have another rec in my bottom AN, so read the story and then head on over to one of my recs. Big thanks to the usual crew, Risbee, Beegurl13, TwiOthGirly and Tilly Whitlock for pre-reading and MaggieMay14 for being an awesome beta, even though I feel like I overwhelm her.**

**I don't own Twilight, but I do have two tickets to see Kevin Smith, aka Silent Bob, in Toronto tonight, so I am posting this before I leave. Have a wonderful night everyone!**

**EPOV**

This was not how I thought things would go at all when I finally managed a few minutes alone with Bella. The air in the car was ripe with tension and I couldn't tell who she was more upset with, me or Jacob. Of course I was hopeful that it was Jacob, but after our conversation as we drove from Port Angeles, I didn't think I was in her good graces either.

"Umm… so where exactly are we going?" I asked as we pulled into Forks and waited at a stop sign before Bella turned right onto the main street, her truck having to deal with the deathly slow traffic as we went.

"La Push. Jake was supposed to have gone hunting with his dad and best friend today. If my math is right then they should be coming home any minute now. There's a Mariners game on tonight and I know Billy won't miss it," Bella stated firmly as we pulled up to the stoplight at the center of town. I glanced over to my right and saw the bank where I still had an account and then directly across from it was the flower shop where I had stupidly ordered my flowers from all those years ago. However, as I went to look away, I saw a familiar guy getting out of a classic car and moving to go into the store.

"What kind of car does Jacob drive?" I questioned curiously as Bella looked over at me with interest and the car behind us began honking because the light had turned green a few seconds earlier.

"A Black '67 Mustang. I think he loves that damn car more than me," she said with a sigh and I gave a small smile in return, hoping that was true. Bella didn't seem too heartbroken over it all though, just frustrated and flustered. We started moving forward and I pointed to the car in front of the flower shop before we passed it.

"A Mustang like that one?" I questioned. Suddenly, everything seemed to move in very slow motion as Bella turned her head to look over at the car and she growled while she nodded her head. It was the sexiest yet most ferocious noise I had ever heard in my entire life, and I knew that it was Jacob she was more frustrated with at that very moment.

"Yes," she replied through clenched teeth as she slowed the truck and immediately began looking for a parking space. "He was supposed to be hunting. This is clearly not him hunting," she mumbled angrily as I watched in trepidation as she parallel parked in front of the yogurt shop we used to go to back in high school and when she finally finished parking, I reached out towards Bella, in an effort to calm her, but she pulled her arm away defensively. "Don't touch me."

"Fine. Listen, I think you should just take me back to my parents' house. No good can come of whatever the hell is about to go down," I stated as Bella went to open her car door and I reached over and hit the old school lock on her door as I locked us in the truck. "Do you even know what you are going to say to him?" I took a deep breath, reveling in being in such close proximity to her before pulling away and finding Bella's gaze. She was staring at me angrily and reached over, pulling up the lock before looking to step out of the truck. I followed suit and stayed right behind her as she stalked down the sidewalk towards the flower shop.

"Don't you want to know the truth Edward?" she asked furiously. "I would think that you of all people would want to know if Jake stole this apparent note and took your flowers, claiming them as his gift to me," asked Bella as she used air quotes while emphasizing my note and flowers, which she was clearly still on the fence about believing were mine.

"Would it make a difference? Would you forgive me?" I asked quietly as Bella stopped dead in her tracks a few feet from the door.

"I'm not sure. I just can't forget the past several years Edward," she said as she hung her head and I had to withhold the urge to reach out and lift her chin up with my finger. She had too beautiful of a soul to be hurting like she was, but it was clear to me that forgiveness was not something I would easily come by. I had stayed away for so long because I knew the moment I saw her that I would want her back, and standing here beside her, watching her be furious at me, it was still true. I still loved her with all of my heart.

"I didn't ask you to forget them. Move forward is more of what I had in mind," I added as someone walked by the flower shop holding a small bouquet of gerbera daisies, reminding me of the flowers I gotten Bella early in our relationship. I shook my head from the thought and watched as Bella grabbed the door and headed into the store, completely ignoring my question, and clearly on a quest to get answers for the both of us.

I ran to catch up to her and when we walked inside, finding that there was no one around the shop, which was a little surprising. We moved quietly towards the back counter where we expected to find someone to wait on us, but there was no one there. Bella held up her finger to her mouth, motioning for me to stay quiet and I just shrugged my shoulders, wondering what the hell was going on. She eased her way around the back counter quietly and she peeked inside the opening to the back room, both of us hearing odd noises coming from the concealed office space.

Bell disappeared behind the back wall and when I finally turned the corner to follow her, she was standing perfectly still with her mouth hanging wide open in pure astonishment. "Oh god Jacob… more," were the words that filled the office as I my own jaw fell open. In front of us, Jacob was standing with his back to us, his pants around his ankles and he was clearly having sex with the girl on the desk in the office, her legs splayed out on either side of his waist. I began scrubbing my eyes because I wasn't even sure if this scene before me was right. This had to have been my perfect dream right?

"So fucking tight," Jacob replied as I watched as Bella grabbed the first thing she could find, a catalogue about something floral and whipped it right at him, hitting him smack in the middle of the back of his head. She had a shockingly accurate throw for someone who was so horrible at sports when she was younger.

"Ow…. what the fuck?" Jacob shouted out in pain and confusion before he turned around and looked shocked by the fact that Bella and I had caught him red handed. He quickly struggled to pull up his pants as the girl behind him looked like a deer caught in the headlights, clearly confused by the entire situation. "Umm, if you two want flowers you'll have to wait outside for a second."

I stifled a laugh as I looked over at Bella who was literally shaking with fury. These two had another thing coming, and I kind of wished for a moment that I had some popcorn to watch all this shit go down. I knew Bella and I weren't exactly in the best place right now, but I certainly had to have a leg up over this piece of shit right?

"No, I don't want any fucking flowers. I want you to stop fucking my boyfriend," Bella declared as Jacob finished buttoning his pants and he began walking away from the girl on the desk with no regard to her feelings and towards Bella, with his hands raised in surrender.

"Can we go outside and talk about this," Jacob pleaded as he looked over at me for a moment, his remorseful face turning into one of anger. "What the fuck is he doing here?" Jake dropped his hands to his side and began stalking towards me this time as Bella jumped in between us. I was ready to beat the shit out of him simply because he had clearly been cheating on Bella, but also for all those years of frustration he had caused me. If Jake was in fact that reason Bella never got my note, I was prepared to fuck him up, there was no doubt about it. My clenched fist even twitched in excitement at the thought of getting just one shot in at him.

"I was heading to La Push to get some answers from you, but lo and behold, we saw your car parked out front. Getting some flowers are you?" Bella snapped, her voice louder and angrier than I had ever heard it before. Even when we fought and broke up all those years ago, she hadn't sounded as mad as she did at that particular moment. Although in that case, she was more emotional. Today she seemed rather cool about the situation. I didn't think she had the same feelings for Jacob that she had for me, and this was just further proof that I was correct. She didn't love him. My heart did a little happy dance at the thought, as my brain reminded me that we still had a long way to go before Bella would forgive me.

"Perhaps you wanted to get Bella some red and pink roses?" I asked as Jacob turned white, which was a feat considering how dark skinned he was to begin with. "Oh that's right… you don't buy flowers, you sweet talk them from delivery people and claim them as your own."

"I have no idea what the hell you are talking about," Jacob declared as I rolled my eyes and watched as he reached out for Bella's forearm and began dragging her to the front of the store. My blood began to boil and my fists immediately closed and tightened again in anger, intending to strike this piece of crap, but I was pleasantly surprised when Bella pulled her arm away and slapped him fiercely.

The girl from the desk came out into the front of the shop, her dress now back in its proper position and she looked sullen, perplexed and a little scared. "Jacob, are you okay?" she asked, the concern clear in her voice before she turned towards Bella and her fearful demeanor turned into one of pure hatred. "How dare you lay a finger on him. Who the fuck do you think you are?" The flower shop girl started poking Bella in the chest as she stalked towards her, moving Bella even further towards the front of the store.

"I would be his girlfriend… scratch that, his ex girlfriend. Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm his girlfriend, Nessie," she declared emphatically, emphasizing the word _'I'm' _as I looked between the three of them, in complete awe as the shit truly hit the fan. Jacob was now being stared at by both girls who were clearly putting two and two together and I just stood there watching dumbstruck at the sheer audacity and stupidity of this poor guy. I had no remorse for him though since he had clearly dug his own grave, but I honestly couldn't wait to watch him get buried.

"His girlfriend huh? How long have you guys been dating?" Bella shouted as the girls suddenly took their fight outside of the flower shop and onto the sidewalk. Some of the citizens of Forks were walking by, doing their usual routine of going to the bank or getting stamps, whatever the fuck it was they had to do, but because this was a small town and nothing ever happened, they actually stopped to gawk at the scene before them.

"Umm… " Nessie looked over at Jacob for a moment, and I let out a laugh as he raised his hand to his forehead, a loud smack sound coming from the impact. "Like a year I think."

"A year," yelled out Bella as an elderly couple came over and began watching like this was an episode of Jerry Springer or something. Bella turned her attention towards Jacob, the true asshole in this situation, and narrowed her eyes at him. "You've been dating this whore for a year. You have got to be fucking kidding me. Why the hell did you even want to be with me?"

"I love you," Jacob implored as Bella and I both laughed loudly. There may have even been a snort from me, or one of the other viewers, I'm not quite sure. "We're perfect for each other."

"You told me you loved me," shouted Nessie as Bella interrupted her, clearly frustrated that this girl had not only been fucking her boyfriend, but was now interrupting their conversation.

"You love me? You fucking love me… you certainly have an odd way of showing it. You pursue me for years only to have this on the side?" Bella shouted as she began walking around me, the anger pouring off of her as she struggled to maintain some semblance of composure in the small crowd that had gathered. "I never should have fucking listened to my brain. It kept telling me to date you because you would never break my heart like Edward had. You were safe and I thought I could be happy with you, and maybe one day fall in love. I thank god that my heart was never in our relationship. Fuck you Jacob Black. You can go to hell." Bella reached her hand up and slapped him once more as a feeling of satisfaction ran through my body.

My heart ached a little bit at the realization that Bella had dated Jacob, not because she wanted to, but because she thought she should. I went to move towards Bella in an effort to comfort her, but she pulled away and moved to the side of me, wrapping her arms defensively around herself as I looked over at Jacob, who was having his cheek stroked gently by Nessie. I honestly couldn't believe this girl was still showing any concern for this guy who was clearly cheating on her with Bella. Had she not heard anything that he had said?

"You were nothing but a frigid bitch anyways, Bella. You would fuck Cullen the moment he smiled at you, but you hardly let me touch you," Jacob shouted, surprisingly everyone around us, especially me. Without even thinking about it, I balled my hand into a fist and punched him in the jaw as hard as I could. My hand ached, but I felt somewhat satisfied with myself for defending her honor, and even more smug for finally decking the asshole after wanting to do it for so long.

"Fuck you Jacob. Is that why you were fucking around… because I wouldn't have sex with you?" she questioned, her face looking a bit sad about the entire situation. Of course, my heart swelled knowing that they had never actually slept together. Then again, she could have had sex with dozens of other guys and I just wasn't aware of it. I shook my head of the thought, unwilling to let myself even consider it. "Actually, I don't give a shit. I came looking for you to get something answered, and you are going to tell me the truth if it's the last fucking thing you do."

Jacob quirked his eye brow at her, challenging her and I was ready to haul out and punch him again, but Bella actually grabbed my shoulder and held me back. Her firm touch was soothing and caused small sparks throughout my entire body. How the hell had I ever stayed away from her for three fucking years?

"Do you really think that anything I say will make a difference Bella? I tried for years to have you see me as someone worthy of you and you never once saw me the way you saw him," shouted Jacob as he pointed towards me. Bella didn't seem fazed by his accusation which made me wonder how accurate his statement was. God, I hoped she loved me still.

"Shut up. Did you take a note that Edward left for me in the hospital when I was sick?"

"Did you also take the flowers I sent her?" I questioned as everyone in the crowd stared at Jacob with a bit of disgust. I knew that I for one was furious beyond belief and I just hoped I would get the answers I had wanted for a very long time. I had always wondered why Bella never called or mentioned anything I had said in my letter, but I was certain now that I was going to find out the truth.

"Dude, you had already dug yourself a nice fucking grave by that point. What fucking difference does it make?" Jacob replied furiously.

"Answer the motherfucking question asshole," one of the people standing by watching shouted out of the crowd. Not only was he making Bella and I mad, but he was clearly alienating himself among the people of Forks with his behavior. I let out a small laugh and even noticed a small smile creep up on Bella's face as Jacob fidgeted nervously, clearly unwilling to answer the question. To me his silence gave away the truth, but Bella wanted answers, so I grabbed the collar of Jake's shirt and threatened him again.

"Just tell her the truth," I pleaded furiously with him, the collar of his shirt clenched in my fist.

"You kept them apart when she was sick?" questioned Nessie, suddenly not as supportive of Jacob as she had been a few moments earlier.

"Fine… fuck. Yes. I stole his sappy fucking love letter and I bribed the flower delivery guy with a twenty to let me deliver them. Edward never fucking deserved you Bella. You are so much better than him," Jake declared. Without thinking, I punched him again, this time in the stomach and I felt ecstatic when he doubled over and a few people in the gathered crowd actually clapped. When Jacob moved to get up, I punched him once more in the jaw, and watched as he balled up his own fists ready to punch me in return. I was ready for him, living off of some wild energy from knowing Bella was beside me, and when his fist moved forward, I grabbed him by the wrist and held him in place. He pulled his wrist from me and before I had to chance to move against him again, Bella kicked him in the nuts.

"You deserve so much more than Jacob," Bella stated to Nessie, who was on her cell phone, no doubt calling the cops. "Oh enjoy calling them. I'm sure everyone down at the station, including my dad, will get a good laugh at it." I laughed right along with Bella because it was obvious that Nessie had no idea that Bella was the daughter of the police chief.

"Go to hell Bella," Nessie declared as she then turned and began talking, informing them of the fight going on in front of the flower shop.

"I'm already there bitch," Bella replied caustically as she then looked over at me, practically glaring. "Do you need me to drive you home still?"

"Yes please," I replied simply, eager to spend even five more minutes with her to talk about everything that had just gone down. Before we walked away, I got in one more punch and then followed Bella back towards her old truck. Once we were inside and driving away, things didn't exactly happen like I had hoped they would. "Can we talk about what just happened?"

"No."

"But if we could just…"

"No, Edward."

"Bella, you are being unreason…"

"I don't give a shit right now. I know you want me to say we can talk about the note and shit, but I can't do that. Not right now."

I nodded my head slowly and decided I was willing to give her time to think everything through. Unfortunately for me, I proceeded to get a call on my cell phone at that exact moment and when I looked down at it, I groaned before shoving my phone back in my pocket, not eager to answer it.

It was Siobhan.

**BPOV**

I was shocked. Floored. Fucking flabbergasted that Jacob had spent four years pursuing me, pressuring me is more like it, only to find out that he was fucking someone else for over a year. To make matters worse, I had Edward sitting mere inches away from me in the small confines of my truck trying to get me to talk to him about what had just gone down and what it meant for us. Unfortunately for Edward, it didn't mean anything for us. He still lived in New Hampshire, while I lived here in Forks. He had shattered my heart and even though I had tried to pick up the pieces, it was clearly irreparable. This was not something he could ever fix with mere words or loving declarations.

"If you need to take the call, feel free," I advised Edward after I noticed him fumbling with his phone after it had started ringing loudly. He shoved it in his pocket as he let out a small groan and I just ignored him. If it was someone important, I'm certain he would have answered it.

"Anyways… if you won't talk to me today, would you consider meeting me for coffee or something tomorrow? I was planning to go to the hospital around nine the morning, using the rental car my dad said he would get. We could go together," he stammered, clearly nervous to be asking me to go with him.

"No can do. I actually have some shit to get done. I go for my nursing exam in a few weeks and I have to prepare. I wasn't planning to visit your mom until the late afternoon visiting hours," I replied as Edward fidgeted his hands in his lap and I stifled a laugh. The mere fact that Edward was edgy around me was laughable.

"If I was to wait at the hospital for you, would you talk to me? Maybe have coffee or a beer afterwards?"

"I'm not much of a drinker these days."

"Yeah… me neither," he replied through clenched teeth and I could tell he was lying. I looked back at him momentarily with quirked eye brows and he gave me a sullen expression. "Okay, I don't drink as much as I did when we broke up. Is that better?"

"All I have ever wanted from you was honesty Edward," I stated firmly as we pulled onto his street and I noticed the Cullen's' small house buried back from the road slightly. "If you happen to be at the hospital when I am there, we can talk after my visit."

"I'll wait for you."

"Can I ask you something?" I said quietly as I pulled to a stop in front of the house and Edward's hand instantly gripped the door handle, expecting me to kick him out. "Why Dartmouth?"

"Well you want honesty right? It was the farthest away from you I could get," he declared as I simply nodded my head, my heart aching a bit at his statement. Then again, I couldn't really fault him for it because I had asked him to be honest and if I was in his shoes, I probably would have done the same thing. I watched as he jumped out of the truck and grabbed his bags from the back before he ambled up to the house, his entire body radiating exhaustion. I waited until I knew he was in the house before pulling away and heading back to Charlie's place.

When I walked in the door, Scrappy ran over all excited to see me but I was shocked to find my father standing in the kitchen in full uniform waiting for me. "Am I being arrested?"

"Depends. Is what I heard true?" he replied, a small smirk on his face.

"What did you hear?"

"That you and Edward Cullen beat the crap out of Jacob in front of the flower shop because he was cheating on you and the local townsfolk cheered it on like it was some steel cage match."

"Sounds about right. So, do I need bail money?"

"No Bella, you are not going to jail. I convinced Jacob not to press charges although his little woman was trying awfully hard to change his mind. Although considering the screaming match that was going on between them when we left, I doubt very much that she will be his little lady much longer." I scoffed at Charlie's loose term of the words 'woman' and 'lady' for Nessie and Charlie just rolled his eyes. "So, was it true? Edward was with you?"

"Yeah, he flew into town last night to see Esme after the accident and Carlisle asked me to give him a ride home today because he wanted to stay with Esme, but he was worried about Edward because he hadn't slept," I mumbled quickly as Charlie raised his eye brows at me and sat down in his favorite armchair as though he expected me to answer some question he hadn't asked. "Why aren't you on duty?"

"I'm interrogating a suspect," he said with a laugh as I just shook my head at him and walked into the kitchen, with Scrappy following closely behind me, his tail wagging happily. I was desperately needing something to drink, so I grabbed a can of Pepsi from the fridge and went back to settle in the living room, my mind racing thanks to everything that had gone down during the day. "Are you sure you are alright?"

"Yeah," I replied as I ran my hand down my face in frustration. "I'll survive. It's not every day a girl finds out her boyfriend is cheating on her while going to confront him with her ex-boyfriend. I'll talk to Leah about it later and she'll put things in perspective like she always does." Charlie looked at me curiously before getting up and walking over to give me a fatherly hug.

"You have a good head on your shoulders Bells. I'm sorry about this shit with Jacob, but you'll find someone perfect for you one day soon," Charlie advised me as I nodded my head into his shoulder, small fat tears falling onto his uniform, while Scrappy jumped up and rest his front paws against Charlie's back, trying to get into the action. "I love you baby girl."

"I love you too Daddy," I replied honestly as he kissed the top of my head before standing up from beside me on the couch. "Go back to work and find some real criminals." We both laughed heartily at this comment as Charlie started towards the front door.

"This is Forks Bella; the closest thing to a real criminal these days is mail fraud and jaywalkers. If you need me, I'm sure I can take an afternoon off." I shook my head in the negative as Scrappy jumped onto the couch beside me and nestled in for a rest, while Charlie let out a small groan. He wasn't a fan of Scrappy being on the furniture, but I desperately needed the companionship, so he just wished me a quick farewell before heading out the door, reminding me he had dinner plans with Sue, before he left for work again.

I stayed put on the couch, staring out the front window as I scratched at Scrappy's back while he fell into a comfortable sleep with his head on my lap. My mind began to wander to thoughts of the day all those years ago that Charlie had brought Scrappy into our lives.

"_Come on Bells, I have a surprise for you," he exclaimed as I rubbed the palm of my hands against my eyes and began to adjust to the light in the room._

"_Dad, you know I'm not five anymore right? I'm not that excited for Christmas. Can you give me ten minutes to get downstairs?" I asked as I heard a tiny barking noise coming from the main floor and my head shot up from my pillow. He didn't… did he?_

"_If you don't want to come down and see what I got you, that's fine," said Charlie non-chalantly, as I jumped up from the bed and grabbed my terry cloth robe from my chair. I quickly tossed it around myself and ran down the steps, two at a time, and came face to face with the cutest little German Shepherd puppy I had ever seen._

"_Why… When… You…" I stammered, unable to form the proper words to express my gratitude. I had been begging Charlie for a dog ever since Renee had left and I had way too much free time on my hands. Unfortunately, a dog wasn't in the cards for me until this morning, apparently. When I looked up at Charlie, he had a look of pure elation on his face._

"_One of the guys down at the station, Deputy Mark, has a big old dog called Leesie. Well, it had puppies several weeks ago and when he offered one too me, I couldn't pass up the chance to get one for us. I also figured I'd get lonely when you head off to school in a few months, so the pup here could keep me company," stated Charlie as he sat in his recliner and watched as I gave the puppy some belly rubs._

"_I'm sure Scrappy would love that," I said as the dog tried to jump up and kiss my cheek, missing me and plowing into my chest instead. I let out a small laugh as my dad cocked his eye brow at me._

"_Scrappy?" he said with a low chuckle while I simply nodded my head and watched the dog go underneath the Christmas tree and begin sniffing around at the few presents that lay there._

"_Yeah… Scrappy. I always wanted to name a dog Scrappy and don't you think he looks like a resilient little buggar?" I asked as the dog began swatting at a bow I had placed on one of Charlie's gifts. "See… he's scrappy."_

I was suddenly pulled out of my thoughts by a loud knock on the door and Scrappy immediately started barking at my side. "Calm down boy," I told him gently as I scratched his ear before climbing off the couch. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost eight at night, who the hell was coming over. I grabbed the baseball bat Charlie kept in the front closet, just in case it was Jacob, because there was no way that asshole was getting within ten feet of me ever again.

When I tentatively opened the door, I was shocked to see Edward standing on the other side, holding a large paper bag in his arms. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too sunshine," he said with a grin as he looked down at the bat and then up at me. Before I had a chance to say anything else, Scrappy forced his way between me and the door, immediately lunging at Edward who seemed just as excited to see him. "Wow, he definitely got big."

"Yeah, years and lots of food will do that to a dog," I deadpanned as Edward rolled his eyes. "Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"I did. Three hours is basically all I get these days anyways. I think my body is preparing itself to be a doctor eventually," Edward replied casually as I shoved the baseball bat back into the closet and when I turned around he was closing the door behind him, as he moved into the house.

"Did I invite you in?" I questioned in frustration as Edward looked at me with disappointment in his eyes. He rested the bag down on the kitchen table and then began sorting through it, practically ignoring my existence. "Did you go deaf while you were away?"

"I didn't really come to see you, I came for Scrappy," he declared as grabbed a huge bone from the bag and showed it to the dog who was practically salivating with excitement. "You want this don't you boy?" Scrappy jumped up and rested his paws against Edward's chest, trying desperately to get the bone, which Edward finally relented and handed to him. "I ran into your dad outside the diner. He asked me to deliver this stuff for Scrappy because he saw he was out of food and you would need to feed him." I looked again and noticed a small bag of dog food and some random treats for Scrappy sitting there on the table.

"Oh… thanks," I said apologetically as Edward began moving around the kitchen and then the living room, surveying the surroundings. Virtually everything was untouched in the past few years, with the exception of a few new photos on the mantel which included Sue, Leah and Seth.

"Nothing much has changed huh? Décor wise I mean," he stated as I let out a small giggle.

"Who the fuck says 'décor'?"

"Shut it Swan. It was the first word that came to mind. I get grammatically confused when I'm nervous."

"You've known me since we were little kids Edward. There is no reason to be nervous around me anymore," I replied as Edward strolled around the back of the couch and I went into the kitchen to get another drink. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Um no… I didn't plan on staying long, I just wanted to get Scrappy that food since Charlie couldn't," he replied quietly as I grabbed a glass of water and headed back into the living room. Edward was petting Scrappy's head while he gnawed happily on the bone Edward had given him. "He's a really content dog huh?"

"Yeah," I replied quickly. "Well, unless you count when Jacob was around. Scrappy never really liked him much."

"Smart dog," Edward said with a wink that made my girly bits get excited for a brief moment. I shook the thoughts from my head, reminding myself that this man in front of me was still the boy who broke my heart years ago. "Perhaps he was trying to tell you something."

"Perhaps," I said anxiously as my eyes darted towards the door and Edward got my hint and stood up from his spot in front of the dog, who actually looked up from his bone with longing. It was really hilarious. "Well, I guess I will see you tomorrow afternoon right?"

"Yeah. I'm probably gonna go over to the hospital fairly early, but I will wait for you."

"Um… okay," I stammered as Edward walked towards the door and I couldn't help but lean forward, breathing him in like I needed him to live. It was so fucking pathetic, but I couldn't help it. Being this close to him brought back all of the feelings I had forced away since our argument over three years earlier. I was suddenly bombarded with visions of him pushing me up against the door, his hands roaming all over my body as he kissed the hell out of me. I found myself panting a second later and when I looked over at Edward, he seemed concerned.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah… it's fine. Tomorrow. I will see you tomorrow."

"Okay," he replied as he opened the door and stepped out into the warm May night. I closed it firmly behind him, locking it tight before heading back into the living room where my eyes went right to the coffee table where a book lay open to the very first page.

My fucking journal.

**A/N: Certainly not a major cliffy right? I got a great rec for you this week. I have been pimping this story to everyone, and no one has been disappointed yet, so head on over to the profile for author 22blue and check out her one shot, One Weekend. It has been expanded into a story called Hints of Me, and both of them are fuckawesome.**

**Here's some bad news, I'm not ahead of the game on the next chapter, so I am not sure when I am going to post. Keep an eye on my blog, link on my profile page, for teasers and dates to when I will post next. Perhaps a major influx of reviews will make me write faster. LOL**


	30. My Mutual Apology

**A/N: I didn't think I would get to post this tonight, especially with the two hour season premiere of Survivor that was on. However, in an effort to cheer myself up, I decided what the hell, edited and now it's posted. So enjoy.**

**Thanks to the usual crew, you know who you are and I am a bloody lazy bitch. For all of those interested, if more madness goes down in the fandom and I have to move my fics, check my blog first for their new location. I may be making contingency plans, but I don't plan to stop posting here unless the time comes that they tell me to get my shit and get the fuck out of dodge.**

**I don't own twilight. I do have a low bullshit tolerance, hate over dramatic people and could use a nap.**

**EPOV**

When I got home that night, after dropping the stuff off at Bella's house, I was quick to go up to my old bedroom and go to bed. I hadn't gotten enough sleep when I was at the house earlier, my mind overwhelmed with thoughts about the afternoon and our confrontation with Jacob. Part of me wanted to blame him completely for the mess that we had found ourselves in, but I knew in my heart that wasn't the case.

I had been scared shitless of losing her, so I did the only thing I thought was logical at the time, and ran like the wind. I stayed away and I wallowed in my own self pity until the point of self destruction. All the time I was drinking and suffering through my own emotional issues, I should have been with Bella. I hoped on a plane without a second thought to see my mother, but I couldn't do the same for the girl I was supposedly in love with. Fuck, the girl I was _still_ in love with.

Just after ten, I heard my father come into the house, so I went downstairs to greet him and find out how my mother was doing, eager for some sort of positive word on her situation.

"Hey Dad," I called out as I stepped on the final step of the stairs and found him walking into the kitchen.

"Hey. How was the drive back with Bella?" he asked as he reached into the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water before settling down on a kitchen chair. "She didn't push you out of the truck while she was barreling down the highway did she?"

"Meh, it was fine. Nothing special," I replied tensely as I sat down across from him and his eyes darted between my face and my hand, which now had a few random bruises on it from when I had hit Jacob outside of the flower shop.

"Nothing?" he asked as he lifted up my hand slowly and examined it to make sure it was actually alright. "I trust whoever got the other end of this looks worse than you. This doesn't have anything to do with Bella does it? Did your jealousy over Jacob get the best of you?"

"Okay, here's how it went down," I said with a small grin as I explained in detail to my father everything Bella and I had discussed and what went on with Jacob that afternoon. His expressions changed between surprise, anger, elation and back to surprise when I told him how I had dropped in at Bella's earlier that night. "I'm not sure where things stand with her, but I am going to try and talk to her again tomorrow."

"Wow…. Just wow. That is a lot of stuff that went on this afternoon Edward. I feel horrible for Bella most of all," he stated before he took a long sip of his water and then focused on me. "Where do you want things to stand with Bella?"

"I honestly have no idea dad. If I thought she would ever forgive me, I might be open to possibilities of us being together again, but I don't think she will exonerate me. What I did was pretty heinous in hindsight."

"At least you realize this Edward. Sure, it's pretty late in the game for you to come to your senses, but I tend to believe in 'better late than never'."

"I just think I need one small glimmer of hope, a sign from Bella that she doesn't hate my guts until the end of time, and things would fall into place. I have no reason right now to think that she has even thought about me over the past three and a half years," I admitted ruefully as my fingers twisted nervously into my hair. I couldn't fathom that Bella would want anything to do with me, but I had to be in a better position today than Jacob Black. Surely she didn't hate me as much as she did him right?

"There's always hope Edward," my father said genuinely as I switched the topic to my mother's recovery and he advised me that she was still in her coma, but they were expecting her to wake any time now. He came home desperate for some sleep and we walked up the stairs together discussing the possibility of long term recovery for my mother. My father was worried about the effects in the long run on her brain capacity, as well as if she would need physical therapy for her leg. I offered my help in any way he needed it before we said a quick goodnight and I headed off to bed. The moment my head hit my pillow, I was asleep.

The next morning, I woke up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I glanced at the clock and noticed it was just after nine in the morning, but I still felt so damned tired. Then again, staying up for almost 40 hours in a row would do that to a guy. I rolled onto my back and stared up at my ceiling, trying to think of ways to persuade Bella that I had changed, matured, and was not the same guy she dumped all those years ago.

There was just one fault with my thoughts; I lived in New Hampshire and Bella lived here. We both had vastly different lives now, with me going into my final year before medical school and Bella about to start work as a registered nurse. Sure, if I wanted something bad enough I could make anything happen, but was I willing to change everything for Bella, if she didn't want me?

I was pulled from my thoughts by the vibrating of my cell phone on my nightstand. When I grabbed it and looked at the screen, I let out a small groan. It was Siobhan.

"Morning," I said with a yawn as I heard her sigh on the other end of the phone.

"Did I wake you?"

"No, I got up a few minutes ago. How is life back east?"

"Boring without you here."

"Umm… I have no response to that, because you already know how I feel about our situation and I don't want to lead you on or lose a friend in the process."

"I didn't call you to start a fight over your inability to maintain or start a relationship with me Edward," breathed out Siobhan heavily as my stomach churned in frustration. "I wanted to know how your mother was doing."

"Well she's currently in an induced coma for her head trauma; her leg is broken and in a huge cast. There was some internal bleeding, but the doctors got everything taken care of apparently. We're waiting for her to wake up before the doctors can tell us more about her progress," I said sullenly as I sat up and rested my back against my headboard.

"I'm sorry Edward. I'm assuming you aren't coming back soon?" she asked tentatively as I closed my eyes and let out a deep sigh. I had to admit that I wasn't sure what the hell I was going to do. If my mother was going to require extensive rehabilitation, my gut told me I needed to stay around, maybe even defer my final year of college before medical school. However, these decisions were up in the air at the moment.

"I'm going to call and opt out of the internship I was granted this summer because I don't know when I will be ho… back in New Hampshire," I corrected casually as our call was filled with silence going forward. I had to correct myself because Forks was my home and New Hampshire was just where I was living these days. We said very little during the rest of the conversation, the awkward silences being more frequent than actual words. When we said goodbye, I could sense the finality in our conversation and knew it wasn't very likely I would be talking to Siobhan again. I thanked her for being a friend, but she simply scoffed and hung up on me. I was trying to be somewhat mature about the situation because my entire life really was in limbo until I knew what was going on with my mother.

I tossed my cell phone back onto my night stand and stood up, my body aching from not getting any decent sleep, and I ambled into the bathroom to take a shower. Before I stepped in, I looked at myself in the mirror and scrubbed my hands over my face . I looked like shit. Hell, even shit looked better than I did at that moment. I shook my head and went into the shower, letting the scalding hot water distract me from the fuckery that was my life. I had one girl back in New Hampshire who wanted nothing more than to be with me and the girl I wanted… well she probably didn't give a shit if she ever saw me again. What the hell was a guy to do?

When I got to the hospital, it was nearing eleven in the morning and I was frustrated with myself because I really hoped that I would have been there sooner. All my irritation at myself disappeared the moment I walked into my mother's room and found her sitting up in bed, seemingly watching CNN on the TV on the other side of the room.

"Mom, you are awake," I said rather loudly as she covered her hands over her ears, apparently not appreciative of my enthusiasm. "Sorry about that. It's just… you're awake. This is wonderful news."

"It's good to see you too honey," she rasped out as her nurse walked in right after me and began checking her vitals. I took a seat to the left of my mother's bed and waited as the nurse asked my mom a series of questions about how she was feeling.

"She hasn't been up too long, so please don't excite her too much," advised the nurse as I nodded my head silently and reached over to take my mom's hand in mine.

"You scared the hell out of us you know," I said genuinely as my mom just gave me a small tentative smile in response. "Dad, Bella, Sue and I have been here constantly since you were admitted. Sue feels like crap about everything and blames herself for the accident," I explained as my mother squeezed my hand tightly.

"Does this mean you've seen Bella?" she questioned quietly as I contemplated how to answer her question. I didn't want to get my mother's hopes up regarding a reconciliation between us, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit hopeful myself.

"Yeah. I saw her on Saturday night when I got here, then again on Sunday. She said she will be here later in the afternoon to see you. She mentioned something about her nursing exam and preparing for it."

"She's been really dedicated to her studies. She's going to start working at your father's practice soon, so that I can scale back a little bit," my mother explained, catching me slightly off guard. How was it that I wasn't aware of this? My father always talked about me taking over his practice when he planned to retire, even more so when I finally decided I would go to medical school, but I couldn't have Bella as my nurse if she couldn't stand me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied, as I felt even more flustered now that I knew my parents planned to have Bella take over my mother's position at their practice. "I'm just shocked you are awake. Does dad know?"

"Nurse Claire called him the moment I woke up. He was here for a little bit, but then ran to deal with a patient who was brought in for a heart attack," she said sullenly, clearly a little saddened that my father had to run, but I was sure she probably forced him to go and attend to his patient, because my mother was very selfless like that. I wished I could be a quarter as self-sacrificing as she was.

We sat and talked for a while about her accident, how she was feeling and ultimately how life was back in New Hampshire. I told her that now that I had been back in Forks for a few days, New Hampshire didn't hold the same appeal to me. However, I didn't mention that it was because of Bella that I was beginning to loathe my life back in Concord. I took a quick break for lunch around one in the afternoon, and when I came back, my mother was fast asleep and my father was at her side. It was almost four when Bella walked into the room, three coffees in her hands as she looked at all of us chatting happily before handing my father and me the extra drinks.

"No coffee for me?" my mother questioned with a small smile as Bella practically squealed with excitement to see my mother was awake.

"Oh my god Esme. I am so glad to see you," she gushed as she gave her a tentative hug, not wanting to cause her any pain. "You scared the hell out of all of us."

"My son said the same thing," Esme said as she darted her eyes between Bella and I, and then towards my father, rather suspiciously. Bella just quirked her eye brows at me, no doubt just as curious about the interaction between my parents, but she shook her head as she moved forward in the conversation. Esme began asking Bella about her preparation for her nursing exams and Bella was excitedly talking to her about everything when her phone rang in her pocket. "Is that Jake honey?"

"Actually yes. He's been trying to reach me since last night," Bella said as she looked over at me, her eyes filled with sadness. "We broke up yesterday afternoon."

"Oh, I'm so sorry Bella," declared my parents at the same time as I rolled my eyes and let out a small huff. The last thing anyone should be is upset over this situation. Bella should be relieved she didn't get more involved with that asshole than she already was.

"It's alright, really. It turns out that Jacob was anything but honest about our relationship and his intentions with me. It's for the best, really."

"Why does he keep calling you?" I asked quietly.

"I don't know Edward. I haven't answered the phone," she replied shakily as I opted to simply shut my mouth until the conversation died down between the four of us. I knew at that point I would try and convince Bella to go out to dinner, not coffee, with me so we could discuss our issues. I needed to clear the air with her before I could make a solid decision about my future.

Six o'clock rolled around and the nurses brought in dinner for my mother, and I caught Bella looking at me and nodding towards the door with her head demonstrating to me that she wanted to leave. I excused myself a few moments after Bella and promised my mother I would be back to see her in the morning before rushing out the door behind Bella after she had said her goodbye to my mother as well. Bella was standing by the bank of elevators waiting for me, clearly nervous.

"I'm a little hungry, would you mind if we had dinner instead of coffee?" she asked quietly as she pressed the down button and I breathed a sigh of relief. "I was so busy studying today I never thought about eating."

"Dinner sounds great," I replied, trying to sound casual and no doubt coming off like a nervous little fucker.

"Just dinner."

"And conversation right?"

"Yeah… just dinner and conversation, nothing else."

"Perfect, because we have a lot to talk about."

**BPOV**

All day my phone rang. Whether it was the one at the house, or my stupid ass cell phone, it was constantly ringing. Each time I looked, the call display revealed it was Jacob. I left the house to get away from it and ended up at the local Forks library, buried in some stacks at the back, as I tried to study. I even put my phone on vibrate, but by the time I got out of the library to head over to the Port Angeles Hospital to see Esme, I had 18 missed calls. Why the hell did he think he needed to talk to me? I would have thought the fact that I had slapped him and kicked him in the junk would have illustrated that I hated his guts and had nothing else to say to him.

I was beyond excited when I walked into Esme's room and found her awake. It was a relief to see that she was steadily improving and she even seemed in a decent mood until I mentioned that Jacob and I had split up. I didn't want to get into all the details, unsure if Edward had said anything to her in the hours he had been with her, so we just talked casually about the rest of our lives until my stomach started growling, reminding me that I hadn't eaten since breakfast.

Edward and I left the hospital together, agreeing to dinner and conversation, and we agreed to meet at a small Irish pub near the waterfront. When I pulled into the parking lot, Edward was already waiting for me and he was still somewhat a gentleman and he helped me from the car, holding the door open for me before escorting me in. However, the look on his face told me that even though we had agreed this was just dinner and talking, he saw it as more of a date. I had to squash that thought before he got in his over his head. There was no way I could consider a relationship with Edward right now.

"I don't drink much, but I think I need a beer tonight," declared Edward once we were seated at our booth, overlooking Port Angeles Harbor. Our waitress showed up a moment later and I ordered a sweetened tea as Edward ordered a Guinness. When she left, our booth was filled with uncomfortable silence as we both overlooked the menu, unsure of what to eat, and also reluctant to start a conversation, so nothing happened. When our waitress came back with our drinks, we both placed our orders, me for Shepherd's Pie with a salad and Edward ordered fish and chips with a Guinness Onion Soup to start. I quirked my eye brow at him, finding it interesting that he would order soup in the late May, but he just shrugged his shoulders and I let it pass, as our waitress left us again, clearly sensing the discomfort at our table.

After we both took long pulls from our drinks, I decided enough was enough. "Okay, let's talk."

"Sorry. I'm just nervous about what to say to you," Edward admitted as his fingers danced around the rim of his beer stein. "I said a lot of what I had wanted to say to you for the past three years yesterday in the truck, but I feel like it was rushed and that you were too focused on the situation with Jacob to really comprehend my apology."

"If you think I wasn't listening Edward, then try me again," I stated a little angry that Edward thought that I wasn't paying attention. Sure things had been rough yesterday afternoon, but I heard every word Edward said. It had been playing over and over in my mind as I tried to determine what to do about him and me.

"Even if I stood in front of you and said 'I'm sorry' for the next thirty years, I would never be able to show to you how remorseful I am about not coming to see you in the hospital. No matter what I say or do, I will always be the asshole who left you in your time of need, and it breaks my heart," he said. The last bit fell from his mouth quietly, but I knew exactly what he had said. "I regret leaving the note, more than you could ever know."

"It's funny Edward, because I would have loved to have gotten a love letter from you back then, before we split obviously," I said with a half smile as Edward looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights. "It may have been on my list to give or receive a love letter."

"Well shit, I wish I had known that before this entire mess happened," Edward said with a wink that, honest to god, took my breath away. How the hell did he still have this affect on me? His smile quickly downturned as he took another drink, gaining courage I figured, before he looked at me in the eyes. "Was I on the list? I know, it probably doesn't make a difference now, but it's kinda been bugging me for a while."

"No." Edward breathed a sigh of relief and I felt remorse course through my veins for the fact that he had actually worried all this time about being on my list. "I didn't say yes or no at the time, because I was so heartbroken that you didn't show up sooner, that I just wanted to push you away. It worked pretty well," I said as I shrugged my shoulders and Edward looked at me expectantly. "I'm also sorry I didn't tell you sooner about being sick. I should have been honest with you about my past, the situation with my mother and where I truly was in the fourth grade. I just wanted some semblance of a normal relationship with you and I felt if you knew, you would handle me with kid gloves. Does that even make sense?"

Edward nodded his head in response and let out a big breath I hadn't noticed he was holding. "If I accept your apology will you accept mine?" I shoved my fingers under the table and fiddled nervously with them as I contemplated his suggestion. Would it truly do me any harm at this point to forgive him? I wasn't exactly accepting a marriage proposal and now that Esme was doing better, he would surely be heading home in a few days anyways. We'd go back to our normal lives and everything would be fine right? Except, I would probably miss him after seeing him for these past few days, even though we weren't best friends, I certainly didn't harbor as much hate towards him as I once did.

"Life is too short to hold grudges and be hateful Edward, so sure, I'll forgive you," I said simply as our waitress arrived a moment later clutching my garden salad and Edward's soup. She laid them in front of us and when I looked up at Edward, he honestly looked two years younger in an instant. It surprised me just how much his need for my forgiveness was weighing on him.

"So can we start over then?"

"You're going back to New Hampshire Edward, what would be the point of starting over? We can try to be friends though. You can Facebook me if you want," I said with a laugh as I grabbed a fork full of salad and shoved it in my mouth eagerly. My stomach was empty and I was desperate for any sort of food at that point. I would have been happy if Edward had suggested we head to Taco Bell.

"What if I didn't go back?"

"Are you shitting me? Why wouldn't you go back to New Hampshire? It's been your dream since before I dated you to go to Dartmouth and get out of Forks. I won't be your reason for staying Edward," I said emphatically as he lowered his head to his soup and took a big spoonful of it. He remained silent for a little bit, enjoying his soup as I slowly had some salad, curious as to what was going through his brain.

"What if this was what I wanted? Regardless of whether I was staying for you or not?"

"I want you to do what you want to do. I don't want you to do anything based on what I want. Can you answer something for me quickly?"

"Of course."

"Did you read my journal last night when you were at Charlie's and I went to get a drink?"

"Have you been worrying about that, because no I didn't. It was open on the table, but I didn't know what it was. I may not be the best guy out there, but I wouldn't read someone's private journal."

"I'm sorry if I sounded accusing or something."

"It's fine. Let's just talk about something else," Edward said abruptly, taking another spoonful of soup, and I thought of something that had bothered me since the day before.

"Okay. Who called you yesterday when you didn't answer it? A girlfriend?" I questioned as Edward choked on his soup and then gave me an awkward and half hearted smile.

"Yeah, there's no girlfriend back in New Hampshire," he laughed nervously. "You were the first and last official girlfriend of Edward Cullen."

"Took a vow of celibacy did you Monk Edward?" I laughed easily.

"Not exactly."

"Oh," I added, my heart aching slightly as he basically confirmed that while he didn't have a girlfriend, he was clearly getting laid.

"It's not as bad as it sounds. I had someone, a friend, who was basically in the same boat as me… in love with someone who they couldn't be with, and we had an agreement."

"An agreement? Did you sign a contract that was reviewed by a lawyer?" I questioned as Edward shook his head sullenly. "Explain it to me… if you were so in love with someone else, how did you have sex with this apparent friend? I didn't go sleeping around."

"Were you still in love with me?"

"Of course I was fucking in love with you," I stammered angrily before I covered my mouth, catching myself off guard because I hadn't meant to say that. However, in the heat of the moment I couldn't stop it. Edward smiled slightly before taking a big sip of his drink and turning his attention back towards me, his soup now long forgotten.

"Bella, when you and I broke up, I was beyond devastated. I barely made it through each day as I went to school, shut out my friends and just survived in Forks until I headed to Dartmouth. Heidi was nothing more than a distraction for me as I contemplated how the hell I was going to put my heart and my life back together," Edward explained as I hung onto his every word, hoping to get an answer that would make this less frustrating to me. "I was never in love with her; she was just a means to an end. She helped me scratch an itch basically. I know it's a bad analogy and it probably puts me in a bad light, but it's true. She knew what it was like to be in my shoes and she helped me come to terms with everything."

"Was she the one who called?"

"No."

"Who called?"

"A girl I had met a few weeks ago. Once again, not a girlfriend, but rather a friend… who happens to be a girl. When my dad called me to let me know about my mom, I was actually having breakfast with her and trying to explain to her that even though she was a great friend, I wasn't interested in dating her," Edward replied stoically as I bobbed my head in response, unsure of what to say to him. I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed in him, but how could I truly fault him for trying to move on? I tried, but it took me years to get to that point, and I ended up with the fucked up situation that was my relationship with Jacob.

"If I thought there was any way you would have taken me back, I wouldn't have done anything. I would have waited for you," Edward said firmly as our waitress came back with our dinners and took away our salad and soup bowls, both of which were only half eaten.

We started eating our meals in silence, as we both seemed unsure how to move on. I managed to break the tension when I mentioned that Alice and Jasper would be in town the following weekend, and suggested that if Edward was still around, that he should get together with us. "I actually haven't talked to Jasper or Emmett much in the past few years."

"I'm sorry to hear that," I admitted, unaware that Edward had grown apart from his best friends. I knew people often grew distant when they went off to college and what not, but I never expected it with Emmett, Jasper and Edward. I thought they would always be as close as Alice, Rosalie and me. "Perhaps this upcoming weekend would be a chance to repair your relationship with them?" I questioned as I took a fairly large bite of my Shepherd's Pie.

"And how do I get the chance to repair my relationship with you Bella?"

"Edward…" I began to say until I felt his hand resting on top of mine, effectively silencing me. The shock to my system that rolled over me as I felt his gentle hand sitting on top of mine had truly rendered me speechless.

I didn't know what to say.

**A/N: I've said it before and I will say it again… go read Unraveled Knot by Twisted Coincidence. Then go read First Edition by lambcullen and make it a hat trick and go check out the new one by GreenEyedGirl17 called Silver Strand Nights. They are all listed under my favorites. Then… take a nap, you deserve it.**


	31. My Sign of Hope

**A/N: It's a sign of the apocalypse folks… Flightlessbird11 has come back from her wussperv hiatus and has read all the chapters that she missed from her self-imposed break. So if you were also on a break and had been checking my A/N's for signs that it was okay to return… this is your sign people! Well, this and the chapter title.**

**Thanks as per usual to my girls Risbee, BeeGurl13, TwiOthGirly & Tilly Whitlock for pre-reading and MaggieMay14 for her wonderful beta job.**

**Let's just cut to the chase shall we?**

**I don't own Twilight; I am easily distracted.**

**BPOV**

For the next week, Edward and I saw each other on and off during our visits to the hospital to check on Esme, but we rarely talked in depth about anything other than her recovery. Esme was continually attempting to get us to talk about anything and everything, but I wouldn't budge, so neither would Edward. I knew without a doubt that I was being stubborn, but he couldn't really expect me to forget the past few years like it was water under the bridge, could he?

The last time I had seen him was when we went to dinner in Port Angeles and I couldn't find it in myself to answer his question.

"_And how do I get the chance to repair my relationship with you Bella?"_

Those words had haunted me ever since because I didn't know what to say to him. I simply shrugged my shoulders and asked him for time to think about everything that had happened between us. One thing that made me most hesitant about everything was that I couldn't understand why Edward could be so eager to uproot his life and come back here… for me.

When Alice phoned me on Friday afternoon while I was studying for my nursing exam, she was eager to get together when she and Jasper got into town that night. I wanted to talk to her about the situation with Edward and let her know that he was in town, but I figured that doing it over the phone wasn't the best option. We agreed to meet at the diner around seven that night after they had dropped their stuff off at Jasper's parents' house, where they would be staying for the next two nights.

When I finally got to the diner that night, I wasn't surprised to find them already waiting for me, the two of them nestled into a booth and chatting happily about nothing in particular. "Any room for me?" I asked as Alice bounced out of her seat and pulled me into a huge hug.

"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes. You look tired. Have you been sleeping alright? How do you feel?" Alice peppered me with questions immediately and I rolled my eyes at the interrogation. Ever since they had gone off to college, Alice had become my protector of sorts. She was always calling me to make sure I had been taking my meds when she had first left for university and asking how my remission was going, but these days she would pester me about what I was eating and that Jake was treating me alright. Of course, I hadn't told her or Jasper about Jake yet either.

"I'm fine. I've been studying hard for my nursing exam in between visits to Esme at the hospital," I admitted as Alice's eyes immediately went from concern over me to sadness over Esme. I slid onto the bench in front of my friends and watched with envy as their fingers locked together and I finally saw Alice's engagement ring. Lord knows it took Jazz long enough to propose, I thought to myself. "The ring is beautiful Alice. Have I congratulated you guys enough yet? I know I sent a gift and told you like twenty times on the phone, but I feel like it's not enough to celebrate the start of your new life together."

"You've done more than enough Bella. You've always been supportive of us when other people haven't and we love you all the more for it," Alice explained with a sweet smile as our waitress came over and took our drink order. I couldn't help but notice that Jasper was looking around the diner expectantly.

"Are we being graced with the presence of your boyfriend tonight?" he questioned as I let out a breath I didn't realize I had been holding.

"What boyfriend?" I replied casually as I shrugged my shoulders and did my best to make everything seem very casual. I wasn't in the mood to tell Alice all about the scene in front of the flower shop, how I found out Jacob was cheating and Edward's involvement in everything. I wasn't quite there yet. "Jake and I aren't together anymore."

"Oh thank the lord, our prayers have been answered Jasper," yelled Alice excitedly as she threw her hands up in the air in celebration, while Jasper and I just laughed at her dramatics. "When did this happen? Please tell me you dumped him because even though we pretended to like him, you were way too good for him Bells."

"Yes, I dumped him Alice. It happened on Sunday and I'd rather not get into all the details right now. I thought we were here to celebrate, not listen to the drama that has been my life for the past week." Just then, as though the gods were laughing at me, in walked Edward with Carlisle flanking his side. They headed up to the counter, clearly picking up an order to go, but Alice noticed that I was watching him, albeit momentarily and a smug grin immediately crossed her face.

"Is that Edward?"

"I guess so," I replied as Jasper's head turned around and he stood from his seat beside Alice and headed to the counter.

"Did you know he was back in town?" she questioned, while staring at me. "You did know, you little sneak. Have you seen him? Did he apologize to you for being a jackass of epic proportions? Can you give me some gossip at all?" I sighed quietly and we both watched as Jasper and Edward shared an awkward half hug thing that all guys do and then they continued talking, clearly catching up a little bit. Alice tapped her fingers against the table top and I decided to just give it all up to her, because she was a devious little sprite and would no doubt get it from me anyways.

"I saw him at the hospital the other day when he came to town to see Esme," I admitted as Alice's eyes grew wide in surprise. "We have talked a few times, and yes he apologized. In fact, we both apologized, but that has been the extent of it. I actually suggested to him that he try to get in touch with you and Jazz while you were in town for the weekend, but he clearly didn't heed my suggestion since you guys are obviously shocked to see him here."

"He may have talked to Jazz, but based on his facial expression, I would say he is surprised as hell to see him. Did you know they rarely talked for the past few years? Via email and shit like that, but nothing like the friendship they had before…" Alice stopped mid sentence and I looked at her with a bit of remorse.

"I know it's been nothing like the friendship they had before I got sick and Edward got scared. Ever since Edward told me that he wasn't on the best terms with Jazz and Em, I've felt remorseful, like it was my fault that they stopped being friends. I didn't think my being sick would make them pick sides in the whole Edward and me breakup situation," I admitted tentatively as Alice reached across the table and grasped my hand in hers.

"Don't feel bad. Edward made his bed and he has had to live in it Bella."

"Yeah, but what if he is trying to get out of his bed? Perhaps he's tired of living the way he has been and wants a change?"

"Did he say that?"

"I went to dinner with him the other night and he asked how he could fix our relationship. Of course, this was all after he told me that he should never have left me while I was sick and then told me he had girls back at Dartmouth that he fucked on a regular basis." My voice bristled with anger as those final words fell from my mouth. I couldn't help but be angry at him for not waiting for me, since he claimed he loved me, but this was completely unreasonable of me and I knew it. I pushed him away when he made an attempt to reunite with me, so how could I blame him for everything?

"So you won't let him back into your life because he tried to move on? Didn't you try the same thing?" Alice questioned as I looked back at up at the men talking by the counter and watched as Carlisle handed the server his credit card to pay for everything.

"I never slept with Jacob or anyone else for that matter."

"Then maybe you never truly moved on," Alice stated firmly as I turned away from the scene at the front of the diner and looked at Alice. "You still love him, but because he broke your heart and literally crushed it into fine gravel, you don't want to take a risk again huh?"

"Would you risk it if you were in my shoes?"

"Without a doubt. Nothing worth having in life ever comes easily Bella. Look at Jasper at me… we have been struggling financially until he got his job with the Seattle Fire Department. We had our pregnancy scare early last year and then the health issue with his father, but we made it through everything and are much stronger for it," she explained, making each hurdle in her life sound so simple. "I love Jasper enough to know we can get through everything as long as we are together."

"You have always been an optimist," I replied as Alice smiled happily at me and out of the corner of my eye I saw Jasper come back to the table, but he was not alone; Edward was with him.

"The glass is always half full Bella," she declared as Jasper slid in beside her and held his hand out to the seat across from him, in other words, right beside me. "It's nice to see you again Edward. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's accident."

"Thanks Alice. You look wonderful. Congrats on the engagement and all that," Edward replied as he looked at me nervously and I noticed his fingers fidgeting in his lap under the table. "My dad is making a food run for my mother; apparently she's a wee bit eager for a burger from here now that she is able to eat something other than hospital food. I hope you don't mind that Jasper asked me to join you."

"Not at all," Alice replied pleasantly as she kicked me under the table when I had grumbled my own response under my breath. I had done a great job of keeping my distance from Edward these past few days, but sitting beside him now, sensing his anxiety and breathing in his scent, the walls that I had spent years building to protect myself from heartbreak where beginning to crumble. Alice knew this too, because as I buried my head in the menu to ignore the conversation around me, she kicked me again under the table and I had to kick her back.

My cell phone began ringing and when I looked at the display, I saw that it was Jacob again. "Is that him again?" Edward asked sullenly. It seemed like every time I was around Edward during the week at the hospital my cell phone had rang. I had usually turned my phone off and said a quick apology, but I knew every time it happened that Edward was frustrated and confused as to why Jacob was calling.

"Yeah."

"Did he say what he wanted?"

"Perhaps if I ever answered the damn phone, I would know. However, Jacob clearly doesn't understand how a break up works and is one persistent fuck," I stated simply, my voice radiating anger, as Jasper and Alice looked at me as though they were left out of the conversation. "Jake has been calling me repeatedly since we broke up. I'm not answering the phone because I don't want to talk to him. It's not like there was anything he could say to change the situation."

"Yeah, you don't get caught dipping your pen in someone else's ink and get away with it right?" commented Edward as Alice's eyes grew wide.

"Jacob was cheating on you?" Jasper asked incredulously, clearly voicing exactly what Alice was thinking. I just nodded my head and watched as Jasper gripped his menu tightly. "I'll fuck kill him. What an asshole."

"Edward already got a few punches in, if that makes you feel any better Jazz."

"Well, you did a good job of slapping and kneeing him in the jewels. It was pretty classic," Edward added as Jazz and Ali looked at us in shock. "I guess I should explain that OI was there with Bella when she caught Jake boning the girl from the flower shop down on Main."

"Jake was cheating with Nessie? Holy fuck, I talked to her last week about flowers for the wedding and she was so sweet and nice. What the hell?" Alice shouted angrily. "Well, they won't be getting our business. I'll find someone in Port Angeles to do it now. By the way hon, why don't you change your cell phone number?"

"I'm sure he'll give up soon enough. Anyways, I've had this number for like three years and I've finally memorized the damn thing. I'm not changing it."

"You are so stubborn Bella."

"So, have you two picked a date yet?" Edward asked as he attempted to change the conversation from Jacob and after he gave his drink order to our waitress, who was eyeing him up like a piece of filet mignon. I rolled my eyes at their exchange and I could feel jealously boiling under my skin, which was an irrational feeling. I had pushed him away, so why the hell did it have to be this difficult? Edward just needed to go back to New Hampshire so my life could go back to normal.

"We're thinking next summer, maybe late June or something. Definitely once Alice's graduation ceremony is over and done with. We're gonna do it here in Forks, something simple I think, right Ali?" Jasper asked as Alice smiled brightly at him and I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed and a little envious that she had found her other half. I took a quick glance over at Edward, but when I saw he was looking towards me, I immediately looked away.

"Yeah. I was thinking about holding it in my parents' backyard, but it's not that big and you know me, it might be simply but I need to invite most of the town," she said with a genuine laugh as Jasper wrapped his arm over her shoulder and I noticed Edward was now staring awkwardly at his menu. Our waitress appeared a few seconds later and we all placed our orders as the silence grew uneasily between us all. Alice, of course, took it upon herself to break the tension. "So… since Bella and Jake broke up, are you going to try and pick up the pieces?" she asked Edward bluntly as I wished I was sitting behind her so I could smack her on the back of the head.

"Alice…" I chastised her as Edward just looked at her like a deer caught in the headlights.

"What? It's a perfectly suitable question. After all, it does look like he's planning to stay around in town for a little bit, right?"

"I'm considering all my options," Edward admitted cryptically as a sly grin grew across Alice's face.

"Does Bella figure into any of those options?" she asked as I kicked her underneath the table again and she screamed out in pain. "Stop fucking kicking me. If you keep this up, my shins will be bruised for the wedding and it's over a year away."

"Well, stop being such a prying, meddlesome bitch and keep your nose out of other people's business, and I won't need to kick you," I replied back boldly as Alice smiled even more at me, and I knew I was in for it. However, I was caught off guard when Edward spoke instead of Alice.

"I think you need to ask Bella if she wants to figure into my options," Edward said with a small yet nervous laugh as I watched Jasper throw back his head and chuckle.

"This is like watching one of those Jerry Springer outtakes. Is someone gonna come up on stage and claim to be your baby mama?" asked Jasper casually as Edward grew nervous again.

"Well it is possible considering the amount of women he has slept with in the past few years," I retorted as Edward ran his fingers along the back of his head, threading it through the hair that rested there anxiously and Jasper looked at him apologetically.

"Okay, new topic," said Jasper, trying to help Edward save face somewhat.

"What's wrong with discussing our sex lives?" I questioned angrily. I didn't want to avoid this topic like I had avoided it at dinner the other night. If Edward wanted me back, he needed to be honest with both of us and there was no time like the present. "I mean, you guys are clearly having sex," I said as I motioned towards Jasper and Alice who were both blushing like crazy. "We all know I'm not having sex and I haven't had any since this jerk sitting beside me. It's only fair we know just how many girls Edward slept with, don't you think?"

"No, I don't think Bella," replied Edward caustically as I shut my eyes for a moment and took in a deep breath before finally getting some things off my chest.

"That's right… you don't think, do you? You never once thought about how I felt when you disappeared from my life for three fucking years. You clearly didn't think about how I would feel when I found out you were taking advantage of every willing female that came along in New Hampshire, and you never once thought how I would feel about having you back in town now. Why can't you just go back to school?" I yelled out as half of the people in the diner turned around to watch us while we argued.

"I talked to you about this the other night and told you flat out I had slept with other girls, but it was not the sheer volume of girls you seemed to think it was," he snapped angrily and I noticed that the vein in his neck was pulsing, showing he was livid with me. "I explained to you about Heidi and there was like three or four others. That is nothing in three years Bella. So, you can sit there and judge me all you want for how I tried to get over you, but I could do the same. At least I fucking tried to move on, you just gave up."

My mouth dropped open as I watched Edward shuffle off the bench and stand up, extending his hand out to Jasper. "Thanks for the invite man, but I think I'm gonna go now. Call me in the morning and we'll get together before you head back into the city." Jasper just nodded his head in response as Edward looked over at Alice briefly. "Take care of him… and yourself."

He didn't even acknowledge me as he walked out and I watched him stroll down the street, his hands in his pockets and his head down. "Are you happy with yourself?" asked Alice shamelessly as our meals came to the table, along with Edward's, which was going to sit uneaten.

"Not really."

**EPOV**

When I walked in the door of my parent's place, I felt like shit and I was hungry as hell. When I left the diner, I got in the rental car and drove around aimlessly for what felt like hours as I tried to figure out where I had gone wrong with her since I had gotten back. I had apologized over and over again, yet she still treated me like something she scraped off the bottom of her shoe.

I made myself a quick peanut butter and jelly sandwich, in order to placate the hunger that was coursing through my body, and then headed up to my room to go to bed. It had been a long day and I really didn't want to relive it anytime soon. In fact, the more I thought about what Bella had said to me, the more I realized she was right. I needed to go back to school and finish what I had started. It was doing nothing but slowly killing me to be here with her, but not _with her._

When I came to the conclusion that sleep wouldn't come easily, I lifted myself up and headed into the bathroom for a hot shower, hoping to get rid of some of the tension from the day. When I stepped out, I had two messages waiting for me, one from my father and another from Jasper. My dad's message was to let me know that my mother was doing well and was looking forward to getting home the following week and Jasper's message suggested we get together for breakfast since Alice was going out with Bella. I texted him back quickly that breakfast sounded like a good plan and then I crawled back into bed and tried to let sleep take me. However, it was uneasy and restless at best.

The next morning, after getting dressed and making myself a cup of coffee with the pot my father had prepared this morning, I was shocked when the doorbell rang and I found Alice on the other side, smiling happily like she always did.

"Well, this is an unexpected surprise," I said as she pushed her way past me into the living room and began looking around. Alice hadn't really changed much physically since the last time I saw her at our high school graduation, but she was not the same girl she once was. She had obviously matured in the past few years and it was suiting her. I was actually a little envious of how put together Alice seemed.

"Your mother has good taste," she said simply as I looked at her in confusion. "That's beside the point. I didn't come here to compliment your mother's decorating style. I came to talk to you." I motioned towards the couch in the living room and Alice promptly walked forward and sat down, crossing one leg over the other as it began bouncing uncontrollably.

"I'm guessing you don't need a coffee huh?" I said as I muffled a laugh and Alice narrowed her eyes at me. "I'll take that death stare as a no. So what are you doing here Alice?"

"I don't think you should give up on Bella," she stated boldly as I choked on my drink and Alice just continued on like nothing had happened. "Yesterday at the diner was the most emotion and life I have seen in Bella since you guys broke up. I know it feels hopeless right now, especially after her outburst yesterday, but I think you should have a bit of faith."

"Hopeless is an understatement Alice. I know I'm not an angel and I am at fault for most of the shit has gone down, but I don't see the point of trying for no reason."

"If I told you she felt like shit for what she said yesterday would that make you reconsider?"

"Did she say she felt remorseful?" I questioned as Alice looked around the room again, surveying a painting my mother had hanging in the room, effectively ignoring my question. "Yeah, I didn't think she said that."

"She didn't need to Edward. I'm her best friend, I can just tell. Jacob never challenged her, he placated her and made her feel wanted, but that was it. He was never in love with her the same way you love her and before you say anything, I know you still love her. Even if you aren't willing to admit it," Alice said cheerfully as I rolled my eyes and wondered how she always knew what I was thinking.

"Alice, if you are getting my hopes up for nothing, I will hunt you down," I said, my voice cracking slightly because I really did want to believe her.

"Take this," she said as she pushed a crumpled up piece of paper into my hand and then stood up to leave. "Follow that and I'm certain she'll be yours again. Now, I have to go meet Bella so we can go into Port Angeles to see your mom and then go shopping. You go have your breakfast with Jazz and try to enjoy yourself. I know you have matured Edward, but do you need to take yourself so seriously?"

Alice opened up her arms and I gave her a gentle hug and walked her towards the door. "Are you sure this will work?"

"Positive, and if it doesn't I'll force Bella to see the truth, which is that you two are a hundred times better together than you are apart. So, start thinking about your options," she laughed as I opened the door and she danced down the front steps to her car. I leaned against the door jamb and watched as Alice drove away, before grabbing my keys to the rental off the front table and following her out the door. I needed to get Jasper's take on all of this before I did anything I might regret.

I met him at a coffee shop downtown, although everything was technically in downtown Forks. I found him sitting down at a table with a large coffee and a muffin and I waved to him quickly as I stood in line and ordered a coffee and a cinnamon bun. When I sat down, Jasper quirked his eye brow at me before speaking. "You look like you got a lobotomy overnight. I expected a rather sullen Cullen to walk in here this morning."

"Your future wife came to see me," I said with a laugh as Jasper looked at me with even more curiosity. "She told me not to give up on Bella."

"And are you going to?"

"I'm not sure," I admitted honestly. "She gave me this list and basically wished me luck, but I haven't had a chance to figure out what the hell to do about it." I offered Jasper the piece of paper and he looked at it disbelievingly.

"Is this what I think it is?"

"Yup. I must admit, I'm relieved to see that I am definitely not on the list," I said genuinely as Jasper offered me the paper again and I scanned through it. "I'm assuming Alice wants me to do these things, but I'm not sure if I should. I mean… she handed me Bella's fucking bucket list and now I'm supposed to do this shit?" I questioned in frustration as I tossed the paper down on the table between us and it sat there like a huge shining beacon. Every time I took my eyes from Jasper, I found myself staring at the paper.

"You're hesitant about doing it?"

"I feel like if I did any of it, I would be breaking Bella's trust actually. She doesn't know I have this list and how do you think she would feel if she did?"

"Probably betrayed. That's how I would feel if I was in her shoes."

"Me too."

"So… what are you going to do?" I watched as Jasper took a bite of his muffin and I took a sip of my coffee, as he waited for my response and my mind contemplated everything I could potentially do. "If I was you, what do you really have to lose? I mean, you've already lost her. I would try every avenue available to me if it was Alice." I nodded in response to Jasper and then thanked him for his help before we launched into a long conversation and separate apologies about the way our friendship stalled.

It was nice to reconnect with him and I found out that he didn't blame me for what had happened between Bella and me. He was the one who put it into the best perspective, explaining that Bella and I were just stubborn kids who were ruled by our hearts, not our brains. I appreciated his support and understanding more than he would ever know, even though I did my best to explain this to him.

As we were finishing up our breakfast, Jasper let me know that Emmett and Rosalie were due back from college in a few weeks to visit with their families. He and Alice we coming back for a long weekend at that point and suggested I get on better terms with Bella before they came to town, if I stayed in town at all. I thanked him for his help and gave him an awkward hug before I got into my rental car and headed down to the Home Depot in Port Angeles, still in shock over what I was about to do.

Three hours later I found myself sitting in Bella's driveway, my car filled with supplies for my first mission as I stared at the police cruiser in front of me. Charlie was home and I knew I needed to talk to him about this, but I wasn't sure how to go about it, until he opened his front door and started walking down his steps towards me and I hopped out of my car.

"Edward. I'm surprised to see you here," Charlie said as he stalked towards me, his posture slightly defiant.

"I'm a little surprised to be here Chief," I admitted honestly. "I wanted to do something for Bella, but this would basically involve the destruction of your property and I am not sure you would approve of that." Charlie looked at me curiously, as though I was speaking in tongues and I spent the next few minutes laying out my plan to him in detail, hoping he would agree and just let me do what I wanted to do.

"I must admit, it's a bold plan Edward. However, I can't help but wonder why the hell you go to all of this effort just to up and leave in a few weeks?"

"Chief, I'll be honest with you. I'm not sure if I am going to leave to go back to school or not. If I had any sign of hope from Bella that she was even remotely interested in me, I'd probably give it all up," I admitted honestly as the Chief shook his head lightly from side to side in disappointment.

"Do you really think that is the best idea?"

"Well Sir, it's not like my plans three years ago were the best either, but I have to try right? I'm in love with your daughter; I just want the chance to show her."

"Well, get to it. Stick to the right of the yard and there are shovels in the back shed if you need them. Although based on the supplies in the back seat of your car, I think you're going to be fine." I thanked the Chief happily and unloaded all of my supplies into her yard before moving the rental car down the road in case she came home from her shopping trip with Alice while I was in the middle of my plans.

Four hours later, I stood in the Chief's backyard and felt rather smug about my efforts. The sun was fading to the west and I was absolutely filthy, so I ran to my car and headed back to my parents to get showered. I called Jasper to let him know what I had done and he promised to have Alice call me when she got home, so that I knew when Bella would be back at her father's place. It was almost eight by the time I got a call from Alice, who seemed more than ecstatic that I was doing something… anything.

My father arrived home just as I was walking out the door and he gave me an update on my mother, since this had been the first day I hadn't gone to see my her. I had called her when I got home from Bella's earlier in the day and she was understanding and supportive for my reasons for not going to see her. As soon as Carlisle and I finished catching up, I sprinted out the door and drove to Bella's house, the excitement pouring off of me.

I pulled the car to a stop a few houses down the road from her father's place and then practically stalked through the dark across the yards, my nerves getting the best of me as I stood at the bottom of her oak tree and looked up at the lights in her bedroom. At least I knew she was home, I thought hopefully as I grabbed the first branch and pulled myself up. When I was sitting on the large branch, I glanced out to her backyard, saw the efforts of my handiwork and prayed that this was not for naught.

I awkwardly moved my body along the thick branch until I was able to reach her window ledge and I pushed it open as I crawled into her room through her window, landing awkwardly on her hardwood floor. I had a flashback to the first time I had done this the night of our senior homecoming dance and when I looked up, Bella was dressed in a very see through bra and panties and was clutching a baseball bat again, her face furious as she glared at me.

"You are a mother fucking idiot," she cursed under her breath as I reached for the bat and she back away, holding it tightly over her head.

"So I've been told."

"What the hell are you doing here?" she questioned as I eyed her up slowly, taking in the soft curves of her body that had only improved in time. She was gorgeous, but I truly had no doubt about that before.

"I need to show you something."

"It better be your ass as you crawl back out my damned window Edward. This isn't funny anymore," she said as she tried to hold back her voice. "I asked for some time to think about things."

"Just get dressed and meet me outside alright? I just want to show you something. Oh and a grab a flashlight. You can beat me with it if you are upset afterwards." Bella's eyes grew wide as she glanced down and realized she was only partially dressed and what she did have on really wasn't hiding anything. I climbed back out her window as I listened to her curse as she stepped into her living room, and I breathed a sigh of relief as I jumped back onto the ground and waited for her.

It took less than two minutes, but when Bella met me at the base of the tree, I couldn't help but notice she was wearing one of my old sweatshirts. "You still have that?"

"It's comfortable," Bella replied as my brain began its own happy dance at the fact that she still had my old shirt. I had thought I had lost it, but I was pleased to know she still had it. I was about to make another comment when Bella spoke instead. "So what did you want to show me?"

"Follow me."

Bella let out a long sigh, but she turned on the flashlight and lit up the ground as she began to follow me into the backyard. "This would have been better during the daylight, but I think it's important, regardless what time of day it happens at."

"What the hell are you talking about? I seriously think in the past few years you have become the most cryptic person I have ever met." I slowed in front of my hard work and watched the light on ground raise as Bella lit up the area where I had worked all afternoon. When I looked over at her, the moon was shining on her face, illustrating that her mouth was hung open in surprise.

"Do you like it?" I asked nervously, as she moved quickly, the light from her flashlight illuminating my face and catching me off guard.

"You planted me a garden."

"Yeah… didn't you always want a garden?"

"You… you planted me a garden? Where did you learn to garden?"

"You would be surprised what the associates at Home Depot know. There are only a few flowers around it like marigolds and stuff, but there are cucumbers, tomatoes, basil and peppers too. Gavin, the guy at Home Depot told me that they grew best in Washington soil this time of year, so I trusted him."

"You planted me a garden?"

"You already said that," I replied with a nervous laugh. It sucked that it was dark out because I couldn't gauge Bella's reaction and that made me even more anxious.

"I'm in shock. I was a complete and utter bitch to you just 24 hours ago and you had to go and do something really sweet for me. I'm sorry about that by the way. I know you explained the situation to me and I know you were just trying to move on. I'm sorry… but why would you do this?"

"Cause I want to prove to you that I would do anything for you. I'm trying here Bella. Please tell me there is some hope?"

Bella's fingers twirled nervously with each other and my heart sunk into my chest. This was not going the way I had hoped at all. Then again, my thoughts that she would simply wrap her arms around my neck and hold me to her as she whispered that she still loved me were a bit farfetched. However, when Bella finally spoke, my heart literally jumped out of my chest.

"There's always hope Edward," Bella said softly as she looked up from the ground to focus on my eyes.

Without thinking about it, I moved towards Bella and grabbed her face in my hands as I kissed her with all the passion I could muster. I had thought about this moment for so long and it was nothing like I expected, it was a hundred times better. I was fully expecting a slap, a knee to the groin or something, but my heart soared as I felt Bella's hands wrap around my neck and pull me closer to her and I realized that she was right; there was hope.


	32. My Graduation

**A/N: So I meant to update this yesterday for the Reader Appreciation Day, but then I caught some twelve hour bug thingy and ended up sleeping my afternoon away, I even passed out while watching Twilight, so you KNOW I was sick. So this is my little 'I love you' to my fuckawesome readers, who have somehow managed to make this story one of the hundred most reviewed stories on . Still shocked by that, even if I am like 90 something. LOL**

**Big shouts out to my fuckawesome beta MaggieMay14 and my besties Risbee, Flightlessbird11, and Beegurl13. I 3 you guys so effin hard it's not even funny. TillyWhitlock and TwiOthGirly, thanks for being such awesome and supportive pre-readers. To forgetthesong, I know you are eagerly awaiting this chapter hon, I hope it doesn't disappoint you.**

**If you haven't swung by P.I.C's fan fic corner lately, you'll be surprised to know I have a little threesome one shot involving a train on there, written for the lovely Risbee for her birthday on Saturday. Drop by and take a read, and then show my girl Risbee some birthday loving. The link to the blog is on my profile.**

**Any questions from the peanut gallery? No. Good. Let's get to it shall we? I don't own Twilight; I did just download a hell of a lot of Ray Lamontange from iTunes though and I suggest you do the same. **

**BPOV**

I straightened out my cheesy polyester gown as I remained seated between Catherine Samson and Michelle Taylor, two of my classmates in our graduating class at Peninsula College. We were all talking casually about our upcoming state nursing exams, our families who had come to visit us and finding work. Out of my entire class, I was the only one who was assured a steady job once I had my license, but the more I thought about it, the less I wanted to take the job in Dr. Cullen's office. Sure, it would be a great opportunity for me but did I want to work in an office, within the house, that reminded me completely of my ex boyfriend? Not really.

I had arrived about an hour before the ceremony was supposed to start, by myself. Charlie was heading down to La Push to pick up Sue, Seth and Leah to bring them along with him for the ceremony. I figured it was just a matter of time before Charlie proposed to her, but when I casually mentioned it to him one day, he skirted the issue and mumbled something about other plans. I knew it was something that he wanted and was on his mind though. Especially after I dropped the hint to him about moving out after I had been working for a little bit.

As I looked around the crowd from my seat, I saw Charlie and Sue standing by a large tree near the back of the lawn where the seats were set up for parents and guests. Imagine my fucking surprise to see Edward standing beside them talking animatedly, as though they were best friends. This was getting on my nerves. After all, it had been two weeks since our kiss in my backyard and I had heard virtually nothing from Edward afterwards. I came back from the library one day to find him watering the garden he had planted, but then he said he had to run and pick up groceries because Esme was coming home from the hospital. More and more I was beginning to wonder what the hell was going on with him and why the hell he was still in town. Even when I went to visit Esme when she was released, she didn't have much insight to share with me, claiming that he was trying to give me space, but I just thought that was bullshit.

"Jesus, have you seen that guy at the back there?" asked Catherine in her all too high voice. She was one of those girls who was perpetually on the prowl for a man, but never seemed to have one, which made me laugh slightly. _Gee, I wonder why,_ I thought to myself as I followed the line of her finger and saw that she was pointing directly at Edward.

"I hope you don't mean the older one. Well, you can have him if I get that fuckhot looking guy he's talking to. Fuck, look at his shoulders and his jaw… I mean… Jesus," added Michelle as I just rolled my eyes and turned around in my seat, not wanting to have Edward see me. "Does my hair look alright? I think I might run back there and say hi when he's done talking."

"Hold on a second. I saw him first," stated Catherine fiercely as she tried to stake her claim and I giggled a little too loudly and both girls looked and me like I was on fire or something.

"I'm sorry for laughing. Please continue," I said with a flick of my hand as both girls grew quiet. "Are you guys gonna continue oogling him or not?"

"I'm not oogling him," replied Catherine defiantly. "I'm wondering what he's like in the sack. He looks like he has long fingers; I bet he knows how to use them, if you catch my drift." Suddenly my mind was overcome with memories of Edward and I in more intimate moments when we were dating. One of my favorite and most remembered moments was when Edward and I were together at Rosalie's Halloween Party, locked in a bedroom and exploring each other's bodies eagerly.

_"Take them off," I told him in a quiet whisper after Edward had asked me to tell him what I wanted. I watched as he leaned back on his knees again and latched his fingers into the top of my panties with a slight bit of hesitation. Without any sort of instruction from Edward, I lifted my ass off the bed and shivered with desire as he slipped the small fabric ever so slowly down my thighs._

_I groaned quietly as I felt Edward's finger slip between my pussy lips and he let out a very loud growl that anyone outside in the hallway would no doubt hear. "You are so fucking wet."_

_"You do this to me," I said in a shy voice, which was also rather bold. "All the god damn time."_

_Edward leaned down and kissed me on the mouth before he then started to kiss his way down my chest and stomach before coming to a stop at the top of my skirt. He didn't remove it but simply pushed it up a bit more as I noticed he had stopped and was literally staring at me like I was his dinner and he couldn't wait to dig in. How ironic was that thought because the next moment he bent his head forward and used his forearms to spread me open further. My breathing began to pick up, no doubt in anticipation and the moment his tongue was flat against me and he licked teasingly up the length of my pussy, I let out a very loud hiss. He nibbled gently at my clit as he slowly ran his fingers along my slit before gently easing one finger inside of me and my back arched slightly in response._

_"Oh fuck yes Edward," I yelled out as he began to slide one finger in and out of me, adding a second and causing me to arch my back even more, for the second time. My mind began racing with thoughts of Edward inside me, not just his fingers, but all of him and I couldn't help the words that fell from my mouth as I envisioned him hovering above me, his cock deep inside me. "More."_

_He continued to thrust his fingers in and out of me and I squirmed as he latched his lips back onto my sensitive clit, sucking it furiously into his mouth as he nibbled and teased it with his tongue. Within moments, I was gripping the sheets on the bed tightly, my knuckles turning white based on the sheer force I was using. "Watch me," Edward said forcefully as I propped myself up on my elbows and looked down at him as I bit my lip. Edward looked so fucking gorgeous and focused as he fucked me with his talented fingers. I couldn't help it as my eyes closed and my head fell back once more. I also couldn't ignore the groan of frustration as it happened. "Watch me," he instructed me again, this time louder and more powerful._

"Bella… are you okay?" asked Catherine as I opened my eyes for a moment and looked towards her with a hint of frustration for ruining my day dream at such a wonderful point. "Your face is all flush and you look kinda tired or something."

"I'm fine. It's just warm out here today and these robes aren't helping to keep me cool," I uttered aimlessly as both girls just nodded their heads in agreement. It was just my luck that it was the sunniest day of the year and I had to be wearing a hideous blue floor length robe while stuck sitting outside on the lawn of my college without any shade. I took one more glance towards the back and saw Edward pat Charlie on the back and stand still as Charlie went with Sue to join Leah and Seth who had already taken their seats. Part of me thought that Edward would sit with them, and another part of me hoped that he would just leave. Not because I really wanted him to leave, but I didn't want Catherine or Michelle to get their claws into him.

_Is that a twinge of jealousy Bella?_ I questioned myself before letting out a small huff. I had resigned myself to the fact that no matter how I felt about Edward, we were not in any sort of place to get back together. I was on a mission of self-preservation these days and was trying to keep it that way. I was going to focus on my career and Edward was going to go back to Dartmouth for his final year of University before moving onto medical school, it was as easy as that.

My mind was pulled from my thoughts of Edward as music began to play and the President of our school took the stage. It seemed like forever that I sat baking in the sun, but when everything was all said and done, it had only been an hour or so. I had my diploma in hand and my beaming father by my side, gushing about how proud he was before he insisted on taking some photos for me in the hideous getup.

I was talking casually to Leah about Rosalie and Emmett's upcoming visit, when I felt a small tap on my shoulder and turned around to see Edward standing in front of me. "Congratulations Bella," he said sweetly as he handed me a small bouquet of gerbera daisies, not unlike the ones he gave me on our first date. In fact, if I had to guess, I would say they were the exact same colors as those flowers.

"Oh… thanks," I mumbled as Leah poked me in the side and I regained my train of thought. "Edward, this is Leah Clearwater. She's the daughter of my dad's girlfriend, Sue," I said genuinely as I introduced them and Leah looked at him skeptically, as could be expected. She shook his hand firmly and Edward glanced down at me with an odd sort of smile. "Leah, this is Edward."

"It's a pleasure to meet you."

"I would respond in kind, but I'm a little confused as to what you are doing here," Leah stated, practically reading my own mind. I couldn't even recall telling Edward when the hell my graduation was, so seeing him here was a huge surprise.

"This was a big day in Bella's life and I wanted to be here to support her."

"You weren't invited."

"I didn't take a seat."

Leah looked at him curiously and I could tell she was warming up to him a bit because every time she dished a sarcastic comment or rude glance at him, he gave it right back at her. Then again, she had several years' worth of me bitching about the situation and I hadn't had much of a chance to let her know that we had both exchanged apologies. Knowing Leah though, she would complain that an apology wasn't enough, even if she did like the guy. "Doesn't mean you were wanted here."

"Its fine Leah, please calm down. Thanks for coming Edward," I replied as Catherine and Michelle came up to us with their eyes wide and began to eye up Edward. Well, eye fuck was more like it.

"Bella, you didn't tell us you knew this fine young man," said Catherine as she tried to be seductive and Leah, Edward and I all rolled our eyes at the same time.

"Fine young man… yeah, that's what I'd call him," snarked Leah as I pushed her shoulder and she finally relented.

"Catherine and Michelle, this is Edward Cullen. He's an... um… an old friend of mine," I said genuinely as I faltered over what to call him. I didn't want to introduce him as my ex because that would just make Catherine and Michelle more curious, but I also didn't want to disparage him, like Leah had been doing, because he was trying to make an effort, even though it was seemingly confused.

"Oh well… Bella didn't mention that, did you Bella?" said Michelle casually as she looked at me curiously before leaning over and whispering in my ear. "I'm calling you tomorrow to get his number." I just nodded my head in response and decided not to answer my phone when she called.

"So Edward, did you graduate from Peninsula?" Catherine asked smoothly as I felt Leah grab my arm when she noticed I was getting frustrated.

"Um no. I'm going into my last year at Dartmouth technically, but my plans might be changing," Edward replied cryptically as the girls seemed confused as to why he would leave such a prestigious school as Dartmouth.

"Wow, Dartmouth. What brings you to our little graduation ceremony?" Catherine added, curiously. I may have felt my hands ball up into little fists and the urge to smack the sexy grin off her face may have crossed my mind.

"I'm here to support an 'old friend'," he replied shortly, and highlighting the term 'old friend' not unlike I had done. There was a bit more idle chit chat about Edward and New Hampshire before the girls bid us a sweet farewell, far sweeter than they would have if Edward hadn't been with us, and then made their way over to their own families. Charlie insisted on taking a bunch more photos of me and when Edward suggested a photo of all us, Charlie jumped at the chance.

"You're not going to give that girl Edward's number are you?" asked Leah smugly as she draped her arm over my shoulder and Seth flanked my other side with Charlie and Sue on the ends of our haphazard row. I shook my head slowly and watched as Edward lifted the camera to his face and began to take the photo. "I didn't think so. I could see a bit of the green eyed monster in you when she flirted with him. Considering he's a guy you claim not to like, you sure seem to have issues with other girls having him." I narrowed my eyes a Leah and cursed as I heard Edward snap the photo. I had a feeling everyone else looked great and I just looked pissed off. This would no doubt end up on the mantle one day.

"Thanks Edward," my father said politely as Edward handed him his digital camera back, and I tried to play it cool.

"You're welcome Chief," he replied coolly before I felt his hand reach up and push a bit of hair behind my ear before he lowered his face to mine and began to whisper. "I need to talk to you. Can I see you tonight?"

"No."

"Do I need to drop to my knees and beg?" he asked as I was suddenly visualizing the same fantasy of him going down on me at Rosalie's Halloween party. I shook the thought from my head and turned to look at him straight in his deep green eyes.

"No begging necessary. Charlie and Sue planned a little graduation dinner in my honor and I can't skip out on it." Edward's eyes grew sad for a moment but I lifted my flowers to my face to sniff them, so I could hide the sly smile that grew across my face. "You certainly know about skipping out on things though."

"I have already apologized to you for that. It's been three, almost four years Bella. I'll do anything you ask if you will just forgive me," he pleaded softly as I realized the error of my ways. I knew that verbally I had forgiven Edward, but my heart hadn't had the chance to grasp this yet. I was still on the fence about us and what to do. I knew he wanted another chance with me, that was obvious, but I wasn't ready to face the heartache I knew would come with it. Call me a pessimist, but once bitten twice shy and all that shit, right?

"I didn't mean that. I meant because you built me a garden, kissed me and then I've only seen you twice in the past two weeks. I'm getting very mixed signals from you."

"That's what I wanted to explain."

"You want to explain why I think you are bi-polar?"

"I want to explain where I've been."

"You don't need to explain your life to me Edward. We aren't dating, we aren't married and we never will be."

"Just give me an hour. What about tonight at like nine or so? Think you can get out for like even just half an hour?" he asked, as his eyes were full of sadness. My mind and my heart were playing tug of war over how to answer him. My mind told me to stay the hell away and my heart told me to jump in with both feet, which was what Alice had advised me during our shopping trip a few weeks ago. I watched with rapt attention as Edward threaded his hands through his hair and took a deep breath.

"Come on Bella, I'm riding home with you so we can go pick up some food," Leah called out, effectively ruining my train of thought.

"Fine. Nine o'clock. Don't climb in the damn window. I'll meet you outside. It's supposed to be nice tonight," I commented as I clutched my flowers tightly and began to walk away. When I turned back around to look at him once more, Edward was beaming from ear to ear as he waved at me excitedly. What the hell was I going to do about him?

When I finally got to my truck after getting rid of my horrible graduation gown, Leah was standing beside it looking positively smug. "What?"

"You turned around."

"So what?"

"Bella… that's like the universal sign for liking someone, you walk away and then turn around to look at them again. It shows you are interested and you did the move perfectly. No wonder he looked like a kid in a candy store just a second ago," stated Leah as I unlocked the truck and she walked around to the passenger side to get in, practically singing as she spoke. "He still likes you even though I don't trust the guy. Edward and Bella sitting in a tree… k-i-s-s-i-n-g." I just could help myself when I smacked her upside the head, but at least she shut up.

~*~*~

A few hours later, Leah, Seth and I cleaned up the dishes from dessert after having dinner as a family, which didn't feel weird in the least. I already considered Leah as my sister from another mother and Seth was like a little brother to me. However, he was also like a little brother to Jacob, which had a tendency to make things awkward these past few weeks.

"So… Jake told me what happened," said Seth as I handed him a plate and he put it away in the cupboard. My eyes immediately narrowed and the good mood I had been in, soured. "Look, I'm not here to plead his case or explain why he did what he did. He just begged me to ask you to answer your phone once."

"Seth, you're a douche," stated Leah as she washed another plate and then handed it to me to dry. "He cheated on Bella. There's no reason why Jacob needs to talk to her." I nodded my head in agreement and zoned out for a moment as they argued back and forth about Jacob's intentions. Like Leah kept reiterating to Seth, I just wasn't interested in what Jacob had to say about anything anymore. He lost that right the moment he cheated on me.

"Okay, just listen to me. If you give him two minutes on the phone, won't it be a relief if he stops calling you constantly?" Seth questioned as I tilted my head to the side slightly, actually thinking about his request. Yeah, it would help if Jacob could stop fucking calling me. Hell, he even tried to call me during the graduation ceremony while he sat a dozen rows in front of me. I was glad he didn't come over and make a scene after everything was said and done that morning. "Are you going to do it?"

"Oh shut up Seth," added Leah once more as she handed me the last dish and I glanced over at the clock and noticed it was almost nine. "You have somewhere you need to be? This is the third time I've seen you watch the clock."

"Nope, no where important. I was just wondering when you guys would stop fucking annoying me," I admitted with a laugh as Leah punched me on the shoulder and Seth just rolled his eyes.

"I seriously think you lost your sense of humor somewhere along the way Bella," said Leah with a small smile as Charlie and Sue walked into the room and looked between the three of us with big smiles.

"Glad to see you guys are getting along so well," said Sue sweetly as I quirked my eye brow at her and immediately got suspicious. "Especially since Charlie and I have decided we should all move in together."

"Woah… wait a second," said Leah as I was about to open my mouth but she did it first, reading my mind in fact. "You and Charlie are going to move in together… thus meaning all of us are going to live together? You do realize this house is too tiny for all of us right?"

"Yup. We've been looking in the area in and around Forks for something else for a while and we found something halfway between downtown and La Push. It's perfect really," said Charlie with a happiness I hadn't seen on his face in years. Who was I to ruin this moment for them? I was thrilled they were moving forward in their relationship, but there was something that was bothering me.

"Can I make a suggestion?"

"Sure honey," replied my father as he gave me a little wink. I think he knew exactly what I was about to suggest, but I spoke anyways.

"Don't you think I'm a little old to be moving in with my dad and his girlfriend? I've been saving up money to move out, so what would you think if I stayed here and paid you rent?"

"I'll move in with her," Leah piped up.

"Wait, so they get to move out and I get stuck with the old folks? How the hell is this fair?" questioned Seth with frustration in his voice.

"First of all squirt, you are only sixteen, so too bad. The law says you have to stay with them. We're a little bit older than you," laughed Leah as I rolled my eyes, figuring that if she kept this shit up neither of us would be moving in here.

"Let us think about it," added Charlie as he looked over at Sue who seemed a bit upset. Only a moment ago she was excited about moving on in her life with Charlie, but now it seemed like she hadn't taken everything into consideration because it also meant that her kids were growing up and moving on. Charlie pulled her close to his side and she rested her head down on his shoulder, giving me another view of the clock. Shit, it was 9:15 now. Edward had to still be waiting for me.

"If there's nothing else right now, I'd like to get ready for bed. I'm a bit tired," I lied easily as Charlie just nodded his head. Leah pulled me into a tight hug and whispered that she knew I was lying, but then winked at me as though she wasn't against anything I was going to do.

"I'm not afraid to go back to prison," she said with a laugh as I just rolled my eyes at her stupid sense of humor.

I said goodnight to everyone and took the stairs two at a time, eager to get outside to Edward. I tossed on Edward's old sweatshirt and then stealthily climbed out the window like a 16 year old breaking curfew or something equally childish. As I ran around the back of the house, Edward was getting up from where he had been sitting in the backyard and looked like he was about to leave.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly as I moved closer and Edward looked at me in surprise. "I didn't mean to be so late."

"I thought you were going to stand me up. Not that I didn't deserve it or anything," he said remorsefully as I noticed the moon shining down on his face as he remained glued to his spot. He looked so damn sad that I couldn't help the twinge of regret that coursed through me for being late.

**EPOV**

I waited and waited for what seemed like an eternity. Sure, it was only 15 minutes or so, but when things were already so tense between us, 15 minutes seemed epic. I had driven over to Bella's, my hands shaking like a bundle of nerves as I prepared to tell her where I had been for the past few days. No doubt I would surprise her, possibly even upset her, but after some conversations with my father, I had made up my mind about things in my life and I couldn't keep running away.

When she finally ran into the back yard, dressed once again in my old sweatshirt, I breathed a sigh of relief and was taken by surprise when she apologized for being late. Of course, I was worried she wouldn't show at all, so the lateness I could handle, even though I was about to get up and knock on her front door, prepared to face any sort of wrath that came my way as long as she spoke to me.

"I was detained with a family matter. It seems Charlie & Sue are gonna move in together and want us kids to join them. They kinda still see me and Leah as being teenagers I think," she admitted as I sat back down on the small red plaid blanket I had brought with me and my body fought not to get too excited when Bella sat down beside me, although with a bit more distance between us than I would have liked. "I think we just need to prove to them that we are responsible and shit."

"Yeah and sneaking out of your house at 22 years old does that."

"Shut your pie hole Cullen."

"You should just move out, get your own place."

"I asked Charlie if I could stay here and pay him rent. He's thinking about it," she replied as I said nothing in response. As the awkward silence grew between us, we were startled as we heard voices from the front of the house and watched as Sue's car drove away a moment later with all of the Clearwaters' in it.

"Leah's a bit protective of you," I mumbled as Bella nodded her head slowly and pulled her legs out in front of her as she leaned back on her palms. "I guess she knows all about our history?"

"Yeah… she knows."

"And she hates me huh?"

"Hate is such a strong word, albeit probably a correct one in this instance," she replied with a small laugh as she leaned closer and touched me with her shoulder playfully. I took a deep breath before speaking again.

"You don't hate me right?"

"No matter what the hell went down with us in the past Edward," she said with a bit of trepidation in her voice. I could tell she was just as nervous as I was. "Whatever happened between us… I never hated you. Time heals all wounds and all that shit." I let out a small chuckle and she followed suit, which relaxed me a bit. "So, what the hell are we doing here… what did you want to talk about?"

Oh yeah… that. I had almost forgotten the reason I had originally wanted to get together with her tonight. I leaned back slightly myself and stared up at the stars that were visible in the clear night sky before finally mustering up some courage to speak to her.

"I'm sorry about being a bit… absent these past few days. I honestly didn't know what to do next, because even though my mind tells me I need to give you time to think about everything, my heart and body just want to be with you twenty four hours a day, seven days a week," I admitted tentatively as Bella looked at me before following my gaze into the sky. When she seemed relatively distracted, I grabbed the piece of paper from my pocket and slipped it onto her lap.

"What's this?" she questioned cautiously as she picked it up and squinted as she tried to read it in the mediocre light of her backyard.

"It's transfers papers. I submitted them earlier this week when I was in Seattle visiting the UW campus," I replied as Bella dropped the paper as though it was burning her hands or something.

"Why are you doing this?"

"I'm doing it because it's what is best for me. I'm not particularly happy in New Hampshire and while it may seem like the timing is all wrong and that I am doing this for you, I've had time to think about this and coming home is what I want to do," I replied as Bella turned and crossed her legs so that she was sitting in front of me, staring me down.

"I don't want you to give up your dreams to come back to something you may not get."

"Are you implying I may never have you again?" I asked as I watched as Bella nodded her head slowly in response and my heart didn't ache even though she was once again rejecting me. "It's okay. If you and I never become what I want… which is to be together forever by the way, than I will handle it. It's my issue not yours. However, I feel carefree, my stress is down and I just feel fucking happy being back home. All I wanted for the longest time was to leave here, but then I finally get out and all I want to do is come back. Does that make any sense?"

"Yeah… you're homesick. I should have known you were a local boy at heart," laughed Bella as she leaned back again, her feet still crossed in front of her as she stared me down. "But you aren't doing this for me right?"

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to be with you again and that the possibility of being with you didn't play a small part in my decision. However, after talking to my Dad last week after we kissed," I said under my breath as I stopped and watched to see Bella's reaction to my comment. She smiled, which gave me a small modicum of hope, not unlike when she turned around earlier today when she was walking to her truck. Yeah, I knew the turnaround meant she was interested, but I was trying to take this at her own pace even though I was beyond desperate to be with her again. "Anyways… after we kissed I talked to Carlisle and he helped me weigh the pros and cons of staying here versus going back to Dartmouth. Washington easily won out."

"So… when do you find out about UW?" she asked casually as the tension between us seemed to melt away considerably, which both relieved and thrilled me.

"Not for a few weeks. I talked to my roommate James back in Hanover and he's already got someone in mind to take over my portion of the rent. I wish that person luck since James' girlfriend is a damned hyena," I laughed as Bella looked at me with curiosity. "Let's just say that she's a competitive bitch who has a hard time taking no for an answer. She was in some of my classes."

"Tell me about life at Dartmouth," she asked simply as my eyes grew wide in shock. "You already know what I got up to for the past few years… remission, high school, college, graduation… so why don't you tell me what you did?" I shrugged my shoulders and even though I didn't think Bella would be that interested in what I had done in New Hampshire, I told her and she surprised me by hanging on every word. I told her all about my classes, James and his girlfriend Victoria, and I may have even spoken her name with disgust, which made Bella laugh. Well, she laughed about her until I told her that Vicky had been after me originally and then moved onto James. I think I even noticed a hint of jealousy as I spoke about her after that.

I told Bella all about my newfound appreciation for running, which I had continued to do now that I was back in Forks and even how I used to go to a certain tree-filled park to run because it reminded me of home more than any other place in Hanover. "I met Siobhan one day when I was running," I admitted nervously as Bella narrowed her eyes once more. "She was the girl with the broken ankle who I helped out and then became friends with. I was having breakfast with her when my Dad called to tell me about Mom."

"The one who called you right?"

"Yeah… her."

"Whatever happened with her?"

"I politely told her I wasn't interested in a romantic relationship with her, when she kinda pushed me about it. She was a nice enough girl to be friends with, but…" I hesitated before finishing my sentence, but when Bella urged me on, waving her hand to continue, I couldn't help myself. "I don't see a long term relationship with anyone but you."

I watched as Bella took a deep breath and closed her eyes before finally choosing to respond to me. I knew I shouldn't have said it, but I couldn't help myself. "What if… what if I'm never ready for that again with you Edward? Sometimes what I want are things that are not good for me."

"You want me?" I asked excitedly, my voice cracking as Bella closed her eyes again and shook her head.

"I was speaking broadly. I like donuts, but they aren't exactly good for me either," she retorted as she tried to back track and cover her words, but she failed and I was ecstatic. _She wanted me._ I felt like jumping onto the roof of her father's house and shouting it to the people of Forks that Bella wanted me. She was right, there was hope.

"Um… sure," I said sarcastically as Bella reached up and punched me in the shoulder playfully. "So, you're not mad I was gone for a few days then? I was with Alice & Jasper at their place in Seattle as I met with some professors and filed my transfer paperwork. I think things should go smoothly but since it's kinda late in the year, I'm not sure if I will start in the fall or the winter semester, but it's all good. I'm just gonna wait and see what happens."

For the rest of the evening, Bella and I just sat in her backyard and talked about nothing in particular like things that had happened in our lives, and those of our friends, over the past few years. She shocked me with the news of the pregnancy scare Alice and Jasper had gone through, not because I didn't think they were ready for it, but because I knew it wasn't part of Jasper's plan. Even though he was an idiot of epic proportions in high school, I always knew he would one day be the mature person he had grown into. I knew he didn't want to let Alice down at all and wanted the world for her. I knew because this was exactly how I felt about Bella. We talked about the upcoming visit of Rosalie and Emmett, and Bella let me know that Rosalie would probably be my biggest challenge. No shit, considering how Alice is practically forcing us back together any way possible and Rosalie would probably try to beat the shit out of me if she knew I wanted Bella back.

Before I realized it, it was nearing midnight and Bella was curled up on her side, fast asleep. I pushed her hair out of the way of her face and lay down beside her, facing her, but not touching her. I couldn't exactly go and knock on the Chief's door to tell him Bella was asleep in the backyard and I wasn't about to leave her there, so I decided to stay until she woke up.

Needless to say, when Bella did wake up, it was at the same time as me when we heard a voice echoing over us, the anger obvious. I blinked my eyes open and looked down to find myself wrapped around Bella, both of us clinging to the other, having clearly repositioned ourselves in the middle of the night. This hadn't been part of my plan, but I was glad to have gotten something else off of her list; sleeping under the stars.

"Well isn't this cozy," the deep voice said again and when I looked up, Bella doing the exact same, we were surprise to see Jake standing over us. "You certainly don't waste any time do you Cullen?"

I sat up slightly, bringing Bella with me and then I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. What the hell was Jacob doing here? "We were talking last night and fell asleep. Edward was a complete gentleman all night," Bella said, defending me even though she didn't need to. I was more than ready to fight my own battles where Jacob was concerned.

"Since when does a perfect gentleman keep his hand on your ass?"

"Maybe I put it there," Bella retorted angrily as she stood up and began to wipe some grass from her legs. "We were fucking asleep Jake. Anyways, it's not your business if Edward has his hand on my ass or anywhere else for that matter. You lost that right the moment you started banging the flower shop girl like a screen door in a tornado." I couldn't help but feel proud of Bella as I watched her yell at Jacob with a complete lack of remorse. Well, at least I didn't have to worry about her moving on from him, because it was clear she already had.

"Fuck… this wasn't what I wanted. I came here to talk to you civilly. Seth told me you were willing to talk to me for a minute," Jacob said anxiously as I darted my eyes over to Bella. Why the hell had she agreed to talk to him. Was she on drugs or something? I felt the overwhelming urge to shake some sense into her and then follow it up with a swift kick to Jacob's family jewels. "I'm not here for me."

"Then why are you here?" I asked snidely as Jacob narrowed his eyes at me and growled. I was glad to see I still wasn't welcome.

"Can we talk in private?" asked Jacob as he reached out to Bella and took her forearm in his hand, trying to pull her with him. I was tempted to do the same, but we really didn't need a tug of war breaking out over this beautiful girl. That certainly wouldn't win me any brownie points in her eyes.

"Anything you have to say, you can say in front of Edward." My head whipped around toward Bella and I was caught off guard when she said this, but I understood that she didn't want to be alone with him. So, in an effort to both piss Jacob off and support Bella, I moved to her side and entwined my fingers in hers supportively, even more surprised when she didn't pull her hand away.

"Oh fuck fine…," Jake stammered awkwardly as he released her arm from his grasp. "I'm not here for me because I know what I did was reprehensible. Believe me, my sisters have taken turns verbally and physically abusing me for how I treated you, but there is one thing that has happened because of us that I didn't intend to happen. Charlie won't talk to Billy anymore."

"I didn't know that," admitted Bella with a sense of sadness to her voice.

"Yeah well… Billy is pretty pissed at me for everything and Charlie is even more pissed off, so he stopped talking to Billy out of loyalty to you. I am not asking you to forgive me or anything like that, but if you could talk to Charlie and let him know he can talk to Billy, I would owe you forever," Jacob said pleadingly. For a small second I felt bad for the guy, not because he had cheated on Bella but because he didn't realize how his actions would affect everyone else in his life. I shook my head as I fought back the fact that my actions in leaving Bella had affected people in my life as well, and my relationships with them had suffered. I couldn't fault him for trying to fix things, since I had done the same with Alice & Jasper and was soon going to try with Emmett and Rosalie.

"I'll talk to him. It's not Billy's fault you're a scumbag, so I don't want him and Charlie to miss out on their friendship because of your actions," she announced as Jacob looked between us again and I could feel Bella tense beside me. I rubbed her shoulder sweetly as I tried to calm her down a bit.

"So, are you guys… back together?" Jake asked as I looked down at Bella and her face was pale white. "People told me to give up pursuing you because you were meant to be with Edward, but I never listened. Imagine how different life would have been if I had just listened to them?" Jacob asked wistfully as I felt the urge to punch him for being such an idiot. No shit though asshole, if he hadn't stolen my note and flowers perhaps it would be me and Bella planning a wedding and not Alice & Jasper. I shook that thought from my head too, because I wasn't anywhere near proposing and listened tentatively as Bella ignored his question and thanked him for coming to see her regarding the rift between Charlie and Billy. I think that had Bella known sooner, she would have talked to her dad about what was going on, but he had said nothing based on the surprise on Bella's face upon hearing the news.

Jake left a few minutes later, telling Bella casually that he would see her around eventually, and Bella went into the house to get Scrappy and let him out before he peed in the house. I picked up the blanket and folded it up, dusting off all the excess grass before sitting down on the picnic table. I waited patiently, hoping I could convince Bella to come out for coffee and hopefully breakfast with me, but I wasn't sure she would say yes.

When I heard the back door slam shut, I saw Scrappy run down the steps towards me eagerly. Unfortunately, the moment he jumped up on me, his leash got caught around Bella's legs and she tripped down the steps and landed flat on her face on the hard patio stones. "Holy shit, are you okay?" I called out as I ran to her side and crouched down beside her. I moved her face out of her hair and was relieved there was no blood or anything, but then I noticed Bella's hand was under her head, preventing any damage to her face. "Is anything hurt?"

"My hand," she croaked out as I turned her onto her side, but her hand remained glued to the patio. Bella had clearly tried to brace her fall with her hand, because her wrist was twisted in a way I had never seen before and I knew she had broken it.

"Come on baby… sit up. I need to get you to the hospital," I instructed her as she stumbled as she tried to stand and I noticed tears falling from her face, both in pain and embarrassment. I had her stay still as I rushed the dog back into the house and then ran to get my car, pulling onto the street right in front of her house. When I got back into the backyard, Bella was sitting on her knees, clutching her wrist and sobbing in pain.

"It's okay hon… let's go to the hospital alright. You probably broke or sprained it, so we need to get you looked at immediately." Bella nodded her head and I bent down, wrapping one arm under hers and helped her to her feet. The moment she was standing, I wrapped my arms under her small legs and lifted her up, carrying her to my car, where I helped her into the passenger seat and buckled her in as she clutched at her wrist and winced in pain.

When we got to Forks General Hospital, I rushed her into the emergency room and insisted on having her looked at immediately. I even began throwing around my father's name with the hope that it would do something for us. I was in a panic and even though it was just a wrist, I couldn't help the way it hurt for me to see her injured. My entire body was aching in misery and just sitting there, waiting impatiently, wasn't helping my state of mind.

When her name was called, the nurse motioned for Bella to follow her, and I helped her stand up. I went with her down to the exam room and when the nurse told me to leave because I wasn't family, Bella looked torn apart. "Please don't make him leave," she pleaded to the nurse before turning to look directly at me, her eyes brimming with tears. "Please don't leave me."

I quickly moved to her side and brushed some hair behind her ears as her head fell on my shoulder after she had sat down on the exam table. I moved my hand slowly up and down her arm, trying to reassure her. "I'm not going anywhere," I promised her. "Ever again."

**A/N: Is he redeeming himself at all? I'm sure some of you would still take him off of Bella's hands if she turns him down right?**


	33. My Breakthrough

**A/N: Yes I am back. I know, this has been a slow update for me, but I was sick for a few days and suffered through some writers block. Ask my beta (MaggieMay14) and pre-readers (Risbee, Beegurl13, Flightlessbird11, TwiOthGirly and TillyWhitlock) they will all confirm for you that I hated this chapter when I originally sent it to them. I hope that what I have ended up with is somewhat better than what I first thought.**

**To some of my favorite twitter girls MoniNP and megsican11, for pushing me for this chapter. LOL. Just kidding girls. I was gonna get to it anyways, I'm just posting sooner than I thought I would. I'm so thankful for all the support this story has gotten and I hope you guys enjoy the chapter.**

**I don't own Twilight; I am going to see Alice in Wonderland tomorrow and then Remember Me on Sunday with my fuckawesome beta MaggieMay14. Who's jealous?**

**BPOV**

"Ms. Swan, the x-ray shows that your wrist is indeed broken so we are going to have to put a cast on it," said Dr. Tapp, as he held up the x-ray to the brightly lit viewer on the wall. I remained seated on the paper covered exam table as Edward stood over the doctor, checking out the image of my broken wrist with a wide smile. I couldn't recall when had seen him this happy since he had gotten home and it concerned me a little bit. Although he was excited when I broke up with Jacob and when Esme got home from the hospital, this was a different sort of happiness, and one that I wasn't responsible for.

"How long is this going to take?" I asked in frustration as Edward turned around and gave me a supportive grin. He hadn't left my side the entire time we'd been stuck at the hospital and even when I had to go the bathroom, he stood watch outside my closed door like I was the fucking president or some shit.

"I've already requested the supplies, so it shouldn't be too long," Dr. Tapp explained as my cell phone began buzzing on the table beside me, so Edward grabbed it and hit the speaker button so that I could talk to whoever was calling.

"Bella, where are you? Mrs. Johansen said she could hear Scrappy whining from inside the house for the past hour. Is everything okay?" my father asked, his voice ripe with concern and frustration. I rolled my eyes and explained to him the entire situation of me falling down the stairs, Edward helping me to the hospital and how I was about to get a cast because the nurse walked in at that moment. "Okay, I'm gonna go drive by the house since I'm a few blocks away and let Scrappy out for a few minutes. Is Edward going to give you a ride home?"

"Yeah Dad, I don't think Edward would leave me in the hospital," I said with a slight sigh before I shook my head from the memories that were trying to flood back into my mind. Edward had apologized, more than necessary, so why couldn't I get past everything that had happened between us?

"Ok Bells. I'll try and get home a bit early today so that you can take it easy." I scoffed slightly, knowing full well he would probably be late anyways, as Edward patted my shoulder supportively and I leaned into his touch without even thinking about it. Was it possible that I had forgiven him and was over it, but my mind wasn't letting go?

"Sounds good Dad. I'll see you at home later," I said genuinely as I handed the phone back to Edward who hung up for me. As Dr. Tapp and his nurse attended to wrapping my wrist with the cast, Edward gently stroked my hair and told me about how he was nervous to see Emmett and Rosalie the following weekend.

"She hates my guts. I know she does," he said caustically as the doctor wrapped the gauze or whatever around my wrist and my hand. Edward looked downright sad and remorseful.

"With Rose her bark is always worse than her bite. I don't expect her to resort to physical violence, but I wouldn't put it past her to yell at you and make a scene," I said with a nervous laugh. Alice thought it was best if Rosalie didn't know that Edward and I were on good terms, because she knew Rose wouldn't take it well. However I wished we had talked about this over the phone, rather than simply throwing Edward to the wolves when they finally saw each other.

"The last time she spoke to me, she hit me and yelled at me for not seeing you in the hospital. I'm not looking forward to revisiting that, especially now that you and I are friends again."

"Is that what we are… friends?" I questioned quietly as Edward moved my hair behind my ear again and kissed my temple softly.

"For now… yes." I looked up at Edward, but his eyes were back on watching the doctor wrap my wrist, focused intently on his process and I smiled slightly, knowing that Edward would make a great doctor one day.

As soon as everything was said and done, the nurse gave me a run down on all the things I had to do like shower with a bag on my hand and take it easy as best as I can. I thanked god that I had broken my left hand, because I was right handed and this wouldn't hinder me from taking my nursing exams in a few weeks. At least I hoped it wouldn't.

Edward and I drove back to the house and once he had he helped me inside he received a call from Esme requesting he stop by the store for some groceries. He immediately began to apologize for leaving me. "It's alright really. Scrappy will keep me company," I said quietly as the dog jumped onto the couch and rested his head on my lap as I began patting him gently. "See, he's missed me."

"He's not the only one," Edward mumbled quietly under his breath, thinking I couldn't hear him, before he stood from the couch and headed towards the front door. "When does Rose get into town?"

"Friday afternoon. She and Emmett are here for a few weeks, they do it every year," I explained as Edward nodded his head and turned around. "Are you going to come to dinner with us? Alice mentioned us meeting at the diner at six thirty on Friday. You should come. Are you gonna come? I think I want you to come for dinner," I stammered out nervously. I wanted him to be there because I felt it would be good for him to clear the air with Rose and Em, much like he had done with Alice and Jasper.

"Jasper called me the other night and basically insisted I go, so I'll be there. Do you want me to pick you up first? It's probably gonna suck to drive with your fucked up hand huh?" My slight smile turned into a frown as I realized how right he was about that. Thank god other than studying and visiting Esme, I really had no place to be this week.

"Yeah, you can pick me up. That would be great," I said as Edward continued towards the door again and gave me a quick wave. "I'll see you later?" I asked, hopeful that he would be back sometime before Friday.

"Yeah. I'll call you later," he said, and I could tell his voice was more excited than it had been moments before. I stayed on the couch, with Scrappy on my lap, and looked out the picture window as Edward's rental car drove down the road and towards the grocery store on a mission for his mother.

As the daylight faded to night, I lay down on the couch with my cast draped across my stomach and it reminded me of lying outside on the hard, cool ground with Edward the night before. Scrappy lay down at my side and lifted his head up every time he heard a loud noise on the TV or a car drive down the street. The more I thought about the night before, the more I began to wonder about some of the other things Edward had done over the past few weeks. Last night we had slept under the stars and he had planted me a garden as well. My mind processed the information quickly and I almost slipped and fell again as I jumped off the couch and ran upstairs to my bedroom, pulling my journal out of my bedside table.

Sure enough number 10 on my list was 'Plant a Garden' and number 15 was 'Sleep Under the Stars.' Every time I got a new journal, I would write my list on the very first page so that I could refer to it often as I tried to mark off as many things as I could. With Charlie & Leah's support over the past few years I had managed to see the Grand Canyon and go white water rafting, after Charlie took all five of us on vacation to Colorado and Arizona for a week and a half. I marked off number 10 and 15 and then reached for my cell phone, immediately dialing Alice.

"What did you do?" I asked anxiously after she answered the phone and seemed way too bubbly.

"What do you mean?" she questioned in response as I rolled my eyes and was glad she couldn't see me at that moment.

"Did you have a talk to Edward when you were in Forks last time?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

Her voice was so sweet, it was undeniably a fake and I had to stifle back a laugh because I was trying to be serious with her, though I felt like I was failing miserably. "You're lying to me, Alice. I just had an epiphany and I somehow think you are involved. Did you know Edward planted me a garden?"

"Oh really?" she said, her voice high and cracking. "That was very nice of him."

"Yeah, no shit. Last night we even talked and fell asleep under the stars."

"Awww… now that is romantic. I like it and I have to admit, the boy is smooth."

"No, the boy has you urging him on somehow. Now, I ask you once more… what did you do Alice?"

The silence grew between us on the phone, as neither one of us backed down. I could hear Alice huff and sigh on the other end of the phone, but I was insistent on getting to the bottom of this.

"Oh fine. I gave him one of your old lists, though I must admit I'm shocked all those items are still on there. You don't still have 'Get a Pony and name him Fred' on there do you?" she asked with a nervous laugh, trying to deflect my attention from her and onto the childish items I had put on my first ever bucket list.

"Just… why… what… are you…"I let out a loud huff and a sigh as I closed my eyes. I didn't know what to say to Alice, but she took my moment of silence as an opportunity and began to speak. "No, I don't have the pony on there. I also don't have 'Marry Justin Timberlake' on there either."

"Oh J.T. He is still a hottie, you should go after him Bella."

"Alice, stop distracting me. Why did you give him my damned list?"

"Listen, you may not see it, but you and Edward are fated to be together. If you don't do it now, it will happen eventually, whether it is when he moves back from Dartmouth in a few years or whenever. Do you really want to waste all this time apart? I'm just trying to give you guys the push you need to reunite. Yes, I gave him the list, simply because the boy was like a lost fucking puppy, Bella. He had the best of intentions, but no direction. Don't be mad at him, it was all my fault."

"I'm not mad at either of you."

"You're not?" Alice choked out in question.

"Well I'm not happy you gave it to him, but we have spent time together lately, and that's a good thing. He's grown up a lot over the past few years," I muttered quietly as I heard Alice give a small squee over the phone, which made me laugh. "We've talked a lot about our time apart, and our time together and I told him I forgive him."

"Do you mean it though?"

"I think I do?"

"That's not the right answer then. Do you forgive him Bella?"

"Yeah, I do. He told me last night that he applied for a transfer to UW."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah, I know. I was shocked when he told me, but he reassured me he was doing it because he was unhappy in New Hampshire and not because of me."

"If he stayed would you get back together with him?"

"Alice…" I said as I was about to chastise her for even asking the question in the first place. Of course Alice wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise and let me finish my thought.

"Just answer the question, Bella. What's the first answer that comes to your mind when I ask if you would get back together with him?"

"Yes."

The rest of our phone call was spent with Alice gushing about how badly she wanted to see me get back together with Edward because she knew that it would make me happy. It was like she was reading off of a list of his positive points, including how much he had clearly matured. When I began to express the same concerns I have had since the moment he showed back in Forks, she was quick to jump on me about being so pessimistic.

"You claim to have forgiven him Bella, but you don't act like it. You say you want him, but you won't do anything about it. Perhaps Edward is the only one who has grown up." I let out a groan and I then heard Jasper talking to Alice in the background and she apologized for snapping at me before she ended our call, promising to talk to me about it more when she saw me later in the week.

When Wednesday rolled around, Edward showed up to tend to the garden, knowing full well that I couldn't do it with my busted wrist. I was sitting in the backyard, laying in a lounge chair that Charlie had fished out of the garage and trying to read my notes for my nursing exam as I enjoyed the sun for the first time in a long while.

"So I talked to Alice the other night," I shouted out to Edward as he moved his forearm against his head to draw away the sweat that had formed.

"Oh really. How is she doing?"

"She told me she gave you my list. Well, I sorta had to pry it out of her," I replied nervously as Edward looked at me with wide eyes before moving closer. "I'm not mad though."

"Seriously? I would have thought you would have beaten me over the head with a shovel," he laughed as he sat down on the picnic table across from me, and began looking at me intensely. "I didn't want to take it from her, just so you know, but I was grasping at straws. All I wanted was to make some sort of headway with you. To show you that I'm not the same guy I was years ago." Edward looked so serious, with the sun behind him, beating down against his back. I had to force back a smile as he pulled off his shirt and used it to wipe his brow.

"Yeah, seriously. I talked to Alice and I know she had the best of intentions and I'm sure you did too, so I'm not upset."

"I'm shocked."

_You're also gorgeous. It's obvious that running seems to agree with you._ I couldn't peel my eyes away from his chest, noticing that it was a lot more defined than it had been when we were younger. His calves were also nice and enticing, and clearly time had been kind to him. I shook my head of the dirty thoughts that were coming forth and reminded myself I was trying to be mature about our situation.

"So uhh… what are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing."

"Doyouwannagotothe movies with me?" I forced out quickly and awkwardly as I watched Edward's eyes grow with excitement. I was trying to give him hope and throw out an olive branch of sorts. I was relieved when he jumped at the chance.

"I would love it. What time were you thinking about? Did you know of a specific movie you wanted to see? Would you prefer to stay home since you wrist hurts?" Edward stammered nervously as I let out a small laugh.

"Breath Edward. It's just a movie. How about you pick me up around seven and we go from there? I'll look online later for movie times and we decide when you come to get me." Edward nodded his head enthusiastically before jumping from the table to finish the gardening. He insisted that he wanted to get it done as soon as he could so he could make it home with plenty of time to shower and change. Unfortunately for my studying, I spent the rest of the time he was in my yard watching his every move and contemplating what do to next.

Why was love always so damned frustrating?

**EPOV**

The moment Bella asked me out, my heart stopped. I was on the verge of calling for the paddles when she reminded me to breathe after I began muttering some random, off the cuff shit about plans for the night. I was suddenly a nervous wreck, and it wasn't like me at all. I felt more like the nervous high school kid than the cool and collected college student that I was.

When I ran into my parents' house, looking like a sweaty mess and completely out of breath, I found my mother sitting on the couch reading a book, which was not unusual since her leg was still in a cast. She and Bella made quite the interesting pair with their matching ailments.

"What's got you in such a panic?" she asked knowingly as she looked up from the pages of her book, dog-eared the corner and closed it. She was preparing herself for a long conversation that I was sad to tell her wasn't going to happen.

"I have to go get ready; I have a date with Bella."

"A real date?"

"Yes. She asked me on the date, so I'm pretty sure it's real," I said with a small, annoyed huff.

"She asked you? I'm shocked and a little proud actually," said my mother with a huge smile. "Does she know you filed transfer papers?"

"Yeah, she knows. I don't think she cares if I was here or in New Hampshire though. Of course, I would prefer to be local of course." My mother nodded her head slowly before reopening her book on her lap. "I know you and Dad don't agree fully with my decision to come home, but it's for the best you know."

"Just don't push her Edward."

"I won't."

I practically ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time and going right into the bathroom, where I stripped excitedly and took a nice long shower, washing the remains of the day off of me. As soon as I got dressed in jeans and a clean t-shirt, I sat down and sorted through my emails for the first time in a while. I had way too many, so I deleted the junk and forwards before deciding to sort through the rest, finding nothing of consequence that needed my immediate attention. I had been trying to waste time and distract myself, but it wasn't happening.

I was a bundle of nerves, so I decided to go downstairs and relax with my mother for half an hour before I needed to leave to go to Bella's house. My mother did her best to try and calm me, but nothing could make my anxiety go away and as I walked towards Bella's front door a little while later, I seriously considered puking on her porch. This date was something I had thought about happening for over three years and now that the day was here, I wasn't as confident as I thought I would be.

"Hey Edward," said Charlie with a faint smile as he opened the front door and Sue was standing in the kitchen stirring something in a pot; it smelled delicious. She looked extremely comfortable in the house and I wondered why they would want to move into a new place when there was nothing wrong with this house, except for it being a little on the small side.

"Hi Sir… Chief… umm…"

"Just call me Charlie, Edward," he added as he motioned with his hand for me to come into the house. "Bella's almost ready, I think. Leah came over earlier and she was on the phone with Alice too. I think she's nervous."

"Bella's nervous?" I choked out with a laugh that I then failed to cover up as a cough. It was kinda funny how Bella held all the power in our current situation, yet she was nervous too. I watched Sue in the background, smiling from ear to ear and nodding her head in response to my question. Before I had a chance to say anything further, Leah skipped down the stairs happily followed by a rather slow moving Bella.

"You alright?" I questioned quietly as she came to stand beside me. "If you aren't feeling good or are tired or something, we don't have to do this tonight."

"I'm fine. I haven't worn a shoe with a heel in a while so I'm going slowly so I don't break the other wrist or ankle, or end up in a full body cast. Don't stress," she whispered in reply as I opened the door to lead her out. "Don't wait up."

"Not bloody likely," Charlie added with a frown as I followed Bella closely as we walked out of the house and down the stairs. When we got into the car, Bella listed off the names of the movies playing nearby and I jumped at the chance to take her to the drive in just outside of Port Angeles, simply because it reminded me of our first official date.

We decided to grab some take out from a small sandwich shop on the way and we ate in silence in the confines of the rental car before the movie began. Our conversations were strained at best, and not only were we both nervous, we were uncomfortable.

"This isn't how I saw this turning out at all," I said with a tentative smile in her direction as I balled up the paper that my sandwich was wrapped in and tossed into the paper bag from the store.

"How did you expect it to be?" Bella asked as her eyes shone with the same confusion and anxiety that mirrored my own. Had we been this nervous years ago on our first date? I couldn't remember, but if we were I had no idea why she went out with me in the first place.

"I think I had just hoped that we would go back into the easy rapport we used to have."

"Wow, there's an unreasonable expectation," Bella laughed lightly as I smiled at her. "Perhaps we just need to sit back and not put so much stress on us. It's just a movie. I'm not asking you to marry me or something epic like that."

"Phew," I said with a grin as I swiped at my brow in jest and Bella punched my shoulder playfully. Silence fell between us for a brief moment as I opened my mouth to say the first thing that came out. "So, the rental car goes away in a few days. Dad finally bought mom an Audi or something. It's not like she'll be driving it anytime soon though."

"How is your mom doing anyways?" Bella questioned curiously as she turned towards me in her seat, attempting to get comfortable. "I talked to her the other day and she seemed in good spirits."

"I think she's tired of being around the house doing virtually nothing. I help every chance I get, but sometimes my dad is a little too careful about her recovery. Sue visits a lot though," I added as I did my best to get comfortable in the conversation with her. It was hard though, especially because the small car was filled with her scent and she looked simply beautiful in her jeans, white top and her hair pulled back into a ponytail. I always thought Bella was gorgeous, but hers was more of an effortless and classic beauty, very much like my mother.

"Yeah, Sue and Esme got pretty close in the past few years. We used to do all sorts of fun things together; sometimes Leah would join us, but not that often. She always had work or something else to do. Then again, I don't think she really enjoyed the knitting or pottery classes we took, or the quilting bee we dragged her to once," Bella commented as we both turned towards the screen and noticed the movie was about to start.

"You and Leah are pretty close huh?"

"Yeah, she's like my sister from my second mother. However, I guess she will eventually be my step sister since I know Charlie is thinking about proposing."

"Really?"

"Yeah… I mean, it's been me and Charlie for a long time, but with Sue, she fits in with our little twosome effortlessly. Even Leah and Seth work with us, which is good. I think he'll be a bit sad when I move out, but he has Sue now."

"Well I'm happy for him. He's a tough guy, but he's been through a lot. I don't know how he managed to raise you by himself without cracking."

"Are you claiming I was a handful as a child?" Bella asked with a grin as I reached over and pushed some of her hair behind her ear.

"I would never claim that. You're an angel," I said in a whisper as we stared at each other for a few moments before a loud bang on the screen signaling the opening pulled us both from our thoughts. I could only hope that her thoughts were on the same wave length as me. I didn't want to push her or rush anything, but every one of my memories of our time together was 10 times more intense now.

The movie officially started, so Bella and I got comfortable in our seats and tried our best to pay attention to the drama that was unfolding on the screen. However, I couldn't take my eyes off her hands that were fiddling nervously in her lap. More often than not, I found my eyes moving up her body and focusing on the soft curve of her neck or the small tendrils of hair that hung loose from her ponytail.

After almost half an hour, Bella called me out on the fact that I wasn't watching the movie. "Why did you pay all this money to watch a movie you weren't planning to watch?"

"Cause I wanted to spend time with you. I would have spent five times as much if I had to."

"I have to admit Edward; you've clearly matured since we were together back in high school."

"Thanks," I uttered slowly in response as I felt Bella's fingers slide over the back of my hand on the console between our seats. This was a major moment for me, because I suddenly turned into a huge pussy and I knew she wanted to hold my hand, but her cast was preventing it, and that was such a positive step forward for us. "I've been thinking about kissing you all night."

"Why haven't you?"

"It's simple; I don't want to blow this. I want to spend the next sixty years of our lives together; making up for my childish mistakes that I never in a million years thought you would forgive me for. You make me want to be a better person, and that means being someone with patience."

I was about to say something else to reiterate the fact that I was trying so hard to be a patient and mature guy, but Bella turned in her seat and grabbed my face with her free hand, pulling me towards her and pressing her lips to mine. "Patience is sometimes over rated you know."

No shit.

I reached up tentatively and stroked her cheek with my hand before kissing her again, my lips fighting against hers for control. The entire situation was made infinitely worse when Bella let out a small little moan of arousal, one that I had known so well from our time together and had haunted my dreams for the past three and a half years. "You can't do that."

"I can't do what? Kiss you?" Bella asked with a hint of sadness to her voice. "I believe you said you wanted to kiss me and now you don't? I'm utterly confused Edward."

I grabbed both her cheeks in my hands and kissed her again, my tongue snaking out and running against her bottom lip, urging her to open so I could taste her. She complied and then she moaned again, so I pulled back. "You can't do that… the moan. You have no idea what that moan does to me. How long I have thought about hearing that moan again?"

Bella launched herself across the small car and landed in my lap with a thud, smacking her cast against my head, which made both of us groan in pain. "That wasn't good," Bella said with an awkward laugh as she adjusted herself until she was straddling me and it looked like the steering wheel was digging slightly into her back. I leaned forward, wrapping my arm around her waist as I reached under the seat with my hand to pull the lever which pushed the chair back. We flung back rather quickly and Bella was suddenly resting against my chest, her hair buried under my nose.

"I'm not complaining about this position."

"Of course you're not. I'm rubbing up against your dick and you get to sniff me as you hold me tight against your chest. What's not to like Cullen," laughed Bella playfully.

"Are you complaining?"

"No."

"Good. Now shut your pie hole and just let me snuggle with you for a bit, because this movie is simply horrible. Why the hell did you choose it?" I asked curiously as my hand went to the back of Bella's head and I began stroking her hair slowly.

"Maybe tonight turned out exactly like I wanted it to," Bella said with a small sigh before she turned her head up slightly and kissed the bottom of my chin.

"I was just thinking the same thing."

**A/N: So yeah, this chapter was originally meant to bring back Rosalie and Emmett, but it sorta took on a mind of its own. I hope you didn't mind. Also, I had intended to end this story around chapter 35, but since I've outlined the next two chapters and it's nowhere close to being finished yet, I'm thinking 38 or 39 is the proper number.**

**On a different note, due to mid-terms that Flightlessbird11 failed to inform me about, Maybe I'm Falling For You will probably be delayed by a few days. So, we've been nice and put a teaser over on my blog at coldplaywhore (dot) blogspot (dot) com. Remove the brackets for proper punctuation, you know how it works. **


	34. My Reunion

**A/N: Happy New Moon DVD Release Eve! Before you ladies all go stand out in line to get your midnight release copy, or while you are ALREADY standing in line and reading this on your crackberry, here's a lovely chapter to keep you busy.**

**Super Mega Gigantic thanks to my beta MaggieMay14 and all my lovely pre-readers for their advice and friendship. You girls rock – Flightlessbird11 (rec'd on the Fictionators today and up for an Indie TwiFic Award, go vote people), Risbee, Beegurl13, TwiOthGirly and TillyWhitlock.**

**If you were expecting this chapter sooner today, blame Flightlessbird11 who spend the last hour and a half bitching to me about Emancipation Proclamation and asking me for help finding a fluffy fic. Send me your fluffy fic recs, completed only, so she can shut the hell up.**

**I don't own Twilight; tomorrow I will own New Moon on DVD.**

**EPOV**

"Are you dressing up for this dinner?" my mother called from the downstairs living room, where she was still perched on the couch. She had now taken to reading some teenage vampire books that Sue had loaned her to read when she had worked through almost everything else we had in the house with words on it. I swear I caught her reading the side of her box of Grape Nuts a little too intently this morning.

"No, I'm not dressing up. We're meeting at the diner, not Il Fornello," I called back to her as I grabbed a blue button down from the closet and rolled up the sleeves slightly. I was already wearing my favorite pair of jeans and I took a pair of sneakers from the back and slipped them on before looking at the clock again. If I didn't pick the pace up, I knew I was going to be late.

I had been on the phone way too long with James discussing potential move ideas earlier in the day. I wasn't ready to run back to New Hampshire until I had confirmed that my transfer had been accepted, because it was just stupid to put the cart before the horse, as my father reminded me repeatedly. When I ran downstairs, I grabbed the keys to my mother's new Audi that was delivered that morning and waved to my father, who was just home from visiting a patient at the hospital, as he passed me going into the house.

I was at Bella's house in record time and she was sitting out on the front porch with Scrappy by her side, both of them looking very content and I couldn't help but think that my arrival and our newfound reconnection was a part of it. "You look good," I stated simply as I walked towards her front door and Bella stood up, with Scrappy running towards me and sniffing around me like he usually did. I made a mental note to bring him a treat next time, not that I needed any more help since the dog already liked me way more than he ever liked Jacob.

"Thanks, you too," Bella said sweetly as I gave her a gentle hug and a kiss on the cheek, unsure exactly where to go with us now. Thankfully, before I could pull away, Bella leaned up on her tip toes and gave me a kiss on the lips and I was glad she took the initiative. "You taste like toothpaste."

"Wouldn't that be a good thing?"

"Definitely," she said as she glided her finger across my bottom lip and I resisted the urge to suck it into my mouth. We were definitely not there yet and I could wait till we were; I wasn't in a rush. "Let me just put Scrappy into the house and we can go." I nodded and then made my way back over to the car, before turning around and leaning against the passenger door as I waited. When Bella came down the steps, a slight bounce in her walk, I smiled brightly before opening the door for her and helping her in. She looked great in her jean skirt and soft white tank top, and literally took my breath away.

The conversation in the car over to the diner was a little bit strained, but it wasn't for Bella's lack of trying. I was just a gigantic ball of nerves about seeing Rosalie. However, little did I know that another blast from our past was going to come back to haunt us. The moment Bella and I walked in the door of the diner we ran into Peter Green, the former linebacker for the Forks High football team and Bella's date to homecoming. I immediately tensed up the moment I saw him because he looked at Bella so warmly before looking to me with disdain.

"Bella," Peter said happily as he immediately pulled her into a hug and I reached over and grabbed her hand, entwining our fingers. "Wow… you are still with Cullen. I'm a little surprised; I thought you guys broke up in high school?"

"We did," Bella stated seriously as I felt her grip tighten around my fingers, showing she was supporting me. "We've actually been apart for three long years, but we're together again." My face no doubt grew with excitement as she confirmed for Peter that we were together. Maybe tonight was going to be decent after all, I thought to myself as I glanced back at Peter quickly.

"Well good for you guys. You look good Bella, time has certainly agreed with you," Peter said stoically as he eyed me up, no doubt thinking I wasn't good enough for Bella, not that I cared about what he thought about me. I didn't care on Homecoming night when I told Bella I wanted to date her and I certainly didn't care now.

"You look good too. What have you been up to?" Bella questioned as I suddenly felt like I was just a fly on the wall of their conversation. Peter never acknowledged my existence after his first surprised comment about me and being Bella being together. I didn't hold it against Bella though, she tried to work me into the conversation, but Peter always changed the topic.

They chatted amiably about what they had both been up to; he was studying English at Cornell and was home for his older brother's wedding. Thankfully before they could exchange numbers or email addresses, his mom wandered over and reminded him they needed to get to a tuxedo fitting before the store closed. I may have also laughed at him while his mother lectured him about always being late. I waved goodbye to him with a huge smile on my face and suddenly the prospect of seeing Rosalie wasn't that daunting.

We were the first to arrive, so Bella and I grabbed the long table at the back of the diner, sat beside each other and started talking casually about things we could do during the summer. Bella mentioned camping, which made me do a double take, but then she insisted on an air mattress and one of those fancy ass tents, which made more sense to me because she never seemed like a simple camping kind of girl. Just as we were discussing other events, like hitting the Port Angeles Renaissance Fair which Bella informed me that she had wanted to do for almost forever, Jasper and Alice walked in.

Once they had gotten comfortable at the table, the air grew thicker around us. "Are you ready for this?" asked Jasper as he nudged me softly and our waitress came over and took their drink orders.

"I feel like I am heading to a firing squad. I'm not worried about Emmett, but Rosalie… man, she hates my guts."

"If it helps at all, Alice talked to her this week and tried to talk you up. She said you and I had reconnected, but never mentioned you were in town," Jasper commented.

"Oh and how did that go?"

"Not well. Sorry man," Jasper said with a small, supportive smile. The very next moment a bell sounded over the front door of the diner and we all lifted our heads up from our menus to find Emmett and Rosalie walking in. Rose still acted like she owned the place and I briefly wondered if this was some façade she had built up solely for Forks. She couldn't be so full of herself in California, could she?

I stayed seated, unsure of what to do next, and I felt Bella's hand gently grip my thigh in reassurance. I glanced over at her and stared deeply, resolving myself to face the terror head on because I was doing it for her.

"Holy shit," Emmett exclaimed in surprise as he walked around the table and clapped me firmly on the back. He looked almost the same as he did the last time I saw him. He maybe had added an extra 10 pounds or so, but it looked like it was all muscle. I was a little envious if I was being honest. "Good to see you man. I'm shocked to see you here. Rosie told me about your mom. I'm sorry man." I stood up and gave him one of those half hug guy things and thanked him.

"It's okay man. She's doing really well, albeit a little bored at home because of her cast. She's actually glad it happened because it brought me home for the summer and possibly longer," I stated as I looked down at Bella briefly to find her smiling brightly at me. I turned my head slightly and saw Rosalie walk beside Emmett, her arm wrapping around his waist tightly. "It's wonderful to see you again Rosalie."

"Can the shit Cullen. Why didn't any of you tell me he was going to be here?" Rosalie snapped as she looked between Alice and Bella quickly, alternating between the two, as her eyes narrowed in frustration. "Have I ever enjoyed surprises?"

"Would you have come?" questioned Jasper boldly as he finished his handshake with Emmett, who literally looked excited to be reunited with all of us.

"Not fucking likely. Emmett, let's go." Rosalie turned on her heel and was in the process of storming out when Bella, of all people, stopped her.

"Sit your ass down Rosalie Hale," she shouted out as all of the patrons in the diner turned around to see the commotion. I put my hand on Bella's shoulder and tried to calm her as best as I could.

"Bella, don't freak out. We all knew Rosalie wasn't going to approve of this," I said sullenly as I felt her arm reach around my waist and I pulled her against me in response. She was supporting me, and I honestly couldn't have been happier at that moment. "If she wants me to go, I'll go. I didn't want to ruin this reunion for any of you."

"This? What the hell is THIS?" Rosalie stated angrily as she pointed between the two of us, clearly unable to determine what the hell was going on at first. I thought steam was doing to pour from her ears and when she shoved Emmett away when he tried to console her, we all knew this wasn't going to be good. "Are you dating him again? Do you forget exactly what happened all those years ago Bella? He left you when you needed him most. You were fucking dying."

"Do I look dead to you?" Bella yelled angrily at her as our waitress appeared at that moment and wanted to order drinks for Emmett and Rosalie. Em immediately ordered a beer and Rosalie insisted she wasn't staying long enough to drink anything, and waved the waitress away. "Rosalie, you know I love you, but there were extenuating circumstances surrounding what happened."

"You sound like a lawyer Bella," Alice added in, trying to lighten the mood, but Rosalie simply turned her wrath towards her for the moment instead.

"You knew about this didn't you? How many times did I tell you over the phone that I was so glad Bella had Jacob in her life because he was better for her than Edward? How many times did you agree with me that Bella was better without him?" Alice looked at Rosalie remorsefully and looked like she was about to cry. I was further surprised when Rosalie finally sat down in a seat at the end of the table and glared at all of us. "You leaving made Bella cry for weeks on end. Then you up and disappear to Dartmouth and don't even have the fucking heart to tell her you were leaving. You're an asshole Edward Cullen."

"Duly noted," I said with a small smile as Bella smacked me upside the head. "However, in my defense, I never cheated on Bella. A few weeks ago we discovered Jacob had been cheating on her with the girl who runs the flower shop downtown, so don't tell me that Jacob was better for her, because he's not." I felt Bella squeeze my leg again, now that we had all taken our chairs and I took comfort in her support.

"Speaking of Jacob," began Bella quietly as my hand clutched her shoulder and she looked back at Rosalie. "He also sabotaged Edward's attempts to talk to me when I was in the hospital, and those flowers you loved so much that I got for Valentine's Day… they did not come from Jacob. He was manipulating all of us, but me most of all. I was so stupid." Bella looked down at her fingers and I knew she was chastising herself internally and I knew it wasn't her fault we had come to this point.

"You weren't stupid. I should have tried harder and not been so stubborn," I said as I entwined my fingers in hers and she looked at me with a gentle smile. It had been a rough road to get Bella and me to this point, but when she smiled at me, it was completely worth it. "I was immature and childish and because of it we wasted so much time apart."

"Oh this is horseshit. You two are acting like nothing ever happened," Rosalie stammered in frustration, as she put her hands on the table and began to twist her purse in anger. "Regardless of how it happened, it still happened. He left you high and dry. He wasn't there consoling you every day as you cried about being alone and he didn't help you through your chemo appointments Bella. He did nothing."

"He tried…" Bella forced out as Emmett caught us all off guard and interrupted her.

"Ro, can't you see that Bella is happy again? When was the last time you saw her smile like that?" Emmett questioned sincerely as I shot him a glance of support, which he acknowledged quickly. "If Edward makes her happy, then isn't that the most important thing? Who gives a shit about what happened in the past? My Momma McCarty always said 'Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.'"

"Actually that was Albert Schweitzer and just how does that apply here?" I asked curiously.

"Who said it isn't important. What is important is that Bella is healthy, doesn't give a shit about the past and is clearly happy. It makes sense to me anyways," Emmett finished before taking a big gulp of his drink.

"Are you happy Bella?" Rosalie turned to Bella and looked at her with all seriousness. Her blonde hair was perfectly pulled back into a tight ponytail and she looked more than a business woman, than a woman going into her final year of college. She was missing the relaxed air of a college student, not that I was overly relaxed at that moment, but the past three years had aged her ten.

"I am," she replied as she held my hand that was still resting on her shoulder.

"Well fuck. There goes my fun, relaxing vacation home for two weeks. Bella, can I talk to you outside for a moment?" asked Rosalie, her voice finally even and calm, which concerned me more than anything else. I looked down at Bella and she simply nodded her head slowly before standing up and following Rosalie out of the restaurant.

We could see them through the front window, clearly arguing again, and Rosalie's hands were raised in frustration on more than one occasion. "Well, that went better than I thought it would," commented Alice simply, with a huge smile on her face.

"How is this good?" I replied.

"Well, Rosalie had access to all sorts of cutlery and knives. The fact that you made it out without a scratch to your pretty little face or any blood being shed is a positive sign," she added with a small laugh. I however, didn't feel like it was a funny situation at all. Until I saw Bella and Rosalie hugging outside the front window and my stress eased up a little bit.

**BPOV**

When I stood outside with Rosalie, her hands on her hips and her eyes boring holes into my skull, I feared what would happen. However, she surprised me beyond words.

"Why didn't you tell me that Jake cheated on you?" she asked as she raised her hands in frustration. She was right though. She was one of my best friends, why the hell hadn't I mentioned it to her? Probably because I had been so wrapped up in my own issues involving me and Edward that I hadn't taken the time to talk to her. "Do you realize how I feel being left in the dark about all this shit? You broke up with Jacob, you have fucking reunited with Edward and everyone in this podunk fucking town knows except me?"

"Honestly, it kinda skipped my mind when we talked. I swear to god I'm not broken up about not being with Jacob and this thing between Edward and me… it's not some rebound shit." Rosalie nodded her head at me and urged me to continue, even though she still didn't look pleased. "When Edward walked into the hospital after his mother's accident, I had no intention of forgiving him, but honestly, I wasn't happy in my relationship with Jacob. We were going nowhere, he was pressuring me for things I wasn't ready to give him and he just saw… well he saw a lot more than I did in our future. When I look back on it all know, I don't even know why I was with him Rosalie. Then at the hospital, Edward insisted on talking to me and he explained his situation. The more he explained to me, the more we realized that Jacob had been manipulating both of us when I had been sick."

I let out a huge sigh and hoped to god I was making some sort of headway with Rosalie. I felt remorse for how things were going down at the diner, but I couldn't help but think that this was my life to live, not hers. I had to do things my way.

"Who does that? Who uses someone's illness to their benefit?" Rosalie stammered in fury.

"Jacob does apparently. However, I don't want to talk about him anymore. He's out of my life and Edward is in it."

"Oh, and are you and Edward going to do the long distance thing when he goes back to Dartmouth in two months? Where's the logic in that Bella? He's gonna go back to Dartmouth and continue fucking anything with two legs, because you know he wasn't a damn monk while he was away." I sighed briefly before telling her what Edward had told me about his sexual escapades at Dartmouth. I didn't hold it against him though. We weren't together and he was trying to move on with his life, no matter how unsuccessful he had been.

"If we have to date long distance," I said with another small sigh. "Then yeah, I'll do it. He applied for a transfer to UW though, so hopefully he should be in Seattle rather than Hanover, New Hampshire."

"Seattle is still three hours away Bella. Are you going to go visit him after long days at work? Is he gonna drive down on the weekends and play sleepover at your fathers' house?" she added with a smug grin that I wanted to wipe off of her face.

"We haven't ironed out all the details. Why can't you just be happy for me?"

"What happened to your wrist?" she questioned as I looked down, having completely forgotten the large white plaster object hanging around me. I had been so wrapped up in trying to get her to see my side of things, the thought of it had fallen by the wayside. "Who the hell do I have to shank for that? Was it Jacob, because right now I'm not against murdering the little piece of shit and I'm sure Emmett wouldn't be against digging a hole for me to put his body in."

"I fell the other day and Edward took me to the hospital. It's just a broken wrist, nothing major. There is no one you need to maim to make up for my stupidity," I said casually as Rosalie looked into the diner and stared at Emmett. The look of frustration turned into one of happiness as she looked at the man who clearly held the key to her heart. "He seems happy to see Edward."

"They rarely talked," she said quietly as she continued to look through the window. They were wrapped up in their own conversation that they were not focused on us. "I'm sure I'm partly to blame for that though. I know they emailed every now and again, but Emmett is loyal to a fault when it comes to me."

"It's called love."

"Thanks Dr. Phil. Edward looks at you like Emmett looks at me you know," Rosalie added as I looked back to her anxiously. "If you are serious about making it work with him, that's a good thing." My heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest as I realized that she was finally coming to terms with me and Edward. This was definitely a good thing.

"I know," I replied as Rosalie hugged me tightly, being careful not to smack my cast. "I'm following my heart and my gut. I never stopped loving him, even though I didn't particularly like him."

Rosalie pulled away and draped her arm over my shoulder before leading us back into the diner. "I'm madly in love with Emmett, but I don't like him most of the time," she laughed happily as she opened the door and ushered me inside. I took my seat next to Edward and just nodded my head quietly when he looked at me like he was expecting Rosalie's head to spin around or something.

Instead, she simply looked at Edward with narrowed eyes. "I'll be watching you," she said with a mock threat as I leaned towards him and began to whisper in his ear.

"She's coming around. Don't worry about Rosalie," I explained to him as his entire body seemed to calm and our waitress came back over, sensing the shift in our table and began to take our orders.

Once we were all comfortable, drinks in hand and much more relaxed than we had been when we walked in, Alice began yammering on incessantly about her wedding. On more than one occasion there was a collective groan that floated around the table when she was talking about floral arrangements. Hell, even Jasper groaned, but I think he had to listen to it way more often than the rest of us did.

When our food finally arrived, we all breathed a sigh of relief and eagerly started on our dinner. "So, guess who we bumped into when we got here?" I asked of our friends as I noticed Edward roll his eyes. "Peter Green."

"Peter as in linebacker and your homecoming date, Peter?" asked Alice curiously as I nodded my head.

"One in the same."

"How did he look?" asked Rosalie as she took a small bite out of her gargantuan salad. I heard Edward grumble unhappily beside me and decided not to make too big of a deal out of everything.

"Meh… the same as he did in high school. It's not like he grew pork chop side burns or a mullet," I said with a laugh. "Edward here went all possessive on me… again, and I felt like we were back in high school when Peter tried to ask me out the Monday after the dance."

"He was eyeing you up like you were his damn dinner Bella," Edward finally forced out, his voice laced with venom and contempt for Peter.

"You mean like you are eyeing her up right now?" countered Jasper with a grin.

"Yeah," said Edward quickly as he turned his head towards Jazz, having finally caught what he just said. "No wait… I'm not doing that."

"Yes you are," added Emmett as he patted Edward on the back and simply grinned at him from ear to ear. I was glad to see Emmett still had his cocky personality and that time hadn't changed him at all. "I'm guessing you guys are that 'you haven't done it yet' stage, huh?"

"Emmett," I chastised him as Rosalie smacked his head rather hard. He reached up and began to rub his sore head, but didn't look remorseful.

"You keep this up and you won't be getting any soon either," Rosalie added as Emmett growled and then quickly apologized to me. "Anyways, so you were saying Peter Green looked the same huh? He always did have a nice ass."

Thankfully for the guys at our table, Alice decided to change the conversation and suggested that we all go dancing after dinner. She gushed on and on about a new place in Port Angeles and even though I was a bit reluctant to go because of my hand, I agreed anyways. Then again, Rosalie and Alice wouldn't have let me get away with not going now that I was kind of dating Edward again. We hadn't defined our relationship, unless you counted what I said to Peter outside of the diner to discourage him from asking me out, but I liked where things were going, so I decided not to stress about it. We weren't there yet.

We walked into 'Burn' just after nine and Alice immediately dragged Jasper out onto the dance floor as Rosalie, Emmett, Edward and I found a table near the back of the club in a fairly secluded spot. Edward and I both chose not to drink; Edward because he was driving us home and I just didn't feel like it to be honest. So instead we sat beside each other, my right hand entwined tightly in his left, and we talked over the music with Rosalie and Emmett for a bit, until they went up to dance. It was country music night at the club, so Rosalie was completely in her element, line dancing around the floor like crazy.

"Did you wanna go dance?" Edward asked curiously as his hand found its way to my bare knee and he was stroking it slowly, as though he was testing my limits or something.

"With you or just in general?"

"With me."

"Sure, I'd love to dance with you," I replied simply as Edward stood up and reached for my hand. He led me onto the dance floor and the song that was playing finished and then faded into a slow one. Edward wrapped his arm around my waist as I did the same with my cast covered hand and he took my right hand in his. "This song is a wee bit familiar."

Edward let out a small laugh as 'Then' by Brad Paisley came over the speakers and he pulled me closer to him as I rested my head on his shoulder. We moved silently, both of our bodies fitting together like matching puzzle pieces as a smile crossed my face.

As the song drew to a close, I pulled back slightly from him and stood on my tip toes to kiss him. His hand swept along my cheek ever so softly, before threading behind my head and pulling me closer to him as his lips descended on mine. It was tender and gentle, very different from the fevered kisses from the other night in the drive-in, but it was perfect. For the first time in a VERY long time, I felt like I belonged somewhere.

I belonged with Edward.


	35. My Rejection

**A/N: I'm back, and much sooner than I actually thought I would be. Huge love to the girls on Twitter who were encouraging / forcing me to finish this chapter and post it tonight. I love you girls!**

**Big love to my beta, MaggieMay14 and my fabulous pre-readers Risbee, Flightlessbird11 (an Indie TwiFic Award Winner btw!!! Congrats BB!!) Beegurl13, TwiOthGirly and TillyWhitlock. All your encouragement and kind words led this chapter to be almost 1k longer than I initially sent it to you at. Fuck, I'm getting wordy.**

**Anywhoo, I don't own Twilight. I also don't own New Moon yet since the mail hasn't delivered it to me. Damn you USPS **raises fists in anger like an 85 year old man** Enough of my madness, onto the show.**

**EPOV**

The next month was full of surprises, both good and bad. I spent as much time as possible with Bella, when she wasn't studying for her licensing exam which was coming up quicker than I realized. She was due to take her final test on Thursday afternoon and that Friday we were going away camping for the weekend, just the two of us, which I was looking forward to beyond words.

We spent a lot of time just hanging out, watching movies and generally getting reacquainted as much as we could. Sometimes we were interrupted by Leah, who wanted to hang out and bitch about the guy she was dating, Quil, but most of the time it was just the two of us. Rosalie and Emmett had gone back to California the week before, but while they were in town we saw them all the time. Emmett and I had gotten back our groove and we promised to keep in touch a hell of a lot more often than we had in the past few years. Rosalie still looked at me with disdain, and had threatened my manhood on more than a few occasions if I did anything else to hurt Bella, but I think that by the time they headed back, she was starting to believe that I really did love her best friend more than anything.

Bella loved hanging out with my mother, more than I thought natural, but who was I to complain. So a few times a week she would come over and spend time with my mom for a while reading with her, helping her with cooking or even doing a little bit of gardening since my mother still wasn't mobile, before we would go out and do something together. I really did love the fact that Bella and my mother got along so well, but I couldn't help but feel like I was losing valuable time with her. Time we should have been using to move forward in our newly reconnected relationship.

Even though Bella and I weren't moving forward as quickly as I would have liked, I still cherished every moment we spent together and I chose to focus on the fact that we were together, and not apart, because that really was the most important thing to me. However, I seemed to have this inane ability to think with the head in my pants, rather than the head on my shoulders, where Bella was concerned lately. Of course, being with her the day she got her belly button piercing didn't help alleviate matters at all. In fact, all it did was make my situation worse and I walked out of there with a throbbing hard on that I had to relieve in the shower the moment I got home. Esme was starting to notice my situation a little too often, and kept commenting on the lack of hot water in the house. I felt like I was fourteen again and that I had no self control. It was embarrassing as hell.

"_That looks like it's going to be painful babe. Couldn't you have chosen something else?" I asked Bella with concern as she leaned back in the chair and looked at me with a frustrated expression on her face._

"_Edward, I've wanted this forever. It's not like I expected it to be licked on by puppies or some shit. I'm ready for the pain," she said stoically as she held her shirt up to just under her breasts and my breath hitched._

_Allen, the guy on the stool in front of her tried to reassure her, but I think he was mainly talking to me, as he prepped her to get a belly button pierced. He was doing a really good job of keeping his eyes on her belly button and nowhere else, but I think he sensed he was dealing with a jealous boyfriend. Surely he got that a lot in his line of work. Alice had offered to go with her, but Bella asked me to come, and for a future doctor, I was squirming._

"_Ouch, that looks… "_

"_Oh shut it Edward. You'll think it's hot when it's healed," Bella said as I moved beside her and stroked her hair softly. As much as I was having issues with her getting the piercing, she was right, it would look so fucking hot when it was done. I had visions of running my tongue around her belly button and tugging the small hoop as my fingers teased her clit. Not that we had gotten anywhere close to that lately, but my imagination tended to get away from me way too often these days._

_I shook my head of the dirty thoughts as I tried to adjust myself without calling too much attention to my situation. "Why couldn't you have 'Get a Puppy' on your list?" I questioned as Bella looked up at me and smiled brightly._

"_Cause I already have a puppy. Except now he's a full sized German Shepherd and he ate your Dartmouth shorts the other day."_

"_He did?" I asked incredulously as Bella broke out into laughter that caused Allen to rest his hand on her stomach to get her to stop. Of course, I just bristled with jealousy as I watched him touch her, but I withheld the urge to be a complete fucking asshole about it all. However, I wanted my hands to be gently stroking her bare stomach, not his. Mind you, his was for work and mine would definitely be for nothing work related._

"_I told you not to leave them behind when you showered the other day after our hike," she replied with a smug grin and I kissed her to shut her up._

"_I thought you might have liked to have them."_

"_You are right. All women want their boyfriend's sweaty shorts," she commented with a roll of her eyes and a giggle._

"_Okay, seriously stop moving or I'm gonna have to put a 3 inch wide ring in here," said Allen as I zipped my lip and Bella did the same, both of us throwing away the key, as we acted like stupid children. Everything we seemed to do these days made us feel more like a couple in our early twenties, which we were, rather than the people in our mid thirties we had been acting like recently, and I was more than happy to be so relaxed and easy going with her now._

It was the wisdom of my mother that actually reminded us that even though we were mature, we didn't have to act like we were something we weren't. So Bella and I had been spending the past few weeks managing to find a good balance between mature and childish. Case in point, our visit to the local renaissance fair where Bella insisted we dress in costume. There was $200 gone down the drain for the outfits we rented.

Bella ended up dressing like a beer wench, or a St. Pauli girl depending on who you asked, and I wore some cheesy ass shirt with a fabric belt and these hideous brown pants that itched for the entire damn day. The entire day I felt the urge to hand Bella my shirt so she could cover up her breasts that were spilling out of her top, because it seemed like half the guys in the place were eyeing her up. However, I figured if I was going shirtless, the other half of the guys would be ogling me, so I ended up buying Bella a knitted shawl and claimed it was getting a bit cool for the July afternoon. I think she got suspicious, but she did it anyways.

As we walked around the fair grounds, Bella had us talking like we would if we really were in the sixteenth century and I had to admit, it annoyed me to no end, but I did it for her because I loved her. So every fifteen minutes I would ask her 'How Now?' to see if she was enjoying herself, and also to see if I would get her to stop speaking oddly. She just found it more entertaining and knew damn well it bugged me. We eventually got into the swing of things and the other people attending the fair laughed at us because we didn't speak properly and we kept asking them where the bathroom was, but we had fun regardless. We drank weird drinks, ate chicken legs and danced like silly fools. Bella even let me buy her a small necklace at one of the booths, that I helped her put on, kissing the side of her neck in the process, and feeling her shiver beneath my touch.

The entire day was very casual and fun, until it turned dark and the tavern pub sing began. Bella offered to drive home, and I happened to get a little bit wasted and sing with the rest of the noblemen and women. It was when Bella had to literally pour me in the car to get us home.

"_You know I love you right," I said drunkenly as I pulled off the sash at my waist and threw it in the back seat of my mother's car, which we had borrowed for the occasion. I had actually been driving around town until I heard back from UW about my transfer, unsure of what to do with my stuff that was still in New Hampshire._

"_Yeah, you may have mentioned it twenty times in the last um… ten minutes," she said with a giggle as she helped me buckle my seat belt before we started out of the parking lot, waiting patiently in the long line of cars trying to leave the grounds._

"_Do you love me Bella?" I asked as I lifted my hand to paw at her shoulder like a complete imbecile._

"_Edward…" she said gently as the car moved forward slightly in time with the traffic. Bella waited for a moment and let a car merge in front of her. _

"_You don't have to answer me Bella. I know you love me, Alice told me so."_

"_You shouldn't always bet on Alice, Edward," she replied simply as my stomach and heart lurched at the same time. I wasn't sure if I was going to run back to New Hampshire to get away from her or roll down the window and throw up the chicken and potatoes I had consumed for dinner. "That didn't come out as I meant it to. I just… I've really enjoyed the weeks we've spent together, but I'm nervous."_

"_Nervous about what? Do you have heartburn too? I have heartburn."_

"_No, no heartburn Edward. I'm worried about what will happen if your transfer doesn't get accepted. It seems like it has taken a long time, don't you think?" she questioned me as I looked at her with a quirked eye brow and suddenly got a huge smell of something extremely foul. Before I could stop myself, I was opening the passenger side door and throwing up violently. "No more booze for you."_

I felt like shit for the rest of the night and Bella actually had to have Carlisle help her bring me into my parents house and then he drove her home, since I had picked her up to go to the festival. I felt like a complete ass the next day, but Bella reassured me that she wasn't mad. However, we never did discuss what would happen if my transfer was rejected, and she never told me she loved me. Not that I expected her too, but it was just wishful thinking on my part.

On the Thursday of Bella's exam, I was supposed to most of the day packing and organizing things for our camping trip. There were sleeping bags, the tent, an air mattress and so many little cooking utensils and things I was certain we wouldn't need, but my mother was insistent. Thankfully, we already had most of the things we needed at the house, but I did have to go pick up a few more things down at Newton's Outfitters. However, I decided that another stop was in order first.

I left the house at ten in the morning and headed to Main Street, and grabbed a bunch of gerbera daisies at the flower shop in the heart of downtown. I was thankful that Nessie wasn't working, so that a scene didn't have to be made, because I was still livid at that stupid girl. I grabbed some bagels and cream cheese from the store two doors down from the flower shop and then drove over to Bella's intent on surprising her before she had to leave for her test at noon.

When I arrived, the front door was unlocked, but there appeared to be no one home. I let myself in and Scrappy jumped up excitedly on me, so I rested the flowers and bagels on the counter. He led me to the back door and it was clear he needed to get some business done, so I guided him down the stairs and tied him to his rather massive leash in the backyard to let him roam free for a bit while I went in to find Bella.

Of course, as I climbed the stairs I began to get anxious that something was wrong. I had an ominous feeling in my bones, but boy was I fucking wrong. The moment I hit the top step, Bella walked out of the bathroom, her towel dried hair hanging loosely down her bare shoulders and she was holding up the towel around her body very carefully, but when she saw me, she let out a loud shriek and dropped the towel absentmindedly.

"Oh My God," she shouted out as she just stood there frozen and my eyes ran the length of her body appraisingly. Fuck, she looked good. Her body was slightly tanned, very tone and oh so appealing. The ring in her belly button looked fantastic too, and I had to admit, it had featured in some of my dreams lately.

"Jesus," I muttered under my breath when I noticed that she was bare between her legs. I wanted to drop to my knees and thank the sweet lord for bringing her back to me. "I'm soooo fucking sorry," I said with a slight twinge of remorse for not announcing my arrival. I turned around swiftly as Bella bent down to pick up the towel and wrap it back around herself, tightly this time. "I really didn't think I was gonna catch you coming out of the shower. I came with bagels."

"Edward, it's fine really. I'm embarrassed but that's it. Can you go downstairs and I will meet you there in a few minutes, fully clothed?"

"Oh yeah, umm… yeah, I'll be downstairs," I said as I suddenly bolted down the stairs and into the small powder room on the main floor to adjust myself. I even tossed some cold water on my face to try and ease my discomfort, and then I started to think about puking after the renaissance festival, I slowly began to get myself under control. When Bella finally came down the stairs, I was walking out of the bathroom and feeling somewhat relaxed.

"I'm sorry about that again," I said as I motioned with my hand up the stairs and Bella just laughed.

"Don't worry about it. Where are these bagels you brought? I'm starving. I was up late doing some last minute studying and slept in a bit this morning," she admitted as I led her into the kitchen and I noticed she was smiling brightly at the flowers I had brought for her. "Good choice."

"Yeah well, I heard you like daisies."

"Only from you," she replied as she kissed my cheek before going to get a vase to put her flowers in. We then set to work in the tiny kitchen, toasting bagels and eating them together as I did my best to ease her nerves about the test. By the time I left to head over to Newton's, we had finished solidifying our plans for the next morning and she seemed downright excited to take her test. My day was going almost perfectly. Until I got home of course.

"Edward, there's an envelope for you from UW by the front door," my mother called out from the kitchen. She was now in a walking cast and was fairly mobile, even though my father rolled his eyes every time he saw her doing something.

I tossed my keys on the front table and picked up the envelope, knowing full well this was a make it or break it moment for me. I twirled the envelope between my fingers as I moved into the living room and sat down anxiously on the couch. My mind began reeling with all the best case scenarios, which involved me living in Seattle, spending each weekend with Bella at my apartment making love to her and eventually convincing her to move in with me so we could be together all the time. When my mother walked in the room a few minutes later, with her awkward looking walking boot on her foot, she looked elated.

"I'm guessing from the smile on your face you got the transfer?"

"I haven't opened it."

"Why not? Stop fretting over everything and just do it. Live in the moment Edward," she said wisely as she sat beside me and I tore open the end of envelope and blew into it gently to expand the envelope, before pulling the folded paper from within it.

My fingers literally trembled in anticipation as I unfolded the paper and began to read the first few paragraphs.

_Dear Mr. Cullen,_

_We regret to inform you that your application for transfer to the University of Washington was rejected due to insufficient time limitations. University protocol requires that we receive transfer applications at least four months prior to the start of the semester, unless there are extenuating circumstances. _

I couldn't even bother to read the rest of the letter, opting instead to hand it to my mother as I got up and headed up the stairs to my room, unable to face anyone at the moment.

What the hell was I going to do now?

**BPOV**

I was tired, in fact more tired than usual, but surprisingly the test went by really quickly on Thursday afternoon. I went out after the test with a few of the girls, Catherine and Michelle included, for a drink to celebrate the end of the testing. While we waited for our drinks, I sent Edward a quick text to let him know I was done and sticking around in Port Angeles a little bit longer. I was shocked when no text message came back in response. Even an hour later as I drove back to Forks, there was nothing.

I tried not to worry too much about it, figuring that Edward was probably just busy packing up the Jeep he had rented for the weekend with all of our camping gear. This morning when he had surprised me, he also mentioned going to pick up some general groceries for camping trip, and rather than stew about everything, I just went home and began to do the laundry and packing I had avoided during the past few days because I had been so busy studying my ass off.

I finally got everything done shortly before eleven, having walked Scrappy and made myself a quick dinner in the process. When I finally curled into bed, I found a text awaiting me that I hadn't seen earlier. It had come in just after ten, when I had been taking my shower, because Edward insisted he would be over early the next morning.

_I miss you –E_

I quick typed back a reply before cuddling into my bed and falling asleep contentedly.

_See you in a few hours xx – B_

When my alarm went off at six thirty the next morning, I stretched my hands over my head and groaned loudly. Why the hell had I agreed to this? Scrappy fidgeted sleepily on the end of my bed and slowly climbed down, waiting by the door for me to let him out. I cursed myself inwardly for agreeing to wake up so early as I went downstairs, smelling the sweet aroma of coffee and found Sue and Charlie sitting at the kitchen table talking quietly while they sipped on their coffees.

"Morning," I mumbled sleepily as Sue looked at me with a wide grin.

"You're up early Bella. I would have figured you would have slept all day now that your exam is over," Charlie said genuinely as there was a loud thump on the porch and Charlie stepped outside to grab the newspaper.

"Early bird gets the worm and all that stuff right? Edward is supposed to be here in an hour so we can get a jump on our camping trip," I said as I stood at the counter and poured some coffee into a mug, literally salivating at the prospect of letting the hot liquid course through my body. I needed the caffeine fix this morning. Hmm… I wonder if Edward would mind if I slept in the Jeep?

"I heard the weather is supposed to be wonderful this weekend, so you picked a great time to go. Where are you guys going?" Sue asked curiously as I sat down with them and sipped at my coffee like it was pure liquid gold.

"I think Edward mentioned something about Bainbridge Island. I let him make the plans," I admitted as my father looked at me with a quirked eye brow.

"Call us when you know where you are going. You know, just in case anything happens," my dad said stoically as he tossed the paper on the table because he didn't have the time to read it. Sue smacked his shoulder and smiled happily at me. "Oh and have fun this weekend. I've got to get down to the station, but if you girls need anything, just let me know."

Sue and I both waved goodbye to Charlie from the front porch, watching as he drove away in his cruiser and then we enjoyed a quick breakfast with the left over bagels from the day before. When we were finished, I ran up the stairs to get dressed and drag my luggage with me to the front door. When I finally made it down the stairs, ready to go, Edward was sitting down at the kitchen table talking amiably with Sue. He stood the moment he saw me and made a beeline to me to help me with my bags.

"Where's Scrappy?" I asked curiously, eager to say goodbye to him before I had to leave.

"He's outside doing his business and barking at a squirrel," Sue said as she looked between me and Edward, giving me a small wink as Edward carried my bag outside and put it in the Jeep. "Listen, that boy is so in love with you. I can tell just from talking to him this morning, so I know you are nervous, but I think you should follow your heart Bella. I love you like a daughter and would say the exact same thing to Leah if she was in your shoes."

"Thanks Mom," I said gently as I hugged her tightly. Next to Esme, Sue really was the closest thing I had to a mother in my life and I couldn't help but wish and ran into the backyard to say a quick goodbye to Scrappy who was currently being scratched by Edward. "He looks pretty damned happy."

"He gets to sleep with you at night, no wonder he's happy," Edward said with a laugh as I moved closer to him and he stood up, leaning down to kiss me gently on the lips as my hands rested on his firm chest. "I'll be happy tonight."

"Oh and you're not happy now?" I questioned as I bent down and started scratching Scrappy under his chin just like I knew he loved. I looked up briefly at Edward, but he didn't answer my question, which made me worry slightly. Something was wrong, I could feel it.

"Let's get going. I want to try and miss some of the traffic. Commuters can be crazy little fuckers when they are in a rush," Edward joked as he reached out for my hand and I pet Scrappy one more time before letting Edward lead the way out to the Jeep, which I noticed as we got closer was literally packed to the brim with stuff.

"Were you able to fit my luggage in there?" I asked with a chuckle as Edward opened up the passenger side door for me and I climbed in eagerly, trying to put my concerns to the back burner as I focused on spending time with Edward instead.

"Camping requires a lot of work Bella. Especially if one wants to do it comfortably. You won't be complaining tonight when we're sleeping soundly on our double thickness air mattress and watching DVD's on my portable DVD player." Edward shut the door behind him and then ran around to the driver's side of the car, hopping in with ease and giving me a huge smile before pulling out of the driveway.

It was a three hour trip filled with easy conversation and lots of rather in depth discussions over music choices, but when we eventually arrived, I was feeling more than a little excited about the weekend. Sue had been right and the weather was very warm, so the moment I got out of the Jeep, I quickly shed the sweatshirt I had put on in the morning and I could see Edward looking at me from the corner of my eye, my small t-shirt clinging tightly to my chest. I just shook my head at him and he smiled brightly as he got out of the Jeep and moved towards the trunk.

We worked at unloading the Jeep, putting everything on the picnic table Edward had parked beside until we had pulled the tent out of the trunk. "Who puts the tent in first when they pack for camping? It should go in last so that you can put it together first and then unpack the rest of your stuff."

"Well fine, you can pack next time," Edward said with a huff as he tossed the tent onto the ground and I immediately began searching for the instructions. "What instructions?" Edward questioned when I had asked him about them. "I've put up the tent before; I think I can handle it."

So, in a fit of frustration, I sat back on the picnic table and watched intently as Edward attempted to put the tent together himself. He tried to ignore me, but curse words were flying out of his mouth left, right and center, because he was having a horrible time of it. When I offered help, he simply scowled at me, so rather than make matters worse, I began going through the food he had brought for us and made some turkey sandwiches for us for lunch, with some bottles of water and chips.

It was almost an hour after he started that Edward was finally hammering the stakes into the ground to secure the tent. He looked so smug and excited with himself, that I couldn't be bothered to tell him that the instructions were under the cooler and it should have only taken 20 minutes to put up. We ate our sandwiches in companionable silence, and once we were done Edward had to attach the fly to the roof of the tent in case of rain and he agreed to let me get the air mattress inflated, which took all of two minutes thanks to the little motorized pump that came with it. It was just after two in the afternoon when we had everything completely set to our liking. The bed was made, our chairs were set out, the light was hanging from the center of the tent, because Edward had gotten us a site with electricity and we were now both boiling hot from all the work.

"Let's go down to the beach and cool off?" I suggested as Edward's eyes went wide. "I'm sure swimming would be a better alternative to melting here at the campsite. Plus it's a sandy beach isn't it? We could lie out and just relax."

"Sounds like a plan, you go get changed and I will go after you. I need to find the towels I brought. I think they are in the back of the Jeep." So, I did as Edward asked and the moment I was changed into my bikini and a pair of jean shorts, I stepped out of the tent and found Edward eagerly awaiting his turn to get changed. He was out in a flash, dressed in rather colorful plaid board shorts, and before I knew it, we were strolling hand in hand down to the beach, the tension from the morning completely evaporated and both of us smiling from ear to ear.

The beach was pretty empty, most campers probably not arriving until they had finished work for the day, so Edward and I got a prime spot and the moment out towels were down, I stripped off my shorts and shoes and made a mad dash into the water.

"Oh fuck, it's cold," I cursed out as I ran back up to the beach and found Edward laughing loudly at me. "Shut it. I was trying to cool down, not die of hypothermia." Edward stretched his arms out and I sat down between his legs and let him wrap his hot body around me, warming me immediately. Of course, the other thing I noticed was the rather obvious bulge pressing against my lower back as I leaned back against his chest.

"You were cold. What in the hell possessed you to run into the water?"

"I just wanted to cool down a bit."

"You should have just splashed some water on yourself instead. Sometimes I question your thought process," he said as I felt his lips press against the side of my neck and I shivered slightly. "Still cold?" he asked as he tightened his grip on me.

"No."

"Good. Now let's get some sunscreen on you before I have to take you back to Forks looking like a lobster." I turned around and looked at Edward, grabbing his face and planting a big kiss on his lips for being so thoughtful. I may have also been a little excited while he rubbed the lotion all over my back and front, his hands working deftly along my legs, thighs and even my chest, his fingers grazing my breasts lightly as he went, but nothing further happened sadly. Some nights I seriously wondered if Edward even wanted me sexually, because he seemed to keep me at arm's length, which was frustrating beyond words. Instead of dwelling on our awkward and non-existent sex life, I returned the favor by rubbing sunscreen on Edward and we spent the next two hours sitting down and talking about things that had happened in the past month, what we wanted to do with the rest of the weekend and kissing. It was perfect.

I should have known it wouldn't last.

When we got back to the campsite, it was starting to cool, so we both got changed immediately and Edward set out to make us hamburgers on the little grill he had brought with us. I was really shocked by how well prepared he was for this weekend. He had all the fixings for the burgers, including cut onions and pickles, which were my favorite burger toppings. I shouldn't have been surprised that Edward remembered this, since he seemed to have catalogued everything he ever knew about me in his mind, but I was flattered none the less.

Once dinner was finished, I cleaned up while he set to making a fire in the small fire pit at our site. For a guy who wasn't a boy scout, he was just as adept at making a fire as he was at making dinner, too bad he was too stubborn to accept help with the tent. When the flames started to get to a decent height, Edward moved our two foldable chairs beside each other near the fire. I grabbed a sweater and slipped it on before I sat back down in the chair, Edward coming to sit beside me.

"Dinner was really good," I said genuinely as Edward reached over and grabbed my hand tightly in his, squeezing it even harder, making me concerned again, because he had been quiet since we finished dinner. "The whole day has been great, really."

"Yeah," he said softly as I looked over at him and his gaze was set on the fire. In fact, he seemed so focused on the fire and the other campers in the area, that I couldn't help but notice he had completely stopped talking. I had been going on about Alice's insistence that we wear yellow dresses for her wedding, me and Rosalie having been named joint maid of honors, and Edward never said anything. Not even when I mentioned that the dresses were actually just skirtsand we were going topless.

"Okay, what's going on with you? I just said that I would be going to Alice's wedding with my tits hanging out and you said nothing. Not even a moan of appreciation. So, come on… talk to me." I looked at him, my voice strong and insistent. When I stared harder at Edward in the dark night with the fire bouncing of off his face, I noticed he looked pained.

"I didn't get the transfer. I got the notice yesterday. I was too late in filing my application."

"Well that's horseshit."

"Ironically that was the exact term my mother used. You guys are clearly spending too much time together," Edward said with a small smile that was laced with sadness.

"There must be something we can do right? Someone who can help?"

"I called UW yesterday when I found out and literally pleaded with everyone I could get on the phone. I may have even begged the secretary in admissions, but there's nothing that can be done," Edward said sullenly as I looked at him, my heart aching because I wasn't sure what the hell we were going to do now. We were finally getting back on track; everything was going along smoothly and now this. It was no wonder Edward was all over the place today. "This was a bit unexpected."

"That's because you had everything riding on this Edward."

"No shit," he snapped at me, never once turning to look at me.

"Well don't get angry at me Edward. I know this is frustrating."

"You know what it's like when the one thing you've wanted for months slips through your fingers?" he asked angrily as he leaned forward in his chair and rested his face in his hands, the anguish surrounding him like a veil.

"Yeah, I know. You left me didn't you," I said quietly as Edward turned and stared at me with pure sorrow in his now dark green eyes.

"I don't want to leave you now. Don't you get it? Don't you see how much I love you? I don't want to live without you Bella."

"I don't want to be without you either Edward," I said honestly as I reached over and squeezed his thigh, trying to get him to relax a bit. "We'll figure it out," I added as Edward looked back over at me and I could see just how much this was hurting him. Esme had repeatedly told me how different Edward was now that he was home. She said he was lively, no longer detached and really happy, and she had also confessed to me on occasion that she was thrilled we were back together and ecstatic that Edward wanted to go to UW. She wanted him home just as much as he wanted to be here, but now things weren't going to go the way any of us had thought they would.

"That's just it; I don't want to have to figure it out. I pictured me moving into my own apartment in the fall, you coming to see me every weekend and falling back in love with me. Us being together was all I wanted Bella, and now… fuck, now I have no choice but to go back to Dartmouth," he said, the frustration dripping from his voice as he pulled his hand away from mine and began to run it angrily through his hair. "I don't want to go back there."

I got up from my chair and moved in front of Edward, bending at my knees and resting my hands on his thighs as I looked up at him, with sincerity true in my eyes. "Edward, just because you have to go back, doesn't mean we're going to break up. Graduating from Dartmouth was your dream and now you can achieve it, with me supporting you. Although, I will be doing it from here instead of at your side," I said genuinely as Edward lifted his head slightly and stared at me, the fire warming my ass just a little more than I would have liked. "I'll be there in spirit and in body as much as I can."

"You're okay with me going back there?"

"I trust you," I said genuinely as I stood up again and grabbed Edward's hand pulling him up with me. I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist and rested my head on his chest, listening to the soothing beat of his heart. "You need to do this for you. I'll be here waiting for you when you get back, I promise."

Edward lifted my chin up slightly, so I was staring at him head on and then he leaned down and kissed me softly, his hands working their way down my arms gingerly. "You're too good for me."

"I know."

"There's no way I can convince you to come with me?"

"No, but there's something I want to do for myself while you're gone," I said boldly, deciding to let Edward in on my plans that had been ruminating in my mind for the past few weeks. "I applied for a job at a hospital in Seattle last week. I thought if you were going to be living there, I might as well be close to you right?"

Edward released his grip on me and moved back slightly, staring at me incredulously. "You were going to move to Seattle to be with me? Did you tell my father you wouldn't be working for him?"

I shook my head slowly in response. "I haven't had a chance to talk to him yet. Why screw up things if I don't get the hospital job right?" I said genuinely as Edward nodded his head. "Howeverl, it wasn't only for you that I applied. I wanted to be out on my own, prove I could do it, you know? I've always lived with Charlie and had someone basically watching over me 24/7. Everyone thinks I'm this fragile person, but I'm not anymore and I want to be independent. I want this job and I want to live in the city."

Edward looked at me and was literally smiling from ear to ear. "You're gonna move to Seattle and live on your own, while I'm stuck in Dartmouth, pining away for you?"

"Yep. Well, if I get this job I will."

"And I can come and visit you?"

"Yeah."

"And stay at your apartment?"

"Sure."

"And move in with you when I get accepted to medical school at UW?"

"Woah, what?" I said as I held up my hand and Edward's face instantly fell. I was both thrilled and anxious when he mentioned us living together, because that was such a huge jump for two people who had only been dating again for a month. However, I had to admit that in the back of my mind, the idea was certainly appealing. "Let's just get through the next year alright? If you play your cards right, you can even move into the same bedroom." Edward reached forward and grasped my face in his hands, leaning in to kiss me passionately, our lips pressing together and moving in perfect rhythm together. My hands moved slowly up his muscular back, under the cotton of his long sleeved shirt and when I felt him literally shiver under my touch, all my will power disappeared. I grabbed Edward's hand and led him into the tent.

Edward sat on the edge of the air mattress and looked at me with wide eyes as I zipped the tent closed and stood before him, so glad he had gotten the Trump Tower of tents. This thing was massive inside and I was able to stand up easily, although Edward, being several inches taller had a bit of trouble.

"What are you doing?" he asked as he watched intently as I yanked my sweatshirt and t-shirt off over my head, to reveal I wasn't wearing a bra. "Jesus Bella…"

I then began to unzip my jeans and pull them down, when I felt Edward's hands over mine, stilling them. "This is what… I mean… shit. This wasn't the point of the weekend. I didn't bring you here to have sex with you, I brought you here to show you I love you," he said stoically as he tried desperately to keep his eyes on my face and not my bare breasts.

"Edward, show me you love me then," I replied as I pushed back on his shoulders and he leaned back onto the rather sturdy mattress, his upper body propped up on his elbows as he looked at me with concern. I leaned down and began kissing him, but he still seemed anxious, like we were doing something not because I wanted to, but because I felt I had to. Rather than try and convince him verbally, I simply straddled Edward and grasped his face in my hands, kissing him without reservation as his hands moved to cover mine. When I pulled away and looked into his deep green eyes, I knew then exactly what I needed. "Make love to me."

I leaned further into our kiss and Edward lay down on the air mattress as my hands went to the hem of his shirt and began tugging it up and over his broad shoulders. It was amazing to me how much Edward had changed, not just mentally but physically, in the past several years. I had loved everything about him before, but now it was amplified tenfold and it overwhelmed me. Once I had his shirt removed and had tossed it on the tent floor, his hands ran up my back and his lips connected to the side of my neck, sucking furiously as he rolled us over, although awkwardly, into the middle of the air mattress.

"This wasn't how I saw this going," Edward said honestly as he hovered above me, a small smile on his face as he kissed the tip of my nose before pulling away. "I saw a fancy hotel room, candlelight, roses, me taking my time and romancing you as we confessed our love. It was a little more like the first time we had sex, rather than some awkward fumbling on an air mattress in a public campground."

I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him closer to me, my half opened jeans desperately wanting to be removed, _preferably by his teeth_, I thought to myself with a small snicker. I felt Edward's tongue slide up along my neck to my chin and I may have purred like a cat as I scratched my fingers along his back which made him push his hips into me, the friction where I desperately wanted him the most.

"Don't over think this Edward," I said as I ran my fingers through his hair, tugging gently, as I brought his lips up to meet mine. Unlike him, I was a little more aggressive and feral as my hands ran from his hair and down to his pants, where I struggled mightily to get them undone. Edward simply laughed at me and climbed off the bed, my body moving around, not unlike being on a waterbed but a little sturdier, and I watched as he finished undressing.

It had been so long since I had seen a guy naked, with the exception of the few porn movies Alice had forced me to watch one drunken night at her apartment in Seattle, when she was trying to cheer me up last fall, that it was just different seeing Edward again. The deep 'v' of his hips, the definition of his calves which came from his running and the color of his skin fanned the flames of my desire even more.

Edward looked at me with lust filled eyes, practically staring into my very soul as his hands reached up and hooked on the belt loops of my jeans. With a slightly victorious smile, I lifted my ass up and let Edward tug my jeans and panties down, in what felt like the slowest way possible. When he climbed back onto the bed, he spooned behind my body and pulled the sleeping bag cover up over our body to keep the chill away. However, the temperature was the furthest thing from my mind.

"Touch me," I said through clenched teeth as Edward's hands moved deftly across my abdomen, one moving up to cup my breast and the other moving downward to find my aching pussy.

"You looked so fucking gorgeous yesterday when I found you at home," Edward whispered into my ear as he bit down on my ear lobe and I moaned as the intensity of the motion went right to my throbbing clit. "I didn't know you still umm… were bare." He whispered the last part even quieter, which made me laugh as Edward slipped a finger between my wet lips and I heard him groan in appreciation. "So fucking wet for me."

"Always for you," I replied honestly as I turned my head slightly and our lips connected frantically as Edward then wrapped his arm around me and pulled me onto my back again. "And the umm… bareness, is a new thing I'm trying out. I had it done a few days ago." I couldn't help but smile as Edward's eyes lit up excitedly, knowing I had done it for him, and he rolled till he was hovering over me, my legs open on either side of his body, welcoming him to me.

"Shit," he said in frustration as he rested his head down on my stomach and my hand reached up, stroking the hair at the nape of his neck. "I umm… fuck. I wasn't planning on this happening Bella. I didn't bring anything with me." I looked at Edward with a quirked eye brow confused for a moment about what he was saying before I felt his cock twitch against my thigh and a light went off in my head. "You know… protection."

"Ohh… we're good. It's okay."

"You have something?"

"Yeah, that Depo shot thing. It's a long story, but anyways… we're good, I promise."

"Are you sure?"

"Edward," I said gently as I reached up and stroked his cheek, trying to calm the obvious unease that was in his eyes. "I love you."

"God, I love you too, so fucking much," he said as he buried his face in my neck and began kissing his way across my collar bones and down to my breasts. My body was literally shaking in anticipation as he tried go slowly with me, his hands ghosting down my arms as he then sucked one of my nipples into his mouth. Edwards' hands began teasing and pinching my other nipple as he repeatedly whispered how much he loved me against my skin. "I never thought I would hear you say it again."

"Three months ago I never thought I would say it again," I said as I grabbed his face and pulled him up to kiss me. I reached between our bodies, grasping his hard cock in my hand and stroking it with purpose, the tip sliding against my aching clit and making both of us moan in ecstasy.

"Oh fuck that feels so god damn good Bella," Edward growled out as his mouth surrounded my nipple and he began biting it softly between his teeth, making me moan out in response. "God I want you so much. I've always wanted you… always."

"I never wanted anyone as much as I wanted you Edward," I replied honestly as my head lolled back in pleasure.

Just when I thought I couldn't take the teasing anymore, Edward slipped inside of me, his entire body seemingly unable to move once he was filling me completely. "Oh god Edward," I forced out as he began frantically kissing my face. "So much better than I remembered."

"I dreamed about you for almost four years Bella and Jesus Christ, you are so fucking perfect," he said as he kissed my lips firmly, his tongue wrapping desperately around mine, before he then began moving excruciatingly slow within me. Edward's hands grasped mine tightly in his and he rested them against the pillow as his hips thrust against me, his cock burying deeper inside of me with each movement, as my moans and sighs of pleasure filled the small tent and no doubt, the cool Washington night. However, I could care less because I felt like the past four years of heartache were leading us here and back together, and it was worth it.

Tears of happiness began to fall down my face as I neared my release, something I hadn't had with anyone other than Edward, and I realized that no matter how hard I had fought against having him in my life because of our stubborn and fucked pasts, he was always the one.

I arched my back slightly as Edward urged on my release, rubbing my clit with his thumb as he remained buried inside of me. Before I had a chance to come down and calm myself, Edward was resting his forehead against mine and chanting out his love for me in small whispers as he came undone within me, and I felt even more overwhelmed, causing the tears to overflow.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" Edward questioned as he slipped out of me and onto his side. His voice was ripe with concern as I rolled into him, my head coming to a rest against his heaving chest.

"Not at all," I said as I wiped the tears from my eyes and felt Edward's lips against my cheeks, gently kissing away any remaining tears. "It was perfect, fantastic and beautiful. Hell, I'd love to spend the next three days naked on this air mattress with you."

"Then what's wrong?"

"I don't know what I am going to do without you when you have to leave. I know, I have to be all strong and what not, but I just got you back, I don't want to lose you again." I felt Edward's fingers dance lightly over the curve of my neck as he kissed me on the lips gently.

"Bella, you were right about me needing to finish what I started, I need to finish at Dartmouth. However, you will be there with me… on the phone, on the computer, through email and by visiting me as often as possible. Considering everything we've been through since I first met you, I think we can get through this," he said sweetly as he kissed me again and I wrapped my arms and legs around him tightly, unwilling to let him go.

"You won't leave me right?"

"I'm not going anywhere. There is no one in this world I could ever love more than you, Isabella Swan. And at the risk of sounding cheesy, you are my whole life Bella. I'm doing this for us," he added as I buried my head in the crook of his neck and he pulled the sleeping bag tighter over our fading bodies. "You're it for me."

"I love you."

"I love you too Bella. More than you will ever realize."

**A/N: You didn't think he was actually gonna get the transfer did you?**

**Now, after you have reviewed and cursed me, I want you to go and find the story 'The Weight of Words' by georgeygirl. I've been pimping this story to anyone who would listen, so go read it. It's fucking excellent!! Review, then go! **


	36. My Time with You

**A/N: Hi All, I'm back and surprisingly I have very little to say. LOL. Huge thanks, as per always to my beta, MaggieMay14, and my pre-readers Risbee, Flightlessbird11, TillyWhitlock, TwiOthGirly and Beegurl13. You ladies rock my world.**

**Onto the fluff, because let's face it… this story is 99.9 percent pure fluff as I finish it off.**

**I don't own Twilight, but I am fucking hungry, so I'm going to get lunch now.**

**BPOV**

I had suffered more than necessary in my young life. With my illness, its reoccurrence, the loss of my mother and Edward's heartbreaking departure, Alice always joked that she was a shocked I never tried to off myself. However, the day I drove Edward to the airport in Seattle so that he could head back to Dartmouth and start his final year of college was one of my most challenging and heart wrenching days ever. To put it simply, I didn't want him to go back.

I knew it was selfish of me to think this way, and I was fully aware that we would see each other as soon as we could since he was going to try and make it home for Thanksgiving, but it just felt like it was final or something. It was the last weekend in August and Edward started classes right after Labor Day weekend and he wanted to get back to his place to get some things settled and prep for the school year, which I fully understood. However, it didn't make me feel better about our situation. Though at this point nothing would make me feel better except for Edward staying in Seattle, which just wasn't possible.

Since our camping trip, Edward and I had gotten unbelievably closer in the two short months we had together before he had to leave. We spent every possible moment together and when I found out I got the nursing job at Seattle Children's Hospital, I was over the moon with excitement. Charlie, on the other hand, was not as excited about the prospect of me moving to Seattle to live on my own. He knew that Alice & Jasper lived in the city, and they promised him that they would keep an eye on me, but he was worried about more than just my physical safety.

A potential relapse was always in the back of my father's mind, so it took a lot of convincing on the part of both Sue and I to get him to relax about the concept of me leaving the nest. After all, he and Sue were now looking more than ever for a new place to move into with Seth, because Leah was going to move to Port Angeles permanently after getting a full time job at a daycare there. She had gotten her early education degree and was finally putting it to use, to the pleasure of her proud mother.

However, when Charlie finally came around to the idea, he then proceeded to spend way too much time with Edward on my laptop mapping out potential apartments in the safest neighborhoods in Seattle. Between the two of them and their grandiose planning, I figured I would be living in a convent. Finally, Edward and I ended up spending a weekend in Seattle checking out as many potential apartments as we could and I was shocked when the third apartment we viewed on our first day of looking, was the one that knocks both of our socks off.

It was a small one bedroom, one bathroom apartment with a nice balcony that overlooked the sound and the Olympic Mountains. It was more than enough space for me and my sparse belongings, but Edward kept insisting that he had enough stuff to fill the place when the time came.

"_I'll probably have to sell a lot of my stuff before I move back from New Hampshire, but the essentials will definitely fit in here," Edward said with a small smile as he wrapped his arms around me and surveyed the small Avalon Belltown apartment that we were checking out. It was a few blocks from the hospital I was going to start working at on September 6__th__, so I could walk to work if I wanted to, so a car would definitely not be necessary right away._

"_It's too much Edward. I can't afford it," I stated as I checked out the price sheet that was given to us by the apartment manager. "Even if I lived on ramen noodles and macaroni & cheese, I probably couldn't afford this place on my own."_

"_Bella, you can definitely afford it. With your salary, savings and the fact that you really don't need to buy too many things for the new place because Charlie is giving you so much when he moves with Sue in a few weeks, you can definitely afford it," Edward said reassuringly as we walked through the apartment again. I was checking out all the small little details, making sure that this place wasn't a lemon and I wouldn't hate it if I did move in. "You could easily afford the rent, groceries, bills, spending money and some savings if you moved in here. Think of how much you would save on gas and car expenses." I was just nervous about shelling out a more than a quarter of my salary every month for the apartment, but Sue had told me that it was the average cost of housing in Seattle, but it seemed like so much to the girl who never paid anything in rent before._

_I nodded slowly at Edward as I walked into the bedroom and looked out the large window that faced Puget Sound. "And when I move in, we can make love in our bed every night, the bright stars shining down on us and illuminating your stunning body. Think I can get you to make love to me on the balcony?" he asked as he leaned down and swept my hair away so that he could kiss the side of my neck. Each and every thought he put into my mind about us living together made me consider the apartment more and more. I wasn't one hundred percent sold on the idea though since Edward and I had only been back together for a little while. Could we handle living together the next year? Would we even still be together by then? A million thoughts were running through my mind and all of them were pessimistic, but I couldn't help it._

"_So what do you think Bella? Can you see us… I mean you, living here?"_

"_Yeah, I think so." It really was a nice little apartment with a great view. The convenience of living so close to work helped too. Of course, the final nail in the coffin was when the apartment manager told me that they had a current deal going on where the first two months were free if you signed a one year contract. I was sold._

The weekend before Edward was to head back to Dartmouth, he along with Charlie, Sue and Seth, helped me move into the apartment. Before I moved, I came to an agreement with my dad that he and Sue would keep Scrappy with them in Forks, even though he was technically my dog. We all knew that staying cooped up in my apartment all day in Seattle was no life for a dog that was used to the outdoors. So, even though I had a heavy heart about it all, I knew it was for the best.

On moving day, everyone but Edward left when all the boxes and furniture were now in the apartment. Then he and I spent the night christening almost every surface of my first apartment. I would never be able to look at my kitchen counter again without thinking of Edward lifting me up on to the cold granite counter before going down on me and making me scream out his name in ecstasy.

Not that I was surprised, but Carlisle and Esme were very supportive when I told them of my decision not to join his practice in Forks. They expressed their disappointment, as was to be expected, but they understood my need to spread my wings and get out on my own. Esme reassured me that she would come to visit every time she came to the city and promised Edward that she would keep an eye on me, which I thought was laughable. Edward trusted me completely and I felt the same way, until he mentioned on the phone one night a few weeks after he had gotten back to Dartmouth that he had ran into Heidi, his former 'fuck buddy.'

"_So, in the interest of being completely honest with you… I want you to know that I ran into Heidi today and had coffee with her." Edward sounded downright remorseful as he spoke and I tried to have faith because I trusted him implicitly. It was Heidi I didn't trust._

"_Oh," I replied, trying to sound casual and nonchalant without accusing him of anything. After all, the last thing I wanted to do was come across like the jealous girlfriend. It was hard enough being away from him, but the entire situation was made even worse because I knew that he had previous girlfriends, fuck buddies or whatever they were, on campus with him._

"_Yeah. I was coming out of Barnes and Noble after picking up some reading material for one of my classes and there she was, about to walk in. We had coffee at Starbucks, where I was shocked to learn she was engaged," Edward said, the surprise still obvious in his voice._

"_She's engaged?" Thank fucking god, I thought to myself as I let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding._

"_Yup, and to make it even funnier, it's to the guy she broke up with back in California before heading to Dartmouth. How ironic is that shit? We both reunited with our true loves over the summer," Edward said with a chuckle as my breath caught at hearing him refer to me as his true love. As much as I could laugh it off, I knew without a doubt that it was true. There was no one that was more perfect for me than Edward Cullen, even if he was thousands of miles away at the moment. _

_Sure, we had gone through some rough patches, in fact rough was probably an understatement, but I think it just made us stronger. Four years ago I would have completely overreacted at hearing him talk about Heidi, but now I was able to laugh it off._

"_I'm really happy for her Edward."_

"_You're relieved aren't you?"_

"_Why should I be relieved? She was not a threat to me, was she?" I asked skeptically as Edward laughed even harder in the background and I could hear a female voice asking him what he was giggling about. Victoria was number two on my hit list of people to worry about when it came to women Edward used to be involved with. Not that she was a serious threat since she was apparently very serious with James, but the mere fact that she wanted Edward first and always seemed to be in the background when I talked to Edward concerned me. Hell, all the girls within a five hour drive of Hanover, New Hampshire concerned me._

"_You know you have nothing to be worried about right?" he asked sweetly. "There's only one girl for me."_

"_I know baby. It just sucks being far away from you and not being the one you spend all your free time with._

"_Bella, the only thing I spend time with these days is my textbooks and my iPod. They are my new girlfriend."_

After Edward made the comment about spending all his time with his textbooks, I spent the next few days feeling like shit. I had a life here in Seattle, having made friends with a few co-workers and I went out fairly regularly, at the insistence of Alice who didn't want me moping while Edward was gone. However, it seemed like Edward was living like a monk and even though I didn't want every girl with a pulse hitting on him, I didn't want him to be isolated either. I wanted to him to have fun, so when he told me a few weeks later that he wasn't going to a Halloween party with James & Victoria, I got upset with him and insisted he go.

Edward got angry with me and implied that there was something more behind me wanting him to go and I got so frustrated I just hung up on him and watched TV while crying profusely about the entire situation. It was our first big fight since he had moved, hell it was our first big fight since getting back together, and I hated every single second of it. I crawled into bed at eight o'clock that night after having handed out the last piece of candy to the small number of neighborhood kids and finding myself exhausted from my tears.

"_Did I wake you up baby?" Edward asked when my phone rang and I reluctantly picked it up. I just wanted to go back to a few hours earlier when Edward and I hadn't argued and things were normal. Well, as normal as they could be given our situation. He sounded a little drunk and very sad as I gave him a quick 'hmph' and he sighed in resignation. "I can let you go back to sleep you know."_

"_I'm already up," I replied tentatively as I pushed my hair back from my face and sat up in my bed, a pillow propped up behind my back for support. "How was the party?"_

"_Pure shit. I felt like an asshole for us fighting, so I was no fun at all. I drank to try and lift my mood, but nothing worked. James ended up insisting I head home since I was bringing the entire party down."_

"_I'm sorry," I said genuinely as I heard another sigh on the other end of the phone. "I only encouraged you to go because I felt like you weren't enjoying yourself at school. I felt like you were holing yourself up in your house so that you could avoid temptation or something like that." It sounded stupid as the words fell from my mouth, but I just hoped Edward would understand. "I don't want your sole focus to be on studying Edward. You need to have fun."_

"_Bella… my focus is on graduating. I want to finish so I can get back to you, and if that means holing up in the house and studying my ass off, then so be it. There are no temptations for me here Bella. I have you, and that is all I need. I love you… only you," he said forcefully as I nodded my head in reply, not that he could see me. I giggled sleepily at my stupidity and hoped that Edward hadn't caught on._

"_I'm sorry about tonight," I said simply in response._

"_It's okay. You trust me right?"_

"_Yes, I trust you."_

"_Then trust that I know what is right for me… for us," he said as my heart leapt in my chest and I suddenly didn't feel very sleepy. He was right though, I needed to trust that he knew what he was doing while he was away._

"_So the party wasn't much fun?" I asked, trying to get us onto a new topic. "Did you dress up?"_

"_No. The entire party was mainly freshmen who were either dry humping strangers against a wall or drinking their weight in tepid beer. It wasn't my scene, even when I was a freshman," Edward explained as I heard him shifting on his bed and my smile grew, realizing that for the one of the first times, there was no way Victoria was around for our phone call._

"_What are you doing over there?"_

"_Getting ready for bed. It's late here." I glanced at my clock and noticed it was now 10:30 here, so it was 1:30 in the morning for him. "Why were you in bed so early by the way?"_

"_I was feeling sorry for myself because we had our first argument. I decided I just wanted to hide from my life and curled up in bed after I dished out candy to the like… five kids that showed up," I replied honestly as I shimmied out of my pajama pants and tossed them onto the small chair in the corner of the room. "However, I know how you can make it up to me."_

"_Oh really," Edward asked, his voice straining higher in curiosity. "Well, don't keep me in suspense, Bella."_

"_What are you wearing?" I asked boldly as I heard more shuffling on the other end of the phone._

"_If this is going where I hope it's going, then I'm wearing nothing." I could hear more noise on the other end of the phone including some footsteps and was instantly concerned. "I also just locked my door, shut off the lights and crawled into bed. Bella, what are you wearing?"_

"_My silk pajama top from that set you got me and a pair of white cotton boy shorts, nothing overly sexy actually," I replied shortly, a little disappointed that I couldn't even make up something sexy to be wearing. Not that Edward would care since he seemed to find me most attractive in one of his t-shirts and nothing else._

"_Unbutton your top baby," Edward breathed out huskily as I propped the phone up between my shoulder and ear, before fidgeting with the buttons on my top excitedly. "Put the phone on speaker Bella. You are definitely going to need your hands free for what I have in mind."_

_Ugh yes! I thought excitedly to myself. I did exactly what he asked and rested the phone on the pillow beside me on speaker. I could hear Edward moving on the other end of the phone and my fingers worked swiftly to undo the buttons on my shirt and it fell open, my breasts immediately covered in goose bumps as the cold air hit them, my nipples hardening instantly._

"_Edward," I said quietly, as though there was someone in the other room and I didn't want to be caught. "I miss you."_

"_Fuck, I miss you too Bella," he replied with a slow sigh. I knew going into the situation that this was going to be hard on us, but I wasn't expecting it to be this difficult. "Let me love you baby… take your panties off." I did exactly like he asked and tossed them beside the bed as I crawled back under my sheets, pulling them tight against me since it was fairly cold outside._

"_If I was there right now, I'd be kissing your chest," I said nervously, unsure of exactly how to do this. Was there a guide I could get to giving phone sex to my boyfriend? I considered getting out of bed and looking up some help on Google, when I heard Edward speak forcefully on the other end of the phone. _

"_Massage your breasts Bella. Pinch your nipples and tell me how you feel," he asked of me as my breathing slowed and I did just what he wanted, my hands cupping my breasts and kneading them gently as my fingers pinched my highly sensitive nipples. I moaned in pleasure, enjoying the feel of myself in my hands and I could hear Edward's breathing pick up on the other end of the phone. _

"_Do you play with yourself when I'm not there Bella?"_

"_Not really."_

"_What do you mean not really? You must have… umm… needs, right Bella."_

"_I've tried. It's not the same without you," I admitted boldly as I heard Edward cough frantically on the other end of the phone. There had been so many nights when I had gotten home from work and just desperately needed some sort of release to evaporate the stress of the day, but no matter what I did or what I thought about, I was unsatisfied_

"_Don't you still have that toy Alice & Rosalie gave you?" he inquired with a small groan as I briefly remembered the gift the girls had given me so long ago._

"_I threw it out ages ago actually. It's not like I ever used it."_

"_I'll have to send you a new one to use… when we... you know."_

"_Edward…do you… do you play often?"_

"_Yes I do. Like morning, noon and night. Every time I think about you I get hard."_

"_Are you hard now?"_

"_Like Chinese algebra, Bella." I couldn't help the giggle that escaped at that comment and struggled to maintain my composure. Couldn't he have picked a different analogy? Although I couldn't help it, knowing that he was aroused and clearly played with himself A LOT while thinking about me was doing something to me I had never experienced before. Well, not while I was by myself._

"_What are you doing?" I asked as my voice croaked with both anxiety and arousal._

"_What I wish you were doing… stroking my cock," he replied boldly as my hand moved involuntarily down my naked torso to my overheated center. Fuck, I was so horny and it was never like this when I was alone. With Edward it was a completely different story. After we were together in the tent, it was like we were insatiable with each other, and I missed that. I missed him and his warm breath on my neck, his fingers touching me with ease and causing my skin to ignite into flames._

"_Mmm, I like the sound of that. I can picture your hand moving slowly, yet forcefully as you stroke yourself… fucking hot." Where the hell was this coming from? I wasn't that much of a dirty talker on a good day, but apparently being without Edward for almost two months brought it out of me._

"_You better be touching yourself."_

"_I am," I rasped out as my hand dipped between my legs, which I spread wide as my eager fingers began tracing my clit slowly as I listened to his erratic breathing. "I'm imagining your tongue circling around my clit and you biting it between your teeth and tugging on it." Edward gasped lowly as I pinched my clit and let out a loud groan of my own._

"_Jesus Bella… what are you doing?"_

"_Everything I'm imagining your tongue doing."_

"_Which is?" he asked with a growl as I eased a finger inside of me, pumping it slowly as my thumb pressed hard against my clit, making me jump slightly because I was so fucking turned on. Why couldn't it ever be this primal and hot when I tried this by myself?_

"_I'm finger fucking myself Edward. Isn't that what you want to hear baby?"_

"_No. I want to see it. I want to see you fuck yourself Bella," he replied with a grunt as I moved my hand faster while I envisioned his hand stroking his cock harder and harder with each pass. "Oh fuck, I want to watch you so badly. I need you."_

"_I need you too baby. I need you to cum for me," I replied as I curled my fingers inside of myself and twisted my hand slightly, bringing myself right to the edge. I was panting and unable to get a word out as I listened to Edward grunt louder than ever and then curse out my name repeatedly. The knowledge that he had just cum drove me over the edge and within seconds I was pulsing around my hand, my other hand clutching my sheets tightly as I came, screaming his name._

"_Fuck."_

"_What's wrong?"_

"_You live in New Hampshire. That's what's wrong baby." I let out a huge sigh and threw my head back against the pillow out of frustration._

"_Bella… I'd be there if I could. You know that," he replied, the sadness and remorse replacing the pleasure he had just had a moment ago. "I love you."_

"_I know you would. I love you too Edward." _

"_How about we get webcams? Would that make it easier?"_

"_Probably harder actually."_

"_I know seeing you would certainly make parts of me harder," Edward tossed in with a snicker as I rolled my eyes at him, but couldn't help the small laugh that escaped. He always knew exactly what to say to make things better._

I fell asleep that night with a smile on my face and with my heart full of love and hope. I knew without a doubt that my heart belonged to Edward and he had given me his a very long time ago, now if we could only make it through these next couple of months, we would be golden. At least I thought we would.

After our steamy night on Halloween, I became bogged down at work and was taking on shift after shift as I tried to prove myself a valuable asset to the hospital. Before I knew it, Thanksgiving was coming up fast and I was sort of dreading it. Edward was overwhelmed at school and wasn't able to come home and I had come to terms with it, even though I wasn't particularly happy about it.

Charlie and Sue had finally moved into their bigger home on the western edge of Forks three weeks earlier and had invited all us of kids' home for the holidays. I hadn't been able to get back to town to help them move thanks to my hectic work schedule, but Seth enlisted the help of most of his friends to get it done with minimal cost. Charlie and Sue were both pleased with the major change in their life, so I was happy for them.

On the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, I spent the afternoon doing laundry in my small laundry room in my apartment and packing to go home for a few days. Sue had called to remind me to make sure I brought my Grandma Swan's pumpkin pie recipe because my father was insistent on me making it for Thursday's dinner. We hadn't had a holiday yet where it hadn't been made by either me or my grandma, and I wasn't about to stop one of the only traditions we had in the Swan household.

"I promise Sue, it's already in my purse. I emailed you the list of ingredients so that you can pick stuff up today," I explained casually as there was a soft knock at my door and I continued talking to her on my cell phone, heading across the apartment and towards my door. "You said you were gonna go today right?"

"Yeah Bella, I printed the list off. I promise to get everything you listed. Is there anything else you want?" she asked sweetly, her voice coming across so motherly that I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face.

"Edward to be at Thanksgiving dinner?" I asked, my voice dripping sarcasm cause I knew that wouldn't happen. Edward and I had last spoken the night before with him apologizing over and over again because he couldn't make it and with each apology, even though I knew he was remorseful about the situation, it simply made me miss him more.

"No can do sweetie. I can't perform miracles. Now go answer your door and I will talk to you later," said Sue as I reached my door and turned the knob. Without looking up, I hung up our call and tossed my cell phone on the table beside the door.

"Can I help you with something?" I asked as I turned around and looked up, coming face to face with the sparkling green eyes of Edward himself. "Holy shit."

"Is that a good holy shit?" he asked sweetly as he dropped his bags onto the floor outside my door and swept me up into a huge hug, his arms wrapping tightly around me as he buried his head into the side of my neck, drinking me in.

"That's an excellent holy shit," I said as he put me back on me feet and I grabbed his hand and dragged him into my apartment. "What on earth are you doing here? Last night you said you couldn't make it."

Edward grabbed his laptop bag and luggage from the hallway and brought them in with him, resting them on the floor and closing the door behind him. "I'm behind on some class work but James basically forced me to leave. He said he was tired of me moping around and made me come home to you. He insisted I could get most of my reading done on the flight and so far he's been right. He was heading home last night on the red eye, so we drove to the airport together. You're not upset I surprised you right?"

I stood there in my living room, still shocked to see him standing a few feet from me. His hair was all over the place, he had big bags under his eyes and he looked like he had lost about ten pounds since heading back to Dartmouth, but the bright smile across his face belied everything else. "Fuck, I missed you," he breathed out as he stalked across the room, wrapping his arms around my waist, his lips instantly attaching to mine as he pushed me against the far wall. I let out a small gasp as he moved his hips against me, his arousal clear as day in his jeans.

"I missed you too. Of course I'm not upset, I'm thrilled to see you," I gushed cheerfully as Edward pulled back slightly. "I'm in the middle of packing. I told Charlie & Sue I would come to see them for Thanksgiving," I said, my voice laced with a hint of regret because had I known Edward was going to be here, I would have changed my plans so I could be alone with him for a few days.

"I know. We're going together. Sue already knows I'm coming and is planning accordingly." My mouth fell open in shock as Edward grabbed my hand and dragged me to the couch, where I sat comfortably on his lap and he nuzzled my cheek tenderly with his nose. I would definitely give Sue a stern talking to when I saw her for misleading me on the phone. "I called her from the airport when I landed because you mentioned your plans to me last night. Esme and Carlisle are coming over to your Dad's place for dinner too. There may have been promises of pumpkin pie."

"I'm still shocked you are sitting here. I know it's only been like three months that you've been away, but it feels so much longer," I admitted nervously as I felt his hand move slowly up my thigh, rubbing it gently. "This was harder than I thought it would be."

"I know baby," Edward replied as his lips descended on mine once more before pulling away. "You don't even know the number of times I contemplated just giving up and coming back, effectively losing my last year. I wanted to be with you that much."

"Oh my god, I was so lonely without you one day that I almost quit the hospital. One of the other nurses, my friend Jodie, convinced me I was being insane and that the wait was worth it. However, can I just say for the record that being away from you completely sucks."

"I agree," Edward said firmly as we both nodded our heads in agreement. "However, speaking of sucking," he said in a whisper as his mouth descended on my ear and he sucked my lobe into his mouth. "We only have one night alone before we have to drive to Forks tomorrow… I don't want to waste a single second."

Without any warning, Edward swept me up into his arm and carried me into my bedroom, with me giggling the entire way. We spent the rest of the night making love, talking about our concerns about being apart and reassuring each other that the separation was worth it. I loved him and I couldn't imagine not having him in my life, so being apart was just something I would deal with.

I finished packing early the next morning as Edward made us breakfast. Of course this was after we took a very long shower together, which culminated in us fucking against the tile wall in my cozy shower. The drive to Forks was long, but it gave Edward and I even more time to chat about things that were happening in our lives. Jasper had asked Emmett to be his best man at his wedding next summer and had asked Edward to be one of the groomsmen. Of course, Alice had planned it all out that we would be walking with our significant other. She had come over the week before for a night of wine drinking and made me help her plan her wedding website, which had we not been drunk, would have probably turned out really nice. As expected though, Jasper wasn't really thrilled with the fact that she wrote she was marrying Gerard Butler instead of him on their website. We giggled about it for hours and she called two days ago to let me know that the site was working correctly, with the proper name, courtesy of some work from her fireman fiancé.

As it turned out, all of our friends were going to be back in Forks for Christmas, so I skirted around the issue with Edward, thinking that because he was here now, he probably wouldn't be able to make it then, and I was surprised when he mentioned being out of school for over almost three weeks for Christmas. "Of course I'm coming home," he said with a grin as he pulled into the Forks town limits and I directed him towards Sue & Charlie's place.

"This was just an added bonus. My parents have already paid for me to come home then. The e-ticket is actually in my email as we speak," he said as he reached over and wrapped his hand around my fingers tightly. "In fact, I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I stayed with you for a few days before and after the holidays. If you are okay with that of course. I can't stay for the entire three weeks because I need to get some work done back in Hanover, but I have like a week planned to come back to Seattle."

"Hell yes I'm okay with that," I replied excitedly.

Within minutes we were pulling into the gravel filled circular driveway at the new house. It was a decent sized two story, light blue old farmhouse. They had over three acres of land behind the house, but they didn't really have plans for it. It was the house and its details that compelled them to buy it. Seth was standing in the driveway working on his new car. Well, it was new to him but it was actually his dad's old car. Sue was going to scrap it and Seth decided to restore it as best as he could, not only so he could drive it, but also in memory of his dad. Sue had mentioned in passing that Jake was helping him fix it up when he could, and I tried not to get upset about the situation. Even though Seth was like my little brother now, he had known Jake as long as I had, if not longer. I couldn't deny them their friendship, because that would be like denying myself Edward. It was just something that was, Sue often called us a force of nature.

After greeting Seth and not letting him hug me since he was covered in grease, Edward helped me bring my luggage into the house and we spent a bit of time catching up with Sue and my dad before Edward took the rental car, which he had picked up from the airport the day before in his effort to surprise me, and drove to his parents' house for the night. Leah showed up just after dinner and even though I busied myself making the much desired pumpkin pies while talking to her and Sue about the changes in all of our lives, it felt like something was missing from my night.

The next day, Edward came back over to Charlie & Sue's house with Esme and Carlisle. Seth cornered him and dragged him back outside to see his car while I was in the kitchen talking to Sue. We were discussing how our lives were progressing and she was telling me about all the changes she and my dad wanted to make to the house in the next year or two.

Now that Esme was healthy again, she had been spending more time out and about with Sue, discussing decorating for both of their houses. I knew Sue was anticipating a proposal from my father and I feared that he would never do it after the way things ended with my mother. I shook my head from the memories of her and looked back towards Sue who was getting a tender kiss from my father before he strolled out to the backyard to get some logs for the fire, with Scrappy following closely at his feet. I loved that they were building their lives together and often found myself daydreaming about Edward and I settling down, having a house and tending to a garden.

"Shit… my garden," I cursed as I saw Edward walk into the kitchen with a smile on his face.

"What's wrong with your garden?"

"It's just there at the other house. No one is tending to it anymore. I know that Sue and Charlie did when I moved out, but now no one lives there. He's talking about renting it out, but renters probably wouldn't give a shit about my garden," I stated as Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed just below my ear.

"Bella… I'll build you a garden anywhere you want one."

"You do realize I will take you up on that one day, right?"

"I'm counting on it."

**A/N: Just so you know, the next chapter is 75% done and should make it to the beta in the next few days. I'm kinda eager to get this story completed by the end of the month, so I may be slow on updates for Sundrenched World, but don't stress, they are coming.**

**I'm also up for auction again this year as part of Fandom Gives Back. More details to come closer to the auction in June, but if you want to sign up visit their site: thefandomgivesback (dot) com**


	37. My Forward Movement

**A/N: Evening All! Not much going on in my neck of the woods these days. The usual thanks to my beta MaggieMay14, whose comments usually make me laugh like crazy. Thanks to my awesome and supportive pre-readers: Risbee, flightlessbird11, TwiOthGirly, TillyWhitlock and Beegurl13. They are all wonderful authors, so go check them out.**

**I don't own Twilight; I do have a husband who can't change the toilet paper roll though. I've been doing a little experiment and there are now three empty rolls on my counter and one on the roll. Apparently he really is that lazy!**

**Who wants more fluff?**

**EPOV**

"So I'm proposing to Vicky for Christmas," James said while he drove me to the airport in Lebanon. I was catching a flight out to Boston and then one that took me direct to Seattle, where Bella was going to pick me up from the airport. My parents had given me the tickets home months ago, but insisted they were my Christmas gift, which I didn't mind. In fact, it was the best gift in the world to me, because I was getting to see Bella again. It had only been a month, but it felt like forever.

"I can't say I'm surprised man," I replied as I patted him on the back supportively. "You guys seem perfect for each other, really." It was the god's honest truth. James and Victoria went together like peanut butter and jelly or umm… other things that go together well. They were both uber competitive and would make an interesting married couple. I could practically see them at Lamaze classes trying to outdo the other expectant parents. I really was pleased for them and it was about time they started planning for their life together outside of college, because it was quickly approaching.

"Thanks. I just hope it works out alright. We're going to Stowe skiing for the holidays and I'm hoping to surprise her on Christmas Eve. Her parents have a cabin and the entire family will be there. I know it's a little trite, but she said she loves Christmas more than anything, so I'm running with it," James said and I could see his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly in nervousness.

"Well then it sounds like it will be fine. You guys have been together for like three years, she'll say yes. Don't worry about it," I said as I tried to reassure him. I truly didn't think he had anything to be concerned about when proposing to Vicky, but he clearly thought otherwise.

"How would you do it man? How would you propose to Bella?" he asked and my mind stepped into overdrive because to be honest, proposing to her was not something that was in the forefront of my mind, but I would be lying if I said I never thought about it. I was in love with the girl wholeheartedly, of course I thought about spending the rest of my life with her. However, since we had only been back together for like six months, and a good chunk of that time was spent apart, I wasn't ready to seriously consider anything like marriage. Bella would probably laugh at me if I was to propose to her now anyways.

"I'd probably try and mark off one of the things on her list. You know, make it unforgettable for her. She used to always talk about having memorable moments, so I would do something she always wanted to do," I stated as my mind thought of some of the possible ideas I could do one day. She did always want to go spend New Year's Eve in Times Square, so that was a consideration, even though it was kind of silly and overdone. Every year when watching the ball drop, there was always some guy proposing to his girlfriend on TV. I didn't want to be that guy though. I needed something a little more fitting of us. I shook my head from the thought and remembered it was way too soon to even think about it. "Don't be nervous about how you propose. I'm sure Vicky will just be happy that you are doing it at all. It's not always about the execution, but sometimes it's just about the sentiment. Tell her how you feel."

"You should be a psychologist, or do one of those sex shows like Dr. Drew."

"Nice try asswipe. Now pull in front so I can catch my flight in an hour please," I said with a grin as James pulled to a stop in front of the airport and I hopped out, grabbing my luggage from the trunk. I put it down on the sidewalk and leaned in the passenger side window. "I'll see you in eight days. Merry Christmas… and good luck man," I added as I waved goodbye to James and strolled into the airport, eager to get on my flight and head home to Bella.

My flight seemed to take forever, but I was relieved when it arrived early and I discovered that Bella was already at the airport waiting for me. As I walked towards her, Bella noticed me coming out of the doors and ran towards me eagerly. My heart soared knowing how much she had missed me during the past few weeks. "I may have been a little bit excited that you were coming back today," she said with a grin as she pulled me in for a big kiss that resulted in both of us gasping for air. "Come on; let's go get your luggage."

We walked hand in hand down to the luggage area and Bella remorsefully explained to me that she couldn't get out of working the next day, which was a relief since I was still having trouble finding the perfect present for her. I had talked to Alice at length over the past few weeks and she had provided me with dozens of excellent suggestions, none of which seemed to work for me because they weren't enough to express just how I felt about Bella.

We were not at the same point as James & Victoria, so an engagement ring was out of the question, but I wanted something with meaning. Something that told her I was in this for the long run. Unfortunately, finding a gift with such significance wasn't an easy thing to do.

"Penny for your thoughts," asked Bella as I noticed my bag pass by us on the carousel and I tried to grab for it, but was too late. Well, I probably could have grabbed for it, but I would have knocked down two senior citizens and a blind man with a guide dog. I wasn't about to do that with a few days before Christmas.

"Sorry. I think I'm just jet lagged," I lied anxiously as she quirked her eye brow at me and I wrapped my arm around her shoulder tightly, watching again for my bag.

"I'm sorry I can't be around for you tomorrow. I hope you aren't mad, it's just something I couldn't get out of if I wanted to be in Forks for Christmas."

"I'm not mad at all Bella. I know how important your job is and I know you have been establishing yourself as a nurse that can be trusted, respected and relied upon. I don't expect you to drop everything because I have a few extra days to visit you," I replied honestly. Bella offered up a gentle smile in response and shouted out when she saw my bag passing on the conveyor again. I grabbed it quickly and then we headed off into the cool Seattle air, both of us in a rush to get back to her place.

We spent the evening cuddling on the couch after Bella had finished wrapping her final gifts for our families. I rested a little bit while she wrapped and just before nine, we strolled off into bed and made love until we both passed out. I couldn't help but think this would be how our life would be if I moved in with her. It would be comfortable and everything I always wanted, but I wasn't sure if she felt the same way. Anytime I had mentioned it before, she wasn't exactly jumping at the chance for us to move in together. I slept restlessly all night, my mind in overdrive as I had a nightmare where Bella and I argued constantly regarding our future, and we finally just called it quits. It was at this point I woke up startled. I sat up and wiped the sweat from my forehead as I looked at the clock. It was 2:35 in the morning. I tried to go back to sleep, but I was still agitated and sleep didn't come easily.

When I awoke the next morning, I felt the soft touch of Bella's lips pressing against my forehead. "I'm heading out to work. I left you a spare key on the counter," she said sweetly as I pulled at her wrist and yanked her back into bed. "Don't start anything. You know I can't resist you and then I'll be late for work," she added as I grabbed at the hem of her shirt and tried to pull it over her head unsuccessfully.

"Scrubs are fucking hot," I said seriously as I leaned down and kissed her belly button, my tongue swirling around it as she yelped in surprise and jumped back from the bed and subsequently my grasp. "When does your shift start?"

"In thirty minutes, which is why we don't have the time baby," she replied as she leaned down and pressed her lips firmly against mine, my entire body aching to pull her towards me and wrap around her, keeping her with me for the entire day. "Anyways, don't you have some Christmas shopping to finish?"

Shit. She was right.

"Yeah, I do. Why do you always have to be the voice of reason?" I let out a huge sigh as Bella gave me one more kiss and sprinted out of the room. She was clearly eager to be at the hospital on time, and I had already kept her longer than needed. After a very long shower, I decided to grab something to eat while I was out and ended up grabbing a coffee and bagel at a local bakery, which was surprisingly wonderful. I walked down to Pine Street and window shopped for what seemed like ages, nothing sticking out in my mind as something that was suitable to give to Bella for Christmas. I went into a few stores and some salespeople tried valiantly to help me, but it was very depressing to not find anything. I eventually texted Alice, who informed me she was in the middle of her pre-Christmas mani-pedi, whatever the fuck that was, and that she couldn't come help me. It felt hopeless.

Of course, that was the moment I saw it.

Just as I felt like I would never find anything that was perfect for Bella, out of the corner of my eye I noticed a necklace hanging from a small display in a shop window. It had a small dangling heart that matched perfectly to the bracelet I had given to her for our first Christmas together. That had also been the first time I said I loved her. Of course these days I said it constantly because I never wanted her to doubt my feelings, but it didn't belittle the significance of the gift.

I ran into the store breathlessly and quickly handed over the three hundred dollars for the necklace before heading back to the apartment, determined to make Bella something for dinner. As I walked back towards her apartment, I passed a small floral shop and got a great idea, and stepped instead to finish formulating my plan. I stressed for weeks about what to get for Bella, and now all of a sudden I walk down a street and I get ideas left, right and center.

Later that night, when Bella walked in the door looking absolutely exhausted and downtrodden from her shift, I was putting the finishing touches on the lasagna I had made for us for dinner.

"You cooked?"

"Yeah, I cooked," I replied with a grin as she dropped her coat on a chair in the dining room and came towards me. "I'm a really good cook I'll have you know."

"It smells really good." She turned her head slightly and took in the new additions to her small living room area. "What the hell did you do?"

"Well, I couldn't very well plant you a garden out on your balcony, so I figured this was the next best thing. Let's consider it an early Christmas present." A beautiful smile graced her face as she moved around the room, looking at the various plants and flowers I had delivered from the shop. They were surprisingly accommodating when I bought $500 worth of plants and told them I lived two blocks away. I even got a few poinsettias to make the apartment feel a bit more like it was Christmas. All Bella had in her apartment to make it look festive was a huge selection of Christmas cards from friends and family. Hell, even Victoria had made James and I put up a Christmas tree. Sure, it was sad and no doubt all the needles would be on the floor when we got back to Dartmouth, but at least we did something for the holidays.

"I'm just… I'm shocked."

"I have many talents you have yet to discover," I replied as I kissed her temple sweetly and wrapped my arm around her waist as she ran her fingers reverently down the leaf of the fern I got her. "I'll show you when you finally agree to let me move in."

"Edward…" Bella let out a small sigh and I immediately felt remorseful for pressuring her. I knew she hadn't decided yet about me moving in late in the spring, even though we had talked about it in passing since she first moved in to the apartment. I didn't want to rush her, but I couldn't just let it continue to fester within me. Bella and I had agreed on being honest with each other when I moved away, and this was just me trying to be truthful. However, based on the look on her face, this definitely wasn't the right time for such a heavy discussion.

"Hold on… let me turn back time and we can pretend I didn't say that since I can tell by the expression on your face that you wish I hadn't," I replied as I let go of her and bent down to pull the garlic bread I had made out of the oven. I rested the bread on the counter to cool and when I turned around, Bella had tears in her eyes. Could this get any worse? "I'm sorry."

She moved into the living room and curled herself into a ball on the couch. I tentatively went over and sat behind her, stroking her hair slowly as her crying eased a bit. "I'm not trying to put pressure on you at all. It's just… you have to tell me what you want. Do I need to find my own place in a few months? I've already applied to the UW Medical School and with my grades there should be no issue getting in." Fuck, now I was rambling.

"Can we just enjoy your time here and worry about it later?" she asked as she brushed tears from her cheek and I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly.

"You know it's just because I want to be with you forever right?" I said as I felt her head lean back onto my shoulder.

"I know."

"Do you want to tell me why you are worried then?"

"Sometimes, I can't help but wonder when the other shoe will drop," she said quietly as I turned her slightly until she was looking at me and the tears started brimming in her eyes again. "I can't help but sometimes question why you are with me and then that leads to me thinking that you might leave." She whispered the last part so quietly, I almost thought I had heard differently, but I couldn't mistake the lack of confidence she had in me and it hurt.

"Look at me," I said as I rested my fingers under her chin and lifted her head until she was looking at me head on. "I don't know why you are second guessing our relationship. Everything was great until you came home tonight. You need to believe me when I say that I am in this… with my entire heart and soul. You're it for me."

"At work… I've had the pleasure of working with a young girl; she's ten years old. She had been suffering from leukemia for years and finally seemed to be getting better, but she died this afternoon unexpectedly." Bella brushed the tears from her eyes again and straightened up her back a bit as she tried to tell her story. "I'd been shadowing one of the nurses on her case for about a month and I would chat to her on my breaks and let her know it's possible to beat the cancer. She was really optimistic about everything, and then this happened. I saw a lot of myself in her, and it just reminded me of how things broke down between us."

I nuzzled my face into Bella's neck and held her close. No matter how often I apologized or reassured her, I knew my past mistakes would always haunt us. "Bella," I tried to say, but her fingers covered my lips and she silenced me as she looked at me with such desperation in her eyes.

"I have to say this, because I need you to know something," she said firmly as she turned slightly and moved her body closer to mine, practically sitting on my lap. "I forgave you, and I meant it with my entire heart when I said it. However, there will be times when I am reminded of what happened between us. It won't ever go away Edward. It's always going to be a part of our past. It's part of who we are as a couple."

"You don't need to apologize anymore for what happened, but I need to come to terms with moving on from it completely. I want you to move in here with me later in the spring when you graduate. I want you to share my bed and my life, which is why I'm sharing my feelings with you now. Don't ever doubt how I feel about you, even though I sometimes worry about losing you."

"You'll never lose me," I said stoically as I held her hand tightly in mine, our fingers entwining. "I'd propose to you right now if I knew you would stop having doubts about my need for you in my life. I need you like I need air to breathe. "

"Excuse me… you'd what?" she stuttered out incredulously as I sat there completely dumbfounded at my stupidity. Where the hell was this complete lack of verbal filter coming from?

"It's just… James is proposing to Victoria over the holidays and it's something I've thought about. I've thought a lot about marrying you and making a future together. Hell, I thought about that while we were in high school," I admitted anxiously as Bella grabbed my face and kissed me fiercely. "I would do anything for you."

"You're not proposing now though… right?" she asked with a quirked eye brow. She was shaking slightly and I knew she was even more nervous now than she had been a moment before.

"No. I'd do something a little grander than just toss it out there while I was reassuring you about my devotion to you Bella." She breathed a slight sigh of relief and I kissed the end of her nose briefly. "Just don't doubt something like me leaving you. It's the last thing I would ever consider doing. You are my life Bella. It's you and me, okay?"

"Okay," she replied with a small smile as she looked up at me through her eyelashes. "You can move in with me in the spring. I'd like nothing more."

"Good. Cause I was really starting to fucking freak out. Can we eat now, I'm starving?" I jumped up from the couch and reached my hand out to Bella, which she took eagerly. I breathed a huge sigh of relief when she strolled into the kitchen and began to slice up the garlic bread. We had just had one of the most involved conversations since I had moved back to college, but we were stronger for it, I knew that for a fact. I just hoped that her own reservations didn't overwhelm her. However, I would spend the rest of my life proving my remorse to her for what happened all those years ago.

The rest of our night was fairly calm, compared to our rather frank discussion from earlier in the evening. We ate our dinner and talked about the long drive to Forks the next day. I helped Bella finish her laundry and then we packed one bag to take with us, rather than lug all my luggage in the rental car I had gotten us. During the past few weeks I had tried to talk Bella into buying or leasing something, but she didn't see the point. She could walk to work or take public transit and she saw her friends directly after work so they all went out together. I knew it made sense; I just didn't like seeing that she wasn't able to get back to Forks as much as I knew she wanted to.

When we crawled into bed that night, both of us exhausted beyond words, we curled around each other, my hand stroking her cheek softly. "When do you want to exchange gifts?" I asked curiously. I didn't really want to give her my gift in front of her entire family on Christmas morning. I wanted us to be alone and preferably post coital when I gave it to her.

"What's wrong with now?" Bella replied as she nuzzled into my chest, her arm clutching me tightly as though she thought I was going to leave her. I let out a small sigh but I knew this was something I was going to have to get over as time went on. She would always worry, though hopefully not always as intensely, that I would leave her and I would also hate that she feared that. I would work on her confidence in us though and in my mind it was a small concession to make if it meant she was mine for the rest of our lives.

"Umm… mine isn't wrapped. I was gonna have my mom help me with that when we got back to Forks," I said with a laugh. "Plus, I only got it earlier today."

"A last minute gift? Is it a gift certificate to the fruit of the month club?"

"Not quite. Don't knock my gift by the way. A lot of thought went into it. Alice will vouch for me too," I said with a kiss to her temple as she then shimmied out of my grasp and went into her closet to get what I assumed was my gift. She came out with a fairly decent sized box that was wrapped perfectly, with a big bow in the center of it, and I felt bad that I hadn't yet had a chance to wrap mine. I should have had them do it at the store, I cursed at myself. "Okay… so this gift is kinda for both of us."

"Is it filled with sex toys?" I said with a grin, my voice filled with humor and Bella just shook her head at me as I began shaking the box excitedly. It didn't do anything.

"No."

"Hmm… is it slutty lingerie?"

"Have I ever worn slutty lingerie?" Bella questioned as I pouted and slowly shook my head. "You want me to wear slutty lingerie?" she croaked out as she handed the box over to me tentatively. I hopped from the bed and fished her box from my luggage, and slipped it under my pillow before getting comfortable again.

"There's nothing wrong with lingerie you know."

"I never said there was. I'm just… you never mentioned that you liked it."

"Baby, I like anything involving you and I'm sure I will love this gift. Can I open it?" Bella curled into my side and urged me to open it, my fingers ripping the paper with ease and feeling a little bad because it took me seconds to tear it to shreds and probably took her ten minutes to wrap. When I finally got the paper off, I lifted the lid off of the box and came face to face with a life jacket. "Umm… I'm confused."

"Look under the life jacket."

I lifted the slightly obnoxious orange vest and rested it on the bed beside me, before I noticed a small envelope on the bottom. When I finally had that opened, I was shocked to see that Bella had gotten us a weekend white water rafting getaway on the Wenatchee River in Washington. "This is awesome baby. I thought you've been rafting though?"

"I have been rafting, but never with you. I want to do everything with you, and I thought you would enjoy it."

"Hell yes I will enjoy it. Even more because you are coming with me," I said sincerely as I wrapped my arms around her tightly and kissed her lips, her mouth responding eagerly to mine as we moved together. I was about to move my hand down to cup her ass and hopefully move things in a more amorous direction when Bella pulled away and looked at me expectantly. "I guess you want your gift right?"

"Well, that is only fair, Cullen," she said with a sigh as she sat up and held her hands open, waiting impatiently for me to give her something. I reached for the box under my pillow and handed it to her before sucking in a deep breath. I was nervous.

Bella opened it slowly, lifting the lid off and when she saw the necklace, she let out a small gasp. "It's just like…" Tears started to flow from her eyes and I reached up and brushed them away, her face leaning into my hand for support.

"It's just like your bracelet," I said, finishing her sentence as she nodded her head over and over again in response.

"I haven't worn that bracelet in the longest time," she said, her voice full of remorse as I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and held her tight against my chest. I stroked her hair slowly as she continued to talk to me through her sobs. "I took it off and put it away so long ago Edward. Even when we got back together it still reminded me of our past, so I couldn't put it back on. I want it back on though."

"If it reminds you of bad times baby, you don't have to wear it," I said simply as Bella lifted up the hair at the back of her neck and had me put the necklace on her. Of course, it looked perfect and I leaned in and kissed her neck sweetly before she jumped up from the bed to get the matching bracelet from her jewelry box. When she came back, she handed it to me, along with her wrist and asked me to fasten it back on. Once it was in place, a barrage of memories came back from when I first gave it to Bella all those years earlier.

"It's perfect," Bella exclaimed as she looked reverently at the bracelet while one hand clutched at her necklace.

"Yes, you are," I muttered as I kissed her slowly and we leaned down in bed together, talking about our dreams and hopes for the future before slipping into a comfortable sleep.

Bella and I spent the next day driving to Forks and then spent two days shuffling back and forth between our parents' places. We spent Christmas Eve together at Charlie and Sue's house, and then the day after we spent with my parents, but we all ate Christmas dinner together at Charlie & Sue's. It turns out Charlie had finally broken down and proposed to Sue on Christmas Eve in front of the entire family, with the blessing of both her kids and Bella. It was really a very sweet moment and Charlie apologized for taking so long for proposing, though Sue insisted it didn't bother her, she was just ecstatic that he did finally propose.

On the 26th, we met up with Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper at the diner in town and spent a few hours catching up. The girls chatted happily about the wedding, while Jasper and Emmett declared me lucky as hell for getting such a wonderful Christmas gift from Bella. Jasper groaned because Alice got him a spa day, which she insisted he use before the wedding. I'm shocked she couldn't hear him rolling his eyes as he told us with a scowl what he had gotten. Emmett, as per usual, got season tickets to the L.A. Lakers, courtesy of Rosalie and her grandfather, who coughed up most of the cash for them. It was slightly bittersweet when we said goodbye, knowing full well the next time we saw each other we would all be college graduates and getting ready for Alice & Jasper's wedding.

I stayed in Seattle with Bella until January 2nd and we spent New Year's Eve making love, drinking champagne and watching the fireworks as they went off over the sound. It was perfect. Rather than have to suffer through a tear filled farewell at the airport, which would no doubt turn both of us into blubbering messes, I drove the rental to Sea-Tac by myself after Bella and I agreed that she would come out to Dartmouth for Valentines' Day.

The next month dragged on unbearably slow. Between studying for classes, various projects, essays and preparing for Bella's visit, I was a nervous wreck. I wasn't sleeping; instead my thoughts ran wild as I anticipated the worst case scenarios when Bella finally came for her visit. I had visions of her and Victoria not getting along, or us running into someone from my past, and when I expressed my concerns to James, he just laughed at me. He reassured me that Victoria would be on her best behavior for the few days Bella was in town, but also reminded me that he was whisking Vicky away for the weekend to Killington, Vermont for some skiing and romance. I was thankful that the girls would only spend a day or two in each other's company because I was wary of what would happen.

On February 11th, when I finally picked Bella up from the airport in Lebanon she was more than ecstatic to see me. We ran to each other and I swept her up into my arms, holding on to her tightly as we kissed, our connection feeling ten times more intense than usual. Every time we reunited, my body eased into calm just from being near her and I reveled in it.

"It's probably wrong of me to say this, but I really hope this is the last time we reunite in an airport," I said with a grin as I kissed her again and then we headed towards the luggage carousel to grab her bags.

"Well, you do want me back for graduation right? I already booked my time off from work," said Bella with a small smile as I realized I had forgotten all about graduation in a few months.

"Of course I want you to come back for grad. So that will be the last time we have to reunite in an airport, hopefully for a long time," I said with a grin as I wrapped my arm over Bella's shoulder and we waited, somewhat impatiently. It was over an hour and a half later when we finally got back to my small rental in Hanover, and when we walked in, James and Victoria were making out like teenagers on the middle of our couch.

"What the hell?" I shouted out in frustration as we both watched, albeit reluctantly, as James began to adjust his pants and Victoria pulled her sweater back over her tank top. "I know you two are engaged now and seem to think that every room of my house is your own personal sex den, but is that any way to greet Bella? Couldn't you guys have been doing homework or something?"

"I was studying… anatomy," commented Victoria with a smug grin and a wink as she began eyeing up Bella suspiciously.

"Where's the fun in that Edward," laughed James as he moved across the living room and extended his hand to Bella. "It's great to finally meet you."

"Same here," Bella said quietly, no doubt embarrassed by the situation we walked in on.

"This stunning and sarcastic redhead is my fiancée Vicky," he said as he pointed towards her and she simply smiled and offered her hand as well before backing away. "Her bark is worse than her bite, I promise," added James in a whisper that everyone heard regardless.

"Thanks asshole," Vicky muttered as she rolled her eyes and looked up at Bella and I. "Why don't you guys go get settled. James and I already ordered some Chinese food from Ho-Lee-Chow for all of us." I was literally shocked at how nice Vicky was being, but based on the wink James shot me a moment later, I knew full well he had said something and she was actually on her best behavior. Later in the evening, James eventually confessed to me that he promised to do all the laundry for the rest of the year if Vicky behaved. It was well known in our house that it was her least favorite chore, so of course she jumped at the chance.

I led Bella upstairs to my bedroom, pointing out a few of the other rooms along the way. Once I had her luggage on the floor and the door was closed, I was practically mauling her as I pressed her against the back of the door as my lips attached to her neck. "Fuck, I've missed you," I said frantically as my hands grabbed the hem of her oversized sweater and I tried to pull it off of her. Unfortunately for me, Bella pushed me away and looked at me with a bit of anger in her eyes. This wasn't how I planned for all this to go.

"Your friends are downstairs and have made an effort to order dinner for us. Hell, Vicky even seems nice and like she wants to talk or something," Bella said as she lifted her large bag onto the bed and opened it up, trying to find something lighter to wear than the sweater she had worn on her flight. "I think we should at least play nice for a few hours, Edward."

Then Bella yanked her sweater off, along with her bra and slipped a rather tight long sleeved shirt on. My mouth hung open in surprise. To make matters worse, she then peeled off her jeans and the panties she had been wearing, and pulled on a pair of comfortable pants. "Umm… you forgot something."

"No, I didn't," Bella said with a straight face as I let out a small growl.

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"Maybe," Bella replied with a grin as she suddenly stepped from the room and I had to adjust myself before heading downstairs to join her. She was standing at the kitchen counter, talking cheerfully with Victoria who was pouring us all glasses of white wine. Unfortunately for me, this was how the rest of my night went. We spent time chatting in the living room with Victoria and James, Bella sitting on my lap and grinding herself slowly against my aching cock, even though our friends just thought she was trying to get comfortable.

All through dinner, all I could think about was the fact that Bella had nothing on under her clothes and was clearly trying to torture me in some way. However, it seemed Bella had a master plan in mind because when we got upstairs later that night, I was all over her like never before.

"Please don't do that again," I said with all seriousness as I pulled her shirt off and walked forward, pushing her knees up against the bed.

"Do what?" Bella responded as she pretended not to know what I was talking about.

"All night, Bella," I said with a growl as Bella sat down on the edge of the bed and I kneeled on the floor between her legs. "All night you teased me. I think it's time you got teased too." Bella simply smiled happily at me as I pushed her down by her shoulders onto my bed and grabbed the waistband of her pants, yanking them off and tossing them across the room. Something fell from my dresser, but I didn't really care, because I grabbed Bella's ankles and lifted them to the edge of the bed, leaving her spread wide open for me.

"Do you want to be teased?"

"Y-es," she croaked out anxiously as I used one finger to trace lightly around her clit, which was throbbing. I then dragged the same finger slowly between her wet lips and slid it inside of her, watching with rapt attention as she lifted her ass slightly off the bed as my finger pumped inside of her slowly.

"You are so wet for me."

"It's cause I need you so much."

"Promise not to go without panties again?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Cause I like to get you worked up. It means you'll fuck me hard," she said boldly as I looked down at her in surprise. She was propped up on her elbows, watching me closely and licked her lips in anticipation.

"I like when you tell me what you want." I leaned down and kept my eyes trained on hers as I stuck out my tongue and slowly lapped up and down her slit, my dick growing hard as I reveled in tasting her again. Fuck, she was perfect.

"Oh god… more of that. I want more of that," Bella forced out as I noticed her hands wrapped around my comforter and her face was watching me still, her bottom lip clutched between her teeth. I eased my finger slowly in and out of her, as my tongue continued its assault on her, tasting every inch of her wet pink slit and then biting on her clit, flicking it between my teeth as I felt her legs shaking around me.

"Oh sweet jesus… fuck me," Bella cried out as she came moments later, her one hand clutching at my head and holding me against her as she shook and screamed out my name. When her hands released from my head, I quickly tore my own clothes off and fetched a condom from the night stand. I was already hard as a rock and I desperately needed to be inside of her. With no second thought, I knelt on the bed and turned Bella slightly, lifting her leg onto my shoulder and gripping her hips firmly as I pressed hard inside of her until I was all the way in.

"Oh god… so fucking hot," I replied as I stayed still for a moment, before pulling back and fucking Bella as hard as I could, her entire body responding to me immediately upon entering her. Bella's hands went to her breasts and she kneaded them roughly as my eyes remained glued to hers, watching as she stared at me just as hard.

Bella's hips moved in time with mine, both of us groaning in pleasure as I wrapped my arm around her waist and flipped us over until she was riding me, her tits bouncing as she leaned back slightly, her hands resting on my knees as she plunged up and down, over and over again, on my throbbing cock. I used one finger to rub her clit furiously as Bella screamed out that she was coming again. The moment I felt her pussy clench around my cock, I was done for. I grunted loudly and pushed my hips up into her as I released, feeling fully sated and completely in love with the beautiful girl panting above me.

"Sleep?"

"Sleep would be good," I replied as Bella rolled off of me.

"Yeah, you dirty fuckers… sleep would be nice," shouted James through the bedroom door as Bella and I both yelped in mortification.

"Oh my god," Bella exclaimed as she jumped off of me running into the bathroom. "I can't believe he heard us."

"Yeah, and we heard that too," James added with a huge laugh.

"Go to bed asshole. It's not like I've never heard you two get it on," I screamed back as I went into the bathroom and calmed Bella down before we cleaned up and climbed back into bed, desperate for sleep.

The next few days of Bella's visit passed very casually. We hung out around town and I showed her the Dartmouth campus, which she fell in love with. I introduced her to a few of my teachers and fellow classmates, and Bella appeared to be having a good time. Victoria was even nice to Bella, talking to her about her life in Seattle and how she liked being a nurse. It was great to see them be friendly to one another, considering I had told Bella about my history with Victoria. I thought there might have been a hint of jealousy, but I was surprised to see how well that got along.

James and Victoria left on Thursday night for Killington, and the Friday was Valentines' Day, so I decided to take Bella out for a nice dinner. We had agreed not to exchange gifts because we instead decided to split the cost of her airfare from Seattle, agreeing that all we really wanted for Valentines was to be together. We ended up going to dinner at a small restaurant called the Canoe Club, where I was surprised we actually got a table considering it was Valentines. They also had the best salmon in town and I was salivating at the prospect of having it tonight. Well, it and Bella.

Unfortunately for me, nothing ever went as planned.

"Edward, is that you?" called a familiar voice as I cringed into the booth Bella and I were seated at. I busied myself with the napkin in my lap and hoped she didn't notice me, while also avoiding the stares of Bella, who sat beside me nervously eying up the girl walking towards us. "Edward. It is you. I didn't know you were back in Hanover."

"Siobhan, it's good to see you," I said through clenched teeth. Our last conversation, which was over the phone, hadn't ended on a good note and I really hoped that it wouldn't come back to bite me on the ass right now. "Yeah, I've been back since September to finish my final year and all that." I sat up a bit straighter and wrapped my arm over Bella's shoulder. "This is Bella, my girlfriend. Bella, this is Siobhan. She's an old friend of mine."

Bella politely reached out her hand to Siobhan, who took it and shook it easily, with a small smile on her face. I could tell she was sizing Bella up, wondering what the hell it was Bella had that she didn't, but based on the fact that she was accompanied by a guy, I figured she wasn't single anymore. "Oh, yeah this is Jack, and of course you remember Maggie, my sister. That is her boyfriend Darren."

"Nice to meet you all," I said genuinely as Siobhan just stood there, looking at me like I had some of my dinner on my face or something, but we hadn't eaten yet. "Did you want to talk to me?"

"Why didn't you call to tell me you were back in town?"

"Um… I don't think this is the time or place to discuss this," I said simply as she continued to stare me down.

"I just wanted an explanation Edward," she said, the anger radiating off of her in waves. I knew things hadn't ended well between us, but I had no idea she would harbor such feelings almost ten months later. "Fuck, this is awkward, but it's just… "

"Siobhan, Edward and I were attempting to have a nice romantic Valentine's dinner, which you are in the process of ruining. And by the looks on the faces of your friends, I don't think they are appreciating the fact that you making are a scene either," Bella said simply as she literally growled at Siobhan, which was both turning me on and scaring the shit out of me. "Plus, if I'm not mistaken wasn't it you who kept coming on to Edward when he insisted he just wanted to be friends, and didn't you call him while his mother was in the hospital and hang up on him?"

For once, I was suddenly relieved I had told Bella everything when we got back together.

"Um no… I just… never mind." Siobhan stammered nervously as she looked towards Jack and then her sister, looking like she was about to be ill or something. "Let's go. Have a wonderful Valentine's Day," she said as she linked her hand with Jacks' and began walking away to their table where the hostess was waiting impatiently. None of her friends looked particularly impressed about the situation though.

When they were gone, Bella turned in her seat slightly and looked at me with a stoic expression. "Well, that was awkward," she said simply as she grabbed her menu and stared at it like it held the answers to all of life's questions. She then began mumbling about what she wanted for dessert. She was currently debating with herself whether she wanted the warm apple galette or the butterscotch pudding, and I shook my head slowly and decided to just get our discussion over with.

"I had no idea she was going to be here," I said as Bella snapped her head towards me and offered a sweet, yet false, smile.

"I never thought you did Edward."

"Then what's with the icy stare and the ignoring me thing that you are doing right now?"

"It's nothing Edward."

"Whenever a girl says it's nothing, that always means it's something."

"Oh and you've been with so many girls that you know this for a fact?" she said acerbically as she turned back towards her menu just as our appetizers arrived, both of us opting for the soup of the day to warm us from the cool February air. However, my entire body chilled, knowing full well that this is something that had been on Bella's mind since she touched down in New Hampshire.

"Low blow Bella," I said as the frustration began boiling over and I groaned as I saw her fingers clench tightly around her menu. "Just say what you want to say and we can move on."

"I have nothing to say Edward."

"Oh, so you don't want to ask me how many more girls we 'may' run into that I have had some sort of relationship with? As a reminder, Siobhan and I were only friends. We never had sex and I never wanted to have sex with her. Does that make you feel any better?"

"Not really," she said as I noticed tears form at the corner of her eyes and she reached up to wipe them away, hoping I hadn't noticed.

"Why can't you be confident in our relationship Bella? Plus, why the hell do we keep screwing up holidays? First Christmas and now Valentine's Day. Should I wear a cup on Earth Day to protect the junk?" I was trying to make her laugh and distract her from what was going on between us, but it clearly wasn't working because she began crying more and calling attention to our table from the other patrons in the restaurant. I wrapped my arm over her shoulder and pulled her against my chest. "Are you worried about my past?"

"I just… fuck. It was one thing in Seattle to hear about it, but it's another thing to see it in person, you know?" she replied as she brushed more tears from her cheek and I ran my hand slowly down her arm, trying to soothe her. "I just wish I didn't have to know about it, you know?"

"I wish I could turn back time so a lot of things could be different, but I can't Bella. I just try to think positively and I tell myself that everything led me back to you, so it was all worth it," I said genuinely as Bella rested her head against my chest and I pulled her closer. "It's you I'm in love with Bella. It's you I'm here with and you I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. I don't know what to say to make this better for you."

"You just did Edward. I love you too. I promise I'm going to try and not let this bother me," she said simply as she grasped my face in her hands and kissed me gently.

"Once I'm out of Hanover, you won't even think twice about my past Bella. Just like once we're living together in Seattle, you won't worry about me leaving you again, because I promise to be so devoted to you, you'll yell at me for driving you nuts," I said with a small laugh as I kissed her again and then we both turned towards our soups, which were lukewarm at this point.

"You know what," Bella said with a mischievous smile. "I'm not really hungry anymore. How about we head back to your house, order some pizza and curl up in front of that fireplace in your living room."

"Umm… we haven't used the fireplace since we moved in."

"That's alright. I only wanted you to keep me warm anyways." Suddenly my hand shot up and I called our waitress over, giving her a twenty dollar bill for the two drinks and cold soups, both of which were barely touched. Once everything was taken care of, I grabbed Bella's hand and we ran out of the restaurant, unable to keep our hands off of each other the entire way home. I couldn't help but find myself hoping that we were like this forever; talking through our issues and always wanting each other.

**If you follow me on twitter, you already know that the very last chapter of TR was sent to my beta today. Following that there is an epilogue, so there are 2 chapters left to post technically. I will be auctioning off my services again as part of the Fandom Gives Back Auction, so if you are interested in a particular outtake, keep that in mind.**

**I have two rec's this week: The Ride by aylah50 and Relative Wind by Mac214. I recommended RW to Risbee and I seriously think she had to take a cold shower several times today after reading some of the fabulous chapters. **


	38. My Perseverance

**A/N: Hiya! So this is the last official chapter of The Resolution and I just want to say that I love every single one of you who has left a review, favorited or alerted this story. You guys make me wanna jam out with my clam out! **

**Huge fist bumps to my girls MaggieMay14, Risbee, Flightlessbird11, Beegurl13, TwiOthGirly and TillyWhitlock for keeping me sane and reassuring me that I was not a complete nut bar.**

**I don't own Twilight; I am however, cheering on my beloved Montreal Canadiens as they fight against Pittsburgh in the playoffs. Go Habs!**

**EPOV**

I really felt like everything was building to this moment, yet I was wholly unprepared when it actually happened. Graduation Day.

In late March I finally got my acceptance letter into the medical school at the University of Washington and my parents and Bella were both over the moon with excitement when I called them to tell them the good news. I even managed to get a bursary that I hadn't been expecting, and it helped pay for my first year's tuition. Of course my parents offered to pay for some expenses, and were actually surprised that they wouldn't be as much as they expected, because I told them I was moving in with Bella.

To say my mother was happy about the turn of events was an understatement. In fact, she was so enthusiastic about the entire thing, she put me and Bella on a two hour conference call with her to discuss specifics like when I was moving in, if she was going to my graduation and most importantly… if there was anything in particular we wanted to share with her. No doubt, she was insinuating that because we were moving in together that that an engagement had taken place, but she was mistaken. When Bella had to get off the phone to make it in time for a late shift at the hospital, my mother began interrogating me.

"So, you're going to be living in sin with Bella?" she said with a small snicker. I knew she didn't really see it as living in sin, but I'm sure she would have preferred things were a little different.

"Yes, and I am going to love every second of it," I said sarcastically as I heard her groan in the background. "Listen… I haven't proposed because I don't think we are in that place yet. It will happen eventually, alright?"

"Define eventually?"

"Maybe before the end of the year. I'm not really sure mom and don't hold me to that date either. With medical school coming up, I'm not exactly rolling in money to buy her a ring." I suddenly heard a gasp on the other end of the phone and then loud footsteps climbing the stairs. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong. I just had a bloody brilliant idea though." Oh god. This could not go well. "Don't roll your eyes at me Edward. I just remembered that I had your great-grandmothers engagement ring here. It's got a beautiful diamond in it and it's very dainty," she added as I could hear the enthusiasm in her voice.

"Who the hell says dainty anymore first of all. Secondly, just hold onto it okay. I really meant it when I said we weren't ready."

"When I saw Bella a few weeks ago, she said everything was going well between you guys. What's wrong?" my mother asked, the former excitement now gone and replaced with concern. I wasn't exactly sure if I should tell my mother or not that it was clear Bella was having difficulty trusting me. Not that I blamed Bella, not in the least actually, I blamed myself completely. However, my mother wouldn't exactly see it that way. She thinks I've more than made up for my past mistakes, but would she understand?

"Listen okay… there's nothing wrong between Bella and I. Except for the fact that we are a few thousand miles apart, we are doing pretty good."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Bella is just having issues in trusting me and I'm doing everything I can to make everything alright between us. I don't blame her for worrying because my past is sketchy at best, but she is just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Those were her words, not mine."

"Oh Edward, don't you realize that by proposing, you will alleviate all those fears she has about your commitment to her?" she said as I ran my fingers through my hair and then let out a silent scream. I knew she wouldn't listen to me about this and I regretted telling her. "I understand this is your life and all that, but I'm just looking out for both of you."

"Thanks mom, but really… it's not the time right now."

Our call ended shortly after that and I was actually shocked she never mentioned it in any further calls we had. Of course, all my hopes of her forgetting were dashed the moment she showed up at my house the day before graduation with my Dad and Bella. They had all travelled together from Seattle and though my parents were staying at a hotel near campus, Bella was staying with me. Shortly after we said our hellos, Esme cornered me in the kitchen.

"I brought the ring for you to look at. Just consider it," she shoved the ring box in my hand and then walked away like nothing ever happened.

So there I sat on June 13th, dressed in my hideous blue polyester gown sitting out on the Green with the rest of the graduating students. I glanced back over my shoulder and saw Bella standing up, back and to the left of me, with my mother who was taking a few photos of the grounds and campus. She looked beautiful in a simple white dress with a big blue bow around her waist and her hair pulled up into a sleek ponytail. It was at that moment that I wondered why the hell I was hesitating in proposing to her. Was my mother right and would all Bella's fears melt away if I asked her?

I looked at her and she waved at me before the Dean started the commencement ceremony, making it impossible for me to wave back. I turned back towards the front and pretended to listen to all the speakers, but instead my thoughts were all on my future with Bella. What the hell was best for us?

"Oh my god, that was awesome," shouted Bella as she wrapped herself around me once the entire ceremony was over. I was relieved and honestly, the ceremony was a bit tedious, so I couldn't figure out how she thought it was awesome.

"It was alright," I replied simply as I hugged her against my side and kissed her cheek tenderly. "By the way, you look beautiful today," I added as my mother and father stepped forward and offered me congratulatory hugs.

"I never thought, especially after last summer, that the day would come that you would graduate from Dartmouth," stated my dad with a wide smile on his face. I couldn't recall a moment he ever looked prouder of me, if I was being honest.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," I replied sarcastically.

"What? It has nothing to do with your ability; I just figured things would be drastically different when you and Bella reunited. I'm happy about both things though, although I'm looking forward to having you back in Seattle."

"Yeah, me too," said Bella as she rested her head on my shoulder and I kissed the top of her head. "Speaking of which, what time are we leaving in the morning?"

When I finally found out that I was accepted into UW's medical program, I sat down with James and we had a long discussion about what was going to happen when the year was over. James, because he had changed his major, still needed a few more classes and wouldn't be graduating until the following year. Victoria was continuing on with medical school at Dartmouth, so they wanted to keep the rental. Of course, I was all on board with this. They also went through the apartment and of the things I wanted to get rid of before I moved to Seattle, and bought 75% of the things I didn't want. I ended up giving the rest to the local Goodwill.

Bella was going to be driving across the country with me, most of my stuff shoved into the back of my car, or being shipped via UPS to her… our apartment. I was looking forward to several days in a car with her, and hoped we wouldn't get on each other's nerves being in such close confines, and thought that perhaps we would be able to talk through all our concerns. After all, I had that ring burning a hole in my pocket.

"I was thinking we would get an early start, like maybe around seven or so."

"Sounds perfect," Bella said genuinely as James and Victoria came over with her family, and we all exchanged casual pleasantries. I introduced my family and Bella to a few of my classmates, but for the most part, after a few photos on the Green, we left fairly early, avoiding some of the traffic. We went out to dinner that night, just the four of us, and it was very relaxed.

The next morning, Bella and I packed up the last few items from the house and put them in a car and I was excited to leave my life in Hanover, N.H. behind me. It seemed so weird to me that just four years ago I couldn't wait to get to Dartmouth, and now, with my diploma in hand; I really couldn't wait to leave.

Settling into our apartment had been an easier transition than I had expected. We worked well together, trading off chores and always seeming to be on the same page. Bella loved doing the laundry, so that was her chore, whereas I got the joy of vacuuming the bedroom and dusting. We shared cooking duty, with me doing most of the cooking on the weeknights because Bella was in work, and her doing a lot of it on the weekend. We hammered out all of our decisions regarding living together as we drove from Hanover.

Bella and I arrived in Seattle just after five on the Thursday evening, after stopping each night to rest. We weren't in a massive rush, since Bella had taken the week off of work, but I think both of us were anxious to get home and begin the newest phase of our life together.

The first night we spent in Niagara Falls, NY and did some sightseeing and rode the Maid of the Mist at the bottom of the falls, before settling in for the night and getting some good rest. Our second night we spent in Chicago, and the only thing we really saw there was the inside of our hotel room, as we were both exhausted and ended up sleeping in late that morning. Tuesday was our longest day of driving, as we decided to try and make up some time and ended up going straight to Bismarck, North Dakota.

Bella and I both realized that sixteen hours of driving was a bit much, so we cut the rest of the trip in half and ended up stopping in Butte, Montana for the night and staying in the grossest hotel I'd ever stayed in, before we woke up early and finished our trip. The moment we walked in the door, we both threw ourselves onto the couch and napped for two hours before deciding to empty the car and order food for dinner.

When I finally walked into our bedroom that night, I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face when I noticed a second dresser in the bedroom, which matched Bella's perfectly. "Well, you didn't think I was going to share my dresser with you, did you?" she said with a grin as she tossed all of her laundry into a bucket just inside her closet. "Ok… my only rules for laundry: the basket on the left is whites, the one in the center is colors and the right is darks. Any questions?"

"Is there going to be a test afterwards?" I asked sarcastically as she narrowed her eyes at me. "I'll take that as a no. I'm pretty sure I can handle your rules." I moved closer to her and wrapped my arms around her, kissing her neck softly.

"Second rule. Don't mock my rules about laundry."

"Consider it done. You know… we have like twenty minutes before dinner gets here and I don't really need to unpack today," I said as my hand moved down her arm suggestively.

"Whatever do you have in mind, Cullen?" she asked with a grin. I turned her around and dropped to my knees, tugging the soft fabric of her yoga pants down to pool on the floor. Just as my hand reached up to cup her panty covered pussy, there was a loud knock on the door. "Saved by the bell."

"Ugh, that just isn't right," I stated in frustration as Bella yanked her pants back up and strolled towards the front door, clutching her wallet in her hand. However, instead of finding the local delivery man on the other side of the door, there stood Alice and Jasper, holding the bags with our dinner. "What the hell are you guys doing here?"

"So much for trying to welcome Edward back home," laughed Alice as she ignored my frustration and went into the kitchen with Bella following behind her.

"It's not that we don't appreciate you visiting, a call would have been nice though," I added as I looked at Bella and she shrugged her shoulders while offering me a remorseful glance. I knew she wasn't overly pleased that we had been interrupted, but I vowed that we would pick up where we had left off. Traveling across country wasn't exactly conducive to one's sex life, so Bella and I hadn't done it at any of our stops. To say I was a little desperate for her would be an understatement.

To make matters worse, Alice and Jasper ended up staying till almost ten that night, discussing wedding details, seating arrangements, photography and dozens of other things I didn't find important. The only positive to the evening was that Jasper and I were able to sit back with some beers and enjoy the baseball game while the girls talked.

"What do you mean you don't want a big wedding?" asked Alice incredulously as my head perked up slightly from the couch and looked back towards the dining room where the girls were talking.

"It's not my style Alice. I have told you this over and over again. Just something little, maybe in my dad's backyard or at that small white clapboard church back in Forks."

"Isn't that the Christian Science church?" asked Jasper as I punched him gently in the shoulder.

"Actually, I think it no longer operates as a church but the town is trying to have it declared as a historical site cause it's so old," Bella replied as Jasper looked over at me with a small grin.

"Have you guys talked about getting married?" he asked me simply as I took a long pull of my beer and looked back at the TV where a commercial for Wendy's was pretending to hold my attention.

"Nope. This is the most I've heard about what she wants in a wedding," I admitted awkwardly.

"But you've been thinking about it right? I can tell by the way your vein is bulging on your forehead," he said quietly as I looked back at him and coughed slightly. "Do you have a ring?"

"Do you have some sort of special powers or something? How the fuck would you know that?"

"Call it a talent. I can just tell. I think it's because I've been hanging out with wedding crazy Alice for the past year," he said with a laugh as I simply nodded my head in response. "Well good for you man. When are you going to ask her? Do you think she will say yes? Are you worried?"

"Dude, stop alright?" I asked him as the game started back up again and I tried to look like we weren't talking at all. "Here's what I will say about the matter… I have a ring, it was my maternal great-grandmothers and my mother gave it to me last weekend. No, I don't know when or how I will ask her. I haven't managed to build up the courage because, to be honest, I'm not sure she would say yes right now. I'm going to wait. After all, today is the first night we will be living together on a permanent basis. Let's get over this hump first, alright?"

Jasper nodded his head in response and finally shut his mouth regarding wedding talk. Thankfully, the game ended not long after that and Jasper dragged Alice home, reminding her that they both had work the following day. After they left, Bella and I ended up falling asleep in our clothes on the top of our bed, no sex was had. Thankfully for my sex drive, it happened three times the next day and several more times that weekend.

Alice and Jasper had set their wedding date as Saturday July 31st, so the few weeks leading up to their wedding were very busy. I found myself heading over to the UW campus to get acquainted with it and meet with a few of my soon to be professors. When Bella came home each night, I tried to have dinner ready and then we would snuggle on the couch and watch a movie or call our parents before turning in for the night and making love.

It wasn't until two weeks before Alice's wedding that I noticed that Bella was looking a little tired and rundown. I figured it was just because of the stress of working a lot, having me living with her and Alice's upcoming wedding, but when I found her crying in the bathroom one night, I knew something more serious was going on.

"Bella, you need to tell me what is going on," I said as my voice was filled with worry. I couldn't help but wonder if she was about to break things off with me because I had been too clingy or she wasn't ready to live with me. After all, it had only been a month since I had moved in, but I thought things were going well.

"It's nothing Edward, really," she said as she wiped the tears from her rosy cheeks with the back of her hand and looked away from me.

"Are you going to break up with me?" I asked, unable to hold back my concerns anymore. Whenever a girl said it was 'nothing', it meant the opposite and I wasn't going to sit back and let my life fall apart around me.

"No. I love you so much Edward," she said as she grasped my face with her tear soaked hands.

"Then what's wrong?" I asked as she pulled her hands away from me and I grasped her around the waist and pulled her onto my lap.

"I'm late."

"For what?"

"What do you mean for what? For a soon to be doctor, you can be pretty dense."

"Oh," I said stupidly as my brain began moving a mile a minute, unsure of what to say to her. She was pregnant. We were having a baby. Certainly my mother would freak out now that we were living in sin and expecting a child, right? Holy shit. We were having a baby. I wondered if it would look more like me or Bella, maybe even a good amount of the two of us? This was unexpected, but it wasn't as if I didn't want this with her. We would deal with all of this together, and be stronger for it. Surely her doubts would go away when she saw how happy I was about this right? "That is fucking awesome."

Well, apparently that was the wrong thing to say because suddenly her tears starting flowing more than ever. "I'm not pregnant Edward."

**BPOV**

When I finally got up the nerve to visit my gynecologist that morning to figure out what the hell was going on, I was a bundle of nerves. I knew I should have told Edward sooner about my concern that I might be pregnant, but I wasn't ready. Together, Edward and I were in no place to have a child, even though I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it.

However, had I known in advance that Edward would actually have been excited about becoming a dad, I would have changed my mind. Seeing the look of disappointment on his face when I told him that I was in fact, not pregnant, was heartbreaking.

"If you were late, how are you not pregnant?"

"It was a false positive. I took a home test on Monday and it said I was pregnant. Of course, I immediately set up a test with my gynecologist who told me it wasn't the case. It was all just stress induced."

"Oh," said Edward as he nuzzled his face into my neck and let out a small sigh.

"I'm sorry I got your hopes up."

"No, you told me what I needed to know, Bella."

"I didn't know you wanted kids," I said honestly as Edward pulled back and looked at me incredulously.

"I want everything with you Bella. The rings, the white picket fence, the minivan full of kids and the finger paintings on the fridge. I want it all." He looked so serious as he spoke, that I couldn't help but find myself wondering how long he had been thinking about these things. I wanted them with him, more than I could possibly explain, but until then I don't think I grasped just how much he felt the same.

"The doctor told me that because of my medical history, it would be best to wait to try to have a child."

"Well, I'm all up for waiting since I don't think we are ready for any unexpected surprises right now, but how long did he say to wait?"

"Ten years."

"Ten years?" Edward spluttered out in surprise.

"Well, not from today, but from when I went into remission. So really, more like six years from now. Are you okay with that?"

"Bella, do you want to be with me six years from now and have my kids?" Edward asked with a grin as I nodded my head eagerly, the tears falling quicker than I could wipe them away. "That makes two of us. Now don't move." Edward suddenly got up from the floor of the bathroom and stepped into the bedroom, like a man on a mission. When he came back in, he sat back on the floor and pulled me on his lap again, holding me tight in his grasp.

"What are you doing?"

"Proving something to you," he stated simply as I looked at him with confusion clear on my face. "You just said you wanted me years from now, and you already know that I want everything with you. Every bump in the road, every single fight over who does the dishes and every single moment of intimacy. So… will you marry me?"

I looked down and Edward was holding the most beautiful antique ring, with a gorgeous round diamond on it, between his thumb and forefinger. It literally took my breath away. I clutched my hand to my chest and just stared down at the ring. "It used to belong to my great-grandmother Platt. She gave it to my mother years ago, and my mom wants you to have it. Well, she wants you to have me too, but we're a package deal. Say yes to the ring and you get me as an added bonus."

I had no idea what to say to him, all I could think about was the fact that Edward was proposing to me on the bathroom floor of our apartment as I cried in his arms about us not being pregnant. I may have gotten my own hopes up in the process of confirming things with my doctor, envisioning Edward with a baby boy cuddled up against his chest as they both slept soundly.

"So… ?" Edward urged as I shook the thought from my head for a moment and looked down at his fingers again. I couldn't help but notice that his fingers were shaking as he waited for me to say something.

"Are you doing this because I thought we were pregnant?" I asked, anxiously. Thankfully, Edward didn't get angry at the question, instead he looked at me with a hint of sadness.

"To be honest, I've been thinking about it for a while, but never wanted to rush anything with us for fear of losing you. However, the moment you said you saw a future and wanted kids with me, I knew you were no longer worried about my past. I love you. I trust you. And I could never be with anyone other than you."

Tears started to flow from my eyes again, this time from happiness and I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing came out. Instead I began nodding my head rather violently as I felt Edward grip my fingers and slid the ring on, shocked that it fit. "For the record, this so wasn't how I pictured proposing to you."

"It's perfect Edward, really," I said as I wiped some tears from my cheeks and then held my hand in front of me, admiring the ring. "I will admit, I never expected it to happen this way either, but it was genuine and you proposed by following your heart. That means more to me than anything. Can we do one thing though?"

"What's that?"

"Can we wait to tell everyone?" I asked Edward as he quirked his eye brow at me in confusion. "Alice's wedding is two weeks away and I don't want to take away from her wedding. We'll announce it when she and Jasper get back from their honeymoon, alright?"

"As long as I know you are going to be my wife one day, I don't care who knows it and who doesn't," Edward said with a grin as he lifted me from his lap and then stood up, offering me his hand. "Now, come with me. I want to make love to the future Mrs. Edward Cullen."

I couldn't help the grin that crossed my face as those words fell from Edward's lips. I was going to be Mrs. Edward Cullen one day, sooner than later, I hoped, but it would still happen. I wrapped my hand tightly in Edward's as he helped me stand up, and then I followed him excitedly towards the bedroom. I may have even skipped slightly as I looked at our joined hands, my new engagement ring featuring prominently. It really was beautiful, and I would need to thank Esme for offering it to Edward to give to me.

When we both stepped into the bedroom, the sheer need between us was palpable. I knew this was a sweet moment and that we should be making love and taking our time, but I couldn't help myself. When Edward stopped walking, I practically jumped him, wrapping my hand around his neck and pulling him down into a furious kiss, our mouths dancing clumsily against each other deliriously. "Umm… we don't have to rush Bella."

"Do you really want to go slowly?" I asked Edward as I grabbed the hem of my shirt and yanked it over my head and then undid my pants and removed them quickly, leaving me standing in front of Edward in a purple lace bra and panty set. Edward's eyes kind of bugged out of his head for a moment as I noticed his eyes raking over my body.

Without a word, Edward reached down and swept his arm under my knees and carried me over to bed, laying me down rather gently. His hands then ghosted down my sides slowly, taking in my curves and making me shiver at his touch. "Yes, Bella, I want to go slowly."

I let out a deep sigh and then felt his hands on my shoulders, dragging the straps of my bra down my arms, but not taking it off. I watched with rapt attention as he licked his lips and then pulled the cups of my bra down to cradle my breasts. Edward leaned forward and sucked my nipple into his mouth, sucking with abandon as his teeth nipped at the hard nub and made me groan in arousal. Fuck, he was good.

Edward switched to my other breast, giving it equal attention as I opened my legs beneath him and he nestled in between my legs, pressing against my pussy which was literally dripping in arousal. "More," I urged him as I threaded my fingers through his hair and pressed him harder against my skin as I cried out when he wrapped his entire mouth around my nipple and bit down hard. "Oh fuck."

"That sounds like something we can work on," Edward said smugly as he pulled away from my chest, but moved one hand behind my back to unclasp my bra. He pulled it off and tossed it into the closet before gazing down at me, lying on our bed. "You are so fucking beautiful."

"That's just what you say to all your fiancée's as you try to get them naked," I said with a small laugh as Edward lifted his eye brow and narrowed his eyes at me. "Or not." I let a small giggle slip out and Edward reached his hands down and began tickling my sides, making me laugh uncontrollably. When he stopped and I had a moment to catch my breath, I looked up and couldn't help the smile that crossed my face at seeing how utterly happy Edward was. I loved him with all of my heart and soul, and even though we had been through hell and back, we were both stronger for it. I could feel it in the looks we gave each other at that moment.

Edward leaned down and kissed my lips chastely before then tenderly kissing a trail down my body, his tongue tracing my nipples and my belly button, before he reached the edge of my panties. Catching me off guard, Edward took the lace edge of the garment into his mouth and began tugging my panties off with his teeth, as I lifted my hips to assist him as best as I could. When I was finally completely naked and lay out before him, Edward grinned even more at me.

"Do you think it's fair that I'm naked and you're not? Shouldn't we be going into the rest of our lives as equals?" I asked with a laugh as Edward bolted off the bed and stripped off his clothes in mere seconds.

"Better?" he asked as he crawled back between my legs and placed his hands on either side of my head, hovering directly above me. As though he was doing pushups, Edward kept leaning down and kissing me on my lips, neck, ear lobes and chest, lifting his body back up after each motion. I was groaning loudly, but not because of the intensity of his kisses, but because his hard cock was nestled right between my legs and was rubbing against my clit in the most pleasurable of ways.

"Oh god… so much better," I replied through clenched teeth as I lolled my head to the side and Edward attached his lips to the side of my neck, sucking furiously. I didn't even care that he was no doubt, leaving a hickey, because I just wanted him to mark me and love me as much as possible. I felt Edward move gently above me and when I felt his fingers dancing lightly over my clit, I knew exactly what he was doing. However, the feel of him touching me so sweetly was better than anything I'd ever experienced before. I let out a small gasp as one finger eased inside of my pussy and he began twisting it casually, before pumping it oh so slowly inside of me. It was the best form of torture, made ten times better when his thumb found my clit and began pressing firmly as he urged my orgasm forth.

I was so wrapped up in how good Edward was making me feel, I never noticed that he had moved down our bed until I felt his tongue replace his thumb, flicking and sucking wildly as he added a second and then a third finger inside me. "Oh Jesus fuck…" I shouted out as I came moments later, my back arching off of the bed as ecstasy overwhelmed me. When Edward looked up smugly from between my legs, I grabbed his face tightly in my hands and thrust myself forward to kiss him passionately, reveling in every moment and touch.

Edward hovered over me again and reached into the drawer of my nightstand for a condom, which reminded me of the baby debacle we were discussing less than half an hour ago. "Edward…" I said tentatively as he kneeled back on his heels and looked at me with worry in his eyes. "We don't… I mean… shit. Just put it away."

"Put what away?" he asked with his signature lopsided grin as he looked down towards where his erect cock was between our bodies. "I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to go away. Well, not yet anyways."

"I meant the condom. I've got the shot and we're engaged now," I said simply as he looked at me with wide eyes. Since Edward had moved back we hadn't used one, but now that we've gone through a false pregnancy, I couldn't help but think he was being overly cautious. However, at that moment, I knew I wanted to be closer to Edward, in every sense of the word.

"Bella… Are you sure, I mean you just had a pregnancy scare, so I want to be careful," Edward said stoically as I fought back the sheer mortification I felt at that moment.

"Dr. Nelson said that the false positive was just due to stress, not whether or not the shot was effective," I replied simply as Edward leaned down and kissed my cheek reverently, before wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me up with him, till I was straddling his legs.

"I love you."

"I know. I love you too."

"I'd do anything for you. You know that right?" he asked as his hips shifted slightly and I felt his cock graze my sensitive clit, making my head rest on his shoulder. I nodded my head slowly in response, my hair falling over my face to hide the tears that were breaking through, as I felt Edward lift my hips slightly before guiding his cock inside me and holding me tighter.

A string of expletives fell from my lips as Edward and I remained glued to our spots for a moment. "You are so fucking perfect," he said, as he moved some of the hair from near my ear and leaned forward to suck the lobe into his mouth. "So fucking warm, tight…" I lifted my hips slowly and began riding him, our chests pressed together as close as we could make them. "And so fucking beautiful."

For the next few minutes, we moved together in perfect harmony, repeating our declarations of love and devotion over and over again as we made love. Every touch from Edward was like he was memorizing my body, gentle and reverent, yet loving. It was erotic, tender and as Edward kept muttering over and over again, perfect. Edward was kissing my neck and thrusting hard inside of me when I came for the second time, clenching my entire body around him, as my fingers tugged on his hair. I arched my back away from Edward and felt him pump inside me a few more times before finally finding his own release and panting breathlessly.

We collapsed on top of the bed, struggling to find out breaths, when I felt his hand snake across my bare stomach as he pulled me against him and buried his face into my neck. "One day… we'll be married and have a baby or five, Bella."

"Five. Hold your horses there. We may need to talk about that."

"Four?" he asked with a laugh as I felt his tongue against my skin, tasting me.

"Let's start small… two. We can reconsider after that."

"Whatever you want Mrs. Cullen," Edward said as I closed my eyes and for a brief moment, saw a vision of myself in a white gown, clutching a small bouquet of flowers as our friends and family stood around us.

"All I want is you."

Two weeks later found us in Port Angeles, in the sweltering heat, as Alice and Jasper prepared to finally get married. Edward and I spent time while driving to the ceremony reflecting on how far everyone had come, especially Jasper who was now a respected fire fighter in Seattle and no longer quoted Talladega Nights every five seconds.

At the bachelorette and bachelor parties, we found out that Emmett and Rosalie were staying in Los Angeles now that they had both graduated, because Emmett had gotten a decent job working as a physical therapist at a local gym. When he had first gone to California with Rosalie to attend USC, he had no idea what the hell he wanted to do with his life, but ended up deciding on Kinesiology. Rosalie had gotten her degree in Business and was starting work a few days after the wedding in the Alumni Department at USC, so things were going really well with them.

Edward and I found it difficult not to tell our families about our engagement, particularly his mother, but when Esme noticed the ring dangling from a chain around my neck, she lit up like a Christmas tree. Thankfully, we were at their house for dinner and no one else was around at the time.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Esme gushed as she ran around the dinner table to pull Edward and I into a huge hug. "When did he ask you? Was it romantic? Spare no details."

Edward looked down at his dinner plate, apparently finding the pork chops very interesting as Esme sat back down in her seat and waited expectantly. "Umm… he asked about two weeks ago after I found out we weren't pregnant." The entire table grew silent and Carlisle let out a small groan as Esme looked like her jaw had hit the floor. "It really isn't as bad as it seems. Edward was really sweet and romantic. You would have been proud of him Esme. We both knew in that instant that we wanted a future together and couldn't see our lives without the other, so he asked me."

"Well, I guess I shouldn't get mad about the proposal. After all, the most important thing is that you guys are getting married. Have you set a date?" Edward and I glanced at each other for a moment before he spoke up.

"We're not telling anyone until Alice & Jasper's wedding is over on Saturday. We're not in any real rush to get married right now; being engaged is the best thing for us. With Bella's schedule at the hospital and me about to start medical school in a few weeks, we decided we would make plans down the road."

"How far down the road?" Carlisle asked curiously. "Did you see a doctor about the pregnancy thing Bella?" Edward and I explained to him that the test had been a false positive, most likely caused by stress and he seemed to relax somewhat. We also reassured them that although babies were something we wanted eventually, we were both too young and focused on our future to consider them. "I'm glad to hear you are being smart about the entire situation."

"Don't worry Dad. We're not rushing into anything, but it's nice to know she loves me just as much as I love her," Edward said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and kissed me sweetly. We spent that night at Edward's parents' house, cuddled up together in his old bedroom, both of us laughing over the major changes in our lives in the past few years.

The night before the wedding, I spent with Alice at her parents' house, helping her relax and de-stress. The bachelor and bachelorette parties had been held in Seattle the weekend before, so the Friday night was simply a night to chill and watch chick flicks. Forks was going through some odd heat wave and Alice was freaking out about whether the flowers would wilt, if her hair would fall and most importantly, what she would do if it rained.

Of course, in perfect Alice Brandon style, now Alice Whitlock, the entire day went off without a hitch. Alice was beautiful in a knee length white dress, with a lace overlay, that fit her like a glove. Rosalie and I, although tired from reassuring Alice the night before, both thought the ceremony was beautiful and Rose even confessed to me while we were having photos done that she thought Emmett was going to propose before the end of the summer. I was thrilled for her, but never once spilled my secret about Edward and me. It just wasn't the right time. It was Alice and Jasper's day.

By the time the reception was starting to fade, Edward and I were both dead on our feet. We spent that night at my father and Sue's house back in Forks and the next morning, we shared with them our good news. Sue and Charlie were finally getting married in November, in time for Thanksgiving. They were having a small ceremony down on La Push beach, weather pending as Sue kept reminding me, and then a small dinner back at the house. It was exactly what they wanted, and I couldn't have been happier for them.

When Edward and I finally got back to Seattle, our lives fell into a very comfortable routine. Esme made us go to a photographer in the city to have an engagement photo taken, though we made her wait a month before she could announce the engagement formally. When Alice and Jasper came home from their Honeymoon in Hawaii, we broke the news to them, with Alice squealing loudly in excitement as Jasper gave Edward a hearty handshake and one of those cheesy half hug things that guys do.

"So… when's the date?" Alice asked eagerly. Apparently she had so much fun planning her own wedding, that she couldn't wait to help plan another one.

"There is no date yet. It's only been three weeks since we got engaged, so give us a little time to enjoy it," I said with a smile as Alice hugged me again and whispered into my ear.

"I told you five years ago that he wanted you and you didn't believe me."

"I believe you now Alice. I swear."

A month later, Esme sent us a small envelope in the mail. Edward and I opened it together with trepidation, because Esme hadn't sent us any actual mail since I had moved into the apartment over a year ago.

Inside was a small scrap of paper that was cut from the Forks newspaper, with a small photo from the pictures Esme made Edward and I have done.

_Dr. and Mrs. Carlisle Cullen are thrilled to announce the engagement of their son, _

_Edward Anthony Cullen to Isabella Marie Swan,_

_daughter of Police Chief Charlie Swan and Sue Clearwater. _

_No wedding date has been set._

_Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth._

_It always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres._

A/N: Yup. That's it. The epilogue is in progress and I am hoping to update it within the next week or two. Keep an eye on my blog for teasers and hints about new stories. Yes, there will be new stories, after I finish Sundrenched World.


	39. My Epilogue

**A/N: Let's just read shall we?**

**I don't own Twilight; I do have a facebook account: coldplaywhore fanfiction. Come join us **

**EPOV**

"You're mother called again," Bella advised as I walked in the door of our apartment after a particularly long day at school. She was standing in the kitchen putting some chicken into the oven with a small frilly pink apron around her waist that looked like it had come straight from a Good Housekeeping article in the 1940's. It had been a gift from Alice shortly after Bella and I had moved in together, as they joked that Bella was now the happy little house maker. Sadly, that was almost a year ago and Bella didn't seem overly happy on this particular night.

"The same shit?" I asked with a groan as I tossed my laptop bag gently on top of our kitchen table and Bella scowled at me.

"Can you take it off the table? We're going to have dinner soon."

"You just put it in the oven. Can you give me a few minutes to have a drink and then I'll do it?" I asked, slightly frustrated at her tone with me. I knew she had worked a long shift since she rolled out of bed before the crack of dawn, but it wasn't like I was sitting around twiddling my thumbs all damned day. I had been busting my ass at medical school all day long. I let out a deep breath and tried to calm down before both of us, mainly me, did or said something we would inevitably regret. I slowly made my way back to the dining room table and lifted my laptop bag off of it, bringing it into the living room to sit on the chair where I usually spent my evenings typing away on my research papers.

"Thanks babe," she said with a small smile as she then pulled some vegetables from the fridge and began to make a salad.

"So, what did my mother have to say?" I decided it was probably best if I didn't make a mountain out of a mole hill regarding the whole bag thing, so I chose to pretend it never happened to begin with.

"Yeah, the usual. She was all over me about a wedding date. I let her know we were waiting until Charlie and Sue finally got married before we did anything," Bella stated as she ripped apart some lettuce and tossed it into the salad spinner, yet another gift from Alice since she got three of them for her wedding. "She kept telling me that your Great Aunt Tessie would probably kick the bucket before we ever got married, and it was her dream to see us get married."

"Ah, Esme and her good ol' guilt trip," I said with a sigh as I got a bottle of water from the fridge and downed it rather quickly. "Last week she said it was my Uncle Thomas who was on his deathbed and begging for us to finally wed. I swear sometimes she thinks we don't talk to each other."

Bella and I had started to make wedding plans after my mother had put the announcement in the local Forks paper. However, shortly after Jasper and Alice's wedding a year ago, Sue had become ill. Charlie, being the outstanding man he was, stood by her through everything and when they discovered she had breast cancer, he was surprisingly eager to keep their wedding date the same. However, Sue was determined to beat the disease and wanted to walk down the aisle with Charlie cancer-free. They rescheduled everything and their new Christmas wedding was now seven months away as Sue was on the final leg of her chemotherapy treatments. She was extremely optimistic about everything and through the love and support of virtually everyone we knew, she was doing well. "However, since Charlie and Sue have set their date, don't you think it's about time we did ours?"

"I don't have time to stress about a wedding right now, Edward," Bella snapped at me as she stormed off towards the bedroom and I felt more confused than ever. What the hell had gotten into her? I quickly followed and found her curled up on her side on our bed, looking as though she was about to burst into tears.

"What's wrong?" I questioned as I climbed in behind her and wrapped my arms tightly around her torso. "If you don't want a big wedding or anything like that, you know we can just run off to Vegas and elope."

"It's not the wedding, Edward," she said stoically as she turned in my arms to face me and buried her face in the crook of my neck. "It's just… I've… I've hardly seen you this week." I heard Bella let out a small sob and I tightened my hold on her, keeping as close to her as possible. "I knew our schedules would be hard, between work and school, but I never knew it would be this difficult."

"Awww… come here," I said gently as I stroked her hair slowly and felt her breathing even out somewhat. "Listen, it won't always be this hard, but yeah… we will have our days. I know once I start interning at a hospital things will get even more hectic, but I love you and I will always love you. Nothing worth having ever comes easy baby."

I could feel Bella's head nodding slowly as I kissed the top of it and let out a small sigh. "I'm sorry I'm frustrated."

"I'm sorry I've had exams to prepare for and papers to finish. We need to schedule some you and me time," I replied seriously. "I don't care what the hell we do, even if we just lock ourselves in here for two whole days, we need to be together."

"That sounds like a good idea," she said simply as I felt her legs entwining with mine. "I didn't mean to snap at you. It was just a rough day at work and then you came home late and I just…"

"You just what baby?"

"I just miss the days where you were home already reading or napping, when I got off my shift, and we made love until we fell asleep, barely finding the time to eat. I feel like we are losing a part of us thanks to this career and school stuff."

"Bella…" I was about to reassure her when I felt her hands thread through my hair as she pulled my face down towards her eager lips. Not wanting to pass up such an opportunity, I reached my hands down and grabbed her ass, pulling her closer to my straining cock.

"I want you," she said bluntly as she captured my lower lip beneath her teeth and tugged gently. "Make me feel connected to you again, baby," she urged as I rolled her onto her back and we began frantically peeling our clothes off. We spent the next hour in our bedroom making love, until the timer went off for dinner.

Deciding to be impulsive, Bella implemented 'naked nights', which meant that we ate dinner buck naked and then enjoyed round two on the couch shortly thereafter, Bella riding me until she came screaming my name. It was perfect and she no longer felt like she was separated from me, which was important to both of us. I was looking forward to more naked nights.

It wasn't unusual for couples to feel the stress related to their busy lives, but I never wanted Bella to feel distant from me. I made it my goal to do something from her list once my semester was finished to make her feel happy and wanted again. As we lay in bed later that night, the rain falling hard against the window, I decided to broach the topic again, now that we were in a happier place than a few hours before.

"So… have you even thought about a potential wedding date?" I asked curiously as Bella curled into my side. "Just so you know, if we pick a date, I bet my mother will lay off of us for a few weeks." Bella was silent, but I knew she was thinking things through in her head, so I waited as I felt her fingers dancing slowly across my bare chest.

"When do you finish med school babe?"

"In three more years."

"Well shit, there goes that idea?"

"What idea?" I asked as I ran my fingers through her hair and let in a deep breath, smelling her scent which always seemed to surround her.

"I was thinking we would get married right after you graduated."

"Yeah, I don't think I can wait that long sweetheart," I admitted genuinely as Bella kissed just above my heart and wrapped her legs around mine.

"Me either."

"Next summer? What about June… like mid June once my semester is over? I think I start my clinical schedule in early July, so we could easily get married, honeymoon and then be back in time for me to start. What do you say future Mrs. Cullen?"

"I say… where's your blackberry so we can check out a calendar." I reached over to my nightstand and grabbed the phone, pulling up the calendar for the next year and deciding on June 12th for our wedding date. We called my mother, who was over the moon and promised to leave us alone about the topic for a few weeks since we had over a year until the wedding. Personally, I couldn't wait to get off the phone so I could make love to my soon to be wife, over and over again.

**BPOV**

I never thought that on Christmas Eve I would be standing inside a small church on the outskirts of Forks wearing a red silk dress that matched Leah's exactly. I was holding a bouquet of snow white peonies with red ilex berry branches wrapped in green foliage and some thick twine that Charlie had at home for the longest time. I wasn't nervous, but my body was excited and happy.

As I looked around the church, I was shocked at how much Sue and Charlie managed to get done in such a short time. She finished her chemotherapy in late July and with the help of Leah, Esme and me, had managed to make all the arrangements for the wedding. Charlie came up behind me as I looked down the beautifully decorated aisle, a huge smile covering his face.

"Hey kiddo, you okay?" he asked as I leaned my head on his shoulder and let out a small breath. "I can't believe this will be you in six months." I felt my dad's arm wrap around my waist and squeeze me to his side. I had to admit, my dad certainly looked dapper in a suit and tie. It was rare to see him out of his uniform, so this was a major change for me.

"I can't believe it really. I mean… my dad is getting married today and in June I'll be getting married to Edward. A few years ago if you had told me I was going to marry Edward, I would have had you checked for an aneurysm. Then again, if you had told me you would marry Sue, I would have had the same reaction." I let out a small laugh as Edward came up beside us and hugged me from the other side. Even more of a shock to the system was that he was acting as the co-best man in the wedding, along with Seth. Sue & Charlie couldn't decide between Leah and me for the maid of honor position, so we both got it. Surprisingly, it was Charlie's bright idea to have Seth and Edward both stand up with him.

"What am I missing out on?"

"My daughter's disbelief that she is marrying you," said Charlie as I rolled my eyes and I punched him gently in his stomach.

"Again?" Edward asked as he looked down on me before kissing my temple. "I thought we went over this in the car on the way to Forks. You were made for me and I was made for you."

"Technically, that was just Jewel singing a song on the radio and you nodding your head in agreement. We didn't actually discuss anything. You just motioned with your hand to the radio."

"Technicality," Edward said with a huge grin and a shrug of his shoulders. "So when does this shindig begin anyways? Seth and I are hungry as hell. The entire menu isn't fish is it?" I looked around the small church and noticed several guests coming in, including Jacob and his new fiancée, Gianna. Sue had warned me in advance that he was coming because she was still close friends with Billy, who had managed to somewhat repair the strained relationship with my father. They certainly weren't the best of friends that they used to be, but as Charlie often said, something was better than nothing.

As I looked them up and down, I shuddered involuntarily. Even though I thought I was prepared to see him, the whole situation was exacerbated by the fact that his fiancée was pregnant, and looked like she was due any second now.

"Good Afternoon Charlie, Bella… Edward," Jacob said, emphasizing Edward's name with disdain. We both let out a small laugh and I couldn't help but notice Edward tighten his grip around my waist. I was actually surprised Jacob decided to come at all. "It's a beautiful day for a wedding."

"Yes it is, Jacob. It's exactly what Sue wants, so I'm happy." Charlie was still very well mannered around Jacob, although I knew for a fact he wouldn't mind the chance to go and rip his head off if he could.

"You look well Bella," Jake said as he eyed me up, focusing a little too long on my breasts, which Edward noticed.

"I'm fine," I replied stoically as I tried to avoid his gaze complete.

"We're both doing excellent Jake, thanks for asking," Edward chimed in, his teeth grinding together in frustration which I figured everyone could hear. We hadn't seen Jacob in almost two and a half years and it was a case of 'out of sight, out of mind.' However, now that Jacob was here with us for such a special occasion, I knew Edward was brimming with frustration. "You must be excited to become a father soon?"

"Well, it was a little bit of a surprise, but a welcome one," lied Jacob deftly as he draped his arm over Gianna's shoulder, not unlike he used to do to me once upon a time. I cringed because he was such a possessive asshole that I was certain if he hadn't knocked up Gianna, she wouldn't be with him. Especially considering all the details Seth had shared with us over the past few weeks about Jake's infidelity issues.

Gianna was a college freshman when Jacob met her the summer we broke up. She was young, impressionable and thought Jake hung the moon because he paid her so much attention. Of course, I found out from Seth a while later that Jake had cheated on her with flower shop girl again, and that they had broken up. Gianna was apparently glutton for punishment though because she ran into Jake at a party in April and now here they were, pregnant and clearly not in love with each other. I couldn't help but feel sorry for the child they were due to have.

"Well, good luck and all that stuff," Edward said casually as I heard him whisper 'you'll need it' under his breath. Thankfully, we were pulled from the awkward situation when Jacob, Charlie and Gianna started talking about some events that had happened in town recently, while Edward pulled me off to the side.

"I knew he was coming, but I really hoped he would have changed his mind," he explained as he pulled me against him and kissed my temple. Leah came out of the bridal suite and began walking over to me with a grin on her face.

"Yeah, I kind of may have wished that he would have moved out of the area by now, but I could care less really. I'm going to ignore his existence and revel in being with the love of _my_ life," I said as I leaned up and kissed Edward again. His lips felt electric against mine and it reminded me how perfect we really were for each other. Just as I was about to kiss him again, Leah grabbed my forearm.

"Come on woman, Mom is almost ready. Edward, go get everyone seated, we're going to get this show on the road."

Thirty minutes later, Charlie and Sue said their heartfelt vows and enthusiastic 'I do's' to a church filled with their closest friends and family. Leah and I both broke out into tears along with Esme, who was sitting in the front row along with Carlisle and a few other close friends of Charlie's.

The reception was held back at my parents', wow that felt a little weird but awesome to say, house. Sue, Esme, Leah and I had decorated the entire main floor for Christmas, and they treated it more like an open house than a wedding reception. People came in, gave their well wishes and had some food. Charlie and Sue danced to their first song, 'The Good Stuff' by Kenny Chesney, and then after that the rest of the music was Christmas.

By the time the last wedding guest left, Edward and I wandered out onto the front porch for some fresh air before cleaning up and turning in for the night. His arms wrapped tightly around my chest, holding me close against him. "It's starting to snow," he whispered gently in my ear as I watched the tail lights of Esme & Carlisle's car fade into the distance.

"Is it a Christmas miracle?" I asked with a small laugh as I felt Edward's lips against my neck and the clanging of pots in the house, no doubt from Leah and Seth reminding us that we had agreed to clean up.

"You're my Christmas miracle," Edward said genuinely as I pushed away from him and couldn't help the laughter that burst forth.

"Could you be anymore cheesy?"

The next summer, on June 12th, Edward and I prepared to exchange vows in Charlie's backyard and I was nervous as hell. I had no doubts about my love for Edward, but now I was anxious about tripping up the aisle and landing face first in my flowers, or saying something stupid to Leah's new boyfriend Daniel, who was several years older than her.

I stood in Charlie & Sue's bedroom, pacing back and forth in front of the window where I could see my friends and family as they gathered in the backyard. Some of them were milling about chatting happily, and some had already taken seats on the white chairs we rented for the event. Everything was done in a blue and green theme and we were getting married beside the rather ostentatious waterfall and flower garden that Esme and Sue had designed together and created for our day. Sue insisted she was going to have it done anyways, but I felt like it was a bit too much. However, it did turn out beautiful and everything was shaping up to fall into place. Not that Alice, my pseudo wedding planner and matron of honor, would tell me if there was a problem.

"Bella, you need to step away from the window," she stated as she walked in the room clutching my bouquet and hers. They really were beautiful with their robust hydrangeas, muscari and sweet peas. I grabbed it from her and took in a deep breath as she let out a small groan. "Edward could see you and its bad luck."

"He's not even outside yet Alice, so calm down," I advised her as she began running through the list of things she confirmed for me while she was downstairs. The food was ready for the reception, the beer was chilling, the waiters were all hot and the cake still looked delicious. Of course, the food was the foremost thing in her mind now that she was five months pregnant and due in October with her first child with Jasper. It was an unplanned surprise, but an exciting one, and they had already asked Edward and I to be godparents, so we were excited, but the entire thing was a little daunting.

Alice walked behind me and double checked the tightness of the bow tied at the back of my neck which held my halter in place and then gripped my shoulders and turned me around. Alice and I had poured through bridal magazines for weeks looking for bridal gowns, with no luck. We planned a day where would we visit as many shops as we could for her dress and mine, but at the very first bridal shop we entered in Seattle, I saw it from across the room and ended up buying it on the spot after trying it on. Alice loved it just as much as I did and thought it was perfect for a garden wedding in June with its flowing chiffon fabric and sweetheart neckline. My hair was down in long curls, with a small white flower holding one side of my hair up for dramatic effect, as Alice liked to say.

"Now, I realize that Esme and Sue already gave you the whole 'married woman' advice thing last weekend at your bachelorette party, but speaking as someone who has only been married for almost two years, I have some advice of my own."

I rolled my eyes but Alice simply snapped her fingers and made me focus again. "You do realize Edward and I have been living together for two years, so I don't think I need any advice." Suddenly I let out a groan as I remembered the conversation I had with Sue the Saturday before. "And you do know I'm not a virgin right? You don't have to talk to me about saving myself for someone special."

"Oh, I know that too girl," Alice replied with a chuckle as she gave me a quick hug. "My great-grandma gave me this advice 'never go to bed mad' and Jazz and I swear by it. We used to swear by 'a fuck a day keeps the grumpies away' but then I got pregnant and spent three months puking into the toilet, so that one went to shit."

"Alice, watch your mouth," my father said as he walked in a moment later looking dapper as hell in his dark blue suit. Being married to Sue had suited my father more than he knew, as these days he was practically glowing like a pregnant woman. Edward told me it was because they were probably humping like crazy, but I chose to not think about that at all, for fear of scarring myself permanently.

"Sorry Chief Daddy," Alice apologized as she kissed me gently on the cheek and handed me a white monogrammed handkerchief with the initials IMC. "Keep that nearby, you'll need it." Alice then skipped out of the room, which was amazingly graceful considering her slightly protruding baby belly, leaving me alone with my father.

"Sue told me it was time to fetch you. The band is ready, your groom is standing at the end of the aisle and Reverend Webber is ready to go," said my dad with a slightly sad expression on his face. "I'm so proud of you Bella." I clutched the handkerchief tightly in my hand and reached up to quickly brush aside a falling tear. "I know it was always just you and me against the world, but I think we've done good this time. Sue, Seth, Leah, Edward, Carlisle and Esme really do make the perfect family for us huh?"

"Yeah, they are pretty good," I said as I sucked in a deep breath and tried to calm myself. "I love you dad. You have been my rock and I'm blessed to have had you by my side."

"Well, now you have a new rock," he said with a wide grin on his face as we stepped out into the hallway and headed, arm in arm, towards the stairs. "I couldn't be happier for you guys, ya know. It's been a long road, but a worthwhile one." I nodded my head, trying to fight back the tears again as we walked slowly down the stairs, my eyes on my feet as I feared tripping and doing a header into the small table Charlie & Sue kept at the bottom.

"I know Daddy and I'm so happy you have Sue."

"He loves you." I nodded my head slowly. "And I trust you love him?" I nodded again as we reached the last step and headed towards the back door, passing the waiters and staff Esme insisted on hiring for the event. "If he ever doesn't treat you right, I'll always have my gun," he finished, emphasizing it with a laugh as I pulled back slightly and looked at him incredulously. "Oh hell Bells, if I didn't shoot him years ago when I found him basically humping you in my living room before I even knew his name, I'm certainly not gonna shoot him now."

"Thanks Daddy, you are the best."

"Yeah, I know. Now let's go do this." I gripped his arm tighter as the French doors opened to the back yard and we starting walking down the aisle towards my future. _My Edward._

The ceremony went by at record speed as Edward and I held hands, when I wasn't blotting away my tears, and reciting our vows. We promised to love, cherish, help, encourage, always respect and be honest with each other. The moment Reverend Webber said Edward could kiss the bride, his hand threaded through my hair and he kissed me with more passion than I knew possible.

We walked back down the aisle, both of us smiling like idiots at our family and friends who had gathered to help us celebrate. Edward's hands grasped mine firmly as he planted another kiss, this time on my cheek and his mouth then touched my ear gently. "I never got a chance to say this earlier, but you look absolutely beautiful, Mrs. Cullen."

"Well, you aren't so bad yourself Mr. Cullen."

**EPOV**

The day Bella told me the news, which was our fourth wedding anniversary incidentally; I was literally over the moon with excitement. However, at this moment, I was a little bit unsure of the whole thing.

Bella was lying in a room at Harborview Medical Center, where I was now employed in pediatrics, practicing the deep breathing exercises we had learned in our Lamaze classes. I, however, was down the hall getting her yet another cup of ice chips and wondering what the hell we hadn't done to prepare ourselves for this big change.

Bella and I were both happy in our careers, though we worked at different hospitals. We had moved into a small craftsman style three bedroom home north of the downtown core shortly after our wedding and had spent a great deal of time and effort making it perfect for us. As soon as Bella and I were able to find out the sex of the baby, we did, and it took me several weeks to get over the shock of us having a girl. What was formerly a guest room was now a nursery that my mother had converted for us while we were away in Vancouver for an extended weekend. It was a surprise to both of us, but a welcome one. She painted it light green, with a white crib, bright pink accents and even had framed pictures of Bella and I as babies around the room to top it all off.

Alice had thrown Bella a huge baby shower, a month ago, incorporating the women she and I both worked with, and all of our friends and family from back in Forks. We had gotten so many gifts but the best was the news that Alice and Jasper were expecting their second child, son Henry was already three and a half and rather rambunctious.

Rosalie had flown in for the event and advised us that she and Emmett were moving back to Seattle to settle down. They had been engaged for several years, but their careers prevented them from moving forward. Rather than become slaves to their jobs and claiming that they needed a major change of pace, they decided that leaving Los Angeles was in their best interest, and we were expecting them back in early summer, with their wedding to follow in late August. I knew it would be wonderful to have our group of friends back together because as much as I had missed Emmett, I had missed bantering with Rosalie just as much.

I headed back into the room as Sue sat beside Bella, clutching her hand tightly and encouraging her as best as she could. Bella was going to be giving Sue & Charlie their first grandchild, though Leah and her now husband Daniel, were due in just a few months themselves. "How's it going?" I asked stupidly as I moved towards the window and glanced out quickly. Seattle was dealing with a freak snowstorm in February and my parents had yet to arrive, though my mother assured me she wouldn't miss the birth of her first grandchild.

"As good as can be expected," Sue muttered as Bella simply rolled her eyes at me.

"It's perfect, wonderful. In fact, I feel no pain whatsoever," she said sarcastically as she reached out for my hand and clutched it tightly. I swore she broke a finger. "Although I'm sure it would be better if I could get a god damn epidural," Bella screamed out down the hallway towards the nurses' station as Sue let out a small laugh.

"I used to think you had your father's patience," Sue said as her smile grew wider and she looked up at me with a hint of sympathy.

"Yeah, I did… when I wasn't giving birth to a forty pound baby."

"Oh she's not forty pounds for heaven's sake. She'll be lucky to be forty pounds when she's like five years old, so calm down. Damn, you definitely get your over dramatics from your father."

"What does she get from me?" Charlie asked as he walked in the room a minute later clutching a huge pink teddy bear and a balloon bouquet that could probably be seen from the space station. "I'm sure it's her stellar fishing skills and indomitable investigative abilities."

"Uh yeah… that's what it is, Gramps," I replied back sarcastically as Charlie scowled at me briefly before we were all pulled from our playful banter by Bella's groans as she suffered through another contraction. "By the way, did you leave anything down in the gift shop?"

"This is my first grandchild, let me spoil her a little bit," Charlie said with a small smile as Bella literally growled at my side. "Did you guys decide on a name yet?"

"She's not even born yet Dad, and at the rate they are going, I doubt I'm going to have her at all," Bella forced out angrily as I let her squeeze the life out of my hand. When her contraction passed, I think everyone was relieved when the anesthesiologist arrived to prep her for her epidural.

Just over two hours later, Dr. Brown and his nurse Allison, were prepping Bella for delivery when my mother and father ran into the room breathlessly. "We didn't miss it did we?" Esme shouted excitedly as she ran over to Bella's bed side and was relieved to see her pregnancy belly was still in place. "Oh thank god."

"I told you we didn't have to run that red light, Esme," my father chastised, as my mother groaned in response. They both looked flustered and tired, no doubt wishing they had to good sense to come into Seattle when they heard the weather was turning bad, as Charlie and Sue had.

"Carlisle, she's about to give birth to our first grandchild, so shut it. The red light was just a suggestion at that moment and had we been pulled over, I would have sweet talked us out of that ticket."

"I'll just pretend I never heard that discussion," said Charlie as he walked over to Bella and gave her a quick peck on the forehead. "I think Sue and I are going to go sit in the waiting room. I'd rather not see this."

"I need a coffee," Carlisle added as Charlie patted him on the back and quickly agreed to go with him, advising Sue and my mother that they would meet them in the waiting room in a few minutes. My mother proceeded to gush over Bella and questioned her about everything that happened during her time in the hospital thus far. She was probably get on the nerves of Bella's nurse, but I just laughed it off because I knew my mother's nursing history and Allison, our nurse, just figured she was being a nosy bitch.

When Dr. Brown let us know that it was time for Bella to start pushing because she was fully dilated, she began to cry and I immediately freaked out. The moms were about to leave, but Bella quickly latched on to my mother's hand and wouldn't let her go.

"Please stay," she begged as tears poured down her cheeks and I didn't move fast enough to help her. "I never had a real mom till you guys came along. Please stay," she asked again as my mother and Sue literally lit up with excitement at the fact that they would be in the room when their first grandchild was born.

"Whatever you want Bella," my mother assured her as her tears subsided, only to be replaced by the ones now clouding my mothers' eyes. She had always thought of Bella as a daughter and this, as well as our wedding, only solidified everything.

Bella looked up at me again and squeezed my hand tightly as I brushed some hair from her face, kissing her temple softly as I whispered my love and encouragement to her. She then glanced over at the doctor, who had begun advising us of what was going on. He urged Bella to push as Allison and I counted to ten with her, helping her through each arduous push and contraction.

It was just after nine thirty in the evening on February 8th, that our daughter Amelia Faith Cullen, or Mia, came screaming into the world, proving she had very healthy lungs. She had a small smattering of reddish brown hair and huge eyes that I knew would turn a beautiful shade of dark brown, just like her mother. Charlie and Carlisle claimed they could hear her screams from the waiting room down the hall, which wouldn't have surprised me.

"She's beautiful," my father said when he walked into the room just before ten, while I was holding Mia tightly in my arms. She was so small and delicate; I couldn't even believe she was finally here. "Reminds me a lot of you when you were born."

I turned to my dad and gently handed him Mia so that he could hold her. Of course, he was a natural thanks to his years of being a doctor and delivering countless babies back in Forks. "It suits you Grandpa," I said with a grin as he smiled back at me and he offered Mia his finger, which she wrapped her tiny digits around. "I knew she would have you wrapped around her finger from the get go."

We spent the next twenty minutes getting to know little Mia, with all the grandparents taking turns holding her, before they finally decided that they would brave the weather and try to head to the hotel that Sue & Charlie were staying at. When everyone was gone, Allison came back and helped Bella learn to breastfeed, with Mia latching on like a natural.

"You did so amazing Bella," I said as I sat beside her on the edge of the bed, watching with wonder as she fed our daughter. I still couldn't believe it. We had a daughter, were married and were building our life together. After everything we went through as teenagers, I was always astounded by Bella's generous nature. She really was the love of my life.

"Thanks for letting me crush your hand," she said sweetly as I watched her hand stroke Mia's soft hair, both of them looking so content.

"I would let you do it over and over again of it meant it got us this little miracle," I said genuinely as she smiled up at me and then back at our daughter. "I don't deserve the happiness you both give me."

"Edward, I was over our childish antics years ago. We resolved them together and are stronger for it, so don't ever feel like you don't deserve us. We were always meant to be together, fate just wanted to throw a little bump in the way, is all." I couldn't help myself as I grasped the back of Bella's head and leaned in, kissing her hard on the lips. She really was the perfect woman for me and had given me the best gift I could ever possibly receive.

"So are you ready to have another one?" I said with a laugh as Bella rolled her eyes at me and groaned.

"How about we get a few months worth of diaper changes in with this one first, and then we'll talk," Bella replied as she lifted Mia from her breast to burp her and I nodded in response. "We're not in a hurry anymore Edward. We're not going anywhere anymore, unless it's together."

**A/N: First of all, a huge thanks to my mastah-beta MaggieMay14 who really is the ying to my yang. She makes all of this work with her suggestions and help.**

**Big love to my pre-readers Risbee, Beegurl13, Flightlessbird11 (HAPPY BIRTHDAY BB!), TwiOthGirly and TillyWhitlock, for their constant words of encouragement even though they don't want this story to end. I'm excited to say that there will be NO SEQUEL for this story! I think I have told enough of their story, that my readers won't be desperate to know anything further. **

**That being said, I am offering myself up for auction in the Fandom Gives Back Eclipse Edition auction that is in mid June, so if there is something you want to see from this story or any other, please consider bidding on me for such a wonderful charity as Alex's Lemonade Stand.**

**My next focus will be to finish Sundrenched World and Maybe I'm Falling For You, both of which have about six chapters remaining. The next chapter of SW is with the beta, so never fear, it will be updated soon. Before you ask, yes I have new stories on deck. Shockingly, I have been working on two of them, but I do not plan to post anything until SW is done.**

**Thanks so much for all your words of encouragement and support for this story! The response and love has been overwhelming and I love each and every one of you who has taken a moment to send me a review, even just one review. I love you all. Thanks for reading!**

**-CPW**


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